tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC March 31, 2018 12:37am-1:38am PDT
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- john mulaney, congressman from massachusetts seth moulton, making the world's best cheeseburger with matty matheson, featuring the 8g band with alan cage. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, setheyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? [ cheering and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. you know, every day here we use jokes to try to bring awareness to the awful state of american politics. we try to provide depth, insight and clarity on complex and important issues. but then sometimes something like this happens.
[ laughter ] >> seth: and that means it's time for our new segment, "let's get petty." ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> seth: wow, dude. well, i guess there's one draft you couldn't dodge. [ laughter ] hey, trump, where are you going? bald? and you thought cnn was giving you bad coverage. [ light laughter ] it's like a mullet, except no one showed up to the party in the back. [ light laughter ] this explains why he's so intent on keeping the coal industry alive. look what wind does to him. [ laughter ] i've seen more hair on a sonogram. [ laughter ] you spent so much time lying in bed, that you have no hair on
the back of your head. [ light laughter ] this is literally what happens to babies. [ light laughter ] it's like on "let's make a deal" when you open door number one and there's nothing there. [ light laughter ] there's still -- there's was one more thing it's reminding me of. what is it? oh, yeah, that's it. [ laughter ] this has been "let's get petty." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] all right. we've had our fun. now let's get to the news. but just for fun, we are going to use the back of his head as our trump photo today. [ light laughter ] according to cnn, president trump still wants to talk to special counsel robert mueller despite his lawyer's advising him not to. with one source saying trump thinks he can work this. oh, yes, please try to work it with robert mueller. [ light laughter ] i think trump would have a better chance on "jeopardy." [ light laughter ] according to "the washington post," at president trump's request pentagon officials have
started planning a grand military parade for later this year. what a great way to show the world that if you mess with us we will screw up our own traffic. [ light laughter ] that's right, president trump told the pentagon he wanted a military parade like the one in france. added trump, "you know, where the naked ladies dance." [ light laughter ] lawmakers have started speaking out against president trump's proposed military parade through washington, with senator dick durbin calling it a fantastic waste of money to amuse the president. which, by the way, was the original title of "fox and friends."" [ laughter ] north korea announced today that leader kim jong un's younger sister will attend the upcoming winter olympics, who has been called their equivalent of ivanka trump. except that she makes her clothing line in america. [ audience oohs ] [ light laughter ] so a small, subtle difference. [ applause ] a boston restaurant is offering customers a special valentine's
day burger that comes with an engagement ring on the side for $3,000. the burger will be well done and the yes will be rare. [ laughter ] a new survey found that the average new york city resident had sex 27.6 times a year. and for those of you from out of town, that .6 just comes from riding the subway. [ laughter ] i got .6. [ applause ] i just got .6-ed. a pennsylvania doctor is being accused of treating patients while high on cocaine. but to his credit, his appointments always start on time. [ light laughter ] it was announced yesterday that the producers of "game of thrones" will write and direct a new series of "star wars" films. said fans of "game of thrones" and "star wars," "mom, we're out of mountain dew!" [ light laughter ]
and finally, valentine's day is one week away. and if you're wondering what melania is getting, half of everything. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen -- eventually, eventually. we have a fantastic show for you tonight. he is one of our favorites. he's co-hosting the film independent spirit awards with nick kroll on saturday, march 3rd on ifc. and his "kid gorgeous" standup tour will be at radio city music hall from february 16th through february 19th, john mulaney is back on the show. our very good friend john mulaney. [ cheering and applause ] we'll also be joined by congressman from massachusetts, seth moulton is here, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] so excited to talk to him. and he's got a fantastic show on viceland, "it's suppertime!." and we'll be cooking up the world's best cheeseburger for us. matty matheson is here. [ cheers and applause ] so we have fantastic guests for you. but before we get to that, president trump has ordered the pentagon to plan a military parade while his administration
takes a harsher stance on immigration and insults dreamers. for more on this, it is time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: the gop tax plan will add $1.5 trillion to the deficit. and now republicans are talking about slashing safety net programs to make up for it. so, of course, president trump wants to throw a bunch of time and money at an active theater that nobody wants, a military parade. >> well, it looks as if president trump will get the military parade he wants in washington. >> president trump's vision of soldiers marching and tanks rolling down the boulevards of washington is moving closer to reality in the pentagon and white house. where officials say they have begun to plan a grand military parade. [ indiscernible ] >> i want a parade like the one in france, said a military official who spoke on condition of anonymity. because the planning discussions are supposed to remain confidential. this is being worked at the highest levels of the military. >> seth: that's right. trump wants a military parade. so you're just going full
