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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 25, 2023 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, eddie murphy, d'arcy carden, and music from hailey whitters. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. welcome. hi, welcome. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching, thank you for joining us at our headquarters here in the balmy weather of hollywood. feel that?
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you can feel extra excitement in the air because eddie murphy is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] very exciting. he's here to talk about his new comedy "you people" which is very funny. eddie plays the father of a black woman who's getting married to a white man, and the reviews are excellent. tucker carlson called it "the scariest movie i've ever seen." [ laughter and applause ] speaking of scary. anybody feel that earthquake we had this morning? 2:00 a.m. guillermo, did you feel it? >> guillermo: not at all, jimmy. yeah, i was -- >> jimmy: tequila works, doesn't it? >> guillermo: works all the time. >> jimmy: it was a 4.2 off the coast of malibu. it was coupled with an annual reminder of our impending doom. in washington they have a group of atomic scientists who gather to update what they call the doomsday clock. this is a metaphorical measure of how close we are getting to the end of the human race. i'll tell you what, these guys, one thing they really know how to put on a show. >> we move the clock forward, the closest it has ever been to midnight.
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it is now -- 90 seconds to midnight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's like they died already or something. [ laughter and applause ] the doomsday clock, first of all, it looks like they bought it at party city. [ laughter ] second, if they want to get people's attention, you need to spice this presentation up. like this. >> it is now -- 90 seconds to midnight. >> we're all gonna die! we're doomed, doomed i say, doomed! how are you so calm? 90 seconds! run for your [ bleep ] lives! aah! aah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how you let the
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planet know, at 90 seconds, we're basically one microwave potato away from extinction. [ laughter ] in other doomsday news, donald trump is going to be back on facebook and instagram soon. meta announced they are going to reinstate both his accounts in the coming weeks. the president of meta global affairs said trump's accounts will come with new guardrails in place to deter repeated offenses. [ laughter ] those will work. i'm sure this time he'll be very well behaved. ever since he commanded an army of dim-witted goons to overthrow the government, he's shown a lot of restraint. he's almost a zen master now. [ laughter ] sadly for trump, the news came too late for a big announcement he made on truth social. bagger vance wrote, senior club championship at he - trump international golf club, competed against many fine golfers and was hitting the ball long and straight. the reason that i announce this on fabulous truth is that in a very real way it serves as a physical exam. only much tougher.
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you need strength and stamina to win. i have strength and stamina, most others don't. you also need strength and stamina to govern." that's right. [ laughter ] i tell you, if this isn't the picture of stamina and strength. when i first looked at it, i thought it was "the rock." the only problem with this win is fattyshack didn't exactly play fair. [ laughter ] he missed the whole first day of the tournament because he was in north carolina paying tribute to himself at a memorial for his superfan, diamond, of diamond and silk. he told the organizers of the tournament, "i played a strong round two days before the tournament." he decided that would count as his saturday score. so he started the tournament with a five-stroke lead. [ laughter ] which is like showing up at mile six and claiming you won the marathon. [ laughter ] even kim jong-un was like, "yeah, right, bro." meanwhile, this mike pence classified documents thing is really throwing republicans for a loop. they're running around in circles trying to claim that
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what biden did is worse than what mike pence did. here's ted cruz on the documents they found at joe biden's house. >> i believe the fbi needs to search the residences of hunter biden and any business offices of hunter biden. >> jimmy: here's his take on the documents as they pertain to mike pence. >> oh, look, the mike pence story, it's still early. [ laughter ] you know, mike pence, as you noted, he is a good friend, he's a good man. he's explained where these came from. that was a mistake. but there's no reason to think it was anything but inadvertent. >> jimmy: right. even though they're exactly the same thing, they're not the same thing. mike pence is a good friend. mike pence is like, "um, he's not my friend, barely know that guy." [ laughter ] then we have the new face of the gop, george santos, who's now admitted to the federal election commission that a $500,000 personal loan he claimed to have made to his campaign didn't actually come from him. of course that money didn't come -- two years the guy
