tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC February 9, 2011 12:35am-1:35am PST
"jimmy fallon" happening right [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com
♪ [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: that's what i'm talking about! that's the best crowd right there. new york city crowd! welcome, everybody. thank you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." hey, a year ago this week, michelle obama announced her plan to fight childhood obesity, called "let's move." [ light laughter ] and i think americans have been pretty clear in announcing their answer -- "no." [ laughter ] earlier tonight the green bay packers hosted a super bowl celebration at lambeau field. right. and this is cool, as a treat for the fans, christina aguilera came and messed up the words to "we are the champions." ' [ laughter ] that was really -- that was nice. [ cheers and applause ] that was surprising. didn't have to. that was surprising. ♪ we are the rock you we will [ laughter ] and champions will rock
you, oh we will ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: you guys hear about this? there was a major power outage in new jersey yesterday that caused a 90 minute showdown at newark airport. it was pretty bad. yeah, instead of sending people through the body scanners. screeners were forced to stare at people and imagine really hard. [ laughter ] check this out, prince william's best friend and nightclub owner, guy pelly, is said to be planning a wild bachelor party. [ cheers ] it's got to be weird, though, stuffing money into a stripper's bikini when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "what are you thinking of right now, you dirty boy? [ laughter ]
don't put me in the g-string. don't. [ laughter ] don't do that. i changed your diapers. [ laughter ] your nappies." this is pretty crazy. a cow in arkansas recently gave birth to a rare set of triplets. or as i call them, sliders. [ audience groans ] you guys, i'm not sure what to make of this. in an interview yesterday, nancy pelosi described justin bieber as adorable but also substantial. [ light laughter ] while justin bieber described nancy pelosi as court ordered to maintain a distance of 300 feet at all times. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] just make sure that that happens. i just read that egyptian president hosni mubarak is the richest man in the world with more than $70 billion in hidden assets. that's going to go up even more once his unemployment kicks in.
[ laughter ] that's what i'm saying. this is important, you guys. a new study found that computer hackers can figure out a six character password in ten minutes. although some hackers can do it in eight seconds. if you're like my dad and have the password written on a post-it note right on your computer screen. dad? [ light laughter ] and finally, in a new interview, the situation says that he only plans to do "jersey shore" for another year. and then graduate to movies. [ laughter ] marking the first time ever that the words "jersey shore" and graduate were used in the same sentence. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! right there! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: thank you guys so much. we have a great show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] oh, i know what you're looking at. the old giant band-aid. that's for my brothers in jail right now. [ light laughter ] no, this is a -- i got a mole removed from crazy dr. oz across the hallway. yeah. he took a mole off. it was ridiculous. >> steve: it's like surgery. >> jimmy: it actually was surgery. yeah, he actually did surgery, and it's going to be on the "dr. oz show" in two weeks or something. he does it for ratings, yeah. [ laughter ] i didn't even need to get it removed at all. not cancerous or anything. it was ridiculous. >> steve: good times. >> jimmy: but i lost two pounds. >> steve: well, that's good. >> jimmy: that's a good thing. >> steve: well, that's fine. >> jimmy: hey, you guys, i'm so excited about our show tonight. one of my favorites of all time, the very funny kevin nealon is here! [ cheers and applause ] i could have him on every night. he's my favorite. kevin is in the movie "just go with it," which is the new
adam sandler/jennifer aniston movie. and they'll be on our show thursday and friday. so, we got a good week coming up. also, we have a good actor and a good guy, timothy olyphant is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] "justified." he's a good man. and we have some great country music from little big town, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] i love them. they're talented. they can sing. they can play. they are good, good, good. but first, every now and then it's important to salute the things in life that really matter. things that are truly real, truly permanent. and that's why every night this week here on "late night" we'll be saluting the one thing in this world that we know is truly permanent -- the permanent a.k.a. the perm. that's right everyone. it's "late night" perm week! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right.
