Skip to main content

tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  July 9, 2013 12:35am-1:36am PDT

12:35 am
♪ and i wonder what you do are you somewhere feeling lonely is someone loving you ♪ ♪ tell me how to win your heart for i haven't got a clue ♪ ♪ but let me start by saying i love you i love you i love you ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: lionel richie! good job, my friend. >> thank you. >> jay: oh, that was beautiful. thank you so much. thank you, paul. hey, i want to thank my guests -- charlie day, jeffrey dean morgan, and of course the incredible lionel richie. tomorrow night dane cook will
12:36 am
join us. but, "jimmy fallon" happening right now! jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
12:37 am
>> jimmy: oh, my goodness! oh my goodness! that's the love right there. can you feel the love? welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. when you're here, you're family. [ cheers ] how you guys feeling tonight, doing good? [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about, here. you guys, everybody is talking about england. they were talking about big sports news. andy murray became the first british man since 1936 to win wimbledon. yeah. isn't that great? [ cheers and applause ] the british people were going totally nuts when they heard. they were like -- [ clapping ] [ light laughter ] after his win, andy murray went on "good morning america" and robin roberts was so excited to talk to him. and he was so not excited to talk to her. [ laughter ] take a look at this. >> i don't know about you, but my ears are still ringing up here. [ british accent ] "come on, andy. come on, andy." i had to put my pens down a couple of times when i was there. but well done, congratulations.
12:38 am
>> thank you. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. can't tell if he won wimbledon or just confirmed a reservation at olive garden. i don't know what he was doing. but when you're here, you're family. "late night with jimmy fallon." that's what i'm talking about, you guys. when you're here -- [ cheers and applause ] we took the slogan. >> steve: our slogan. >> jimmy: wimbeldon was fun though. i loved it. i loved watching. this weekend marion bartoli won the women's championship at wimbeldon. here's a picture of bartoli. and we love marion bartoli. >> steve: we love marion. >> jimmy: we love marion bartoli. great chef. that guy has been on the show, like, 20 times. i had no idea he even played tennis. >> steve: won wimbledon. grass court, orange cloth. >> jimmy: yeah, it's just unbelievable. more sports news. on friday, dwight howard -- you hear about this? dwight howard announced that he is leaving the lakers to join the houston rockets. or as kobe put it, "great, now who am i not going pass the ball to." [ laughter ] so i don't know what -- this is kind of cool. this week at the white house,
12:39 am
president obama will present george lucas with the national medal of arts while joe biden will present him with some fan mail for yoda. [ laughter ] make sure he gets it. you guys, the east coast is in the middle of its first big heat wave of the summer. it's so hot that it was impossible to tell the difference between the naked cowboy and people who were just visiting from texas. [ laughter ] can i have my picture with you? i have no idea. you guys read about nsa whistle blower edward snowden? yeah. well he's been offered asylum in venezuela, nicaragua and bolivia. or as snowden put it, prison it is. [ laughter ] there we go. thank you for the offers. actually edward snowden who fled the country after exposing the u.s. government spying program has spent the past two weeks stuck in the moscow airport. that's where he is. he's hanging out in an airport somewhere. and you think there's not much
12:40 am
to do when you're stuck at an airport. we actually got a hold of edward snowden's to-do list. yeah. i don't know how we did this. [ laughter ] >> steve: wow! >> jimmy: we hacked his iphone. yeah, yeah. we got a hold of edward snowden's to-do list. he's at this russian airport. take a look at what he can do there. first up, he can get a pretzel from the russian auntie annie's, auntie anya's. [ speaking in russian ] [ light laughter ] the next one there. use his government hacking experience to obtain the airport's boingo wifi password. [ light laughter ] the next up. he can find the best hand drier in the airport, nickname it the "eddie snowy handy blowy." [ laughter ] and last on this to-do list, go to the airport bathroom, say, "time for an nsa leak." and giggle to himself. [ laughter ] that's what he can do. [ cheers and applause ] the guy is awesome. time for an nsa leak right here. i thought this was very interesting. a new report found that ikea uses 1% of the world's wood
12:41 am
supply every year. environmentalists say it's highly unsustainable. it's an outrage and, oh, my god is that a couch for $50? we got to get that. [ laughter ] listen to this. the vatican announced that pope john the 23rd will be made a saint even though he only has one verified miracle. well, two if you count the time he got a straw into a capri sun. [ laughter ] nearly impossible. nearly impossible. and finally, there's talk that a broadway musical based on the life of rapper tupac is in the works. so if you love broadway musicals and gangsta rap you don't exist. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey. good to see you guys. good to see you guys again. i miss you. i love you.
