tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC March 9, 2018 12:37am-1:37am PST
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- reese witherspoon, editor of the "new yorker", david remnick, live "new yorker" cartoons. featuring the 8g band with zach danziger. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. when asked about the lawsuit by adult film star stormy daniels against president trump yesterday, white house press secretary sarah huckabee sanders claimed that the case had already been won in arbitration. already?
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"wow, that was fast," said daniels after she and trump had sex. [ laughter ] forbes' list of 2018 billionaires set a record for having the most women in the list's history. so congratulations to susan! [ laughter and applause ] in honor of international women's day, mcdonald's is flipping its golden arches to resemble a w instead of an m. and we can't even show you what they did over at hooters. [ laughter and applause ] president trump will visit california next week to view eight border wall prototypes. eight? how hard is a wall? [ laughter ] as you can see, this one is full of doors. "oh, that's no good because they -- they'll just come right through the doors." oh, yeah, that's a good point.
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well, here's one that's six inches high. "no. [ laughter ] because then they'll just step right over it." oh, boy, you got me again. you're very good at this. [ light laughter ] you're gonna hate the horizontal one. [ laughter ] president trump, today, announced his new steel tariffs in an appearance with some steelworkers, and this happened. take a look. >> i'd like to tell you a story about my father during the '80s. he lost his job due to imports coming into this country, and i just want to tell you what that does to a man with six kids is devastating. so i never forgot that, looking into his eyes in my household what that does to a family. you hear about it. but when you're actually involved and it impacts you, it will never leave you. so with that being said for herman sarge, your story didn't end. >> your father is herman? >> herman sarge. yes, sir. >> well, your father herman is
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looking down. he's very proud of you. >> oh, he's still alive. [ laughter ] >> oh, he is? then he's even more proud of you. [ laughter ] >> seth: so we don't often agree with donald trump on this show, but i kind of have his back here. which brings us to a new segment called "i also thought that guy's dad was dead." ♪ >> seth: i also thought that guy's dad was dead. [ laughter ] i mean, i'm super, super happy he's not. but that's also what i thought. [ light laughter ] >> this has been "i also thought that guy's dad was dead." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: see? we can agree every now and then. a washington state woman has been charged with attempted murder for allegedly attacking her boyfriend with a samurai sword after she found the dating app tinder on his phone. when reached for comment the man
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said, "this, rebecca. this is the kind of stuff i'm talking about." [ laughter ] a family in colorado is claiming they bought a box of quaker oats cereal from walmart that had expired 21 years ago. the family became suspicious when they noticed the quaker guy still had brown hair. [ laughter ] used to be a catch. and finally, according to reuters, a growing number of athletes are attempting to speed up the muscle recovery process after strenuous exercise by using leeches. "you can borrow my leeches!" said trump! [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have -- we truly have a fantastic show for you tonight. she's starring in the new film "a wrinkle in time." reese witherspoon is here, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] he is the editor of the "new yorker," david remnick.
