to find somebody ♪ ♪ i'll find somebody like you oh oh oh ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: kodaline. nice job, gentlemen. nice job, guys. thank you, guys. thank you, thank you. i want to thank my guests -- savannah guthrie, mark cuban and kodaline. tomorrow night, kim kardashian will be here. but, "jimmy fallon" happening right now. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: thank you very, very much. welcome, everybody, to "late night with jimmy fallon." thank you for being here. hot crowd. hot crowd, right there. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome. we're going to have fun tonight, you guys. here's what people are talking about. katy perry raised some eyebrows today in a new interview. katy said that too many female singers are wearing revealing outfits just to get attention. [ laughter ] unfortunately, the interviewer didn't hear a word she said because fireworks were coming out of her bra. [ laughter ] point taken. [ cheers and applause ] point taken. thank you very much. hey, guys, halloween is just a couple of days away. [ cheers and applause ] the fun times. be safe, everybody. this is a fun thing. krispy kreme says that it will give a free doughnut to any customer who shows up wearing a costume on halloween. yeah. so if you're the kind of person

willing to take the time to dress up in a costume just to get a free doughnut -- [ laughter ] then, yes, this is rock bottom. [ cheers and applause ] this is it. nothing but up from here, baby. [ light laughter ] i'm batman. okay, that's it. [ laughter ] speaking of halloween, i read that americans are expected to spend more than $2 billion on halloween candy this year. those americans are honey boo boo and mama june. [ laughter and applause ] [ as mama june ] "i want my reese's, y'all!" [ laughter ] i couldn't believe this study. this is true. oh, man. higgins, this is going to bum you out. new study says that eating pasta -- you guys like pasta? [ cheers and applause ] get ready for this. i know, me too. a new study found that eating pasta can actually cause depression. [ audience ohs ] yeah. though, not as much as that other thing, dressing up like

batman to get a free doughnut. [ laughter and applause ] that's the worst. but then pasta -- >> steve: it's all up after that. >> jimmy: let's see what's happening in washington. the spying scandal here is all anyone's talking about. they're saying the u.s. has been listening in on german chancellor angela merkel. but now, obama is claiming that he didn't know about it. [ light laughter ] in fact, earlier the president called a press conference to address the issue. he admitted to a lot of things he wasn't aware of. let's take a look. [ cheers and applause ] >> my fellow americans. first of all, it's true. the u.s. has been spying on german chancellor angela merkel, but the fact is, i wasn't aware of it. just because i'm president doesn't mean i know everything. [ laughter ] case in point, i just found out that the pumpkin spice latte -- not made with real pumpkins. [ laughter ] it's all chemicals.

i mean, come on, what? not real pumpkins? another thing, i wasn't aware that "sister act 2: back in the habit" is a pun. you see, the habit they're talking about is a nun's habit, like the things they wear, you know, on their head. a habit, all this time i thought it meant they were back in the habit of singing and dancing. [ light laughter ] whoopi one. obama zero. [ laughter and applause ] here's another one. here's another one. i didn't know that snuffleupagus is big bird's imaginary friend. and only big bird can see him. i mean, if that's true, how can i see him? [ laughter ] am i big bird? am i big bird? [ laughter ] i have no idea at this point.

#i'mshakingmydamnheadonthatone. [ laughter and applause ] finally, this one really freaked my bean out. [ light laughter ] i didn't know that steve urkel -- sounds like he might be related to angela merkel was the same person as stefan urquelle. [ laughter ] i mean, look. look now. steve urkel is a little pip-squeak nerd and stefan urquelle is a smooth, suave sex machine like me. [ laughter ] but apparently, they're the same person. that's kind of [ bleep ] up right? i mean -- oh, oh. oops. [ as urkel ] "did i say that?" [ laughter ] and in conclusion, all right. i didn't know we spied, so that means i'm off the hook, suckers. obama out of here. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: president obama, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] you guys, earlier this week, hackers from syria targeted president obama's twitter and facebook accounts. which got even weirder when obama hired them to fix the obamacare website. [ laughter ] you guys know what you're doing? you guys even know what you're doing? this is pretty cool, actually. did you guys see this? a blooper reel from the original "star wars" movies was leaked online this week. that's right. a series of embarrassing "star wars" mistakes caught on film. or as fans call that, the last three "star wars" movies. [ laughter and applause ] there you go. you nerds out there, you liked it. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> steve: meesa liked that. >> jimmy: here's some more movie news. after the success of the action movie, "the expendables" -- you know that movie? well, there's talk there's a new version starring only women is in the works. yeah, a female version of "the expendables." it's gonna be a lot like the one with schwarzenegger and stallone but with smaller breasts. [ laughter ]