12:42 am
we have a fun show tonight. he's one of my favorite actors. he's great on "the newsroom." jeff daniels is here! [ cheers and applause ] from the new adam sandler movie, "grown ups 2," he's always funny. and he's got a really great outfit on backstage. the very funny nick swardson is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] i love nick swardson. >> steve: god bless him. >> jimmy: yep. [ cheers and applause ] i love nick swardson. >> steve: god bless him. >> jimmy: yep. plus he's got lots of exotic animals to show us, the great jeff musial is dropping by with some new exotic animals that i've never seen before. [ applause ] and we have music -- you guys like music? [ cheers and applause ] tonight, this is what i'm talking about. this is, like, one of the best -- they're just so good. they're going to blow your pants off. we have music from preservation hall jazz band! >> steve: oh, come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i mean so fun. you can listen to that for an
12:43 am
hour. it's so fun to be back. you guys, i was noticing this trend on facebook where people will post an image of an inspiring quote on their wall for everyone to look at. and the quote is usually, like, someone famous like an actor or a politician or a historical figure. but i love reading them. and i'll read one sometimes and i'll think, "did they really say that?" because i don't know. that can be hard to tell. no one checks these quotes to see if they're real or not. let me show you guys what i'm talking about, if you can bring this up on the screen. this is a segment called "don't quote me." ♪ ♪ don't quote me 'cause i'm ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this first quote -- >> steve: not very true to that. that's nice. >> this is a segment called "don't quote me." >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. bring it up there. it's one of the -- this is one of the most famous authors of all time, shakespeare. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. he said, "when a father gives to his son, both laugh.
12:44 am
when a son gives to his father, both cry." here's another one from shakespeare. "croissants are like donuts that went to college and made something of themselves." [ laughter ] >> steve: good thing -- >> jimmy: i'm sure he did that. >> steve: maybe. >> jimmy: maybe, i didn't read all of his plays. jimmy: look at this next quote here. it's from the first president george washington. he said, "we ought not to look back unless it is derived useful lessons from past errors and for the purpose of profiting by dearly brought experience." good advice, yeah. here's another quote from george washington. "dolla, dollar bill y'all." [ laughter ] of course he would say that, he's on the dollar bill. >> steve: he's on the dollar bill. >> jimmy: i just don't know, i didn't -- >> steve: and the quarter. >> jimmy: and i don't have time to check it. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: well, here's a quote from joe biden. he said, "i know i'm not supposed to like muscle cars, but i like muscle cars." [ laughter ] why can't he like muscle cars? >> steve: i don't know. >> jimmy: he seems like a guy who likes muscle cars. i don't know. i think it's real. another quote from biden said, "i also know i'm not supposed to eat glue, but i eat glue."
12:45 am
[ laughter ] [ applause ] that one could be not real. here's a quote from my man, kid rock. he said, "i'm kid rock, nothing can destroy me." yeah. here's another quote from kid rock. "except for my arch nemesis, kid paper." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: this next quote is from buddha. he said, "do not dwell on the past. do not dream of the future. concentrate the mind on the present moment." wise words. here's another quote from buddha. "stop thinking about what i just said. that is in the past. so is that. so is that. so is that. so is that." annoying, but it's true. >> steve: all true. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: kind of a brain bender. >> steve: freak your brain. >> jimmy: we're down to our last quote, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
12:46 am
this one's from anthony wiener. [ laughter ] he said, "for the past few years i have engaged in several inappropriate conversations conducted over twitter, facebook, e-mail and occasionally on the phone with women i had met online." that's definitely true. here's another quote from wiener. "now that i have instagram, whole new ball game, baby." [ laughter and applause ] that's all the time we have for "don't quote me." stick around. we'll be right back with animal expert jeff musial, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
12:47 am
[ male announcer ] men -- you've tortured your face enough. end the face torture. new dove men + care face lotion hydrates skin to keep it looking good. take better care of your face with dove men + care. rescue workers have opened up a lot of dawn.
12:48 am
♪ they rely on it because it's tough on grease yet gentle. but even they'll tell you, dawn helps open... all: 3, 2, 1! [ male announcer ] ...something even bigger. this year, dawn is also donating $1 million to rescue efforts. go to find out how the little things you do can make a big difference. ...if not repellede thanor killed,e... you do they may transmit disease-causing organisms. k9 advantix® ii repels and kills ticks and starts killing them within 10 minutes on dogs treated 3 days earlier. right now, at petsmart, save $10 on all k9 advantix® ii 6-packs.