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we are always so happy to have him back because that means -- [ cheers and applause ] we're going to have a brand-new edition of live "new yorker" cartoons. but before we get to all of that, even as he tries to refocus on trade policy, donald trump's presidency has been rocked this week by escalating scandals related to everything from russian meddling to porn stars. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: on top of everything else going on right now, president trump, of course, is being sued by porn star stormy daniels over a reported hush payment trump's lawyer made to her just weeks before the election to hide an alleged affair. the trump white house has insisted that the accusations are false, but last night we found out more about the lengths to which trump's lawyer has gone to silence daniels. >> nbc news has learned that in late february, the president's lawyer michael cohen secretly obtained a temporary restraining order against daniels. the order, issued by a private arbiter, bars daniels from disclosing confidential information related to what her
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lawyer calls "a hush agreement," designed to keep daniels quiet about the intimate relationship she's alleged to have had with mr. trump. >> seth: that's right. the president of the united states got a restraining order against a porn star. which means we have to say goodbye to the old lowest point in american history. goodbye, garth brooks's rock and roll alter ego chris gaines! [ laughter ] we hardly knew you! [ applause ] and while that story is developing, trump is also dealing with the fallout from the ongoing russian probe, which, not for nothing, isn't a bad porn title. [ laughter ] now, there's a lot that we don't know about special counsel robert mueller's investigation of trump's ties to russia, but one thing we do know is that trump has been acting super guilty. trump has tried to fire or coerce almost everyone involved in the russia investigation and refuses to impose sanctions on russia. and yesterday we got yet another report about trump's suspicious behavior. against the advice of his
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lawyers, trump has been talking to witnesses in the investigation to find out what they've been saying. and robert mueller found out about it. >> the special counsel has learned of two conversations in recent months in which president trump asked key witnesses about matters they discussed with investigators. >> seth: he asked witnesses about their conversations with investigators. trump looks so guilty at this point, even pictures of him have shifty, haunted mansion eyes. [ laughter ] now, as you might recall, the "new york times" reported in january that trump had ordered his white house counsel don mcgahn to fire mueller, which mcgahn refused to do. now, according to this new reporting, the president told an aide that mcgahn should issue a statement denying the "new york times" article in january, but mcgahn did not publicly deny the article. so just to recap -- trump told mcgahn to fire mueller, but mcgahn refused, which got out. so trump told mcgahn to deny that he told him to fire mueller, which mcgahn again refused, which then also got out. [ laughter ]
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seriously, how are these two still together? [ laughter ] trump tells mcgahn to do stuff, mcgahn says no, it keeps getting in the press, but trump doesn't fire mcgahn and mcgahn doesn't quit. they're like one of those couples that ruins every dinner party by fighting, and when they leave someone says, "they must have amazing sex." [ laughter ] meanwhile, we keep getting more information about the trump team's ties to the russia, and specifically their efforts after the election to set up a secret communications channel with the kremlin. apparently mueller is now homing in on erik prince, founder of the mercenary company blackwater and an advisor to trump's transition team. specifically, mueller is now looking at a secret meeting prince held with a kremlin emissary on a remote island shortly after the election. >> robert mueller has, quote, "gathered evidence that a secret meeting in the seychelles just before the inauguration of donald trump was an effort to establish a back channel between the incoming administration and the kremlin." erik prince, the founder of the
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private military company blackwater, met with a russian official close to president vladimir putin. a witness cooperating with mueller has told investigators the meeting was set up in advance, so that a representative of the trump transition could meet with an emissary from moscow to discuss future relations between the two countries. >> seth: wait. you're telling me a secret meeting on a remote island in the indian ocean between a mercenary and an agent of the kremlin turned out to be suspicious? [ laughter ] where was the meeting? inside a volcano the shape of a skull? [ laughter ] "we'll get down to business shortly, gentlemen, but first, enjoy your zebra steaks! [ laughter ] orphans, serve us!" [ laughter ] now, the meeting is of special interest to mueller apparently because prince has lied about it. he later told investigators the meeting was an unplanned encounter that came about by chance, because he happened to be at a luxury hotel in the indian ocean island nation with officials from the united arab emirates.
