♪ [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: hey! that's what i'm talking about. new york city crowd. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. thank you so much. welcome to the show. [ cheers ] guys, i -- i am so excited. we have tiger woods on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] right. the one man out there who can actually say he's filled with tiger blood. [ laughter ] it's just insane. charlie sheen is, apparently, moving into a house next door to paris hilton. [ light laughter ] cops are thrilled. now, they could send one car. use it like a super shuttle. so, are you picking up both or just one of them? [ light laughter ] you guys see this? today, president obama went on espn to announce his ncaa tournament picks.

or, as japan put it, "really?" [ laughter ] you're kidding me. who -- who is advising the president of the united states? [ laughter ] listen to this. secretary of state, hillary clinton, visited egypt today for the first time since the uprising. when asked why she was going, one guy was like, -- [ impersonates bill clinton ] "trust me, if anyone can stop an uprising, it's hillary." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] darryl hammond has that trademark. [ laughter ] this is interesting. a new study found that washington, d.c., is the most socially networked city in the country. it explains why, today, the senate said all in favor, say "like." [ laughter ] check this out. time warner cable is launching a new app that let's customers watch live television on their ipads. and this is nice. to make you think you're

watching time warner on your television, it doesn't -- it doesn't work. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] how do i reset it? press up and down in volume and -- what? did you hear about this? the world's most expensive dog, a tibetan mastiff puppy, was just sold in china for a million dollars. it's a lot of money, but that also includes an appetizer and dessert. [ laughter ] [ audience groans ] they eat dog in china. sorry, everybody. [ light laughter ] i don't know what to make of this. officials in texas say someone hacked into an electric road sign and changed the messages to "poop" and "lol." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] come on, guys. what kind of childish, immature person told on him? [ laughter ] because that's a funny bit. poop. [ light laughter ] genius -- the guys a genius. >> steve: and they say america is number two. [ light laughter ]

>> jimmy: very nice. a woman in new mexico, you guys, is suing a chile's restaurant after she found a sewing needle in her food. the weird thing was, afterwards the cook came out and said -- ♪ i want my needle back needle back, needle back i want my needle back needle back, needle back ♪ ♪ i want my needle back needle back, needle back chili's needle ribs ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ choking heather [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and finally, this isn't good. nasa found over four grams of cocaine at the kennedy space center last week. in response, one astronaut was like -- [ intercom voice ] "houston, i'm like a total freaking rock star. winning, duh." [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: love the roots.

thank you, guys. hey, guys, we have such a great show tonight but first, i want to mention an easy way to donate to the red cross, who is doing great work over in japan, just text "red cross" to 90999. it's only ten bucks. it automatically charges on your phone. if you have a second, please do it. it would be nice. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've got a fun show tonight! she's the star of "parks and recreation." you know her. you love her. we love her. amy poehler is here! [cheers and applause ] also, as i said, one of the best-known athletes in the world -- tiger woods is in the house. [ cheers and applause ] going to spend time with him. it's going to be great. and as -- as we said last night -- in -- in this year's march madness tournament, we're supporting the long island university blackbirds. okay. they're awesome. [ cheers and applause ] they're the underdog team, but we love them. they're a great, young team. they are going up against the unc tarheels -- the number two seed, and a real powerhouse. but we're not worried, because

they have an amazing coach. a coach with leadership, a coach with a tenacious will to, not only mold great players, but mold great men. he is the sexiest coach in the ncaa. [ light laughter ] you know him. you love him. i'm speaking, of course, about jim ferry. here with the smooth definition of coach, jim ferry, give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ferry jim ferry ferry is so very stunning♪ ♪ he's winning wise and cuning ♪ ♪ the ladies say he's the reason they call it the long island ferry ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ go ahead and check that out on your blackberry ♪ ♪ "f" to the "e" to the r-r-y

he's the one who makes the tarheels cry ♪ ♪ knock, knock who's there jim jim who ♪ ♪ jim ferry well come right on in coach jim ferry ♪ ♪ he's 6 feet 200 pounds and all man ♪ ♪ he don't wax his chest he's a hairy ferry ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ serving up a victory sunday with a ferry on top ♪ ♪ jim ferry is so very ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our thanks to everyone at liu brooklin. they play this friday night. and to cheer them on, you guys, everyone in our audience is getting a pair of these -- blackbirds thunder sticks. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with "'late night' hashtags," you guys. come on back. [ cheers and applause ]