[ laughter ] it is "late night" perm week, the entire week where we celebrate the world's greatest hairdo by picking one person per day from our audience and lovingly perming their hair. tonight's lucky perm recipient is steve obelnicki. steve is in our audience. he is a 24 year old guy from winnipeg, canada. and he plays right wing for the new york aviators, which is a minor league hockey team right here in the city. [ cheers and applause ] hockey player. getting a perm. it's been an exciting day of hair transformation for steve. here, take a look. >> my name is steve obelnicki. i'm from winnipeg, manitoba, canada. i'm here to get a perm. ♪ the most i've ever done with my hair is shaved it, and when i was a rookie they shaved an arrow into the top of my head. so, that's probably the craziest thing i've done. >> steve could really use a perm.
he's -- he's been having some trouble with the ladies lately, and i think is in desperate need for a change here. certainly -- certainly won't hurt. >> steve's duty on our team is usually the fighter, and i think it will just get more fights. guys will be picking on him now and calling him a little girl with his hair but -- ♪ >> i'm excited to get this perm, and i hope jimmy loves it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, steve has been sequestered since he got permed. so, he hasn't seen himself yet, and his friends haven't seen him either. [ light laughter ] as you can see, this entire process has been cloaked in secrecy. we have his hockey coach and some of his teammates right here for the big perm reveal. say hello, you guys. >> hello. hello everyone. >> jimmy: now, how's the season going so far, coach. >> pretty good. just won 14 in a row. we're on a pretty good -- >> jimmy: hey, all right. [ cheers and applause ] fourteen in a row. phenomenal. where do the aviators play? >> play in brooklyn, new york -- right up floyd bennett field. >> jimmy: all right.
floyd bennett field. all right, good. we've got to go to some games, and see the aviators. that would be awesome. what is steve like as a player, you guys? >> terrible. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, terrible. >> he works hard. he's tough. he's a tough kid. >> jimmy: yeah, is he? do you think this perm is going to help him or hurt him? >> uh, it will absolutely help. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you think it'll help. it can't hurt him? huh? >> it can't get any worse. >> jimmy: no. i like that shirt, though. it's very -- very fitting with your mustache. okay. [ laughter ] >> i'm looking for the perm. >> jimmy: it's not mustache week here at "late night." go get your team. mustache week is next week. yeah. okay, now i want you to keep the blindfolds on the entire time here. it's time for the big perm reveal. do not remove the blindfolds until i ask you. please. is everyone ready for steve? [ cheers and applause ] all right. here he is before. and here he is now. steve, come on out. ♪ [cheers and applause ]
>> is it like yours at all, or no? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. oh, my god. this is truly -- [ laughter ] this is truly a remarkable transformation right now. this is -- you look like "boy meets world." you really do. [ laughter ] friends and family, are you guys ready to see him? >> yeah. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: take off your blindfolds, guys. [ whistles ] ♪ what do you guys think? >> over there. over there. walk over there. show all the ladies in the crowd. [cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the ladies -- the ladies digging on his perm a little bit. huh? looks pretty good. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, i'm sorry. they want to come over to shake your hand. they can console you. yeah, they feel bad for you.
>> i have to touch it. >> jimmy: you had to touch it? i love that you had to touch it. i love that mario had to come over and touch it. [ laughter ] and now for the most important reveal of all. steve, are you ready to see yourself? >> not at all. >> jimmy: steve, you haven't seen yourself since getting your perm, is that correct? >> correct. i haven't even touched it either. >> jimmy: let's turn around, and take a look at yourself, man. ♪ >> would you look at that? >> jimmy: would you look at that? yeah. what do you think? are you going to get in a lot of fights now with hockey? >> i'm not too sure what i'm going to do with this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've got to wear a helmet, all the time, man. >> this is my new helmet. >> jimmy: this is your new helmet. thanks to louis licari salon for this wonderful perm. we're giving out perms every night this week on "late night." happy perm week, everybody. give it up for the new york aviators. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with audience suggestion box! come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ [ male announcer ] cowhide dries out. so does your manhide. regular men's body wash can dry out your skin. dove men + care is different. only dove has micromoisture to fight skin dryness. so that manhide of yours stays clean and moisturized... no matter what you put it through. dove men + care. be comfortable in your own skin. ♪ dove men + care. also available in a bar. ♪ about bringing k-y yours+mine home. i didn't want him to think i was... the greatest wife ever!!!?!? one has an amazing sensation for me, the other a thrilling sensation for him.
and when they combine... (announcer) k-y brand yours+mine... what makes a hershey's bar pure? ["melt with you" playing] pure fun. pure joy. pure delicious chocolate. pure hershey's. ate something loaded with fat? now we got a beef with that. 25 of our campbell's chunky soups give you 100% lean meat and a full serving of vegetables.
