george w. bush's presidential library will be ready to open on may 1st. [ light laughter ] the library contains items from the former president's life, including pictures and memorabilia -- or as bush put it, "best of all, no books." [ laughter ] it was a big day at the white house when president obama has named the first woman to be the director of the secret service, today. [ cheers and applause ] experts are calling the move an important part of history -- sorry, i meant her- story. [ laughter ] you could tell she's good, because one official was like, "i've never seen a female secret service agent before," and she was like -- [ whisper ] "exactly." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] some more news out of washington. during a speech yesterday, former cia director david petraeus apologized for having an affair with his biographer.

he said he hopes this begins a new chapter in his life. although, it got awkward when he was like, "any of you ladies want to write it? [ laughter ] can i get a what-what? i can't?" this is interesting. a new survey found that the average american stays at their job for about 4 1/2 years. that is, unless they're a late-night host on nbc. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: wait a minute now. >> jimmy: hey, this isn't good. singer dionne warwick has filed for bankruptcy and revealed that she owes $10 million in back taxes. when asked how she plans to pay it off, she was like, "that's what friends are for?" [ laughter and applause ] elton? stevie? stevie? elton? i guess they must have changed their number. [ light laughter ] stevie? elton?

it's your friend, it's dionne! what's happening? dionne warwick owes $10 million in debt. she's angry with her accountants for the financial mess. she's even angrier at her psychics for not giving her a heads up. [ laughter ] it's just a big mess. [ applause ] this is a crazy story. there were no injuries this week when an elderly woman in california accidentally drove her car through three stores. [ laughter ] or as they're now known, one giant store. [ laughter ] yeah, an elderly woman drove her car through three stores. the woman was like, "sorry i ruined your stores, guys." while the store owner was like, "sorry we called you elderly, lindsay." [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] our bad. [ applause ] they both apologized. some business news here. in an effort to compete -- [ laughter ] business news here. in an effort to compete with amazon, walmart is letting customers buy a product online,

then pick it up in the store. the company says it's all the convenience of shopping online without any of the convenience of shopping online. [ laughter ] what's wrong with people? i mean, you're gonna order it on your computer and then go pick it up? i'm sorry, we're out. >> steve: i talked to you right over there. >> jimmy: no, over here, he said he ordered a medium. well, i'm here now. well, we've got to go home and re-do it online. [ laughter ] >> steve: redo it on your computer. can i do it from my phone? well, how could you do it from your phone? you don't call me, you're talking to me. >> jimmy: what is this, somebody from "hee-haw" works over at walmart? [ laughter ] >> steve: hey, where oh where -- >> jimmy: all right. did you guys see this last night? mr. t. scored a goal from center ice during intermission at the chicago blackhawks game, marking the first time 40,000 people all said at the same time, "well,

that was weird." [ laughter ] i pity the goal. [ laughter ] and finally, today marks the 15th anniversary of viagra. [ cheers and applause ] yep, the company celebrated by throwing a party that shouldn't last more than four hours. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a really great show tonight. thank you for watching. oh, it's gonna be fun. but first, i'm very excited about this. tomorrow night, we are having an easter egg hunt on our show. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: hunt. >> steve: oh, sorry. >> jimmy: we are having -- [ laughter ]

higgins? >> steve: what? >> jimmy: you got to wear your headphones, dude. [ laughter ] that's right. we are going to hide this beautiful egg somewhere in the studio, okay? and the first person watching at home who correctly tweets the location to @latenightjimmy with the hashtag #falloneasteregg -- there it is right there on the screen, technology -- will get this beautiful easter basket full of goodies. look at this. yeah, i'm talking about -- we've got t-shirts, we've got a sweatshirt over here. if you want a medium, all we have are larges. [ laughter ] >> steve: well, don't call me. >> jimmy: well then, don't call me. just google me, man, or whatever you have to do at home. >> steve: do a hashtag, man! >> jimmy: don't put it on instagram, it ain't gonna do nothing! >> steve: don't do it, it won't do nothing. >> jimmy: look at this. you get the "thank you notes" book. you get thank you notes one, and thank you notes two. the deuce! >> steve: oh, the deuce. [ cheers ]

[ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: "thank you notes two" actually plays -- hold on a second. the one you get will play. [ laughter ] ♪ >> steve: wait, try it again. i think it got fixed! >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> steve: i think it got fixed. >> jimmy: it works now. there you go. ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ this one plays two, i think. >> steve: this one plays different songs. >> jimmy: yep. ♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: macarena macarena. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, and then this one over here. ♪ look, it's just a bunch of songs. [ laughter ] >> steve: it's a songbook. >> jimmy: it's a songbook. and look at this. beats by dre headphones right there! >> steve: what? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're giving you those headphones so you can listen to our grammy winning cd, "blow

your pants off!" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] all part of this easter basket right here. it will be done real up nice, real good. happy easter, kids! [ laughter ] the easter bunny's hung over. but there it is right there. we're gonna hide one egg for our east coast viewers, one egg for our west coast viewers. and they'll each be in completely different places. so tune in tomorrow night and watch closely for the eggs, and for more information, go to latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/ easteregg. [ cheers and applause ] but tonight -- tonight is gonna be a hot show. it's just fun. she is the best -- it's my favorite hour on television. we absolutely love it when she stops by. kathie lee gifford is back on the show! [ cheers and applause ] i love her. >> steve: love her. >> jimmy: plus, he is great on fox's hit show, "the following" -- james purefoy is here!

[ cheers and applause ] really good. and, oh, man, we have great, great music. dido is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] she's just beautiful, sounds beautiful. i'm just so excited. it's gonna be such a fun show. as you guys know, we're always striving to get better here at late night. ♪ ♪ harder better faster stronger ♪ [ laughter ] so before every show, we put out a suggestion box for the audience, just to get some feedback about what you guys think of the show. things you'd like to see us do, that kind of stuff. so tonight, let's look inside the "audience suggestion box." ♪ look into the box the suggestion box ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for your suggestions. this first one here is from steve klein. "hey jimmy, do you keep any pictures in your wallet?" actually, i do. i keep just one.

this picture sort of reminds me of, like, who i was, and like, all the things that made me who i am today. and it's just a -- [ laughter ] -- i can't go anywhere without my hootie. >> steve: ♪ i only want to be with you ♪ >> jimmy: plays music, too? [ laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it plays the bridge. that's all it plays. middle of the -- [ laughter ] >> steve: that's the most musically interesting part. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is clearly his voice. >> steve: yeah. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, i didn't close it. here we go. another suggestion here. this one's from meghan maguire, "jimmy, i love the roots" -- so do i. "they are the best, but how good

can they sound if all of them played using only one hand?" good question, meghan. the roots are the best, but i'd love to hear how good they can sound playing with just one hand. roots, do you think you can do that? >> questlove: yeah, we can do it. >> tariq: we can try. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. go for it. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, that's what i'm talking about! that sounds good! they're so talented. let's try another one here. this one is from andrew cole. "hey jimmy, there's been a lot of controversy recently about" -- [ laughter ] "jimmy, there's been a lot of controversy recently about

supersized sodas in new york. some people think they should be allowed, some people don't. but no one has been talking about just how great beverages are in the first place." [ laughter ] "can you have someone do that and maybe even sing about it?" you know, andrew, i love beverages, too. i think i even know the perfect song for this. it's by a group called two fun men. come on out, guys. ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: very, very good. hey, are you guys ready? >> both: yes, we are ready. >> jimmy: all right, take it away. ♪ did you know that drinking milk fortifies your bones? ♪ ♪ drink it pure don't drink it when it's infused with hormones ♪ ♪ orange juice has vitamin c which is good for you ♪ ♪ water is essential

