tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC July 20, 2010 11:35pm-12:35am PST
-- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow. i come out here, and -- hey! how you guys feeling? you feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome, welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. let's get right
to the news. yesterday president obama thanked the wnba champions, the phoenix mercury, for showing his daughters that they can be athletic and still be attractive. and then michelle obama said -- [ clears throat ] [ laughter ] at a campaign event yesterday, joe biden called nancy pelosi the mother of health care. and i guess pelosi's tackling other problems, too, because biden also called her "the milf of the oil spill-f." [ laughter ] spill-f a word? >> steve: it must be. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: spill-f is a word?
>> steve: the vice president said it, it must be. >> jimmy: all right. did you guys hear this? lindsay lohan's lawyer, robert shapiro, who was famous for representing o.j. simpson -- he quit just a few hours before she went to jail. [ light laughter ] that's gotta sting when your lawyer goes, "i can't handle you anymore. why can't you be more like o.j. simpson?" [ laughter and applause ] "just too much for me." this is an amazing story. a black couple in britain just had a white baby girl with blond hair and blue eyes. the father called the baby "simply unexplainable." [ laughter ] while the mother called the father, "unbelievably gullible." [ laughter and applause ] this kind of thing is actually more common than you think, according to the couple's white friend. [ laughter ] "this happens all the time, absolutely!" [ laughter ]
i just heard about this. a school in massachusetts is facing criticism for sending kids home with fat report cards that alert their parents to obesity issues. that's got to be confusing. "well, gary, the good news is you got an 'a.' the bad news is it's between an 'f' and a 't.'" [ laughter ] "you're fat, gary! you're fat! now get to your room! here's a snickers bar. get out of here! you're fat, gary! get over here, gary. i love you." [ laughter ] hey, you guys, jwoww, from "jersey shore," is in the august issue of "maxim" wearing a bikini. well, yeah. the only other way you can see her in a bikini is if you have a tv or eyeballs. [ laughter ] this is kind of weird. a lot of city governments across
the country are renting police officers to save money. that doesn't sound like a city government. that sounds like a bachelorette party. [ laughter ] "hey, you girls are under arrest -- ♪ -- for being hot!" [ cheers ] "you got the right to remain horny." [ laughter ] ♪ "everything i have will be held against you in court." [ laughter ] ♪ i can't believe this. the police were called in in texas yesterday when a low flying plane dropped duffle bags with marijuana on several houses. wait, when someone drops a bag of weed on your house, you don't call the cops. you call papa john's. [ laughter ] "yo, dude, it's a party!"
that's right, duffle bags full of marijuana were dropped on houses by a plane. that must have been weird for anyone who was already high. [ laughter ] "dude, i may be stoned right now, but i'm pretty sure god just totally hooked us up." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] video game players? anyone play video games out there? [ cheers ] nintendo wii is going to release a "glee" version of karaoke revolution that will let you interact with music and characters from the show. it also has a feature where, if one your friends walks into the room, it turns into "call of duty." [ laughter ] "uh, kill them. kill them. murder them. you guys in the fox hole! you have to get in the tank." [ laughter ]
do the same dance as the stripper. [ laughter ] i can't think of another one. [ light laughter ] i also heard that f. scott fitzgerald's novel "the great gatsby" is being turned into a video game. you can tell the video game is about "the great gatsby," because no one will ever really play it, but still claim it's one of their favorites on facebook. [ laughter ] speaking of facebook, there is a new computer program that can delete all mentions of your ex from your facebook page. yeah, the program is called, "your new girlfriend." [ laughter ] "you are not talking to her. you are not friends with her!" [ laughter ] "there is no way this is happening!" [ light laughter ] i don't know what girl talks like that. [ light laughter ] and finally, i don't even know what to make of this. a man in iowa was arrested and taken to jail after he punched another man who refused to hug him. [ laughter ] confusing.
