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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  September 20, 2014 12:36am-1:38am PDT

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james spader, stevie wonder, once again, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] seth rogen, james franco, steve higgins and the roots! stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. hope to see you next week. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- heidi klum, actor kieran culkin,
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comedian leslie jones, fred-ex with fred armisen, featuring the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? doing good? [ cheers ] that's great to hear. a little political news. let's start off with a little political news. president obama has announced a former google executive will serve as his cabinet's new chief technology officer. when the google exec was asked how he felt about the new job, he gave 79,000 responses. [ laughter and applause ]
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big tv news today. it was announced that rosie perez will join rosie o'donnell on the new season of "the view." i really hope having two rosies doesn't make the conversations on "the view" confusing to follow. [ laughter and applause ] this is pretty cool. officials at an air show in britain debuted a new low-cost version of a fighter jet which costs $80 million less than its competitors. and it's less expensive because the pilot has to make the fighter jet noises himself. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] coming in on the target. pwew, pwew, pwew! pwew, pwew, pwew! pwew, pwew, pwew! pwew, pwew! [ laughter ] happy birthday to beyonce -- [ cheers and applause ]
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-- who turned 33 today. by the way, 33 is also the percentage of destiny's child that will be celebrating. [ laughter and applause ] to kelly and michelle, it's just thursday. any "game of thrones" fans here? [ cheers and applause ] well, producers have announced that the next season of "game of thrones" will not feature the characters hodor or bran stark, but don't worry. they say the beloved character shirtless woman will definitely be back. [ laughter ] i feel bad for hodor. you know, when he heard the news, he was like, "hodor." [ laughter ] anyone watching the u.s. open? [ cheers and applause ] well, according to a new study, the grunting noise tennis players sometimes make during matches can help their performance, which i guess means
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my neighbors are pretty good tennis players. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] they're really good. and they're doing it at night. [ laughter ] listen to this. pizza hut is debuting a new crust stuffed with cheese and bacon. and then, another company will debut a new coffin stuffed with you. [ laughter and applause ] full circle. this is just amazing. harvard scientists used the internet to successfully send messages directly from someone's brain in india to someone's brain in france. the scientists decided to create this technology because it was easier than explaining e-mail to their moms. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] not a big deal. not sure how to feel about this story. "the spokesman review," a
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newspaper in spokane, washington, featured an obituary lamenting the passing of longtime resident, 93-year-old dick butt. [ light laughter ] funeral services will be held just as soon as you all grow up. [ laughter ] grow up. [ applause ] [ laughter ] should i keep going? all right. some kardashian news for you. [ cheers ] yeah, you're welcome. you're welcome. kim kardashian posed nude for the cover of this month's british "gq." but don't worry, her hands are strategically placed to cover her daughter's tears. [ audience oohs ] [ cheers and applause ] i don't know what happened. that one got away from me. that's just the -- where to stand.
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it's a new set. i don't know where to stand. i realize i drift as i tell jokes. i haven't known this before. all right, here we go. look at this. right? and it's really easy, too, because we have a black floor, and we put a black piece of tape. so how could i miss it? how could i possibly miss it? [ laughter ] listen, we're going to spend a ton of money on a new set. and then, for your mark, we ran out of money. so, all we have -- we have one piece of black tape left. and then just stand perfectly still and everything will be fine. but if you move at all, it will look weird. this is kind of cool. samsung today announced a new smart phone with a camera specifically designed to fit more people in selfies. and they're thinking about calling these new selfies with several people in them photos. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it might just catch on. pretty cool technology news. a hospital in the uk has started
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using robots to deliver food to patients. though apparently, it's not going over very well in the psychiatric ward. "mr. peterson, you have nothing to worry about. you're totally safe here. you just need to relax now. i think in about five minutes the robot will be here with your dinner. so, just sit tight for the dinner robot. and remember, you're fine, you're fine." [ cheers and applause ] this is just awful, just awful. a woman in florida has complained after she was kicked out of a bar for breast feeding. she was breast feeding while drinking a beer and a shot. [ laughter ] they also kicked out her baby for bringing in an outside beverage. [ laughter and applause ] you can't do that at bars. you can't do that at bars.
