♪ sometimes you feel you're up against the world ♪ ♪ what doesn't kill ya what doesn't break ♪ ♪ this life it seems to bring you to your knees ♪ ♪ you try you bleed then finally you breathe ♪ ♪ ♪ what doesn't kill ya what doesn't hurt sometimes you feel you're up against the world ♪ ♪ what doesn't kill ya what doesn't break ♪ ♪ this life it seems to bring you to your knees ♪ ♪ you try you bleed then finally you breathe ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: jake bugg! welcome back, man. good to see you again. >> you too. >> jay: thanks, thank's for coming. hey, i want to thank my guests, meredith vieira, j.b. smoove, jake bugg.

tomorrow night, olivia wilde will be here. but, "jimmy fallon" happening right now. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody.

welcome. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. what a great crowd! that's a great new york city crowd right there. welcome, everybody. were you trying to do bill cosby? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: that's your bill cosby? that is one of the worst impressions i've ever seen, bill cosby. like you always do every time he's here. that's your thing, you can't help when bill cosby is in the room you can't but help but talk like bill cosby. [ laughter ] [ inpersonating cosby ] and you just start acting like him and talking like him. [ laughter ] and you can't help but do that thing that he does. ♪ [ applause ] >> steve: come on. >> he's the greatest. >> jimmy: i just want to bring him out now. i love him so much. he's the greatest. i know, i was running by 'cause i was coming up to do the monologue. just running by and i ran by his dressing room. and i said, "i love you, bill cosby." and he goes, "who cares?" [ laughter ]

unbelievable. he's just the greatest. let get to some news here, you guys. this guy. i love this guy. more trouble for toronto mayor rob ford. [ cheers and applause ] after he admitted to smoking crack, ford is now threatening to sue his former staffers for saying that he once hired a prostitute. ford was like, that is a lie, i did it way more than once. [ laughter ] i have a reputation to uphold. [ cheers and applause ] actually he did say that he never hired a prostitute and then he added, 'cause i tend to black out when i'm really high. so who knows? i don't really understand. [ laughter ] maybe i did. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: and this doesn't surprise me in the wake of all these problems. ford announced that he is getting professional help. [ light laughter ] of course, the professional's name was cinnamon. [ laughter ]

who are you hiring for the prefessional? she's a professional. trust me. >> jimmy: i heard that the police were called out to justin bieber's house on friday. yeah. he was throwing party with snoop lion. apparently, it got too loud or something like that. of course, snoop ran out the back, not to avoid the cops, he just didn't want to be seen partying with justin bieber. [ laughter ] i was never here. [ cheers and applause ] well, of course, that party was probably nothing compared to what miley cyrus has planned. people are already talking about -- she's got a huge party in the works for her 21st birthday this weekend. you can tell she's been pretty excited. she's been wearing her birthday suit for the last 11 months. [ laughter and applause ] really excited about her birthday. of course, she's having a big party. and we actually found out some of the things she has planned for it. first, they're going to play pin the tongue on the miley. [ laughter ] then they're gonna play two rounds of hide and go smoke. [ laughter ] everyone is invited to come as

their favorite naked person. [ laughter ] they'll be serving still, sparkling or bong water. [ laughter and applause ] that's very, very nice. should be fun party. always is. [ applause ] get this, the u.s. postal service just announced that it only lost $5 billion this year. as opposed to $16 billion in 2012. only lost $5 billion. even blockbuster is like, you guys suck at running a business. [ laughter ] [ applause ] good news everybody, only lost $5 billion this year. let let's celebrate. oh, man, i love this story. we were laughing about this backstage. this is a true story. you guys hear about this guy in michigan, he bought a house next to his ex-wife. [ light lauger ] did you hear that? this guy's my favorite. he bought a house next to his ex-wife. then he installed a giant outdoor sculpture of hand giving the middle finger. [ laughter and applause ]

that is unbelievable. so their kids said, so separate thanksgiving? [ laughter ] i don't know if you guys went to the movies this week. i hope you saw "the best man holiday." it had a great big weekend. $30 million at the box office, wow. yeah, it's pretty good for a movie most people thought was just an ad for old navy. see the poster. [ laughter ] [ applause ] people were freaking out over this yesterday. during the game between the jacksonville jaguars and the arizona cardinals, jaguars defensive end jason babin was making a tackle. and he actually ripped out a good chunk of another player's hair. check it out. ♪ >> look at this, jason babin. they're playing tough. he comes out with a handful of andre ellington's hair.

[ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: i think i speak for everyone when i say i hope that hair came from his head. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i don't know if that was a football game or a "real housewives" reunion. [ laughter ] that's my weave. that's my weave! i heard that hallmark will start selling a new line of christmas cards that feature the cast of "duck dynasty." which explains that one card that says, to my cousin, will you marry me? [ laughter ] [ applause ] very thoughtful. and finally, this made me laugh. before the start of a the high school football game in texas this weekend, one cameraman got a little too close to the action. take a look at this. [ cheers ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: isn't that how simba's

dad died in "the lion king?" [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots right there. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome. welcome. thank you for being here. thank you for watching. it is the start of a new week. we've got some big shows for you coming up. we have forest whitaker, will forte, liam hemsworth and sarah silverman. they will be here. plus we have music from cut copy, charlie wilson and sleigh bells. and we'll be demoing the new xbox one. [ audience oohs ] cannot wait for that. but first, we have a great show tonight. he's one of the greatest comedians of all time. [ impersonating cosby ] we're so lucky to have him back here today on the show, bill cosby is here! [ cheers and applause ]

>> steve: come on. [ applause ] come on. >> jimmy: hey, let's have you do a robert de niro. >> only thing better than my robert de niro is the cosby. >> jimmy: do your de niro impression. >> now, i can't do it. [ laughter ] >> that's -- bill cosby. [ laughter ] same face. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: it's the same face. we got great music tonight. oh my god, besides the best band in the land, the roots, we have bonnie raitt is here. [ cheers and applause ] she's a rockstar dude. she looks so cool. one of the best slide guitarists ever. hey guys, do you ever go on twitter and you see tweets from a celebrity that looks like it makes no sense, like a random statement out of left field. but then you realize -- you click expand. and you realize they're just responding to another person's question. i'll show you what i mean in this next segment. it's called "in reply to." here we go.

♪ in reply to in reply to oh yeah ♪ >> jimmy: so the way this works is, i will show you a celebrity tweet and then we'll see the questions they were replying to. this first example is a tweet from president obama. he responded to at lourobert1, he said, "my pet dog, bo." not really sure what he's talking about here. let see what he was asked. "who designed the obamacare website?" [ laughter and applause ] now it makes sense. >> steve: wasn't a human. here's one from toronto mayor rob ford, he responded, "words can not express how disappointed i am in myself." let's see what he was asked. "how do you feel about never having tried bath salts." [ laughter ] it's a drug. it's a dangerous drug. >> steve: yes. [ applause ] only a finite amount of time in the world. you know? >> jimmy: here's a reply from rapper chris brown. he replied, "i dare you to say that to my face, you punk."

let's see the question "how are you?" [ laughter ] [ applause ] here's a response from "hunger games" star jennifer lawrence. she answered, "it's about a bleak dystopian society in which millions of people are entertained by children fighting over food." let's see the question? "what is 'here comes honey boo-boo?'" [ laughter ] [ applause ] great show. >> steve: yeah, love that show. >> jimmy: very good. >> steve: that's a good description. >> jimmy: moving on. here is a response from al roker. we love him. he said, "high pressure moving through the southern region." [ laughter ] why do have you to be ahead of me? can't even play -- play with me? let's see what he was asked, "describe your prostate exam." [ applause ] here's another one from

rob ford, he replied, "crack and lots of it." let's see the question, "describe al roker's prostate exam." topical theme. let's keep going. here's a look from gary busey. he replied, "the lonely wonderer, howls shish kebab jellyfish." see the question, "do you have any plans for the holidays?" [ laughter ] here's one from hugh hefner. he responded, "it flops around way down to my knees." [ laughter ] here's the question, "what happens when you wear a double xl t-shirt? see that's -- >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's what it -- get your mind out of the gutter, yeah. >> steve: filthy people. >> jimmy: filth, yeah. so here's the last one. here's from our good friend governor chris christie. he responded, "2016, baby!"

