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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  June 3, 2014 12:36am-1:38am PDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: my thanks to ricky gervais, ansel elgort, miranda lambert once again. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- nick offerman and megan mullally, gilbert gottfried, music from kip moore,
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featuring the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and now, here he is, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? are we well? [ cheers ] everyone doing well? this is interesting. former microsoft ceo steve ballmer has offered $2 billion to purchase the l.a. clippers from donald sterling. and then, today, every other owner in the nba started making racist remarks. [ laughter ] because why not? at that point, why not? that's right.
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the clippers are going to be bought by the former ceo of microsoft. apparently he's looking for something to occupy himself while windows is installing critical updates. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] critical. i cannot stress, these are critical. justin bieber -- our friend, justin bieber is in trouble. he's in trouble again. unseen footage from bieber's documentary "never say never" has surfaced where he tells racist jokes to a group of friends. i know, it's shocking. justin bieber has friends. [ laughter ] by the way -- [ applause ] -- not to toot my own horn, but i'm proud to say that all the footage from "never say never" is unseen by me. [ laughter and applause ] i personally have no seen footage of "never say never." i've never seen it. and i know you never say never, but i'm confident about that.
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[ laughter ] this is pretty crazy. for the first time in 52 years, last week's scripps national spelling bee ended in a tie. ended in a tie. also, for the first time, there were no happy parents. [ laughter ] i did not raise you to tie. this is cool. this morning president obama announced a new 600-page proposal to lower carbon emissions and help stop global warming. step one, stop printing 600-page proposals. [ cheers and applause ] step one. 600 pages. no one is reading a 600-page proposal. to me this was surprising. this sunday, donald sterling attended services at a traditionally black church in los angeles. and just today, the church was sold for $2 billion. [ light laughter ] he has the midas touch. everything gold.
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this is amazing. the video for "gangnam style" -- psy's "gangnam style," -- set a new youtube record this weekend after it broke 2 billion views. which raises an interesting question. who just watched "gangnam style"? [ laughter ] did america's last aunt finally get around to checking out "gangnam style"? little business news. apple made it into the top five of fortune 500 companies after it bought out headphone maker beats electronics. hopefully the merger will be more successful than the last apple and beats combination in that salad your mom made for easter. [ laughter and applause ] why? mom! just don't try to be fancy. don't try to be fancy, mom. any "game of thrones" fans here? [ cheers and applause ] well, "game of thrones" star
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lena headey reportedly posted spoilers about last night's episode on her instagram account two months ago. fans were outraged. just wait, just wait until they find out about the books. [ laughter ] i can accidentally see an instagram. i'm not going to accidentally read a book. great news here. after three years of development, nasa scientists have figured out a way for astronauts to get internet on the moon. now they just have to get somebody up there between 8:00 a.m. and noon on thursday to meet the installer. [ laughter and applause ] he has to be there the whole four hours. this week it was announced that golfer phil mickelson is under investigation by the fbi for insider trading of clorox stock. by the way, insider trading of clorox stock by a professional golfer is the whitest collar crime possible. [ laughter and applause ]
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it's the definition of white collar. [ applause ] this is kind of great. a 91-year-old woman broke the u.s. record for the fastest marathon run in the 90-94 age group finishing in seven hours and seven minutes. the previous record was dying in the first mile. [ laughter ] of course, she beat that handily, not even close. this morning, a semi-truck overturned on the staten island expressway and spilled a load of pineapples across the highway. the spilled food attracted hundreds of staten island residents until they realized it was fruit, and they left. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, this is just weird. a seattle man was arrested after police caught him walking down
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the street with a grocery cart filled -- filled with stolen meat. the man would have gotten away with it, if he hadn't been pushing a shopping cart full of meat. ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how we doing, 8g band? so good to see you. you know, we have such a great show lined up. but before we get to that, one thing we like to do when fred is away is have special guests sit in with the band. and i'm really excited because sitting in on didgeridoo is none other than bill nye the science guy. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thanks for having me, seth. >> seth: no problem, bill. we love having you. >> you know, just one real quick question.