dictator now. just dick wasn't enough. [ laughter ] and if you are worried a tank won't fit on pennsylvania avenue, don't worry. if it is anything like trump's last parade, there will be plenty of room. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] so a rogue state is developing nuclear weapons. russia is meddling in our elections. the pentagon just warned that climate change poses a threat to half of all military sites. and you have our top generals working on a parade. man, you had a chance to be in the military and you dodged it. if you want to hold a parade for something you yourself actively avoided, why not throw an irs parade or a parade of personal trainers? [ light laughter ] what's next? are you going to make the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff plan your prom? but be careful if you do, because if it goes by popular vote, you're not going to be happy with who they choose for king and queen. [ cheering and applause ] if it's popular vote. on top of the fact that it would be a waste of time and money, there's also the fact that the pentagon itself doesn't even
seem to want it. because trump also asked for a military parade for his inauguration and the pentagon didn't seem too psyched. a pentagon official wrote in an internal e-mail at the time that the trump team is seriously considering adding military vehicles to the inaugural parade. later, in response to an e-mail confirming that the trump team had abandoned its efforts, the official wrote, "great news." [ light laughter ] the pentagon reacts to trump the same way you react to a friend who cancels a dinner you didn't want to go to. [ light laughter ] "brad said he can't make it because he has a kidney stone." "oh, my god, that's great news." [ light laughter ] so where exactly would this parade happen? well, "the washington post" reported that the route would pass by a location close to trump's heart. or rather, his wallet. trump has said he would like it to proceed along pennsylvania avenue. it would be the same route as trump's inaugural parade and pass by his family showpiece, trump international hotel. i had always hoped if the military was surrounding trump hotel, there would be a general with a bull horn saying, "come out, mr. president. the game is up." [ laughter ] "i'm only a mexican maid. and i'm sorry to say, he is not here.
gracias, go away." [ laughter ] but while he's busy planning a military parade, trump is also supposed to be working out a deal with congress on immigration. now, trump claims he wants to strike a deal. but his plan calls for massive cuts to family-based immigration in return for protections for dreamers, young undocumented immigrants brought here as children. yesterday, trump insisted without evidence, that our immigration laws are much looser than other countries. and claimed that he could give specific examples of the countries he was referring to. >> the world is laughing at us because they can't believe these policies. they don't have it. i could name 15 of them right now. >> seth: no, you couldn't. [ laughter ] you couldn't name 15 countries period. [ laughter ] there's the u.s., canada, america, china, china-da, the usa, mexico, chinatown. [ laughter ] i want to say australia. but it turns out danny mcbride just made that up for a movie. it's not a real place. [ light laughter ]
in fact, even if you gave trump the name of a country, he couldn't say that country. like say namibia. >> nambia. [ laughter ] >> seth: tanzania. >> tan-zane-ia. [ laughter ] >> seth: or the united states. >> united shtates. [ laughter and applause ] now, republicans and democrats both say there's a deal to be made that would protect dreamers, while giving trump money for his wall. but trump wants more than that. his immigration framework calls for a massive restructuring of family-based immigration. although, trump doesn't call it family-based immigration. he opts, as usual, for a much more offensive term. >> we must replace our current system of extended family chain migration with a merit-based system. legislation that would end chain migration and switch our country to a merit-based immigration system. it has to be a bill to end chain migration. >> seth: stop calling it chain
migration. you're talking about families. don't make it sound like there's a new applebee's too close to the old applebee's. [ light laughter ] chain migration is an insulting way to refer to families staying together. when you hang around with your family, no one calls it chain mutation. [ laughter ] look at them, they look like the three middle figures from the evolution of man. [ laughter ] trump has proposed a radical shift that would cut legal immigration by 44% annually, which democrats and even many republicans oppose. now, it won't surprise you to learn that trump has no idea how our current immigration laws actually work. but apparently, neither does his staff. his director of legislative affairs marc short was on "face the nation" recently, and tried to justify trump's use of the phrase chain migration by saying this. >> what's happening right now, in our visa system, is you're providing visas for aunts and uncles and siblings. and continue to go on. hence it's called, chain migration. >> seth: sounds good. there's just one problem. aunts and uncles can't be sponsored for family-based green cards under current law. oh my god, do you guys have any idea what you're doing over
there? i bet the white house is like a cvs after midnight. [ laughter ] "excuse me, where's the toothpaste?" "uh-uh." [ laughter ] "how about the deodorant?" "uhh." [ laughter ] "do you want me to leave?" "uhh." [ light laughter ] and on top of that, there are already limits on the number of visas issued per year per family category. for some relatives, the wait period for a visa is over 13 years. but even longer for some countries with heavy demand. siblings in the philippines would have to wait at least 23 years for a visa. and mexican siblings, at least 20 years. 20 years! can you imagine what would happen to a child who was unsupervised for 20 years? oh, right, right, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] right, yep. now, in return for those massive cuts to legal immigration, trump has proposed protecting about 1.8 million dreamers. including some who did not originally sign up for the daca program. now, many of them might not have signed up because of fear, cost, or because they weren't sure if they were eligible.