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reported his income was $55,000 a year. the only way somebody like george santos comes into $500,000 is if he intentionally slips on varnish he spilled so he can sue home depot. [ laughter ] now the big question is why did he amend his paperwork and who gave him all that money? >> why did you emend your report to say -- >> let's make it very clear, i don't emend anything, i don't touch any of my -- don't be disingenuous, you know that every campaign hires fiduciaries. i'm not aware of that answer and we'll have an answer regarding the emendments. >> what was the source of your funds, sir? what was the source of that money? sir? why can't you divulge the source of the upon? >> congressman santos what can you say about the source of that money? >> huh? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on, give the guy a break. don't you know he went deaf in the korean war? [ laughter and applause ]
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maybe he lost half a million teeth and got the money from the tooth fairy, you don't know. [ laughter ] we've been goofing on george santos a lot, and rightly so, i think. some people have a different way of looking at this, including one of our writers, lewis virtel, who is with us right now to "virtel it like it is." [ cheers and applause ] >> the term "gay icon" gets thrown around a lot. and it's not limited to madonna or diana ross or snap, crackle and pop. [ laughter ] who have been having a threesome in your breakfast since 1933. [ laughter ] there are many gay icons, it but we need more. in order to thrive as gays, we need to grow our brand. so i would like to nominate a new gay icon. george santos. [ laughter ] this bumble [ bleep ] little goblin boy who dresses like a
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3-year-old millionaire is a star. i'd tell you more about him, except everything i know right now is a lie. [ laughter ] his high school, his college education, his job history, his glasses. those aren't prescription. [ laughter ] you know this bitch can see. [ laughter ] and yet i'm intrigued. when you go through a list of the great liars in history -- benedict arnold, richard nixon, bernie madoff, felicity huffman -- [ laughter ] the vast majority have been straight. and that's not inclusive. we all lie. lying is built into the gay experience. as a teenager, i told people i admired ryan phillippe because of his performance in "gosford park." [ laughter ] what i meant was, ryan phillippe's abs in "i know what you did last summer" made me wish i was the thing he did last summer. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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here's george santos in drag. what? is that on his head? [ laughter ] that's a wig you buy to evade police. [ laughter ] they say he went by the name kitara ravash, which in portuguese means "slutty power rangers villain." [ laughter ] he's also a trailblazer, literally. here he is blazing a trail past reporters. with the help from, i believe, a cast member from "glee." [ laughter ] and his lies are so shockingly blatant. what kind of a psychotic banana brain would claim to have appeared on "hannah montana" and "the sweet life of zach and cody"? it's so brazen you almost have to admire it. so i applaud george santos, or anthony divulder or kitara rivage, whatever his name is, for breaking out of the neil patrick harris, pete buttigieg, gay goody two-shoes mold.
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not all gay people are good. some of us are awful. [ laughter ] remember this sneaky little queen? [ laughter ] i just hope that when george santos finally gets kicked out of the house of representatives, he gets a shot at another house -- the "celebrity big brother" house. [ cheers and applause ] where i can watch this sociopath 24 hours a day. [ laughter ] so here's to you, george santos. like all the great queer heroes. your balls are freakishly big. your ego is off the charts. and your mascara looks like a hate crime by maybelline. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. lewis virtel, everybody. thank you, lewis. and apologies to the redenbacher family. [ laughter ] we've been doing this show for -- it's our 20th
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anniversary. [ cheers and applause ] every night this week, we've been digging through our history to show how we got here. now, this was the very first thing we shot. this never appeared on our show. we shot it for the super bowl pregame show to promote our first show. i thought it might be fun to share it tonight. i'd been working at comedy central for six or seven years. when i moved to network television, we made this, what turns out to be a fascinating time capsule of the year 2003 as i said good-bye to cable. >> hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. my new talk show debuts live tonight on abc. i'm ready to make the move to network. before i go, i've got to say good-bye to cable. >> michael jordan makes a huge decision. >> and tiger woods needs advice -- >> bye, "sportscenter." >> oh, bye-bye. >> jimmy, see you. >> on thursday, chief weapons
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inspector hans blix says iraq has failed to provide the weapons information -- >> good-bye, jon stewart. >> good-bye, jimmy kimmel, we'll miss you. good luck, my friend. i'll tell battle bots you said bye. >> it's got to be a classic uniform like the raiders, the black and silver -- >> good-bye, melissa. >> oh, bye, jimmy. >> i can't stand it. >> i'll miss you. >> oh, yes. >> if such a resolution were ever brought before it -- >> good-bye, wolf blitzer. >> good-bye, jimmy. take care. >> the secretary-general repeated his call -- >> what's your favorite word? >> gypsy. >> very good. what's your -- >> good-bye, "inside the actors" studio. bye, history channel. >> oh, the humanity, the smoke and the flames -- >> jimmy kimmel? >> bye, wwe. good-bye. >> bye. >> what's jimmy kimmel doing here? >> good-bye.