12:49 am
♪ i'm sorry. [ male announcer ] at&t introduces the samsung galaxy s4 active. a puddle proof... celebration proof... kitchen proof... surprise proof... prank proof smartphone. [ cellphone ringing ] hello? everything you love about the galaxy s4, only it's whatever-proof. exclusively at at&t. ♪
12:50 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. he's an animal expert who has been kind enough to stop by with some of his friends. ladies and gentlemen please welcome back to our show, jeff musial, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey, buddy. nice to see you. >> how are you? >> jimmy: good, good to see you. >> beautiful, right? ♪ i got my own theme song. the roots. my boys. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they're not -- they're not your boys. >> they are. >> jimmy: welcome back. >> they are. thank you very much. >> jimmy: jeff, welcome back.
12:51 am
>> thank you very much. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. >> he just wanted to break in the new desktop you guys got. it's beautiful. it's a laughing kookaburra from australia. >> jimmy: she's laughing right now. >> yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] and they are unbelievable birds. like this thing will come down and grab a shrimp off the barbie right when they are cooking them. >> jimmy: okay. >> from australia, shrimp off the barbie? >> jimmy: no, i totally got it. >> yeah. okay. so they'll fly down. they'll grab and they -- >> jimmy: same reaction from our audience, they ignored you. [ laughter ] >> they can eat -- they'll eat bugs. they'll eat venomous birds -- venomous bugs sorry. they'll eat venomous snakes. like my ex-girlfriend's mother. yeah. they -- [ audience oohs ] bam! take that! >> jimmy: you gotta get to know her. she -- yeah. >> yeah, but they're known for their call. and they make a cal and it sounds like they are laughing and they are heard all throughout the outback. >> jimmy: kookaburra. yeah. >> you know, you gotta like make a noise, you gotta like roll your r's and they'll call back. like -- i can't roll my r's like -- no. try it. go. do it. >> jimmy: don't make me look stupid. >> come on just do it. i won't.
12:52 am
just call. and they always fire right up. you're like -- [ bird noise ] and they will go. call. [ bird noise ] i can't roll my r's. roll your r's. >> jimmy: oh my goodness. >> come on. do it. just do it. it's funny. [ laughter ] go ahead go! [ rolls r's ] >> yeah, yeah keep going. keep going, keep going. [ rolls r's ] >> i'm about to pass out. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> thank you though. >> jimmy: no problem. she doesn't -- she won't. but like you said beautiful bird. the noise they make is incredible. they're called laughing kookaburra birds. it sounds like they are laugh. they do the morning and at night in australia. >> jimmy: that's awesome. well, thank you for bringing this one. >> no problem. you want to kiss him goodbye? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you brought a bunch of different animals. >> kiss him good-bye? >> jimmy: no, thank you so much. [ laughter ] >> i know. they can pluck -- they can pluck your eyeball like right out of your head. you got him? >> jimmy: thank you so much. i appreciate that. >> there -- you got him? >> jimmy: thank you though. >> good boy, tucker. >> jimmy: what? >> now -- his name's tucker. >> jimmy: all right. >> yeah, tucker, there. >> jimmy: you my boy, tucker? >> my boy, tucker? >> jimmy: yeah. >> this -- so cool. this is called -- a north american opossum. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and normally you don't just see them like hanging out on a
12:53 am
desk. you usually see them like raiding your garbage cans at night and looking for food and stuff. they're -- they got a prehensile tail, which they can hold on with. and -- you can feel his back -- i probably wouldn't touch him. [ laughter ] >> these guys are incredible. the sad thing about them though is they got a very short life span. they only live about -- say a year and a half to two years. so they grow fast. they get really big and then they just get super obese and pass away. >> jimmy: aw. >> yeah, cool though. imagine that, like you get full-grown and you just go bonkers on some cheeseburgers. like "what's up!" >> jimmy: no, no, no. he's about to attack. >> no he's all right. they have -- they have more teeth than any other mammal in the world. it's the only opossum -- it's the only marsupial in all of north america. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: where do they hang out? >> parks. they're starting to take over like central park. >> jimmy: starting to take over like central park. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: he winking at me. he winks at me then he drools. [ laughter ] i like this guy.
12:54 am
yeah, i like him. he can come back whenever. yeah, whenever he wants. >> yeah, he's cool. and then move on to this guy. now my boy, an, here is going put this guy on the desk. now, this guy here -- is in incredible. this is -- hang on a minute. let me get my banana out. there you go! [ laughter ] this guy -- >> jimmy: oh, my god. why -- why was that was in your front pocket? >> what? cause these jeans have the buckle so you can't -- >> jimmy: i don't even want to look at your -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> she might want to try -- here, hold it. she might wanna taste your banana. [ laughter ] just hold it in front. and like, she -- he might grab it. now, this guy here is incredible. they're -- they got that -- look at that. so cool. it's called a green iguana. it's got the dewlap there. that right there is to attract the ladies. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the big jowls. he gets up, he shakes that -- that big, dewlap, shakes the sack around. he's like "what's up, ladies. what's up?" right? >> jimmy: yup. >> and then the ladies go, "did you see that? he's a hottie patottie. look at him." right! >> they start dating. they go to patsy's. they get married. >> jimmy: all right. all right. >> they go to applebee's. yeah. >> jimmy: he's a beautiful creature. like a dinosaur.