but on tuesday, trump's chief of staff john kelly offered a different, more insulting explanation. >> there are 690,000 official daca registrants. and the president sent over what amounts to be two and a half times that number, to 1.8 million. the difference between 690,000 and 1.8 million were the people that some would say, were too afraid to sign up. others would say were too lazy to get off their asses, but they didn't sign up. >> seth: they were too lazy? you work for a guy who watches eight hours of tv a day, tweets until noon, eats cheeseburgers in bed, can't read a piece of paper unless it has pictures with his name on it, won't walk down a flight of stairs, and his preferred mode of transportation is a golf cart. [ laughter ] trump is so lazy, i wouldn't be surprised if he had one of those grabbers so he could reach his diet coke without getting off the couch. [ laughter and applause ] now trump keeps pretending he wants merit-based immigration. when he's made clear, many times, what he really wants, an immigration system that takes in more white people from countries
like norway, and fewer people from what he infamously called [ bleep ] hole counties like those in africa. obviously, those comments have prompted accusations of racism. don't worry, trump's son, don jr., came charging to his defense this week, claiming his father can't be a racist because he knows rappers. >> it's been terrible to watch 'cause i know him. i've seen him my whole life. i've seen the things he's done. you know, it's amazing. all of the rappers, all the this, all his african-american friends, from jesse jackson to al sharpton. you know, i have pictures with them. we say hi, i was good friends. you know, it was only until he got into politics that all of a sudden, oh, he's the most terrible human being in the world. >> seth: if someone mentions black people and the first thing you think of is rappers, you're probably racist. [ laughter and applause ] that's like saying women -- women, sure, i know lots of secretaries. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] but that's right, trump can't be a racist, because he knows rappers. he even has a rap name. [ light laughter ] so you got a white house that's splitting its time between planning military parades, lying about immigration, and insulting
dreamers. and yet, according to polls, republicans seem more enthusiastic about trump than ever. a new poll this week found that while trump's overall approval rating is just 40%, his approval rating among republicans has soared to 90%. and that illustrates a key point about our current politics, which is, that donald trump is very much, the president republicans want. he's not an outlier. he's the culmination of the modern gop. trump is massively and historically unpopular in general. but among republicans, he's exactly what they want in a president of -- >> the united shtates. [ light laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with john mulaney, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks" be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. it's time for the 'sleep number spring clearance event'. the dual adjustability of the sleep number bed allows each of you to adjust to your ideal level of firmness, comfort and support... your sleep number setting... for your best. sleep. ever.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheering and applause ] also back with us tonight on drums, he's a founding member of the new york city post hardcore legends "quicksand", whose new album "interiors" is out now. alan cage is here, everybody. give it up for alan. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is an emmy award winning writer and comedian, who's performing seven sold-out shows next week at radio city music hall as part of his "kid gorgeous" standup tour. he is also returning to co-host the film "film independent spirit awards" alongside
nick kroll march 3rd on ifc. please welcome back to the show, our very good friend, john mulaney, everyone. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how are you? >> how are you? nice to see you. >> seth: it's wonderful to see you as well. i'm very excited. i'm going to see you at radio city. i want to get to that. but i'm very excited that you and nick kroll are hosting "the film independent spirit awards" again. >> yes. >> seth: on ifc. >> that is a wonderful evening that is every year "the film independent spirit awards" on ifc. we hosted it last year. and they're having us back. >> seth: it was so good last year. and you were -- i should say, you were kind enough to not only are you hosting that, you were kind enough to help write jokes for "the golden globes" when i hosted. thank you so much for doing that. >> you did an excellent job hosting "the golden globes." >> seth: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] i could not have done it without your help. >> that was so genuinely cool.
that was such a -- such a -- not being hyperbolic, truly an important night that went beautifully. and you were the host of it. >> seth: thank you. >> it was very cool to watch. >> seth: that -- it's been -- it was very nice to have your help. and i wanted to make sure -- >> was it fun right before it? >> seth: no. [ laughter ] well, we -- you have said that -- i mean, because we've worked on things. and we've hosted things. the thing that you think would be the most fun to host would be the rock and roll hall of fame induction. >> yes. that is the only truly fun award show. >> seth: yeah. >> i don't know if you all watched the hbo rock and roll hall of fame induction annually. no? okay. absolutely no one. [ laughter ] it happens every year -- or does it? i'm not sure. [ light laughter ] if it didn't, no one would notice. they induct about like half a dozen ungrateful bands, into an association no one ever asked for in cleveland. and if i could describe it, the rock and roll hall of fame induction ceremony, think of it like a wedding if every speech was given by the bride's ex-boyfriend.