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>> oh, my. >> the little war in the bedroom might be about the comforter -- >> good-bye. >> bye, jimmy. it should be luxurious enough for her, tailored enough for him. remember, you can do it. >> because you're the best, best dog in all the world. >> good-bye, anna nicole. >> he ate my pickle. >> do you understand -- >> he said he doesn't like you, you're an idiot. >> good-bye, sopranos. >> what's with the good-bye sopranos? >> i'm doing a talk show on abc. >> no, you took an oath to cable. >> what's wrong with cable? >> aahhh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is an in memoriam
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montage. we have a great show for you tonight. d'arcy carden is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have music from hailey whitters. we'll be back with eddie murphy, so stick around! re. music from hailey whitters. we'll be back with eddie murphy, so stick around!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: look at this. tonight, from the new movie "shotgun wedding," d'arcy carden is with us. [ cheers and applause ] later, she is a country singer and songwriter from iowa. this is her album "raised." hailey whitters from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night is a big one for us. we're celebrating our 20th anniversary in primetime at 10:00. again at our regular time with the original lineup of guests we
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had on our very first show in 2003. george clooney, snoop dogg, and coldplay. it will be a warm and wonderful look back at the last 20 years, and i hope you will join us for that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is funny to the bone. he is one of the all-time greats with a new movie called "you people" premiering friday on netflix. please say hello to gumby, dammit. eddie murphy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: it is great to have you here. look at this. people get excited, you know? you probably get that every time you walk into the coffee bean, i'm sure. >> no, no, it's always nice to hear. >> jimmy: how are you doing? did you feel that earthquake last night? >> a little. i realized i felt the earthquake when i got to work and they were talking about it. it was like, oh, yeah, i did feel the earthquake. [ laughter ] i thought i was dreaming. >> jimmy: have you ever been in a big one, one of the big ones? >> i was in the northridge quake. >> jimmy: did you live near that one? >> no, but you could feel it. >> jimmy: yeah, you felt it everywhere. >> house was shaking, it was crazy. >> jimmy: it's scary, yeah. it makes you realize. even eddie murphy is subject to the whims of the planet. [ laughter and applause ] congratulations. you got the cecil b. demille award. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: and i know -- i know how much cecil meant to you. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i also know that tracy
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morgan, who's a mutual friend of ours, presented you with this award. and he is, i mean -- i think meeting you is the greatest thing that ever happened to him in his whole life. i really do. >> i loved tracy for years and years. he's so funny. getting that award from him made it even more special. >> jimmy: yeah. and he was talking about something that you guys i guess do, unless he was making this up, which is you recite lines from "planet of the apes." the original movie. [ laughter ] >> we do. all the time. we'll text. i'll text a line, you know. >> jimmy: like what would be a choice line from the movie you'd text tracy? >> "tell me, taylor, where is your nest at?" [ laughter ] then he'll text back, "thank god for calling me taylor." >> jimmy: dr. zay, yeah. >> "i know who i am, who are you, how in hell did this upside
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down civilization --" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so good. >> over and over. for years watching it over and over. >> jimmy: did you have the action figures? >> i was too old to get them. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, okay. >> i talked my little brother into getting them. [ laughter ] "we should get those planet of the ape toys, man." then i would play with them. >> jimmy: i know you're a "star trek" fan as well. at one time you were going to be in a "star trek" movie? >> you know which one it was? the one where they go to san francisco, they get the whale -- >> jimmy: a funny one. >> i was going to be the one that they met when they got to san francisco. and i was like, no, i want to go -- i want to beam up, be on the ship. [ laughter ] so i didn't do it. >> jimmy: yeah, no, you have to be on the "enterprise." you can't be in san francisco for "star trek." >> yeah, they had me talking jive to spock in san francisco. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is it true that you watched "cocoon" at sammy davis
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jr.'s house with sammy davis? >> yes, that's true. >> jimmy: that's good. >> i wasn't the only one. sammy would have movie night on tuesday night. you would go there, all the stars -- i saw steve and eydie gorme, lucille ball, michael would be there. >> jimmy: michael jackson? >> jackson. >> jimmy: i don't know, i thought jordan for a second, then i was like, oh, no, maybe -- michael jackson would be there. he watched "cocoon" there? >> hid behind the door, too many people. [ laughter ] too many people in the room. he was hiding behind the door. "eddie, come." i went behind the door with him. standing behind the door. i was like, what the [ bleep ]? "there's so many people in here." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you used to make fun of michael on "saturday night live." when you met him, did you meet him before you would make fun of him? >> you know what, if you look at the stuff i did on michael, it was never mean-spirited. it was always funny stuff because i knew him. >> jimmy: right. >> i never really made fun of him.