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and finally, scientists at the university of buffalo have announced that domestic violence among married couples occurs far less when the partners smoke marijuana. in fairness, everything occurs far less when people smoke marijuana. ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how we doing, 8g band? everything good? a week into the new set, are you guys feeling all right with it? you're good? okay, you're not going to make us change it back? maybe a little. okay, good. i want to start a little bit of baseball news. this week a player for the pittsburgh pirates got called up from the minor leagues. his name is john holdzkom. he's from new zealand. he's either the first or one of the first players from new zealand ever to play in major league baseball. he's very tall. he made his first appearance. he's like 6'7" or, as they would say in new zealand, he's over
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two meters. [ light laughter ] you might have thought i was going to do a new zealand accent. but no, i was just -- [ laughter ] it was just metric. it was the metric system. but the most amazing thing about john holdzkom is -- i'm going to be straight up honest because a lot of people on twitter have been telling me this. he looks like he could be my brother. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it's like if jerry seinfeld and i had a baby. [ laughter ] it's john holdzkom. but guess what? i don't need him to be my brother because i have a brother. my brother josh is in a new show on amazon prime that you can watch. it's a pilot for a show called "red oaks," which is about a country club in new jersey in the '80s. it's a really fun show. i highly recommend people watch it. but i'm really excited about it because my brother had to grow a moustache for the part. my brother and i look a lot alike, and i can't grow a moustache.
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i've been trying. [ laughter ] for a year. but it's really exciting for me because when my brother has a moustache in the show, i can kind of get a sense of what i would look like with a moustache. so, we're going to show a clip real quick. here is my brother and his moustache in the new show "red oaks." >> oh, there you are. hi, honey. barry, this is my boyfriend, david. >> hey, buddy. [ laughter ] >> barry here is a photographer for weddings and some bar mitzvahs here. >> obviously, it's not why i went to art school. working here, pays my condo fees and that ain't bad. heats my jacuzz. let's me pursue my real passion. >> magic? >> no, bro. fashion photography. matter of fact, i've been trying to convince goldilocks here to pose for me sometime. >> she is really beautiful, isn't she? >> yeah. no, [ bleep ], sherlock. she's [ bleep ] gorgeous. [ laughter ] >> seth: so, there it is. [ cheers and applause ] there it is. now, we know what my brother looks like with a moustache. we know what i would look like if i had one, and we also know what he would look like if he
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had a moustache. there he is. but check out "red oaks" on amazon prime. it's a great show. we have an excellent show for you tonight. she's the co-host of "project runway" and one of the judges of the hit nbc show "america's got talent." the lovely heidi klum is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] how about that? from the broadway show, "this is our youth," actor kieran culkin will be stopping by. can't wait to talk to him. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll have stand-up comedy from the very funny, my good friend leslie jones. [ cheers and applause ] so, you probably noticed fred is not with us in right now. fred is in portland. he's shooting season five of "portlandia." but we have a way to keep him involved in the show when he's gone with a segment that we've been calling "fred-ex." now, "fred-ex" -- very important. this is not a promotion with fedex, mostly because we just forgot to ask them for money before we started doing it. so, now they're no -- they're not incentivized in any way to give us money. we can ask, but they just politely say, "now, are you
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going to stop if we don't give you money?" we say, "we're not going to stop." and then they go, "in that case, we're probably just going to get it for free." and we say, "we understand." [ laughter ] we understand. you're a good company and that's why you've been around a long time. so, to recap how this works -- on tuesday we took our fedex box, and we stuffed it with three props and a sealed question for fred. what he does is he opens the package. we have somebody film him. he takes out the props. he creates a character, and then he improvises an answer to the question that's in the sealed envelope. so, here is this week's edition of "fred-ex." >> hi, i'm fred. i'm in portland, oregon right now shooting "portlandia." hi, everyone, and here's another "fred-ex." so, there you go. the package is a little damaged. i'm going to blame myself or ourselves. i don't think it has anything to do with fedex. you're a really good company. i heard that they give 110% of their proceeds to charity. here is like a blanket or a shawl or something. oh, wait. there's a hole in it.