[ laughter ] like, every band comes in with some old grievance. and all of their speeches are just filled with bile from, like, 30 years before, about like equipment vans or something. and like "the golden globes", "the oscars", "the oscars" had a big weird thing happen last year. that's one glitch. that's on a night where each winner does not know until the moment the envelope opens, that they've won. then they have to go give a speech in front of 10 million people. that should have millions of glitches. the rock and roll hall of fame induction bands know for months that they're going to be inducted. and that they have to give a speech. they blow it every year. [ laughter ] they all get up there. they don't know how to stand. they've been standing on stage for 20 years. and they're just like side to the podium like, "yeah, uh, i guess, you know." [ laughter ] "look, if you're going to have a hall of fame which we think is bs," they always undercut the night right away. and we're like, "we don't want this. this was for you." [ light laughter ] they have that energy of like,
you know, in a movie when someone's like, "i had a speech. but you know what? i'm going to speak from the heart." except there's no paper and no original speech. they're just like, "i didn't know for months what i was going to say. but i just thought of something. i should have gotten $400 more for the toledo date. [ laughter ] and i'm really mad." and they're dressed like john varvatos pirates. [ light laughter ] that little steven luck, you know? >> seth: yeah. >> you know what i like about little steven? is when he pulls out reading glasses. like, have you noticed how like, older rockers now have to pull out like walgreens cheaters to read their speech? [ laughter ] they are like, "it is my honor to induct the zombies into the rock and roll." [ laughter ] it looks like a pirate hall of fame. except pirate hall of fame would be probably the most fun night ever. and the pirates would be super grateful. >> seth: yeah. >> none of these people are. >> seth: are you excited about radio city? are you excited to play the hallowed stage of radio city? >> i'm so nervous. but i'm very excited. >> seth: great. >> i've barely been in there
before. and it's like, radio city it's like classic -- >> seth: yeah. >> old fashioned-y thing. >> seth: there's something very old fashioned about your tour poster, kid gorgeous. this is an excellent photo. >> thank you. >> seth: an excellent look. >> there were ones that were funny. and i picked one where i thought i looked good. [ laughter ] and that's embarrassing. but that's what happened. >> seth: there's a sinatra vibe to this. you saw sinatra when you were 11-years-old? >> yes, i did. >> seth: and this was -- >> it was my birthday present. my dad took me to see frank sinatra. because i was a big frank sinatra fan. >> seth: yeah, most 11-year-olds get taken to sinatra. but you -- [ light laughter ] >> i don't even know if they do. >> seth: yeah. >> not in 1993. >> seth: yeah, that's true. >> was it like, "we're all going to sinatra and you're going to like it?" no one was going. and -- >> seth: where'd you see him? >> at the aurora riverboat casino in aurora, illinois which was -- they basically tied a boat far enough away by rope that it -- you could have legal gambling in the state of illinois. [ laughter ]
but you know the length of the roast on the chain in "jaws?" >> seth: yeah. >> those idiots with the roast. that's how far away the gambling boat was. but you could gamble. and it was a casino. and it's gone now. it didn't work. it was illegal. [ laughter ] but -- i was a huge frank sinatra fan from like, you know, nine, ten, eleven. you know how kids are. [ laughter ] and -- the coolest thing my dad ever did, for my 11th birthday he took me to see frank sinatra. it was awesome. i was the youngest person there by about -- i don't want to be silly, but about 110 years. [ laughter ] frank sinatra walks out as, you know, he does. they go, "ladies and gentlemen francis albert sinatra." and people start clapping at francis. you know? they know who it is. >> seth: yeah. >> so then he comes out and he introduces the orchestra. and he goes, "this is my son frank jr., conducting the band. i gave him a job so he wouldn't sit around the house smoking dope." [ laughter ] and my dad went, "ugh." [ laughter ]
and it was like, you know, it is a solid concert. it was about 54 minutes. and it was awesome. it was great. >> seth: that's great. >> i liked all of that back then though. >> seth: this is amazing. i did not -- and i know you, and i did not know this about you. the congressman, seth moulton is coming out next. >> yes. >> seth: he's the congressman in massachusetts sixth congressional district i believe. >> the sixth congressional district. yes. >> seth: and we were texting because you said, "i can't believe he's on." because your great-grandfather was the congressman in that district. >> yes, and my great-uncle, after him. >> seth: this is the bates'. >> yes. >> seth: and these are photos of your -- >> that's my great-grandfather so my grandmother's -- my nana's dad. >> seth: uh-huh. >> george bates. and that's her brother william a.k.a. bill bates. >> seth: which is -- >> so they served, and i'm sorry if i'm going to get it wrong, from i think the mid' 40s until 1967. >> seth: that's crazy. so a crazy coincidence. but then you reached out to your nana today. >> oh, yes. >> seth: i'm a big fan of your nana. >> yes.