let's see the question, "how much do you weigh?" [ laughter and applause ] that's all we have time for. we'll be right back with freestyling with the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we have four hours to find your dad a gift, and he's got to have the best, so we need to stay focused. james, you're my rock, can you keep it together? ♪ sally, look at me. i need you to step it up, okay? we don't want the petting zoo all over again. i can't make any promises. ♪ wow. i never doubted you guys for a second. [ male announcer ] at&t makes you the hero this holiday season with iphone5s for zero down with at&t next. ♪

with iphone5s for zero down with at&t next. so i tri with iphone5s for zero down with at&t next. ed depend so i it really made the difference between a morning around the house and getting a little exercise. hi-ya! and i tried a baking class. one weekend can make all the difference. unlike the bargain brand, depend gives you the confidence of new fit-flex® protection. it's a smooth and comfortable fit with more lycra strands.

it's our best protection. take your weekend on with a free sample at depend.com for his son. a tablet? a laptop? which 'twas the right one? his friends were no help so he sought a wise one in blue. the powerful hp split x2. it's a laptop and tablet. isn't that nice? papa comes home with the gift that gives twice. two gifts in one, 'twas a holiday triumph. indecision no more. au revoir and goodbye-umph. someone needs a candy cane and it ain't you. save on great gifts, like the hp split x2 at your ultimate holiday showroom. best buy.

♪ >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody.

thank you for being here. thank you for watching. i always say our show is lucky to have the greatest band in late night. the roots, right there, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] but it isn't always fun and games. from time to time we put the roots to the test. we take random people from our audience and have the roots make up songs about them on the spot. it's time for "freestylin' with the roots." here we go! ♪ time to freestyle with the roots ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey, yeah >> jimmy: all right. here we go, everybody. don't get nervous. this all will be fine. [ laughter ] it's gonna be fine. roots, you ready to do this? >> mm-hmm. >> mm. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my god, this is such a good bill cosby. [ laughter ] let's do it. stand up, my friend. yeah, he looks psyched. he looks really psyched. [ laughter ] what is his name?

>> denzel. >> jimmy: denzel. denzel, where are you from? >> connecticut, waterbury. >> jimmy: you're from woodbury, connecticut. >> waterbury. >> jimmy: oh, waterbury. you ever heard of woodbury? >> yeah, i heard of it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i made it up. waterbury. thanksgiving is coming up next week. do you have any thanksgiving plans? >> just chill with my girlfriend. >> jimmy: just going to chill with your girlfriend. [ audience aws ] chill with girlfriend. [ laughter ] are you cool with that? what is your favorite thanksgiving food? don't say waterberry. [ laughter ] >> baked macaroni and cheese. >> jimmy: macaroni and cheese? >> yeah. >> jimmy: for thanksgiving? >> yeah. >> jimmy: baked mac-n-cheese, man. baked mac-n-cheese. all right, so you're doing that for thanksgiving, baked mac-n-cheese. all right, that's awesome. roots, this guys knows what's up? [ laughter ] his name is denzel. which already makes him cool.

he is from waterbury. it's really close to woodbury. [ laughter ] and on thanksgiving, he is going to just chill with his girl. that's what he wants to do. and he wants to eat baked mac-n-cheese. that's his favorite, favorite thing to do. so since, for our first song, a lot of people will be traveling next week for thanksgiving. can you guys do it in kind of a willie nelson? like "on the road again"? come on. ♪ roots can do anything. [ rhythmic clapping ] ♪ denzel came to the show he's from late night quality from woodbury ♪ ♪ for a help in -- hospitality and on thanksgiving he'll just chill ♪ ♪ with that girlfriend he got and if she makes baked mac-n-cheese denzel says thanks a lot ♪ ♪ hey thanks a lot hey thanks a lot hey thanks a lot hey thanks a lot ♪ ♪ that mac-n-these they made it, yeah it hit the spot it hit the spot ♪ ♪ he, thanks a lot hey thanks a lot hey thanks a lot hey thanks a lot ♪

♪ i'm sorry denzel homey but that's all i got that's all he got zippety doo ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was great. who else we got? who else we got? >> jimmy: excuse me. pardon me, excuse me. don't get up. yeah, no problem. [ laughter ] i'll go around you. she's fine. almost ended up in your crotch there. but that's good. hello. excuse me, everybody. oh, sorry. excuse me. hi. very tight quarters. hi, how you doing? nice to see you. hey, buddy. i made it. i made it over to this side. [ cheers and applause ] you want to do it? >> yes. >> jimmy: stand up, please. how are you? nice to meet you. what is your -- what is you -- what? >> hand hug? >> jimmy: hand hug? absolutely. [ laughter ] there you go. there you go. what is your name? >> ashley. >> jimmy: ashley. all right, ashley, this thanksgiving, what are you thankful for?