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oh, my god. i always wondered about glasses like this. this is how i look without glasses. how crazy is that? isn't that wild? i'm like unrecognizable this way. [ laughter ] oh, that's kind of interesting. hello, i'm roger wagner. i'm a canadian manners coach. and i teach people throughout canada how to respect people's cultures and just proper manners. so, the important thing is to be really polite all the time. everyone you meet, you've got to say please and thank you, and it's a pleasure to meet you. you've got to make sure to shake hands with as many people as you can. and thank them and say, "i'm sorry" and "i'm wrong" and "you're right" all the time. so, what i'm wearing right now is something that somebody in the street gave to me. he said, "please wear this for the rest of your life." and i said, "you know something? to be polite, i'm going to do it." [ laughter ]
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>> if you could ask the president one question, what would you ask him? >> oh, well, heck. if i could ask the president one question, i would just go up to him and i would say, "i am so sorry for entering this room. i really apologize, and i thank you for looking in my direction at all, mr. president. and i'm sorry mr. president, and i should call you your highest excellency your presidency. and i'll ask you one thing. where is the exit? where's the door so i can get out of your way? because i'm right in your way. i'm standing in the hallway, and you need to be doing your business. your presidential business. please don't mind me. i'm going to shake your hand. there you go. thank you very much. nice to meet you. what a pleasure it is. let me get right out of your way, and i hope you're president for another 50 years." [ laughter and applause ] and then a little peck on the cheek. >> seth: thank you, fred. [ cheers and applause ] always great to hear from you. we have a little bit of sad news today. earlier this afternoon, the
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great joan rivers passed away. and we just wanted to take a moment to say how much we'll miss her. she was a guest on this show a month ago. and i haven't been doing this job very long, but i have not sat next to anyone who told more jokes faster than joan rivers did when she was here. she was a performer, a comedian for half a century. and as much as i loved her as a performer, i have so much respect for her as a writer. she wrote everyday. and to write everyday for that long is just so impressive to me. and she's the nicest person in the world, when we got a chance to talk to her backstage. so very happy that i had that moment. and i wish she was here right now. because if she was here right now, she would make a joke about how she just passed away. and she would get away with it because it would be really funny. so, we will miss you, joan rivers. and we will be right back with more "late night" after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. before i continue the show, i'd like to say a few words about george washington. while on his death bed, president washington said, "in my life, i have not accomplished nearly enough to fit the audience at 'late night with seth meyers.'" [ laughter ] and he was right. that said, there are some very
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distinguished guests in our studio audience tonight who absolutely do deserve to be here. [ cheers and applause ] first of whom is famed primatologist brenda fagan. [ cheers and applause ] for the past 45 years brenda has lived with chimpanzees in the coastal region of tanzania where she taught them how to stand upright, walk confidently into an auto dealership and not get dicked around. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, civil rights icon eli robinson is here. [ applause ] in 2009, eli broke a long-standing color barrier by becoming the first african-american to shop at an abercrombie & fitch clothing store. [ laughter ] upon entering, he took one look around and famously said, "oh, this place is very dumb." and then walked right out. eli, you are a trail blazer. [ cheers and applause ] we do not deserve to be in the same room as this next individual. he's the cartoon general from
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the general auto insurance company. there he is. [ cheers and applause ] look at him waving. thank you for being here, general. and who's that next to him? oh, it's his penguin friend. hello, general penguin friend. from the archdiocese of greater cincinnati, father mike is here. give it up for father mike. [ cheers and applause ] you know, now that i think of it, i have never, ever been to confession. father, would you mind if we did this now? look to your left, father. there you are. [ laughter ] bless me, father, for i have sinned. several days ago a woman walking on the street asked me for directions. i told her where to go and when she started walking away i realized the directions i gave her were wrong. [ laughter ] i could have tracked her down, but she was a stranger and i don't think strangers are as important as regular people. [ laughter ] also i don't necessarily litter, per say, but i don't really
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throw things away in garbage cans either. [ laughter ] and in 2012 during the height of hurricane sandy, i ordered takeout from a chinese restaurant in hopes the wind would pick up the delivery man and blow him by my ten-story window, like the cow in twister. that felt really good. it feels like a weight's been lifted. confession is great. [ cheers and applause ] folks, the phrase, "a man amongst men" was created for this next individual, charles henry is here. [ laughter and applause ] charles, a very confident man. you'll soon understand why. charles is the only man to emerge unscathed after asking a woman who was not pregnant if she was pregnant. [ laughter ] realizing his mistake, charles pretended that he had said, "are you an eggplant?" [ laughter ] thank goodness the woman was wearing purple and she thought it was a cute joke. so cute that later that night, he made her pregnant. [ laughter ]
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hey, father mike? father mike? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> seth: i just wanted to explain what i was saying earlier about the flying delivery man. you see, the idea would be that i would be leaning out my apartment window holding the money and he would fly by with the food and we would switch it really fast and then he would go by. like the cow from "twister." [ laughter ] also i hit every floor in every elevator ride i've ever taken. [ laughter ] feels really good to finally get all of that out there. folks, the one and only life-like robot prs-347 is here tonight. there he is. [ applause ] prs-347 is a master at approximating human emotions. how do you feel today, prs-347? >> good. >> seth: no! you don't feel good. you don't feel anything! because you're a robot!
