Skip to main content

tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  December 17, 2021 12:37am-1:37am PST

12:37 am
[ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with tonight --s. priyanka chopra jonas -- star of "saturday morning allstar hits" comedian kyle mooney -- and all new "closer look." featuring the 8g band with fred armisen]. ♪ [ cheers and applause and now, seth meyers >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. we hope you're doing well tonight. and now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news. well, there are just 15 days left in 2021, and by my
12:38 am
more years of 2020 [ laughter ] when asked by reporters yesterday if his "build back better" act will pass congress by the end of the year, president biden said, "it's gonna be close." buddy, it's december 16th. it's already close [ laughter ] at this point, even amazon prime is like, "how's march? president biden and vice president kamala harris met with members of the white house coronavirus response team today to discuss the omicron variant, which was pretty awkward, considering it was right there in the room with them. [ laughter ] i didn't know it got such a good seat. according to new data, an initial symptom of the omicron coronavirus variant may be a scratchy throat. oh, man, then i wouldn't get so close, little stephen. [ laughter ] and i want you all to realize that i do know - in back-to-back jokes, i went "om-icron" and "oh-micron. [ laughter ] just trying to cover all my bases.
12:39 am
hope you're all happy. [ laughter ] nasa announced this week that its parker solar probe became the first spacecraft in history to touch the sun and if you want to get some idea of the intensity of that kind of heat, microwave a burrito. the biden administration this week reversed a trump-era rule allowing more powerful shower heads well, there goes the divorced-aunt vote [ laughter ] i say "ont," i get a lot of grief around here for saying "ont. shoemaker, our producer, always tells me it's "ant," and yesterday we had marisa tomei on the show, and he told me, 'cause she's in "spider-man" and she plays aunt may, and he's like, "it's not 'ont' may. like, don't embarrass yourself." [ laughter ] "it's 'ant' may,' and you do that all the time. and then he said, "even worse, paul rudd is not 'ont'-man." [ laughter ] which i guess i had been doing i didn't even realize. [ laughter ]
12:40 am
former first lady melania trump announced today that she will launch a new nft platform, which is crazy 'cause i always thought she was one. "wait, i think that nft just blinked. and finally, experts are projecting that "paw patrol" toys will be a popular children's christmas gift this year. it's the gift that'll have your nephew saying, "i'm 13 do better, 'ont'-man!" [ laughter ] and that was the monologue, everybody. [ cheers and applause whoo we got a great show for you tonight. you know her from "baywatch," "quantico," and now she's starring in "the matrix resurrections," which is out next week. priyanka chopra jonas is here. and you know him from "saturday night live" and his new show "saturday morning all star hits!," which is now streaming on netflix kyle mooney will be back and joining me but before we get to all that, yet more shocking text messages have emerged in the investigation of the january 6th
12:41 am
insurrection and donald trump's attempted coup, with the investigation now implicating several members of congress. democrats meanwhile have spent the last day or so chasing their own tails over the president's signature "build back better" plan for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ if you're of the mind, as i am, that the republican party has been captured by an authoritarian cult of goons, weirdoes, and asymmetrical crime goblins who always look like they just walked in on their parents having sex, with a different set of parents, "mom, dad, i thought you hated the petrocellis! "no, rudy, don't let this screw you up for your whole life!" and if you agree that republicans pose an existential threat to democracy, if they ever get back into power, then the logical and somewhat sobering conclusion of that belief is that our only hope is the democratic party, which is not a comforting thought it's like being on the outside of the nfl playoff picture and needing the jets to win. "okay, guys, we're in with a
12:42 am
win, a broncos loss, and a jets win, so why don't you pack up all your lockers, and i'll see you next summer. [ laughter ] yesterday, for example, was quite the roller coaster of incompetence from democrats. they started the day by announcing that they were abandoning their signature social-spending bill, the "build back better" plan, which sounds like the name of a [ bleep ] house-flipping show on hgtv hosted by a married couple who can't agree on anything. "i thought you wanted an accent wall." "no, i said i wanted shiplap." "well, i think you're full of shiplap! this is why i cheated on you with the property brothers and remember, they do everything together [ laughter ] democrats said they were shelving their signature "build back better" plan in order to pursue voting-rights legislation, which is also urgently necessary, but requires changing the filibuster rules. then, they claimed they were making progress on changing those rules, only to have senator kyrsten sinema announce hours later that she was still against changing the filibuster to protect voting rights, which was then followed up by
12:43 am
senator joe manchin, the guy who lives on a houseboat called "almost heaven" like he's captain ron's deadbeat dad, suggesting that he might still be open to a price tag of $1.75 trillion dollars for the "build back better" plan, and screaming at a reporter who asked him about the bill, quote, "this is bull[bleep], you're [bleep]. all in all, a great day for the democratic party [ laughter ] such a grumpy-old-man move to say to someone not just that they're full of b.s., but that they themselves are bull[bleep]. he sounds like he just got in a fight with a sales associate at lowe's who told him he can't use a coupon for duraflame "you're bull[bleep], gary, and i'm taking my business over to ace hardware!" by the way, i want to take a moment to point out that we have not rolled a clip yet, which is bad news for wally because he uses the clips to take breaks from holding up the cue cards. i mean, look at his arms right now. [ laughter ] stay strong, wally >> seth. [ cheers and applause
12:44 am
seth, please please roll a clip my physical therapist said i can't take much more of this >> seth: alright, i'll do my bet to get to it manchin's outburst reminds me of this moment from a few years back, when the term "fake news" started to become a thing and trump hurled it at a reporter like a personal insult >> can you give us a question? >> no, i'm not going to give you a question >> can you state categorically -- >> you are fake news [ laughter ] >> seth: he sounded like a gossipy teen at a high school locker "becky said that joanna said that tyler said that marc said that you are fake news." [ laughter ] hey, we rolled a clip. are you happy now, wally [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause >> seth, never been better, baby [ laughter ] >> seth: well, i'm glad you're good, wally, because i'm, uh, not doing great. see, yesterday, during "a closer look," i got all tripped up when wally held up this card with the words "so now