>> oh, i am thankful for not getting any speeding tickets. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: but you do speed? >> ah, no. >> jimmy: you just didn't get any tickets. all right, not getting speeding tickets. but she does speed. speeding tickets. what are you not thankful for? >> the struggles i had to go through. >> jimmy: the struggles in life. [ light laughter ] give me a struggle. >> my phone not charging on the way here. >> jimmy: yeah, that is awful. we got to end that! her phone cannot charge. >> i need an upgrade to verizon. >> jimmy: an upgrade with verizon. [ laughter ] you can't speak them and ask them for a free phone. we'll tweet out her address later on, verizon. you can send her something. all right, roots, we have our pal ashley here. and she is thankful for not getting any speeding tickets this year. and she is just tired. she is not thankful -- she is -- all the struggles in her life. and i'm talking major stuff, man. [ laughter ]

like stuff to make you cry. her phone doesn't charge up. [ laughter ] it has trouble charging sometimes. and for this last one, since the number one album in the country is "marshall mathers," eminem, a new record, can you do it in an eminem style hip-hop song? ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. that's fine. ♪ ♪ uh, here goes ashley and uh she's on "fallon" and uh it's thanksgiving and yo we on that again ♪ ♪ she's thankful she can eat and get fat again what you got some gravy in the cabinet ♪ ♪ you better use the stuff on the turkey pour it on the roasty beef ♪ ♪ you better really let them flow if you never got a ticket for speeding ♪ ♪ it's probably because you was really going slow and you better use it talking bout ♪ ♪ girl i hook you up with verizon girl, the answer will be no the legendary roots ♪ ♪ is here with an r-double-o you only get on "late night" once in a lifetime yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: that was great. thanks to these guys. [ cheers ] thanks to the roots. we'll be right back with bill cosby, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ have a cuervo.

have a souvenir. just don't have any regrets. cuervo. have a story.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a comedy legend whose first televised concert in 30 years called "far from finished" will air this saturday at 8:00pm on comedy central.

first stand-up in 30 years. it's going to be amazing. i can't wait for that. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the one and only bill cosby. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> good to see you. >> i know. welcome to the show. >> some of the things we are doing on the show. >> it's wonderful. >> we love this guy. >> jimmy: that's not me. bill i'm over here. that's not me. >> who's yelling. from that movie. >> jimmy: that's not me.

>> jimmy. jimmy. >> over there. >> jimmy: not me. >> do that again. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: not me. >> jimmy: that is not me. >> bill, save your -- bill, hey, hey, hey, buddy. >> jimmy? >> jimmy: yes. it's me. >> jimmy. >> jimmy: yes. [ laughter ] >> you scum -- >> jimmy: no. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy, do you have hair on your legs? i'm ripping it off -- >> jimmy: don't get -- don't get violent. what happened here? >> okay. >> oh, oh, oh. >> are you hurt in. >> did you say you have a perm? [ laughter ] >> it's a beautiful sweater. >> i'm leaving. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh.

okay. i got to go over here. ♪ which way? i heard you guys played something before i walked out. and i want you to know, thanks to you, i have a piece, you know, before i walked out, not the "sweet georgia brown" hello? [ laughter ] >> i was getting scared. >> jimmy: no, don't get scared. >> you know the thing you played before i walked out, before you played "sweet georgia brown?" >> yes. >> i want you to play it again, because i have my life from age 66 on. [ laughter ] is that that guy? >> jimmy: no, no, no, not him. he does not host the show. i host the show. >> yes, you do. >> jimmy: thank you. >> you let me walk all the way over to that guy.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: i thought that you were going to dance and then you got confused. you saw another -- >> i did what? >> jimmy: never! never! were you sick? [ laughter ] >> i have been good to you guys. now, i'm going to do this. i'm going to do this. you stay -- you stay where you are. >> jimmy: okay. >> because, ladies and gentlemen, for a long time, i have thought about my passing. no, no, no, you bunch of phonies. [ laughter ] all right. thought i didn't recognize you. i have been thinking about my passing and with that i went through people that i want to sing over my coffin.