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jimmy: welcome back, everybody. it's time for "'late night' hashtags." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hashtags. these are a list on twitter where we give you the topic and you send in the tweets. tomorrow is st. patrick's day, which, of course, means lots of drinking. so, in honor of that, i went on twitter yesterday, and started a hashtag called -- drunkest i ever got. [ light laughter ] and i asked you guys to tweet out a funny or embarrassing story from when you were drunk. we got thousands of tweets. hundreds of thousands of tweets. [ light laughter ] within a few hours, actually, it was the number one worldwide trending topic on twitter, which is gigantic. [ cheers and applause ] appriciate that, you guys. we got -- we got some good ones. i was going to share some of my favorites. drunkest i ever got tweets from you guys. here we go. all right, the first is from @sebastianaida.

the drunkest he ever got -- "one day i broke her window to get into my house. when i woke up, the house key was in my pocket." [ laughter ] that sucks. this is from @bencotchinc. he says, "i kept trying to figure out why i couldn't find the opening to my can of beer. i was holding it upside down." [ laughter ] that's pretty drunk. yeah. oh, it's one of those -- >> steve: they sealed it shut! >> jimmy: it's one of those beers. reopen it from the bottom. this one is from @pjotjock. she says, "i once got stuck in a bathroom, because it had a sliding door instead of a push door. i was stuck for a half hour." [ laughter ] >> steve: won't budge! where's the handle? >> jimmy: this one is from @justsomedude899. he says, "one time i was camping and someone handed me a cigar and said it was beef jerky. i ate it." [ laughter ] [ audience groans ] >> steve: lucky -- lucky it was a cigar.

>> jimmy: what was that? >> steve: lucky it was a cigar. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] true. [ light laughter ] no, no, no. this one's from @johnnybagofdonuts. [ laughter ] >> steve: who is this from? >> jimmy: johnny bag of donuts. [ light laughter ] do you know why johnny bag of donuts missed his dentist appointment? >> steve: why's that? >> jimmy: he forgot about it. >> both: eh! >> jimmy: -- johnny, he says, "open my laptop thinking it was a toilet, peed on it, and closed it, back to bed." [ laughter ] not good. >> steve: at least he lifted the seat. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah.

hey, this is from @heyjimmy6. he says, "thought a random guy's car outside the bar was a cab. got in and asked him to go to mcdonald's. he did it." [ laughter ] i love america. it's awesome. what the -- all right. let's go. come on. i don't care. >> yeah, i'm going to go any way. >> jimmy: this is from @comicgb. he say, "friends kept putting beer coasters in my burgers all night. i must have eaten three or four and never noticed." [ laughter genius. genius --. this is from @iydcbirdfeed. no one else has that name. so, it's great. he says, "i peed my pants and blamed it on the girl who was sitting on my lap making out with me. she believed me." [ laughter ] >> come on, man, you peed on me. >> jimmy: good save. good save. [ laughter ] yeah. they went right back into it. >> steve: yeah, right back to it. >> jimmy: right back into it. >> steve: good bless america. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: this is from @aeriek she says, "i fell into a mud puddle, and screamed leave me here. i belong here -- to my friends trying to help me out." [ laughter ] that's so sad. that totally feels like something you would be like. i belong in a mud puddle. [ light laughter ] you love you guys. you're my best friend. >> steve: i just peed on the guy i was making out with. >> jimmy: i just peed on the guy i was making out with. [ laughter ] >> oh, man. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nice one, brother. here's our last one here. this is from our very own questlove.ri he says, the drunkest he ever got -- "met jimmy fallon one day at a roots show. he asked me and my band to leave an 18 year institution and come join him. i just came too." there you go. there you have it. "'late night' hashtags." check out all these and more of our favorites. go to latewithjimmyfallon.com. we'll be right back with amy poehler, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ wind blowing ] ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our first guest stars on the great nbc comedy "parks and recreation." which airs thursdays at 9:30 p.m. please welcome, back to the show, one of our favorites -- our pal, amy poehler! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's happening? what's up? >> hi. it's nice to be back. nice to see you. >> jimmy: what's up, poehler? >> oh, my god, i'm happy to be here. i had, like, a drama the other day. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> well, i was -- it was the night before, i was going to get on the plane to come to new york because i'm in los angeles right now. and my -- this is a big