12:55 am
this is crazy. >> yeah. these guys -- do your -- do like a head nod to him. he might -- shake his dewlap back to you. he might head nod. just bob your head a few times. bob your head. bob your head. >> jimmy: i'm afraid. >> but not like a head banger bob, but like a bob, bob. do one of those. go! >> jimmy: he's staring at me. >> that why. he's looking for you to do it. do it. >> jimmy: i don't want to do it. >> come on! just do it. just do it once. do it once or twice. >> jimmy: he's looking at me weird. he's looking at me weird. >> no you're fine. i will pet him. i'll take the hit. go! >> jimmy: what do you want to do -- [ laughter ] >> yeah. no. yeah. but don't move in when you do it cause what you're doing is a threat behavior. >> jimmy: threaten? [ laughter ] >> yeah. you are another mammal -- you're another male and he sees you doing that and he's like -- he thinks you are taking over his territory and his ladies. >> jimmy: all right. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what if i just put the banana there? >> i'm going to move on. you want to see another animal? you want to see another animal? >> jimmy: he liked it. yeah, i'd love to see another animal. >> all right, cool. i'm gonna pass this guy off. i'm going to bring this thing out. and when i go behind the couch, it's big, deadly, crazy chaos. and this one is so incredible. i'm going to him out. prepare yourself. okay?
12:56 am
it's the cutest little baby in the world. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: what is this guy? >> it's called a fennec fox. and they are found in africa. they are super cute. you can pet him if you want. super soft. they do thing were they poop and then they roll around in it. and they do -- [ laughter and applause ] yeah. they scent mark that way. they scent mark. here, sorry. >> jimmy: came prepared. thank you buddy. >> they scent mark. they roll around in it. cool thing about them is their feet. they have fur on the bottom of their feet because it's found in the deserts of the -- the sahara deserts in africa. they can run across the hot sand. they don't have to worry about burning their feet. so they can run really fast. they don't have to worry about walking on the hot sand. they can live their whole life without water. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. >> just from eating, yeah. >> jimmy: and what is the name of this one again? >> it's called a fennec fox. >> jimmy: fennec fox. i've never have heard of this. >> pretty wild, right? >> jimmy: yeah. well, in fact i have heard of this before. did you bring an adult one? >> yeah. years ago and it shot fire out of its eyes. remember that? so cool. we got it in chinatown. it was like the coolest thing. >> jimmy: all right. yeah, yeah. do we have one more? >> fox that shoots fire.
12:57 am
yeah, you want to see this? >> jimmy: what do you have? >> awesomeness. bring it out, larry. >> jimmy: what? who's larry? [ applause ] >> now this -- look at that bad boy. that's called an alligator snapping turtle. it's pretty much like a dinosaur. this guy here is -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and why would you do something like that? >> this guy -- look at that thing. now, look. i got him. you're fine. get up here behind me. man up. >> jimmy: i am. >> man up. this is called an alligator snapping turtle. inside that mouth, they have been around before, during, and after dinosaurs. >> jimmy: oh my god! >> inside that mouth, he's got that little pink tongue and he wiggles it like a worm and waits for his food to come along. it comes in there -- >> jimmy: yeah, don't! >> he comes along, he grabs it and bam! just swallows him down. incredible. look at that thing. he's like a dinosaur >> jimmy: don't aim him towards me. >> i'm not aiming him. i'm holding him this way. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't even want to do -- >> he keeps trying to show you his tongue. >> jimmy: i don't want to make eye contact him. >> he's just trying to show you
12:58 am
his tongue. but he's an incredible creature. look at it. he's estimated to be about 150 years old. >> jimmy: 150 years old? >> yeah. pretty awesome. they found him in the wild in the swamps in louisiana, florida with musket balls actually mounted right in their shell. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> so, like early settlers come along -- bam -- what's up, you know. we're going to eat some turtles. >> jimmy: bam -- like that? >> whatever they say, yeah, they shoot them. and then the ball lands in the shell. >> jimmy: i'm surprised they didn't talk like that. yeah. >> and they shell grows right around it. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. we can -- i can tell you what they used to talk about. you can follow me on twitter. jeff animal guy on twitter. >> jimmy: what? [ light laughter ] >> jeff animal guy on twitter. you guys follow me and i'll tell you want they say. >> jimmy: i do follow. i don't know why i do follow you. i got to unfollow you on twitter. jeff -- thank you always -- for bringing us these great animals. >> no problem. >> jimmy: this guy is unbelievable. this is a dinosaur. look at this. >> pretty much. >> jimmy: wow. oh, my goodness. >> kiss him. >> jimmy: our thanks to jeff musial and his animals, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] follow him on twitter. @jeffanimalguy. we'll be right back with jeff daniels, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:59 am
what do you think about caffeine? we consume over two billion cups of coffee every week without a second thought. 5-hour energy has less caffeine than some starbucks coffees, plus it has vitamins and nutrients. it's simple... caffeine with vitamins and nutrients. it's the combination that makes it so great. before you make a decision, get the facts. try a sip and find out why so many people love 5-hour energy.