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father mike, i just yelled at an audience member. he never did anything to me. also i've been having impure thoughts during this segment. i envisioned several people naked including this man, this man and our cue card guy wally. [ laughter ] >> thanks, seth! >> seth: you earned it, wally. in fact, i've been envisioning this entire audience naked. and you know what, you look good. give yourselves a round of applause for your naked bodies. we'll be right back with a woman i have no interest in picturing naked, heidi klum. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is a pip.
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it's the yoplait greek taste-off and we are asking the music city which 100-calorie strawberry greek yogurt is the next big thing. i'm a random lady with a table full of yogurt. want some greek yogurt? can i ask you a question? tell us what tastes best. this one is definitely the winner. that one is good. a is great. yoplait greek 100! that's the stuff right there. you want to see which one yoplait greek beat? chobani yes! yoplait greek wins again. take the taste-off for yourself! it is a beautiful day for yogurt. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everyone. our first guest tonight is an emmy award winning television host and entrepreneur and one of the world's most successful supermodels. you can currently see her as a judge on nbc's hit summer series "america's got talent." she's also the co-host of the acclaimed competition series "project runway." let's take a look.
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>> i love the design of this dress. it fits like a glove. the three-piece set is a lot so you have to be very careful that you don't look like, you know, a christmas tree. and i think you did a perfect job giving her a perfect dress to go with a lot of jewelry. it's amazing what you did in one day. i think she looks great. >> seth: please welcome heidi klum. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: thank you for being here. >> hi! thank you so much for having me. >> seth: you look beautiful. >> i tried for you. >> seth: thank you very much. >> i was like, "what am i gonna wear for seth?" this one. not this one. not this one. >> seth: thank you. and next time, if you want me there when you're doing it, i'm happy to help. [ laughter ] >> okay! >> seth: i would love to help. >> or i'm gonna take photos and e-mail them to you and then you can tell me your pick. >> seth: okay, great. make sure -- maybe i'll set up a new e-mail account that's different from the normal one that i usual
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check. [ laughter ] >> because now with this cloud, everyone steals those photos. >> seth: yeah. you can't put anything in the cloud. don't put anything in the cloud. >> no. >> seth: just you know what i'm gonna do, i think people are going to go back to? just photos in manila envelopes slipped under a door. >> well, maybe you will just come by and we'll do it together. >> seth: yeah, that's great. >> much safer that way. >> seth: we'll figure it out. but i think that's the safest. [ laughter ] so you were -- also looked beautiful in the emmys. >> thank you. >> seth: you were there. you -- i was -- there's so much stress for every woman dressing for the emmys because of the red carpet. but for you, because of being on a fashion show -- >> it makes it a little easier, yes. >> seth: oh, it's easier because i thought it would be harder. >> it is a little easier for me because i do have a lot of designer friends. >> seth: right. of course. >> right? so i'm doing "project runway" with zac posen. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> and so he just made something for me. >> seth: that's great. >> so that was easy. >> seth: is it -- when you drive over, do you ever worry about -- you know, like -- >> when we go to the emmys? >> seth: yeah. >> oh. i'm fully laying in a limousine like this. and he's putting it on. he's like, "you have to, like, lay flat all the time." he's like, "you can't wrinkle. you can't --" i'm like, "i'm trying, zac. i'm trying. i'm trying." [ laughter ] i mean, it's hard. >> seth: then they pull the -- what they do --