12:45 am
we what these. made no sense, so wally did this, putting his finger over the "we," which made the sentence make even less sense. [ laughter ] wally, do you now understand that a word was missing and that that word was "know" >> uh, yeah, i do, but i needed the "know" for something else, seth >> seth: what did you need the "know" for >> for this. hey, kids, be nice to your cue-card guy, because he can [bleep] you over [ theme tones play ] [ applause ] >> seth: i think wally counts as a series regular now [ laughter ] anybody remember what we were talking about? oh, right, now i do. here we go keep going it turns out manchin was calling the reporter bull[bleep] because the reporter asked him about one of the bill's most important and transformative policies, an extension of the child tax credit that has helped dramatically slash child poverty.
12:46 am
if democrats don't pass "build back better," the credit will expire and on top of that, president biden just announced that he plans to restart federal student-loan payments in february i mean, democrats, what's wrong with you in a midterm year, you want to take away cash for children and make people pay student loans again? what's next? do we all have to pitch in for joe manchin's houseboat renovations? so, the democrats are in bad shape politically and seem to be making things worse for themselves for no reason, which is bad, because the party standing in the wings to retake power, republicans, who tried to stage a coup and remain in thrall to an aspiring authoritarian. with democrats sputtering, republicans are hoping inflation, and specifically rising meat prices, will help them in the midterms recently the white house said the blame for rising meat prices rests in part with meat conglomerates, and then fox news decided to repeat a term for those companies to deride biden that - well, let's just say the term was a little distracting >> everything costs too damn much first, it was the pandemic's fault. now it's big meat. corporate greed and big meat that's what you do to your rival. don't you define your rival, in this case, big meat.
12:47 am
big meat is something people can remember >> but they're making up a rival, right like, big meat is not their rival. >> the guy at the supermarket, geraldo, with the little price gun, he shoots it on the meat there, he gets a note from big meat every week what the price of the steak is going to be. big meat - >> big meat -- >> big meat -- >> big meat -- >> seth: why are they saying "big meat" so much is this "fox news after dark"? [ laughter ] they sound like they're on a press tour for a porno about a pizza delivery guy [ laughter ] "we had a ton of fun making 'big meat.'" [ laughter ] "tons of on-set pranks." the worst part of that segment came when rudy got confused and accidentally googled "big meat." [ laughter ] maybe they're just sticking up for big meat because that was trump's secret service code name. "big meat is coming through. i repeat, big meat is coming through. and it looks like he's with bacon bit and lunchables." [ laughter ] "they call me lunchables 'cause i'm always a little wet.
12:48 am
[ laughter ] this is a good encapsulation of republican politics right now. it's both very dangerous and very dumb at the same time, because when they're not claiming democrats are targeting big meat, republicans are also defending trump's attempted coup while planning the next one. in fact, the committee investigating the coup keeps unearthing more shocking revelations. last night, we told you about private texts from don jr. and several fox news hosts during the january 6th attack now we're learning about several texts from republican lawmakers who have, so far, remained unnamed. in one text, before january 6th even took place, an unnamed gop lawmaker suggests a truly insane plan to have swing states just declare themselves for trump before the results are even in >> members of the january 6th committee now, just a moment ago, revealed some more of the text messages that he had willingly handed over to the committee before stonewalling. one of the texts reveals the conversation to overthrow the election result started on november 4th, the day after the election a lawmaker messages meadows, "here's an aggressive strategy why can't the states of georgia,
12:49 am
north carolina, and pennsylvania and other r-controlled state houses declare this is b.s. and just send their own electors to vote and have it go back to the scotus." >> seth: anytime someone starts a text with the words "here's an aggressive strategy," don't open the attachment [ laughter ] also, the random capitalization is a hint that whatever that person is telling you is gonna be super insane. it would honestly look less nutty if trump's cronies just passed notes to each other with letters cut out from magazines [ laughter ] and that wasn't the only text from an unnamed republican lawmaker essentially proposing a coup one text said to meadows, about the plan for a coup, "i'm personally so proud that you're the tip of the spear." ugh, you never want to hear the words "tip of the spear. it's either about an evil plot or someone's - >> big meat. [ laughter ] >> seth: and another text to meadows, sent the day after the insurrection failed, said, "yesterday was a terrible day. we tried everything we could in our objection to the six states. i'm sorry nothing worked." now, we don't know yet who exactly sent this text, but we
12:50 am
do know that some pro-coup gop lawmakers have been super shifty about their communications with trump on that day. a few months ago, a reporter asked ohio congressman jim jordan if he talked to trump on january 6th, and he was extremely cagey about it >> yes or no, did you speak with president trump on january 6th >> yeah, i mean, i spoke with the president last week. i speak with the president all the time i spoke with him on january 6th. i mean, i talk with president trump all the time i'm actually kind of amazed sometimes that people keep asking this. of course, i talk to the president all the time like i said, i talked with him last week. >> on january 6th, did you speak with him before, during, or after the capitol was attacked >> uh, i'd have to go -- i spoke with him that day, after. i think, after i don't know if i spoke with him in the morning or not. i just don't know. i'd have to go back and -- i mean, i don't know w-when those conversations happened >> seth: thank you, congressman nicholas fehn. [ laughter ] i mean, yikes. jordan would have been better off with, "hummina, hummina, hummina.