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>> jimmy: but you imitated him. >> yeah, but i wasn't making fun of him, he was michael and i was doing funny michael. >> jimmy: did he always talk like that in private conversations, that high-pitched michael? >> no, his voice wasn't high like that in person. >> jimmy: uh-huh, yeah. did you ever get to meet bubbles the chimp? >> you know, i met bubbles, but bubbles -- [ laughter ] he had bubbles -- michael had like a real zoo at his house. and really, like a big zoo with giraffes and -- i mean, he had a facility, a thing that was so big that giraffes was walking around. [ laughter ] huge, huge. and bubbles had gotten too old. bubbles was in a cage tripping. michael's like, "don't go near the cage!" [ laughter ] and we had dinner. they brought the -- the trainer had brought the chimps in.
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they were running around while we were eating dinner. running under the table. it was surreal. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so bubbles wasn't the only chimp, there were other chimps that didn't become famous? >> he had other chimps. >> jimmy: well. i heard you're working on a documentary about your life? >> they've been doing that for, like -- they started that when i went back to host "saturday night live." so how long's that been, three years? >> jimmy: i'm surprised that you went along with that. who talked you into that? who convinced you that would be a good idea? >> it was my idea. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was your idea. >> no, no. it's just been so -- i've been doing this for so long. it was like, "kind of tell what happened." >> jimmy: yeah, believe me, i'm excited, we're all very excited about it. [ cheers and applause ] you just seem like a very private guy. and the idea of cameras being there around you -- >> it's a great way to tell -- "this is what happened." so many different stories "this is what really happened."
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"that happened." setting the record straight and all that stuff. >> jimmy: will this be in the documentary? like our conversation right now? because i'd like to be in it. >> if we have, like, an amazing moment. >> jimmy: let's have an amazing moment. [ cheers and applause ] okay. okay. did you at one time get snowed in at rick james' house in buffalo? >> yes. >> jimmy: and how long were you there? >> we were snowed in for two weeks. supposed to go up for the weekend. supposed to -- i went up there to record "party all the time." >> jimmy: uh-huh, wow. [ cheers and applause ] and that song -- it still has resonance. i mean, because -- >> they did -- they cut it over again. what's the dj khaled and those damigo dudes? "party all the time" recently. >> jimmy: did you get a check from that? >> no, i didn't write that song. rick's people, rick's estate. >> jimmy: gotcha, okay. you're in rick's house for two weeks, which seems like too long. [ laughter ]
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>> no, it was the -- maybe the most fun i ever had. >> jimmy: for real? >> supposed to go there for one weekend, and we got snowed in in buffalo. sometimes five feet of snow. was stuck in rick james' house for two weeks. and it was one of my fondest memories. >> jimmy: are you sure it was snow outside rick's house? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> rick never did that around me because i wasn't into it. you know. >> jimmy: he had the respect for you? >> well, people that do that don't do it around people that don't do it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's not like weed. people that do that all go off into a room, they all do that. >> jimmy: yeah, you open a bathroom stall, there's two guys in there. >> you don't do it, you don't go in there. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back, we're going to see a clip from eddie's very funny new movie. it's called "you people." eddie murphy is here with us.