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i had a question. i saw that table with all kinds of snacks and different food on it there backstage. what's the deal with all that? i mean, is it free? is all of it free? is it docked from our pay? i mean, do we get a discount? i mean, i just don't want to get slammed with a big bill after the show. like i'm asking, is there a limit? because i kind of went to town on those fruit snacks. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, that's our craft service table. it's all free. don't worry about it. if you want something, you can have it. you're our guest. >> oh, okay, great. hypothetically speaking -- i mean, say, i were to bring a huge rolling suitcase from home and really -- [ laughter ] -- load that bad boy up with lots of, you know, free ass food -- i'm talking everything, my man. i'm saying the blue cheese, the chicken things, the paper coffee cups -- just dumping the trays of food really fast into the suitcase -- do you think there would be trouble with that? [ laughter ] i mean, would people give me, like, weird stares or something?
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>> seth: yeah. if you bring a rolling suitcase from home and start throwing piles of bite-sized food into it -- then, yes, i think people will stare at you for a very long time. [ text tone ] >> whoa, whoa, whoa. i've gotten a text. oh, i'm so sorry, man. i've got to go. looks like raccoons have gotten loose in the lab. see ya. >> seth: give it up for bill nye, everybody! sorry he can't stick around. [ cheers and applause ] always nice to have him here, though. so i had a very fun night last night. derek jeter, yankee great derek jeter -- yeah, give it up for derek jeter. [ cheers and applause ] he has a foundation called the turn 2 foundation. and last night was their annual gala. and he asked me if i would come and do a q&a with him on stage, and i was happy to oblige. but it took me a long time to get to a point where i would do something like that. i grew up in new england. i'm a huge boston red sox fan, and -- [ cheers and applause ]
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thank you. and i hate the yankees. i hate them. and i hated derek jeter. i used to hate him. i don't hate him anymore because in 2001, my first year on "snl," derek jeter came and he hosted the show. and i wrote a sketch for us on "weekend update" -- a "weekend update" piece where it was a point-counterpoint between he and i called "derek jeter sucks -- no, i don't." and i wrote it never thinking he would do it. but he liked it and he agreed to do it. he thought boston sports fans were ridiculous. he thought this was a good way to prove it. and we did this piece, and over the course of the entire week, he was such a gentleman. he was such a nice person. he had so much respect for the process. he hosted a great show. and from then on, i've just had nothing but respect for him. and it is that funny thing. they tell you, people say, like don't meet your heroes, because if you do, they'll have the capacity to disappoint you. it's also true. don't meet your villains. because if you meet your villains and they turn out to be super nice guys, they rob you of
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the right to irrationally despise them. [ laughter and applause ] and so, i was delighted last night to show up at this event. and i was there, and everyone in the room was a yankee fans. there were actual new york yankees there. i was sitting at a table with joe torre and tino martinez, people who have caused nothing but sadness in my life -- but are such nice people. and over the course of the evening, when it was all over, i said to my wife, i feel like this was such a sign of my maturity that i could be a part of this evening and enjoy it so much. and give my time to such a great cause because ten years ago i wouldn't have been able to do this. but i feel like, in the course of the last ten years, like i've grown up. and i've realized that sports aren't everything. like i've changed as a person. and i am taking so much esteem from this moment of realizing -- sort of the growth i've had in my life these last ten years. to which my wife said, "yeah, but haven't the red sox won like three world series in the last
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ten years?" and i went, "oh, right, that's what happened." i didn't -- [ applause ] i didn't grow up. i'm just a huge baby who got what i wanted. like to say like i'm cool with sports now would be like winning the lottery and saying, "money isn't everything." but an incredible night. also, the best thing at this great foundation event was, when i said i was a red sox fan, everyone booed me. at a charity! we've got an excellent show for you tonight. megan mullally and nick offerman are here. [ cheers and applause ] and also joining us, the very funny gilbert gottfried, one of my all-time favorites. one of my all-time favorites. and we'll have music from kip moore. [ cheers and applause ] so we are coming back from our break last week. we had a week off, and we thought we'd start off things on a positive note at "late night." we believe that no matter how different two things are, they can still have common ground. and to prove it, it's time once again for a "venn diagram."