>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. hope you had a great day. you guys, it's time to announce this week's "late night hashtag." now, valentine's day is coming up next week. time for flowers. time for cards. time to go to a packed restaurant with 900 other couples. [ light laughter ] so, earlier today i went on twitter and started a hashtag called "screw valentine's day." [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] for example, i tweeted out, "dude, picking through a whitman's sampler one tiny candy at a time. just buy a long snickers bar and get it over with." screw valentine's day. "i think i'll have this one with the nougat. then, i'll have this one here. this is the -- what, walnut cream. [ light laughter ] then, i'll have this one here with the --" just get a giant candy bar and eat it. [ light laughter ] you guys, go on twitter. tweet us something that annoys you or something that you hate about valentines day, and be sure to include the hashtag "screw valentine's day." i'll look at all of them and put some of my favorites on the show
tomorrow night. so, tune in. you might see a tweet on the show. it'll be fun. [ applause ] it's always fun. we always have a good time here. get on the twitter. as you guys know, we're always striving to get better here at "late night." harder, better, faster, stronger. [ laughter ] more powerful. so, before every show we put out a suggestion box for the audience, just to get some feedback about what you guys think of the show, thing's you like to see us do. that kind of stuff. so tonight, let's look inside the audience suggestion box. here we go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. here we go. let's see what we have here. this one is from carrie gordon. "hey jimmy, can you think of a number between one and ten in your mind?" okay. all right. let's do another one. [ light laughter ]
this one here is from richard powell. says, "hey, jimmy, remember that scene in 'raiders of the lot of ark' when indy has to outrun that giant boulder?" mm-hmm. "do you think you could recreate that scene in your studio audience? i was just wondering." well, wonder no more. zog? ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, no! zog? ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ the sun is down the lights are off the shades are closed and i'm alone again ♪
♪ i'm alone again [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: zog? >> yeah, jimmy. >> jimmy: you're alive? >> yeah, i'm very much alive. the boulder is fake, paper mache. so, that was pretty much a sketch, but thanks for having that death montage ready to go. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, we update it every year. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] this is from nick dalton. it says, "dear jimmy, sometimes if i can't get a table at a fancy restaurant, i want to slip a couple of dollars to the maître d', but i just don't know how. could you show me?" no problem, nick. we actually have someone on staff who's an expert at this.
michael blieden, want to help me out? hey, buddy. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] hey, nice to see you. welcome to the show. >> oh, thank you so much. >> jimmy: please. >> now, i know that it's -- it's awkward to tip the maitre d' or grease the palm, as it's called, if you want to get a good table. but, i've got three really simple moves that i can show you and i guarantee they're going to work in any restaurant. >> jimmy: okay, all right. let me become a maitre d'. >> that would be helpful. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very good. there you go. >> okay, great. [ laughter ] okay, so this first move is called the tuck. >> jimmy: okay. >> so, as the maitre d', when i ask for the -- >> jimmy: the tuck. >> it's called the tuck. >> jimmy: okay. >> okay. just tell me you don't have a table. okay? >> jimmy: okay. >> okay, here we go. ready? hey, i didn't make a reservation but i'd love a table. do you have anything? >> jimmy: i am so sorry. we're all booked up. [ laughter ] >> oh, i totally understand. let me just fix this here. how about now?
>> jimmy: does that actually work? >> it actually works every single time. >> jimmy: that's phenomenal. >> that always works. now, that is a little too overt. if you want something that's a little bit more subtle -- >> jimmy: yep. >> i have a move that is actually a little bit more subtle. >> jimmy: okay, okay. >> it's called -- it's called the stocking stuffer. same drill. ready? >> jimmy: okay. >> hey, man, i would love a table, but i didn't make a reservation. do you have anything? >> jimmy: i'm so sorry. there's nothing available. >> oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] i am so sorry to hear that. oops. let me get that. [ laughter ]
how about now? how about now? >> jimmy: nice move. that's definitely, definitely subtle. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: definitely, definitely much more subtle. look, i mean, look -- it's almost like you didn't even touch my legs. look at my legs. >> yes. no one would notice that. >> jimmy: no one would notice that, no. [ laughter ] >> but there's money in there. now, if you absolutely have to get a table. if it's a very important dinner, i have one more move that is guaranteed to get you a table. >> jimmy: okay. >> okay? ready? >> jimmy: all right. >> all right. hey. >> jimmy: what is this one called? oh, thank you. this is called the change up. >> jimmy: okay. >> okay. hey, i would like to get a table, any -- any tables? >> jimmy: no, sorry, no tables today. [ light laughter ] >> hey, i totally understand. put 'er there, pal. >> jimmy: no problem. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: i think something just opened up. michael blieden, everyone! give it up. michael blieden. [cheers and applause ] thank you for the tip. got one here from steve graham. "jimmy, my two favorite shows are 'macgyver' and 'dexter.' can you scan your audience to see if there are any guys that happen to look like a cross between richard dean anderson and michael c. hall?" sure, let's take a look at the studio audience. they look pretty good. just scan them. is there anyone that looks familiar? what about that guy there? [ laughter ] [cheers and applause ] can we hold up some pictures? see. that's pretty good. [ cheers and applause ] hey, man, have ever heard you look like a cross between richard dean anderson and michael c. hall?
