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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  May 19, 2011 3:05am-4:00am PDT

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♪ no woman no cry no woman no cry no woman no cry no woman no cry ♪ ♪ said i remember when we used to sit in the government yard in trenchtown ♪ ♪ observing the hypocrites yeah mingle with the good people we meet ♪ ♪ good friends we have
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oh, good friends we've lost along the way, yeah in this great future ♪ ♪ we can't forget our past so dry your eyes, i say yeah no woman no cry ♪ ♪ no woman no cry hey, little darling don't shed no tears no woman no cry ♪ ♪ well, said i remember when we used to sit in the government yard ♪ ♪ in trenchtown and then georgie
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would make the fire light yes, he did ♪ ♪ as log wood would burn through the night then we would cook corn meal porridge ♪ ♪ yes, we did of which, i'll share with you my feet is my only carriage but so i've got to ♪ ♪ push on through and so i say everything's ♪ ♪ going to be all right everything's going to be all right everything's ♪ ♪ going to be all right everything's going to be all right everything's ♪ ♪ going to be all right everything's going to be all right everything's ♪ ♪ going to be all right
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everything's going to be all right no woman no cry ♪ ♪ no woman no cry hey, little darling don't shed no, no, no tears ♪ ♪ no woman no cry [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew.
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and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, guys. that's a great crowd right there. thank you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. you guys feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] very good. this is completely, completely insane. just a month after misplacing a cobra, the bronx zoo spent today looking for its missing female peacock. [ laughter ] yeah. you know what else the bronx zoo should be looking for? a new zookeeper. [ laughter ] "it's just too much to keep
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track of. i got my keys, i got my hat. did i mention my keys? i got to keep track of those things. [ laughter ] where are my keys?" actually, i'm not surprised nobody was watching the peacock. i mean, take a look at it. [ laughter ] yeah. [ applause ] pretty much anything before 12:37 -- [ laughter ] -- that's when they start watching. this is pretty crazy. a tsa screener in kansas city is facing criticism for giving a pat down to an 8-month-old baby. i mean, right? i mean, you don't -- you don't pat down a baby. you stick him in a tray and run him through the x-ray machine. [ laughter ] see you on the other side. [ cheers and applause ] he's got my boarding pass. he's got my boarding pass. i was just reading about this. apparently, moammar gaddafi hasn't been seen since april 30th. you guys thinking what i'm thinking? nose job. [ laughter ] right? "i had a deviated septum. what, no i had -- [ laughter ] yeah, they took at little off here and there -- so what? who doesn't? tummy tuck, too? i lied."
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did you see this? the secret service started a twitter account this week to update the public on job openings. [ laughter ] yeah, because if there's one thing you want to announce to the world, it's when the secret service is understaffed. [ laughter ] that's what you want. very smart move. this is big. the white house announced that the $50 million award for osama bin laden's whereabouts won't be going to anyone. yeah. then china was like, "want to bet?" [ laughter ] hey, check this out. new york city's new nissan taxis will soon come with a kinder, gentler car horn. yeah. you can actually hear a slight difference. here's the old horn. [ beep ] here's the new horn. ♪ i will remember you [ laughter and applause ] ♪ will you remember me [ cheers and applause ] "come on! the light turned green!
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come on!" some -- some political news. in a new interview with "rolling stone," donald trump said he uses head and shoulders shampoo. analysts say this could lead to a huge boost in sales for every other brand of shampoo. [ laughter ] "beautiful, thanks. it's my hair. it's gorgeous. it's beautiful. [ applause ] gary busey, what do you think of my hair?" "i think it's a magical dragon. [ laughter ] holding a stick a stick of dynamite in his mouth." this is interesting. the number of millionaires in the u.s. is expected to double by the year 2020. of course, by then being a millionaire will just mean you have a full tank of gas. [ laughter ] and finally, police here in new york found a man on the beach carrying a gun and claiming that he was adrift at sea for days. or as obama put it, "we did really check to make sure bin laden was dead, right? we did?"
