tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC November 30, 2011 12:35am-1:35am PST
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hey, guys. welcome. welcome to our show. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. some campaign news. some campaign news, in honor of cyber monday, mitt romney's website offered sweatshirts and t-shirts for 40% off. not to be outdone, herman cain offered to take his clothes 100% off. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] the herman cain stuff, not good, not good. yesterday, a woman came forward and said she had an affair with cain that lasted 13 years. yeah, 13 years. i don't know who the accuser is, but i'm pretty sure we can rule out kim kardashian. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i think that's -- if i do the math right, carry the one. and, did you see this? in order to explain his 9-9-9 tax plan, herman cain just
released a short cartoon. unfortunately, today, he was accused of sexual harassment by wilma flintstone. isn't that just -- [ laughter ] i made that up. that's not true. >> steve: what? oh. [ laughter ] whew. >> jimmy: some more election news. a new tv ad is running in iowa, urging sarah palin to rethink her decision and join the presidential race. it gets weird at the end, when a voice says "i'm barack obama, and i approve this message." i get it now. [ cheers and applause ] i see what he did. speaking of obama, the president will attend three fund-raisers in new york city tomorrow to raise money for his reelection campaign. seriously? how about holding a fund-raiser to raise money for the united states. hello? [ cheers and applause ] can i get a what-what? can't even get a what-what anymore.
i was just reading about this. did you hear about this show? tlc is coming out with this new show about adults who are still virgins. [ laughter ] it's a weird show. every time you turn it on, it's over in 30 seconds. you go -- oh. [ laughter ] it's more of a commercial. i just saw this. vice president biden will travel to turkey to speak in an economic summit. when he heard he was giving a speech to turkey, biden was, like, "i am so sorry about thanksgiving." [ laughter ] this is -- [ laughter ] this is cool. an airport in amsterdam has a new vending machine that lets people make banners to welcome their relatives home. yeah, you can tell that it's in amsterdam, because the most popular banner is, "dude, sorry i forgot to pick you up." [ laughter and applause ] where am i? what is this? [ applause ]
and finally, oh, man, did you hear about this? on sunday, chargers kicker nick novak -- did you hear about this? he was caught on tv urinating on the sidelines during san diego's overtime loss to denver, marking the only time fans were really glad a player didn't go for two. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he didn't go for two on that one. we have a fantastic show tonight. a great actor, always interesting guest, we love it when he comes by. jesse eisenberg is here. [ cheers and applause ] he's a great guy. and a nice guy, too. she is the beautiful and talented star of usa's big hit spy show "covert affairs."
piper perabo is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] she's nice as well. and we got some great music tonight. music from the dodos featuring neko case. coming on together, they're combined. [ applause ] it's a great show, we got a great crowd. oh man, thanks so much for watching. earlier, i mentioned the news about herman cain. you know him, he's one of the republican presidential front-runners. and he used to be the ceo of godfather's pizza. well -- [ laughter ] he's already had two women come forward and accuse him of sexual harassment. then yesterday, he went on cnn and said that another one was going to come out and claim that she and cain had a 13-year extramarital affair. yeah, he's now denying allegations before people even make them. [ laughter ] this is crazy. anyway, we just got word that herman cain is about to do yet another press conference. so, let's see what this one's gonna be about. it's starting right now.
[ cheers and applause ] >> thank you for coming. i'm herman cain, the former and possibly future ceo of godfather's pizza. [ laughter ] and, i'm still in the race. now, yesterday i told y'all that a woman was gonna come forward and claim that she and i had an affair for 13 years. as i said, it's completely baseless and untrue, which is why i got out ahead of the story. [ laughter ] so while i'm at it, there are a few other completely baseless allegations that might come out about old herman cain that i also want to give you just a quick heads-up about. for instance, tomorrow, maybe, another woman might come forward and make more crazy allegations.