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oh, hey, what's up, hey? >> what's going on? >> i'm all right. >> you got me? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. you and -- you and your pigment-challenged friend have a seat. i've got to beat it. get this gorilla glue. >> waited too long. >> you don't have a problem getting lined up here, do you? >> yeah, i'm chill. this place is dope. >> that's right. >> although there appears to be a dress code that i wasn't informed of. >> great, it will do you good. >> hey, what's up with white cuz? >> am i white cuz?
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>> well, i'm not. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: eddie murphy and jonah hill in "you people." premiering friday on netflix. what a great idea. jonah plays a white guy who is a jewish guy who wants to marry your daughter. and you're not crazy about this idea at all. >> yeah. i'm like -- i'm this muslim dude who's not having it. >> jimmy: at all? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's why i -- i thought jonah hill and kenya barris wrote the movie. i read the script, oh, i have to do this. i just thought it was a really hip way -- kind of like a modern "guess who's coming to dinner." because most romantic comedies don't have a little edge to them. this had a little edge. >> jimmy: there's definitely an edge. >> like a "guess who's coming to roscoe's." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: literally in this case. julia louis-dreyfus plays jonah's mom.
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she's super funny. >> she's wonderful. >> jimmy: as the -- in fact, she was here last night. and she -- we were talking about this picture. >> my god. >> jimmy: this is from 1982. [ cheers ] you guys with robert blake. >> my god. >> jimmy: and you're playing buckwheat, she's darla, "little rascals." robert blake was in "little rascals." >> one of the original little rascals, yeah. >> jimmy: i heard he got banned from "saturday night live" after this show? >> i heard that too, but i don't know what for, i don't know wha >> jimmy: oh. >> it was so long ago. >> jimmy: yeah. you don't keep in touch? >> no, no. [ laughter ] what did they say he got banned for? >> jimmy: i don't know, i have no idea, i'm trying to get to the bottom of it. julia didn't remember either. i don't know. he's done some things, you know. [ laughter ] maybe it was that belt that got him banned, i'm not sure. do you still have, like, the buckwheat wig or the gumby suit? do you save any of that stuff?
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>> no. >> jimmy: none of that stuff, huh? what how about your entourage, how many were in your entourage at its height? >> my entourage? >> jimmy: yeah, ray ray, fruity -- >> ray ray, yes. >> jimmy: ray ray's still here? wow. [ cheers and applause ] has ray ray been in that corner all along? >> all along. >> jimmy: you brought him with you? >> ray ray's my cousin. yeah, used to have ray ray, fruity, my brother. maybe -- maybe six, seven people. >> jimmy: how'd you weed them out? like over the years? did you get rid of a lot of them at once? or was it one at a time? >> you know, as you get older, your circle gets smaller and smaller. and it's usually their fault why they wind up out of the circle. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i see. they eliminate themselves.
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>> yeah, they eliminate themselves. and only ray remains. >> jimmy: only ray ray remains. [ cheers and applause ] ray-mains. who is -- you obviously are one of the funniest people in the world. who is, to you, the most naturally funny person you've ever encountered? >> redd foxx. >> jimmy: redd foxx, that's a great answer. [ applause ] that's a great answer. >> redd foxx, without even trying. without even trying, just naturally funny. just everything that came out of his mouth was funny. >> jimmy: he had a monkey too, right? >> i never met his monkey. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> but he was -- so actually, redd foxx actually died on a show i was producing. >> jimmy: oh, congrats. [ laughter ] i mean -- >> no -- >> jimmy: what? >> what was the name of the show? "the royal family." >> jimmy: oh, right. >> he had a heart attack on the show. that's how funny he was, they thought he ws joking. >> jimmy: oh, he had a heart attack --