very excited about that. [ scattered applause ] the winter olympics are now just 100 days away. we're all excited here at nbc. it's on our network. [ cheers and applause ] sochi! it's in russia. [ with russian accent ] and russian president vladimir putin -- i have to pronounce it like that. thank you rosetta stone. [ laughter ] the russian president vladimir putin now says that gays and lesbians will be welcome at the games in sochi. isn't that great? isn't that nice? [ cheers and applause ] that's nice. we were worried about that for a second. in fact, they've even decided to change many of the current olympic sports to make them more gay friendly. for instance, the biathlon -- [ laughter ] will now be the bi-curious-athlon. [ laughter ] the two-man luge will now be the two-man lube. [ laughter ]

>> steve: how would you consider that a sport? >> jimmy: i don't know how you would score it. finally, men's figure skating will now be men's figure skating. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] it will be more exciting for everybody. set your tivo's for the olympics. some more sports news. i saw that the nba started back up tonight. very excited about the nba. it's back! [ cheers and applause ] that's right. the miami heat are hoping to win their third championship in a row, while the other teams are just hoping to have some fun out there. [ laughter ] oh, i just heard this. this is weird. it's not good. i read that a gallon of milk could soon cost more than $8, if congress can't agree on a farm bill before the end of the year. well, i guess why it explains today. a cow came up to me and said, "hey, let's cut out the middleman. seven bucks a gallon." [ laughter and applause ] all right. crazy story over the weekend.

a man in texas -- i think it was down in dallas, actually. this guy actually survived being struck by lightning twice in the same weekend. [ light laughter ] yeah, he said he's grateful to be alive, and that it's all thanks to his lucky metal hat. that's what saved him. my lucky metal hat. [ laughter ] this video -- i'm going to show you a video that just made me laugh today. this is just insane. i love this. two fishermen were working on a travel show for a tv station in mexico. and they were taking a photo with the fish they caught, when a sea lion showed up out of nowhere. check this out. >> oh! >> jimmy: yeah, baby! [ cheers and applause ] it got weird when, minutes later, it came back and stole a six pack of beer. we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, we got a fun show tonight. she stars in the critically acclaimed new movie about jack kerouac. the gorgeous, the talented, kate bosworth is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] plus, he's a comedy legend with a great new book about his life. one of my heroes. tim conway is here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] one of the funniest human beings. >> steve: hilarious. >> jimmy: one of the funniest guys i've ever met in my life. i just love him so much. i mean, not just carol burnett. but even on "30 rock," he's so funny. >> steve: with don knotts in those movies? >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. he's just unbelievable. i actually got to meet him before the show. i had my lawyer out in l.a.,

tom rowan, who is the best dude in the whole wide world. he's just so awesome and nice. and he wanted to have a barbeque for me and my wife. so we go out. he's goes, "we'll have some friends out there, and we'll have tim conway come over." i go, "i'd love to meet tim conway. i'm so excited. i'm a big fan." he goes, "yeah, he's a friend of ours. come over to the house." so me and my wife take a cab out to -- in l.a., i hate to drive. i'm an awful driver. so we take a cab out to this place. we get out, and tom was there and his wife marla, who's awesome. she played the mom on "small wonder," who is awesome. so i go to their house, and they greet us with like two margaritas. i'm like, this is so awesome. i love this party. all ready, they're that cool. so we go in, like, fun. and he introduces me to all his friends. it's all good. and tim's wife, i met, she's so awesome. he goes, "this is tim conway over here." and i go, "oh, hey tim." i go to shake his hand. he pulls me in, and he goes, "you got to get me the [ bleep ] out of here. [ laughter ] i don't know these people. i don't know these people." that was his opening line. he's genius. he's genius. he just had me laughing for the whole party.