hollywood secret. >> jimmy: uh-oh. >> but i have a little veneer on one of my teeth, because i chipped it when i was, like, in high school. and i got it fixed. and -- i know. i know. >> jimmy: it's a big secret, yeah. >> it's big deal. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's going to be all over the blogs tomorrow. i mean, parez hilton. he just text me, just now. i cannot believe it. >> they're going to be like, people fix their teeth in hollywood? what? >> jimmy: they don't just brush them and floss? >> but, i remember before i was on "snl," i -- you know, my tooth was kind of chipped, and then lorne was like, "shall we fix the teeth? --" >> jimmy: even in the nicest way. >> he was like, "hey, are we ready for that or should we --" and i remember thinking, like, "no, way, that's mean, man. like, that's who i am." like -- >> jimmy: i have a chipped tooth, man. >> i remember thinking, like, "that's like -- that's my -- that's who i am. like, my tooth is --" >> jimmy: my personality. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then i saw myself on screen and i was like, "oh, i'm going to fix that tooth right away." [ laughter ] i look like a hillbilly. >> jimmy: i look like a hillbilly. >> so anyway.

so, i had a little veneer, which is a technical, hollywood term for when you fix your tooth. >> jimmy: which one is it? which tooth? >> it's this one. no, don't go too close. but, doctor -- dr. keen in beverley hills, did a great job. but -- but anyway, so -- i -- i was -- this story is all over the place. i'm sorry. but, i was skyping with my family. >> jimmy: you skype? >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah, i know skype. i only tried it once, and my parents couldn't figure it out. [ laughter ] it was awful. >> jimmy, gloria could not figure it out? >> jimmy: didn't know -- they didn't know. kept looking off. >> they just kept looking up at the ceiling? >> jimmy: they were looking up at the ceiling. [ laughter ] they didn't know where the camera was. it was, like, awful. my dad was wearing, like, two sets of glasses. i don't know why. if one wasn't enough, he went for double. >> he was talking into his coffee mug. >> jimmy: it was like -- they lost their mind. they made aluminum foil hats. [ laughter ] okay, so you skype with your family. >> so skyping with my family. and my kid, my son archie really likes it when i do silly things. you know, he's 2 1/2. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and he laughs when i rip tape off of a roll.