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>> everybody was like, "stop joking." >> jimmy: yeah. boy, how ironic, after all those years. the big one, he had a heart attack. yeah, he was fun. "saned for and sons" was one of my all-time favorites. >> i tracked that truck down a couple of years ago, i went to buy that truck, they went crazy. "i'm not paying for that." >> jimmy: you had the painting from the beginning of "good times." >> i have that painting now, the sugar shack. >> jimmy: i thought you sold that painting. >> no, no, no. the duplicate of that painting. ernie barns, who painted the original, painted the duplicate. and the duplicate just sold at christie's. >> jimmy: for like over $1 million? >> $16 million. >> jimmy: $16 million? >> for the duplicate. >> jimmy: you had the real one? >> i have the real one. >> jimmy: oh, boy. [ cheers and applause ] i hope the house is locked up. >> you know, i paid -- i paid -- i think i paid $50,000 for that
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picture. >> jimmy: wow. >> from marvin -- after marvin gaye passed away, i bought it from his estate. yeah. >> jimmy: so you're rich, then. [ laughter ] >> i got -- i got that paper. >> jimmy: i got to tell you, it's like a gift to all of us every time you're in something. you also just shot "beverly hills cop 4" which is unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] >> that was a hard one. >> jimmy: thanks for coming out of your house. hey, i heard you never go to arsenio's house, is that true? >> i've never been to his house. >> jimmy: never been to arsenio's house? >> once in 40 years. >> jimmy: how many times has he been to your house? just a random guess. >> he was at the house the other day. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thousands of times? >> thousands of times. he's very mysterious. actually call him mysterio. >> jimmy: he's mysterious? he doesn't want you at his house? >> mysterious. arsenio pops up. then you'll be like, he's around, then "where'd arsenio go?" he left, didn't say good-bye. pops in, pops out. very mysterious. >> jimmy: on the way home, stop by, pound on the door, give him a real scare. >> i don't know where his house
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is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: eddie murphy. "you people" premieres friday. be right back with d'arcy carden. when moderate to severe ulcerative colitis persists... put it in check with rinvoq, a once-daily pill. when uc got unpredictable,... i got rapid symptom relief with rinvoq. check. when uc held me back... i got lasting, steroid-free remission with rinvoq. check. and when uc got the upper hand...
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>> lou: tomorrow, be sure to watch the "jimmy kimmel live" 20th anniversary with guests george clooney, snoop dogg, and music from coldplay in primetime, 10/9 central, and again at late night at our regular time. did you know google makes a phone? do you know about its camera? like the way it fixes blurry photos. magically erases annoying distractions and even fixes photos taken with your old phone. so now that you know google makes a phone, you know what you are missing. introducing the google pixel 7,
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the only phone engineered by google. what's with the double mcnuggets? oh this one's my backup, in case something happens to the first one. [crunch] mmm. see. get one favorite like 10 piece chicken mcnuggets and get another for just a buck, right now at mcdonald's. kids. they're just different than us. they have no inhibitions, consider silverware optional, and can find fun anywhere. when kids get really sick, they're different than us too. that's why the leukemia & lymphoma society is introducing the dare to dream project. with the largest global clinical trial for kids with blood cancer, it'll be the biggest medical advancement for little patients in history. to help transform treatment and care for kids and support all the work we do, donate now at
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(vo) red lobster's finer points of fun dining: at lobsterfest, whether you're a sea-foodie or a lobster newbie, there's something for everyone. try one of six dishes, like new lobster and shrimp tacos for $17.99. and leave completely lobsessed. welcome to fun dining. you go by lots of titles. veteran, dad, hair stylist. so adding a "student" title might feel daunting. national university is here to support all your titles. national university. supporting the whole you.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. music from hailey whitters is on the way. our next guest is another very funny person. you know her from "the good place," "barry," a league of their own." her new action comedy starring jennifer lopez is called "shotgun wedding." it premieres friday on amazon prime video. say hello to d'arcy carden! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: well, it is very good to have you here. >> hi. >> jimmy: how are you? >> good. happy birthday. >> guillermo: thank you very much, thank you. >> never mind, never mind, take it back. >> jimmy: it's two nights from now -- >> take it back. nope, nope. truly, truly. hi. >> jimmy: you don't want him to get any older any faster. how are you? happy birthday to you, whenever it is.