tim conway's on our show tonight. there's his book right there. [ cheers and applause ] i love him so much. >> steve: brilliant. >> jimmy: and then, we've got some great music. oh, my goodness. chromeo featuring death from above 1979. [ cheers and applause ] everything is all chromed out, all their instruments. oh, i love it. chromeo will be here tonight, you guys. they're so fun. hey, guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, we will be taking a look at the pros and cons of being dracula. [ laughter ] halloween is coming up. it is his favorite time of year. but life as a vampire isn't all fun and games. so let's take a look at the pros and cons of being dracula. here we go. pro, dracula is great. [ light laughter ] con, he also sucks. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: pro, he can read

minds, turn into a bat and live forever. con, he still can't figure out how to sign up for obamacare. [ laughter and applause ] that's very tricky. still working out the glitches. >> steve: they don't have sickness. >> jimmy: very tricky. >> steve: they don't get sick. >> jimmy: pro, drinking the blood of the virgin gives him immense power. con, drinking the blood of hoda and kathie lee gives him an immense hangover. [ laughter and applause ] they do enjoy their wine. >> steve: that's 40 proof. they're fun people, but -- >> jimmy: pro, dracula leaves cool fang marks on his victim's necks. con, or as he likes to call them, vamp stamps. [ laughter ] sounds much cooler. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: pro, he can't see his reflection in the mirror. con, which makes it impossible to take bathroom selfies. [ laughter ] very popular thing. bummer for dracula. >> steve: the dracula selfie. >> jimmy: pro, he gets to live forever. con, it's not quite as fun to yell, "yolf!" [ laughter ] >> steve: yolf! >> jimmy: yeah. pro, watching him sing his favorite song, "monster mash."

con, watching him sing his second favorite song, "up all night to get sucky." [ laughter ] ♪ i want to suck your blood i'm not afraid of your blood i want to drink some blood ♪ ♪ i'm up all night to get sucky i'm up all night get sucky ♪ >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: oh. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: and finally, pro, he can't go out in the sunlight or his skin will burn. con, so basically dracula is irish. cool. [ cheers and applause ] that's your "pros and cons." we'll be right back with more late night, everybody. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (door bell rings)

trick or treat! mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm!

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to our show, everybody. you know what time it is! it's time to play karate pinata. ♪ karate pinata ♪ hi-ya! >> jimmy: this is karate pinata. the time honored sport of kicking pinatas while blindfolded. behold the fiesta ring. [ gong ] [ cheers and applause ] i am your sensei, jimmy fallon. [ gong ] now, please welcome our three audience contestants. come on out, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] welcome to karate pinata dojo.

what is your name, and where are you from? >> i'm nick, and i'm from austin, texas. [ cheers ] >> i'm andy, and i'm from wallingford, connecticut. [ cheers ] >> i'm scott, and i'm from bethel, connecticut. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: now, here's how the game works. scott, pay attention. [ laughter ] to your left you'll see four confetti filled pinatas, each of which bears striking resemblance to four current celebrities in the news. vladimir putin. edward snowden. uncle si from "duck dynasty." and the invisible man. now, one at a time, you'll take your place under the fiesta ring. when play starts, the pinatas will slowly spin, and you'll have 20 seconds to break as many as you can. whoever breaks the most, wins the grand prize. and oh, what a prize it is. higgins? >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's winner will be taking home $300 worth of old el paso taco dinners.

[ cheers and applause ] it's the perfect snack for when you go home, when your hungry, and when $299 worth of old el paso taco fajitas just won't do. banzai, jimmy? >> jimmy: thank you, higgins. thank you, cwar? [ gong ] all right, now, a few things before we start. first, you can only break the pinatas using karate kicks. you cannot use your hands. you cannot use your body. in addition, the pinatas must fully break in order to count. and also keep in mind, in the event of a tie, our great audience will decide the winner based on kicking awesomeness. so really bring it when you get out there. [ cheers and applause ] all right. contestant number one you are up. go take your place, and put on your blindfold. let's get the fiesta ring spinning. remember to stay on the mat at all times. 20 seconds on the clock, please. ready, set, kick. ♪

♪ >> jimmy: very nice. very nice. blindfold off. oh, my god. you did great. you did fantastic. what a great job. you want to see what he did in slow motion? let's take a look. ♪ there you are missing that one. and then this one here. you thought you had that one, then you missed. this is where it all went wrong. but, hey, that's good right there. we're basing this on effort. you really -- you basically broke all of them. higgins, how many pinatas did he break? >> steve: zero. [ sad tuba ] >> jimmy: oh. well, zero, all right. no problem. contestant number two, you are up. why don't you go take a place right there on the fiesta ring. [ cheers and applause ] remember, you can't use your hands or your body, only kicks. very good. once your blindfold is on, you may begin. ready?

