tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC June 12, 2019 11:34pm-12:38am PDT
>> incredible. moving family to cleveland next month, first female coach to go to nba directly from college ranks. >> that's huge. >> really cool. >> serious game. >> serious game and hats off to the cavaliers for that decision. thursday morning, almost the weekend. >> much better, 50s and 60s across the bay area instead of the upper 90s. good news for the dads. going to get hotter next week, let's not worry about it right now. quick look at san francisco, 60, yes, thank you. >> perfect. thanks for joining us here at 11:00, see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> steve: from 30 rockefeller plaza here in new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." and now here's your host jimmy fallon
[ cheers and applause ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: hi hi, everybody. welcome! thank you, thank you, roots. everyone, please have a seat welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. thank you so much for being here it's a good show tonight great show tonight chris hemsworth is here. >> steve: yeah [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: the jonas brothers are here [ cheers and applause i love those guys. i love chris hemsworth, too. when i talk to him, it's like i'm looking in a mirror. >> steve: really [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah you guys, everybody is excited about the world cup and the u.s. womens' national soccer team did you see that [ cheers and applause that game was amazing. they beat thailand 13-0. [ cheers ] people in thailand were like,
"how could you do this after we made your uniforms?" you know [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] you gotta feel for thailand, though it's a tough way to start the tournament it's the worst thing to happen to a thai soccer team that didn't involve getting trapped in a cave. [ audience ohs ] guys, millions of people tuned in to watch the womens' team and down in miami, a bar offered a special promotion to get people to come watch the game with them but in hindsight, i'm not sure it was such a good idea. watch this >> american social, that's the name of the bar, offered free shots for every usa goal [ audience ohs ] oopsies. >> jimmy: 13 goals oh, my gosh. then the thailand goalie -- thailand's goalie is like, "what's the big deal i did a shot after every goal, too. forget thailand. the real loser yesterday was every uber driver in miami i mean, please [ laughter ] let's get to some political news today, everybody is talking about a new national poll that just came out that shows how president trump would do against all the top democrats. take a look at this. yeah, trump's behind everybody
actually, i just heard right now he's even losing to the thailand women's soccer team >> steve: really [ cheers and applause really >> jimmy: unbelievable but it's true. everybody is already talking about these polls and as we all know from the past, polls do a a great job predicting what really happens >> clinton is leading donald trump nationally by nine points 52-43. >> jimmy: yeah so if you want to know how much these polls matter, just ask president hillary clinton. [ laughter ] so you'll see. yeah [ applause ] these polls matter well meantime, out in the campaign trail, joe biden and trump have been trading insults all week trump's been saying that biden is too old to be president well, reporters asked biden about his age and stamina. check out how he responded >> there's been a lot of questions about your schedules and that it's been a little lighter than some of the other candidates >> look at him and look at me and answer the question [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: a biden staffer was like, "okay, whose turn is it to remind him about personal space? okay [ laughter and applause your turn? my turn? can we hear biden's voice again?