you have a marblehead connection. >> seth: yes, your nana and my mother are from the same town in massachusetts. >> yes, we've been through this before. but they were in the same charity musical review. >> seth: yes. >> called -- >> seth: so there's a lot of coincidences. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> seth: but you -- you reached out to your nana to see if there's anything you wanted me to address to the congressman when he comes out next. >> yes, she had a few things. >> seth: okay, great. >> let me see. what did she tell me to tell you? be careful with his license plate. her dad had a special license plate that everyone in the town of salem, massachusetts -- yes, that one. >> seth: uh-huh. >> knew because he was the congressman. and she once went to get pizza when it was new. this is a long time ago. [ laughter ] pizza was new to boston area, and you could only get it at a bar. so she wanted the try pizza. so she parked the car, the congressman's car -- >> seth: yeah. >> outside of a bar and it was a real scandal. >> seth: oh, wow. >> yeah, back then that's what a scandal was. [ laughter ] it was a young woman wanted pizza.
and she also -- she said, "well, i know he just got married. but seth doesn't need to bring that up. because he knows that." >> seth: okay. >> so you don't need to tell him that he's married. >> seth: okay. >> she said, "he should know that his district was the first to be gary-mandered." and i said -- yeah, i know. yeah, yeah, yeah. i'm with all of you. [ laughter ] i said, "gerry --" "no, gary-mandered is how it should be pronounced. eldridge gary was --" and i'm telling you, but i'm also just quoting her the whole time. so please don't think i'm just telling you this fact. "he was the first governor of massachusetts. and he was vice president under james madison. and i hear that james madison's wife did not like him." [ laughter ] so that's town gossip still. and someone saw that the districts had been carved into a strange way. and they said, "that looks like a salamander." and someone else said, "no, it's a gary-mander.
because elbridge gerry had done it." >> seth: wow. >> i said, "you know everyone, and i mean everyone, says gerrymander." she said, "everyone is wrong." [ laughter ] >> seth: well, once again -- >> once again -- >> seth: your nana -- >> nana a million, you zero. [ applause ] >> seth: yeah. nana brings the fact. >> she also then said -- i was talking to her on the phone today about it, you know, just getting the details. she goes, "when are you rehearsing this?" i said, "well, it is 4:00 now. and i'll be there in a few hours. so we're never going to rehearse this." [ laughter ] she said, "you just go on television with this?" i said, "yeah, yeah, you okay with that?" she goes, "oh, i'm fine with it." [ laughter ] and yes, she was very, very excited. >> seth: well i'm very excited to ask him all about this. >> now -- sorry, real quick. her brother and father were republican congressmen. >> seth: yeah. >> this seat has gone back and forth, republican and democrat. my grandmother with republican family, has grown up republican. i'm making far more efforts to explain it to all of you than she ever would.
[ laughter ] she would go, "i'm a republican." [ laughter ] and that would be the end of it. so she said, "i like him so much. i wish he'd come over to our side. and i'm here to welcome him." [ laughter ] but then she said, "'you know, i asked my father once, 'cause all of the other irish catholics, the kennedy's, everyone, they were all democrats.' i said, 'why aren't we democrats? they seem to have more fun.' and he said, 'they do have more fun. but legislation is not about having fun. it's serious business.'" >> seth: truer words. >> that was the end of the call, yeah. >> seth: very good. thank you so much for being here. it's always a pleasure. >> my pleasure. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: can't wait for your shows. can't wait for the film spirit awards. john mulaney. independent spirit awards march 3rd on ifc. we'll be right back with congressman seth moulton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ you are many different things in one amazing package, and t.j.maxx gives you the freedom to express every one.