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>> thank you. honestly, it wasn't that long ago, so thank you. happy damn 20th to you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. >> tomorrow? >> jimmy: tomorrow, yeah. >> 20 is wild. >> jimmy: 20's a long time. >> 10 is cool. 10 is like, wow, 10. 20 is like, what the hell am i doing? >> jimmy: you're totally right. like millie bobby brown hadn't even been conceived. >> not even thought of, not a glimmer, i know. it's weird. congratulations. >> jimmy: congratulations to you. thank you on -- this movie's very funny. >> it's funny. >> jimmy: normally, i told j. lo when she was here, i'm wary of movies that have "wedding" in the title. >> me too, i get that. >> jimmy: there are some good ones -- this is a good one, a funny one. >> this is good. >> jimmy: the cast seems like not just funny on the screen, seems like a very fun group of people to hang out with. >> my god, it was so fun. it really was so fun. any big ensemble comedy going to be fun, but this was like -- >> jimmy: you've got lenny kravitz. >> yeah, i guess we do. >> jimmy: cheech marin.
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>> that's right. >> jimmy: you've got, of course, jennifer lopez. >> jennifer lopez, josh duhamel, sonia braga, jennifer coolidge. >> jimmy: jennifer coolidge who is nonstop funny all the time, right? >> she really is nonstop funny all the time. although she's like -- you know, she's a little different than she is -- like publicly. she's really an observer. she's, like, really smart. she's really always, like, ahead of the joke. she kind of plays kooky, but man oh man, she's -- she's a damn genius. >> jimmy: what would she do? can you remember an instance? >> yeah, i can. the thing with coolidge is, like -- any story i could tell you would be dirty. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> i'm going to attempt to -- >> jimmy: don't hold back, yeah. >> she -- she -- one thing i love about her, she, like, tells these long stories that you're totally enthralled in, that end in, like, a twist. which proves how, like, ahead of the joke she is.
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i remember one day hearing -- she was talking about her kids. and i was like, i know her, i know she doesn't have kids. but believing her. she's so -- she's telling you the truth. then at the end she was just sort of like, "but i didn't like the look of them so i got rid of them." [ laughter ] but i believed every second of it until that. that is her. she takes you on a ride and you're like, wow. then she twists it at the end. she's rad. i love her. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, for sure. and lenny kravitz is like -- >> leonard. >> jimmy: you call him leonard? >> leonard, yes. >> jimmy: is that his real name, leonard? >> i don't know. [ laughter ] but i do call him that. and he likes it. >> jimmy: he arrived in a helicopter the other night. >> he did. >> jimmy: in the movie he arrives in a helicopter. >> i'm hoping he does it again tonight. >> jimmy: that seems very lenny kravitz to me. >> yes, it is. he is perfectly cast. i cannot wait for you guys to see this movie. he plays j. lo's ex-boyfriend. he flies into her wedding in a
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helicopter. here's something, like, i should tell you guys. when we were in the dominican republic filming this movie, the actors all lived together in a house. we lived together in a house. often you're put up in your own house or a hotel. we lived together in a house. >> jimmy: how many people? >> like, nine of us. >> jimmy: who was in the house? >> we're talking lenny, we're talking sonia braga, we're talking coolidge, selena, cheech. i mean, j. lo -- j. lo was down the beach in, like, a castle. [ laughter ] as she should be. >> jimmy: sure. >> she's the king. as she should be. but you know, we ate all our meals together, we spent our weekends together. >> jimmy: wow. >> it was like -- like weirdo actor -- like luxury summer camp. >> jimmy: have you seen a cheech and chong movie? or are you too young for that? >> i am so young. [ laughter ] no, i have. in fact, one thing that we would do in this house is on the weekends we would, like, screen each other's movies. >> jimmy: you would?
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>> yes. and we would then -- steve culture, who plays jennifer coolidge's husband, he would lead a q&a with the actor. >> jimmy: he was funny, by the way. >> he's, like, the funniest. we did screen "up in smoke." >> jimmy: you did with cheech? >> we had a chef that would make all of our meals. he gave the chef the night off, made tacos for us. and maybe -- i don't remember, but we may have -- >> jimmy: oh, wow. [ laughter ] that's pretty solid. wow. you had clothespins? >> yeah, we -- yeah. >> jimmy: then there was a q&a with cheech afterwards. >> yeah, yeah, it was great. >> jimmy: did he give you insight or was everybody too baked? >> maybe we were. all of a sudden it was like, "what did he say?" [ laughter ] it was fun to sort of ask about the different actors. that was such a wild time in his life. he's made a million movies. i got, like -- the ensemble is -- there's, like, legends in this. >> jimmy: yeah, no kidding, sure.