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>> i wonder how everyone else always does it. i wonder if i'm the only crazy person that does it. >> seth: lying totally flat in a limousine? >> yeah. >> seth: you make the limousine drive up on the curb and they open up the door and you just slide out. >> i just think that they should get a steamer set up. we just take our dress up real quick, it gets steamed, you put it back on and then you go on the red carpet. >> seth: i'd also like to be that guy. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> someone spills something -- right. we need a lot of help. >> seth: i always like the idea of doing steam work. >> someone spilled something on me once and then for the rest of the ride, i just rolled the windows down and put my dress out and air dried it. >> seth: and it worked? >> and it worked. >> seth: wow! >> people don't know what goes on in these cars on the way to the red carpet. >> seth: yeah, well that's exciting. 'cause i think when people see a limousine go by, they want to think something fun's happening and with you, it is. [ laughter ] >> things do happen. >> seth: you -- and then you went to the creative arts emmys a week earlier and that was great because the "project runway" contestants or -- what would you call them? do you call them contestants? >> yeah, they're contestants. they're designers. and we give them a challenge
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every week and this challenge was, i gave them $200 and they had 12 hours to make a gown for me to wear to the creative arts emmys. and the winner from that week was seth. >> seth: oh, really? >> no. sean. >> seth: okay. i got you. [ laughter ] >> i'm lookin' at you and i'm like -- >> seth: i was thinking, "i won?" [ laughter and applause ] oh, my god! there's so many people i want to thank. [ making ringing a bell noise ] >> no, his name was sean. this really great guy, great designer. and i got to wear this dress and there it is. >> seth: it's great! so to do this in 12 hours is insane. >> 12 hours and $200. it's crazy. [ cheers and applause ] and they're all made from prints. because i like to help my designers. you know, this is a mega red carpet and so many photographers. and i feel like i can spread the word about these amazing people, you know, in one bang. and he got a lot of great credit for it. it was great. i just twirled around. some people said that i looked like one of those things in the car wash. [ laughter ] that was not very nice. when i heard that, i was like,
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"okay. they're kinda right but --" >> seth: do you, i didn't realize this, you, when you were younger, won a modeling competition on television in germany. >> i did. in '92, i did. >> seth: wow. and so -- it must be weird for you now being on the judging side. do you have more sympathy for contestants having gone through it? >> no. no. [ laughter ] i don't. they were very hard on me, too. you know, it's a job. it's not a coffee clutch. >> seth: it's not a coffee clutch? >> it's not, you know, you have to work. you do. >> seth: i might not know what a coffee clutch is. [ laughter ] what do you mean when you say coffee clutch? >> when you drink coffee and you just chat and you're hanging out eating cookies and drinking -- >> seth: that's like a coffee clutch. >> you guys don't say that? coffee clutch. >> seth: do we say it? okay, we do say it? okay, great. no, i, look. i'd rather be in the wrong here but i also -- i feel like everyone could read that i was pretending to know what a coffee clutch was. sure, sure, sure. it's not a coffee clutch. how are german reality competition shows different from american ones? are they different or they're very similar? >> how are they different?
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i do think that in america, people understand television a little bit more. they love to be on tv a little bit more than in germany. i feel like it's a little more reserved, a little bit more quiet. it's hard to get them more -- having more enthusiasm. like, here it's easier. people love to be on tv a little bit more. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. and why not, right? people have a little bit more fun. >> seth: they're like, "we love to be on tv!" you guys just applauded for that. >> people have a little bit more fun with it. >> seth: well, speaking of that -- >> both: on "america's got talent" -- >> i mean, i see some wild and crazy things. you know, women coming with rollerblades, juicing, orange juice on their bras. someone is eating a cactus. people are wild. >> seth: and that doesn't count as talent, right? >> i push my buzzer then because i don't think that's a $1 million act. but do i mind seeing it? no. [ laughter ] i don't have a problem seeing that. >> seth: this is a photo for "america's got talent." i'd love for you to talk through how this went down. >> oh, yeah. that was a long day.