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[ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. hercules. look right here, you guys. we have a book coming out may 23rd. "thank you notes." our book, our first book is coming out! [ cheers and applause ] a gift for graduation. a gift for dad. grads and dads. it's only 12 -- 12, 12 dozen bucks. one dozen bucks. one dozen bucks. yeah. you can probably even get it on sale, too. probably less than a dozen bucks. like -- a niner? [ laughter ] what is a niner? i don't even know. you guys, we have a huge show tonight. rock royalty is here. i can't even -- i get chills just saying his name. the one, the only, the legend, keith richards is here! [ cheers and applause ]
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man, i love that guy. he's the best. we also have paul bettany dropping by! [ cheers and applause ] he's got a big movie called "priest" opening this weekend. it's got 3d, it's got vampires -- people are going to go nuts for that. and performing another bob marley classic, jakob dylan is here. [ cheers and applause ] jakob dylan is amazing. he's going to do "i shot the sheriff" tonight. and i want to thank, again to our pals at land shark lager for sponsoring our show and making bob marley week possible. [ cheers and applause ] without them, we would be nothing! you guys, it's time for "late night" hashtags. here we go. ♪ ♪ hashtag, hashtag, hashtag hashtag, hashtag ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: these are lists on twitter where we give you the topics and you send in the tweets. now, as you know, prom season is in full swing. so, yesterday, i went on twitter
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and i started a hashtag called "prom disasters." and i asked you guys at home to tweet us something embarrassing or crazy that happened at your prom. we got thousands of tweets, in fact, within a half hour, it was a worldwide trending topic on twitter, which is huge. so, now, i thought i'd share some of my favorite prom disaster tweets from you guys. here we go. this first one is from @maddyms. he says, "heard my name being called on the speaker and thought i won prom king. no. it w just because my mom brought me my eye drops." [ laughter ] "oh, my gosh -- i got my eye drops. sorry, everybody. i just want to thank my mom." [ laughter ] this one's from @anniecupcake13. she says, "my date got a bloody nose, then sneezed and got blood all over my face. [ audience groans ] then said, hey, look, no blood on the tux!" [ laughter ] ah what a -- amazing. there's nothing -- oh, i'm so sorry. oh my god. carrie, come here. [ laughter ]
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this one's from @matthewburnside, he says, "my date's boob fell out and everyone saw it except me." [ laughter ] "what are you guys looking at? oh, my gosh -- what?" "should have saw it, man. it was amazing." this one's from @danzyte. he says, "my date grinded on me so hard that she broke the pocket watch my grandmother gave me." [ laughter ] "stop. you're going to -- break my grandma's pocket watch." [ laughter ] what? makes no sense. [ laughter ] this one's from @ryansepepperoni. he says, "accidentally tripped and fell while going to shake hands with my prom date's dad and ended up karate chopping his testicles." [ laughter ] [ women's voice ] "just have her home by 11:00, okay? [ laughter ]
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honey, how do we stop the bleeding?" this one's from @mcdoubleyoyo -- [ laughter ] she says, "another girl wore the same dress as me, and my date told me she filled it out better." [ audience ohs ] what a bum. i'm sure you filled it out just fine, @mcdoubleyoyo. [ laughter ] this ones from @icollegegirl. she says, "i dumped my date the day before the prom. he still came. he was in the background of every photo staring at me like a psycho." [ laughter and applause ] "sure you don't want to dance?" [ laughter ] this one's from @dariamallen. she says, "my date wore a jacket with tails, red plaid shorts ant sneakers. even worse, my dad kept talking about how cool he was." [ laughter ] "hey, if you don't take him, i will."
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"shut up, dad." last one here is from @corrinarosewhite. she sa, "as the photographer snapped the picture, my fake eyelash fell on my upper lip. mye oyfriend took hitler to his senior prom." [ laughter ] very good. and there you have it, you guys. tonight's "late night" hashtags. to check out more of our favorites, go to and we'll be right back with keith richards. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ 3q my busy family, the family with thousands of odors. like boomer, our boxer. our leftovers... from last night. and then there's phil. oh phil. but for every odor, our new air wick odor detect uses the latest smart odor sensor technology. the first air freshener that detects thousands of odors then automatically releases a burst of freshness...