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so you remember venn diagrams. we take two seemingly separate groups and find out what they have in common. all right. so, this season "game of thrones" is winding down. so on one side we have "game of thrones" and on one side we have "a twitter post." and in the middle we have "things that have 140 characters." well, it was 140 characters at the start of the season. now, it's probably in the single digits. [ light laughter ] up next, on one side we have "james franco's instagram photos." on the other we have "james franco." and in the middle we have "things that need a filter." [ applause ] moving on. on one side we have "apple orchards in october." and on the other side we have "nudist colonies." not sure what could be in the middle. let's see. "low-hanging fruit."
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[ applause ] how do you like them apples? i do not like them apples at all. so, if you could turn around, grandpa. ugh, that's worse. up next, on one side we have "iphone battery." and on the other side we have "nfl players." and in the middle we have "things that frequently get charged." [ laughter and applause ] also, the charges never last in either case. [ light laughter ] up next. on one side we have "things that are true about chopsticks." and on the other side we have "things that are true about your extended family." and in the middle we have "they're hard to eat with." [ laughter and applause ] although, i would argue that it's easier to eat rice with chopsticks than talk to your grandpa about gay marriage. also, grandpa, turn around. [ laughter ] put some pants on and turn around.
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next, on one side we have "mirrors." on the other side we have "balls." and in the middle we have -- ♪ disco balls. [ applause ] moving on, on one side we have "excellent swimmer." and on the other side we have "loves eating japanese." i wonder what that could be. "godzilla." i'm sorry. [ laughter and applause ] did i say "godzilla"? i meant to say "godzilla!" [ laughter ] also, godzilla, turn around. put some pants on or turn around. next, on one side we have "the national spelling bee." and on the other side we have "the search for a father's day present." and in the middle we have "things that end in a tie." [ laughter and applause ] and when your dad says, "i love it," just know that he doesn't. moving on. on one side we have "usb ports."
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and on the other side we have "usb cables." and in the middle we have "no. no, no, no, no, no. oh, there we go." there we go. [ laughter ] i really enjoyed that animation. and finally on one side we have "nike." and on the other side we have "couples who have been engaged for six years." i'm not sure what's in the middle. let's see. "just do it." that is "venn diagrams." we'll be right back with nick offerman and megan mullally. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ nobody told us to expect it... intercourse that's painful due to menopausal changes. the problem isn't likely to go away... ...on its own. so it's time we do something about it. and there's help. premarin vaginal cream. a prescription that does what
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no over-the-counter product was designed to do. it provides estrogens to help rebuild vaginal tissue and make intercourse more comfortable. premarin vaginal cream treats vaginal changes due to menopause and moderate-to-severe painful intercourse caused by these changes. don't use premarin vaginal cream if you've had unusual bleeding, breast or uterine cancer, blood clots, liver problems, stroke or heart attack, are allergic to any of its ingredients or think you're pregnant. side effects may include headache, pelvic pain, breast pain, vaginal bleeding and vaginitis. estrogen may increase your chances of getting cancer of the uterus, strokes, blood clots or dementia, so use it for the shortest time based on goals and risks. estrogen should not be used to prevent heart disease, heart attack, stroke or dementia. ask your doctor about premarin vaginal cream. and go to this is worth talking about.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night", everybody. joining us tonight, after bill nye had to take off, marnie stern is back with the band tonight. welcome back, marnie. it's great to have you. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi, seth. >> seth: our first guests are two very talented actors of stage and screen. you know her from the iconic sitcom "will and grace," and him from nbc's "parks and recreation." he can be also seen in the new comedy "22 jump street" in theaters june 13th. please welcome megan mullally and nick offerman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ >> seth: have you done one of these together before? >> no. this is our cherry that you're taking. >> seth: wow. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's such a pleasure to take it. thank you. it is so great to see you both again. i know you both through a lot of different things. you hosted "snl," pretty close to one of my first seasons. >> yes. and i remember you wrote like every sketch on the show, and were in all of the sketches. that was before you did the news. >> seth: yeah. >> i think -- did we -- i thought we rolled around on a bed. >> seth: i feel like we may have as well, but i'm not sure if that was the show -- >> not on the show. >> seth: now's not the perfect time. [ laughter ] >> hmm. >> seth: and nick, we -- there's a show at ucb, the improv theater here. amy poehler, the improv theater with her friends.