and it's refreshing too ♪ ♪ liquid beverages, ow liquid beverages, how? liquid beverages, now liquid beverages, wow! ♪ ♪ ♪ everybody get on the floor tonight show me all your moves ♪ ♪ 'cause the beat is real funky and you're dancing like a monkey ♪ ♪ 'cause you know that you feel the groove ♪ ♪ now your body says yes but your mind says no you got worries you got troubles ♪ ♪ from your head to your toe ♪ ♪ but if you feel the vibe and if you let it all go ♪ ♪ then you'll enter the dimension of the mystical flow ♪ ♪ beverages keep me going we're in this together everything's all right ♪ >> jimmy: wow! [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, two fun

men, right there! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i've lost -- i've lost control. >> steve: you know who i would have had singing about beverages? >> jimmy: who's that? >> steve: ice-t and coco. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] that's what i would have done. >> jimmy: all right. you would have done that? >> steve: he was here yesterday. i would have asked him, "hey, man --" >> jimmy: this one's from jackie fontinella. "jimmy, i love those old kung fu movies where the character's voices are dubbed over. you should do something like that on your show." oh, have our voices dubbed over like characters in kung fu movies? i think we can do that. let's see. >> jimmy: hello, questlove. ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. how are you doing, today? >> questlove: hello, jimmy fallon. i am doing well. [ laughter ] by the way, did you get a haircut?

j cut. ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, huh? [ laughter ] >> questlove: ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. yes, a very good joke. no wonder you are a comedian. >> tariq: hmmm. i have no idea what is going on here. ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, huh? [ gong sound ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this one's from ted douglass. "hey jimmy, what is that big cake doing over there sitting on that table?" oh, i don't know. i didn't even notice it. i guess it's just sitting there. i hope nothing happens to it. [ laughter ] this one's from elaine meyer. [ laughter ]

"jimmy, my office is doing a march madness bracket competition this year. does your office do one? and if so, can you bring out the guy who organizes it?" you know, elaine, we actually do have a late night office pool going on for march madness. and the guy who organizes it is one of our writers, patrick borelli. let's bring him out! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey patrick, who do you have winning it all this year? >> this year i picked -- [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, pat. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: was he shot? >> steve: i guess he's allergic to nuts! >> jimmy: this is a disaster. just a disaster. here we go. one more from the old suggestion

box. this last one says, "jimmy, i love simon & garfunkel, but i really love black simon & garfunkel. could you have them on? sincerely, pat driscoll." well, pat, it's funny you mention that, because last night i was having a hot toddy up at amelia's on 110th, and i saw them perform. they really brought the house down. so here to perform a song, ladies and gentlemen, off their box set, here is black simon & garfunkel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ do, do, do, da do, do, do, da ♪ ♪ walk into the club like what up i got a big knot ♪ ♪ nah, i'm just pumped about some stuff from the thrift shop ♪ ♪ ice on the fringe is so damn frosty people like damn that's a cold ass honkey ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ draped in a leopard mink girls standin' next to me probably shoulda washed this

smells like r. kelly's sheets ♪ >> piss. [ laughter ] ♪ i'm gonna pop some tags only got $20 in my pocket i-i-i'm huntin' lookin' for a come up ♪ ♪ this is freaking awesome ♪ ♪ la, la-la la-la, la-la, la-la la ♪ ♪ la, la-la la-la, la, la, la-la la, la-la-la, la ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: give it up for black simon & garfunkel! that's what i'm talking about! that is all the time we have for audience suggestion box. we'll be right back with kathie lee gifford! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ introducing new febreze stick & refresh with command strips from 3m. designed to stick and eliminate odors anywhere.

like this overflowing trashcan. to test it, we brought in the scott family. so what do you smell? beach house and you're looking out over the ocean. some place like, uh, hawaii in like a flower field. take your blindfolds off. aw man! [ screams ] [ laughs ] that smells good. i wouldn't even just put it in the trash, i'd put it in every room. stick it to eliminate odors anywhere. new febreze stick & refresh. breathe happy. ♪ [ female announcer ] with its rich, silky smooth taste there's magic in every piece of dove® dark chocolate. ♪ better than doing one thing? [ all ] yes! give me an example. like uh in pickle and a roll? like a pick and roll? like a pickle roll. like a pickle roll? no no no no. what's a pickle roll in basketball? you kick the pickle and it splatters all over the other person. [ laughter ]