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and i owe my great hair to head & shoulders. it gives me a healthy scalp and great looking hair. you making fun of me? no. you making fun of me? yes. [ male announcer ] head & shoulders. 7 benefits. 1 bottle. so every year my family throws this great reunion in austin. but this year, i can only afford one trip and i've always wanted to learn how to surf. austin's great -- just not for surfing. so i checked out hotwire. and by booking with them, i saved enough to swing both trips. see, hotwire checks the competition's rates every day so they can guarantee their low prices. that's how i got a 4-star hotel on the beach in san diego
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for half price. ♪ h-o-t-w-i-r-e ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. here we go, everybody. our first guest is the epitome of cool and indisputably one of the greatest guitarists in the history of rock 'n' roll. his best selling memoir "life" was recently released in paperback. is the best read. you guys got to pick this it up. it is my great honor to welcome from the rolling stones, mr. keith richards! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: this is fantastic. >> sit down, make yourself at home. >> jimmy: thank you so much. thank you for coming on for bob marley week. >> oh, man -- i've got to miss bob. >> jimmy: you had to, yeah. you've hung with bob marley? >> not a lot. but, i tell you, the first time i met bob -- was, we were doing a gig somewhere and we were in the dressing rooms and i was looking to say hello. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so, i was looking around and i smell this incredible smell. it was like fish -- and rice and stuff. >> jimmy: fish? [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: surprising. yeah, yeah. >> and so i open the door, and i realize that there was some herb involved. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] it was a different -- it wasn't oregano, was it? >> no rosemary. >> jimmy: no rosemary either,
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no. but it made the fish taste so much better. >> i know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'll have two servings, please, yeah. last time were you here we were talking about -- you have this place in connecticut, and you, you took a lemon from whole foods. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: and you, you planted a seed, and you actually have a giant lemon tree and it's making these giant -- giant lemons? >> they're enormous. >> jimmy: it's insane. they're giant, and then so i met you at party and you came out. and i said, "keith, good to see you." and you handed me one of these giant lemons. [ laughter ] and it was the coolest thing ever. and then maybe about, i'd say two months ago, i got a box in the mail from you. >> you got it? >> jimmy: and uh -- yeah. thank you so much. here it is. you gave me another lemon. look at these giant lemons. [ laughter ] to jimmy, one more -- [ cheers and applause ] -- keith. and i remember you saying -- they're like a giant grapefruit. and i go yeah, i know. and this thing is giant. so i actually have a present for you. my friend mario batali made you preserved moroccan lemon out of your lemon. look at this thing. it's like --
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[ cheers and applause ] >> going to get there. >> jimmy: yeah, i mean this is so -- but look at this -- this sharpie is still on where you signed it. so i -- [ laughter ] i hope that -- i don't think -- you know, i don't think you're afraid of any ink or something. it will go down -- yeah, exactly. but you cut this up. batali told me that you cut this up, the lemon. it's good now, it will be better in a week and it stays for a whole year. but, you cut it up in pieces -- >> i don't have much time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know, that's the truth. just have it after the show. yeah, yeah, yeah. i was reading this book, 'cause i know you're kind of a foodie. in this book you talk about -- there's a shepherd's pie thing that's very funny to me. >> oh, that -- yeah. my gourmet portion. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. the gourmet portion of the book where apparently when you're on tour, no one's allowed to touch your shepherd's pie. >> no. nobody was allowed to bust the crust. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the first slice has to be your slice? >> murder and mayhem go down if somebody's been in there before me. >> jimmy: but -- it's kind of a joke, right?