12:51 am
anytime anyone ever talks that fast about anything, it's automatically suspicious, especially in response to such a straightforward question if you asked your spouse how work was, you'd be suspicious if they said, "i don't know how's work work is work what's work anyway i mean, it was good. i mean, or i don't know, work is work is work i'm just amazed that people keep asking me this question. i was at work. work is work is work it's work. alright, honey, in that case, i'm gonna call the property brothers, both of them. and yet, despite all of this incontrovertible evidence, the text messages, the secret memos, all the smoking guns we've found out about over the last year, propagandists in the gop and on fox news are still trying to rewrite history. last night, fox news contributor lara trump ludicrously claimed that trump tried to warn people about the insurrection he himself whipped up >> these people know, whether it's adam schiff, whether it's liz cheney, whether it's or kinzinger, they all know that donald trump didn't orchestrate this whole thing he didn't tell people to go to the capitol and break in he said, "let's peacefully and patriotically make our voices heard.
12:52 am
but he tried to warn them. so many people tried to warn nancy pelosi so why didn't they have the adequate security there? >> seth: i'm sorry, what trump tried to warn people about the coup he fomented do you mean like the way a serial killer warns the cops about his next move? did trump send a fax to the police the night before january 6th with cryptograph and a zodiac symbol? [ laughter ] of course, if trump ever did that, he would probably sign his name to it [ laughter ] also, if trump ever said the word "patriot," he'd inevitably end up on a long tangent about how he's best friends with tom brady. "tom brady, we love him, we love him great guy. used to be a patriot now he's a buccaneer we love the buccaneers, don't we, folks? but we miss the old helmet he was a pirate with a tailored mustache and such beautiful skin i always said that's how i'd look if i wore a fancy hat and had a knife in my mouth. and i always wondered, why did you have to have a knife in your mouth? i mean, you got to be doing something pretty important with your hands if you're gonna put
12:53 am
the knife in your mouth. are you swinging from one ship to another i don't know and we're never gonna know because they never showed us his body, just the head. just the head. it's sad where was i? oh, right, burn that [ bleep ] capitol to the ground and make me president again!" anyway, this is our last "closer look" of 2021, and we have tried, to the best of our ability, to spend this year documenting all of the evidence that trump and his cronies were very much staging a coup, from the secret memos to the newly unearthed text messages, and that they're in the process of doing it again if they get the chance everyone knew the reality of what was happening on that day, even don jr. and fox news hosts, as we now know from their private texts. and yet, since then, they've tried to rewrite history i'm sorry, but if you're trying to tell us now, nearly a year later, that trump was actually warning everyone about the coup he fomented, then -- >> you are fake news >> seth: oh, not the callback clip you were expecting, but
12:54 am
that's because it's fake news to suggest that the insurrection on january 6th was just an innocent little get-together and they were all just hanging out peacefully at the capitol for a -- >> big meat. [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." [ theme music plays [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with priyanka chopra jonas, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ or lines for family members, you'll get great value on america's most reliable 5g network. like 2 lines of unlimited for just $27.50 a line. that's our everyday price. plus, our plans always come with unlimited talk, text and data included. so, switch to t-mobile and get 2 lines of unlimited for only $27.50 a line. that's half the price of verizon or at&t. only at t-mobile. the leader in 5g. ♪ best of my love by black pumas feat. sofia reyes ♪ shop our holiday best deals now through saturday at target. save on select men's shirts, kitchen appliances, floorcare and more.
12:55 am
this week only at target. [ end music ] rated teen. liam wrote “vr is useless until multiplayer is a thing.” well liam, what do you call this? and this? go! go! go! and this? liam is the worst.
12:56 am
these are the faces of listerine. the face of millions of germs zapped in seconds. the face of clean. the face of whoa! some are of intensity, others joy. all are of... various: ahhh... listerine. feel the whoa! ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪ [hall & oates "you make my dreams" plays] ♪ new gifts arriving at a store near you for way less than you expect. at t.j. maxx, marshalls and homegoods. (vo) subaru and our retailers believe in giving back. that's why, in difficult times, we provided one hundred and fifty million meals to feeding america.