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♪ triumphant music follow your dreams and before you die [fire blazes] make a squarespace website. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a decorated veteran who serves massachusetts' sixth district as a united states congressman. please welcome to the show congressman seth moulton, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> seth: welcome to the show. i really appreciate you being here. >> it's great to be here, seth. thanks for having me. >> seth: can you speak to this gerrymander versus gary-mander? >> sadly, that is something we discuss. >> seth: okay, so -- >> it was the original gerrymander district, but his name is "gary." >> seth: it is gary. so you're going to back up mulaney's nana on this? >> yeah, not only that but i mean, my dad grew up in the district. my parents started dating there in the 1960s, and you know who the first congressman that my parents met was? >> seth: who was that? >> it was me. >> seth: oh, wow. [ laughter ] >> not a very political family. not a very political family. >> seth: so, you served with distinction, won a couple of medals for your service, but you also were a local celebrity. you had a show, a television show in iraq called "moulton and mohammed." >> "moulton and mohammed" with my translator, mohammed. and -- i mean, we were celebrities. i mean, i used to get fan mail,
i used to have to sign autographs in the street. i mean, no one asks me for my autograph now as a member of congress. so, this is a total step down in terms of -- >> seth: and so here -- so here are you and your translator. that's mohammad over there. so what was the show? like what did you guys -- you were -- what was the goal of broadcasting in iraq to people who had obviously never had non-state controlled television? >> well, it was amazing because we actually believed in the marine corps that a free media was important to a democracy. sort of a crazy concept these days. >> seth: yeah. [ cheering and applause ]. >> but -- but the first thing we had to do is we just had to get something on tv, because all this tv station had ever done was play tapes from the ministry of information in baghdad. so the first thing we did was we got a dvd player, hooked it up to their transmitter, and these iraqis used to put in movies -- american movies, they would get from the market, and watch them for the first time while simultaneously broadcasting them to million of iraqis across the country. and the mistake we made is we forgot to explain the rating system. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> so what would happen is they'd get to a racy section of an american film, and they'd quickly hit eject.
they had this ten-volume set of islamic history videos that they would put in to sort of calm everybody down. [ laughter ] but one night they didn't switch quickly enough. the movie was "basic instinct." >> seth: oh, that's one you want to switch, yeah. >> and so the next day, there were protests, i mean men throwing rocks, women wailing in the streets. mohammed, my translator and i, just 'cause we were sort of in charge of the tv station, we got death threats. at the end of a very long day, i turned to mohammad, i said, "let's just go -- let's go get tea with the iraqi police. 'cause these are guys in their 20s and 30s, like surely they wouldn't be so offended by what was on tv last night. and it was a great cultural lesson for me, because i walked into this room full of young iraqi men, and they were immediately irate. they were yelling and screaming at me, and i turned to mohammed and i said, "mohammed, what are they saying?" and he said, "sir, they say every time you put a movie on tv, you turn it off right when we get to the good part." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so a lot -- a lot of
similarities with 20-year-olds here in the states as well. >> some things never change, yeah. >> seth: one of the things you are hoping to do is recruit a new generation of people in public service that come from the military. veterans can have great purpose here serving in office. what is it about veterans that you think is important for our political system? >> well look, i wouldn't be here if not for being a veteran. i mean, i didn't grow up interested in politics or anything like that. i was actually recruited by a non-profit trying to get veterans to run for office at a time when we've never had fewer veterans in congress in our nation's history than we do today. and when i decided to run, it was because the congressman in my home district, you know, congressman bates successor. >> seth: yeah. >> he managed to pass one bill in 18 years. he was incredibly partisan. and i was like, look, if no one is willing to stand up to him, then the system is never going to change. so the problem is, i was so naive about politics, i didn't know that you're not supposed to take on an 18-year incumbent in your own party.
and so the whole national democratic establishment was against me. they said, "you're going to lose." and by the way, you will never run for anything again in politics, because you don't challenge the establishment. and fundamentally, what they were saying to me as a veteran was, do not participate in the democracy you risked your life to defend. and that's wrong. >> seth: and have you -- so you had this interesting situation, which is now you're in this very partisan washington d.c., but kind of your first political battle was against your own party. do you feel like that puts you in a better situation to deal with all of these different -- >> look, the party establishment has gotten us into a terrible position right now. i mean, we don't control anything in washington, and so i think it's time for a new generation of democrats to step up and run. and the thing about veterans is they know how to challenge the establishment. they're not afraid to take on, you know, the people in control.