like that we met on march 12th, 2004 at 8:37 p.m. that i told her i was herman cain, the ceo of godfather's pizza and i had a piping hot sausage in my pants. [ laughter and applause ] then she'll probably say that i made her do a shot of jagermeister in the parking lot, and then took her to see the movie "finding nemo," and then i cried at the end and said "imagine getting lost in the ocean. that would be so scary." then, took her back to my place and introduced her to a new kind of stimulus package -- [ audience groans ] -- that i call my 69-69-69 plan. [ laughter and applause ] so just to be clear -- thank you. thank you. glad you all believe me. that did not happen. just fyi, for your information, baseless allegations. oh, speaking of fyi. remember that woman that said justin bieber was the father of her baby? yeah, just a quick heads-up.
she might, and i stress might come out and say that it was not justin bieber, but in fact me, herman cain, who is the father of her baby. that i was at the staples center that night. that i was the one who took her to the bathroom and made love to her for 30 seconds or less. [ laughter ] that's definitely baseless. she'll probably even say something ridiculous like that i was wearing a justin bieber wig at the time. [ laughter ] would you believe me, herman cain, if i put on a justin bieber wig? you know, i happen to have one right here. don't ask how i got it. see? see what i'm saying? come on, look at me. [ laughter ] baby, baby, baby, baby. [ cheers and applause ] ridiculous. baseless allegations. another heads-up, another b-t-w. [ light laughter ] in the coming weeks -- in the coming weeks, a man might come forward -- [ laughter ] -- and claim that i told him i
was, quote, "curious," and that i wanted to, quote, "munch on his breadstick and oil up them garlic knots for him." [ laughter ] c'mon -- ridiculous, completely baseless. so, when gary comes forward, remember i gave you the heads-up. [ laughter ] oh, a side note, one last quick fyi. another woman might come forward and claim my name isn't even herman cain. but rather, in fact, i'm dejuan shepard of east rutherford, new jersey, and that herman cain was the name of a businessman i killed in the billiards parlor on a spring break trip to georgia in 1978, and then took over his pizza business on the south side of atlanta. lies. baseless lies. just fyi, completely baseless. in closing, i'm dejuan shepard, herman cain. [ laughter ] i am herman cain. and i'm just happy they don't know about the really bad stuff. [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy herman cain, everybody. herman cain. hey guys, we got some sad news today that our friend, comedian patrice o'neal died from complications of a stroke. he was such a brilliant comic. all of us here were such big fans. we had him on the show in february, and he was hilarious. we just put the interview up on our site latenightwithjimmyfallon.com. go take a look at what a funny guy he was. look him up on youtube. he's just an honest, original, fearless comic. and he died too young, we're gonna miss him. we'll be right back with more "late night." ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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[ man ] i love you guys. [ laughs ] i mean, just, you know, the whole heist thing. just putting jewels in teddy bears. this guy's wearing a wire the whole time. right? look at that! he's wearing a wire! [ laughs ] all right, let's do this. all right? before my wife changes her mind. go. [ male announcer ] your favorite movies right when you want them.
watch unlimited tv episodes and movies instantly through your game console or other devices, all for only 8 bucks a month from netflix. no sequel for that guy. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back everybody. give it up for the roots, everybody. come on. [ cheers and applause ] sound great. the roots have a new album
coming out december 6th called "undun." go preorder it now. getting rave reviews already, love those guys. welcome back. you guys -- have you heard "movember"? [ cheers ] yeah, it's november with an "m." and it's when guys decide to grow a mustache during the month of november to help raise awareness for various men's health issues. its all for a good cause. it's a very cool thing, but there is a dark side. [ light laughter ] it turns out a lot of mustaches out there don't like each other. in fact, an all-out war of words has broken out now between the mustaches of republican presidential candidate, herman cain. and super mario from the nintendo video games. [ laughter ] it's bad. it is so bad in fact that they're now about to do battle in the ring, the octagon to be exact. so, let's switch over to our sister station, the steel network. and get ready for ultimate mustache fighter.