12:57 am
and now through the subaru share the love event, we're helping even more. by the end of this year, subaru will have donated over two hundred and twenty five million dollars to charity. this is what it means to be more than a car company. this is what it means to be subaru. ♪ [ cheers and applause
12:58 am
>> seth: our first guest tonight is a very talented actress you know from her work in "baywatch" and "quantico. she stars in "the matrix resurrections," which will be in theaters and imax nationwide and on hbo max december 22nd please welcome back to the show our friend priyanka chopra jonas. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: hi, how are you >> i'm just so happy to be back with a live audience >> seth: isn't it wonderful? [ cheers and applause >> oh, it's so special >> seth: i know, because i think sometimes too much was put on the fact that it was weird for hosts to do it without audiences, but guests on talk show, i feel like, needed audiences even more, because we got to do it every day we got more and more used to the fact that there was nobody here, but it must have been so jarring when you were doing press and having to be in front of nobody. >> you're the first late-night show i'm doing in like two years. i'm out of practice, guys.
12:59 am
>> seth: no, no, you're off to it. everybody already is thinking, "she's really good at this." [ laughter ] >> we'll find out. >> seth: you just passed a three-year anniversary to your husband, nick jonas? congratulations. >> thank you [ cheers and applause >> seth: i sort of felt like this was a sign of a very strong marriage i saw you burning him with some zingers at the jonas brothers family roast [ laughter ] did you enjoy? it must be fun to stand up-- i mean, 'cause, again, he sort of signed up for it, so you're allowed. >> oh, i had a great time. [ laughter ] how often can you actually really roast your husband publicly, and netflix and the whole world is watching? it was so much freedom >> seth: when it was over, did he give you -- was he happy, was he proud 'cause i would be proud, no matter the burn, if they were as well delivered as you delivered that >> alright, i'll be honest i want to give nick credit where it's due he wrote half my jokes because i was so nervous [ laughter ] >> seth: but you write half of
1:00 am
their songs? >> but i delivered them. i'm the muse >> seth: you're the muse ♪ so i basically write the songs >> seth: there you go. [ laughter ] that's very nice of you to give him that credit. again, another sign of a very strong marriage. >> secure. >> seth: exactly, secure marriage, yeah this is so exciting that you're in the new "matrix" film >> so excited. >> seth: do you have a - because i have such a specific memory of seeing it in the cinema for the first time. do you remember going to see it? >> i do. i think i was 16 i was in the states. i remember seeing it with friends. i think i was in newton or something. i'm not really sure. that's fuzzy what's not fuzzy is trying to wear only black after, or not smiling, because i wanted to be cool. or wearing those sunglasses and talk about existential theories when i didn't even understand what the word meant. [ laughter ] but it really shifted me, and it shifted my expectations from cinema >> seth: yeah. >> after neo's bullet trick and just the spoon bending and the mouth stitching, which was
1:01 am
terrifying and still is. but it was just like i had such larger expectations when i watched movies >> seth: yeah, and i remember, i was older than you and i got a little stoned when i went and saw "matrix," 'cause i heard, people said, "you want to get stoned." and maybe i got a little too stoned, 'cause it is the clearest memory i have of the only movie i was in where at some point where i thought to myself, "i think this might be real. [ laughter ] >> "i think it might be real." also, it was the turn of the century when the movie came out. whoever remembers this, don't remind me of my age. but, yes, you know the y2k fear? >> seth: yeah. >> and everyone was like, "technology was kind of scary, it's gonna take over the world," and there comes "the matrix" and tells you that you might be living in one, so it was terrifying >> seth: yeah, and now you were like, "oh, no. i feel like, five years ago, we're like, "no, technology is fine. it's all like your aunt posting stuff on facebook. and then you're like, "oh, no. >> yep >> seth: "i think that's the matrix." >> especially when you're having a conversation with your friend
1:02 am
and then they log on instagram and ads pop up, and you're like, "did you just recommend that same toothbrush that i was talking about to my friend five minutes ago?" >> seth: it's crazy. that is like my wife is constantly talking about how she's getting targeted ads >> i'm fully, fully paranoid >> seth: and then she always walks to me and she's like, "i got another ad have you been talking about batman action figures around my phone? [ laughter ] and i'm like, "uh, uh, duh, kids. [ laughter ] you talk about using the matrix language after seeing the first film obviously, being in the film, you have to deliver it was it the same sort of wordy, thoughtful dialogue that we've come to expect >> yes, and i have lots of words, and matrix words. i don't want lana to fire me, but now i'm in the movie, she can't kick me out. >> seth: well, no, they actually, with their digital effects, they could replace you like that, yeah. [ laughter ] >> the first day i was filming was crazy. i had to say all the lines that
1:03 am
i have in the movie, which when you guys watch the movie in the theater on the 22nd, you will see that it's wordy, but at the same time, lana wanted - lana wachowski, the director, she doesn't like rehearsals. she doesn't like actors to be prepared she likes a really live, electric environment, so she wanted me to say all my lines in the entire movie in one sunset, because she wanted that perfect magic light. >> seth: wow >> and that's 45 minutes to an hour. and i had the whole cast standing in front of me. everyone and my hands were sweating and my knees were buckling >> seth: every part of that is terrible, but especially the fact that your light is going away >> i can see it, i can see it. >> seth: you can't be like, "i'm gonna need 15 more minutes somebody get to work on the sun. [ laughter ] >> it's a ticking time bomb. and you're like, "[ bleep ], i can see it get it right, get it right >> seth: i'm sure everything was a little bit easier after you did that >> after that first day, everything was so much easier. >> seth: i have more to ask you. we'll be right back with more from priyanka chopra jonas [ cheers and applause ♪