20 seconds on the clock. ready? set? kick. ♪ >> jimmy: yeah! oh, my. perfect! come on over. that was a good time, right there. that was great. let's see what you did in slow motion. take a peek right now. wow. right there, that -- that was it. then you kind of floated in, right there. beautiful, like a crane kick. [ laughter ] and then, here's a sneaky three shot there. then -- sneaky three shot. and then, here comes the weird fast move. bang right there. just destroyed that pinata. and in the face of confidence, you just stood there like, ooh-ha-ha-ha-ha. higgins, how many pinatas did

she break? >> steve: one! ♪ >> jimmy: there you go, right there. you're in the lead. you're in the lead right now. oh, my goodness. contestant number three. here we go, buddy. >> nervous. >> jimmy: we replaced the broken pinata so that they're all full for you. this is it. [ laughter ] ♪ this is what it all comes down to. all the work. all the training. this is your time. this is your moment. [ laughter and applause ] you've been wanting to do this ever since you were a baby. [ cheers ] you're the baby. [ laughter ] all right. go take your place over there in the fiesta ring. [ cheers and applause ] let's start the ring up. put on your blindfold. 20 seconds on the clock! ready, set, kick. ♪

oh! oh! oh! oh! ♪ >> jimmy: hey, he's an animal! get over here! don't get excited. that's from the last round. that's from the last round. great job, my friend. let's take a look at what you did in slow motion. that was really nice. bang! oh, my god. there's one right there. then, you slaughtered that one. right. it was just insane right there. oh, look at that in slow motion. just beautiful. absolutely beautiful. higgins? higgins, how many pinatas did he break? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: three! >> jimmy: that means you are the winner! congratulations. you won the contest right there. [ cheers and applause ]

300 taco dinners. congratulations to you. of course, no one goes home empty-handed. you guys will each be taking home these official "late night with jimmy fallon" black belts. thank you to everyone for playing karate pinata. [ cheers and applause ] stick around. we'll be right back with kate bosworth. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening has lit up the big screen in movies like "superman returns," "21," and "straw dogs."

in theaters starting this friday, you can see her in the critically acclaimed movie version of jack kerouac's novel "big sur." please welcome back to the show a talented actress. here is kate bosworth. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: please, have a seat. congrats on the movie. congrats on everything. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're a giant movie star, but also, you're a designer as well? >> yes, i just -- >> jimmy: a clothing designer. >> my topshop my collection just opened, launched a few days ago. >> jimmy: now, what does topshop collection mean? what does that mean? >> well, you guys know topshop? [ cheers ] it's -- you know, girls love topshop. >> jimmy: i don't know topshop. i know "top chef." it has nothing to do with that at all. >> i know "top chef," too. i like "top chef." but it's fantastic. it's, of the moment, pieces at the right price point. so girls love to shop there.

and i've been a fan of the brand for a long time, and they asked me to come on board and create a coachella collection for them. >> jimmy: because your family -- weirdly enough, you're the third generation involved in the clothing business. >> i am. i know, it's a little strange. my father was in retail, and his father was in retail. so the apple didn't fall far from the tree. >> jimmy: are they proud of you? they must be so excited that you're doing that. >> they are. yeah, they are. >> jimmy: and you get to design everything yourself? >> i work with a team, yes. it's definitely a collaboration. >> jimmy: look at that right there. that's what i'm talking about. that's how cool you look when you wear the kate bosworth collection? >> oh, my goodness. >> jimmy: do you have a name? is it the kate bosworth collection or no? >> it's just called the collection. >> jimmy: that's how cool it is. yeah. [ laughter ] go in, ask for the collection. they know where to steer you. >> we'll let it speak for itself. >> jimmy: yeah. let it speak for itself. absolutely, yeah. see, i couldn't do that. you look great. like modeling and all this stuff. look at this. on the cover of -- >> oh, my goodness. >> jimmy: "lucky." how pretty, oh my. [ applause ] that's exciting. did you have to go to fashion shows and do all that stuff? and figure it all out and design the shows and all that?

