♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- sarah silverman. star of "born on thrid base," comedian, gary gulman. musician and producer mark ronson. featuring the 8g band with elmo lovano. ♪ [ chrs and applause and now, seth meyers >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. we're so happy to be with you tonight. and now we're going to get to the news 11 democratic senators sent a letter to president biden

yesterday calling on him to explore options to lower gas prices, which has to be so aggravating for a guy who's been hawking amtrak for 40 years. [ laughter ] "oh, are gas prices too high god, i wish i had an idea for you. [ laughter ] florida governor ron desantis filed paperwork yesterday to run for re-elecetion in 2022 which, in florida, is just finishing the maze on the back page of "highlights. [ laughter ] the writer who wrote that is from florida [ laughter ] i don't want anybody to think that's just like global -- whatever, coastal elites global elites. [ light laughter ] republican representative paul gosar on sunday tweeted a digitally edited, excuse me, anime style video that appeeared to show him attacking congresswoman alexandria ocasio-cortez and president joe biden. you edited yourself into an anime cartoon? [ laughter ] you're like that kid in elementary school who insists he knows kung fu but legally isn't allowed to show you. "my hands are registered with the f.b.i. so --

[ light laughter ] amazon founder jeff bezos jokingly threatened actor leonardo dicaprio yesterday on twitter after a video surfaced showing dicaprio talking with bezos' girlfriend at a gala. what a scandal dicaprio was talking to a woman over the age of 30 [ laughter ] west virginia senator joe manchin is reportedly in talks for a book deal. well, technically someone else will write the book, and he'll cut out all the good parts [ laughter ] and that's budget comedy you came from budget comedy and here it is in a new interview, new york mayor elect eric adams suggesteed that cryptocurrency should be taught in schools. oh, no, are we going to end up missing this guy [ laughter ] france's catholic church announced yesetereday that it would financially compensate sex abuse victims, by selling assets or taking on loans

which explains this new listing on zillow. [ laughter ] looks very nice. according to new report, a 39,000-ton pile of unsold clothes from fast fashion retailers has accumulated in the chilean desert now all they have to do is build four walls around it and throw up a sign. [ laughter ] according to a new study, going to bed too early, or too late, may disrupt the body's natural rhythm and increase the risk of cardiovascular disease so just to be safe, let's all randomly change our clocks twice a year for no reason [ laughter ] nike has filed for trademarks for a new line of virtual clothing it will be the first nike clothing line made entirely by virtual children [ laughter ] now, when you guys didn't take to the tj maxx joke, i had a feeling this one was going to be

pretty bumpy, and -- called it [ laughter ] and finally, former new york governor andrew cuomo over the weekend wished his dog captain a happy fourth birthday in a post on social media. unfortunately, captain unfollowed him a long time ago and that was the monologue, everybody. [ cheers and applause oh, man, oh, man, we have a great show for you tonight we have three guests who are all wonderful people, schumacher isn't that true? which is rare. most nights schumacher will say two winners and an [ bleep ] right? i mean - [ laughter ] but this tonight -- three gems this is an interesting fact. three snl cast members are from my area of -- my home state of new hampshire. i'm one of them. and when i started there, the other two both instantly treated me like family, and i'll never

forget it. one, is on tonight she's an emmy award winning writer, actor, and comedian. she's got a podcast and an animated show. and she is the absolute best sarah silverman will be here tonight. [ cheers and applause by the way, the other -- the other guy from our neck of the woods is adam sandler. so, maybe it's time for you naysayers to hold the granite state in high regard [ laughter ] we also have a very funny stand-up who is headlining carnegie hall this weekend gary gulman will be here [ cheers and applause wally, i think you're off the hook we don't have a camera for wally, do we can we get a camera on wally real quick >> what did i do [ cheers and applause >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. applaud for him now, cause i'm about to show you. show them what you wrote on the gary gulman card turn it around to the camera over there >> which camera. >> seth: over there, over there. come one wally he's going to be headling. >> oh, yeah.

[ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. [ cheers and applause >> i didn't have enough room to fit headlining >> seth: what? >> i didn't have enough room to fit headlining >> seth: you had nothing look at all that white space [ laughter ] >> move on >> seth: you think we couldn't cut back to you? [ laughter ] and he -- this is very exciting. he is a grammy and oscar winning producer, songwriter and -- wait a second go back one oh, my god, wally. show how you spelled songwriter? >> okay. [ laughter and applause >> seth: all right, here's the problem. let me be honest about a thing that happened. during the pandemic, we started to rely on -- well, we were alone. there was no one here. based on the fact that no one was here, wally became very famous we started using him a lot he was very funny.

and we continued to use wally. we give him lines. we're very happy to have wally on the show. it has gone to his head. the term is "headling. [ laughter ] and wally, now, he used to show up really early, and you'd see him proofing the cards and now he showed up 15 minutes ago in a limousine [ laughter ] i'm was like, "wally, have you checked the cards? big sunglasses he's like, "hey, the cards are fine, baby." [ laughter ] anyway, we have a grammy and oscar winning producer, songwriter and deejay. season two of his podcast "the fader uncovered" is out now. our friend mark ronson will be here [ cheers and applause but before we get to all that, we don't always have enough time to cover all if recent news, so here with a recap is one of our writers amber ruffin in segment we call "amber says what?" ♪ [ cheers and applause >> you guys, things have been crazy. first of all, jay-z joined

instgram, and i was like, "what? then he ammassed two million followers in one day and i was like, "what? then he quit a day later and i was like, "what a smart move." then facebook changed its name to meta, and i was like, "what meta how am i going to adjust to this very big name change let me try it out. uncle joe, quit believing everything you read on meta. oh, still works. [ laughter ] but i'll tell you what doesn't work my stubborn uncle joe. then the emoji council released a beans emoji. and i was like, "what? council? there's a whole emoji council? i was like, "yes beans cute, but council. they all wearing robes and conjuring up visions in an orb council? [ laughter ] emoji council? what which one of us got the meaning for the word council wrong council? as in a council met and deliberated and they came up with this? it's emojis. all you need is a 24-year-old

improvisor with a pad and a pen. man, that emoji news had me all like - [ laughter ] and then, i heard bezos offered tom hanks a seat on his rocketship to space. and i was like, "what? tom hanks doesn't want to go to space. that man was in "apollo 13," and he doesn't want to go to space with you." this man had to land a plane in the hudson he has no need to go to space. this man has found true love with a mermaid he does not yearn to wander to the final frontier it makes no sense. then, a woman who participated in the january 6th insurrection bragged on social media that she wouldn't go to jail because she's white with blonde hair and has a good job and i was like, "what? every part of that is wrong. but blonde there are no blonde people in jail what paris hilton went to jail. martha stewart went to jail. felicity huffman, she went to jail

and if you told me shows were the only blonde women to ever go to jail, i would have believed that anyway, that woman was sentenced to 60 days in jail, so there's at least four blonde women in jail [ cheers and applause then i found out that kristen stewart is getting married. and i was like, "what? fun. then i heard that guy fieri was going to officiate and i was like, "what? guy fieri? what?" i did not know it was going to be a destination wedding in flavortown [ laughter ] i love it. and that wasn't even the craziest celebrity wedding news. then, kal penn tweeted about being on a plane and sitting near cardi b and how he wanted her to officiate his wedding, and she tweeted she would. i was like, "what? because true story, i sat next to kal on a flight, too, and he didn't ask me to do [ bleep ]. then i found out aaron rodgers got covid, and i was like, "this cannot be. aaron rodgers, the kid i went to elementary school with [ light laughter ] and they were like, "no, the green bay quarterback

aaron rodgers. and i was like, "what? and then i found out that he had tricked everyone into thinking that he was vaccinated and i was like, "what? finally, football has enough drama for me." [ laughter ] just kidding this is very bad and i hate it when a reporter asked if he was vaccinated, he said he was immunized. now, you know he was lying right there. whenever people use a different word to answer a question, it is a tell tale sign they're lying "hey, are you married? "you don't see a ring on my finger, do you?" "good enough for me. [ laughter ] now, to rodger's credit, he may have been lying, but his whole vibe was trying to tell us the truth. then in the virginia governor's race, there was a commercial where a mom tried to get a book banned because she said it made her son uncomfortable. and i was like, "what are you doing with it? this child sitting on a book?" but it turns out it was a toni morrison book now, people are always trying to get her books banned from