>> look at him and look at me, and answer the question. >> jimmy: is he trying to become president or batman [ laughter ] "i'm biden i'm biden. well, between now and the election, there is still a lot to keep the president busy today, i saw that trump met with the president of poland in the oval office. and trump talked about his speech that he gave last time went to poland take a look. >> i could say it, but i don't want to say it but some people said it was the best speech ever made by a a president in europe. but i did not say that i'm just quoting other people. [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, god. >> jimmy: oh, goodness "now, look, you know me, i would never brag about myself. i'm just a very successful, long fingered billionaire. [ laughter and applause but in that meeting, trump said that he's sending more troops to poland. and get this, the polish president actually said that they should call the u.s. base fort trump but trump said no, because that is the name of the blankets stretched across between two couches in the oval office [ laughter ] i saw that trump's also been talking with france lately french president emmanuel macron sent him a new
friendship tree after the one that they planted together died [ laughter ] for this tree, macron also sent a note that said, "don't water it with diet coke. [ laughter and applause we have a great show tonight give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. hey, i don't know if you guys saw what jon stewart did yesterday. but if you didn't, do yourself a favor and go online and watch it it was pretty powerful he testified in front of the house judiciary committee on behalf of 9/11 first responders and he really did his good job, because it worked. today the committee unanimously voted to fund aid for victims of 9/11. [ cheers and applause amazing. so as a new yorker who was here on 9/11, i just want to say thank you to all the first responders and thank you to jon stewart. we know jon. you've known jon forever >> steve: 30 years, yeah
>> jimmy: he is always just a very charitable guy and always just fights for what he believes in. he's just a great, legit great guy. and i think this is something that jon's going to be remembered for for a very long time so thank you once again. [ cheers and applause we have a great show tonight chris hemsworth is here! >> steve: yeah [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: the jonas brothers are here [ cheers and applause oh >> steve: wow! >> jimmy: we're doing something fun. it's going to be a good show >> steve: oh >> jimmy: but first, you guys ever see a photo in the news and think, well that headline could be much better well, i'll show you what i mean it's time for "news and improved." here we go [ cheers and applause ♪ news and improved >> jimmy: for example, check out this first photo the original headline was "trump meets with the queen. headline could definitely be improved, 'cause if you only looked at the photo, the headline could have been, "dude next to you on flight isn't going to make this hangover any easier." [ laughter and applause
"i didn't say it other people said that." >> steve: "best speech." >> jimmy: check out this next photo. the original headline was, "buttigieg ramps up campaign." but if you only looked at the photo, the headline could have been, "guy about to call 'uno' gets dealt the draw four card. ah [ applause ] ah next headline says, "new 'pokemon' game announced." headline could have been, "annoying co-worker's new standing desk just a little too much." [ laughter and applause "it's better for my lower back." okay the next headline was, "rafael nadal wins 12th french open." headline could have been, "guy watching netflix on phone for past two hours realizes he's using 4g and not wifi. [ laughter and applause yeah next headline was, "trump golfs with japanese prime minister." headline could have been, "synchronized walking once again fails to be recognized by olympics." [ laughter and applause it's a great event >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: my favorite event. >> steve: best that you have >> jimmy: next headline was, "keanu reeves to star in new video game."
[ cheers ] headline could have been, "retiring high school principal blows $12 grand on final epic assembly." [ laughter and applause ♪ and finally this headline was, "indy 500 winner celebrates victory. the headline could have been, "man accidentally rubs eyes after cutting jalapenos. that's all the time we have for "news and improved." we'll be right back with chris hemsworth, everybody come on back [ cheers and applause ♪ wherever you are...
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: wow! you are -- >> aw, thank you [ cheers ] thanks so much isn't that lovely. >> jimmy: you are well liked, my friend. >> thank you that's -- and that would be good everyday. i love that. makes me feel really good about myself >> thank you so much for coming back to the show i want to say congratulations on everything. but "avengers: endgame" shattered all these records and oh my gosh made billions of dollars and everyone credits fat thor. [ laughter ] >> that's right. i got an email from kevin smith. and he said, you know, "over weight middle age white man are very happy for that new super hero [ laughter ] so i was like, "cool happy to help." >> jimmy: but it's funny though that it's such a secretive movie, and then the movie comes out and makes $8 billion >> yeah. >> jimmy: and then all of a sudden, all these videos and iphones videos of you guys on set start leaking out ayou're like, "oops.