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our first guest from nbc's "today show," where you can see her in the fourth hour every morning alongside our pal, hoda kotb. please welcome back to the show the gorgeous, the talented kathie lee gifford! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: you look beautiful, please have a seat. >> thank you! hi, everybody. >> jimmy: welcome back. >> how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you are the greatest. come on. we love you! >> what's not to love? >> jimmy: i know. i watch you -- every single day, i watch. >> it's crazy over there. >> jimmy: i love it. >> that hoda is out of control. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> honestly. >> jimmy: together -- >> i'm a very bad influence on her. >> jimmy: you really are. >> she was "dateline" hoda before she met me. >> jimmy: yeah, now she's -- >> now she's happy hour hoda. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, happy hour hoda. >> but that's the real hoda. as you know. >> jimmy: that should be her twitter handle, yeah. >> she is happy hour hoda. i love her. >> jimmy: but i love you guys so much. i can't even -- i say it, but i really mean it. >> it's kind of sick, isn't it? >> jimmy: it is sick. >> a post menopausal woman and an egyptian journalist -- are the stuff of your dreams. >> jimmy: yeah, it really is. >> that's kind of sad, really. >> jimmy: no, it's not sad. it's fantastic. like, today i was watching. and today you did this whole thing, it was really cool. hoda adopted a little puppy. >> a little rescue doggy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh, my gosh, he is the cutest -- well, he's not the cutest thing. [ applause ] he's adorable. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> she's gonna name him tomorrow. she went crazy for him.

>> jimmy: look at this. [ audience aws ] oh, my -- but you have, like, how many? there was, like, 10 dogs. >> there were 10 dogs. it was dating doggy time, and we met them all out in central park yesterday. i brought each one of them to her individually, and she fell in love. she took three of them home because that's the way she is, if you know what i mean. she wanted to see -- >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. oh, my -- >> she wants to sleep with them before she decides. >> jimmy: oh! [ laughter ] come on. all right, wait. wait, so she took three of them home? >> and apparently, he was great. >> jimmy: all right, well, look. so he has a name, but it's not goldfish. >> it's not goldfish. it's goldfish now, but tomorrow, it will be -- i know the name, and i'm not telling, but -- it's going to be big. >> jimmy: so, you know the name? does it have something to do with you guys or "the today show"? >> it has something to do with hoda and her -- and she's obsessed with certain things. and she -- yes, yes. >> jimmy: it's not called wallet, is it? >> wallet? >> jimmy: remember that? >> the last thing she's obsessed with is her wallet. >> jimmy: did you see that awful wallet she has? >> it's the most disgusting -- you know what? they're gonna find one day jimmy hoffa in her purse.

she has no idea what's in her purse. >> jimmy: we were on the show. i don't think you were there that day. i happened to be there. i think you were doing something. maybe one of your broadway shows or something. >> oh, yes, i've had so many. >> jimmy: you know, broadway shows. >> and big smashes, too. yes. >> jimmy: but you were away and i said -- and we were talking about purses or wallets or something, and i said, let me -- did anyone see hoda's? and she brought it out. and it was just a pile of receipts, and it was awful. >> she has got parking tickets in there from, like, 30 years ago. she doesn't even have a car to park, but she has parking tickets. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> that's her charm, though. >> jimmy: oh, we love her so much. we both do. but then you did something cool. you adopted -- >> oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: this thing. this dog. >> i am insane about this dog. >> jimmy: are you kidding me? >> this dog is cinnamon. you don't understand. >> jimmy: you don't even understand. ready? >> look at cinnamon. look at cinnamon. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: that is unbelievable. >> cinnamon is 3 pounds. the sweetest dog. i had an assistant for years, and she was there with her 11-year-old son and he was playing with cinnamon this morning.