like, he thinks it's really funny. [ light laughter ] i don't know. try it. but like, i rip it off, and i make a sound. and we all laugh. so, i said, let -- like, "you guys, i got a great bit archie loves, let me show it to you." and i went to go rip off the tape, and my thing -- my tooth popped out. >> jimmy: he must have been frightened out of his mind. >> and i started screaming. like, i started screaming. and then all of the kids started crying. because there were like eight kids. [ laughter ] [ screaming ] and i'm like, "i'm fine! i'm fine! i'm fine!" >> jimmy: you have no -- >> and all i thought about was, like -- oh, my god. i have to do jimmy's show tomorrow. and -- like -- i was like, how am i going to do this? like, i'm going -- >> jimmy: you come out missing a tooth. >> i thought i was going to have to come on, and you -- and i was going to act really coy. like an actress who doesn't care. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i was going to be like, hey, how is it going? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you weren't going to tell me? >> try to talk without opening -- without showing your teeth, and be like, ask me a question. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. so, how was the flight over here? >> it was pretty good. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: you really -- you really have, like, a nicole ritchie thing. you can do her. you can imitate her. yeah. [ light laughter ] >> anyway, but i fixed it in time. >> jimmy: yeah, you did. i'm glad. and speaking of your family, your parents did an interview. i love your parents. they did an interview with "the wall street journal." >> yes. >> jimmy: why would you let them do that? >> well, i -- i called my dad to give him test questions before. and he failed every test question. it was so funny. because i was like -- "okay, dad, what if they say -- you know, 'parks and recreation' took a little break and was off the air. did, you know -- did you guys miss it when it was gone?" and my dad is like, "the thing about nbc is --" and i was like, "what are you doing?" >> jimmy: the thing about nbc is -- thanks dad. >> i was like, "no, no, no, you just say, 'we're happy it's back on.'" >> jimmy: we love amy. >> he just kept being like, "show business is a fickle mistress." >> jimmy: oh, my god. mr. famous. mr. famous. i always think about your dad at your wedding, the sweetest coolest thing i've ever seen in my life, when he surprised you.

him and his buddies got up and sang -- danced to "new york, new york." >> yeah, they did. >> jimmy: that was so cool. they had canes. >> it was really nice. they got top hats and canes. >> jimmy: top hats and canes and you did not know about it. >> and the best thing is, they -- >> jimmy: everyone was crying. >> the best thing is they rehearsed for, like, three months. and then, the minute the song started, they were all off. >> jimmy: off, yeah. [ laughter ] one guy was -- [ laughter ] >> and it was like -- >> jimmy: it was awful. but, it was so sweet. >> it was really sweet. it was really sweet. >> jimmy: that's was the coolest thing a dad could do. >> and they didn't even tell my mom. they hid it from my mom. and my mom was like, "oh, my god." like, she was -- like -- she was nervous and horrified. >> jimmy: with a boston accent. >> she was like, "oh, my god. i was horrified, and then i was ecstatic." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you -- and ecstatic. you and will both imitate your parents. >> yes. we, well -- we do it to them. you know? we talked about that in that article. but we just called and we're like, -- [ in boston accent ] oh, my god --" we just have conversations with them, at them, and we do both sides. >> jimmy: she like calling during the academy awards? >> yeah. like, my mom called -- i talked to her during the oscars. she was like -- [ in boston accent ] "oh, my god. that kurt douglas. get him out of there." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: get him out of there.

everyone -- oh, my gosh. it was sweet. >> i could do them all day. sorry. >> jimmy: "parks and recreation." >> yes. >> jimmy: super hit. i'm so psyched. congratulations. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so happy. on the cover of "entertainment weekly." it was amazing. >> thank you. yeah, we're really -- we're just so happy that -- how things are going. and i'm really proud of the episodes that are coming up. >> jimmy: they're so good and you have an amazing cast, obviously. but then -- >> yeah, it's the best. >> jimmy: you have a little -- couple additions. >> yes. >> jimmy: you have rob lowe. >> yes. young blood. >> jimmy: young blood. >> it's how i like to refer to him. >> jimmy: he's a funny dude. >> soda pop. soda pop. >> jimmy: he came on here. super funny dude. >> yep. >> jimmy: adam scott. >> yes. terrific actor. >> jimmy: great, great guy. he's a genius. >> so, funny. he was on here, too. >> jimmy: he was on here, too. we have -- we have special guests. will forte. >> uh-huh. the best. >> jimmy: come on. >> we've have forte and -- >> jimmy: you know when forte grew his neck beard? >> yes. he is so weird. >> jimmy: you just screw the hair around here. [ laughter ] >> he's so weird. he's so weird with his hair. >> jimmy: weird dude, right? >> he would put -- he would shave.