on the bright side, once he got to jail, he got more than his share of hugs. [ laughter ] [ audience groans ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: what a great show for you guys tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so good. but first, i want you to take a look at a clip from a show that we did last month. this is an audience member named monique from brooklyn, new york, playing a game on our show called "cell phone shootout." take a look. >> jimmy: you're the last one. let's see what you got here, pal. running sneakers. >> steve: whoa! you have won a chance to run in the missoula marathon in missoula, montana. [ cheers and applause ] the missoula marathon begins west of town, passes through missoula's picturesque neighborhoods, ending at the finish line on higgins bridge, downtown above the clark fork river.
we'll do the hard part, signing you up and paying the entrance fee. [ laughter ] all you have to do is show up in missoula, montana, on july 11th and run 26.2 miles. jimmy? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know how good you are at reading faces, but i think it's safe to say that she is not super-psyched about winning that great prize. [ laughter ] why would she not be excited? we paid her $20 to register for the marathon. [ laughter ] now all she has to do is fly herself there and run 26 miles. what's the big deal? it's a great prize. let's see that reaction one more time. [ laughter ] so, we were really surprised to find out that the people at the missoula marathon flew her out and treated her like a celebrity, which is awesome. here's the cell phone shot of monique arriving in a hummer limousine. [ laughter ] and here she is walking the race with her dad. how awesome is that? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic. she went and did it.
a 26-mile marathon. you're probably wondering how she did. she came in 2,297th. [ laughter ] congratulations, monique. and thank you to everyone out at the missoula marathon for being so cool. [ cheers and applause ] that's an awesome story. that's so cool. congrats, monique. we've got a fantastic show. a really funny guy, a really good friend of mine, zach braff is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i like this guy. from "flight of the concords" and the new film "dinner for schmucks," jemaine clement is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] he's a funny guy, too. and i'm excited about our musical guests tonight. oh, our musical guest is very cool. crowded house is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey now hey now don't dream it's over ♪ ♪ hey now hey now when the world comes in ♪ ♪ they come they come to build a wall between us ♪
anyways, they are not playing that song. [ laughter ] but they are the group that sang that song. >> steve: that one? ♪ it'll carry us away something so strong it'll carry us away ♪ they're not doing that song either, no. [ laughter ] but they are doing a new song. they've got a new album. >> steve: all right. >> jimmy: and it's gonna be good. [ cheers and applause ] and i think, for the web, they're gonna do a bonus song for us. >> steve: which song? >> jimmy: i'm not telling. >> steve: what?! >> jimmy: it's very exciting. you got to go to the web and find out. >> steve: okay. [ steve laughs strangely ] [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's one of those deals. is that your new laugh? >> steve: that's my "wipe out" laugh. yeah. [ laughs strangely again ] ♪ [ "wipe out" drum solo ] >> jimmy: okay, yeah. ladies and gentlemen, time for "pros and cons." here they are. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: this is where we take a look at the stories and issues making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. tonight's topic, "summer camp." a lot of kids are going off to camp right now. all right, let's take a look at the "pros and cons" of summer camp. pro, for city kids, summer camp
can provide them with something they could never get at home. con, most likely lyme disease. [ laughter ] you don't want that. >> steve: that is a con. >> jimmy: that is a con. pro, you can go for a day, a few weeks or for the whole summer. con, depending on how much your parents hate you. [ laughter ] "you're fat, gary." [ laughter ] "you're going to camp!" poor gary. >> steve: gary, you know what? gary's got issues. >> jimmy: yeah. his parents have issues. gary's fine. [ light laughter ] pro, you can sit around the camp fire and tell scary stories. con, or just play mel gibson rants on your laptop. [ laughter ] that's scary. >> steve: you can do that. that is scary. >> jimmy: pro, you wake up in the morning and hear birds chirping. con, you go to bed at night and hear your bunkmates jerking. [ audience groans ] [ scattered applause ]
>> steve: wait, what? >> jimmy: anybody see my calamine lotion? >> steve: gary's got it. [ laughter ] like gilligan and skipper. >> jimmy: pro, it's okay to cry if you are homesick. that's nothing to be ashamed about. con, until somebody puts it on youtube. then you're done. [ laughter ] don't even bother going back to school then. pro, summer camp is a chance to get away from your parents for weeks. con, while you are gone, they're totally gonna do it in every room in the house, including yours. [ laughter ] pro, you can watch classic movies about summer camp, like "poison ivy" and "meatballs." con, you can pee in the woods and totally get poison ivy on your meatballs. [ laughter ] that could ruin a summer. >> steve: that could. >> jimmy: pro, you can get in shape by hiking in the woods. con, or running for your live from an ax murderer in a hockey mask. [ laughter ]
i've seen those movies. and finally, pro, your scoutmaster warned you about a big hairy bear that might attack your tent at night. [ audience groans ] >> steve: what could it possibly be? what's the con? what could be con about that? 'cause he warned you. the guy clearly said it would be a big, hairy bear. it will attack you in your tent at night. >> jimmy: that is a pro. >> steve: the guy told you. that's a pro. >> jimmy: i don't know what the con could be. oh, here it is. con, he was talking about himself. >> steve: what!? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go. that's our "pros and cons," everybody. we'll be right back with "mel gibson karaoke." check it out. come on back. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons ♪ ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons ♪ ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons ♪ ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons ♪ sounds terrific. cars built for the autobahn. actually, we're both pretty conservative drivers. ooh! shoot the gap. shoot the gap! whoo! so, they all come with carefree maintenance? yep, scheduled maintenance is included.