and i went -- i did the worst thing, the worst thing you could ever do. >> jimmy: you didn't. >> on the air -- >> jimmy: no. >> i took the dog and went over and gave it to the little boy. and the mother's going, what could she do? she's on national television. but i knew he would want it. >> jimmy: that kid will raise this dog? >> it turned out -- it could have been disastrous. >> jimmy: yes. >> that dog went to lunch with us. we put him in a basket. he went -- i won't say the restaurant, because mayor bloomberg would have a fit if we actually had a 3-pound canine dog in a restaurant that he sits at. >> jimmy: yes, of course, yes. well, as long as the dog's under 16 ounces, you're allowed to bring him in. [ laughter ] you're allowed to bring him in to restaurants. >> ba-dum-bum. >> jimmy: yeah, thank you, yeah. >> yes. anyway, he's gone off to live happily ever after in huntington, long island. >> jimmy: aw, we're happy for little cinnamon! come on! [ applause ] and that was good you did that. you gave a good shout-out to petfinder. >> petfinder and paws of chicago or chicago paws -- something like that. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> they do fabulous. >> jimmy: we'll put it on our website. >> thank you. there are eight more little doggies that can be adopted, but everybody wanted cinnamon. everybody. >> jimmy: everyone, yeah.

no, now they can't have him. but there are so many. they're all cute. the little benji-looking dogs. >> and you know what? any animal you save from any situation -- >> jimmy: i want to adopt these -- i want to adopt these dogs. [ laughter ] look at how much fun you're having. that's why -- that's so fun. you did this thing, where you wanted -- was it 500,000 likes? >> we were trying. we were stalled. we could not get 500,000 facebook people to like us. >> jimmy: no, no. >> sad, isn't it? we couldn't. so i just got down on my knees one day and begged. i know what works. i'm a woman. you know what i'm saying? [ laughter ] we do what we got to do. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but, immediately, when i begged, it's, like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. we went way over. we got, like, 50,000 facebook people. more, extra. so after that, i'm going, tomorrow we've got to dress up, like, in dog outfits. we've gotta do it. >> jimmy: i mean, it's the craziest show. >> so, this is what has happened to nbc news. >> jimmy: i love this so much. i was laughing so hard. >> and we're up to almost, i

guess, almost 600,000 now. >> jimmy: 600,000 likes on facebook. good for you. and it'll go higher. >> hey, i'll do it again. >> jimmy: you'll do it again? >> you're a different audience. >> jimmy: using a different -- no, yeah, no. oh, my goodness. this is what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] kathie. kathie. kathie lee! hey! no! no biting! no biting! >> no, i don't care. >> jimmy: no biting. >> it works. nobody gets hurt. i've been called worse than a -- anyway. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. yeah, you did. hey, last time you were on our show, i -- we love to play games with you, because you're very fun to play with. and we played a fun game -- [ laughter ] okay. okay, so we played a game called -- usually we play "beer pong." >> yes. >> jimmy: but on our show, we played "wine pong." >> yes. >> jimmy: with you. and two things. one, you beat me. >> and you didn't like it. >> jimmy: i was very upset. >> i know. you're very competitive. don't let the sweet little boy's face fool you. he looks like bambino, but he is godzilla in real life. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i'm not. >> when it comes to competition, you are. >> jimmy: i am not. actually, i lost and it was very fair.

but you over-celebrated. you celebrated too crazy. you went nuts. >> i just did what i wanted to do. >> jimmy: and then you just -- >> i had my way with you. that's right. >> jimmy: you had your way with me. [ laughter ] it was unbelievable. >> and god only knows what will happen tonight. [ cheers ] ♪ >> jimmy: are you ready? >> oh, am i ready, baby! bring it on! >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. "wine pong" rematch with kathie lee after the break. come on back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] subway introduces the new $3 six-inch select!