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you don't really care? >> no, not really that much, no. >> jimmy: no, no. i love sheppard pie. >> i love -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, exactly. why not? come on, you can. but i mean, this book, the last time were you here it was just about to come out. and, gosh, was it a hit. >> yeah, it was. >> jimmy: i mean, congratulations, i mean -- >> i totally surprised myself. >> jimmy: it did, yeah. but did you think it would be this big? i mean you got crazy, crazy, great reviews on this book. >> i know. everybody thought i'd bought the "new york times." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what did he do? yeah. but i mean gosh, you got great reviews and it's such a fun book. it's such -- so many fun stories in there. i mean, any stones, or any fan of music in general will love this book. but i love it just reading about, like, the whole stones/beatles stuff and, you know, you always hear all of these stories. but to hear it from you, it's such a different thing. you go like, oh, really? like did you -- did you hate each other? >> no. i mean, i mean, it was totally the opposite, and also, like were the only sort of two things really happening. you understand? we would like -- paul or john would call us up and say -- we've got a single, and you know, we've "day-tripper" but
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it's not mixed yet. and we'd say well, we've got "paint it black" finished. so, it was like okay, you go first. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is amazing. 'cause you always felt like, oh, they don't talk. they don't like each other. >> yeah -- [ talking over each other ] i understand how people can see things as a competition. but, amongst yourself as musicians and the people that are making records -- hey, why clash? >> jimmy: yeah, i guess so, so let's work together. yeah, that's pretty wild. i mean, and i just -- there's a picture here that's in the book. it's you and paul mccartney in 2005 just hanging out in turks and caicos. >> we do. we do. >> jimmy: yeah. >> when we get spare time. >> jimmy: yeah. did you guys ever record together? ever think of doing an album together, or anything? >> the thought is there. the actual deed is still to be done. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: such a legendary thing to say. "the thought is there. the deed has actually yet to be done." but, there's great pictures in this book. i mean this car, boy. he loves -- bluelina. >> bluelina. >> jimmy: come on. look at this -- a bentley. from what i know from the
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book -- this is a bentley car. >> still got it. >> jimmy: you still have it? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: and it's made out of like german war parts. >> i wouldn't go that far. that was another car that i crashed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, it was a different one, yeah. but this guy -- >> i named this one after lena horne. >> jimmy: yes -- boy, oh, boy. did lena horne hold a lot of -- lot of drugs in this one. [ laughter ] and this is -- this is a very -- i mean, you hid a lot of stuff in it. >> it's got a large trunk. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, it's fantastic. and then this one, i just love because this just epitomizes rock 'n' roll. you coming off a private plane -- look at this. you have one button buttoned. [ laughter ] a bottle of jack daniels -- three limo drivers. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's rock 'n' roll. >> jimmy: i mean, come on. that is just fantastic. it's just -- it's such a fun, fun read. i -- i also got the audio book as well, just cause i'm also a fan of -- johnny depp. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he does a nice thing in the book.
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a great job reading. that guy is such a cool dude, isn't he? and you guys hang out together. it must be -- >> yeah -- i just saw him. i saw him on saturday. >> jimmy: oh, did you really? >> yeah. doing -- we just did the premiere for "pirates." >> jimmy: and you got to do "pirates of the caribbean." >> yeah. >> jimmy: now, you were in the last one, and i have to say in the movie theater, i saw it crushed. i mean, people went nuts, 'cause they didn't expect you to be there. cause he's kind of doing an impression of you. or he asked you permission -- just for his jack sparrow character. >> johnny can get away with murder. >> jimmy: yeah, he can just do whatever he wants. >> i think i taught him how to walk around the corner backwards or something like that. >> jimmy: oh, really? yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. you'd never. >> and with that -- you know, that hand thing. >> jimmy: and the hand thing. [ laughter ] i love that. i love that. [ cheers and applause ] he seems like a great dude. now, is your part -- is the part meatier in this one? is -- is it bigger part? >> it's not particularly longer. but there is, it's more of a conversation between johnny and myself. >> jimmy: father and son. >> i basically -- i set up, you know, what's going to happen. >> jimmy: yeah, okay, well
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that's good. >> tell you what you're going to need, and how it should be done and then i disappear. >> jimmy: well that's going to crush when i see it. we actually have an exclusive clip of the movie right now of keith richards and johnny depp in "pirates of the caribbean: on stranger tides." here's the actor keith richards, everybody. ♪ >> i heard you're putting together a crew. >> most people keep saying it. it must be true. >> i know where you're headed -- the fountain. >> have you been there? >> does this face looks like it's been to the fountain of youth? [ laughter ] >> depends on the lie. >> from the fountain, they'll be items required for the profane ritual. two chalices. >> on the map there was a chalice. >> two silver from the ponce de leon ship. you'll need both. >> for? >> for the riches. don't be a fool, jackie.