1:00 am
[ woman ] the technology in these pads... best creation ever! [ female announcer ] always infinity. invented with mind-blowing foam so incredibly thin, you'll be surprised it's up to 55% more absorbent. genius. always infinity. you'll be surprised land of the free and home oft. the mouth-watering ball park frank... made with 100% angus beef... and just a dash of democracy. ball park franks. so american you can taste it.
1:01 am
1:02 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a tony and golden globe nominated actor who stars in aaron sorkin's "the newsroom," which returns for a second season this sunday at 10:00 p.m. on hbo. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome jeff daniels! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey!
1:03 am
jeff daniels, welcome back to our show, my friend. >> awesome, glad to be here. >> jimmy: happy, happy fourth of july. did you have a good one? >> well -- yeah, i was there. a lot of people had a good one. what was it? a thursday. so, it was a five-day celebration. which -- you know, in michigan, in this country -- >> jimmy: oh, that's right. that's right, you live in michigan. >> it's a five-day drunk-a-thon, it's what it is. >> jimmy: it really is. >> which is great. which is terrific. i don't partake anymore, so i got to be the designated driver for about 185 people. >> jimmy: oh, that's so fun for you! >> it's fun. and what's a lot of fun is -- is the people who are in their 40s and 50s who don't drink that much anymore. but damn it, fourth of july i'm gonna -- i'm gonna tie one on. they're -- what is it? monday? they're just getting over the hangover -- >> jimmy: right now. they're just getting over their hangover. yeah, yeah. >> right now. oh, god, yeah. >> jimmy: after spending all weekend on the pontoon boat. >> that was -- that was fun. i mean, it was, you know, was enjoyable to watch people
1:04 am
deteriorate right in front of my eyes. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the way it goes. well, welcome back to our show. i just -- i'm getting over the jeff musial, the other jeff, the animal guy. >> oh, the alligator, snapping turtle. >> jimmy: it was frightening. >> which, you know, i spent a little time with him backstage, and if you're gentle with them, they make wonderful lovers. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no, jeff that's something else. [ laughter ] i'm gonna write those -- write this tidbit down. did you get scared of it? 'cause you were in "arachnophobia" with a spider. >> i was in "arachnophobia" with the spiders -- >> jimmy: you don't care? >> don't care? yeah, i care. but it was a gig. it was a job. and if it were snakes -- if it was a movie about -- i couldn't have. i'd still be in therapy. but it was spiders. >> jimmy: you're frightened of snakes? >> terrified. >> jimmy: i'm not gonna surprise you with a snake. i wouldn't do that. [ light laughter ] but the guy would do that. i'm sorry, i don't wanna get into this, but i don't like spiders or snakes. >> the big spider in "arachnophobia" was as big as my hand. >> jimmy: no. >> and when you got up close to it, it would -- [ hisses ]
1:05 am
rear up and hiss. >> jimmy: yeah. frightening. >> they put a rat in its cage on friday, and took out what was left on monday. that's how they fed it. >> jimmy: wow. really? >> the wranglers, nice guys, said, "don't worry, if he bites you in the middle of the scene, you'll get nauseous, but you won't die." [ light laughter ] and they said that wearing these huge leather gloves. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really, thanks for the advice, buddy. >> am i an idiot? apparently so. >> jimmy: yeah. but how close do they get to you? >> oh, my god. and i kept cheating. there was one thing where i had to, you know, look and it would crawl up and i'd pull the -- there was one time, i was wearing a brown plaid shirt. and one of the littler spiders, about two inches, they had this thing where they glued it. they glued it to the back of the spider and they would stand off camera and then flip it, and it would land on my shirt. so, it was a brown spider, brown plaid shirt, and you couldn't see it. they said, "jeff, do you mind if -- i mean, can we -- do you think maybe on your cheek? just right on your cheek, if we
1:06 am
could just --" i said, "how much money? how much money? how much --" [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: please. [ makes hissing sound ] >> and it landed right on my cheek, and, you know, i'm a hero. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: look at this. >> do we have it? oh, we got it. yeah. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about right there. that would be frightening right there. oh, my god. that would just be nuts. >> and i just got nauseous and i didn't die. >> jimmy: you just got nauseous? yeah. i gotta ask, i love you in "the newsroom," but i love you in the movies as well. and i gotta ask, are these guys coming back? what's going on? [ cheers and applause ] they are! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] "dumb and dumber 2!" we talk about it every time you come on. now what's happening? >> i know. >> jimmy: is it happening? >> well, i'll believe it's happening when i'm actually there staring at jim carrey, but it looks like we're starting in september, yeah. >> jimmy: you really are? it's happening? [ cheers and applause ]