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who's cheryl? i have no idea. she just looks like a cheryl. yo cheryl! [ male announcer ] don't forget the mike's. lemonade for grownups. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, welcome back, everybody. and thank you so much for watching at home. i appreciate it. hey, by now i'm sure you've all heard the mel gibson audio tapes that have been all over the internet lately. right, have you heard them? [ scattered cheers ] like, screaming, arguing on the phone with his ex-girlfriend. it's crazy stuff, frightening. but if there is one bright side to this whole fiasco, it's the new game we are about to play. that's right, it's time for "mel gibson karaoke." [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ mel gibson karaoke time ♪ >> jimmy: welcome to "mel gibson karaoke," where we combine the beautiful music of the roots with the equally beautiful words of actor and oscar-winning director mel gibson. [ scattered cheers ] these are words taken from his recent phone recorded rantings. higgins, who is on the mic tonight? >> steve: well, jimmy, coming to the stage are kayla, chris, and lonnie. come out here for some "mel gibson karaoke." "mel gibson karaoke" is a registered trademark of the jimmy fallon corporation. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for coming to the mel gibson karaoke club tonight. hey, what's your name? >> my name is kayla. >> jimmy: kayla, nice to meet you. >> chris. >> jimmy: chris. >> lonnie. >> jimmy: and lonnie. very, very good. all right, rockin'. here's how we play. you will each stand with your back to the sharp 108 and sing the words you see on the monitor in front of you. the actual words of a very angry mel gibson. [ light laughter ]
and trust me, this is the tame stuff. okay? they will change from white to yellow to help you follow along, just like real karaoke, okay? at the end, we will decide the winner based on audience applause. steve, tell us what tonight's winner will be taking home. >> steve: well, jimmy. ♪ tonight's winner will receive a brand-new gpx karaoke system. sing along to your favorite songs and follow the lyrics on the built-in monitor. bust this out at your next dinner party or family function, people won't know what the hell is going on. it includes a microphone and a.v. cable. jimmy!? >> jimmy: these things cost a lot of money, by the way. at least that's what they told us on "antiques road show." [ laughter ] okay, let's get started. contestant number one, you are up. >> okay. >> jimmy: now, look, you can sing however you want, just as long as you are singing and not talking. >> okay. >> jimmy: yeah. and your mel gibson song tonight is a love ballad. it's off some of his earlier audio tapes. it's called "i need a woman." [ laughter ] sounds romantic. >> it's going to be, i'm sure. and i'm performing with the roots. so, it doesn't get better than that. >> jimmy: here you go. take your mic.
whenever you're ready. [ laughter ] ready, roots? whenever you're ready. ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: beautiful, beautiful job. thank you so much. you can stand over there. beautiful job. one of my favorite songs. outrageous! okay, contestant two, you are up next.