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and a show called "asssscat," that has a monologist every week. and the first time we met, you were doing monologues at "asssscat." this was before "parks and rec." >> yep. >> seth: and i remember you told a story about how you were making your own canoe. and it turns out you're a lot like ron swanson. [ laughter ] >> well, i'm rather girly when stood up next to ron swanson. >> seth: true, but everyone is. >> it's true. we're both handy with a chisel, certainly. >> seth: but you've actually -- this is the real deal. you've made multiple canoes. yes? >> i've made two -- >> seth: two. that counts. >> and my shop -- [ laughter ] >> my shop made a third. one of my fine woodworkers named michelle made a canoe on commission. we make a lot of furniture. we're about to make a batch of ukuleles. i'm excited about it. [ laughter ] >> seth: did you receive an order for the ukuleles or did you decide to do them on spec? >> i'm heading towards the acoustic guitar, but i thought the ukulele would be a good starting point. >> and i play the ukulele so he
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can make one for me. >> seth: that seems -- that makes perfect sense now. you guys just did a broadway show together. you did "annapurna." >> yeah, off broadway. just closed yesterday, so fresh out. [ laughter ] >> good timing, yeah. >> seth: and we had -- you get a real bump when you're on this show, though, so it'll help. >> yeah. >> seth: you played a couple. you've played couples before. do you guys like working together? >> we really do, yeah. we've done -- we met doing a play in the year 2000. and, of course, at we've been on "parks and rec." i've guested as tammy 2, his evil, sex-crazed, ex-wife and he -- way back, he did one episode of "will and grace" where we made out. >> seth: i did not know that you guys -- this is like old school. look at that. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: that's like if ron -- >> we had a make out session and i slapped him around a lot. >> that's must-see tv right there, buddy. >> seth: real, real must-see tv.
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>> that's not how we met. that was after we were already together. >> seth: but you guys did meet doing a play in l.a.? >> we did, yeah. so we've done a few plays. this was, i think, our third play together. >> seth: what was your first play? >> it was an all-nude live sex. so i guess it wasn't really a play. [ laughter ] it was more -- >> seth: was there one seating or did people just come and go as they please? >> they'd just come and go. there was a lot of alcohol consumed. >> it was like a -- it was at a peep show. >> seth: it was a peep show, got it. >> it was called "ass play." [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. so it was a technically a play. >> i learned to pick up change with certain parts of my anatomy, so -- but it was on a stage! >> seth: yeah. you have no problem with nudity. let's just be honest. >> well, i've never been the kind of performer that people hire because i look good. and i learned at a young age that i would take my shirt off and everybody would laugh. and i was like, "oh. where i come from we call that talent." [ cheers and applause ]
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>> seth: and this -- we're going to take advantage of the time line, because your show -- this show just ended, but you're about to come back to do a show. >> i am, yes. i got -- i'm going -- this is a big scoop. i'm breaking news. >> seth: this is an announcement. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. i'm coming back to do a play on broadway, a comedy by terrence mcnally, called "it's only a play" with nathan lane and matthew broderick. >> seth: wow. [ applause ] that is not a bad group to be doing a play with. >> yeah! >> seth: you'll have to show those guys the ropes. well, that's very exciting. and mostly it's exciting because now there's time. they can adjust. they can go out and get tickets. >> exactly. >> seth: this is the way we have to do this. >> that way they can actually see it. >> seth: yeah. we're going to be right back with more of nick and megan, right after this quick break. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] we know heat control means everything in cooking.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we're back with nick offerman and megan mullally. you guys have a lot of -- you're on the road a lot with different shows.
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you have a show now, nick, called "american ham." >> yeah, that's going to be coming out on netflix this summer, and i'm starting a new show. we actually have -- we got sick of being apart while we're touring with our disparate acts, and so we've written a show together that we're -- our first show is in two weeks in washington, d.c. it's called "summer of 69." >> megan: no apostrophe. [ laughter ] >> we're playing the d.a.r. constitution hall. it's going to be quite explicit. [ light laughter ] and we're going to do as many positions as we can before they shut us down. >> seth: that's great. >> yeah. >> seth: so, this doesn't sound like it's aiming to be a long-running show either. [ laughter ] >> and i have a band called nancy and beth, and we tour around and do funny things. >> seth: and this is where you can see you playing the ukulele? >> yes, and my band partner plays ukulele also.