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the fountain will test you. mark my words. >> jimmy: yeah, come on! [ cheers and applause ] they're killing it. they're killing it! hey, keith richards, when we get back, you guys! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ on training days... i need the fuel to get me ahead of the pack. start with a breakfast that can't be beat. [ female announcer ] like the protein-packed sunrise subway melt. try it with juicy tomatoes, fresh toasted on flatbread. trying to stay on track? you've got to eat the best. [ female announcer ] like the orchard chicken salad sub. taste-riffic chicken with apples, tangy cranberries and crunch-ilicious celery on freshly baked bread. subway. the official training restaurant of apolo ohno. blake griffin. nastia liukin. and athletes everywhere.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm hanging out the one and only -- my man, keith richards here. his new book is out in paperback -- "life." i have to ask you, a lot of people are asking. do you think the rolling stones will be working this year? >> i'm trying to nail them down, but i don't want to crucify them. you know what i mean? >> jimmy: yeah, okay. i understand. yeah, yeah, yeah. 'cause i just visited you -- maybe it was two weeks ago. you were just -- you were in the studio. how do you -- do you do this a lot? you just go out and just like noodle around in the studios? 'cause it -- do you just -- >> well, i got to working with
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steve jordan, who's uh -- >> jimmy: amazing. >> -- the expensive winos, and you know, when inspiration hits, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] especially if there are new, maybe expensive wind-up record? who knows. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> probably, yeah. i don't want -- it's starting to blossom. >> jimmy: i mean, i don't want to say the songs you were doing, but, god. it was sounding phenomenal. it was great that night. i was like just sitting there blown away. like oh my god. like someone had to come and like close my jaw. like, it was like -- >> there will always be somebody to do that. >> jimmy: yeah, thank you, yeah. now, we -- when we were at the studio, you told me a joke. we were telling jokes back and forth. >> oh, right. yeah, we were. we were slinging a few. >> jimmy: you were much funnier than i was. but, i tried. do you remember that doctor one you told me? >> the doctor one. oh, right. uh, you ready? [ laughter ] guy goes into the doctor to -- to get the results of his tests. and he sits down and the doctor shakes his head.
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there's not very good news, i'm afraid. and he said, what do you mean? he says you've got ten. years? months? weeks? the doctor looked at his watch and goes, "nine." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on, that's what i'm talking about. we uh -- i quoted it like ten times since then. [ cheers and applause ] we wanted to give your fans a chance to ask you questions, so we went to twitter. and do you mind answering a few twitter questions? >> no, i don't mind -- >> jimmy: all right, here we go. bring up the old -- >> -- as long as they're in english. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, they are. yes, i swear. all right, this first one is from, @tmcurtisjr. he says who was your greatest influence in music growing up? >> growing up? i would say louis armstrong and billie holiday. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. i go back a long way you, know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like that. besides that, how about, like, what living artist would you say? >> oh, chuck berry -- obviously, you know one of my main men who i met. but -- a star on, like, who influenced me.
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wow. everybody. you know? i mean, muddy waters, t. boone walker, you know all kinds of -- >> jimmy: all that stuff. >> yeah. >> jimmy: good. this is from @twilighttildawn. she says when you're alone with your guitar, what song do you play? >> uh, the next one. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: gosh. i love it. i love it i love it. there's only one you. i love this -- that you are here. this is from @justin1194. he says what is your favorite beatles song? >> oh, i've always told mccartney, "please, please me." >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i love that. >> i just love the chimes and the -- >> jimmy: harmony. >> -- i love the chime. yeah, it's beautiful. >> jimmy: oh, it's a great song. >> mind you, there's plenty of others, but if i've got to pick one. >> jimmy: yeah. >> "please, please me." oh, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, love it. [ laughter ] oh, so good. this last one's from @mikehodgy who says if you see a cockroach do you think, some day, it'll be just you and me, buddy. [ laughter ] >> someday, i think he's going to be lunch. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: oh good, you can have him with this. hey -- you guys, we have a special little treat for you guys here, from keith. he's giving everyone in the audience of copy of "life." [ cheers and applause ] keith richards. pick up his book "life" in stores now. catch him on the big screen may 20th in "pirates of the caribbean: on stranger tides." paul bettany joins us next, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that's going to go right in your glove. ohhh. oh. see that? great job. ok, now let's get ready for the ball... here it comes... here you go. good catch. perfect! alright now for the best part. let's see your pour. ohhh...let's get those in the bowl. these are way too good to waste, right? oh, yea. let's go for it... around the bowl and... [ male announcer ] share what you love... with who you love. mmmmm. kellogg's frosted flakes... they're g-r-r-reat!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest this evening is a talented and versatile actor. you know him from such movies as "a beautiful mind" and "the da vinci code." his new movie is a big 3d vampire flick called "priest." it opens everywhere this friday. please welcome to the show,