[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: ultimate mustache fighter presents: cain, super mario. 'stache bash 9, furry fury. >> oh yeah! >> jimmy: welcome to "ultimate mustache fighter: 'stache bash 9, furry fury." [ laughter ] i am brock leonard, with me as always the professor barry starr. barry, we've got a hot one tonight. >> steve: this is the one we've all been waiting for, battling out for sole possession of the umf heavyweight title -- it's the heavy godfather himself, herman cain's mustache taking on the deadly nose bush of video game legend, super mario. >> jimmy: there is no love lost between these two mustaches, barry. this ring is not big enough for these two whiskered warriors. these bushy beasts. these frizzy freaks. these gruesome growths. these brutal booger brooms. >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: these maniacal mucus mats. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: these under the honker snot blockers. >> steve: yep. >> jimmy: these hideous horrid
heads of the horridly hatred hellishness. >> steve: roll the tape! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: one belt, two mustaches. they can't be chopped, they can't be dropped! they can't stopped! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is what it's all about right there, professor barry. the capacity crowd it's on its feet right now. they're all excited! >> steve: oh, my gosh, the excitement is palpable, brock. let's go to the tale of the tape. >> jimmy: i see a definitive edge there, professor barry. >> steve: yeah. they're pretty evenly matched at about everything. >> jimmy: kind of much exactly the same there. >> steve: but, now here's an interesting graphic. there you go. >> jimmy: nice. people make some noise. we got world famous ufc referee, herb dean in the house.
let him hear it, herb dean. >> steve: oh yeah! >> jimmy: here we go, hairy hell has been unleashed. now approaching the ring, weighing in at 0.001 ounces with a record of 12 wins, no losses, and trying to set the record straight. hailing from under the nose of herman cain -- it is herman cain's mustache. >> steve: oh he just got a cue to do the hairy -- his for 13 years. >> jimmy: this 'stache just can't keep it in his pants. and his opponent, weighing in at 0.00 and a quarter ounces. with a record of 10 wins, no losses, and dozens of best selling video games worldwide. he's a plumber. he's got a brother. he's super mario's mustache. and he's won six others. >> steve: if there's a video game hell -- this violent test is getting top score, brock. >> jimmy: bedlam has broken out! it's sheer pandemonium in the ring. [ bell rings ] okay. all, right. all, right. order has been restored. [ laughter ]
let's go to the ref. >> are you mustaches ready? let's do it. >> jimmy: here we go! the bushy battle has begun. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh, this is awful. how can we as a society allow such barbaric sports to exist? >> jimmy: it's like a hairy hunger games out there. it looks like herman cain's mustache is gaining the upper hand right there. >> steve: wait. >> jimmy: wait, what the hell is going on? what is this? it can't be. >> steve: no, it is! >> jimmy: no way. it's luigi's mustache! >> steve: it's super mario's brother, luigi, come to rescue him. >> jimmy: it is luigi. no, wait, no -- >> steve: oh my god! >> jimmy: -- here comes wilfred brimley's mustache. what the heck is going on here? >> steve: oh my god! >> jimmy: it is an all-out melee. >> steve: and it does not look pretty! >> jimmy: somebody stop this! >> steve: oh! ♪ it's the holiday event of the year. experience the grace, the beauty, the wondrous majesty of mustaches on ice. christmas day, only on steel. >> steve: i cannot believe what just happened. that was awful.