schools. and i'm always like, "what?" stories about the effects of slavery make you feel uncomfortable? bitch, try living them then, something utterly unbelievable happened. [ laughter and applause hundreds of qanon believers showed up in dallas, becuase -- and this is real i did not believe, like, the first, like, four articles i read about it. but it's true. they were expecting to see jfk jr now, i read this, and was like, "what? you were expecting to see jfk jr.? what why did you expect him to show up, and what were you expecting? a man who has not aged an old man a zombie what do you have a sixth sense? what about senses one through five, what [ laughter ] who was he rolling with? santa, the tooth fairy, gehghis khan what are the rules then i found out that they thought jfk jr. was coming back to be trump's running mate and i was like, "what? [ laughter ] you think the famous democrat

came back from the dead to be the republican vice president? [ laughter ] a position, by the way, which almost got the last guy hung [ laughter ] what how do you function in your day-to-day life? because if you start out waiting for word from somebody who has been dead since 1999, you can't possibly run yourself a bath or open a jar [ laughter ] how do you send or receive mail? do you have a bank account [ laughter ] what will you do to keep yourself safe from misinformation will you take your computer, and throw it into the sun? please [ laughter and applause take your computer, and throw it into the sun uncle joe, take your computer and throw it into the sun. this has been "amber says what?" ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: amber ruffin, everybody. check out the emmy nominated "amber ruffin show" on peacock new episodes go up every friday. we'll right back with our friend sarah silverman. [ cheers and applause ♪

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this is what it means to be subaru. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: back with you the 8g band this week, he's a veteran touring drummer who has started his own company, jammcard, designed to empower, develop and employ professional musicians. his new sample pack, "all in drums," is available now on splice for more information, please check out elmolovano.me. elmo lovano is here. thanks so much for being here, elmo

[ cheers and applause >> seth -- thank you, everybody. >> seth: our first guest is an emmy-winning writer, actor and comedian new episodes of "the sarah silverman podcast" are released on thursdays. she also stars in the new show, "santa inc.," which premieres on hbo max december 2nd please become back to the show, our very good friend, sarah silverman, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: welcome back to the show, sarah. >> well, thank you >> seth: we've seen each other a lot virtually, but we were saying backstage, it's nice to see each other in person >> i know, it's weird. it felt like i had seen you. >> seth: but yet, we haven't >> no. >> seth: but you have some very big news you moved into a house >> big news, everybody i bought a house >> seth: that's right. [ cheers and applause [ laughter ] >> thank you i've never -- i grew up in new hampshire. i lived in a house >> seth: yeah. >> but i have never lived in a

house since leaving new hampshire. and i never thought i would. i thought i was apartment person, but i'm a house person >> seth: yeah. and it's a big -- i mean, the biggest step, i would imagine, is the amount of things that go wrong, right >> well, i've always -- when i come home, even in my apartment, i -- i always go, "hello, hello. [ laughter ] because i get scared and i look under the bed and i look in the closet, "hello, hello. [ laughter ] i don't even just want to sound like a man i want to sound like -- like i'm a deranged person. [ laughter ] "hello!" i don't know what i think is going to happen. like -- they're going to be like, "this guy's crazy. let's get out of here. [ laughter ] i don't know but it makes me feel better. >> seth: so you have more hellos to say, i would guess, in a bigger house >> "hello, hello." more around. [ laughter ] yeah "hello, hello. [ laughter ] >> seth: still no answers. you've never gotten a response to the hellos. >> oh, my god. that would be so scary >> seth: someone's like, "hello." like, some -- but especially this - [ laughter ] if they said it like they've just been waiting for someone, say it like, "hi." >> yeah. "hi. [ laughter ] oh, my god >> seth: yeah. is it -- is it like the, kind

of, thing where you've got to, like, mow lawns and stuff? >> i mean, yeah. [ laughter ] a little bit >> seth: congratulations on that >> i don't know why that reminds me of -- this is what? the old chappelle joke about when he first, like, went out to -- he went -- when he first went to los angeles years ago. i've known him since he was 17 and he went -- he went to l.a. and he had heard all this, like, rap music about south central and everything and he got there and people were mowing lawns, you know [ laughter ] he was like, "people have lawns. anyway, that's not what i'm here to talk about. >> seth: do you -- >> yeah, i - >> seth: is it a busy area or is it like -- is it like a -- >> no. it's -- it's out in the middle of -- it's, like, in a canyon with -- i mean, i can still like -- order carl's jr. [ laughter ] carl jr.'s as it should be called [ laughter ] but then there's like -- >> seth: wait, you -- you believe it should be carl jr.'s? >> shouldn't it be carl jr.'s? >> seth: alright [ laughter ] no, i see your point because, otherwise -- it's like, "who's this jr. that belongs to carl?"