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that's right. he tried to pass it off as a chance encounter. "i swear! i just happen to be vacationing on a remote island when i ran into a close friend of vladimir putin's, and silly me, i got a paper cut on my hand, and before you know it, we were swearing a blood oath and chanting 'hail hydra!'" [ laughter and applause ] it was just one of those sandals commercials! [ cheers and applause ] and by the way, this isn't even the first time the trump team has tried to set up a secret back channel with the kremlin. which, not for nothing, isn't a bad porn title. [ laughter ] because last year, as you may recall, the "washington post" broke this story about the president's son-in-law and senior advisor jared kushner. >> jared kushner and russia's ambassador to washington discussed the possibility of setting up a secret and secure communications channel between trump's transition team and the kremlin. >> seth: that's right. jared kushner tried to set up a secret communications channel between the white house and the kremlin, but unfortunately, he couldn't find a string love
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enough to reach moscow. [ laughter ] now we don't know exactly what came of all these attempts to set up a secret back channel, but earlier this week we learned more about what exactly the kremlin may have wanted from the trump team, when the "new yorker" published a blockbuster story about ex-british spy christopher steele. he's the guy who wrote that infamous dossier about trump's alleged ties to russia, the one that contained those salacious rumors about trump. now, i can't tell you about those rumors, because they are unverified. but i don't need to, because, as we've documented on this show before, trump wingman and fox news host sean hannity is all too happy, for some reason, to repeat the details of this embarrassing allegation over and over again on his show. and with the steele dossier back in the news, trump supporter sean hannity is at it again. >> remember, that's the dossier that talked about trump at a ritz-carlton in moscow with two prostitutes urinating on his bed? the fake document about president trump, and that goes to the ritz-carlton, and that
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goes to hookers. that phony dossier quoting russians and the ritz-carlton and hookers. that was about the ritz-carlton and hookers. you know, talking about hookers and urinating in beds. hookers, ritz-carlton, urinating on a bed. russian, hookers. hookers. hookers. hookers. hookers urinating in his bed. peeing. urinating. urinating. urinating on beds. wow! [ laughter ] it is -- you laugh at the hookers in the ritz in moscow. is that the funny part? >> seth: no. [ laughter ] the funny part -- the funny part is that you keep telling us about it. the only way you could do more to advertise this story is if you took out three billboards. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now this allegation was actually back in the news this week thanks to ex-trump campaign aide sam nunberg, who you may recall had a meltdown on cable news when he was called to appear before a grand jury by mueller. nunberg mentioned that mueller was interested in trump's trip to moscow in 2013 for the
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miss universe pageant. nunberg admitted that a russian associate offered to send women up to trump's hotel room, but insisted that according to trump's longtime bodyguard, keith schiller, trump had rejected the offer. >> i was told that that idiot eamon had offered to send women up to trump's room, but trump didn't want it. >> when you say i was told that the russians offered to send women to trump's room and he didn't want it -- >> no, i was told that eamon offered to send women up there and trump flat-out refused it. trump did flat-out refuse it and i can tell you that trump is too smart to have women come up to his room. >> seth: do you think donald trump is too smart to have women coming up to his room? he's not even too smart to not take a picture with them. [ laughter ] "okay, got that camera ready? everybody say 'exhibit a!'" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] okay, but still. let's give trump the benefit of
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the doubt. he might be an idiot, but even he is too smart to ever have women up to his hotel room, right? >> in an interview published tonight by "the daily beast," adult film star alana evans says she spoke with stephanie clifford, aka stormy daniels. "she tells me, 'all i'm going to say is i ended with donald in his hotel room. picture him chasing me around his hotel room in his tighty whities.'" >> seth: no! [ laughter ] i don't want to picture that! but seriously, while it's a terrifying thought to picture trump chasing you in his tighty whities, the only way he'd ever catch you is if you broke both ankles. [ laughter ] "oh, no!" "come here!" "wait, are you chasing me?" "i'm going to get you." [ laughter ] "i have to be honest, you're moving so slowly i can't tell if you're even getting closer." [ laughter ] okay, now that was all from the first steele dossier, but the "new yorker" reported this week that steele actually wrote a second dossier about the trump transition team's communications with russia after the election, specifically about an alleged attempt by the kremlin to block one of trump's possible picks
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for secretary of state. >> steele wrote another memo back in november 2016, in which a senior russian official relayed talk circulating in the russian ministry of foreign affairs the kremlin had intervened to block trump's initial choice of secretary of state mitt romney. and that the kremlin, through unspecified channels, had asked trump to appoint someone who would be prepared to lift ukraine-related sanctions. >> seth: that's right, the russians allegedly intervened to block mitt romney from being secretary of state, which is a bummer for romney, because he still had to have dinner with donald trump. [ light laughter ] look at romney's face. that face is the physical manifestation of this sound. [ sad tuba note ] [ laughter ] so trump is swinging wildly on policy, he's being sued by a porn star, and investigators are homing in on his ties to the kremlin. and even his biggest supporters seem to be mostly interested in -- >> peeing, urinating hookers. >> seth: which, not for nothing -- isn't a bad porn title. [ laughter ] this has been "a closer look."