or do you do it differently? >> well, i worked on this collection very much the way that i like to see the design in the world. and this particular collection was very minimal. kind of more luxury because it's fall. so you want to bundle up more and feel more luxurious. so it's very classic. you know, my father always taught me to maintain a sense of classic style. that never goes out of style. >> jimmy: yeah, classic never goes out of style, which is why i bought this hair. [ laughter ] speaking of classics, though, jack kerouac. you're doing this movie and i go -- i mean, it must be a lot of pressure. you go to do a movie, using his work. and "big sur" -- of course, we all know "on the road." >> right. >> jimmy: jack kerouac. "big sur" is a different vibe altogether. >> "big sur" is the end of the road for jack. he was really in a dark place at the time. it's one of the only self-chronicled nervous breakdowns. you know, he was a fascinating man. and obviously, a very difficult

adaptation to take from script to screen. i signed on because of the filmmaker, honestly. i was interested to see how he would visualize the piece. >> jimmy: that's a beautiful movie. and the director, michael polish -- who i met backstage. you're auditioning for him. you're going, "i want to get in this movie." and you're auditioning for him, and you realize you guys have a little chemistry. >> i hear we both married our bosses. >> yeah, i did. yeah. my wife produced a movie i was in called "fever pitch." >> yes. >> jimmy: and i ended up marrying her right after the movie. [ cheers and applause ] this is -- and what happened with you? >> yes. you know, we worked together, and i just was blown away by him as a filmmaker and a man. and we just got married. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how cool is that? >> you know, when it works, it works. >> jimmy: when it works, it works. and gosh, you're both so happy backstage. it was really, really cute. yeah, it's really, really good.

well, it's the beginning of your lives together. and it's the end of jack kerouac's in this movie. >> oh man. >> jimmy: but i want to show everyone a clip of kate bosworth in "big sur." it's in theaters starting this friday. check it out. it's good. >> billie, what are we going to do? >> we'll get married and fly to mexico with elliott. >> billie, i don't want to get married. i'm afraid. i want to go home and die with my cat. >> jack? what have i done wrong? i'll tell you what you've done wrong. you withhold your love. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. she's great in it. go see kate bosworth in "big sur." it opens this friday. tim conway joins us after the

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a six time emmy award winning actor and legendary comedian, whose new book "what's so funny: my hilarious life" is in stores today. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to our show, tim conway. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tim, it is great to have you on the show. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: thank you so much for being here. >> ha-ha.

>> jimmy: i'm so sorry about that restraining order. >> well, i guess -- >> jimmy: welcome my friend. nice to see you. we give out free water backstage. >> yeah, i got a free water. >> jimmy: big budget. big budget on our show. thank you for coming on our program. >> i had nothing else to do. >> jimmy: i know. don't be honest. you don't have to be honest. you don't have to be honest. >> yeah. >> jimmy: here you are. >> congratulations on what you're doing here. you're moving into the -- >> jimmy: "the tonight show." >> "tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm a little nervous about it. thank you very much. i just kind of want it to start because i'm just getting -- i'm too nervous about it. i don't want to start over thinking it. >> well, i was up for it, and -- >> jimmy: sorry about that. i apologize. >> it's okay. >> jimmy: no, no, no, no. because there's always -- >> that's fine. >> jimmy: there's always something on -- we can find something on the web or something. >> yeah, sure, great. >> jimmy: no, i'm sorry. >> hi, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i would ask you for advice because -- >> well, go ahead. >> jimmy: do you have any advice? >> no.

>> jimmy: no, you don't. but you used to hang out with johnny carson, didn't you? >> i started that rumor, yeah. [ laughter ] and it never really caught on. >> jimmy: it' never -- no. no one believed it? no, i'm so sorry. >> yeah, well, i kind of, in a way, i guess, yeah. >> jimmy: like he's a very kind of a private guy, wasn't he? >> he was? >> jimmy: yes. >> well, that's interesting. i didn't know that. >> jimmy: wasn't he? >> no, he was kind of -- >> jimmy: he never really went out that well. and so he would just have you around to make -- >> and harvey. yeah. well, i had to go everywhere with harvey because he has no friends. >> jimmy: no. yeah, yeah, yeah. he never had any friends. harvey korman. no, yeah. he just seemed like a guy no one would want to hang out with. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. totally. now, let's start when you were born. >> what a great band. >> jimmy: that's the roots, right there. tim conway is giving you props. [ cheers and applause ] you ever play an instrument? >> i played the -- no. >> jimmy: okay, no, you didn't. no. you never played, never tried. >> never played. >> jimmy: you didn't even want to get into comedy?