let's go to brock. brock, can you hear me? brock? >> jimmy: professor barry, in all my years as a sportscaster, i-i-i-i have never w-w-w-itnessed anything close to w-w-what just transpired in the ring. i am so glad i was able to see this with my own two eyes. now i'll have a story to tell my grandkids, whenever i'm teaching them how to pop a wheelie on a jet ski or showing them how to properly gut a fish with a jack knife. the winner and new umf heavyweight champion of the world, super mario's mustache! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we will be right back with jesse eisenberg. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ y mneonjourney across americ, i've learned that when you ask someone in texas if they want "big" savings on car insurance,
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>> jimmy: our first guest this evening is an academy award-nominated actor. you know him from movies like "the social network," "zombieland," and "30 minutes or less." he also wrote, and is starring a new play called "asuncion," which you can catch at the cherry lane theater in downtown manhattan. go see him live in person. welcome back to the show a talented man. here's jesse eisenberg, you guys. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good man, thank you for coming back to the show. good to see you again. >> thank you so much for having me. good to see you too. >> jimmy: you're a good man. i gotta say "30 minutes or less," it's out on dvd. just came out. if you guys have not seen this, it's a super, super funny movie. oh my gosh, this is such a great, great, great movie. is this by the guy that did "zombieland," right? >> yeah, "zombieland" was his first movie, and this is his second.
and, yeah, it's really funny -- same kind of, like, action-oriented comedy. >> jimmy: take a look at the back quick, all of you. there you go. that's just the back there. [ laughter ] aziz ansari, you've got danny mcbride, nick swardson, and you. >> michael pena. >> jimmy: michael pena, who was on our show. >> right, right, right. >> jimmy: gosh, he's amazing. i thought that was just, like, the way he talks. >> no, no, no, he talks in so many different ways, and -- >> jimmy: yeah, he really does. >> and when he does a movie, he uses one of them. >> jimmy: that's probably what actors do. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not what i did in any of my movies, yeah. but he came out -- in this movie, he's like -- [ imitates pena ] kind of talks like this, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and he like, leans and he has like a weird eye? >> it's the most bizarre character. >> jimmy: it's an amazing character. >> it's so great, and you're right, no, he's nothing -- obviously nothing like that. >> jimmy: but look at this guy. now am i pronouncing it right? "asuncion." >> "asuncion," yes. no, actually, you are pronouncing it right, but we pronounce it incorrectly in the play, so that was the only time it's pronounced correctly on a stage was here. >> jimmy: right here? >> so, no, you are right. >> jimmy: but you wrote this and are starring in it. you've been writing for a while. you told a story once, made me laugh.
>> oh, right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you told a story many times that made me laugh. >> the one that made you laugh the hardest was the following one. >> jimmy: well, you wrote -- was it a play or movie? >> yeah, actually, i wrote both a play and a movie about woody allen when i was 16 years old, and i sent it to some people, and it went through so many different channels and finally wound up on his lawyer's desk, and they sent me a response in the form of a cease and desist letter. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kind of cool. >> yeah, it was cool to get a response. [ laughter ] it's not the one i was hoping for, but that was my first kind of brush with writing, and also with the law. [ light laughter ] and this one so far, no lawsuits. >> jimmy: but now you're here. you're at cherry lane theater. can you explain what this play is about? >> yeah, sure. it's about these two guys. this is justin bartha, and this is -- that's me, who i play. and we are roommates, and we think we know a lot about the world. he's getting his ph.d. in black studies. i went to cambodia for two days. [ light laughter ] and so the two of us think we
have, like, a handle on class, and race, and culture, and politics. and then this girl, she's from the philippines, she's delivered to us, and has to stay with us for a week, and all of our kind of ignorance and naiveté about the world is uncovered. it's a comedy, though. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] it's getting rave reviews, so congratulations on that. >> oh, thank you so much. >> jimmy: i mean, did you ever think you would get this made and on broadway? i mean, this is awesome. >> no, it was so exciting. you know, i write all the time. i never expect, even though i act in things that are popular and you know, in like, kind of sometimes big venues, i never expect the stuff i write to actually get done, so this was a huge honor. >> jimmy: it's a lot of work, huh? >> yeah. yeah, yeah, i guess i thought -- if i thought that it probably would have gotten done, i probably would have worked even harder. [ light laughter ] but i just never expected that anybody would do it, so i kind of just sat around my house typing. >> jimmy: well, people are talking about it. it's got great buzz. and now you're actually gonna take it to the philippines? >> yeah, that wasn't, you know, the initial goal, but -- [ laughter ] it releases straight to the philippines. no, but, you know, the central character is this filipino girl,