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every night i deliver a monologue comprised of jokes written by a diverse team of writers. as a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that due to my being a straight, white male would be difficult for me to deliver. but we don't think that should stop you from enjoying them. so now, to celebrate international women's day, we'd like to share them with you in a segment called "jokes seth can't tell." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: these are two of our writers, amber and jenny. >> i'm black. >> and i'm gay. >> and we're both women. >> seth: and i'm not! so here's how this works. i will read the setup for these jokes and amber and jenny will read the punchlines. here we go. new york university came under fire last month when their cafeteria served watermelon water to celebrate black history month. >> said black people, "i'm offended that there's not more sugar in this." [ laughter ] >> seth: an out lesbian recently competed on belgium's olympic skeleton team.
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>> because if there's one thing lesbians excel at, it's going down head first. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: hey jenny, did you watch the olympics? >> i watched women's hockey! >> seth: oh great, like with a big group of friends? >> no. alone. with candles. [ laughter ] >> seth: hockey? [ light laughter ] a group of black parents is suing a new jersey school district for allegedly segregating black students. >> officials became suspicious when one school won every track meet. [ light laughter ] >> seth: amber, did you do a sport growing up? >> yeah! i did gymnastics. they even had a fun nickname for me. >> seth: oh yeah, what was that? >> the black girl who does gymnastics. [ light laughter ] >> seth: a catholic school in michigan recently fired their lesbian softball coach. >> i've got news for that school, you replaced her with a lesbian softball coach. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: hey, jenny, do you like softball? >> oh, just parts of it. >> seth: oh, which parts?
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>> third base. [ laughter ] >> seth: "clueless" star stacey dash is reportedly running for congress. >> "stacey who," said black people who know exactly who she is. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: a female entrepreneur has created a vacation resort where no men are allowed. >> women who visit can enjoy activities like snorkeling and finishing their own sentences. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: nice one. >> and you know what i mean by snorkeling, seth. >> seth: jenny! >> i mean looking at tropical fish. >> seth: oh, i'm sorry. >> and by tropical fish i mean -- >> seth: jenny! [ light laughter ] a nascar pit crew has hired its first black tire-changer. >> said nascar drivers, "hey, my hub caps!" [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] >> seth: famously anti-gay pastor billy graham passed away last month.
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>> and i'd like to think he's looking up at us right now. [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] >> seth: got some oohs there. >> yeah, a few oohs. i think his ghost was here and it is also homophobic. >> seth: oh. [ light laughter ] >> hey, seth, why don't you tell one? >> seth: oh, i don't think it's a good idea, guys! >> oh, come on. just one! >> seth: i don't feel like this will end well. >> please? >> please? >> seth: okay! okay. [ light laughter ] today is international women's day. international women's day is like a regular day, but less rational. [ audience ohs ] >> how dare you? >> seth: you told me it would be okay! >> you should be ashamed of yourself! >> seth: you promised me! black women and lesbians are liars! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with reese witherspoon, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we're almost there. she's coming!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. and please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] all week long we've had a highly versatile drummer sitting in with us who can currently be seen and heard with his innovative group, edit bunker, and also on the cover of the march issue of "modern drummer" magazine. zach danziger, everybody, right over there. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for a great week. really appreciate it, zach. >> thank you. >> seth: our first guest tonight is an academy award-winning actress you know from films like "legally blonde" and "walk the line" and hbo's hit show, "big little lies." she stars as mrs. whatsit in the upcoming film, "a wrinkle in time", which is in theaters everywhere tomorrow. let's take a look. >> what can i do for you, mrs. whatsit? >> i caught her stealing sheets guys. she's harmless. >> you're six. come on. what do you know about harmless? >> have i ever been wrong? >> well one of these days you might be, charles wallace. >> oh, i highly doubt that. he's one of the greatest minds in recent history.