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>> seth: that's you and that's a pig. i guess the talent is pickup lines. [ laughter ] >> right. this one is actually a very intelligent pig. he was playing soccer. and this was a very long day. i don't know what happens in the long days when you see 40 or 50 acts on the stage. i got a little loopy. and the pig was like, "oh, pig." and i run onto the stage and i had to kiss the pig. i thought it was for good luck. [ laughter ] i don't know what happened. >> seth: how's your luck been since you kissed the pig? >> pretty good actually. so maybe next time you see a pig, kiss it. >> seth: maybe. or maybe -- a crazy person. you don't know. >> maybe both. >> seth: you -- we actually have a clip of "america's got talent." so this is -- you have a great group of judges this year as last year, right? >> it's howard stern, howie mandel and mel b. from the spice girls and we're having so much fun together. >> seth: let's take look at a clip. ♪ highway to the danger zone ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> i love it. >> you look great. >> in my house, i have four children.
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they are obsessed with -- >> i don't know how you become a dog act. you've become a strength act, too. don't forget about it. >> it's great. you know what it is? he's comfortable because he's the only contestant not wearing pants. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so, he's a strength act and a dog act. >> i mean, i love this act. you know, the dog is so cute and, you know, he's been training this dog for so many years. he's definitely one of my favorites. >> seth: okay, great. you also are known, you're famous for having halloween parties. i know we're a little bit far away from halloween. >> for me, no. >> seth: okay, so you're already planning? >> i've been planning already since june on my costume. >> seth: so, have you decided or do you have options? >> i have. >> seth: oh, okay. >> no, no, there's no options. why is that funny? [ laughter ] i set my mind on one thing and then i go with it. it takes a lot of planning. >> seth: is it a surprise? >> because i really, really, really go for it. >> seth: is it a surprise? do you tell people what you're gonna be? >> i don't people. did you see last year? i was 95-years-old. >> seth: it must have taken hours of makeup.
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>> it took eight hours. >> seth: wow! >> yeah. with prosthetics you put on. even the varicose veins. it was unbelievable. all the spots and all this stuff. i love it. >> seth: and were you having fun at the party dressed like that? >> i did. i was swinging my stick because i had like an old people stick. [ laughter ] i was swinging that. my little purse. i had like, a little rocking chair. it was so much fun. >> seth: wow, that is not a coffee clutch. >> no. [ laughter ] >> seth: thank you so much for being here. heidi klum, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] check out "america's got talent" tuesday and wednesday nights at 9pm right there on nbc and "project runway" airs thursday nights on lifetime. we'll be right back with kieran culkin. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] automotive innovation starts... right here. with a control pad that can read your handwriting, a wide-screen multimedia center, and a head-up display for enhanced driver focus. all inside a newly redesigned cabin of unrivaled style and comfort.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: our next guest is a talented actor you know from films like "igby goes down" and "scott pilgrim verses the world." you can see him making his broadway debut at the court theater in "this is our youth." ladies and gentlemen, please welcome kieran culkin. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: lovely to have you here. >> thank you. glad to be here. new set. >> yes, brand-new set. >> seth: and you said, "i'm not coming until you get a new set" so -- >> that's exactly right. >> seth: and we did it.
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now, you're here. >> thank you very much for doing that. >> seth: so you're in this play. you did it 12 years ago in london? >> 12 years ago, yeah. >> seth: 12 years ago in london? >> yeah and in a different part, too. the part that michael cera is playing. >> seth: yes, you're doing michael cera now and so you switched parts. now when you did it, is this something you've been wanting to do for the last 12 years? >> i been -- yes. since that show ended, i've just been wanting to do it again. for some reason. any other job that i've done, even if i loved it or it's been something i cared about, when it's over, it's done. but for some reason for this, it just wasn't. and i think what the reason was, whenever -- for some reason when i played that part, i played warren, i just don't feel like i did it right. and i was actually talking to the playwright about it recently. he didn't get a chance to see it in london. and i was like, "well, i feel like i misinterpreted the character. i don't feel -- he was like, "oh no. i'm sure you did just fine." so i gave him a brief description about how i played the character. and he went, "yeah, okay, that was wrong." [ laughter ] >> seth: so you're getting another shot at it from it the other side? >> yeah. >> seth: and you convinced cera to do it, yes? >> it didn't even take any convincing. we were doing reshoots on "scott pilgrim" and they just handed him the play.