>> no, i was going to be a jockey, actually. >> jimmy: you wanted to be a horse -- ride horses? >> this way, even the horses ask you to get off. [ laughter ] so -- >> jimmy: please step off me. >> yeah, my dad was training race horses, and so i was going to be a jockey. >> jimmy: where was that? where was he training race horses? >> it's none of your business. >> jimmy: no, no. i'm sorry. >> what are you some kind of informant or something? >> jimmy: no, it's a talk show. i have to ask you questions. >> in gates mills, ohio. >> jimmy: that must be beautiful. where did he race? >> in randall park and things of that nature, yeah. the first time i was ever in a starting gate, the guy said put the horse in here. and i was exercising at the track. and i got in the gate. and he said, "you're ready." and i wanted to say to him, "i've never been in the starting gate." and the gates opened, and i was watching this horse go down the track. and i said, "boy, i wish i was on that horse." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it would have been so much more fun if you -- yeah, it was the end of your career. >> people get so upset when they bet on you, and you're not on

the horse. >> jimmy: why? what is their problem? what is wrong with humans? that's so silly of them. but then, we were talking backstage. you once -- well, more than once. >> take your time. take your time. >> jimmy: thank you. >> both: you -- once -- was -- an -- >> owner -- >> jimmy: of a horse. >> yes, that's why i'm doing this show right now. >> jimmy: yeah, not very profitable. not very profitable at all. >> no. yes, i had 12 horses at one time. >> jimmy: wow. >> i bought my wife, rather than an engagement ring or a wedding ring, i bought her a horse. and then, unfortunately, i had to tell her that we had to put her horse away, and her ring. >> jimmy: and the ring, as well. yeah. >> and the marriage, the whole thing went. >> jimmy: no, i just saw her back there. she's awesome. >> that's not my wife. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kate bosworth. congratulations. you directed her film. [ laughter ]

you guys met on set, and then fell in love. >> there you go. >> jimmy: i bought a horse once. i got asked to invest in a horse. >> uh-huh. wise move, yeah. >> jimmy: it is. >> that and a boat. >> jimmy: i know. >> yeah, get both of those. >> jimmy: i just thought, "look, if m.c. hammer can do it, i can do it." >> yeah. >> jimmy: and so i invested in this horse. i thought if you get a horse that you can name it whatever you want to because it's yours. >> yes. >> jimmy: so i was going to name it something like sea warrior. >> uh-huh. good idea, yeah. >> jimmy: the names are always tricky like that. and i'm going to say like, you're going to win. you're going to win the kentucky derby or whatever. i don't know what my goal was. >> yes. >> jimmy: i was like, "great." and the go, no you can't name your horse. the horse is named from the sire and the -- >> oh yes. yeah, yeah. >> it has something to do with who the mother and father of the horse. >> yeah. we named our horse mother and father. yeah. >> jimmy: is that right? see, that's confusing. but, i get the name of the horse. and the name of the horse is, i swear, is poco bueno. [ laughter ] which means "a little bit good." >> yes. >> jimmy: so i go, "well, what happened? who bought mucho bueno?"

who bought bueno even? what happened with this? anyways, we bet on him. i went to the otb and bet on him, and he lost. came in last place. >> well, i had the same problem. yeah. here's a look at you and your buddy. you and harvey. this is one of my favorite sketches, the dentist. >> yes. >> jimmy: everyone will remember this. i remember crying. i think this might be one of the first times i actually from laughing that hard. >> actually, if you watch it on television, and if you watch very closely in a two shot, you can see harvey actually wetting his pants from laughing. >> jimmy: for real? >> oh, yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: does he really? >> very poor intestines, yeah. >> jimmy: well, the fun thing was, was that you would surprise the other cast members with different bits? >> yes. >> jimmy: you have a talent that i don't have. many talents i don't have. but one is -- first of all, you're funny. second of all, you can keep a straight face when you're in a comedy sketch. >> yes. >> jimmy: where i cannot.

i laugh at every single thing. i just love to laugh. i'm not that great of an actor, but will ferrell would do stuff like you would do. he knew i would laugh. >> yes. >> jimmy: so you knew that harvey korman would laugh, and you were like, "i'm going to make him laugh." >> well, harvey claimed to be one of the great authorities on comedy, and he really wasn't. [ laughter ] so he said, "you should never laugh at your own material." and i said, "well, nobody else is." >> jimmy: how do i get the ball rolling? yeah, yeah. >> i want to jump in there and start something. so away it went. >> jimmy: away it went. and all the stories are in here. gosh, if you guys want to read a funny book about just how to be funny and the just road to being funny -- i just loved it so much. i can't thank you enough. i'm honored to have you on the show. and, hopefully, you come back. >> i can take a note of rejection. this is -- it's over. >> jimmy: it's almost over.