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he's prodigious. but of course, we can't take any credit for our talents. it's how we use them that counts. >> seth: please welcome to the show reese witherspoon, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: i am so happy to have you here. >> i'm so excited to see you! i don't know why i always wave at the band. they're like, "i'm playing. i can't" -- [ laughter ] >> seth: this is a terrible time. >> they're like, okay. >> seth: and they desperately want to wave back. but then all of the music goes to pieces. >> sorry. y'all are amazing. >> seth: i -- we first met in this building in 2001. you hosted my first "snl", which was not the most memorable part of that. it was also the first "snl" after 9/11 -- >> yes. >> seth: what was a crazy "snl" to host. >> yes. >> seth: very burdensome. i will say, from my side it was lovely to have somebody come in who was as sort of upbeat and
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wonderful as you were. >> what you meant was as terrified as you were. >> seth: yeah. but i always felt bad for you, because it was my -- it was our -- both of our first "snls." >> yeah. >> seth: i then, got to, like, stick around and do them as they got farther away from 9/11. >> yeah. >> seth: but that's your only experience. >> and i waited 15 years to come back. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah, exactly. that was very smart. >> i got really freaked out. >> seth: yeah. >> it was a lot of pressure. >> seth: yeah. >> but i was really happy to do it because -- you know lorne felt really strongly that the city needed to laugh. >> seth: yeah. >> and that people needed to know that americans weren't going to be -- we weren't gonna sit down and not let joy come back into our lives. >> seth: and it was lovely, because that was -- i do feel like doing that show, everyone said i'm so glad the show was back. and then like two weeks later they were like, this show sucks. it was only good in the '70s. [ laughter ] and that's when i really knew -- >> that's not true. >> seth: that's when i knew that it was really back. that we were okay. >> you were amazing. you were so good. >> seth: i was not. i was not fishing. so congratulations on this film. you had the premiere the other night. >> yes. >> seth: was this a book that you were familiar with?
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>> yes. i read this book when i was 12 and i just loved it. "a wrinkle in time." and i read every book in the series, because i was also a little bit of a nerd. [ light laughter ] and i just thought it was magical. it was -- i loved sci-fi as a little girl and i didn't always find books that had a girl at the center -- >> seth: sure. >> of a sci-fi story. so it was really exciting. and my kids read the book, too, in sixth grade. >> seth: and were they excited when you get cast in a book they've read? >> yeah. they were really excited. but i said to my son, i said, well -- because i couldn't really remember what the character was. i said, well ava duvernay just called me and asked me if i'd be mrs. whatsit. and he's like, "mrs. whatsit like a really, really old lady." [ laughter ] and i was like, "really?" so i called my agent and i go, "she wants me to play like a -- i know, i mean i'm over 40 in hollywood but i mean really?" [ laughter ] like a really old lady? and so anyway, she said, "no, no, no. i want to reimagine it these incredible celestial beings who are funny." and i was like, "oh. okay, yeah.
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okay, cool." [ laughter ] oh, cool. yeah, yeah. >> seth: 'cause i also saw myself as more of a celestial being. [ laughter ] >> yeah. less old lady. like, more like a star fallen from the sky. >> seth: you have incredible co-stars. mindy kaling is one of them. who i adore and she's just wonderful. >> love mindy. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: just the best. >> you guys! mindy kaling, we would like joke on the set because, it was like me, oprah, and mindy kaling. and, like, every time mindy would walk out the door, she'd come back, she'd be like, "well i re-wrote a script and i also did a podcast and i also wrote my new episode of my new television show." i was like, i mean what? and then oprah would be over there going, like, "i have to do a board meeting on the phone. can you guys be quiet? i'm also finding a new ceo for weightwatchers. and also" -- and i was, like, i got to step up my game you guys. [ laughter ] >> seth: how was -- well you -- i mean you have been stepping up your game. you're selling yourself short, because you've been producing -- >> well, 'cause i've got to keep up with mindy and oprah! >> seth: yeah, that's true. that's a very unfair bar to set. how but -- real quick, how is it to be around oprah? >> it's amazing. >> seth: yeah. >> i can't actually believe they payed me american dollars to get to sit next to her and learn
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every -- like she's just -- i was scared, too. because you know, sometimes you meet your heroes and they're not as awesome as you want them to be? she's better than i ever imagined. >> seth: i once sat next to her at a restaurant and i so wanted to go over and say hi, but then i also thought, i think oprah more than anyone deserves a quiet meal. and then i shifted from not only was i not gonna say hi, but if anyone approached the table i'd take a swing at them. [ laughter ] like, you leave this woman alone! >> she's an american treasure! >> seth: she's done so much for you! >> oh, see, i go the other way and go, "want to be best friends?" [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, right. well that would work. >> i'm really fun at parties. [ laughter ] >> seth: but again, you are -- you also have been so prolific. you've been producing shows. you produced "big little lies." congratulations. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. yeah. >> seth: i know -- obviously this is one of those shows that you can't talk too much about, but certainly season two has some very exciting casting news. >> so, y'all, we're starting next friday. >> seth: so excited. >> on "big little lies" two. [ cheers and applause ] i can't believe it.