is that what you're saying >> yeah. it's like, "what's that surgeon general -- no -- >> seth: oh, yeah. surgeons general >> yeah, it's like that. >> seth: yeah. >> what is the surgeons general? this carl's jr come on. [ laughter ] anyway [ laughter ] >> seth: this -- >> i'm going to die on my hill >> seth: this is what you're here to talk about >> that's what i'm here to talk about. [ laughter ] >> seth: you got sidetracked on the dave chappelle lawn story but now -- now we're into the meat of it [ laughter ] >> but -- it is like i could order in, but also, it is like nature and -- i mean, it's -- there's a skunk that always comes by and we call him, "trip skunkerton." >> seth: trip -- >> because he's the third. [ laughter ] anyway and there's, like, coyotes and mountain lions oh, and i was reading -- do you know how you get a bear? like if you encounter a bear this is good to know >> seth: yeah. >> alright, you're supposed to make yourself as big as possible >> seth: uh-huh. >> and then you make a loud noise while you -- while you walk back. you know, back up from it. >> seth: uh-huh. >> so you go - [ roar imitation ]

[ laughter ] like that. >> seth: i feel like -- i don't know i feel like a bear came up with that [ laughter and applause right? >> oh, my god. bears are just trying to make up like ass[ bleep ]. you're so smart. >> seth: i think just go back to the cave and they're like, "it happened again." [ laughter ] the lady -- which lady the one who says "hello" when she comes home yeah [ laughter ] made herself real big, slowly walked back, tripped over the skunk. [ laughter ] you -- we've talked about your dog before dog's name is -- >> mary. you know what? my dog's name is mary. and -- i -- we were just talking in the dressing room like -- everyone has, like, the guy who did my makeup, quinn, his dog is carol. >> seth: yeah. >> you know, like, everyone has people's names now so now i just feel like -- when i meet people at the dog park and it's like, "this is carol. this is mary." i feel like when i'm like, "i'm puddles. [ laughter ]

this is my boyfriend, shadow you know, like, whenever -- anyway - >> seth: can i say something about mary >> yes >> seth: beautiful teeth just -- like, you don't often see dogs with teeth this pretty. >> okay, is this a big reveal? well, she got eight teeth removed. [ laughter ] she had a big underbite. she got eight teeth removed. >> seth: i like that you said, "is this a big reveal? i -- you sent these pictures i don't -- >> i know, but i -- there are some pictures that where she has teeth. >> seth: she looks -- she actually does. her teeth look good there, yeah. >> yeah, you can see her teeth there. [ audience aws ] >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. she's like -- i don't even know what kind of animal she is >> seth: yeah. >> she's definitely not a guard dog, obviously >> seth: right >> but i still feel like if murderers come in, she will immediately go on her back and be like, "rub my belly." >> seth: yeah. >> but i still feel like that will do something. like, i can just picture murderers going like, "aw, what are we doing?" [ laughter ] but, you know, when you don't

have kids -- like, you have kids, but when you don't have kids, your dog is your child, you know it's your baby that you -- but that you want to die before you. that's the only caveat [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. oh, that's a massive difference, yeah >> it's a bit of a difference, yeah you -- >> seth: but i -- i follow the logic, of course, yeah no one ever loves a dog enough that they're like, "i hope i go first. >> you never want -- yeah, i mean, it's still the natural order. >> seth: yeah. alright. well, i hope mary's not watching [ laughter ] >> she's not >> seth: it would be very jarring. >> she hates your show [ laughter ] i disagree i mean -- >> seth: we'll be -- >> i mean, she's a big trumphead. >> seth: we'll be right back with more from sarah silverman ♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ (sha bop sha bop) ♪ ♪ are the stars out tonight? (sha bop sha bop) ♪ ♪ ♪

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♪ ohhh the joys of kfc quick pick up! ♪ this holiday season, remember the trick. the one that lets you skip the line and get your finger lickin' chicken finger lickin' quick. ♪ it's finger lickin' quick! ♪ >> junior, i am the number two executive vice president at santa inc. who only answers to santa, brent, and the board.