and so a lot of people -- i didn't even realize this, but of course in retrospect it makes sense. a lot of people from the philippines are interested in the play, and so they offered us to do it in like, 2013. that's been the most exciting thing to come of this, is that we all get to go there. >> jimmy: so you go there, and then what do you do? do you do it for, like, a week or one night only? >> yeah, like a week and a half show. >> jimmy: is that right? how exciting. >> it's thrilling, yeah. >> jimmy: and who is this girl that's starring in it? >> oh, her name is camille mana. she's phenomenal. >> jimmy: camille mana, she's getting a lot of the buzz off of this, too, as well as you are. but she -- i've never heard of her before. >> yeah, she's phenomenal. i found her reel online, which is just a collection of scenes from other things, that they've been in. a lot of actors have, like, they put together a collection of scenes. >> jimmy: so you didn't do an audition? >> no, no as an actor, i cannot think about putting other actors through the audition process, so i wrote the part for the two other guys. this is remy auberjonois and justin, i've known for years, and i wrote the parts for them. and for her, i just couldn't bring myself to, like, hold auditions 'cause it's such a painful, like, process. >> jimmy: it is the worst. i never liked an audition. i never felt great about an
audition. even when i got the part, it's like, "can you burn that audition?" i don't want anyone ever seeing that. >> and the movie that we make from the audition. >> jimmy: completely. [ laughter ] >> no, it's a terrible experience for actors. >> jimmy: it's true. it's crazy. do you like doing it in front of a live audience and going for it and getting their reactions? >> yeah, it's great. i mean, it's like what you're doing, you know, but, you know, we do the same thing every night. it must be thrilling to, like, do something different every night. you know, we're kind of just trying to like, perfect one thing every night. so it's kind of a little stressful in that way. >> jimmy: how long do you do this for? >> we have, like, another three weeks. it'll be a total of, like, two and a half months of shows. >> jimmy: gosh, and do you know how many actual shows that is? >> yeah, i think it's about, like, 70 shows. >> jimmy: so 70 times you have to do the same dialogue, same character, same thing. you try not to go nuts, and act like it's the first time doing it. >> there's somebody in the show "cats," that did it for like, 13 years or something. so every time i think i'm going crazy, i think, well, they must really go crazy 'cause they were playing a cat, you know, i'm playing a human being. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's good. you gotta have mentors. yeah, that's true.
>> my character eats with forks. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, and not out of a tiny bowl. yeah, yeah, well, it's called "asuncion." go see it at the cherry lane theater, here in new york. every time you're here, we try to do different things. we try to like, play a game or something. i'd like to play a game with you. do you mind? >> that'd be great. >> jimmy: all right, great, you guys. when we come back, we're gonna play with jesse eisenberg. "catchphrase." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'd race down that hill without a helmet.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to "late night," everybody. jesse eisenberg is here. [ cheers and applause ] he wrote and stars in a new play called "asuncion," which is currently playing at the cherry lane theater here in new york city. we're about to play a game called "catchphrase," okay? it's sort of the speed version of "taboo," kind of, and it goes like this. emily and i are one team, and jesse and molly are the other team. jesse will begin the game by pressing start on this buzzer right there. you press the little start button there. then you draw a clue from the top of the pile. get your teammates to guess the clue, and then hand the buzzer off to the person on your right. the clue giver can make any physical gesture or say any words except the actual clue. no passing, okay? so you have to do your word. whichever team is holding the buzzer when it goes off gets a strike. [ audience oohs ]
>> a real strike. >> jimmy: it's a best out of three, so let's take our positions. where are we going? to you? yeah, there you go, like that. now you guys are actually friends, molly and emily? >> yeah. >> not after this. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] our new team name, we're the new bffs. >> the new bffs, great. >> we're awesome. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the name of your team is also friends? >> not aggressive, a hair competitive. >> jimmy: also friends, all right, here you go. you press start stop when you're ready to start the game then you take the first clue and go for it. >> wait, why do i take the clue? doesn't she take the clue? >> jimmy: well, you're our guest. >> no, no, no, but i mean -- oh, i hold the thing and the thing. >> jimmy: yeah, that's just a buzzer. >> okay -- okay, okay, okay. right now? >> jimmy: go for it. >> okay. [ beeping ] this is a band, the first is a color, the second word is -- close. the second -- well, not exactly close, but the second word is a part of the body that's not the nose, mouth or -- >> eyes? >> yes, and the last word is a type of vegetable you eat?