1:04 am
so i called back? same state farm agent. texted the next day? same guy. is that even legal? and get this - he remembered my name. of course. hey, blink twice if you're in danger. whoa, guys. at state farm, we actually get to know you. it's called service. come on! like a good neighbor, state farm is there. (background chatter) (music) come on! (music)
1:05 am
mr. clarke. your daughter is a very good kisser. when you crave the uncomfortable. try spicy pringles scorchin'. the hammerschteins are saving big, holiday shopping at amazon. so now they're free to become... the handbell hammerschteins. ♪ ♪ just pure artistry. do you struggle with occasional nerve aches
1:06 am
in your hands or feet? ♪ ♪ try nervivenerve relief from the world's #1 selling nerve care company. nervive contains alpha lipoic acid to relieve occasional nerve aches, weakness and discomfort. try nervivenerve relief. lactaid is 100% real milk, just without the lactose. so you can enjoy it even if you're sensitive to dairy. so anyone who says lactaid isn't real milk is also saying mabel here isn't a real cow. and she really hates that.
1:07 am
1:08 am
♪ >> general, thank you for seeing me. >> i figured, if there was anyone who could make sense of this, it would be you. >> hello, neo. >> i know you. >> i've tried to keep my eye on you >> seth: wow, beautiful sunset, beautiful sunset it was worth it. so, that was a clip from "matrix resurrections. " i would imagine one of the things with a film like that is keeping things secret. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: and did you have a lot of people trying to get that out of you, or did they respect that that was something they couldn't tell you >> actually, i think everyone is so terrified, or everyone in my vicinity, understands that, that nobody really asked me anything. nobody asked me. everyone was excited, but nobody asked me i remember, when i got the script, which was the first time i met lana wachowski, who's a very, you know, she's a massive filmmaker and prolific, and it was intimidating, and when she gave me my script for the first
1:09 am
time, freshly printed with my name printed on it, she said, "welcome to the matrix." [ laughter ] i was like - and then i took it and i put it in a vault and i swear to god, i would probably read it under covers with, like, a torch, anybody watching >> seth: that's good you took it seriously. >> i did >> seth: you also just shot a show in london called "citadel." tell us a little bit about that. >> oh, that's really cool. it's for amazon prime video. and it's the russo brothers, and it's with richard madden, stanley tucci. it's really cool i get to drop this dance it's a little bit of a dystopian future i'm an international superspy. >> seth: it's perfect! i want to also ask you, because, obviously, you take care of yourself and you have sort of a self-care regime that maybe we might not know about, including something with beer and eggs [ laughs ] >> seth: tell us what it is and where you learned it >> okay, the indians would know about this >> seth: oh, interesting >> it is, it is. or at least my mom claimed that that was true, and then i saw her friends do it, too
1:10 am
but, apparently, beer and eggs, which my mom used to do when i was growing up, in her hair, and she'd leave it as a conditioner, and apparently it's really good for you. it helps with hair growth. and it stinks to high heaven, but when she shampoos it, it's alright. >> seth: alright, interesting. so, do you sort of whip the egg and then pour a beer in? >> it's not so complicated mix it, put the beer in, try to not get it everywhere. >> seth: feel like you're pranking me, but i'm gonna do it. [ laughter ] >> google it i promise you. >> seth: sure. [ laughter ] i know you tried to pick up, like all of us, pandemic hobbies, including painting. are you still actively painting, or have you moved on, found anything else? >> it lasted two days. [ laughter ] i painted, i learned cross-stitch, which was for two days i bought a drum set, 'cause i was like, "i'm gonna do this." never sat on it. it has my jackets, my clothing [ laughter ] so, many, many hobbies, piano, knitting i knitted the front half of a sweater. >> seth: oh, that's wonderful. so, like a bib you made a bib
1:11 am
>> sort of, and it's the size of my husband's chest, so it's substantial work >> seth: yeah, of course >> so i didn't really end up doing very much. but i wrote a book i launched a hair-care line. >> seth: oh, yeah, beer and eggs >> yes, beer and eggs. [ laughter ] >> seth: i saw that at the store. i was wondering. [ laughter ] >> it's a good name. >> seth: it is a really good name. it was a do-it-yourself kit. it was some coors light next to a dozen eggs >> there you go. that would sell. >> seth: that would sell ♪ that's my favorite, beer and eggs >> seth: right i want to ask, as well, you kind of came up through the pageant world. what was your first title before miss world >> miss india. >> seth: miss india, okay. so, you're miss india and miss world i'm always fascinated by the fact that part of it is asking these giant questions that would not even be fair questions to ask established adults >> totally >> seth: onstage was that the most terrifying part of it for you, knowing those were coming? >> i think once i stumbled upon the miss india pageant, because
1:12 am
my mom thought i was pretty and ended up like a joke, sending in pictures, and i actually got a callback, so i was like, "oh, this is a great way of me, like, skipping my 12th board exams, which are like here. so i was like, "yeah, let's go for a pageant," never having done it. won it i was 17 and then i think i just -- that's when the actress in me was born i just took on the part of a pageant queen. i used to speak like that. i was very articulate at 17. i had no idea what i was doing, and it took me many years, actually, to sort of shed the produced image of who i thought i needed to be at that age and i think women have these subconscious things that are subliminally put into their minds, which is the certain way to speak and pageants kind of do that, fan that thing but it took me many years to be able to shed that. but it was very terrifying but i'll ask you my question that i was asked for miss india. let's see what you answer. my question was -- this is very matrix, actually, "blue pill or red pill?"