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody, we are back with the hilarious, the one

and only kathie lee gifford. she has gracefully agreed to give me a rematch in a game we custom-designed for her -- a game called "wine pong." >> yes. >> jimmy: yes. now, the rules -- >> i'm so proud. >> jimmy: -- are the same -- yes, me too. so are my parents. they're like, "oh great, you're playing beer pong every night." >> no, "wine pong." it's much classier. [ light laughter ] [ coughing ] oh, i have to give you the heineken. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> that's what my mother calls the heimlich. she doesn't know any different. >> jimmy: i will see you in court. [ light laughter ] >> my son did that the other day. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> he did that. he did the heineken on a man. >> jimmy: heimlich. >> we call it the heineken at our house, okay? 'cause my grandmother -- my mother, his grandmother, calls it. he goes over. there's a man choking to death. i know we don't have time for this. literally, we're out in california. cody sees a man choking to death. gets up -- he's 6'4", 190 pounds -- goes over, gives the man, like, 30 of these things, like he's a ragdoll. he's -- [ laughter ] at the end, the man had been eating apple pie. it comes up, and the man is saved. his life is saved. >> jimmy: cody's a hero.

>> he's a hero. but guess what? the man is old. the man is not gonna spit it out. the man chews it again and swallows it. [ laughter and applause ] hey, he paid for it! he was gonna get his money's worth. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> that's a true story. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. people are crazy. >> i know. so proud of him. >> jimmy: you guys, the rules are the same as beer pong. we each take turns. one shot each. the ball lands in your wine glass, you pound the chardonnay. first to land two wins. let's do this. >> let's do it! >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: fist bump. >> uh. [ light laughter ] okay. >> jimmy: kathie lee, you go first because you're our guest. ♪ no distractions. >> oh, bad. >> jimmy: oop -- >> oh, stop it! no! >> jimmy: what is going on? >> ooh! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

♪ >> jimmy: that means you have to chug it. >> so, what do i do? this one? >> jimmy: just chug that one. >> with the ball in it? [ rhythmic clapping ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah! ♪ no, no, no, you don't have to do that. >> does that count? >> jimmy: that was a mistake. that was a mistake. all right, here you go. yeah, i wouldn't make you do that. you go. >> oh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: for the win! [ audience ohs ] >> ooh. ♪

>> jimmy: for the win! >> no. ♪ >> jimmy: for the win! >> oh, yes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ yes! ♪ [ rhythmic clapping ] you're the best. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the best! oh, my gosh. i love ya. what a good sport! my pal -- oh, my god! our thanks to kathie lee gifford! james purefoy joins us next! come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ because music is a force. world? for good for change. for whatever. because we were all conceived to a 4/4 beat. because music can't be stopped.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a very talented actor, who currently stars as serial killer joe carroll in the hit show, "the following," which airs mondays at 9:00 p.m. on fox. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome james purefoy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: james, please, welcome back to our show, my friend. >> well, it's been a while. >> jimmy: it's been a while since i've seen you, but i'm gonna say this. the next time i think i'll see you will be at the emmy awards 'cause i think you're gonna win an emmy for this role. [ cheers and applause ] you're killing it. >> that is one of the nicest things i've heard -- >> jimmy: you're killing it. >> -- since i got to the studio. >> jimmy: since you sat in that chair. it's one of the nicest things -- i've got a lot to talk to you about. one thing i want to talk to you about is you have this sword collection. >> yes, indeed, i do. >> jimmy: and every -- 'cause how many movies have you been where you've used swords? >> i've done a lot of sword movies. >> jimmy: why? >> i practically come with my own suit of armor. >> jimmy: yeah, i mean really -- but why is -- >> i'm very cheap if they want me to hire me for a period movie. and if i -- i only charge a little bit extra for chainmail. >> jimmy: oh, that's so nice of you. yes. but why -- >> but i got a lot of these swords -- >> jimmy: are you attracted to them, or are they attracted to you? >> they are very much attracted to me. i guess once you've done one sword movie, and you can kind of do a little bit of -- that, then they kind of go, "he's the guy who can --" >> jimmy: "he's a swordsman. swordsman."