i guess -- >> any time you get on your phone, you'd be like, "who's watching? you know and then -- the policy "no cameras, no cameras, nothing. but every now and then you'd see someone who's like, "meh." >> jimmy: yeah, i know >> especially when it was all of the avengers in the same room it's like, "i'm not missing this opportunity." >> jimmy: yeah, right. but i asked you and i asked you a favor. if you had any contraband on your camera roll >> i did >> jimmy: if there's anything can you show us. >> i have a little something, right? and this is the world first. no one's seen this before. this is, um -- [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: i love it. and i love you thank you for doing this >> i didn't even know if i was ever going to show it, right 'cause it was, like, in the trailer, in between a few takes, and - but -- >> jimmy: it's great, though, 'cause it kind of fits - so you were getting in character? >> yeah, definitely. yeah >> jimmy: so you were -- >> method actors, they're called >> jimmy: you were depressed thor and you, like, had the guitar. and you go, "what would he be into?" >> yeah. >> jimmy: what would he -- >> what else but - >> jimmy: "hurt" by -- the johnny cash version of "hurt." >> johnny cash "hurt." >> jimmy: which is -
>> it's the saddest song in the world. >> jimmy: yeah, it really is >> yeah. >> jimmy: and so you started playing it and - >> yeah. and i'm a terrible singer and terrible guitarist but - [ laughter ] >> no, it's worth it here's the world premiere of fat thor johnny cash singing "hurt. check this out ♪ ♪ what have i becom my sweetest friend everyone i kno goes away in the end♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: that -- that's depressing, how sad. >> this takes me back. it takes me right back. >> oh, gosh. i love that so much. clearly -- >> i think it's dropping next week >> jimmy: yeah. i can't do what you do i saw you post a video of a bear crawl >> oh, it's like a bear crawl with weights and stuff >> jimmy: that made me tired
watching that. >> did it? >> jimmy: yeah, but it's amazing, because it's huge >> i'm not trying to -- >> jimmy: i mean, i -- let's take a quick look at chris doing bear crawls. [ cheers and applause >> i don't know about that angle, though. it's like, yeah. it's the glutes shot, that one. >> jimmy: but, i mean, that video right there inspired so many people to start doing those bear crawls and getting into shape including one of the most funniest humans on the face of the eah. most talented jack black >> yeah. >> jimmy: and he posted his own video. i don't know if you've seen this >> i didn't see it >> jimmy: yeah, take a look. here's jack black doing christmas bear crawls. [ laughter ] >> thor's mighty hammer. ♪ ♪ that's how we do it.
down under pcpc >> jimmy: down under. >> down under. >> jimmy: that's how we do it down under >> i love the shirt tucked into the tracker pants. >> jimmy: he's one of the funniest dudes ever. let's talk about "men in black. >> yeah. >> jimmy: "international." dude, i loved it so much and i watched it with my kids. which i don't know if it is if for kids, but they loved it. >> no, it is, yeah >> jimmy: the aliens are actually -- especially the first one, it's so cute. >> oh, it's amazing. i mean, i think i was 14 when the first one came out and just been swept up in the unique blend of this sort of police thriller comedy with sci-fi and it's sort of an introduction to will smith as, you know, world's biggest movie star and just -- at that time i remember thinking -- and not consciously thinking i wanted to be an actor but i wanted to inhabit those worlds and that -- the universe that those guys were creating and - >> jimmy: really, will smith >> yeah, he was one of my biggest heroes still is >> jimmy: does he know that? have you ever told him that? have you ever met him? >> i met him at the mtv awards i was like, "oh, what's up,
man? you doing movies too. cool, yeah." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah fanboy out i was like, "what? >> continue the franchise. >> jimmy: he's a good -- i mean, he's one of the first giant -- be going "oh, wow, this is international" which is where they have the names against the title. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you, tessa thompson. it takes it on a whole new level. it's funny >> yeah. >> jimmy: like you said. but it's also -- >> it wasn't rebooting or remaking it was about continuing on and what those guys have done so beautifully him and tommy lee. and we're expanding it onto a global stage and so we got out of new york. and we shot some in new york we went to london, paris, marikesh, sahara desert, all over the place italy, and so it has a more global feel. and it's kind of -- just trying to ratchet the thing up. >> jimmy: we have a clip from "men in black international. let's take a look at this. >> let's talk business, shall we >> i have a very strict no men in black policy. >> i don't blame you all it takes is one bad apple.