yeah, it's almost time to go. but, no, no. you can stay forever, though. we love you so much. and i've got to say this as well, by the way. if you want to make it a tim conway christmas, get this. >> wow, what a night. >> jimmy: "dorf: the super fan collection" on dvd. it is so good. we love having you here, pal. thanks for everything. come back, come back. come back whenever you're in town. >> i'd love to stay. >> jimmy: please, don't leave. tim conway! "what's so funny: my hilarious life" is in stores now. chromeo performs next. tim, tim, over here! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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by not even considering this as a possibility.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my next guest is back on the show tonight. we love them. they're debuting their new song, "sexy socialite." please welcome chromeo featuring death from above 1979. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ you're a sexy socialite all you do is socialize and you're always so polite and your outfits tantalize ♪ ♪ when you wanna spend the night all you do is roll your eyes ♪ ♪ they crush on you ooh they crush on you ♪ ♪ you're a sexy socialite all you do is socialize and you're always so polite and your outfits tantalize ♪ ♪ when you wanna spend the night all you do is roll your eyes ♪ ♪ they crush on you ooh they crush on you ♪

♪ you're out alone so young and full of promise so young and full of promise ♪ ♪ i could be your boyfriend and your counselor 'cause the night might damage ya ♪ ♪ you're out alone so young and full of promise so young and full of promise ♪ ♪ i could be your boyfriend and your counselor 'cause the night might damage ya ♪ ♪ you're a sexy socialite i wish you were a socialist instead of worrying about your name on the list ♪ ♪ you insist that you should get in there for free ♪ ♪ you're too cool to pay a fee and the owner is like your family ♪ ♪ somebody help me you're a sexy socialite all you do is socialize ♪ ♪ as you make your way to the back of the vip ♪ ♪ watch out for girls that push guys that grab the tush ♪ ♪ at any moment they'll make you flip but you're a sexy socialite

and i guess it pays ♪ ♪ 'cause you've been out and about for the last four days ♪ ♪ and now everybody knows ya they all want to approach ya and i can't even catch your gaze ♪ ♪ what a shame you're out alone so young and full of promise ♪ ♪ so young and full of promise i could be your boyfriend and your counselor ♪ ♪ 'cause the night might damage ya you're out alone ♪ ♪ so young and full of promise so young and full of promise ♪ ♪ i could be your boyfriend and your counselor 'cause the night might damage ya ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ women are eyeing me their men are buying me drinks at the bar ♪ ♪ you can't get far in this society so why you coming for me homie ♪ ♪ with so much acrimony your testimony's phony and the truth is you don't know me ♪ ♪ you're a sexy socialite boy, no, i'm not no, i'm not ♪ ♪ you're a sexy socialite no, i'm not no, i'm not ♪ ♪ yeah you're a sexy socialite hell no, i'm not, no i'm not ♪ ♪ yeah, you're a sexy socialite boy, no, i'm not no, i'm not ♪ ♪ sexy socialite always so polite wanna spend the night ♪ ♪ ooh they crush on you oohh they crush on you, girl ♪ ♪ sexy socialite always so polite wanna spend the night ♪

♪ ooh, they crush on you oohh they crush on you girl ♪ ♪ sexy socialite always so polite wanna spend the night ♪ ♪ ooh, they crush on you oohh they crush on you girl ♪ ♪ sexy socialite socialite, socialite always so polite so polite, so polite ♪ ♪ you wanna spend the night you wanna spend the night ooh, they crush on you ♪ ♪ ooh, they crush on you girl ♪ ♪ ♪ always so polite always so polite wanna spend the night ♪ ♪ wanna spend the night ooh sexy socialite girl ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, man! yeah! thank you so much. good to see you. all good? chromeo! [ cheers and applause ] featuring death from above 1979.

"sexy socialite" is available on itunes right now. we'll be right back everybody. download it! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to kate bosworth, tim conway, chromeo! [ cheers and applause ] death from above 1979 and the greatest band in late night, the roots, right there, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for carson daly. thank you for watching. have a good night. hope to see you tomorrow. buh-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