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more like, here's this interest thing you should read. you know, people -- like you hand somebody your favorite book or something. and i gave it to him thinking he'd just read it. and he came the next day and said, "this is great. can we do it?" let's try. we thought it would take a few months. it's been about four years of really trying hard. [ laughter ] to find some way to do it. >> seth: and you guys must have gotten, must have gotten close over the whole process. and you took michael cera -- you're a wrestling fan. >> i'm a big wrestling fan. i'm a lifer. i've been a fan since i was like -- >> seth: so you've been a fan like wwe? >> wwe, yeah. >> seth: so you and michael cera went -- you took him to see wrestling. >> i did. >> seth: and i have -- my sense of this is you would stand out at a wrestling -- >> okay. well -- here's the thing. first of all, i have a lot of friends who don't really watch wrestling and sometimes i don't but you take them to an event, they're gonna have the best time. they always do. so i told him this. he was like, "i don't know. i'm not sure if i'd watch this." i said, "trust me. you're gonna have a great time." and then i think he got a little bit nervous about the fact that you're going into a crowd of 20 something thousand people and he's very recognizable and as
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much as people are nice, it just might be kind of a hassle. you don't really enjoy the show. so i came up with a brilliant idea to put on a mexican luchador mask on his head. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other ] it's a rey mysterio mask that i put on and then, for solidarity and also because i'm a fan of the ultimate warrior, i painted my face like the ultimate warrior, just so he wouldn't feel stupid. >> seth: right. [ laughter ] of course. >> it's a mask on his head. >> seth: now you were just two normal guys hanging out. >> two dudes -- >> seth: if only one of you does it, "look at that lunatic." now you're just two normal dudes going to a wrestling show. >> exactly. but then, we spent like five minutes at this event and we're walking around. he goes, "this is great. this is -- >> seth: fully covered? >> fully covered. maybe just his mouth and his eyes. we're standing in line to get a beer. this is great. he's not getting recognized. two drunk dude bros turn around and go, "dude, are you michael cera?" [ laughter ] >> seth: his eyes? >> i don't know what it was! his voice or something. he changed his voice a little bit. he was like, "no, i'm not." [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm mysterio.
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>> i'm rey mysterio famous wrestler. >> seth: you've been acting for so long. seven years old when you started? >> like, six. seven. something like that. >> seth: was it always something you wanted to pursue? >> no. it was sort of something we were all like, thrown into. my father was an actor and i think we just sort like -- and it stuck with -- seven of us in the family. it sort of stuck with a couple of us. recently, i see you have the playbill here, we had to write bios for it. and i don't try to like, bother myself -- writing my own bio. so i asked my manager who's -- who's backstage now to write the bio for me. and she wrote this thing or somebody in her office did that said, "kieran culkin film debut was playing ford mcalister in 'home alone'. he later reprised that in 'home alone 2.'" [ laughter ] first of all, i did not reprise anything. [ laughter ] i was 7 years old. i was told to put on fake clothes, say some words in front of a camera, go home, have my chocolate milk, play some thunder cats, go to sleep and go back the next day. reprising a role.
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"yes, i reprised my role of the bed wetter." [ laughter ] >> seth: "oh, i wasn't ready to journey back to that character, but i'll do the work and get back inside that head." >> exactly. >> seth: and then, but then here you are. well, i guess you're not reprising a role. you're playing a different role. >> playing a different role, yeah. >> seth: he would reprise this role but he found out later he did it wrong. [ laughter ] well, congratulations. i can't wait to see it. >> thank you so much. >> seth: kieran culkin, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "this is our youth" is in previews now. it opens up december 11th. we'll be right back with leslie jones. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ not sure, but it what looks awesome. ♪ we heat the room to 110 degrees. huh? she's fine. on your right! what did you get? no clue, but it's jacked with protein.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you've seen our next guest on "saturday night live" and you can also catch her in the upcoming chris rock film "top five." please welcome my good friend leslie jones. [ cheers and applause ] >> what's up? what's up? how y'all doing. how y'all doing?