♪ [ grunts ] [ yelling ] >> i am mib you correlian scum and fyi, your little club here sucks. >> jimmy: yeah [ cheers and applause chris hemsworth "men in black: international" opens on friday after the break, we're going to play true confessions with chris. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ here are even more reasons to join t-mobile. 1. do you like netflix? sure you do. that's why it's on us. 2. unlimited data. use as much as you want, when you want. 3. no surprises on your bill. taxes and fees included. still think you have a better deal?
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[ cheers and applause chris and i are about to play a game of deception called "true confessions. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: we're going to need one more player to fill out this table he co-stars with chris in "men in black: international," and his new movie, "stuber," comes out on july 12th give it up for kumail nanjiani ♪ [ cheers and applause >> hi. >> just three men with beards hanging around a table three equally handsome men >> jimmy: thank you. >> we're all exactly the same. >> jimmy: attractive people. here's how this works. in front of us are two envelopes containing confessions. one confession is true, the other is a lie once you read your confession, the other two players have 45 seconds to interrogate you. they have to guess if you've been lying or telling the truth. chris, you will go first
which envelope should he open? >> let's go with one >> jimmy: what is your story, okay >> my first job was cleaning out breast pumps [ laughter ] >> jimmy: for your first -- that was your first job? >> first job, yeah >> how old were you? >> i was 14 at the time. >> and was it just cleaning out breast pumps or was there other aspects to the job >> it was repairing them as well, occasionally >> you repaired breast pumps at 14? [ laughter ] >> like -- any pump, there's -- a motor with -- a belt, like a a rubber belt, for the suction, and -- >> jimmy: i wasn't sure, human breasts or animal breasts? >> yeah no like -- you'd have -- like, pharmacies would rent them out. >> they'd rent them out? because you don't need them forever, right >> no. so they'd come back covered in dry milk so i'd have a toothbrush - [ buzzer ] i'd clean the dry milk off
>> dry milk? i did not think i'd hear the phrase dry milk today. [ laughter ] >> that was it, that's all we get to ask >> jimmy: 45 seconds, we did it >> i think it's real >> jimmy: you think his first job was cleaning out - >> if not, he's a psychopath [ laughter ] -- if he made that up. >> jimmy: were you saying, like, where he grew up, his dad had animals and stuff around, so i'm thinking maybe -- >> but it's human breast milk. >> jimmy: but i think it's inspired by what he used to do with animals >> that's very smart >> jimmy: and then change it to a lie. >> you're good at this he took almost the truth and changed it slightly to a lie >> jimmy: i'm going to say, you lie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you lie? >> i'll say lie, too >> it was the truth. >> i said it was the truth [ laughter and applause ♪ >> jimmy: where were you where was it >> it was like fisher and paykel, it's -- a company that makes fridges, and ovens, and breast pumps and i literally worked for a a pharmacy they would rent them out
the machines would come back and i would have a toothbrush, a little spray and wipe. and dried milk -- covered in them >> one question. >> yep >> do the women who used these breast pumps now know that chris hemsworth once cleaned their breast pumps [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's my turn here we go >> and can you buy them on ebay >> jimmy: you can't buy them on ebay >> jimmy: which one? which envelope should i open >> well, which one - >> that's probably one for me. let's go two for you >> jimmy: are you going to go into the breast pump business? dolph lundgren once saved me from a bunch of coyotes. >> i mean, it's so ridiculous that i'd say no but which means it's probably yes. >> yeah, okay. how long ago did this happen >> jimmy: i'd say, early 2000s 2002 it was before i was on "saturday night live." >> how many coyotes? >> jimmy: i don't really know, but it was definitely at least one scurrying. >> so how did he save you? what did he do, wrestle them >> you're saying dolph lundgren saved you from a group of coyote
>> jimmy: yes, one no, not coyote -- coyotes. i think there was more than one. i was leaving a party, and i heard things scurrying >> what did he do? >> he said, "jimmy get in my car. [ laughter ] hey jimmy, quick, get in my car or something like that there's coyotes are coming >> so he knew who you were >> jimmy: yeah >> so you guys were hanging out or just -- [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: no, i didn't know he was there at all ♪ >> it seems true >> it seems true i didn't want it to be >> actually, hang on woah [ light laughter ] you're lying >> jimmy: no, why would i do that, though >> i feel like it's true, because he wasn't sure on the year and he's like trying to make us think that he's lying but it's really the truth. he said, let's say 2002. >> i looked deep within his soul deep within -- yeah, you're lying to me. >> jimmy: you're right, it's a a lie. [ cheers and applause ♪