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paul bettany, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> well, now, that's a tough act to follow. >> jimmy: i mean, come on. how fun is keith richards? >> unbelievable. >> jimmy: did you meet him backstage? >> you totally stitch me up. >> no, i did not. come on, you'll be great. you -- you should be -- i mean you're stitched up already because, the beautiful, your wife, the gorgeous, my favorite, jennifer connelly. >> yeah. i'm about to have another baby. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. like -- like now? >> like -- like immediately, and we -- we made this decision, not to -- not to find out whether it's a boy or a girl. and now i'm really nervous, because, you know, i'm a really overprotective father. i've got two boys and now i'm wondering, you know what it's going to be like if i have a girl? i'm going to be, you know, crazy. >> jimmy: nice. it will be great. do you have your phone on you
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just in case something goes down? no, but i have somebody backstage whose going to run out and whisk me off. >> jimmy: it's not keith richards? is it? >> yes. it is. >> jimmy: no, no, no. trust me. get somebody else to do that for you. >> no, i'm sort of -- >> jimmy: you'll be a good dad for a girl. >> my sons are the first -- you know, the night before my kids went to school, first time, i was -- i was teaching them to punch properly. right? >> jimmy: wait, what grade is this? >> well, he's 4-years-old. he's about to go to preschool. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. okay. just making sure. yeah. you've got to teach him how to punch somebody. >> yeah, exactly. my wife came in and said, "what are you doing?" >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i said, "i'm teaching him how to punch." and she said, "why?" and i said, "because, honey, he's going to school!" [ laughter ] and she said she'd been at that school 13 years and never saw one fight. i was filled with relief and also a bit of confusion as to -- what the [ bleep ] were they teaching my kids about school? >> jimmy: no, no. no, no. yeah.
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no. kids -- >> what was -- what was going on? so -- [ laughter ] so sure enough, a couple of years later, it happens that my kid comes on and said, "dad, i'm being -- i'm being bullied." and i look at my wife and i'm like, "see? you see? i told -- i told you." so i said, "you know, he wouldn't tell me who it was because he thought it was going to be embarrassing enough for me to come into school." the next morning is like a stakeout in the car. i wouldn't -- i wouldn't let him go into class until he pointed out the kid, and he said -- he said, "all right, there he is." i said, "which one is it?" he said, "the big one." i went, "all right. which one?" you know -- he said -- >> jimmy: you were going to get out and strangle the kid. >> i just wanted to go and talk to him. >> jimmy: come over here, you 4-year-old punk. yeah. >> no, no, no. now he's -- now he's about 10 years old. >> jimmy: oh, this is the real deal. oh, i hate bullies! >> so i go to him -- i said, "which one is he, the mean looking one? "the one with the cello?" [ laughter ] i said, "the one -- the one with the cello? get out of my car!" [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you kicked him out of
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the car? yeah! >> impossible! the kid who plays the cello is the bully. too exhausted by carrying that thing around with him all day. >> jimmy: well, congratulations on either it's a boy or girl. i know you'll be great parents and the best to jennifer. [ applause ] >> oh, thank you very much. >> jimmy: she's phenomenal. i love her. let's talk about "priest." >> yes sir. >> jimmy: this movie looks cool. this movie looks big. >> it's really, really -- it's really cool. >> jimmy: yeah, it is. it's super fun. and do you want to set up what it is? >> yeah. it's a -- you know -- it's a big sci-fi action movie in which i play a priest whose special forces soldier who -- who, you know, fights vampires, that's -- that's kind of the thing, and it's a revenge story. i -- my niece played by the beautiful lily collins, i don't know if you know her. she's just fantastic in the movie and she gets abducted and i go on a rampage where i just
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kick ass. >> jimmy: yeah. i mean, you're an action hero in this one. >> yeah, which is surprise because -- >> jimmy: like a fighting priest. >> -- i'm british and i start from a butch deficit. you know, so -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: come on. but you worked out, and you buffed up and you went nuts? >> i did. it took me eight months to look like a normal human being. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but -- >> i have the body of a reader, naturally, you know? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: but this movie, though, it does -- you do look like a tough guy in this thing, and it's in 3d. >> yes. >> jimmy: and it's nuts, and the maggie q. >> maggie q, who's just -- i mean, she's fantastic in the movie. she's just -- and she can really kick ass. >> jimmy: these are tough vampires, not like your "twilight" vampires. >> oh, no. i mean -- and i'm kind of proud to be -- you know, part of a film that made vampires scary again. you know? we've had these weird vampires that you want to take home to your mom or something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like those guys. >> give vampires back their balls. [ applause ] >> jimmy: is that the slogan?