your song is off mel's fifth tape. it's called -- yeah, i can't say that. [ laughter ] okay, but you can sing it. once again, these are all words mel actually said to his girlfriend on these recordings. okay, here's your mic. good luck, my man. >> appreciate it. >> jimmy: whenever you're ready. ♪ ♪ ♪
>> jimmy: nice. one of my favorites. great job. outrageous! okay, last up is contestant three. you have a great one here. it's off of mel's fourth, and some say his best, tape. [ ughter ] it's a lovely song. it's called, "the answer's bleeping in the wind." [ laughter ] not "blowing," "bleeping." [ light laughter ] there it is. okay, do justice to mel's words. >> right. [ light laughter ] ♪ ♪
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is what i'm talking about. thank you so much. great, great job. outrageous! okay, good job, everybody. audience, your applause will now determine our winner. is it contestant number one? [ cheers and applause ] contestant number two? [ cheers and applause ] contestant number three? [ cheers and applause ] the winner is contestant
number two! ♪ congratulations. you won the karaoke machine. that is unbelievable. yes, guys, you did not win, but here are some "late night with jimmy fallon eff off" t-shirts. [ laughter ] as a parting gift. there you go. one for you. oh, yeah, these are great. you can wear these to functions, everything. [ laughter ] thanks to everyone for playing "mel gibson karaoke." [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with zach braff. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ mel gibson karaoke mel mel gibson karaoke time ♪ arby's has a new jr. deluxe,
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>> jimmy: good man. >> hi! wow, you -- the roots! >> jimmy: there they are. the roots, right there. the greatest, the greatest. >> this is my first time on your big fancy show. thank you for having me. >> jimmy: thank you for coming on. i'm psyched that you're here. you're kind of a new yorker. >> i grew up in south orange, new jersey. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> jimmy: well, you made that great movie, "garden state." >> thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it was very good. >> i feel this weird ambassadorship because i made "garden state," and now i feel like i have to defend new jersey all the time, all over the place. no thanks to snooki, who is, like, messing everything up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, she's kind of giving -- >> she really bad for jersey, snooki. >> jimmy: but the jersey shore is beautiful place. >> jersey shore is beautiful. and every time i talk about jersey shore, people are like, "oh, snooki." and i want people to know that you can -- america, you can go to the jersey shore and you will not get punched in the face. [ laughter ] i mean, most likely. >> jimmy: some people will, yeah. >> man or woman.
everyone gets punched in the face on that show, especially snooki. >> jimmy: i can't believe that. >> it's upsetting. >> jimmy: they're coming back. they're coming back, like, this week or next week. >> i can't wait to see their abs. [ laughter ] it's bad for new jersey. new jersey is a beautiful place. >> jimmy: i love new jersey. i got my start in a comedy club in new jersey. they had two clubs, one in poughkeepsie and one in new jersey called bananas. so, if you're ever in new jersey, go to bananas. it's a great comedy club. >> there you go. >> jimmy: yeah, i forget where in new jersey. >> i don't know. i've heard of it, but i haven't been there. >> jimmy: i want to say hackensack without making that up. >> sure. >> jimmy: yeah. they have a lot of weird names, don't they? >> they're a lot of -- they're some indian names. >> jimmy: ho-ho-kus? >> they were here first, so they named the place. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. they are allowed to do that. >> ho-ho-kus! >> jimmy: that's what we got to call it, yeah. but a lot of people know you from "scrubs." but you've been working for a long while. i mean, you started before that. >> yeah, i started as a kid. i was trying to get work as an actor as a child. my first big thing was in a movie called "manhattan murder mystery" with woody allen. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! >> yeah, it was really cool. >> jimmy: that's amazing. >> yeah, it was kind of
terrifying. i'm just barely in the movie now. if you watch it, i'm on for, like, one scene. and if you look at my face, i look like i'm completely terrified, because i was. i was 18 years old. it was woody allen, diane keaton, anjelica huston. and i don't know. i was very, very nervous. >> jimmy: that would be like you made it. >> yeah, it was like my hero. and i memorized my lines perfectly. and right before we're about to go, and he's like, "we're not going to say anything that's on the page." [ laughter ] i do it a pretty bad woody allen impression. but anyway. >> jimmy: that's not bad. >> and i was like, "really?" so, they just started improving, and i'm trying to get a word in edgewise. and here i am trying to get woody allen back on script. i'm like, "come on, man. those lines aren't in the scene." i was a mess. i couldn't improv alongside woody and diane keaton. >> jimmy: no, you can't do that. you were telling me backstage your character's name was nick? >> yeah. so, he comes up to me and, you know, i cherish any time he would talk to me.