they're not afraid to put people over politics or over their political party, and i've got 19 unbelievable candidates that i've endorsed and encouraged to run and everything. people like mikie sherrill right down in new jersey who's taking on the chairman of the house appropriations committee. i mean this --the chairman of the house appropriations has more money flowing under his pen than any politician in the world, and she just scared him out of the race because she's such an incredible leader. she's a navy helicopter pilot. [ applause ] >> seth: that's really -- >> she's going to win. and i think that, you know, the problem right now is we've got to look ourselves in the mirror as democrats and recognize that, we've lost. like, you know, we stand for the right things, but we've lost a lot of elections, and unless we're willing to change, unless we're willing to make some difference, unless we're willing to stand up and talk about where we think we should take america, rather than just bashing the republicans let's talk about our vision for america. let's talk about how we're going to tackle the economy and national -- let's talk about what we're
going to do, not just what trump is doing wrong. >> seth: i think one of the thing that trump did obviously, is he had these very bold policy proposals in the 2016 election. now, whether or not any of them were rational, they were certainly bold. what are -- do you think in the next -- not only 2018, but 2020, what are the bold policy proposals that democrats need to take? >> look, one of the things we have to do is tackle the economy. and the reality is a lot of people in america are getting left out of the economy. and it's not because of what trump says, it's not because immigrants are taking jobs. it's because they're being automated out of existence. i mean, literally robots are taking jobs. so rather than take trump's strategy of let's go back into the coal mines and pretend it's 1955, let's actually embrace the new economy and talk about how everybody in america, no matter where you live, has a meaningful role to play in the economy of the future. let's talk about now we can actually expand healthcare access to everybody in america rather than quibble about how many people are going to lose healthcare. you know, let's talk about what a democratic vision of national defense is, where we build
alliances across the globe and promote peace, rather than try to start wars with north korea. i mean -- [ cheering and applause ] >> seth: i -- that all sounds very good to me. i hope -- that everybody else wants to hear that message as well. thank you so much for making the time to come here. >> hey, thank you, seth. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: thanks for taking care of massachusetts's 6th. congressman seth moulton, everybody. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you can't judge sugar looking at the cane, you can't judge a woman looking at her man. you can't judge a daughter by looking at the mother. you can't judge a book by looking at the cover. taking one look. try to read me like a book but i leave 'em all shook 'cuz you can't judge a book by its cover. you can't judge a book by looking at the cover [x2] get this weekend at kohl's! and take an extra 20% off!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night." we're here with matty matheson, chef and host of viceland's "it's suppertime!" [ cheers and applause ] >> what up? >> seth: how are you? >> well, how are you? >> seth: so you're going to make us a cheeseburger. let's get started. and while you're making it, tell me how long you've been doing it. and how you perfected it. >> oh, well i'm going to make a cheeseburger by first starting the meat grinder. >> seth: the meat grinder. [ cheers ] >> do you guys like meat grinders and burgers? so burgers, the most important thing. i've been making cheeseburgers for a minute. >> seth: yeah. >> i made a video like five years ago for vice. and then they started viceland. that's how i kind of got a show. but the most important thing -- who care about that stuff? vice is sick. whatever. [ light laughter ] so, but the thing you want to make sure is to grind your own beef. >> seth: okay. >> buying store-bought ground beef, you don't know when it was ground. you don't know where it came from. botulisms, you know?
>> seth: yeah. >> you cook it at a weird temperature. >> seth: great. >> nobody wants that. so we got to grind our own beef, everyone. get a meat grinder. >> seth: okay, meat grinder fairly affordable? a meat grinder? >> yeah! >> seth: great. [ laughter ] >> seven -- $500? >> seth: okay, great. >> maybe not. no, it's loud. >> seth: it's loud. >> so you just take beef which is like brisket or short -- >> seth: great. >> whatever, short rib. and a secret -- is it too loud? >> seth: no, it's great. >> okay. so -- >> seth: oh. >> okay, fresh beef. >> seth: fresh beef. >> and the best thing about grinding fresh beef -- oh, my god. okay. >> seth: all right, great. >> it's too loud. >> seth: that's fresh beef. >> who cares? okay. so that's too loud. [ light laughter ] but you want to make sure that your beef -- okay. it's kind of half frozen when you -- okay. >> seth: okay. >> when you grind it, because then it makes it easier to grind. >> seth: okay, great. >> so now we have a good ratio of fat and beef. >> seth: okay, that is a good ratio. i don't usually -- >> that's a good ratio. do you eat a lot of fat in beef? >> seth: no, i don't usually see a patty with that much fat in it. but i'm kind of super psyched about it. >> so then you just kind of