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>> seth: but you also rap, yes? >> we do a lot of tender love songs. one or two of them may be rap songs. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you rap them as raps, or do you sing a rap song? >> would you like to hear a sampling? >> seth: yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> this is -- i -- i mean, i know we're trying to do comedy, but this is one of the more sort of tender romantic ones. ♪ oh, well now she be swallowin' my [ bleep ] then she be throwin' me up love how she -puffin' ♪ ♪ i hate when she be blowin' me up all bust in her sweater only ballers can get her ♪ ♪ she a flipper i love how she do whatever i tell her ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i -- i feel like i just want to apologize to jeff, our beep guy, who's got to stay late tonight. >> sorry, jeff. [ laughter ] >> seth: i think it's his kid's birthday. it's all right. and your show on netflix -- so
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this is a stage show that's going to be on netflix? >> it is. it's my touring show as a humorist. it's my ten tips for a prosperous life with songs and minor nudity. [ laughter ] >> seth: what are couples -- if you can give them away for free, what are a couple of tips? >> say please and thank you. and -- avoid the mirror. [ laughter ] >> seth: avoid the mirror? >> yeah. >> seth: is that as far as just never looking in one? >> yeah. if i never look in the mirror -- and i think i'm a good-looking son of a bitch -- and if you look in the mirror, you're like, "oh, no, that's -- i don't look like keira knightley at all." [ laughter ] >> seth: so does that mean if you don't see a mirror, you're walking around thinking you look like keira knightley? [ laughter ] >> i assume they're whistling at me. [ laughter ] >> seth: yes. they are probably whistling at you. you're also in "22 jump street," coming out soon. >> indeed, yes. [ cheers and applause ]
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i want to get this right. sony asked me -- gave me some bullet points to mention -- >> seth: oh, great. >> action, summer, comedy -- penis, big. [ laughter ] penis action. >> seth: great. >> no, i don't -- one of those words doesn't belong here. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, we have a clip. maybe that will sort it all out. should we show the clip? >> it's super funny, yeah. >> seth: okay, gotcha. well, here we go. here's a clip from "22 jump street." the commissioner is convinced this debacle happened because you weren't doing the same undercover student thing you did the first time. >> she doesn't get that it's always worse the second time around. you settle into worn out roles -- one gets possessive, the other runs away. you begin a slow, painful unraveling as all of the good things that came before begin to be crushed by the trash compacter of sadness. >> that doesn't sound like us. i mean -- >> we don't want to do the same thing. we want to burst through our ceiling. >> you're going to find another
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ceiling and you got to bust through that one and you just got to keep hammering ceilings -- [ laughter ] >> i'm going to ask you to stop talking. >> i thought it was a pretty good idea. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: megan mullally and nick offerman everyone! you can see nick in "22 jump street" in theaters june 13th. megan next fall on broadway. can't wait. tickets to their show "summer of 69" are available online now. we'll be right back with gilbert gottfried. no apostrophe. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ pepsi wild cherry. explosively cherry.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everyone. our next guest is a very funny comedian who has one of the most recognizable voices in the world. he will be headlining at the victory club at the meadowlands in new jersey on june 7th, and mohegan sun in connecticut on june 14th. please welcome gilbert gottfried. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: they almost ran out of song. >> thank you. hey, you're not letterman! [ laughter ] what the hell is going on here? i've been in the business a long time! i'll be damned if i'm going to stay here and let some 12-year-old interview me! [ laughter ] >> seth: no, you have to come back. you have to come back. this is great. this is the first time we've ever met. >> yes. >> seth: i've met your wife. >> yes. >> seth: you've met my parents. >> yeah, i was meaning to talk to you about that, too. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, i met your wife in the strangest way. i was in a pharmacy and she came up and introduced herself. and i told her i was a huge fan of yours. and then, she just got you on the phone, and we talked on the phone for a minute in the pharmacy. it's the strangest -- >> yes. and then your parents came to see me. >> seth: yes. my parents, like myself, are huge fans of yours, and they came to see you in boston and went backstage. you were nice enough to say hello to them. >> yeah, they were very nice until they suggested a threesome. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i thought -- i thought --
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i mean, they seem like nice people. [ laughter ] but i just don't roll that way. >> seth: i'm sure. i apologize on their behalf. >> i mean, i -- i thought it was friendly certainly. so i'm in -- of course, you were just going to ask this. [ laughter ] see, you should learn to ask questions the way jay leno used to -- where it was like, "so, eh -- so i read somewhere -- i don't know where i heard this. i -- apparently -- apparently you did a movie somewhere? yeah, i don't know where we heard this." [ laughter ] and yeah, i'm in "a million ways to die in the west." >> seth: you're in "a million ways." i read that somewhere. >> yeah, for about three -- yes, see? >> seth: yeah. >> very good. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you play -- you play -- >> you're a quick learner. >> seth: oh, well, thank you.