1:07 am
♪ and the farrelly brothers are in on this as well? >> everybody's there, jim in particular. it'll be so great to be with jim carrey again. he is just one of the best we got. >> jimmy: oh, he's brilliant. >> and the two of us back together, it'll be the 20th anniversary of the first one next year when it's released. i've seen the script. it's hysterical. we're middle-aged. we're not pretending we aren't. we're middle-aged and we're still that stupid. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. well, give my best to farrelly brothers. >> i will. i will. >> jimmy: they're geniuses, as well as you are. so, let's talk about the drama side. now "the newsroom," you're doing hbo, this is unbelievable. i love this show. aaron sorkin, every word, like -- i don't know how you would memorize -- >> oh, it's a hundred miles an hour. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: unbelievably fun to watch and exciting. and i watch it, and i go, "well, they must be learning so much about cable news and just news in general." >> yeah, you learn a lot about
1:08 am
what these guys, who do it for real, are up against. especially like when there's breaking news or something. and they've got to -- they've got to give you information, but they can't speculate. you know, like, whether it's the boston bombings or the san francisco airplane crash recently, these guys, you're on the air, you gotta talk for 25 minutes, you only know two things and twitter is telling you that there are a whole bunch of other things. and you've gotta get confirmation, and you gotta be right, and everybody wants to be first. sometimes you're first and you're not right. that's the big struggle that they all -- they all struggle with that. when i watch the news, that's what i see. these guys trying to do it right. >> jimmy: and what is your character up against this season? >> will mcavoy is -- >> jimmy: love will mcavoy. >> yeah, he's got issues. and he's -- we screw up. we go into this season and we make a huge journalistic mistake. and the season really is about what we did wrong.
1:09 am
and it's a really strong season about drones, and we go on the air reporting something and get it wrong and -- >> jimmy: i can't wait to see it. congratulations on your nominations from last year. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you deserve it. i want everyone to look at a clip, here's jeff daniels in "the newsroom." >> this is how this works -- >> you know the arresting officer? is he a friend of yours? >> he is. >> has he ever been a subject of a 1983 action? if you're not sure, then he hasn't because it's a charge for civil rights violations that never doesn't end with badges and service resolvers being tossed on desks. >> i'm sure it was a by the book arrest. and that -- >> anwar al-awlaki was killed today. it wasn't accident. there was no warrant, no arrest, no arraignment, no judge, no jury, and no appeal. >> how do you spell -- >> not here. a u.s. citizen was targeted. another's on death row for the crime of not being able to afford a good lawyer. and a bunch more have been locked up for wearing halloween masks. so, obviously what i'm doing is
1:10 am
dealing with the easiest one! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jeff daniels right there! "the newsroom" airs sundays at 10:00 p.m. on hbo. you gotta watch it, it's good stuff. nick swardson joins us next, there in the bud light platinum suite. hey, nick! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
1:11 am
1:12 am
1:13 am
1:14 am
1:15 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a hilarious comedian who joins adam sandler, chris rock, david spade, salma hayek, and a bunch of other big stars in "grown ups 2," which opens everywhere this friday. cannot wait for it. put it together for a funny, funny dude. here's nick swardson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow. >> wow. >> jimmy: that's the way to do
1:16 am
it right there. nick swardson -- >> what's up guys? >> jimmy: of course, a very patriotic t-shirt. and it really is nice. yeah. [ scattered applause ] >> american flag, and then an eagle chugging a beer. >> jimmy: yeah, he's just chugging a beer. that's exactly -- exactly -- >> that's how it should be. that's their actual food that they do eat. >> jimmy: is that right? did you learn that from the animal expert? this is a -- yeah. >> jimmy: eagles drink beer? i didn't know that was their food. >> yeah, man. >> jimmy: are you patriotic? did you have a big fourth of july? did you party down? >> i go big, man. yeah, i went big. >> jimmy: you did? >> i hit two barbecues in north korea. [ light laughter ] which wasn't as fun as you'd think it would be. >> jimmy: no. for the fourth, not at all. >> and my buddies told me, they were like, "no, we said north dakota." and i was like, "ah, i was way off." way off on that one. >> jimmy: you were going to a korean barbecue, yeah. >> yeah, we got pretty hammered. >> jimmy: you did? >> i looked like that turtle. >> jimmy: no, you did not. why? i guess you just went for it. >> yeah, just went for it. >> jimmy: and raged? what, do you go to barbecues? what do you do? >> i went to barbecues and my friends are like real loose