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and not only do we have every cast member coming back, but also meryl streep is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: what is that like? what is the moment where you get meryl streep to agree to do your show? >> well, she sent an email to nicole and i. and it said "okay, i read the part and i love it and i'm going to do it." and i, like, dropped the phone. like, mic drop, but i phone dropped. and i was like -- and then i called nicole and i was like, "is this real life? like is this really happening?" and then i got off the phone with nicole and i like hugged myself gently for a minute. [ light laughter ] and said, "this is really happening. you're really working with meryl streep." and then i called the writer and go, "you better write me good scenes with meryl streep!" [ light laughter ] >> seth: do you think -- do you think meryl streep, historically every time she said i'll do the part has then -- hears a phone hit the ground? [ laughter ] like that's just what she goes through. >> or, like, just somebody falling over like -- [ light laughter ] >> seth: she says i have some news for you, but i want to make sure you're near a hospital. >> yeah. are you sitting down?
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>> seth: well, congratulations on that. i am so excited to watch it. congrats on the movie and it's always such a pleasure to see you. thanks for being here. >> so nice to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: reese witherspoon everybody. "a wrinkle in time" will be in theaters and imax this friday. we'll be right back with david remnick, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ lock its tuition... from your first dream to your first dollar. from between shifts and after hours. from the struggle, to the reckoning. to the moment you sit in that auditorium and realize that your whole life is about to change. what if a university could guarantee fixed affordable tuition... from your first class, to your last. thisat red lobsterest. with exciting new dishes like dueling lobster tails and lobster truffle mac & cheese. classics like lobster lover's dream are here too. so enjoy these 10 lobsterlicious dishes while you can because lobsterfest won't last.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is the editor of the "new yorker" and host of the "new yorker radio hour", a national radio program and podcast. please welcome back to the show, david remnick. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: i'm so happy you are here. it feels like every time you're here -- you used to live in russia, you reported in russia, you wrote a book about russia, we are talking about russia. so should we just get right into it? >> can we say urine as many times as humanly possible? [ light laughter ] >> seth: i feel like -- i feel like we've hit our quota for today. you guys just published a wonderful piece by jane mayer about christopher steele, who put the dossier together, the dossier that obviously we've been talking about. how long -- it's such an incredible piece and very gripping to read. how long does someone like jane
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work on a piece like that? >> oh, months and months. and that's the virtue of the "new yorker" is that people are unleashed to go do their research for six months sometimes, sometimes even a year. and what she found is that this guy, who is under very heavy attack -- particularly from the republican party, people in congress and elsewhere -- is an honest intelligence officer who's worked for mi6 which is foreign intelligence in great britain. he worked for moscow for three years on the ground. and now he's in private business. and he was hired first by a republican entity, and then, it switched over to the democrats. so this was a -- nobody is claiming that this dossier is 100% true. it may even be, seth, that that scene in the hotel room that sean hannity has -- >> seth: obsessed with? >> discussed more than one or two times, who knows? and he does not present it as absolutely solid. but is raw intelligence that is proving each month to be more and more reliable as the facts accumulate. >> seth: as someone who's spent as much time in russia as you
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did, and i know you were there for the fall of communism and -- so there was this dawn of maybe this was going to be a different thing. >> there's going to be democracy and it's going to be fantastic. >> seth: but with -- yet, you kind of saw how quickly that wasn't going to work. are you surprised by any of this? or is this whole story about russian meddling very in line with what you've seen? >> well, about democracy itself falling apart all over the world, including right here? >> seth: yeah. >> it's an incredibly cheerful story. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, in 1989 through 1991, democracy was on the march in russia. and even in china, there was tiananmen square you remember. >> seth: yeah. >> and throughout the world, there were growing democracies. now we are in this moment of authoritarian populism, even, in my mind, most remarkably, in the united states of america. so it's a very serious moment in global history. am i surprised about what's going on between russia and the united states? not at all. because think of vladimir putin as a guy who's playing global poker, and he's got two threes in his hand. >> seth: uh-huh. >> but he's playing that hand magnificently well. >> seth: right. >> he's thrown the united states off kilter.