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this is an education being out here with you. >> thank you. >> seth: you play abraham lincoln. >> yes, and it was the perfect part for me because so many people would like to shoot me. [ laughter ] and liam neeson is in it. and it's the first time he's done a movie in about ten years where his daughter's not kidnapped. [ laughter ] >> seth: right. that must be nice for him. >> yeah. like usually -- usually, with liam neeson it's "you've got me daughter again." [ laughter ] "give me back me daughter! i want to kill you, if i don't get me daughter! i hear a bird chirping. that's means you're in afghanistan." [ laughter ] "i hear an ant walking on the mahogany table. i know what building you're in. give me me daughter! and me lucky charms!" [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: it seems to me -- that part could have just as
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easily been yours. it seems like you were born for that kind of part. >> yeah, i think by now, when he gets a call, he should just say, "oh, keep her. i don't care. i'm tired. i don't care what you do with her." [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, because it is shame on you the third, fourth time you get kidnapped. >> yeah, yeah. just lock her in the house already. [ laughter ] >> seth: right. you are -- you have a podcast. >> i have a podcast. it's called "gilbert gottfried's amazing colossal podcast." and you can subscribe to it on itunes, and this isn't a plug. and -- [ laughter ] no, it just came out in conversation. so, on the podcast i interviewed sara karloff -- boris karloff's daughter -- bela lugosi jr. i interviewed the guy that played carlo in "the godfather." >> seth: right. >> the one who beats up talia shire.
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and he said he had sex with marilyn monroe, and he's killed at least four people. >> seth: wow. >> and i said, "well, why did you kill -- like, say just your first one. why did you kill the first guy?" and he goes, "well, what would you do if someone was threatening to hurt your kids?" and i said, "well, then, my kids would be in a lot of trouble." [ laughter ] "i would sit my kids down and go -- on put on disguises and move to another country. go to that country where liam neeson's daughter is currently being blocked off." [ laughter ] >> seth: you are a man of new technologies, not just a podcast. you have a website. >> yes. i have a website, which i had to buy from a guy in thailand. [ laughter ] so, it was a double insult. number one -- that i had to pay for my own name.
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and two -- how cheaply i got it. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: that is a double insult. >> and i have a twitter account @realgilbert. twitter's a very expensive hobby, i found out. >> seth: for you probably more than anyone. >> yes, yes. >> seth: you have been no stranger to controversy over your entire career. but twitter particularly the most. you -- you were the voice of the aflac duck. >> yes. >> seth: and then you had some tweets that many found inappropriate about the tsunami, and you lost the account. >> yes. >> seth: is that basically what happened? >> yes. no, you're supposed to say, i read somewhere that you -- and it's not the first time i've gotten it. now, you're going to be hosting the emmys. i got in trouble on the emmys. >> seth: yes. what year is this? when is this? >> this was like '90 or '91. >> seth: okay, so a long time ago. >> yes, thank you. little punk kid i'm talking to out here.