first word is not white, but -- >> black-eyed peas? >> exactly. [ cheers and applause ] >> not your head, but your -- >> jimmy: body. >> what holds your head up? >> jimmy: neck. >> if you get in an accident you need a -- >> jimmy: neck brace. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> your underwear is stuck in your butt crack. [ laughter ] >> yes. okay, now give me the clue. >> yep. you have to pull it out. you have to pick it out. >> wedgie? >> yes. that's it? >> okay. >> jimmy: this is something that you eat that you're used to. it's very calming. >> baby food. >> jimmy: you're used to it. it's when you're sick, cold and rainy. >> cough syrup? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. [ buzzer sounds ] [ audience ohs ] >> when it's cold and rainy? >> jimmy: comfort food. >> okay. >> okay, also friends with two and bffs with one. >> jimmy: that's true, yeah. also friends -- you're in the lead. it's one zip. so i start here? i think i start here. okay, good. first one to two is out of the game.
is that correct? yeah. [ beeping ] okay, this is a type of hors d'ouvre. it comes out of a chicken's butt -- >> okay. >> jimmy: what's the only thing that comes out of its -- >> poop. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nope. >> eggs? >> jimmy: yeah. what -- >> deviled eggs. >> jimmy: but different type. >> hard-boiled eggs. >> jimmy: no, vlasic. dill -- >> dill egg? dill. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a type of -- like a kosher -- a sweet and sour. >> chicken? chicken egg? >> jimmy: no, no, first word, first word. >> chicken. no, egg. >> jimmy: second one, yes. first word is a different word. it's, like, something that you do. it's green things, cucumber! >> egg salad? >> jimmy: a dill cucumber! >> egg pickle. egg pickle salad? [ buzzer sounds ] [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: so close. [ laughter ] pickled eggs. >> i've never heard of a pickled egg. >> jimmy: but you've heard of egg pickle salad? i mean, it's the same thing. well, we lost, but i would like to just see you go again. i'm so sorry. i was not good at giving clues. sorry, emily. >> that is really strange. that doesn't really exist, does it? >> jimmy: let's just say it doesn't, sure. >> thanks for trying to make me feel better. >> jimmy: hey, we're bffs. >> but we're also friends. should we start again? >> jimmy: yeah, go for it. [ beeping ] >> okay. opposite of on. >> off. >> and then something that
you -- what is captain -- >> hook. off hook. hook off. >> yes, but one where you're in between. that's an article. >> off the hook. >> yep. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: pickled eggs? i mean, c'mon. pickled eggs! >> okay. in a band that plays instruments in high school it's a -- >> marching band. >> first word without the -- >> jimmy: march. >> yeah, march, and not a -- not a nickel. not a nickel, but a -- >> jimmy: dime march of dimes? >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> i just said something that's wrong. and it's a famous psychologist. he thinks a lot about, like -- >> freud? >> yes. >> freud. okay. >> freud, okay. so what's the -- [ buzzer sounds ] no! >> freud, freud. >> you guys are the champs. molly and jesse win. [ cheers and applause ] go see jesse eisenberg's play, "asuncion," at the cherry lane theater, here in new york city. piper perabo joins us next you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> they are hot. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. you look beautiful. thank you for coming back to show. >> thank you. thanks for having me. >> jimmy: oh, please. how was your thanksgiving? >> it was great. >> jimmy: yeah. did you celebrate in new york? >> in new jersey. my family is in new jersey. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a jersey girl. >> we actually -- we move our thanksgiving. 'cause my brother has to work on thanksgiving. so, we moved it to saturday. >> jimmy: now what do you mean -- oh, so you moved the day? >> we moved the whole day to saturday. so then thursday you can just like, watch football and tailgate. >> jimmy: wait, so thursday you just watched football and hang out? >> yeah. we just watch football and hang out. and then there's no stress. you have all this time to prepare, everybody has time to arrive, the turkey's on sale. >> jimmy: you save money on the turkey. >> totally. >> jimmy: and you had a great one on saturday. >> and there's no stress. the whole family has already arrived. everybody can make a dish. you've got days to prepare.