1:13 am
but, "if ignorance is bliss, then why seek knowledge? >> seth: well, that's a wonderful question [ laughter ] >> great way of buying time. >> seth: i don't want you to think that i am buying time from this answer, because i value your time. [ laughter ] and i appreciate that this is a timed answer and that at some point a bell will ring and i won't have to get where i was going. [ laughter ] 'cause i can be bailed out, right? >> no, no, no. >> seth: i can't >> millions are watching >> seth: great [ laughter ] on behalf of all of you, i think that you, too, have forgotten the question [ laughter ] >> concentric circles. and miss america is seth meyers! >> seth: thank you [ cheers and applause hey, thank you so much for being here it's always such a pleasure talking to you priyanka chopra jonas, everybody! "matrix resurrections" will be in theaters and imax and hbo max on december 22nd we'll be right back with kyle mooney!
1:14 am
[ cheers and applause ♪ find your rhythm. your happy place. find your breaking point. then break it. every emergen-c gives you a potent blend of nutrients so you can emerge your best with emergen-c.
1:15 am
-hey, fridge, -hey. did you know autotrader lets me shop for cars by monthly payment, so i know what i'll pay before i buy. cool. was that a refrigerator joke? kenan, chill. alright, just stick to making ice. i didn't mean right now! ♪♪ ♪ you are my fire ♪ ♪ the one desire ♪ ♪ you are, you are, ♪ ♪ don't wanna hear you say... ♪ ♪♪ ♪ i want it that way ♪ ♪ baby got back by sir mix-a-lot ♪ unlimited cashback match... ♪♪ only from discover.
1:16 am
some people have joint pain, plus have high blood pressure. they may not be able to take just anything for pain. that's why doctors recommend tylenol®. it won't raise blood pressure the way that advil® aleve® or motrin® sometimes can. for trusted relief, trust tylenol®. rated everyone. kyle wrote “there's literally nothing to do but play games in vr." well kyle, how about experiencing a couple of years on the iss? whoa, are you guys seeing this? affirmative. kyle doesn't get it. ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ lots of vitamins a and c affirmative. and only 45 calories a serving. good morning, indeed. v8. the original plant-powered drink. veg up. [ echoing ] some of us were born for this. to protect people. to help them save.
1:17 am
with a home and auto bundle from progressive. ahh. i was born for this. and now it's prime time. cut. jamie, what are you doing? you're not even in this one. i thought it was thursday. sorry. -it is. -i thought -- i thought it was last thursday.
1:18 am
financial planning is finding your home away from home. -i ♪♪s. -i thought -- and, it's designing a plan to help get you there. start a relationship with citi and earn a cash bonus when you open a new eligible account and complete required activities. wealth management is planning your path together. and, it's guiding you along the way. start a relationship with citi and earn a cash bonus when you open a new eligible account
1:19 am
and complete required activities. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: you know our next guest from his work on "saturday night live," which airs this saturday on nbc with host paul rudd and musical guest charli xcx his new show "saturday morning all star hits!" is streaming now on netflix let's take a look. >> welcome to smash. i'm skip >> and i'm treybor >> and we are -- >> aaaaah! >> we got to get back 'cause we can't miss an all-new "strong hold." >> yeah, because i do a voice on it. >> oh, yeah, that's this week. >> yep, gets to make cartoonerooskis think my voice is totally zuzzyzazz >> what does that mean? > >> hey, if you have to zuzz, then you'll never zazz >> seth: please welcome back to the show kyle mooney, everybody! hello, kyle.