like, i don't know how much i can tell. but he would shave his beard, and then he would sprinkle his hair on people's keyboard. [ laughter ] like an animal. >> jimmy: he's a great, great man. >> he is an animal. >> jimmy: megan mullally is -- >> yes. and, but my dream -- my dream is, you know -- we have this character that we talk about on the show but you never see. which is the mayor of pawnee. my dream is -- like -- >> jimmy: i love his name. what's his name? >> mayor gunderson. >> jimmy: mayor gunderson. >> and his dog's name is rufus. and we talk a lot about his dog. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but we've never seen him and i -- i'm just like dying. i think bill murray would be amazing. and i don't know bill murray. i met him a couple times, nicely, at "snl." >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i know he watches this show every night. >> jimmy: religiously. >> yes. he gives you notes in the morning about it. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. nothing but bill murray. all the time. >> so, i want to take an opportunity to address him, if i could. because i don't -- i think he's watching. i have a feeling that after a long day. >> jimmy: yep. relaxing. >> he relaxes by watching your show. >> jimmy: on a tiny screen. i don't know why.

>> i don't know. >> jimmy: yeah, he doesn't have a big screen. >> is this thing -- >> jimmy: yes, no, yes. >> okay. >> jimmy: do you want to -- do you want to say something? >> i feel like bill murray doesn't have a phone or phone number. i think i've heard that he doesn't have any people that work for him. i've read articles. he's very elusive, like all talented people are. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know how to do it. >> but -- >> jimmy: you know how to play it. you know how to play it. >> and also, maybe i should do it without showing any teeth. so, i seem like i'm serious. >> jimmy: yes, yes. seem like you're serious. no teeth on this one. >> bill murray, if you're listening -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's watching too. >> i will pay you $250 to do one episode of my show. >> jimmy: my, god. he's totally going to take you serious. that's -- that's going to work. bill murray call amy poehler, will you please? >> i love you. >> jimmy: you guys, "parks and recreation" airs thursdays at 9:30 p.m. right here on nbc. amy poehler, everybody! we'll be right back with tiger woods! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. our next guest this evening is one of the most famous athletes in the world and one of the greatest golfers of all time with 71 tournament wins, including 14 wins and major championships. he's here tonight to tell us about the new version of his new video game, tiger woods pga tour 12, the masters. please welcome back, friend of the show, tiger woods, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: yeah! tiger woods, thanks for coming back our show. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: it's been a year and half since you were on our show. >> yup, yup. >> jimmy: what have you been up to? [ laughter ] >> nothing. nothing. playing bad golf. >> jimmy: yeah. i want to say thank you for having the courage to come on late-night comedy program. i appreciate it. honestly, i've got to commend you for that, thank you for doing that. because it must have been painful and awful situation the whole thing you went through. but from a comedian's standpoint, and my monologue writers, thank you. [ laughter ] some of the greatest comedy ever. [ cheers and applause ] i mean you must have heard every golf joke in the history -- but then it's like a magical thing that happens, you're in awful pain and we laughed at your pain and i mean -- just, i mean, not even to be making jokes, it kind of wrote itself. [ laughter ] i mean -- balls, shaft, holes, foursomes. i mean it really writes itself. i just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you. >> you got it. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: here you are. i'm happy you're getting things together and your game is getting good. i just saw your pad, your new house, is insane. you have your own country, congratulations. [ laughter ] it's the biggest place i've ever seen in my life. it's like a golf nerds dream. >> absolutely it is. >> jimmy: it's a golf nerds barbie dream house. >> it really is. it really is. >> jimmy: you have a swimming pool, like inside the swimming pool. it's like -- and you have a thing where you can run in water? what is that? it looks like a giant -- a sidewalk. >> no, it's just a track so i can do my 40s. >> jimmy: gosh, and you just get there and just workout all day? >> yeah, it's kind of nice. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have a course in your backyard. it really is acres of land. it is crazy. that can be changed to -- >> yeah what we have is four different greens and all the different sands that we play on tour from -- >> jimmy: like if you're playing some tour in -- >> in say augusta, for example, we have that sand on a particular green, we have the british open sand -- >> jimmy: the sand is different in each --