how cool would that be for a second, did you think? >> yeah, for a second i did, and then i looked at you we played another game where it's like -- don't laugh that game. and there's something there that happened. [ talking over each other >> okay, all right, here we go >> jimmy: i'm going to say -- what do we just go with, number two? what do you think, chris >> this is great, we're just hanging out, three guys -- >> jimmy: three dudes. yeah, don't worry about it [ talking over each other just fun number one >> here we go. >> jimmy: all right, already you're lying >> i once tried to murder someone in singapore [ laughter ] >> hang on, intentions like, as in - >> jimmy: this is going to air on television, you know. [ laughter ] >> i didn't say i was successful >> jimmy: what year was this >> i was maybe around 10 or 12 years old >> when you say murder, that wasn't self-defense. that's you like out to get someone intentionally. >> i was the aggressor >> jimmy: you didn't like this person >> no, i liked this person, i loved her. >> why did you want to murder them
>> i don't know. >> jimmy: wow. >> what do you mean, you don't know >> jimmy: how did you try to murder her >> strangulation, pretty standard [ laughter ] >> just because, or no reason at all >> so i was sleepwalking, and as a kid, i wasn't allowed to watch horror movies and this person showed me a horror movie. [ buzzer ] ♪ >> whoa, whoa. >> jimmy: i want more than 45 -- i want weeks with you. [ laughter ] >> something happened at the end there, because all of a sudden it was, oh, i did it on purpose and then you said you were sleepwalking >> jimmy: that's very interesting. >> so, hang on >> jimmy: now he's smirking, almost thinking that we're both going to say he lied because now he's doing what i did. >> look at me. >> jimmy: the poker face he thinks he won [ laughter ] i'm going to say -- i think it's true. i'm going to say it's the truth. >> it's true >> that is correct [ laughter ] ♪
>> jimmy: i can never look at you in the same way. what are you talking about >> it was my aunt. [ laughter ] and i had little 10-year-old hands, i never had a shot. [ laughter ] but i wasn't allowed to watch horror movies as a kid and i was staying at her house and she was like, "it's fine, i'll show you one. what's the worst that could happen?" and then i tried to murder her [ laughter ] >> in your sleep though, in your sleep >> in my sleep and they woke me up and i don't remember any of it, but i remember being like -- things were weird at breakfast. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: gosh, i'm glad we got to the bottom of these things. thank you so much for playing. chris hemsworth. kumail nanjiani. [ cheers and applause check out "men in black: international," in theaters on friday the jonas brothers join us after the break. stick around [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: our next guests just released their first new album in a decade. beginning in august, you can catch them on the "happiness begins" tour [ cheers and applause and their new documentary "chasing happiness" is streaming now on amazon prime video. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the jonas brothers [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause
>> jimmy: electric electric crowd they love you. oh, my goodness. whoa >> yeah! >> jimmy: looking good >> yeah. >> jimmy: just take it in. just take it in right there. that's for you, man. [ cheers and applause i love that sound. jonas brothers are back. oh, my gosh, how excited - [ cheers ] "happiness begins. i'm so happy i love the new album >> thank you >> jimmy: congrats on the great reviews. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: and all the singles have been fantastic so far "happiness begins. very kind of personal album, as well i mean, some of the songs on here, you wrote, kevin, "come back." >> yeah, well, we wrote it together but that song specifically i think meant a lot for -- in many different ways. you know, i think from the -- from -- to the fans, but as well from traveling for the first time in a long time away
from my family and the girls like, that was a big deal, obviously. and so - >> jimmy: how old are your girls? >> they're 5 and 2 >> jimmy: they don't know you as a jonas brother >> they do now [ light laughter ] they got to come to their first show the other day, which was amazing. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: oh really? i have a very cute clip of your daughter - here is kevin's 5-year-old daughter be very excited about her dad as a jonas brother take a look at this. >> i'm alena and this is my dad. should i say it? >> mhmm. go ahead, you can say it >> this is one of the jonas brothers >> what? who let him in this house? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: who let him in this house? [ cheers and applause so cute. >> they're so proud. it's so awesome. and she did tell her entire school that, you know, the jonas brothers are coming back before the jonas brothers were >> jimmy: no >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: she spoiled everything >> we were tring to keep it a secret for basically a year.