you know, he's a hero of mine. and he comes up to me and he's like, "you know why i named your character nick?" and i'm thinking, "oh, my god. i'm a filmmaker, i'm an actor. i'm about to get a little piece of advice. i'm going to remember, why does he name the characters what he names them." and he goes, "do you know why i named your character nick?" and i said, "no." he goes, "easy to type." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: classic woody allen. that is so classic woody allen. "easy to type." [ applause ] you also, before that even, you worked on music videos. right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: as a production assistant? >> i did everything. i wanted to make movies, so i worked production assistant on music videos, commercials and stuff. i worked on a mariah carey music video. i worked on -- >> jimmy: are they fun, to do those music videos? >> no, they're chaos. everything always seems like it comes together at the last second. they're like, "mariah's in town. we're making the video tonight." and it's so funny because i was fresh out of film school. so i took it on me to be so anxious. you know, i was a p.a. i was, like, carrying stuff. but i personally got so anxious. i was like, "we're not going to be ready for mariah!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was helpful.
>> i was so nervous. meanwhile, everyone else was like, "yeah, we'll be all right. don't worry." but i'm freaking out, and i took my job very seriously. >> jimmy: you did a video with sting. >> well, sting and pras. it was the puffy remix of "roxanne." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the classic. it was a classic. >> you all know that classic. [ laughter ] i remember my biggest responsibility ever, i had to make a wax seal for an envelope that was in the video. and i was, like, sweating. i'm like, "am i doing it right? i don't want to let sting and pras down." >> jimmy: whose envelope was it? >> i don't know. sting and pras somehow handed each other an envelope in the video. i don't know. but the wax seals were my work. >> jimmy: is that right? [ applause ] we have a clip of your beautiful work. >> did you really get a clip? you're going to see my first work as a filmmaker, making this wax seal. >> jimmy: zach braff's wax sea
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. i'm sitting here with zach braff, right here. he's in a new play right here. it's called "trust." "trust" is the play, right here. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you're in new york for how long? look at your picture here. you look very smoldering. >> well, it's a little bit of a naughty play. so this kind of implies that there's some naughtiness going to happen. [ light laughter ] you don't want to bring the kids to this one. it's a slightly risque production. >> jimmy: oh, it is? >> yeah. >> jimmy: so, it's not like "little mermaid"? >> i think you even have to be, like, 16 to get in or something. i don't know. >> jimmy: what is it about? >> you know, there is sexual themes, if you will. [ cheers ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a fan of sexual themes. >> you're too young to yell "woo" at sexual themes. [ laughter ] she's like, "i'm 21! i can yell 'woo'"! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so what is it about? >> it's about -- the play is really hard to describe because i don't want to -- a lot of it unfolds, and i don't want to ruin too much. but at its very core, it's about a guy who makes a ton of money with his internet company.