>> absolutely. >> jimmy: gosh. i mean i don't play that way at all. [ laughter ] i'm awful, i mean. it's like a bat cave for a golfer. it's so cool. now, you had a top 10 finish at doral last weekend, 66 you shot on sunday. that is good buddy. you feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] >> i am. i am. i am, thank you. >> jimmy: looking good. you're doing different things though now. you're switching things up, using different -- like you're using a different putter for each green? or different greens? that's weird, right? >> no, no, not quite that. >> jimmy: oh no, did i just make that up? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i made that up. >> that's okay, though. >> jimmy: yeah. but you use the same stuff? >> yeah, but basically i'm changing my game a little bit, changing my technique. >> jimmy: do you feel like the older you get, that you have to change your game completely? do you feel like the same tiger? >> i feel a lot older. >> jimmy: you do, yeah. cause you -- i only did a golf tournament once in palm springs. it's three days of golf. i was limping by the third day. i go, i've never been exhausted

from golf in my life. i usually go, drink beers -- >> that's what shocks ya at that point. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. security drags you off the course. >> you gotta walk, too. >> jimmy: it is tough for me. you see me walk out there earlier? that was awful. [ laughter ] but let's talk about this new game, my friend. this is awesome -- tiger woods 12, the masters. i gotta say, i like tiger woods 10, because if you remember i played you in times square. >> yeah, i know you beat me. blah, blah, blah. >> jimmy: did i? [ cheers and applause ] i don't remember. are you sure? i don't remember. at least i wasn't a sore winner. we have a clip. i wasn't a sore winner. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: that was amazing. 83 foot putt! well you're good, you're a gentleman. [ cheers and applause ] >> ah, so good. >> jimmy: but the masters is a cool thing. you've won the masters four times.

>> correct. >> jimmy: what do you do with the jackets? those green blazers. can you wear them anywhere? >> no. >> jimmy: you can't even put them on and wear it out to dinner? >> no, it's not a cool looking jacket. >> jimmy: do you just frame them in your house? >> amy: jimmy, st. patrick's day is coming up. >> jimmy: oh my gosh! [ cheers and applause ] you're gonna wear the masters blazer on saint patty's day, you're crazy. that is genius. you have to do that. but this game has got crazy graphics in this one. especially with augusta, do you have like down to the -- >> they lasered the whole golf course. even the par 3 course, and -- >> jimmy: what does that mean, like with a helicopter? >> no, they put lasers all over the golf course -- the grid of the whole golf course and basically it's within six millimeters of the actual golf course. i mean, it's as close to perfection as you could possibly can get. >> jimmy: that's so cool! >> well technology is amazing. >> jimmy: it's crazy. and you've got a new thing called the caddy experience on this game. >> i know. >> jimmy: i've got to say it's genius. because, i again, i don't have a caddy. i don't have a caddy. no, i just go out by myself, and seriously, please come chase me and get me off the course.

i'm awful, but -- caddies, you need. i had a caddy once, i was in ireland. >> there's no way you could have understood him. no chance. >> jimmy: the guy is like, -- [ in irish accent ] "you got to hit it over there." i'm like, "the hole is there." he's like, "well it's very windy." [ laughter ] did i say ireland? i meant scotland. [ cheers and applause ] oh, hey we got some scottish people. >> amy: st. paddy's day coming up, you can work on your accent. -- wear one of those green blazers and you can work on your irish accent. >> jimmy: i got to do work on that. but you need a caddy, though. he tells you what to do. right? he kind of -- >> carries the bag, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, carries the bag. >> catches the clubs i throw. >> jimmy: yeah, when you're frustrated. who's your caddy? what's his name? >> steve. >> jimmy: steve. do you like steve? you have to hang out with him? >> no, he's a good dude, man. >> jimmy: you like him? >> yeah. we talk about racing all the