>> jimmy: that's a smart move. you should do it for all holidays. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. just celebrate christmas whenever you want to. >> cool. >> jimmy: you guys feel like doing christmas next week? is your brother available? >> perfect, yeah. >> jimmy: what football game -- are you a big football fan? >> yeah, cowboys. you watch football? [ audience boos ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: but wait, i thought you're from jersey? >> but, i was born in dallas when tom landry was coach. yeah. >> jimmy: tom landry. that was big time. >> yeah, america's team. and we won. the fedora and the trench coat. >> jimmy: yeah, that was a big deal. >> you like football. >> jimmy: i do. i like football. i like the jets. [ cheers ] if they don't win, then i like the giants. [ laughter ] that's the way i do it. no, thanksgiving, no. do you go crazy for it? >> yeah, i mean like, you know, i have a jersey. >> jimmy: well that's all right, that's not that crazy. >> i don't know if it's that crazy. >> jimmy: well, i'm saying like, are you a face painter? >> i like the belly paint boys. you know the ones are like, "yeah." and they've got like, the stripes on the belly.
>> jimmy: do you really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you like those guys? >> yeah, it's thanksgiving. >> jimmy: i think they do it all the time. they don't care if it's thanksgiving or not. they just do it. they just go for it. you have a bar here in new york city. you're part owner of a bar. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i guess we can say what the name of it is. can we? >> i guess so. >> jimmy: what is the name of it? >> employees only. >> jimmy: yeah. employees only. >> have you been there? >> jimmy: i have not. but i've heard about this. but, it's a very -- it's like a cool, hard to get into bar. >> yeah. i actually don't drink there 'cause it's too crowded. >> jimmy: you don't drink at your own bar? >> no. >> jimmy: see, i could never own a bar. because i would just die in the bar. [ laughter ] i'd just be there every night and go, "i own this place. [ laughter ] get out." get lost, you know. so you don't go there at all? you drink other places. >> yeah, well, i went there when we were building it. i was like, "it's our bar. it's going to be great." and then it was so great that it was too crowded. so i'm like, "i'll just go somewhere else." >> jimmy: what got you involved with the bar? did you know friends? >> yeah. these guys who i knew from another bar, who were bartenders. they were great, and smart. and they said, "we want our own bar." >> jimmy: i want friends like that, that'd be awesome.
we have to talk about "covert affairs," congratulations. best hit! >> thank you. yay! thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this tuesday is the season finale. >> yes. >> jimmy: it's big on usa. >> yes. >> jimmy: and you travel all over the place for this show. i mean, where do you go? >> this year we went to paris, berlin, venice, stockholm, istanbul. >> jimmy: is that fun to go to these different places? >> yeah, it's so cool. we're running with assassins through the streets of venice or canals, or whatever. it's great. >> jimmy: i mean that's crazy. do you get to enjoy the place while you're there? >> i enjoy it quickly as i'm running through it, because we're shooting so i can't really go sight seeing -- >> jimmy: you're running, and then like -- >> it's like, "oh my gosh, it's so beautiful." >> jimmy: "oh my god! don't catch me, don't catch me." is it wild like, do people know you're filming a show? >> no, it gets a little tricky, because we don't -- we don't have a lot of time. so we just like, start shooting. and people -- like when we were in venice, there was an assassin whose taken my bag. and he's running through the streets of venice.