1:20 am
[ cheers and applause >> yo! >> seth: kyle, i say this so sincerely. i've always felt like you're someone, whenever you do something on "snl," i feel like, "oh, you have such an authentic and voice that is true to you, and yet i have never seen anything that is more hyper specifically kyle mooney than this show. you must be thrilled with how it turned out >> i feel great. and, yeah, that is the thing i feel like everybody is saying, is, "this is so you. i can't tell how i feel about that, because it's all based on children's cartoons, but at the same time, yes, this is the stuff that i love and i feel so great about it >> seth: it's basically, you play twins who are hosting a saturday-morning cartoon block, and they are '80s and '90s cartoons that, again, are so - it's an homage, right? it's safe to say, these are the things you love deeply
1:21 am
>> so much, i do think it could be an issue. [ laughter ] i mean, like, this is my life. and the show is presented as if it's taped off tv, so you're getting, like, commercials and news clips, and i play all of these characters we got to make these cartoons. but, seriously, this is the stuff that i feel like i've been studying for this since 1988 or something like that. >> seth: is this a case where you had to go back and try to remember what those cartoons were like, or have you been watching them continuously into adulthood? [ laughter ] >> no, no, i do, every day i have a pretty massive vhs collection, actually, and this is -- >> seth: this is your vhs -- for people who think you're lying, these are actually -- [ laughter ] and you will just have people over, right? fellow castmates, friends in new york, and say, "hey, you just grab a tape, my friend. >> you and i overlapped. do you remember that >> seth: i do, yeah, of course >> yeah.
1:22 am
[ laughter ] it's great, by the way, just to be around you. [ laughter ] but, yeah, my first year, how would you describe "saturday night live," as a job, hectic, stressful? how do you - >> seth: well, yeah, i think those are really accurate. and then especially starting at "snl" is the most daunting feeling in the world, because you have a day where you think, "i've joined comedy royalty. and then, your second day, you're like, "they're gonna cut my head off. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i loved saying that, too, just the whole "joining comedy royalty" line [ laughter ] but you're right, it only lasts for 24 hours [ laughter ] but, yeah, no, like, my first year, after the afterparties on saturday night, it was like 4:30, 5:30 in the morning, i would typically have some friends from the show come over, and we would just, i would say, pick anything off the vhs wall
1:23 am
and we would just smoke hookah and then watch, like "rainbow brite" or something like that. [ laughter ] and that was the only thing that could make me feel good. >> seth: yeah. last time you were here, you brought a bagful of vhs tapes just to give us a sense of the flavor of your work, of your library, as you like to say. >> yeah. >> seth: so, i'm gonna just pull these out. thank you for sending these over this is a perfect bag for them to be in >> i will say, seth, most of my tapes, the tapes you saw in that photo, those have all been moved to los angeles, basically. so, now my apartment in new york is empty, but i will open up drawers or cabinets and still find leftovers piles of vhs. there's too many, and it's always - it doesn't make me feel great about who i am, but i wanted to show you what i have truly, this was on, like,
1:24 am
tuesday night, i opened up my cabinet, and these are some of the things >> seth: tell us a little bit about "the miracle of the staircase. [ laughter ] >> yeah, that's just a really good movie about that spiral staircase. [ laughter ] >> seth: the cover is kind of giving a lot of it away? [ laughter ] >> yes, and so i do feel bad for the audience maybe you should put it away now because once you get to the -- it's a good movie, guys, and you're gonna want to see it. [ laughter ] >> seth: so, this one, i guess, is an instructional video. what's this one here [ laughter ] >> "gibbons the cat. [ laughter ] again, something i feel like everybody already knows. >> seth: i want everybody to picture who you think the woman who stars in this is, and then tell me if you thought it was her. [ laughter ] >> ann childers.
1:25 am
>> seth: ann childers? ♪ one of the greats. [ laughter ] >> seth: i feel like there's got to be something. tell me a little bit more about "kick time." >> "kick time," fun and fitness with kirby the clown and the "kick time" kids >> seth: yeah, he is a real clown. not just a clown in behavior, like a full child clown. it seems like i don't know if i'd want to learn kicking from a clown. [ laughter ] >> um, kirby is different. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, this is good, 'cause this seems to be, if your kid is hyper-specific in their wants, they probably wouldn't even believe this exists as a film [ laughter ] >> "i want to be a ship captain." see, you say "hyper-specific," but, for me, every other kid i went to elementary school with was like, "hey, we got to do it. [ laughter ] this was the goal. >> seth: right it's like, "one of us can't afford a ship, but if we chip in -- [ laughter ]
1:26 am
>> that's exactly what i said. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, my gosh now, i can't believe what this is promising is even possible, 'cause this is telling you they can teach you a thing in five minutes kyle, you've obviously had five minutes does this mean that you can do what this tape says you can do >> yes, i can do the macarena, and i can also get mad >> seth: you also what >> can get mad [ laughter ] now, if you -- what does the front say, there >> seth: the front says, "learn the macarena in five minutes with yasmina >> yeah, so, if you look at the back, i notice the fun thing about it, can you read the portion where yasmina is referenced >> seth: yeah, sure. "it's infectious and sexy. in this video, model and dance instructor yasmina will show you the basic moves, and then move on to some fun variations.