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yep, yep. i wanna start right off and let y'all know that i'm going through it, i am going through it right now. i just got out of a bad situation -- a bad relation -- okay, let me explain. [ laughter ] i just got out of a -- it wasn't really a relationship. it was more like a booty call that i might have took too serious. [ laughter ] you know that happens. you know that happens. you can't have sex with me more than one time and not be my man, you know what i'm saying? we on a schedule now. you know? it don't matter if you don't love me. i love you! [ laughter ] it's going to work out. it's going to work out. my love is enough. to keep this going. yeah, yeah. he broke up with me at a dog park. and he wore crocs. he wore crocs to the break up. [ laughter ] i was like, you going to wear crocs to this break up? you're going break my heart in leisure shoes?
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what are you like -- crocs? are you like four you can't tie your shoes? [ laughter ] what are you? are you a nurse? so the booty call turn into a police call. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] oh, yeah. can't stop texting? [ yells ] who is this texting? it is ruining my life! woman didn't invent texting, i know woman didn't. because texting shows exactly how crazy a bitch really is. [ laughter ] you always trying to figure out why your man is calling you crazy? go back and read some of your texts. [ laughter ] you will see that you are a psycho. because we don't appropriately use texts. we don't appropriately -- we don't pick the phone up and be like, "hey, hey! don't you talk to me like that. don't you talk to me like that. i got your back. you better check yourself before you wreck yourself." send.
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[ cheers and applause ] but we women. we women, we're emotional. so, an hour later we're like, "i am so sorry. you know i love you. am i still going to be your nasty girl tonight?" send. you remember back in the good old days though when you used to call the answer machine and leave a terrible message. call back, figure out the code, erase the message. do that like, six or seven times. he don't even know you crazy. not texting. texting is instant. it goes right to him. you can't cancel it, you can't snatch it back, you can't do nothing. what we need is app. we need an app that be like, "hey, you sure you want to send that text out?" [ cheers and applause ] you bout 87% crazy right now. [ laughter ] we going to send you a picture
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of your face right now while you texting. then you get a picture of your face that looks like. but it's so easy, and we still send the text. because it's easy. it's so easy to pick the phone up and be like you is a bitch, send. you know what, your mama is one, too. send. i am so sorry for calling your mama that. gladys has always been nice to me. send. are you reading any of my texts? send. then why you not answering any of my text then. bitch. send. i am so sorry for calling you that. you know i love you. [ cheers and applause ] naked picture, naked picture, naked picture, naked picture. send. i'm outside. send.
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[ laughter ] because we crazy! go ahead and own that. i'm so tired of we not owning that. ladies, we need to take the crazy. i'm so tired of a man being able to call us crazy and that's the reason we become crazy. you acting like a crazy woman. what? what! [ yells ] [ laughter and applause ] own it! own it! own it! because we are crazy. we got to be crazy. we got to be crazy for the stuff that society asks us to do, we have babies. [ laughter ] do you know how serious it is to have a baby? inside of our -- we push a human out of our bodies! [ yells ] boom. yo, my name is leslie. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> seth: leslie jones everyone. follow her on twitter @lesdoggg. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ alex jenny jenny carlos alex carlos good morning burrito team! we set out to make a bigger, tastier breakfast burrito and i think we nailed it.
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introducing bigger, better breakfast burritos. the grande sausage, packed with hash browns, sausage, and creamy sriracha sauce and the meat lovers, stuffed with ham, bacon and sausage, both wrapped in a warm guerrero tortilla. burritos so big, they make everything look smaller. is it the biting? ...we need to break up. cuz i can stop? no! i love you and your show. it's cable.
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customers are more satisfied with u-verse. switch and we can stay together forever. forever? ow. i'm not gonna lie to you. it's also the biting. break up with cable. choose u-verse tv from $19 a month for 2 years. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to heidi klum, kieran culkin and leslie jones. the great leslie jones. and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ ♪ >> carson: welcome to "dimples" in burbank. i'm carson daly. thank you so much. you're watching "last call" and here is the line-up for tonight's show. in the music slot, doesn't get much better than franz ferdinand. and we're going to see them from live nation's "wiltern." plus, we snapshot a band that you should be listening to. we're talking about royal canoe. more on that in a little bit but first, richard ayoade is a british entertainer who's made the rounds in the u.k. as a comic, tv personality, actor, and filmmaker and is quickly picking up a great rep right here in the states and abroad for his work behind the camera. his latest project is a black


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