aretha franklin. >> jimmy: yes. >> wouldn't that be fantastic? >> jimmy: it's beautiful. >> but these guys did a song. this is it. with the singing as people come by. wait, let me get ready. wait a minute. [ laughter and applause ] no rolls -- you don't do drum rolls. [ laughter ] dead people don't get drum rolls. [ laughter ] that's the end of any more surprises. okay, especially to many hopeful wives. now, okay. hit it, boys. ♪

♪ >> pitiful. [ laughter ] it sounded better when i was back there. [ laughter ] now, let me guess -- i also want to say something about when you get this age. don't get down. [ laughter ] i'm sorry, don't get down on a wooden -- showoff. [ laughter ] you know, i could never do that. >> jimmy: you couldn't? >> no. as a matter of fact, that's why i was barred -- from, now watch. now, this is when i was young. >> jimmy: yeah.

>> this is as far as i could go. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> this is not much fun at all. who made that up? >> jimmy: you don't look comfortable. >> who was it? >> jimmy: you weren't comfortable. but -- that looks -- is that comfortable? i don't know if i can do that. >> all right. >> jimmy: now, please, a chalk drawing, a murder. there has been a murder. [ cheers ] [ applause ] there has been -- >> teacher's pet. teacher's pet. try to keep the job with your pants all wet. [ laughter ] that was a fine, wonderful joke you did. >> jimmy: thank you. >> and your audience laughed truthfully. >> jimmy: thank you. >> generally, from what i've heard, you encourage them. >> jimmy: yes. >> and -- let's go to what i was trying to get to.

i'm sorry that my last thing didn't work, but it sounded funny back there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> then what they did was, the drummer hit it loud, with the extra -- you know, you get it. you know, and it just didn't work, because when they were playing it, it was softer than that and then he sounded more pitiful when you going to -- okay, i'll show you what it mean. if i can -- [ drum roll ] [ laughter ] whatever. >> jimmy: no drum roll. no, man. >> jimmy: doesn't want a drum roll. >> if i told you -- where are you from? >> philly. what part of -- what kind of high pitched voice is that? [ laughter ] he's not from north philly -- okay, okay.

now, the one thing you don't do when you get the age is put yourself down like this -- >> jimmy: can i help you? >> no. [ laughter ] because then i would look pitiful. old people do not want you touching them after their teeth have fallen out and their hearing aid batteries are sprawled all over. and then there's puddles from nobody knows where. [ laughter ] so, now there's something wrong with this band, when i ask for something. but, when you get this age, don't ever go down -- >> jimmy: yes. >> on a wooden -- >> jimmy: a what? on the ground. >> no, this is a floor. >> jimmy: sorry. >> you're from the mid-west somewhere, aren't you? >> jimmy: no, i'm from new york. >> that's the mid-west.

>> jimmy: oh, yes. >> so you can't -- when you get my age you can't -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's like, it's like -- you look like a little baby. you look like a little infant. in a cute way. [ laughter ] >> this is the worst complement you ever made. [ laughter ] you know, my wife is looking at this right now and reached over for the puke bucket. [ laughter ] pam, cute -- you know what that means? i'm married 49 years. >> jimmy: that's almost 50 years. [ cheers and applause ] >> see, you people, you people clap for anything. i want you to repeat what you said. >> jimmy: when? [ laughter ] >> just, drum roll, please. >> jimmy: drum roll. [ drum roll ]

>> i said, and they ruined, they're covered up -- your bad -- i don't know what it is. you said -- >> jimmy: you have been married 49 years. >> and you said it's almost 50. wow! [ laughter ] jim, how fast. you must have been an accelerator -- see that was the position that brought that answer out. this position -- this is where you sat. >> jimmy: yes. >> and they put you on the carpeting around and where the teachers had different groups. and they labeled them, didn't they? what was your group? >> jimmy: special. [ laughter ] >> special. >> and you thought you were being loved. [ laughter ] >> i was an ob. >> jimmy: what was that? >> out of brains.