>> he is a swords-man. >> jimmy: swords-man. >> and i do have these -- i have these swords, and they've come in handy a couple of times. >> jimmy: what do you mean? they've come in -- well, look at this first one. look at this giant -- this is insane. >> yeah, this is a -- this is a -- >> jimmy: you have a big sword, my friend. [ light laughter ] >> a 6-foot broad sword that can cut a man clean in half. and -- in fact, that came in handy. >> jimmy: is it classic? is it -- >> no, no, it's tempered steel. >> jimmy: really? why? >> that was from a movie. >> jimmy: why don't they make it out of plastic? it's a movie. >> 'cause i don't do that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how heavy is this thing? >> it's very, very heavy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but we used to call that one florence because when you were moving that one -- you don't do that with one of those swords. you know, all that. you have to -- oh. and off it goes, and you have to kind of go with the flow. that's why we called it florence. >> jimmy: very, very -- do you name all of your swords? >> i don't name all of them, but i took a picture -- >> jimmy: wow. >> -- for jimmy because he wanted to see my collection. [ laughter ] and that's just a few of them there.

>> jimmy: who's that little dude? >> that little dude -- [ light laughter ] that little dude is my little friend, marcel, who insists on being in a photograph, so that he can give you a sense of perspective. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's so nice of marcel. >> but i said to him, "but how do they know you're not 5 foot tall, marc?" >> jimmy: that is true. he's a great dane. >> giant dog. >> jimmy: yeah -- >> no, he's not. he's only a little -- dog. >> jimmy: now, what do you mean they came in handy though? you said they came in handy. >> well, they do come in handy. >> jimmy: how could they possibly come -- >> one night, i was in bed, and i could hear outside in my street in london -- i could hear somebody sort of tampering with my motorcycle outside. and i have a chain on the tire -- on the wheel to keep it safe. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so, i went over to the window, and i looked through the blind -- >> jimmy: middle of the night. >> middle of the night. i just got out of bed. i was -- i was naked. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: tmi, yeah. >> well, you know, it's important to know this. the detail goes on with this little tale. and i went over. i had a look, and the gentleman outside pulled out of his bag this huge pair of bolt cutters.

and i could see he was about to cut the chain off the bike and steal the bike. >> jimmy: thief! >> thief in the night. so, i go over to the collection. i don't have them hanging on the wall or anything like that. they're just in an umbrella stand by my -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what i would do have if i had a bunch of swords. >> i took my time a little bit, and i looked at the collection. i went, "well, which is it to be, my friend?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're a twisted man. i love that. >> and i went through them all. is it going to be the "solomon kane" rapier? will it be the -- will it be with this or that? oh, no, it must be florence! >> jimmy: yes! >> i unsheathed florence. >> jimmy: yes. >> i decided -- oh, if there's anything i know about filming, backlighting is useful. i flipped on the backlight behind me. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i opened the front door, naked -- [ laughter ] -- with the sword in hand. and i said, "pray, sir -- pray, sir, what do you think you're doing with my motorcycle?" [ laughter ]

he looked up at me, double took of me, terrified, dropped the bolt cutters, ran down the street. and to this very day, jimmy, i have never been too sure which of the weapons he was most frightened of. [ laughter and applause ] aw, come on. >> jimmy: that's pretty funny 'cause in his account of the story, you came out with a pocket knife. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: let's talk about "the following." congratulations. you play a nutty serial killer, crazy man. >> ooh, he's crazy, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, it's a good role, man. and you and kevin bacon -- it's just fantastic. the show's great. >> well, it's lovely working with kevin. he's a prince amongst men. >> jimmy: yeah, he said nice things about you, yeah. he was on the show -- no, he didn't, actually. but -- no, he does. he likes you very much. but -- you obviously have chemistry. but he said he actually loves working with you. he's like -- 'cause he's, you know, doing these films like you do, but he's like, "but this,