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is that the slogan on the poster? >> i'm giving vampires back their balls. that's my thing. >> jimmy: yeah. bowls by the way is balls, here. i just want to let you know. [ laughter ] not bowls. you don't want to give them their bowls back. >> you don't want to give them bowls. >> jimmy: no. don't give them bowls. here they're like, thank you? >> that would just be weird, bowls and pottery. >> jimmy: wah-ah-ah-ah. yeah. they've got a mother's day. you guys, we have a clip of "priest." here's paul bettany. ♪ >> ye, though i walk through the valley of death, i will fear no evil. >> your words mean nothing to them. >> because i walk with --
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♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about! [ cheers and applause ] paul bettany, everybody. go see "priest" this weekend! jakob dylan performs next. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ curtis: welcome back to geico radio, it's savings, on the radio. gecko: and the next caller is doug from chico. doug: oh...hey there hey...! .ico, i wrote a song about it. gecko: alright, let's hear it! curtis: yeah jam session! doug: one, two... ♪ (singing) i got my motorcycle ♪ ♪ and my rv now i gotmore money. ♪ vo: geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. i'm gonna use less honey. i'm gonna text less.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> tonight's tribute to bob marley is brought to you by land shark lager. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, come back tomorrow night, you guys. one of the funniest ladies around. my good friend maya rudolph will be here! [ cheers ] from "parks and recreation," nick offerman is stopping by. another super funny dude. [ cheers and applause ] and continuing bob marley week, the one and only ms. lauryn hill will be performing. [ cheers and applause ] lauryn hill. oh, my goodness. our next guest is a grammy-winning artist who's here tonight as part of bob marley week to perform "i shot the sheriff" with a little help from the roots. please welcome dr. jakob dylan. here he is. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i shot the sheriff but i did not shoot the deputy
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i shot the sheriff ♪ ♪ but i did not shoot no deputy all around my home town they're trying ♪ ♪ to track me down they say they want to bring me in guilty for the killing ♪ ♪ of the deputy for the life of a deputy but i say i shot the sheriff ♪ ♪ but i swear it was in self defense i shot the sheriff
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and they say it ♪ ♪ is a capital offence sheriff john brown hated me for what i don't know every time that ♪ ♪ i plant a seed he said he said kill it before it grow ♪ ♪ he said kill it before it grow i say i shot the sheriff ♪ ♪ but i did not shoot the deputy i shot the sheriff but i did not ♪
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♪ shoot the deputy freedom came my way one day and i started out of town all of a sudden i saw ♪ ♪ sheriff john brown he was aiming to shoot me down so i ♪ ♪ so i shot him down and i say if i am guilty i will pay i shot the sheriff ♪ ♪ but i did not shoot no deputy i shot the sheriff but i did not ♪ ♪ shoot the deputy
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reflexes had the better of me one day fight their own with the bucket ♪ ♪ did so well one day it is bound to fall one day it is bound to fall and i say ♪ ♪ i shot the sheriff but i didn't shot the deputy i shot the sheriff but i didn't ♪ ♪ shoot the deputy i the sheriff but i didn't shoot the deputy
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i shot the sheriff ♪ ♪ but i didn't shoot the deputy ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it. that's the way you do it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: dr. jakob dylan, everybody. the roots! we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] however they come into the world,
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- that's right, cso we've got a list of things you can do to get active. - like jumping jacks. - or how 'bout push-ups? - sit-ups? - uh, maybe jumping rope? - yeah. or jogging. - uh, how about like a wheelbarrow race? - oh, yeah, that's a great idea. - but imagine actually trying to use him as a wheelbarrow, like stacking bricks on him and doing, like, doo-doo-doo. you know what i mean? - or yoga. - which is actually peaceful and quiet and not a lot of talking, so... - exactly. is he still looking at me? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to keith richards, paul bettany,
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jennifer hudson, jakob dylan! [ cheers and applause ] land shark lager for making bob marley week possible. and the greatest band in "late night," the roots! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "carson daly." thanks for watching. have a good night. i hope to see you guys tomorrow. thank you! [ cheers and applause ] ♪


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