bounce it around in your hand. you form it into a patty. >> seth: uh-huh. >> but you want to make sure that you treat your burgers -- unlike meatballs, you don't stuff them with onions or worcestershire or ketchup or put any of that stuff in there. all you want to do is treat it like a steak, so salt and pepper. >> seth: okay. >> i'm not really season -- i'm kind of a wild dog here. >> seth: no, that's great. live your life. >> ah, just raw beef everywhere. >> seth: great. >> to make sure you have raw beef wherever. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's excellent. >> that's nice. >> seth: yeah, it's great to have raw beef around. >> it's fine. we're going to wash your hands later. >> seth: we're going to do it later. nothing on this. >> nothing. >> seth: it's just a hot cast iron. >> hot cast iron, because there is enough beef fat. >> seth: right. >> in here that it's going to render out. >> seth: okay. >> and that's another thing. if you put a bunch of oil in there, then it's going to get greasy. >> seth: uh-huh. >> as we're doing this -- so the big thing, we got beef, we have cheese, we have condiment. we need buns. so can you butter buns? >> seth: yep. >> seth likes to butter buns. >> seth: hey. [ laughter ] >> we're going to watch him butter some buns. >> seth: i told you that in confidence. >> we got two minutes. let's keep going. >> seth: so just go like that? >> yeah, go like that and put it in the pan. >> seth: okay, great. >> and we're going to make, almost like -- >> seth: what kind of buns are
we making? what kind of buns are these? >> they are milk buns. so milk buns are really great. they turn into almost like doughnuts. they get warm. they get smushy. nice -- it's like a beef doughnut. have you had a beef doughnut? >> seth: i haven't had a beef doughnut. i didn't know they exist. they exist? >> oh, my god. we're making one right now, seth. >> seth: really? [ laughter ] what are you doing there? >> i'm making condiment. >> seth: yeah i know. but why -- >> like special sauce. so we just make all the sauces. >> seth: okay. >> ketchup. >> seth: so the special sauce is just the main three sauces? >> mayonnaise. yeah. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] >> you take the -- the three greatest condiments, make it into one condiment. >> seth: okay, great. >> and then the thing i want you to do -- move your cards. >> seth: okay, great. [ laughter ] >> so then we got pickles. put pickles in there. so we want crunch. we want -- add a little more pickles. >> seth: great. >> so nice. >> seth: great. >> now cut a onion. >> seth: great. >> we've got to put cheese on this burger. we are moving along. i want to flip this around. and look at all the fat coming off of that. >> seth: do i dice it more or is this a good cut? >> yeah, dice it. >> seth: okay, great. so your show on vice, "it's suppertime!" do you like doing your show? >> i love doing my show. my show's like you, you do your show. i do my show. it's very nice. >> seth: yep. >> it's a good show. i want to steam the cheese. >> seth: steam the cheese? >> yeah.
just a little bit of water, steaming. >> seth: okay, is that enough onion for the sauce? >> that's enough. add it to the condiment. >> seth: i'm going to, the condiment. [ laughter ] and now, am i going to stir it? >> yeah, give it a stir. >> seth: okay, great. >> we're steaming the cheese so it's really nice. >> seth: oh, i'm so excited about this! >> oh, a cheeseburger is a nice time for everyone. >> seth: i'm a little concerned about the fact that you're only making one burger. i hope you know i'm going to eat it. >> well, you can have a bite. you can have a bite. >> seth: a bite? >> so put your condiment on both sides so we have three components. we have a beef, we got the cheese is really important. good beef, [ bleep ] cheese. can you say [ bleep ]? >> seth: great. >> condiment on the bottom. steam cheeseburger. oh, my goodness. don't eat this 'cause it's raw. [ laughter ] wow, okay. >> seth: is it too raw? can i eat it? >> you can -- yeah, we just grounded it. it's fresh. [ laughter ] maybe eat -- yeah, take a bite. >> seth: maybe wait. >> you can eat that one. we're fine. i'll eat some ground beef. >> seth: hold on, i want to see how raw it is. [ audience oohs ] oh, it's too raw. >> no. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's too raw. that's too raw. >> okay. too raw. he got one. that's how you make cheeseburgers! [ cheering and applause ]
>> seth: matty matheson, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] "it's suppertime!" premieres february 13th on viceland. we'll be right back. >> viceland! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ evacuations are underway as a meteor heads toward the metro area. go, go, go, go, go! we can fit more! there's still more room! we gotta go. juicer! we don't have a juicer! the volkswagen tiguan. it fits everything you need, and everything you don't. if yoyou have a beard.our face, oooohhh... if you add layers to a beard, you're a werewolf. yes please. if your face needs layers, so does your chocolate bar.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to john mulaney, congressman seth moulton, matty matheson, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] alan cage and the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: hey there, everybody. it's carson daly, good to have you along. tonight, it is "last call" coming to you from the time new york hotel. coming up, good show for you. "a.p. bio" creator mike o'brien