1:17 am
cannons, and so they go and they get fireworks, but they like, go to nevada. i live in los angeles. they go to nevada and get like, the most illegal fireworks you can get. so then they bring those to the party, and it's like a nice barbecue, and they're like, "we got some stuff to light off." we're in like a nice residential neighborhood. and they would light off fireworks that weren't even fun. it was just like -- [ imitates fireworks noises ] >> jimmy: just really loud. >> like, nobody can hear. there's smoke, and it's just like, horrifying. >> jimmy: yeah, i know exactly. yeah. angry fireworks. >> not enjoyable. so, knuckleheads, they start lighting these off and then the cops came, of course, 'cause the neighbors are like, "are we under attack? what is happening? is it an alien invasion?" >> jimmy: you can't do this in l.a. >> yeah, so, my buddy, like, decides to run from the cops. so he jumps in his truck and takes off. >> jimmy: what? >> yeah, in l.a. where it's like, we're pretty good at car chases. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kind of known for it, yeah. >> you're not throwing us a curveball.
1:18 am
so he went to jail. he got arrested. >> jimmy: no, for real? >> yeah, yeah. i mean, he's out, he's not gonna do like life or anything, but -- [ laughter ] couple bottle rockets, they're like, "take him away, man." >> jimmy: 'cause i saw you -- i follow you on twitter and i saw you put out like, a pretty angry tweet there. you made a statement. you said, "just saw someone jogging on the fourth of july. wtf, jogger lunatic. i hope a bald eagle eats your blank. [ laughter ] chug booze at a bbq like a champ." >> i was a little buzzed. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you were mad? >> i was at like, a barbecue, we were all having fun and it was like 6:00 p.m., and i just see some dude. and i was like it's fourth of july, man. like, hang out with your buddies. dial it down. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah 'cause we won. >> yeah, man. it's like, yeah, it's america. like, hang out. have some beer and some chips, go to grill. you know what i mean? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: don't you have some beer and chips? >> don't sit there and run. >> jimmy: just have a couple chips. >> yeah. just sit down, drink a beer and
1:19 am
have some chips. my friend's got some fireworks. [ imitates fireworks noises ] we should've aimed some at him. >> jimmy: no, you can't do that. >> make him run way faster. [ imitates fireworks noises ] >> jimmy: that's not safe. >> you're right, i shouldn't be here. >> jimmy: i'm very excited about "grown ups 2," my friend. the sequel, it's in theaters this friday. [ cheers and applause ] you got my man, adam sandler, spade, chris rock, kevin james -- shaquille o'neal -- >> shaquille o'neal -- >> jimmy: -- plays a cop in this. >> yeah. it's amazing. >> jimmy: it's unbelievably funny. >> it's weird. you know what's funny? he's actually only four feet tall. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not true. >> it's all mirrors. >> jimmy: nick, i don't think that's true. >> it's all mirrors. >> jimmy: are you sure? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i don't know if that's true. >> no, it's a crazy cast. it's like there's so many people in this movie. it's amazing. >> jimmy: and you shot this in boston? >> shot in boston for three months. >> jimmy: oh, it's a great city. >> bit of a drinking town. >> jimmy: yes. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you get in trouble there? >> yeah, it was hard because, you know, when you're shooting and you know the hours are
1:20 am
really long, the call times are really early, you gotta be on set 6:00 a.m. and when you're on camera -- like, this is a lesson i learned -- i'm sure you learned it too -- like, when you're acting, don't go out drinking the night before. >> jimmy: no. >> 'cause you're gonna look hungover on camera, and it'll be on film forever. [ light laughter ] and like, you'll be watching a movie later and you're like, "i look horrible. i remember that night." [ light laughter ] so, i'm shooting in boston, and like, all my friends are like hardcore partiers in boston. like, you know, "what's up, nick?" so they didn't understand that like, i didn't want to drink the night before. so they would always call me every night and be like -- [ with boston accent ] "what's up, swardson? let's go grab some cocktails." i'm like, "no, guys. i gotta get up in the morning. not drinking." [ with boston accent ] "right, all right, let's chug some beers and some shots." [ light laughter ] >> i'm like, "no, i'm not drinking. i'm not gonna drink." they're like, "yeah, yeah. let's just chug like ten bottles of wine." [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: well, i'm excited, i don't want to give away a spoiler alert here, but -- >> oh. >> jimmy: i don't want to, but i'm going to.