we're making this documentary, making the album and we were like, "we got this is on lock no one is going to tell. kevin comes home and says, "guys, alena told her whole class. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she told the whole school, and it's out >> luckily those 5-year-olds, tight lipped >> yeah, they kept the secret for us >> jimmy: everyone's loving the new record but it's pretty funny. there is one person out there that is not a fan of - >> who >> jimmy: someone's getting apparently text messages >> oh. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: so explain what's happening right now. this is your fault >> i guess >> it's all your fault >> so, basically, i changed my number >> jimmy: yeah >> maybe seven, eight months ago. some people got my number. they were calling me all the time so finally i just changed it but i forgot to text a few people so when the album came out, my brothers and i were all in a a group text together. but it was the old number. so a few people that i had forgotten to text the new number to. so this person somewhere in the world is getting text messages congratulating them on a new album. >> from probably a lot of
numbers. >> a lot of people and the last one that we saw in one of these group texts was really hostile so you should probably show it >> jimmy: the last one here says, "congrats, dude. the album is sick. excited to watch you go. this person says, "stop texting this number! you have the wrong number! if you continue to text this number i'm going to give it to the police!" [ laughter and applause >> so i just -- i love the idea that there is someone in the country so mad that lots of people are trolling them that they have a new album out. >> jimmy: yeah >> i would love to see how that conversation would go with the police "people out here are congratulating me! >> jimmy: "can you believe what's happening in this world? congrats on that documentary by the way, as well >> thank you >> jimmy: i didn't know about that and it is fantastic. [ cheers and applause >> thank you >> jimmy: i loved it and i just didn't really know as much of the history as i thought about you guys was that why you wanted to make one? >> yeah. that was one of the reasons. i think, you know, the whole idea initially was just a documentary. and then from there it kind of evolved to wanting to do this again.
and it's all there in the doc, but it also shows, you know, our childhood, our upbringing, you know, both in church and then into performing together and all that and it's a pretty in-depth look and, you know, has been just phenomenal to see people writing and messaging us about connecting family again. that is the intention really more than anything was just to try to create something that hopefully, you know, brother or sister calls their family and says, "listen, you know, it's been a while but i love you and we can get through this. you know, it was kind of our story. >> jimmy: if you weren't a fans of the jonas brothers before, watch this documentary and you'll be like, "wow." really, hats off you to guys i want to show everyone a clip from the documentary here is nick, joe, kevin in "chasing happiness." take a look at this. >> so this game i played a few days ago it's fun, 'cause questions we either have to answer ourselves or it might be directed towards everybody else >> the more we drink, the more the questions are going to be answered so, ready? >> one, two, three >> boom.
nick roll it. >> biggest regret in regards to brothers season two of "jonas." it's a big regret. we shouldn't have done that. it really stunted our growth, you know i feel like it was just a bad move >> yeah. >> like, it just was not the time and literally, we couldn't evolve because of it >> jimmy: the jonas brothers, everybody. their "happiness begins" is out now. the new album. and the documentary "chasing happiness" is on prime video we're doing something fun with the jonas brothers when we come back stick around, everybody. it's going to be good. [ cheers and applause ♪ -and...that's your basic three-point turn. -[ scoffs ] if you say so. ♪ -i'm sorry? -what teach here isn't telling you is that snapshot rewards safe drivers with discounts on car insurance.