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[ laughter ] so, you can find some of my stuff on kinescope. [ laughter ] i was on the emmys shortly after pee-wee herman was arrested in a porn theater for playing with pee-wee. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and i went on and i said, "i really sleep better at nights knowing pee-wee herman's been arrested. if masturbation is a crime, i should be on death row." [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: and that was controversial then? >> yes, back then it was controversial. then a year later, jerry seinfeld does a whole show like -- [ imitating seinfeld ] "hey, i'm masturbating. look at me. i am masturbating. why do they call this masturbation?" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> seth: you've been doing standup since were you 15 years old. >> yes, and i haven't written a new bit since then. [ laughter ] so, that's what stands out. >> seth: who were your first impressions? >> oh, i would do -- well, this is funny because i -- well, i'm saying it's funny just in case the audience doesn't like it. [ laughter ] i interviewed dick cavett on the show. [ one person applauds ] thank you. [ laughter ] the one living person who remembers who dick cavett is. and i used to be fascinated watching groucho marx when he was like 90 or something going on there, really like slow. so, i would do groucho marx at 90, which was -- [ imitating marx ] "well, you know, see? my voice -- boston was a state. back then they used to have
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different states and they all had a name." [ laughter ] >> seth: as a 15-year-old? >> yes, yes. >> seth: that's great. it's so great having you here. i do feel like we live in an age now where there's a lot of -- the internet allows a lot of people to be outraged, which is good. there's a lot of things that people should be outraged about. it does seem like comedy now is that you've been someone who has witnessed that firsthand. what do you feel like -- how do you feel about this outrage about comedy? >> i think a lot of people like to slap themselves on -- pat themselves on the back going, "i'm outraged," nowadays. and i feel like on the internet it's like the new way of ringing someone's doorbell and running away. [ laughter ] and i feel like, with jokes, especially. like, i make a jokes and there'll be a new outrage about it.
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and i feel like jokes should come with an instruction that says "if you like the joke, laugh. if you don't like the joke, don't laugh." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that seems like a pretty good -- pretty good advice. >> yeah. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. >> seth: i'm such a fan. this is great. gilbert gottfried, everybody! check out "gilbert gottfried's amazing colossal podcast" on itunes and follow him on twitter @realgilbert. we'll be right back with kip moore. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ my name is jay wright, i'm the head basketball coach at villanova university. [ interviewer ] how important are decision making skills in your profession? they're absolutely vital. well then, as a decision maker, which one would you choose? this one that cleans or this one that cleans and protects against dryness? ♪ that one. that's it. that's it? m-hmm. you got one question for me? [ male announcer ] more care is better. it's an easy decision. dove men+care bodywash cleans and protects against dryness.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my next guest is a platinum-selling country music singer/songwriter. here to perform his brand new single, "dirt road," please welcome kip moore. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ when a preacher talks of heaven he paints it real nice ♪ ♪ he says you better get to livin' better get to livin' right ♪ ♪ if you're gonna
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get your mansion he's been saving for your soul ♪ ♪ if you're gonna do your dancing on city streets of gold ♪ ♪ but unless it's got a dirt road leading down to a fishing hole ♪ ♪ with a little piece of moonlight a couple cans of bud light ♪ ♪ where i can cuddle with my baby i can pull her real close ♪ ♪ no, i don't wanna go unless heaven's got a dirt road ♪ ♪ you better quit your drinking you better quit your smoking too ♪ ♪ be for trading in your backseat saturday nights for sunday morning pew ♪ ♪ well, i've never been nothing nothing more than
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what you see ♪ ♪ like my truck i'm made for running down to a midnight creek ♪ ♪ so unless it's got a dirt road leading down to a fishing hole ♪ ♪ with a little piece of moonlight a couple cans of bud light ♪ ♪ where i can cuddle with my baby i can pull her real close ♪ ♪ no, i don't wanna go unless heaven's got a dirt road ♪ ♪ ♪ all of this flying high gonna leave ya falling short leave you knock, knock knocking ♪ ♪ on heaven's basement door
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but one thing's for sure ♪ ♪ unless it's got a dirt road leading down to a fishing hole ♪ ♪ with a little piece of moonlight a couple cans of bud light ♪ ♪ where i can cuddle with my baby i can pull her real close ♪ ♪ no, i don't wanna go unless heaven's got a dirt road ♪ ♪ ♪ >> seth: kip moore! "dirt road" is available now! catch him headlining cmt on tour this fall. for dates go to we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to nick offerman, megan mullally, gilbert gottfried and kip moore. bill nye and, of course, the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ >> carson: welcome to another edition of "last call", i'm carson daly and this is amp radio, where i do a little morning radio show. tonight, we got some great music "the birds of satan", how about that for a name of a band, they're going toerform from studio 606, i'll explain that coming up. power creator courtney kemp agboh gets "the spotlight" treatment, but up first, it's all about wil wheaton. and even though wil's only 41 years old, his career has spanned over three decades, with memorable performances in "stand by me", "star trek: the next generation, and "the big bang theory." his latest gig, has been dubbed


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