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>> seth: right. >> he's got -- and then trump has, like, two uno cards and, like, a subway -- [ laughter ] like a subway punch card. >> yeah, yeah. exactly. although i don't think he does the subway. he's a germaphobe. >> seth: yeah, exactly. are you surprised by the discretion as far as how this investigation is going -- the mueller investigation? >> robert mueller is amazing. this guy -- you know, i've been around washington and was at the "washington post" for ten years and the "new yorker" for many more years than that, and i have never seen an investigation this leak proof. i mean, really good reporters have tried to find out what's going on inside that investigation. there hasn't been a picture of robert mueller -- >> seth: yeah, we have to keep using an old one. >> in months! exactly. it's incredible. and so there he is and he is the picture of rectitude, white shirt, dark tie, casio watch. we did a fashion piece on him this week. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i mean that -- nothing will bother more -- bother donald trump more than a guy with a casio taking him
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down. >> exactly. [ light laughter ] exactly. it'd be alright if it was a $25,000 watch. >> seth: it'd be like this, "you know, i've got to give him credit. he's got a nice watch." [ light laughter ] i want to talk as well about -- you know, there's this weird thing happening where i feel like we're learning reporters' names more because of the reporting they're doing. and the harvey weinstein story was another huge story this year. and obviously there was great work over the "new york times" with jodi kantor and -- >> megan twohey. >> seth: and megan twohey, of course. and then, of course, ronan farrow for the "new yorker." you guys had tried to write about harvey in the past -- >> 14, 15 years ago. >> seth: yeah. >> ken auletta, a terrific reporter, took a run at harvey weinstein and was doing a profile of him. and you know, the profile was not exactly kind. he came out looking like somebody that's extremely talented, but a bully. a bully to everyone, people in business, movie stars and all of the rest. and in the course of his reporting, he started to hear at least bits of what we now know to be the case. and we had without -- i can't say too much about it.
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we did have a lawyer meeting with ken and harvey weinstein, bob, his brother bob weinstein, and their lawyer, david boyce. and you know, again, we were trying to extract more information. but really, the two women that we knew about had signed non-disclosure agreements. they weren't willing to come forward. and in order for us to publish, we have to know things, not just guess at them. this is not the tabloid press. this is not, you know, "tmz" or whatever it is. we have to know. but i can't say that in the intervening years, i haven't been tortured almost by the knowledge that this guy was most likely doing what he turned out to be doing. i mean, it's a terrible thing. but in order to publish -- and it's not just a matter of not being sued, but about being right. >> seth: sure. >> and doing the right thing, you have to know. and ronan farrow came along and he did an extraordinary job. and he worked beautifully and he was new to the "new yorker" and he worked with
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deirdre foley-mendelssohn and david rhode and others. and our lawyer and checkers and really nailed it. and the competition between the "new yorker" and the "new york times" i thought was the healthiest thing imaginable. because each time, the story upped the ante without getting ahead of the facts and it was really a remarkable thing. >> seth: well, it certainly was remarkable to read. i also want to ask you, you are hosting the podcast, "the new yorker radio hour." do you enjoy doing the podcast? >> well, as a kid, i was a kind of, you know, one of those kids who stayed up all night listening to talk radio. >> seth: sure. >> i love that stuff. and so i'm pretty much going to quit my job, my day job as editor of the "new yorker" and just take calls all day long. >> seth: yeah, exactly. [ light laughter ] >> i think that'd be great. >> seth: make that podcast money, david. treat yourself. >> exactly. [ light laughter ] podcast money, it's huge. [ laughter ] huge! >> seth: the next time you're gonna be having one of those casios. [ light laughter ] >> two casios. >> seth: two casios. one for each wrist.chee and app] ♪ this