i could end that nose of yours >> i'd like to see you try a lot of powerful people need this nose to glow so they can pay their mortgages and send their kids to private school so by all means, go ahead and try to stop this nose from glowing. >> goddamn it, you're right. >> seth: welcome back to "late night. we're here with sarah silverman. that was a clip from your new show, "santa, inc. >> yes >> seth: not for kids. >> no. >> seth: yeah. >> not for kids. >> seth: it looks like it might be for kids, but then, you hear a "goddamn it" at the end of the clip, and you're like, "oh, this is from sarah silverman. >> i mean, i think this is the kind of thing you want kids to watch anyway, maybe? >> seth: like cool kids. you want a cool kid to find their way to it, right, that can handle it. what is the premise of "santa, inc.?" >> it's like the business of christmas. it takes place in the north pole and like, it's like the year round business of getting ready for that one night of christmas, and it's funny it's made entirely -- not entirely, but many jews came together to create this. [ laughter ] seth rogan and me and the creator and writer ali rushfield

and -- but first of all, the elves. i play an elf. candy smalls and elves are jews in this [ laughter ] because they can work christmas. [ laughter ] i think really elves are jews. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, like, there's no christmas without jews every christmas song you love is jews wrote it. like every single one, it's crazy, these jews. [ laughter ] >> yeah. [ laughter ] and i just made an other - >> seth: but that's a very true thing. you're not just making something up about these christmas songs a lot of famous jewish christmas songwriters. >> every christmas song you love is written by a jewish person. >> seth: yeah. >> and christmas specials and yeah >> seth: did you grow up loving christmas or did you not celebrate it at all and had no take on it one way or another? >> we totally did christmas. because i grew up in new hampshire, in bedford new hampshire. same as you, and so, you know, hanukkah is like the jewish

christmas but it's not a -- if you're like jewy -- if very you're jewish, it's not a big holiday. they just make it that way so kids aren't bummed when they live in new hampshire and everyone has christmas but yeah, we had like a christmas-hanukkah bush >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. there's no -- listen christmas has become and i think this talks the show speaks to it a bit. you know, about itself and things, but at its core, it's about the birth of the nicest jewish boy ever. [ laughter ] right. you know the only caveat is like the only disagreement maybe is jews are disappointed that he became a messiah and not a doctor [ laughter ] >> seth: speaking of very nice jewish boys, your co-star is seth rogen he's right at the top of that list, right? >> yes >> seth: i mean, how did you first meet seth rogen? >> you know what, i didn't

remember this. but i did -- he does this thing every year with his wife lauren miller called hilarity for charity, it was like a stand-up thing for alzheimer's and -- sorry i'm like really scattered. and i just remembered a joke my dad -- it's like an old joke that my dad just told me about i'll just say it in two seconds. the doctor says, "i've got bad news and worse news. he says, "what's the bad news? "ah, you have cancer." he goes, "what's the other news?" "you have alzheimer's. and he's like, "oh, god, well, at least they don't have cancer." [ laughter ] you made me think of them and then i laughed and i felt like i had to explain it. so seth, i'm telling other people's jokes >> seth: i love it via your father, which is wonderful. i mean, unlike your dog, i believe your father does like this show, so this is great. >> loves it. they just texted me, like, "we're recording 'seth.'

they don't talk, yeah, they do talk how i met seth rogen, i didn't know, but he introduced me at hilarity for charity as the first famous person he ever smoked pot with. [ laughter ] and i was like, "i got them -- is that true?" because we worked together since, we've played brother and sister in a movie called "take this waltz" and we did this short film together and blah, blah, blah, blah and we just known each other through comedy anyway, he said, "yeah," and what it was was when i was first doing stand-up at the hollywood improv, i was in my early 20s, mid 20s. and i guess he was probably like 18 or something. and there was a kid that would come around who was like 18 and he'd come around in his like car and be like, "you want to smoke pot? and i'd be like, "yeah, and i'd get in and drive around. he actually grew up to be a wonderful writer director, this kid jonathan kasdan. but seth was there one of those times.