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>> to get one thing that was like i thought so cute, lenny really geeked out. leonard really geeked out about cheech. >> jimmy: he did, yeah. right age, sure. >> right age. apparently lenny went to high school with -- i almost said shrek. [ laughter ] slash from guns n' roses. >> jimmy: yeah, different guys. >> yeah. different guys. >> jimmy: that would be cool if shrek was in guns n' roses. >> make it happen, internet. and they would cut school and go watch cheech and chong movies. lenny geeked out on cheech the entire movie. it was really cute, it was great, it was cool. >> jimmy: that's pretty crazy. i didn't know they were schoolmates. what kind of crazy rock 'n' roll high school was this? >> i feel like it was in l.a. >> jimmy: what's going on with "barry"? when is season four -- >> don't you dare. don't ask me anything about that. i got a text today, "don't say a damn word." >> jimmy: he said that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: interesting.
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>> what has henry said on the show? season four is happening? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's shot already, i know that. >> yeah. i'll tell you later. >> jimmy: okay. all right. we were just wanting to know when it comes on. >> i do too. soon this year. the year 2023. >> jimmy: what if you guys never tell anyone? >> yeah, you're like, "what are you doing here?" >> jimmy: release it in secret and somebody that is to find it. >> exactly. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. congrats on all your many triumphs. >> it's so good to see you too. >> jimmy: the movie is called "shotgun wedding." it premieres friday on amazon prime video. "barry" will come back eventually, though we can't say anything about it. d'arcy carden, everybody. be right back with hailey whitters! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by the "s" class from mercedes-benz.
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>> lou: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the all-electric mercedes-be>> concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the all-electric mercedes-benz lineup is here. >> jimmy: many thanks to eddie murphy and d'arcy carden. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time with him. "nightline" is next. first, this is her album "raised." making her television debut with
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the song "everything she ate," hailey whitters! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ she ain't a peach you ought to be picking ♪ ♪ she ain't the cup of tea you ought to be sipping ♪ ♪ she treats you like you're broke like you need fixing ♪ ♪ you ain't getting nothing back for all that you're giving ♪ ♪ if you're good with who you're kissing c'est la vie ♪ ♪ but i can show you what you're missing ♪ ♪ the whiskey in your soda the lime to your corona ♪ ♪ shotgun in your tacoma the audrey to your hank ♪ ♪ she's got a little style and a hollywood smile ♪ ♪ but believe me honey good as money in the bank ♪ ♪ i'm everything she is and everything she ain't ♪ ♪
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♪ she sees diamonds but i'm seeing stars ♪ ♪ you should leave her on an island dance with me in this bar ♪ ♪ honey there's plenty of fish in the sea ♪ ♪ but if you take a second look you'll see there's only one of me ♪ ♪ the whiskey in your soda the lime to your crone yeah ♪ ♪ shotgun in your tacoma the audrey to your hank ♪ ♪ she's got a little style and a hollywood smile but believe me honey good as money in the bank ♪ ♪ i'm everything she is and everything she ain't ♪ ♪ ♪ she's all wrong for you i'm just the girl next door ♪
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♪ you know is right as rain ♪ ♪ the whiskey in your soda the lime to your corona ♪ ♪ shotgun in your tacoma the audrey to your hank ♪ ♪ she's got a little style and a hollywood smile ♪ ♪ but believe me honey good as money in the bank ♪ ♪ i'm everything she is and everything she ain't ♪ ♪ yeah i'm everything she is and everything she ain't ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, under surveillance. your face caught on camera and the information it may hold. >> it is very dystopian. it is very 1984-ish. it's clearly not what it was originally intended. it's frightening. >> facial recognition being used to ban people from a new york sports arena. >> the ticket has been revoked and you are not permitted in the building. >> why the state attorney general is now involved. the ethical and legal questions. >> it's immoral. it's unethical. it smacks of tyrannical behavior. >> could this happen to you? nikole hannah-jones.


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