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: "happiness begins" is out now. we're here with the jonas brothers once again! [ cheers and applause now, the three of you are very close. but i wanted to see just how close you are in a game we call "know your bro." [ cheers ] now here's how the game works. one will wear noise cancelling headphones while the other two answers a question about you okay then you'll take the headphones off and we'll see if your answer matches if it does, you get the point. make sense >> yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, here we go let's do this. nick, first question is about you. so please put these on >> so it's about me?
>> jimmy: this is about you. okay, but you can't listen you can't hear what the question is. >> okay. >> jimmy: let me see if you -- is it loud good good good okay all right. can't here you >> baby shark? >> jimmy: all right. [ light laughter ] it's not baby shark. [ laughter ] it should have been. it should have been. here we go all right. kevin and joe. all right. what would nick say is the thing you're most jealous of him for? >> oh, he took batting practice with the dodgers i thought that was pretty cool pretty jealous of that >> his shoe collection >> jimmy: okay, really >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: he got a good one? >> he does have an amazing shoe collection, yeah >> jimmy: really you think that's what he'll say? "oh, you guys are jealous" - >> he has so many shoes. [ light laughter ] >> you go visit his house, it's, like, closet is filler >> jimmy: really >> yeah. i think -- yeah. he has more shoes than priyanka, i'm pretty sure. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay everybody alright, alright, alright. pause. ready? nick, we have -- the question that i asked your brothers is, what would nick say is the thing you're most jealous of him for? >> oh.
>> jimmy: what are they jealous of you for >> what could they have said like, clothing or like -- what anything >> jimmy: could be >> maybe, like, performing at the white house a few times. >> jimmy: whoa [ laughter ] not to brag. clang. clang. not to drop anything [ buzzer ] excuse me. i guess that - >> that wasn't it? okay, sorry. >> i mean, yeah. >> jimmy: all right. this is for kevin. >> this party play list on here is great, by the way >> jimmy: isn't that an insane song, right? oh you hear it all right. so kevin's going for it. okay, he's gone. all right. ready, joe >> yes >> jimmy: nick, what is the worst thing that kevin ever did as a kid that your parents didn't know about at the time? [ audience oohs >> oh, wow uh, he snuck out a few times
>> i think he like -- yeah he snuck out a few times >> and got away with it. i think. well, until now, i guess [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and what did he do >> he had had a couple beers before 21. [ audience oohs >> jimmy: whoa >> scandalous. scandalous >> jimmy: you think that's what he'll say? >> no, i think he bought a pack of cigarettes or something >> jimmy: oh, it's getting worse and worse. >> it's getting worse and worse. [ laughter ] let's stop there let's see what he says [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like this game a a lot. okay you want to pause the music. ready? kevin? it's a good track, right >> that song is intense. >> jimmy: i'm dropping it next week [ light laughter ] >> it's awesome. >> jimmy: kevin, i asked your brothers what is the worst thing that you ever did as a a kid that your parents didn't know about at the time >> okay, worst thing i did as a kid that my parents didn't know about >> jimmy: they might know about it now >> yeah, at the time i brought joe to a tattoo parlor when he was - >> jimmy: whoa [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] that's it.
that's what they said. they told that story that's exactly what he said. >> really? >> jimmy: no >> i wanted to get a tattoo. i was turning 18 soon. so i still, like, 17 i wanted to get a tattoo >> i forgot about this i brought joe with me, not to get a tattoo he just was accompanying me. >> jimmy: yeah >> and they, like, put the stencil on so i could see what looked like, the whole thing and then my parents found out and, let's that was -- i didn't get tattoo for a long time after. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely they said, no, you snuck out >> there's been a whole bunch of other stuff >> jimmy: yeah, i think you are, like, the troubled jonas. yeah >> but i can hear what they said >> watch the show. [ laughter and applause >> jimmy: you got to watch the show all good stuff all good all good funny stuff. okay all right. ready? [ audience oohs what is the wildest thing that happened at joe's bachelor party? [ laughter ] i won't tell anybody >> where do we start >> yeah.