but he was just like a kid that i smoked pot with. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, that's really nice that you could have that experience with him. >> yeah. you shouldn't get in cars with strangers with drugs but i could absolutely take him. so i didn't feel scared. >> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. i also think like kids shouldn't get in cars with famous people to smoke weed either i mean like -- >> right well, they had the weed. >> seth: they did have the weed. you're off the hook this time. >> thank you >> seth: hey, you guys, that's sarah silverman. new episodes of the sarah silverman podcast released on thursdays and "santa, inc." premieres december 7th on hbo max. we'll be right back with gary gulman. [ cheers and applause ♪ (kids chatter) ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is a very funny comedian who will be headlining carnegie hall with

his show "gary gulman: born on third base" this saturday, november 13th, as part of the new york comedy festival please welcome back to the show, our friend gary gulman [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: welcome back. how are you? >> it's nice to be back. i'm terrific thanks for having me >> seth: carnegie hall that's a big deal. >> i was hoping you would bring that up. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, thank you because i don't want it to just be my manager and his mother in the audience >> seth: yeah. >> so you're all invited >> seth: i mean that is -- [ cheers and applause >> carnegie hall >> seth: but it must be -- i mean, you know, all comedians have, you know, through the course of their career played some really low-rent rooms it must feel like a real -- this is the right arc to end up in an iconic room like that. >> it's the first venue my mother has heard of. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> so she's not familiar with gutbusters in tampa, and the yuk yuks chain

so this is very exciting she can tell all her friends that i'm performing in a place that they've been familiar with. >> seth: that's fantastic. and you're living in new york now? >> yes >> seth: you're up in harlem how is it? >> it's fantastic. the nicest people. they tell me to have a blessed day, every day i live on 139,000th and -- [ laughter ] and malcolm x. and people assume -- well, my wife is a black woman, so i'm her plus one so they assume that my neighborhood is gentrified but i think they're thinking further down >> seth: yeah. >> -- towards the park there's a whole foods at 120th and malcolm gladwell >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] that's a little bit more gentrified >> more gentrified, yes. >> and at 110th, it's actually malcolm in the middle. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, i understand. [ laughter ] >> those are the famous malcolms >> seth: the famous white -- whiter malcolms. >> you have to have forbes and and mcdowell there so i apologize to their fans and estates. >> seth: i want to ask about the name of your special because, you know, you did the "great depresh," which is absolutely wonderful and i can't

recommend it enough, where you talked about, you know, issues like anxiety and depression. what is behind the name "born on third base"? >> well, i am very blessed in that, one, i suffer from depression during a time when they could treat it. and a hundred years ago, they would just throw me away and lock the door. and so, i'm very grateful for that and also, i grew up in the '70s a white male in new england. so i had advantages. i'm 6'6", and i ran really fast, so i was able to get a scholarship to college so i was born on third base. as poor as we were growing up -- and we were poor -- the great thing was we didn't feel poor because my father -- a mensch. and i just want to keep with the jewish theme that we have going here [ laughter ] >> seth: that's a very thematic episode, yeah. >> this is -- you thought hanukkah was early no it starts before thanksgiving. [ laughter ] this is incredible >> seth: this is a pre-hanukkah party, yeah. >> oh, my gosh my father had this policy that made us feel less poor

he would say, "if there's something you really want, just ask for it we'll try to find the money. and then, of course, like any dad, he would talk us out of wanting whatever it was that we wanted [ laughter ] like, one year, i wanted to play hockey, which as a new englander, you know -- >> seth: of course >> it's huge >> seth: yep >> and so he said, "if you want to play hockey, we'll try to find the money for you to play this sport you've shown no potential in." [ laughter ] not only have you shown no potential, jews have acquitted themselves quite poorly in this sport. [ laughter ] and then he pulled out this sports almanac with the hockey hall of fame he said, "let's count the jewish players. [ laughter ] ready? done there are zero jewish players. he said, "just for a point of comparison, more jews have been the messiah. [ laughter ] do you -- do you understand that you're more likely to be jesus you are more likely to walk on water than you are to skate on it [ laughter ] but -- >> seth: how have you -- you know, i think a lot of people were interested in how behavior