[ laughter ] but, here we are together -- >> jimmy: two smart men. >> well, yeah, we look that way. [ laughter ] but our wives. >> jimmy: no. >> when people ask mrs. cosby, we're out at dinner, you know? and they come by, can i have an autograph? i sign an autograph. then they look at her and they say, is he this funny at home? and you know what my wife said? [ laughter ] so when you said i was cute, at this age, she just threw up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: more with bill cosby when we get back everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hoo-hoo...hoo-hoo. hoo-hoo hoo. sir... i'll get it together i promise...

heeheehee. jimmy: ronny, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? ronny:i'd say happier than the pillsbury doughboy on his way to a baking convention. get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. smoke? nah, i'm good. [ male announcer ] celebrate every win with nicoderm cq, the unique patch with time release smartcontrol technology that helps prevent the urge to smoke all day long. help prevent your cravings with nicoderm cq. ♪

♪ ♪ verizon now has the gifts everyone wants. that's powerful. verizon. [ bell rings ] [ man ] take five! hey, joyce! [ grunts ] you really seem to be dragging your a-- [ donkey brays ] mid morning slump. [ donkey snorts ] that's why i started drinking this new lipton natural energy tea. come on! it's naturally has more caffeine and theanine than regular lipton. here. you'll thank me. mmmm... tastes amazing, right? i feel better already. [ donkey brays ] [ man ] two minutes! tea time. [ female announcer ] for a little oomph, try new lipton natural energy tea. [ donkey brays ]

for up to 60% off every hgift you need ♪ bust it... ♪ break it down for me fellas... ♪ five bucks for colorful gifts, like scarves, tees, hats, and gloves ten bucks for must-have gifts, like ballet flats, hoodies, and thermals fifteen bucks for warm gifts, like vests, flannels, and sweaters bust a move for last-minute gifts for the whole family from just five, ten, or fifteen bucks ♪ just bust a move... plus - get up to 60% off throughout the store right now, at old navy.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> wait a minute. wait a minute. wait, you were all right, man. no, what you were doing, you were kicking. not right now.

>> jimmy: no, no. all right. >> but when they were playing, without the drummer, one, two, three, four. ♪ hit it! ♪ [ cheers ] all right. >> jimmy: not bad. >> you are a regular fred astaire at the palms. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't want to embarrass you. >> what are you doing man? >> jimmy: i have a baby, i have a little baby now. i just -- but not right now. >> you know, these people, can we do it without an audience? no -- aww. aww. >> jimmy: that's nice. >> no, you said you had a baby then the aww. >> yeah, that's what you do, you make that sound. >> no, you do that, not after 48 years. my children -- our children owe us money. [ laughter ]

see i'm trying to help you. in the beginning, aww, see, that's the lure. god did that on purpose. [ light laughter ] so god could laugh at you. >> jimmy: that's exactly what happened. >> yes. so you have a what? >> jimmy: so i have a baby girl. >> good. >> jimmy: thank -- yeah. >> good. she somebody -- [ audience aws ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no hair pulling. no hair pulling. i didn't want to embarrass you but i got your book "fatherhood." >> why would that embarrass me? >> jimmy: but i didn't -- because i don't know. i just didn't know -- >> i love money. [ laughter ] and you bought my book? >> jimmy: i bought it, yes. >> where is it? >> jimmy: it's right here. >> this is not my book. what is that? >> jimmy: this is your book? >> i don't think so. >> jimmy: that's you. >> i know that's me. i never put out a book like that in my life. it's all ragged.

[ light laughter ] where's the hard cover? >> jimmy: i didn't see any there. [ laughter ] >> you didn't see any where? where? >> jimmy: where, i -- >> don't put it down. let the people see it. a man of your financial stature -- [ laughter ] okay. where did you get this book? >> jimmy: i just got it. >> it's called" fatherhood." >> jimmy: that's correct. >> and it is in hard cover. this is -- i don't know, where did you get it? >> jimmy: i got it from someone. >> name the person and how you got it. were they in this building? >> jimmy: yes. >> where was the person? what's the person's name? >> jimmy: reggie. >> reggie. reggie had this book? >> jimmy: yes. >> and you bought it, stole it or what from reggie?

>> jimmy: reggie is -- i bought it. >> from reggie. >> jimmy: i paid for it. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you paid? you paid? how much? >> jimmy: .65 cents. [ laughter ] [ sad tuba ] bill, don't get angry. bill, don't get angry, please, don't get angry. i paid 65. >> do you know what he played? >> jimmy: yeah. >> what did he play? >> jimmy: wah-wah. >> you know what that used to stand for in the old days? >> jimmy: no. >> b-o. [ laughter ] you, you know what b-o is? >> jimmy: body odor. >> yeah, that's what he gave me. >> jimmy: damon -- that wasn't him? no, no. wasn't him, who was it? >> jimmy: it wasn't the tuba player.