>> yes. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: let's do one last one here. "jimmy, i love weird al yankovic and i also love black history month. i hear you guys might have someone on your show who brings those two things together." yes, we do. ladies and gentlemen, here to sing a song about black history month, give it up for weird al sharpton. here he is. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> brothers. thank you, jimmy fallon. but, the question i have is this, if the roots are supposed to be the greatest band in late night, why does jimmy have the brothers tucked up against the wall and out of sight where nobody can see them? [ light laughter ] think about that, brothers.
mm-hmm. and speaking of doing black people wrong, this is black history month. the shortest month. don't blink, or you might miss it. [ light laughter ] hit me. ♪ yeah. here we go. ♪ i wish we had a longer month so freaking bad ♪ ♪ to celebrate the fact that we are black oh, we want more than the cover of "jet" magazine ♪ ♪ february's too short why ya'll so mean oh, frederick douglas james brown and denzel ♪ ♪ oprah winfrey she's rich as hell jackie robinson jaleel white ♪ ♪ there's too many to name
[ woman 2 ] alright i got a picture. one of the ways that we find restaurants for our blog, is the application urbanspoon. click a neighborhood, and a cuisine. then it pops out restaurant options. it's really good. on blackberry, it's a super app. you can add the restaurant to your contacts, map it, post to facebook, and tweet, without leaving the application. [ waitress ] hey ladies. it's like a slot machine, it's like cha ching. cha ching. you spin to win. i'm so full. [ male announcer ] more than apps. super apps. only at blackberry app world.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. you know our first guest from his many seasons on "saturday night live" and in the hit showtime comedy "weeds." starting friday, you can see him with adam sandler, jennifer aniston, in the movie "just go with it." it's a very funny movie. please welcome back to the show, one of our favorites, mr. kevin nealon, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you very much.
i did not have a reservation. is there any way i can get a seat out here? what do you think? is there anything i can do? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look, don't -- you don't have to do that. we are fully booked. we are fully booked. >> there's nothing? >> jimmy: we are fully -- we are -- there is nothing you can do. >> nothing at all? >> jimmy: we are fully -- fully -- >> nothing? >> jimmy: -- fully booked. please, thank you so much. >> i wish i had more money than this. >> jimmy: yeah, no. we are full. how are you, buddy? >> very good. very good. >> jimmy: good to see you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you know what, i thought of you over the weekend, because dana carvey hosted "saturday light live." it was amazing. he hosted -- >> when will that be on? >> jimmy: saturday. and it was live. >> so many people ask that. when is "saturday night live" on? and when do they tape it? >> jimmy: yeah, i can't get into that. >> but that was a good week though. i liked watching him, yeah. >> jimmy: it was great. we said in his monologue that he had -- he had the best cast ever. '86 to '93 was the best. and you were on that cast. and i got to say, it was a phenomenal cast. >> that was a phenomenal cast. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a lot of good people in the cast. >> i think they're all good cast, they're just different. they're different casts. but, you did a bunch of characters, mr. subliminal. come on. >> yeah, yep. >> jimmy: you'd done him.
very good. [ cheers and applause ] i heard you do -- you do impressions now. >> well, i don't really do impressions. i'm not an impressionist like you per se. i do more -- >> jimmy: that brent musberger i remember you do. >> that was a -- >> jimmy: pretty classic. up top? >> up top? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> but my -- i like to do -- you know what i do? i like to do walking impressions. i do the -- no talking. a lot of people do the audio impressions. i like to do walking. i've studied people's walks. and i do different celebrities. you want to give it a shot? >> jimmy: i would love to try. >> try to guess who i'm doing. >> jimmy: all right, i don't know who you're going to do. go for it. >> okay, do it right here? >> jimmy: yeah, do it right here. yeah, sure. >> i'll start down here. i need a little -- little bit of a start here. i need some -- >> jimmy: yep. there you go. walking impressions. >> first one. [ laughter ] let me do it again, real quick. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. that's not part of the impression? >> it is. >> jimmy: oh, that's part of the impression? >> yeah, yeah. >> audience member: jimmy fallon!