he makes, like, $303 million, and then is completely lost with what to do with the rest of his life. and so, he stumbles into an s&m parlor to see what that's like. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: just stumbles in, yeah. >> and he chooses to go to the parlor because he's looking for something crazy and new. and then the play is what happens after he makes the decision to go. it's a comedy, but it's kind of a sexy, dark comedy. >> jimmy: that's good. and it's written by? >> paul weitz. >> jimmy: paul weitz. >> he's a really amazing writer. >> jimmy: have you done plays before? >> the funny thing is i've done three shakespearean plays. this is my first contemporary play. and it's actually easier, i find, to memorize shakespeare because it's lyrical and it's poetry. you know, it's like memorizing lyrics to a song. >> jimmy: yeah. >> this is -- you know, the way paul writes is the way we all really talk. like, "um," and "you know, i mean --" so there's those -- "ums" and "uhs," and that's really, really hard to get perfectly because they want you to do it perfectly. >> jimmy: because you say, "like, um and then --" >> yeah, there's a girl on the crew, her name is ashley, and
she's in charge of making sure we say it perfectly. so, she's like, "if you get it perfect, i'll give you a sticker." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on! >> at first, i'm like, "i'm 35 years old. i don't want an f-ing sticker." [ laughter ] and then i found myself, like, competitive. like, "i've got to get a sticker." [ laughter ] she gives me, like, this little, "great job" sticker and puts it on my hand. and i'm so excited about getting these stickers. and i did one, and i was like, "i think i did it perfectly." i looked at her. i was like, "sticker?" and she's like, "you disgust me." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "you disgust me." well, if you want to see zach braff nail his lines, go to the second stage theatre. it starts july 23rd. "trust." there he is, zach braff. jemaine clement joins us next. come back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ meg whitman ] if we could only do one thing, putting people back to work
would be the most important thing. the human cost of 2 million californians out of work is devastating, and i think, often, politicians forget about that because they don't see it every day. i see it every day. i think raising taxes on californians today is absolutely the wrong thing to do. we have to streamline regulations, we have to cut taxes for businesses, and then we have to stand up and compete. california needs to lead the nation again, and i think we can do it.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. you know our next guest as half of the grammy-winning, fourth most-popular folk-parody duo from new zealand, flight of the concords. [ cheers ] starting friday, july 30th, you can see him opposite steve carell and paul rudd in the movie "dinner for schmucks." say hello to jemaine clement, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> jimmy: jemaine, how are you, my friend? >> i'm well. >> jimmy: very nice to see you. >> why have you brought me here? >> jimmy: i have brought you here to ask you questions. >> all right. >> jimmy: yeah, uh -- >> you realize that i'm the guy at the party that people try and think of a way to get away from after a few questions. [ light laughter ] they ask me a few questions, and they're like, "i'm going to go get a drink." >> jimmy: yeah, well, that's what we do here. >> okay. you'll probably prefer there's a time limit. >> jimmy: i've already asked you two. >> oh, great. >> jimmy: well, it's good to see you with your clothes on. >> yes, likewise. >> jimmy: thank you, yeah. that was a fun party we went to. [ laughter ] now, i was backstage and i saw jemaine changing. [ scattered cheers ] >> this is cgi. [ laughter ] i'm completely naked. you can see on the screen i look like i have clothes on. >> jimmy: but no, in real life -- i guess, at home, you can't tell that you are completely naked. you are the first naked guest we've ever had on our show.
[ laughter ] >> something to be proud of. >> jimmy: new zealand -- that's where you're from. >> you've done your googling. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you. i have done my googling, new zealand. but you have the accent, and a lot of people think it's australian. >> they think it's from any place. england, south africa. it's new zealand. new zealand. >> jimmy: you're from new -- >> new zealand. >> jimmy: don't move your lips? >> don't move your lips. don't worry about vowels. >> jimmy: you know, it doesn't sound that similar -- >> to what? >> jimmy: australian. i get them mixed up sometimes. >> yeah, well. >> jimmy: i'm wrong. >> you're wrong. >> jimmy: i know i'm wrong. >> it's between -- >> jimmy: betwixt -- >> it's betwixt australia and the south pole. >> jimmy: we say betwixt in america. >> oh, thank you.
>> jimmy: no, we don't. i made that up. >> oh, i thought i was going to fit in. >> jimmy: no, you definitely fit in, totally. i mean, you are a naked man sitting here with a great beard. >> thank you. [ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: now, "flight of the concords," i got say, congrats on that. i'm a big fan of that. [ cheers and applause ] you won the grammy. you won an emmy. you won a tony and an oscar. a big hit hbo show with a massive tour. now you guys are taking a breather right now? >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: you are? >> getting away from each other and learning to appreciate each other again. [ laughter ] we wait till we miss each other, and then we come back, and we're like, "sorry." >> jimmy: did you apologize for being away? >> yeah, and for the last thing we said before we didn't see each other. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you insult each other? >> we insult each other. "that's it! i'm not doing this anymore." and then, in a week, "i'm sorry." [ light laughter ] we're still on the road. >> jimmy: so you've done this before? >> we do it weekly. >> jimmy: are you as popular in
new zealand as you are here in america? >> we're more known in new zealand for being those guys that went to america. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's how you get recognized. >> "there's those guys. go back to america, guys!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they don't know your names? they just call you "guys"? >> actually, people do. it's different in new zealand, the way people treat you. everyone thinks they're your friend if they see you on tv. "welcome back, jemaine. well done." [ laughter ] that's from some business guy on the street. >> jimmy: now, let's talk about "dinner for schmucks." you're very funny in this movie. >> if you think i'm going to promote this hilarious roller coaster ride of wackiness and nonstop laughter -- [ laughter ] who do you think i am? >> jimmy: you know what? we don't have to talk about it. >> well, go and see it. >> jimmy: that's all it took? that's ten seconds. you are very funny in this movie. just take the compliment. >> thank you. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it wasn't meant to be funny.