time. >> jimmy: what do you mean racing? >> he races cars. >> jimmy: he races cars? he's nuts. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: i mean who races -- that's a crazy sport. >> he's actually number one ranked new zealand driver. >> jimmy: is that right? is there anything you don't like about him? >> ohh, i'm not saying it on air. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, very smart, very smart. we should talk quickly about the tiger woods foundation, too. it's going, 15 years you're doing this? >> 15 years and we've helped over 10 million kids now. so it's going really well. >> jimmy: that's wild. and you get to see them grow up? [ cheers and applause ] is that weird, meeting -- feeding childs 15 years ago? >> what we're doing is, we have these programs in which these kids are able to learn and grow but also go to college and a lot of those it's the first person of their entire family to ever go to college. and what they do, is once they go to college, we want them as ambassadors and mentors to come back and they end up teaching the next generation of kids. so it's a perpetual wheel of learning and it's great to have them as role models. once they learn how to do it, we give them the responsibility of becoming one and it's amazing what happens. >> jimmy: that's so cool. i love that you do that. i know you have the masters coming up. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i gotta say, i'm rooting for you buddy. i want you to go -- i want you to come back, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] hey, when we come back, we're

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♪ welcome to town house. where good times reside. hey, everybody. i'm back here with amy poehler and tiger woods. we're about to play a round of tiger woods pga tour 12, the masters, which is set at augusta

national where tiger is going to be playing the masters next month. we're on the 12th hole right now, this is augusta, it's called golden bell. its a par 3, we're going to be driving over a raised creek. we should carrying a little bit of wind, left to right. [ light laughter ] amy poehler, why don't you go first. >> amy: okay. i just want to thank all of you for coming out -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. it's not a microphone. it's not a microphone. >> amy: sorry. >> jimmy: it's a game controller. >> amy: okay, okay. i do not really play -- oh, look at my -- oh, i don't talk into this? >> jimmy: no you don't talk into it. >> amy: look at my caddy. >> jimmy: yeah, he's cool. >> he looks like he's a good race car driver. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey wait a sec. >> here we go. i believe i press this. oh, there is my avatar. >> jimmy: you're looking good, buddy. >> amy: just came from a cruise. where, her and her wife celebrated their 2nd anniversary. [ laughter ] okay. here we go. >> jimmy: yep. yep. yep. >> amy: and --

my husbands going to be so mad at this swing. [ grunts ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> no. >> jimmy: wow. [ sad tuba ] [ cheers and applause ] >> amy: this is really hard. golfing is really hard. there we go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: even fake golfing is hard. [ laughter ] whoa, whoa, whoa. hey. >> what was he thinking about? [ laughter ] okay. oh, boy, here we go. >> jimmy: anyone play with --? >> uh, just you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on buddy. hey, this is good. don't get nervous or anything. watch your aim, my friend. >> right there. is that good? >> jimmy: no, you were a little off. what is this called? >> is that better? >> jimmy: this is a tough hole? >> is it really? >> jimmy: well, that's what i hear. [ audience oohs ]

i don't like this. >> right there, right there. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're very competitive. >> i thought you said this was a tough hole? >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. unbelievable. the game doesn't talk to you like this, by the way, when you buy the game. it's nice to you. here we go. >> amy: let's see your avatar. >> jimmy: it looks like jose canseco's brother. [ laughter ] >> there's water, a bunker. >> jimmy: there's not water bunkers. here we go. come on, bowsy wowsy. >> someone's watching. >> jimmy: oh no. [ audience ohs ] >> oh. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: why?