>> jimmy: oh, i -- i -- >> that's me. that's me. >> jimmy: oh, that was you. oh, that was you. very good. now you get the hang of it. now you get the hang of it. now they're going to get a little tougher. okay. >> jimmy: okay. >> the audience can also guess if they want. are you ready? >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> audience member: jimmy fallon! >> audience member: george w. bush! >> nope. nope. >> audience member: charlie sheen! >> audience member: charlie daniels! >> jimmy: who -- who is it? >> larry david, "curb your enthusiasm." [ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: it was larry david. >> notice the subtle -- the subtle nuances with the hands. >> >> jimmy: that's pretty good. that's very good. walking impression. >> are you ready. >> audience member: john wayne! >> jimmy: george burns. >> audience member: ronald reagan. >> letterman. >> jimmy: oh, david letterman. >> yeah. yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: that is -- that is -- that's letterman. yeah, yeah. >> there's something going on -- when he's kind of -- >> jimmy: and he is always chewing on something, and he's waving as he's walking. >> these are all good. these are all good, by the way. [ laughter ] okay. all right. last one. are you ready? >> jimmy: yeah. >> this is a tough one. this is -- nobody is going to get this. [ light laughter ]
>> jimmy: oh, man. >> audience member: ellen degeneres. >> christopher walken walkin'. >> jimmy: wow. [ cheers and applause ] that is a deep cut. that is a deep cut. i like that. >> up top. >> jimmy: up high. fist bump and up high. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i like that a lot. will you stick around? more funny with kevin nealon. we'll talk about the movie and more funny stuff, with kevin nealon, when we come back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
2... 4... 6... 8... who do we appreciate? why, you, of course. the $2, $4, $6, $8 value menu. only at denny's. with relief from dry, uncomfortable skin. only aveeno skin relief has an active naturals oat formula... to improve all five symptoms... of winter skin in just one day. discover the beauty and comfort of skin relief. only from aveeno. we get double miles on every purchase. so we earned a trip to new orleans twice as fast! bebebebebebaaa! we get double miles every time we use our card, no matter what we're buying. i'll take it. and since double miles add up fast, we can bring the whole gang. fire! [ garth ] it's hard to beat double miles! have you seen garth? oh! [ male announcer ] get the venture card from capital one. money magazine's best rewards card
if you aim to rack up airline miles. what's in your wallet? bebebebebebaaa! if you aim to rack up airline miles. what could possibly hold together all the natural energy found in peanuts? caramel works. payday. crunchy roasted peanuts and soft chewy caramel come together to give you sweet energy. payday. the sweet taste of energy. [ male announcer ] thanks to the orbitz matrix display, you can make more knowledgeable decisions when booking vacation packages. ♪ see all your hotel and flight options and savings for the ideal vacation. perfect. [ male announcer ] when you orbitz, you know. so whose antiperspirant will make them the last man standing? put on the meat ponchos. [ whistles ] [ bear ] the degree adrenaline series responds to spikes in adrenaline with twice the sweat-blocking power, which is good because sweat is like tasty gravy to a hungry wolf. [ wolves snarling ] aah! looks dry to me! looks dry to me too, bear.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with the great kevin nealon who's in the new adam sandler movie "just go with it." [ cheers and applause ] kevin, i know you do a lot of stand up and -- >> i do a lot of stand up. >> jimmy: do you enjoy doing stand up? >> i do. i do like to stand up. >> jimmy: traveling around. >> the traveling is a little boring. i'm kind of over that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like i was in chicago last week and i was in a hotel room. there was like nothing to do. and i'm kind of laying in bed just -- and had the reading lamp on next to me -- i was reading the paper and i noticed like some shadows on the wall. i started -- i never -- i haven't done this in a long time, but i started making shadow puppets. i thought that i was very good at it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: shadow puppets. >> and i took some pictures and i twittered them. but, i brought some with me too to show you, if you don't mind. >> jimmy: sure. >> okay. the first one -- if we have it -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> is a lockness monster. >> jimmy: there you go. >> right there. yep. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: that's pretty good. [ applause ] >> it would be like that. >> jimmy: that looks really good. >> okay. and then next one i think is a bear. >> jimmy: bear. there it is. >> that's a bear. >> jimmy: that's the ear. >> yeah. [ laughter ] [ applause ] cute, cute. >> jimmy: cute. it's a good bear. >> yep, yep. and then i came -- i figured out how to do a dog. >> jimmy: a dog? >> yeah. i didn't know i could do a dog. but, i -- i knew how to do the dog. >> jimmy: all right. >> there's the dog. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a great dog. >> pretty good. and then i started doing celebrity actors as well. so, not only do i do the walks, i do the shadow figures of the celebrity actors this one is -- take a look. yeah, yeah, that's javier bardem. javier. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i guess i can see that -- yeah. >> yeah, yeah. i mean, you ought to -- >> jimmy: a little bit. >> it's so, so, spot on right there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like a profile, or you're looking at me? >> yeah -- whatever you want. >> jimmy: okay. >> whatever you want. >> jimmy: okay, all right, okay. [ laughter ] >> that's the beauty of shadow figures. >> jimmy: yep. >> you can do however you see. >> jimmy: whatever you want. >> however you see. >> jimmy: sure. >> not really. [ laughter ] but the next one is james franco from "127 hours." let me -- [ cheers ]
yeah. see? yeah, there's franco. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how you think you did that -- that's great. >> yup. [ laughter ] that's more of like a -- like a mask. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a -- >> you know what i'm saying. >> jimmy: i was just saying. >> kind of like this. >> jimmy: amazing. you're getting good at this. >> yeah. and then the last one is attributed to "black swan." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you got really good. [ laughter ] kevin, this is phenomenal. [ cheers and applause ] >> well, what happened -- [ cheers and applause ] that one i was able to get my thumb. i caught my thumb in the garbage disposal and they shredded it up. and as i was putting the bandage on, i saw the shadow -- i thought, "wow, that is awesome." >> jimmy: use it to your advantage. >> use it to my advantage. >> jimmy: man oh man. you are a good -- >> it's a good point. >> jimmy: it is a pretty decent point. [ laughter ] >> it's -- jimmy, it's what i do. >> jimmy: oh! >> it's what i do. >> jimmy: look at this guy, by the way. this man. you'll see this man in the movie theaters when you go see -- [ laughter ] you're a plastic surgery victim in the new -- adam sandler -- >> well, i don't call it a victim. i call it a plastic surgery junkie. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. exactly. >> i like what's going on here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the junky's addicted to it. it's so good. you're so funny in this movie. this movie is great. i should -- i don't even want to ruin it for --
your wife is in the movie. but let's tell everybody that it's a good laugh. >> okay. >> jimmy: when your wife comes in. i don't want to -- >> leave it at that. >> jimmy: i'll leave it at that. but gosh, it's a great laugh. >> thank you, brother. >> jimmy: and we want to -- here's a clip of the funny, funny, very frozen botoxed kevin nealon. there we go. adon --. [ laughter ] >> yo, yo. >> sonny! >> i'm so happy you could be here. >> how are you -- >> did you bring any botox? >> i didn't bring the botox. >> oh. >> i brought my cousin eddie. >> nice to meet you, eddie. [ laughter ] >> is this a halloween party? >> are you kidding me right now? [ laughter ] >> you got a little more work done, huh? >> ah, just a little bit -- just a tweaking. tweaking. maintenance, maintenance. i just want to stay in the game, danny. i don't want to hit home runs. just some singles. that's -- that's all. >> you got to stop, though. i'm telling you. do you have any feeling in your face? >> just in this one spot right here. and then from the eyebrows down, dead. dead. [ laughter ] [ groaning ] >> is that a car alarm? >> he's laughing. he's laughing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the movie's in theaters everywhere on friday. check out kevin at the
comedy works in denver february 10th through the 12th and at stargazers in colorado springs on the 13th. kevin nealon, everybody! timothy olyphant joins us next! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ turn the tub around ♪ talking about nutrition [ female announcer ] "i can't believe it's not butter" with no trans fat and 70% less saturated fat than butter. butter taste, better health.