would change over the course of this pandemic. and as we're going back to normal, do you -- were your predictions correct in how people --? >> no. >> seth: okay. >> i really thought people were going to be nicer. >> seth: yeah. >> and then i went to chipotle soon after that's -- i go there every other day anyhow >> seth: sure. >> it's delicious. and the people who work there are so composed, despite the fact that they deal with this all day long ready? "corn, corn, black beans, brown rice." just people wagging their finger at them to assemble their burrito. or their bowl. [ laughter ] you got to be so careful, seth >> seth: in this day and age, you got to be so careful >> you say burrito, leaving out the bowl people, the next day, the people are on -- yes, yes >> seth: hey, bowl erasure [ laughter ] >> right now, somebody is angry because i'm not doing the manual typewriter correctly >> seth: right, there's the -- yeah >> they'll be writing letters. and so, they come in there, and i just want to tell you, if you go to chipotle, you don't have to point they know where the corn is. [ laughter ]

you found it you don't even work here [ laughter ] how would they not know where the corn is? just give them the benefit of the doubt. say "corn," and then, they look baffled -- [ laughter ] then add the visual aid. but until -- i'm too sen -- i wouldn't last a shift at chipotle somebody would come in, corn oh, is that -- is that where the corn -- brenda, i found the corn [ laughter and applause it was with the other toppings it's always the last place you look [ laughter ] >> seth: it's so lovely to see you again, gary. >> same here, seth >> seth: thanks for being here congratulations. carnegie hall! [ cheers and applause >> thank you >> seth: for more info on tour dates, go to garygulman.com. we'll be right back with mark robinson. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ limu emu... & doug ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is a grammy and academy award-winning producer, songwriter and deejay. the second season of his podcast, "the fader uncovered," is available now please welcome to the show, mark ronson, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: welcome to the show how are you? >> i'm great >> seth: it -- it's lovely to see you. and i want to start by congratulating you recently married there you go >> yes >> seth: there's you and your wife, grace gummer [ cheers and applause >> yeah, it's -- it's -- it was wonderful. she's the best ever. i don't -- i can't say enough. and it was -- it was a wonderful day. >> seth: it was a great wedding. and i would imagine a little bit scaled back because we are, of course, in the middle of a pandemic, but -- >> yes

>> seth: i'm curious with someone like you who is a famous music producer and d.j. - >> yeah. >> seth: do you have a band? do you have a deejay or is it just too much pressure to put on someone else >> i -- weirdly, like, i hate deejays. it's so strange because i am a deejay >> seth: yeah. >> and i was thinking like, "who would i have?" and then i felt, "well, it's not fair just because i don't like deejays, everyone else should be able to dance. but a bunch of the guys in the band that we're going to play are some of my friends who play in the roots and play on "jimmy fallon. and yes -- >> seth: yeah, it's very - >> amazing too [ cheers and applause >> seth: very nice poll for a wedding band >> they are great. and they were also playing earlier that we can remember barack obama was having his huge 60th >> seth: yes, i do believe there was some press about that. yes. >> there was some press about that of course. so -- so -- and, you know, as we're scaling back our wedding because it's covid and we're kind of looking at -- i mean, i can't believe i'm like, judging my wedding against, like, the obama's 60th remember like, through the week, it was like -- well, now they've disinvited 200 people and now it's only getting 50 and -- so we had -- we disinvited everybody at our wedding except, you know, immediate family

so when the guys got there from the roots band, i, kind of, wanted to be, like, "so what was the obama -- it was really small, right?" it was -- they were like "no, that's -- it was wild. it was, like, crazy. [ laughter ] and i was just, like -- like, they hadn't slept in three days. they've probably been jamming with, like, quincy jones and dave chappelle like, "whatever. and i'm like, "okay, well, just play the jazz tunes. [ laughter ] like -- like, "i'm sorry this isn't going to be that. anyway, i think it was a good, like, hungover sunday for them just to like - >> seth: very nice good -- good vibe. >> play tomorrow, our way. >> seth: you have -- you have a podcast where you interview a musician you have a documentary series on apple tv - >> yes >> seth: called "watch the sound. the same, sort of, idea. >> yes >> seth: when you were talking to musicians and obviously, it's what you do for a living, but a lot of these people you were listening to music before it was your living. >> yes >> seth: how do you separate those moments of being someone who is, you know, in their field, a peer, but also like a giant fan of their work? >> i mean, it's impossible i just, like, sit on my hands. and i'm like, "don't be an idiot. [ laughter ] like -- like -- no, i mean, it's true