the show, you're just constantly working. i love working. i love being able to be an actor and working with --" >> yeah, well, it's a very fast turnaround. it's television. you've got to really know what you're doing. you've got to be very prepared, and kevin is very, very prepared. and he knows what he's doing. it's just exciting. and when you really hit it off with an actor, you know, it's just gold dust, isn't it? >> jimmy: you can tell that you guys are having a good time. i want to show everyone a clip. here's a sneak peek -- >> ooh -- >> jimmy: of james purefoy -- from the show. [ laughter ] >> not from the doorstep. >> jimmy: not from the -- not from the doorstep. in monday night's episode of "the following." take a look. [ phone ringing ] >> hello? >> oh, good morning, ryan. oh. oh, i'm sorry. did i wake you? you're not sleeping in, are you? oh, dear, you've been drinking. i knew you would take losing claire badly, but i didn't think it would send you spiraling back into the bottle quite so

quickly. >> what do you want? >> um, nothing. much. just wanted to check in on my hero. say good morning. gloat a little. >> go to hell. [ dial tone ] >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] james purefoy! "the following" airs mondays at 9:00 p.m. on fox. dido performs next! come on back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] this one goes out to all the allergy muddlers. you know who you are. you can part a crowd, without saying a word... if you have yet to master the quiet sneeze... you stash tissues like a squirrel stashes nuts... well muddlers, muddle no more. try zyrtec®. it gives you powerful allergy relief. and zyrtec® is different than claritin® because zyrtec® starts working at hour one on the first day you take it.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest just released her first album in more than five years, "girl who got away." she's here tonight to perform the first single from it, "no freedom." please welcome dido! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i take it by your silence that i'm free to walk out the door ♪ ♪ by the look in your eyes i can tell you don't think i'll be back for more ♪

♪ try to think of a world where you could stay and these safe hands could go ♪ ♪ take your heart above the water wherever i choose to go ♪ ♪ no love without freedom no love without freedom no love without freedom no freedom without love ♪ ♪ and even when you don't see me and even when you don't hear ♪ ♪ i'll be flying low below the sun and you'll feel it

all out here ♪ ♪ no love without freedom no love without freedom no love without freedom no freedom without love ♪ ♪ no love without freedom no love without freedom no love without freedom no freedom without love ♪ ♪ i'm standing here in silence the world in front of me ♪ ♪ holding you in my hand

and seeing as you'd see ♪ ♪ no love without freedom no love without freedom no love without freedom no freedom without love ♪ ♪ no freedom without love [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you! >> jimmy: dido, everybody! oh, my goodness. thank you, dido. fantastic! look for her new album, "girl who got away." we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ >> jimmy: my thanks to kathie lee gifford, james purefoy, dido, once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the greatest band in late night, the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for carson daly. thank you for watching! have a great night! i hope to see you tomorrow! bye-bye! thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ captions paid for by nbc-universal television captions by vitac www.vitac.com ♪ >> carson: hey, what's up, everybody? you're watching "last call" from lola's in west hollywood. i'm carson daly, and here's what we've got coming your way tonight.

in the "spotlight," singer faye will be on the show. for our music, the men make their television debut from the troubadour. but first, we welcome back an old pal to the show. and when you think of the tango, the jive, i'm sure only one name comes to mind, and that name is andy dick. you can currently catch him competing in the new season of "dancing with the stars" or you can just keep watching because andy dick returns to "last call" right now. take a look. >> carson: this sounds like therapy. the show, doing the show, and what you've -- >> it's therapeutic. i was having these mommy issues, which is weird. >> carson: do you have this conversation where you say "god, i was at "dancing with the stars" today and this happened, and i acted this way, and i had a mommy issue?" >> i didn't have this conversation with anybody on -- 17 cameras, how many [ bleep ] cameras do you have here? >> carson: i have camera issues. [ laughter ] ♪ >> next up tonight, the funnyman who has overcome some pretty serious challenges to take another shot at stardom. actor andy dick hi