1:21 am
>> by the way, "grown ups 2" is more intense than "the newsroom." that's how intense. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you sure? it is? >> how intense was that clip? >> jimmy: i go, "how do you act on top of memorizing all those things." i couldn't do that at all. >> i, like, watched that, i'm like, "i was in 'benchwarmers.'" [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: he's so good, man. he nails it. >> "dumb and dumber to," though -- >> jimmy: oh, i know, "dumb and dumber to," come on, how great is that gonna be? i'm so excited. so, here you are, "grown ups 2," and every time you work with sandler -- he's such a great guy, but he always wants to have a good time. and he's like, "oh, i got a good idea." and then he always makes you do something insane in the movie. >> always. >> jimmy: any time he says that you run from him. >> i run. >> jimmy: "i got a good idea." you're like -- [ talking over each other ] >> "hey, swardson. come here." he always makes his friends -- like if you see his movies, he always makes them look as ugly and psychotic as he possibly can. and then he has all the chicks. like, there's never like -- so, yeah, in this movie, there's a scene where i'm at a costume
1:22 am
party and i'm dressed up as boy george. [ laughter ] which is already weird. and he's like -- [ imitating sandler ] "whoa, whoa, whoa, swardson. take your clothes off." i was like, "what?" "yeah, we'll just have the hair and the make up and then you'll be in underwear." i'm like, "all right." then he's like, "make it tighty whiteys." >> jimmy: of course it's gonna be tighty whiteys. >> so in a scene with steve buscemi, who i worship -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> so i'm sitting here with steve in my tighty whiteys as boy george. then sandler goes, "whoa, one more thing. add some pee to the crotch." [ audience ohs ] add pee to my crotch. so i'm sitting there with steve buscemi, and they're like, dabbing pee -- i'm like, "hey, 'boardwalk empire.'" >> jimmy: i want to take a look at a clip. here's adam sandler and nick swardson in "grown ups 2." check this out. >> how you doing, nick? >> my wife's leaving me. after three weeks. >> three weeks?
1:23 am
that's not bad for you. what happened? >> she found me eating a banana with my butt. >> and she didn't like that? >> yeah, she got really bummed out. but, you know, i shouldn't have done it at her mom's house. >> you seem -- you seem like you're a little extra out of it today. what's going on? >> yeah, i'm a little medicated. i met a very reliable doctor at a cypress hill concert, and he floated me a couple pills just to feel better, you know -- [ high pitched ] but i don't feel better -- [ demonic voice ] you feel worse. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nick swardson, "grown ups 2" opens everywhere this friday. we got music from preservation hall jazz band after the break. stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
1:24 am
it's time to rethink wet food for your pet. at petsmart, you'll find new innovations, quality ingredients and exciting flavors. meal time will never be the same! right now, at petsmart, save big on your cat's favorite wet food during our canapalooza event.
1:25 am
[ male announcer ] men -- you've tortured your face enough. end the face torture. new dove men + care face lotion hydrates skin to keep it looking good. take better care of your face with dove men + care. [ sound fades ] at a moment like this, i'm glad i use tampax pearl. [ female announcer ] tampax pearl protects better. only tampax has a leakguard braid to help stop leaks before they happen. tampax pearl protects better. why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. ask if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain;
1:26 am
it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age of taking action. viagra. talk to your doctor.
1:27 am
1:28 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are an institution in their native new orleans. their new album, "that's it," will be out tomorrow and all this will they'll be performing at the mckittrick hotel right here in new york. tonight, they are performing on tv as a band for the first time since "saturday night live" back in 1976.
1:29 am
please welcome preservation hall jazz band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
1:30 am
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
1:31 am
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
1:32 am
♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! preservation hall jazz band! [ cheers and applause ] see them live all this week at the mckittrick hotel right here in new york. we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ dad ] ah! lilly.
1:33 am
she pretty much lives in her favorite princess dress... and she's not exactly tidy. even if she gets a stain... she'll wear it for a week straight. so i use tide to get out those week-old stains and downy to get it fresh and soft. and since i'm the one who has to do the laundry... i do what any expert dad would do. i let her play sheriff. i got twenty minutes to life. you are free to go! [ male announcer ] week old stains and odors just met their match. tide and downy, better together.
1:34 am
1:35 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to jeff daniels, nick swardson, jeff musial, preservation hall jazz band. [ cheers and applause ] and the greatest band in late night, the roots, everybody, right there. stay tuned for carson daly. thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on