and i'm chasing him, and people thought he took my purse. and like italian men are very macho. and like stand-up guys. and so they would start chasing me chasing the guy. and like calling for the police 'cause they thought he'd pulled my purse. and so i have to turn around and be like, "no, no, no." >> jimmy: kind of ruins the show. there's like ten guys helping her. but, you have to tell them to calm down in different languages? >> yeah. "me scuza. por favora. no policia." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, that's great. >> what's the word for police? >> jimmy: i would just return that rosetta stone or whatever you got. i would return it to the store tomorrow. return-o, the rosett-i stone-i. >> no policio! >> jimmy: just add an "o" on the end of everything. >> thank you-o. >> jimmy: i heard you recently had to do a drunken russian accent? which is different than a russian accent. >> yeah.
yeah. we had this big three-page scene in russian. and i get drunk in the scene. so, my russian already is -- i don't speak russian. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then to get drunk, you know, drunk isn't just like a big mess, you have to sort of -- you know, when someone's drunk in english, you kind of know what they're saying, and it sounds like something. so it was really difficult. >> jimmy: what would it sound like? >> i mean, like -- like i can't remember any of the russian right now. [ imitating russian accent ] >> jimmy: "i own this bar i'm going to drink all day. i own this bar. excuse. no policio in the russian." [ laughter ] just say, "in russian" after. i want to show -- we have a special clip. >> oh, we do? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, this is a teaser from the finale. >> from the finale? >> jimmy: yeah. this is major league. >> does it give it away? >> jimmy: no. right at the end it cuts it off. a little --
but, it's very exciting. here's piper perabo in "covert affairs," you guys, this tuesday. >> get to the boat. do not look back no matter what. [ clock ticking ] ♪ [ clock ticking ] ♪ [ gun fire ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ahh! ahh! "covert affairs" airs tuesday at 10:00 p.m. on the usa network. piper perabo, everybody. the dodos featuring neko case perform next. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ howdy folks! jack box here, with my new outlaw burger.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are here tonight to perform the song, "don't try and hide it," from their fourth album "no color." with help from special guest neko case, please welcome the dodos. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ what were you thinking writing on the roof top waiting for something or maybe someone ♪ ♪ and you were laughing circling the road block you put in front of to keep your heart locked ♪
♪ don't try and hide it it's all you're left with you will need more than gaining affection ♪ ♪ don't try and fight it what you've been offering doesn't even match up what you're born with ♪ ♪ ♪ if this is the last of your kind well don't be blind and leave it to others ♪ ♪ if this is the last of your kind well don't be blind and leave it to others ♪ ♪ go memorize all of your locations you are nowhere you are nothing vacant ♪ ♪ don't give your eyes to other's vocations
they are there to keep you in your station ♪ ♪ don't try and hide it don't try and fight it don't try and hide it ♪ ♪ don't try to hide it fight it ♪ ♪ don't try and hide it don't try and fight it don't try and hide it ♪ ♪ don't try to hide it fight it ♪ ♪ and what the hell were you putting your faith in something you could not someone you look to ♪ ♪ and now you watch it always floating over what you would long for what you were born to ♪ ♪ don't memorize all of your locations you are nowhere you are nothing vacant ♪ ♪ don't give your eyes to other's vocations they are there to keep you in your station ♪ ♪ don't try and hide it
don't try and fight it don't try and hide it ♪ ♪ don't try to hide it fight it ♪ ♪ don't try and hide it don't try and fight it don't try and hide it ♪ ♪ don't try to hide it fight it ♪ ♪ don't try and hide it don't try and fight it don't try and hide it ♪ ♪ don't try to hide it fight it ♪ ♪ don't try and hide it don't try and fight it don't try and hide it ♪ ♪ don't try to hide it fight it ♪ ♪ ♪