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get high-speed internet from at&t $30 per month. no extra monthly fees. more for your thing. that's our thing. att.com/internet ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night." now david, one of the most popular features in the "new yorker" are the cartoons. and in these tumultuous times, it's probably more important now than ever to be funny. >> so what's your excuse, seth? >> seth: excellent burn, david. [ light laughter ] now in what has become a tradition here on "late night", every time you appear on the show, we present live "new yorker" cartoons. >> and i, acting as your cartoon shepherd, guide us through these
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intricately crafted enigmatic compositions that ingeniously mix image and word. >> seth: and what does that mean? >> i explain the cartoons. >> seth: oh, right, of course. [ laughter ] then let's get to it. without further ado, our theater troupe in residence, the "late night" players, are happy to debut their newest piece, "live 'new yorker' cartoons part six: beyond punderdome." [ cheers and applause ] let's see our first cartoon, originally drawn by carolita johnson. >> i'm getting your dear departed husband. he can't believe you paid $45 for this. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: now, dave. can i call you dave? >> no. >> seth: okay. david, do you care to explain the cartoon? >> seth, have you ever been to a psychic? >> seth: i haven't. >> well most people believe that all a psychic has to offer is nothing more than claptrap,
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hogwash, and -- can you swear on the show, seth? >> seth: no. >> okay, it's total bull [ bleep ]. and you know who agrees with me? her dead husband. >> seth: that is a perfect, perfect distillation of that cartoon david. our next cartoon is by ellis rosen. >> january 5th, 2018. journal entry six. morale is low. it's been three days and i'm beginning to doubt the rumors of uptown service. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: oh, very good. he's very good. he's very good. >> terrific. he's very good. >> seth: david, what did we just see? >> seth, the new york city subway system is to put it mildly, a hell hole. >> seth: yeah, is that so? >> and what this cartoon does so effectively is convey the horror of what it's like to be stranded on your own and asking yourself the very question that is at the heart of human kind -- if i go upstairs and call uber
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will the train come as soon as i leave? >> seth: oh, yes. [ laughter ] we've all felt that. >> we have. we have. [ applause ] >> seth: our next cartoon is by charlie hankin. [ light laughter ] >> can i offer you anything? [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: those are actual dogs. what i love about these cartoons, david, is that they make you laugh. but more importantly, they make you think. do you care to explain what we just saw? >> it's dogs doing people stuff, seth. it's funny. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] anything else to add? >> absolutely not. >> seth: all right. our next cartoon is by maddie dai. >> you're allowed to keep collecting teeth, but we're going to call you a fairy to make it less terrifying. [ laughter ]
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[ applause ] >> seth: david, explain. >> seth, every mythic figure has an origin story. zeus, aries, and here the tooth fairy. >> seth: and what is the tooth fairy's origin story? >> that she's a psychopath who got good p.r. advice. >> seth: there we go. is there anything you'd like to say about our final cartoon? >> no. i'd rather just talk directly to younger viewers for a second. >> seth: okay, sure. >> hello, youths. [ laughter ] what's boppin'? i'm dave remnick, editor of the "new yorker," but you can just call me d.j. rem. [ laughter ] i want you to know that the "new yorker" isn't just for stick-in-the-mud grown-ups, it's also for teens. along with our long form literary journalism, we also have some cool-ass articles about skateboarding. [ laughter ] weed stuff. [ laughter ] and soda. [ light laughter ] and if you get your subscription today, i'll buy you cigarettes. [ laughter ] >> seth: wow. david, i have to say, i think -- [ cheers and applause ]
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i think you're lying. >> anything to boost subscriptions. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] our final cartoon is by will mcphail. let's take a look. >> it ruins the effect if i say who it is. can you just come down? [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: the "late night" players, everyone! we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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