i make music and it's nice that some of these people think of me as a peer, like -- but i'm talking to big boy from "outcast." and -- my favorite concert ever was "outcast" in 1999 in miami and just, like, these are people that have soundtracked my life so i always try and wait the moment because you don't want to start up -- "i love you. but then it just seems like you're trying to win them over i don't know but -- and then, occasionally, i'll interview some rapper who's, like, a young up and coming, like, person, rico nasty and at the very end, she'll be like, "so, like, what do you do? you're like a journalist or something? [ laughter ] like, she has -- she has no idea i make music, which is also great. so i kind of -- i -- i don't mind either way. >> seth: i would imagine, like, interviewing someone is one thing but you also collaborate with them. and that, it must be even more important not to, sort of, geek out or -- or be a fan boy, because then they might not take you seriously. >> yeah. i mean, i think that -- i mean, the ultimate example, of course, working with, like -- somebody who is, like, basically a goddess like paul mccartney.

and i feel like on day one, you're allowed to be an idiot. and like -- i've been producing records for, like, 15 years. it was like -- everything was kryptonite in my hands like, it's paul mccartney, you know >> seth: yeah. >> so then, i think he gives you a day to be like that because he's used to -- he does -- has that effect on everyone. but then, like, day two, like -- "better come with the heat, bro. [ laughter ] or sir paul is going to fire you. so -- so, yeah so it's just about getting over those things but, like, q-tip, ghost face killer, all these people i grew up with who were like -- grew up listening to their music, when you're finally in the studio with them, it is kind of surreal, you know? >> seth: i can only imagine. you -- you've worked with people like, amy winehouse and lady gaga and bruno mars and i'm just wondering, over the course of this career where you've worked with this, you know, diverse slate of singers and musicians. are there moments where you hear a lyric for the first time or are you hear, you know, a note for the first time that even having worked in this for so long that you're just taken aback, in -- in awe. >> yeah, like, i definitely remember when we were writing "shallow" and you're futzing around and everybody's got an instrument going through chords

and -- and, lady gaga, she's playing this piano and the moment, she's looking for where she's saying phrases and then she says -- she sang, "tell me something boy," or "tell me something girl, are you happy in this modern world?" and, like, the way she sang it and her voice. like, your hair just stand up -- you're like "okay, what's the next line? then you -- then you get this excitement but yeah no, it's -- it's amazing when those moments happen >> seth: i feel like thanks to a number of music documentaries over the last, you know, decade plus we have a greater appreciation for what a music producer does and you just realize there's such a delicate fiddling and changing and - you know, deciding, you know, what to bring up and what to bring down do you ever hear one of your songs years later and regret choices you made or -- >> yeah. like i listened to all of them and i'm just like -- i don't listen to my own music like, active that's not true. i just didn't want to look at it [ laughter ] no -- no, i -- i don't i don't make it a regular thing.

but, occasionally, like, you hear a song and it's, like, something you did 15 years ago and you're like, "oh, i get it." i was like this aggressive kid i was trying to throw the whole kitchen sink -- now i know why i should have, like, chilled out but, occasionally like, i was in the airport, actually. and i heard this song playing, like, far from the speaker like some duty free, like i was in the whiskey store at 7:00 in the morning. no, he throws. sorry. and i was like, "oh, that's cool." i was like, "those drums sound cool," because i always hear drums and if the drums have a good sound, i, like, want to hear the song. and i ended up shazaming it and i looked, i was like, "oh, i made that. like, i -- [ laughter ] it wasn't so amazing, but i was like, "that's so funny." i was like, "i wonder who did the drums on this song," and i forgot that i had done that song >> seth: i really -- i mean, that's -- that's really funny. like, "this is really great. i got to "oh." well, look at that [ laughter ] >> yeah. one bottle of jack daniels thank you. [ laughter ] >> seth: thank you so much for being here congrats on the podcast. [ cheers and applause can't wait to see the show >> thank you [ cheers and applause >> seth: mark ronson, "the fader uncovered," is available wherever you get your podcasts

and watch "the sound" is streaming on apple tv plus we'll be right back. ♪ [ cheers and applause

[ cheers and applause >> seth: i want to thank my guests sarah silverman, gary gulman, and mark ronson i want to thank elmo lovano and the 8g band. stay safe. get vaccinated we love you. the audience, everyone [ cheers and applause ♪ right now, breaking news in san francisco, you are seeing it here