>> wow. >> jimmy: why? you should do that. >> in a tournament, if i hit the green at 12 should i do that, in the tournament? >> jimmy: you should just do that in the tournament. you just break out a microphone and sing "you make me feel like dancing." if you sing "you make me feel like dancing," it would awesome. >> amy: okay. >> jimmy: come on, pals. >> amy: here we go. i saw you guys were doing the one-handed swing, so i'm gonna try that. [ light laughter ] okay. yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nice. very nice. you go again my friend. >> amy: after i hit my avatar always is like thinking about something else. >> jimmy: she's daydreaming a bit, yeah. >> amy: god, i wish -- i wish tiger woods was here to help me with this. [ laughter ] oh wait, he is! okay. >> jimmy: and -- >> amy: and -- >> jimmy: bank shot. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ >> i'm up. >> jimmy: you're up. >> amy: tiger, you got to do that if you -- >> i'm not doing that. >> jimmy: come on! >> amy: you got to do it. everyone's doing it. everyone's doing it. part of the game now. oh, what's this? >> jimmy: all right, here we go. ready? >> amy: what's happening here? oh. you're in the matrix. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] [ sad tuba ] >> jimmy: wait, i have to hit it now again? >> amy: look, your caddy is so disappointed in you. >> jimmy: yeah, he's bummed out. i like how i fit in my khakis. [ laughter ] kind of got the same thickness in thigh and ankle. [ laughter ] pretty awesome. weird cankles.

[ light laughter ] here we go. going down. point down. >> jimmy: this is awful. i get to go again, don't i? >> uh-huh. >> okay. >> jimmy: gosh. we have a time limit on this, this is insane. all right, ready? here we go. >> amy: i just want to take this time to --

♪ i never felt like this before ♪ ♪ yes i swear it's the truth ♪ ♪ and i owe it all to you ♪ ♪ because i had the time of my life ♪ >> jimmy: amy, go for the win. >> that's okay. >> jimmy: is it all right? >> no >> amy: for the win? >> jimmy: yeah, go for the win. >> amy: no way. >> jimmy: come on, pal. >> amy: okay, here we go. >> jimmy: all right. ready? >> come on, amy. >> jimmy: come on, amy. >> amy: this is me? >> jimmy: oh this is me, sorry. >> amy: no this is you. >> jimmy: oh sorry. again he says. all right -- are my fingers not -- oh, i see. here we go. >> amy: jimmy -- you can do this. you can do this. >> jimmy: thank you.

help me obi wan kenobi. you're my only hope. oh, boy. i'm awful at this. what's that stupid thing i did at the end? i don't do that in real life. [ laughter ] that's the weirdest thing. no, you're avatar does that. mine goes -- do you ever want to golf with us? >> just out of curiosity, how long is this show? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: unbelievable. okay. okay. all right. you're up, amy. >> amy: really? >> jimmy: yeah, you're up again. >> amy: okay. >> jimmy: come on poehler. >> amy: okay, here we go. here we go. wow. i got a lot of junk in the trunk. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my humps, my humps, my humps. my lovely lady humps. >> amy: okay, roots, this one's for you roots. there we go. oh, sorry. press and hold okay, sorry. >> whoa.

>> amy: oh, that level tell you what to do. so, just a little tip tap. there we go. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: not too shabby. you didn't make your daydreaming face. here we go, again. >> amy: it's so weird that tiger's -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: tiger, you wanna play? [ laughter ] i had too many red bulls before the show i think. you can't be closer to me. please go, tiger. >> okay, thank you. ♪ islands in the stream that is what we are ♪ ♪ no one in between [ sad tuba ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. you go again. >> amy: is like bache? where you -- >> jimmy: for the win. tiger woods, everybody! there you go!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ tiger woods, pga tour 12, the masters, on available on march 29th. our thanks to amy poehler and tiger woods! we'll be right back. ♪ ..

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♪ we have a big show -- a big coming up tomorrow night. howard stern is going to be here. [ cheers and applause ] penn and teller are going to be stopping by. and we have music from leon russell. it's going to be a great show. see you back here tomorrow night. my thanks to amy poehler, tiger woods! the champ. the greatest band in "late night" the roots, right there, everybody! stay tuned for "carson daly." thanks for watching.

have a good night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