>> okay. >> jimmy: do you have one? >> we're going to air it out >> i can't remember. >> right >> jimmy: yeah >> let's go. we had the cops on the first night called on us three times >> jimmy: really >> true story. >> we -- joe ripped off -- >> in ibiza. >> -- his shirt -- >> shouldn't happen. >> -- in a nightclub and proceeded to rip off two of his friends' shirt in the nightclub. [ light laughter ] he took the cardboard box for 1942 the tequila and somehow cut it into a bandana. so it just said 1942 across his forehead and he wore that on a boat all day long >> jimmy: all right. let's see. joe? joe? that's pretty good, right? >> a long time what you are guys talking about over here? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the question i asked your bros was, what is the wildest thing that happened at your bachelor party? they went there, by the way. >> okay. >> that you remember
>> jimmy: or maybe that you don't remember >> i'm trying to see if i remember anything. but i'm pretty sure we got the cops called on us three times. >> jimmy: yes! [ ding ] [ cheers and applause you got the match, but i also want to say while the headphones are off, how is the year 1942 for you? >> oh. [ light laughter ] strong [ laughter ] >> jimmy: give it up for the jonas brothers, everybody! [ cheers and applause thank you for playing. they preform for us after the break, everybody come on back the jonas brothers [ cheers and applause ♪ alright boys, time for bed.
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: performing -- performing "only human" from their new album, "happiness begins." once again, the jonas brothers [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ i don't wan this night to en it's closing time so leave with me again ♪ ♪ yea you got all my love to spend ♪ ♪ oh let's find a place where happiness begins ♪
♪ we gon' dance in my living roo slave to the way you mov hurts when i'm leaving you ♪ ♪ just danc in the living room love with an attitud drunk to an 80's groove ♪ ♪ we gon' dance in my living roo slave to the way you mov hurts when i'm leaving you ♪ ♪ dance in the living roo slave to the way you move ♪ ♪ it's only human you know that it's real ♪ ♪ so why would you figh or try to deny the way that you feel ♪ ♪ oh babe you can't fool me your body's go other plans so stop pretending you're shy ♪ ♪ just come on an dance dance dance danc oh ♪ ♪ ♪ early morning la-la-light
only getting up to close the blinds ♪ ♪ praying you don't change your mind ♪ ♪ cuz leaving now just don't feel righ let's do it one more time ♪ ♪ we gon' dance in my living roo slave to the way you mov hurts when i'm leaving you ♪ ♪ just danc in the living room love with an attitud drunk to an 80's groove ♪ ♪ we gon' dance in my living room slave to the way you mov hurts when i'm leaving you ♪ ♪ dance in the living roo love with an attitud drunk ♪ ♪ it's only human you know that it's rea so why would you fight or try to deny ♪ ♪ the way that you feel oh babe you can't fool m your body's go other plans so ♪ ♪ stop pretending you're sh just come on and dance dance dance danc oh ♪ ♪
♪ only huma it's onl it's onl only human ♪ ♪ only huma it's onl it's onl only human ♪ [ cheers and applause >> thank you >> jimmy: come on! i love that! love that song fantastic! look at that jonas brothers "only human" is out now! my thanks to chris hemsworth, kumail nanjiani, jonas brothers, once again [ cheers and applause and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers. thank you for watching have a great night i hope to see you tomorrow bye-bye, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪
[ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- jim gaffigan, star of "dead to me," actress linda cardellini, poet and novelist, ocean vuong, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen ♪ [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. welcome to "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause well, that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news president trump held a press conference today with the