it was meant to be dramatic. you play an artist. >> an artist. >> jimmy: an artist. sorry, i had trouble getting the word out. you play an artist. you do just crazy art in this movie. how would you describe your artwork? >> kind of crazy. [ laughter ] i'd say kind of crazy. >> jimmy: i did my googling. >> a lot of imagery and melting and mixing human and animal imagery. it's the place betwixt animal and human. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right now i'm stuck betwixt a rock and a hard place because i was gonna ask you another question to describe your character. 'cause you are very kind of -- >> sensual. >> jimmy: sensual. you are very good at recognizing the -- >> word.
>> jimmy: next word, yeah. [ laughter ] >> i am. >> jimmy: we should go on a game show. we'll win, like, $10,000. >> we should do some improv together. >> jimmy: it'd be fantastic. you were very sensual -- >> thank you. >> jimmy: no, in the movie. [ laughter ] in the movie -- >> in the movie, especially. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, especially. and it's very, very funny. we have a clip from the great, great film. >> hilarious! >> jimmy: "dinner with schmucks." it's a roller coaster of a film. >> i would say the same thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yep. it's almost like you have. >> well, you know, we're on a time difference. i say a lot of answers before they come out. >> jimmy: so, if you watch this -- >> a lot of these questions you've asked, i've already answered 18 hours ago. >> jimmy: how did they go over. >> they went better. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they did? >> jimmy: here it is, "dinner for schmucks." >> let's look at this. >> i have something, something that women respond to.
am i going to make love with christina and monique tonight? >> yeah! hell, yes! >> guilty. you called me out, yeah, but only because it's part of my process. >> your process? >> there are two things in this world. wonderful, visceral, sexy sex. and death. horrible, boring death. i'm gonna go off and have some sex with these girls before i die. >> go ahead. >> if you guys want to join, that's cool. don't look at me in the eye. it puts me off. >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] that just about sums it up right there. >> okay. >> jimmy: "dinner for schmucks" is in theaters everywhere friday, july 30th. jemaine clement, everybody! crowded house performs next. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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crowded house! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ breathe it out i can hear you now you think reality's shut you down ♪ ♪ and you're locked away where you can't get out spent awhile on your back ♪ ♪ and you know what it means to me, babe in the course of a history, hey ♪ ♪ it all makes sense to me somehow and it's not what it used to be, no ♪ ♪ we're suddenly free to let go and look what's happening now ♪ ♪ you will love this one you will love this one as if we create something
magical, honey ♪ ♪ there are times that come these are times that come only once in your life or twice like mine ♪ ♪ do you wish to love can you give enough use your saving graces in the heavy light ♪ ♪ till the sky falls down he can pray all he likes ♪ ♪ but you know what it means to me, babe in the course of a history, hey ♪ ♪ it all makes sense to me somehow it's a course in philosophy, yeah ♪ ♪ what is life? is it just a dream, no the perfect mystery but somehow i know ♪ ♪ you will love this one
you will love this one and if we create something magical, honey ♪ ♪ there are times that come these are times that come only once in your life or twice if you're lucky ♪ ♪ and if the chance it comes around another time you risk it all you take the fall ♪ ♪ for what you like and sure enough before your love has taken flight ♪ ♪ you make the revelation you will love this one you will love this one you will love this one ♪