♪ work, work all week long ♪ punching that clock from dusk till dawn ♪ ♪ countin' the days till friday night ♪ ♪ that's when all the conditions are right for a good time ♪ [ male announcer ] advanced technology that helps provide cleaner air, cleaner water, and helps make all of us more energy efficient is something the whole world can get in step with. [ static ] ♪ i need a good time [ male announcer ] ecomagination from ge. it's technology that makes the world work. ♪ ♪ it's technology that makes the world work. [ male announcer ] cowhide dries out. so does your manhide. regular men's body wash can dry out your skin. dove men + care is different. only dove has micromoisture to fight skin dryness.
10:00 p.m. please welcome, timothy olyphant, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> hey, guys. what the hell's going on? >> jimmy: what if we just did the whole interview just crouching down? >> that's a hell of a band. >> jimmy: what? >> that's a hell of a band. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what? >> that's a cool band. let me ask you something, though. >> jimmy: yeah. >> why you got them up against the wall? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: have you been talking to weird al back there? >> i'm just asking. did someone else mention it? >> jimmy: no, weird al was here earlier. [ laughter ] and you just came right here from the super bowl. >> i did! >> jimmy: man, oh man. no one saw it. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: so, what happened? >> good game! you guys, it was a good game. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: 111 million people or something saw that. the most viewed thing ever on tv -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: since the new kardashian show. [ laughter ] >> what is the new kardashian -- the -- >> jimmy: they take the muppets to manhattan.
[ laughter ] >> that's fantastic. >> jimmy: but they do. it's fantastic. >> oh, those puppets are in trouble. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> it was great. >> jimmy: it was fun? >> it was just great to be there. you've done this before. >> jimmy: oh, nbc had the super bowl and it's very interesting to be an nbc -- work for nbc and then go to the super bowl. 'cause you get special treatment and then get to hang out with al roker, and stuff like that. it's a lot of fun. >> this was it exactly like that, only on another network. >> jimmy: yeah, so who did you hang out with? like the "family guy" cast? [ laughter ] >> you know who i met at the super bowl? >> jimmy: who? >> the guy who created "glee." >> jimmy: yeah, ryan murphy. >> there you go. and i met him -- he's super nice, and i remember saying nice things to him. and not once did he ask me if i knew how to sing. and i thought -- [ audience aws ] it's a slight, right? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no it's not. you can't have everybody on "glee." >> i said -- i gave him the like, "hey, great show." and then he was like, "nice to meet you." [ laughter ] i felt like he should have said -- even if he was faking it. i was faking it. i was -- [ laughter ] -- i haven't seen the show. [ laughter ] so i gave a -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're an actor. he's not an actor. >> well, apparently not. [ laughter ]
i think he's an [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he should have -- >> jimmy: you don't mean that. no, no, no. >> i don't mean that. >> jimmy: you don't mean that. >> no, i don't mean that. >> jimmy: what if he calls you tomorrow and wants you to be on he should have -- >> jimmy: you don't mean that. no, no, no. >> i don't mean that. >> jimmy: you don't mean that. >> no, i don't mean that. >> jimmy: what if he calls you tomorrow and wants you to be on the show? >> i don't -- i mean i kinda -- >> jimmy: yes, you would. >> no i -- oh, well i can't sing. >> jimmy: you can't sing? >> but he should have asked. >> jimmy: why would you want him to ask you if you can sing if you can't sing? >> that's what you do in this business. every night -- every night. and you can say it right here it to me. i can't tell. >> jimmy: yep. >> you can say, "oh, i love your work." >> jimmy: i do. i love your work. [ laughter ] >> and i love your's. >> jimmy: now, you've never seen me before. >> for all i know, we just did it right there! >> jimmy: yeah, i've never seen your show. you've never seen this show. that's pretty fun. >> it's a great band though. >> jimmy: it's a great band. they are good. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] they are very good. i actually am a fan of "justified." >> thank you. >> jimmy: it is not a western show but it's kind of -- >> we wear the hats. >> jimmy: you have that kind of throw back attitude, though. you really are a marshall. >> yeah. >> jimmy: in kentucky. >> one of those kind of old
school dudes. kentucky -- yeah. >> jimmy: it's a great state. >> yeah, we're proud of it. >> jimmy: we have a clip of you, timothy olyphant, being very u.s. marshally in "justified." here we go. it's on fx. >> it's a verb. >> coover, you throw a dead rat in my car -- -- what are you trying to tell me? >> take it any way you want, rayland. as long as you know i'm serious. >> you're telling me you're a mean son of a bitch. do you know how many wanted felons are giving me this look? i'd say a thousand. i know i'm low. some turn ugly as i put on the cuffs. they're too late. there's mothers, i swear. they even try to draw down on me. [cheers and applause ] >> oh, yeah that was good. >> jimmy: that's a good show. that's a good show. >> i mean, i'm on it, so i'm a little bit -- i'll tell you this -- if they broke into song -- it'd be a great show. >> jimmy: you can't sing though. >> oh! >> jimmy: do you want to have a little shoot out? >> this is -- do i want to -- >> jimmy: yeah, have a little shoot out. [ cheers and applause ] there you go.