>> it was a musical instrument. >> jimmy: no. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> so now, reggie, sold this to you? >> jimmy: that's right. >> for .68 cents? >> jimmy: .65. >> 65? >> that's all? >> jimmy: yes, well, it's from the library. so i had to pay his late fee. [ laughter ] >> told you. >> jimmy: yeah, i know thank you. >> okay, am i finished? >> jimmy: all right, here we go. bill cosby, "far from finished" airs saturday at 8:00pm on comedy central, bonnie raitt is next! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you got the bargain kind? you need a bunch of those to clean this mess. then i'll use a bunch of them. then how is that a bargain? [ sighs ] no, that's too many --

it's not gonna fit! whoa! cascade kitchen and math counselor. here's a solution. one pac of cascade complete cleans tough food better than six pacs of the bargain brand combined. so you can tackle tough messes the first time. that is more like it. how are you with taxes? [ laughs ] [ counselor ] and for even more cleaning power, try cascade platinum. [do more than ever before with all-new intuitit.ickbooks. make any place your place of business with it. get paid faster with it. run payroll with it. sync this stuff with that stuff with it. make more time for what you love with it. turn on only what you need with it. sample from our smorgasbord of apps with it. take in the big picture with it. see your finances in a whole new way with it.

this is your business on the all-new quickbooks. run with it. ♪ i've got the power cuz i live like i want, huh! ♪ ♪ ain't listening to you, i only listen to my heart, huh! ♪ ♪ ♪ try try try try try to lift up the weight ♪ ♪the world is wild at heart ♪ give it to me now perfectly bite-sized drops of rich and creamy chocolate happiness. when the chocolate is hershey's, life is delicious.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a music legend who is in the midst of a tour that wraps up on december 7th in new orleans. gosh, we love her so much. if you want to get someone a nice gift, this is prefect right here. this is a new compilation album. it's called "now and then." it has her grammy winning album "slipstream." plus, a disc of a songs from throughout her career. performing the classic "love sneaking up on you," with a little help from the roots, please welcome back to our show,

bonnie raitt! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ rainy night i'm all alone sittin here waitin for your voice on the phone ♪ ♪ got a fever that turns to cold cold sweat thinkin about the things we haven't done yet ♪ ♪ tell me now i've got to know do you feel the same ♪ ♪ do you light up at the mention of my name don't worry baby it ain't nothin new ♪ ♪ that's just love sneakin up on you your whole world is shakin and you feel like i do ♪

♪ that's just love sneakin' up on you ♪ ♪ ♪ nowhere on earth for your heart to hide once love comes sneakin upon your blindside ♪ ♪ might as well baby stop this rain or stand in the track of a runaway train ♪ ♪ i can't fight it cause the thing is meant to be ♪ ♪ come on let's finish what you started with me ♪ ♪ don't you worry baby it ain't nothin new that's just love sneakin up on you ♪ ♪ whole world is shakin baby and you feel like i do ♪

♪ little bit of love sneakin' up on you ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ don't worry baby it ain't nothin new that's just love sneakin up on you ♪ ♪ if your whole world's shakin and you feel like i do ♪ ♪ that's just love sneakin up on you don't worry baby it's not nothin new ♪ ♪ that's just love sneakin up on you if your whole world's shakin baby ♪ ♪ and you feel like i do that's just love

sneakin up on you don't worry baby ♪ ♪ it ain't nothin new that's just love sneakin up on you ♪ ♪ if your whole world's shakin baby and you feel like i do ♪ ♪ that's just love sneakin up on you ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! that's the way to do it! you are a rock star! >> thank you. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. bonnie raitt! "now and then" is in stores right now!

be right back, everybody. wow! awesome! [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ]

he loves me. he loves me not. he loves me. he loves me not. ♪ he loves me! that's right. [ mom ] warm and flaky in 15, everyone loves pillsbury grands! [ girl ] make dinner pop!

guys... [ female announcer ] pillsbury cinnamon rolls, with cinnabon cinnamon, are an irresistible sunday morning idea. nothing calls them to the table faster. make breakfast pop! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to bill cosby, bonnie raitt, once again. [ cheers and applause ] oh my goodness. and the greatest band on "late night," the roots, right there. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "carson daly." thank you for watching. have a good night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