>> you got one, too? >> jimmy: yeah. of course. >> i thought we were -- i asked for something with like a -- with like a pump. >> jimmy: these are water guns. these are water guns. >> these are water guns? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was hoping for something -- >> jimmy: here's what we're going to do. we're going to stand here. i've got water guns here and here. >> who -- who -- who fitted me for this? >> i don't know if you guys have seen the show, but it's frightening how much this is >> jimmy: hold them out like this. >> this hat doesn't fit either. >> jimmy: all right. all right. hold them out -- hold them out like this. >> wait, now i can't get the hat
off. all right. here we go. >> jimmy: ready? hold them out like this. >> what do you mean hold them out? what rule do you play -- wait a minute. i'm assuming -- >> jimmy: you just uncorked that guy. [ laughter ] i'm sorry. all right. all right. all right. i'm sorry. sorry. sorry. all right. here we go. ready? here we go. ready? back to back. >> oh, that's good. >> jimmy: yeah, back to back. >> how many steps? >> jimmy: five. [ laughter ] four? i don't know. what? [ laughter ] >> no, i just love the way you said it -- "five?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ready? >> the last time i did this -- >> jimmy: ready? >> yeah, but my mark is here. i feel like -- >> jimmy: don't worry about the mark. >> i want to make sure i hit my mark. >> jimmy: here we go. >> i'm going to do five steps and hit my mark. >> jimmy: yep. >> you want to see professionalism -- [ laughter ] i hit my mark every time. >> jimmy: go. >> ready go. >> jimmy: one, two, three, four. >> jimmy: four. >> what? >> jimmy: five. >> oh man, you're dead. >> jimmy: it's like battery acid. it's battery acid. [ cheers and applause ] acting! timothy olyphant right there! [ cheers and applause ] "justified" airs wednesday at 10:00 p.m. on fx. little big town performs next. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
i love my pet bald eagle brock, my bison sara, i love my pick-up with the custom constitution paint job... i celebrate jury duty... i love america so much, i'm making an all american jack combo two jumbo patties, with melting cheese, lettuce, tomato and pickles, plus fries and a drink for only $4.99. i've celebrated every american tradition...except one... spring break cancun yo!!!!!!!! try the all american jack and enter to win an all-american spring break for you and 10 of your friends.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are up for the best country performance grammy this weekend. i hope they win. for their song "little white church." they are here to play it tonight with a little help from the roots. please welcome little big town! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ you've been singing that same old song far too long, far too long ♪ ♪ you say you'll buy me a shiny ring but your words don't mean a thing ♪ ♪ no more calling me baby no more loving like crazy ♪ ♪ 'til you take me down (take me down) you better take me down (take me down) ♪ ♪ take me down to the little white church take me down (take me down) ♪ ♪ take me down (take me down) take me down to
the little white church ♪ ♪ take me down ♪ you can't ride this gravy train anymore anyways ♪ ♪ there's a price for keeping me i might be cheap but i ain't free ♪ ♪ no more calling me baby no more loving like crazy ♪ ♪ 'til you take me down (take me down) you better take me down (take me down) ♪ ♪ take me down to the little white church ♪ ♪ take me down (take me down) take me down (take me down) ♪ ♪ take me down to the little white church take me down, come on ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ charming devil silver tongue had your fun now you're done ♪ ♪ mama warned me about your games she don't like you anyway ♪ ♪ no more calling me baby no more loving like crazy no more chicken and gravy ain't gonna have your baby ♪ ♪ 'til you take me down (take me down) you better take me down (take me down) ♪ ♪ take me down to the little white church ♪ ♪ take me down (take me down) you better take me down (take me down) ♪ ♪ take me down to the little white church take me down to the little white church ♪ ♪ take me down) take me down take me down to the little white church ♪ ♪ take me down (take me down) you better take me down