1:27 am
>> i don't know if you can see it, but "yasmina" is in quotes on the back. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> so i don't know what we need to know about yasmina. seems like, on the front, she's presented as the macarena queen we all know, but on the back, we're like, you know - >> seth: are you saying, maybe on the day of, the real yasmina didn't show? [ laughter ] >> i'm not saying anything [ laughter ] >> seth: there's two other things i just noticed on the back it says, "as a special bonus yasmina also demonstrates the steps for the 'dirty macarena.'" >> yeah. >> seth: "a sexy, new version that's on the upswing. [ laughter ] >> yeah, everybody's still doing that one [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, you're right. the macarena was a real, like, flash in the plan, but the dirty macarena, i feel like, had some real staying power [ laughter ] >> seth, when you just talk about it, images come into my head that maybe aren't appropriate for the audience [ laughter ]
1:28 am
>> seth: hey, there are two things i wanted to ask you about, because, again, they really seem true to the era. the kids' names, the twins' names, are skip, that one seems pretty on the nose, and then treybor. >> right >> seth: were you very happy when you came up with treybor? >> yeah, i mean, like, i think it started as skip and trey. and then it was truly just, like, "maybe it's treybor. [ laughter ] and then it was like, "yep, it's gonna be skip and treybor. [ laughter ] >> seth: it was like, "maybe it's treybor, and we all call it a day" >> yeah, exactly >> seth: i do like the catchphrase "zazzyzazz." that really felt like '90s morning tv to me >> "zuzzyzazz" - >> seth: oh, sorry, i apologize. [ laughter ] >> no, it's cool the internet is not gonna be happy about that, but you're find. "zuzzyzazz," yeah, that's one of skip's things, and we just wanted to come up with the best phrase and that was our attempt. [ laughter ] >> seth: i don't think anyone is
1:29 am
gonna argue with "zuzzyzazz" being the best phrase. hey, congrats again. >> and yasmina >> seth: yeah, well, yasmina [ laughter ] thank you so much for being here, man. the show is fantastic. congratulations. >> thanks so much, buddy. >> [ cheers and applause ] take care. seth: kyle mooney, everybody "saturday morning all star hits!" is streaming now on netflix, and don't miss "saturday night live" this weekend. we'll be right back with more "late night. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [hall & oates "you make my dreams" plays] ♪
1:30 am
new gifts arriving at a store near you for way less than you expect. at t.j. maxx, marshalls and homegoods. ♪♪ ♪♪ for people who could use a lift new neutrogena® rapid firming. a triple-lift serum with pure collagen. 92% saw visibly firmer skin in just 4 weeks. neutrogena® for people with skin. alright, here we go, miller in motion. wha — wait, wait, is that a... baby on the field?? it looks like it, craig. and the defensive linemen are playing peek-a-boo. i've never seen anything like that before. harris now appears to be burping the baby. that's a great moment right there. the ref going to the rule book here. what, wait a minute! harris is off to the races!
1:31 am
we don't need any more trick plays. touchdown!! but we could all use more ways to save. are you kidding me?? it's going to be a long bus ride home for the defense. switch to geico for more ways to save. nyquil severe gives you powerful relief for your worst cold and flu symptoms, it's going to be a long bus ride home for the defense. on sunday night and every night. nyquil severe. the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, best sleep with a cold, medicine. mr. clarke. your daughter is a very good kisser. when you crave the uncomfortable. try spicy pringles scorchin'. the peñas are saving big, holiday shopping at amazon. so now, they're free to become... the party peñas. they see your ugly sweaters, and raise you some mittens. ♪
1:32 am
♪ ♪ ♪ the ride of your life is closer than you think. for the first time ever, buy your new car entirely from home with nissan@home. delivered direct from dealer to driveway. ♪ [ sfx: ding ding ding ] [ phone buzzing ] delivered direct from dealer to driveway. [ sfx: bing bing bing ] [ sfx: bing bloop ding ding bloop bing ] the day can wait... enter the golden state, with real california dairy. i'm here to present the facts.
1:33 am
thousands of people and small businesses are trapped paying too much for wireless and still paying off their phone! but when you switch to t-mobile they will pay off your phone so you can keep your current number and your phone! objection! what if you bought your phone at at&t or verizon? t-mobile will pay it off! switch to t-mobile and we'll pay off your phone. now up to a thousand bucks. do you rest? i do - but t-mobile never rests. ♪ ohhh the joys of kfc quick pick up! ♪ this holiday season, remember the trick. the one that lets you skip the line and get your finger lickin' chicken finger lickin' quick. ♪ it's finger lickin' quick! ♪
1:34 am
♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: we are almost done for 2021, but after you nice people leave and go see your precious tree, i stay with my crew and record "corrections. it's where i answer to people who comment on our youtube page. i spend the whole week reading what you have to say, and i really try to thoughtfully respond. it's a lot of pressure but sometimes pressure can turn a chunk of coal into a diamond sometimes not. so go on youtube and see if you
1:35 am
get a shiny "corrections" diamond for christmas or just a dirty rock of [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ♪ financial planning is finding your home away from home. ♪♪ and, it's designing a plan to help get you there. start a relationship with citi and earn a cash bonus when you open a new eligible account and complete required activities.
1:36 am
hi honey! hi mommy! oh i missed you! you just want to video call the kids. ok. hush little baby...don't say a word... but if slow upload speeds turns your goodnight call into an accidental horror movie... can you hear me? shut it down. just remember. you're not a bad mom. you just need better internet. at&t fiber delivers faster upload speeds for more reliable video calls. get at&t fiber, plans starting at $35 a month for a year. limited availability in select areas. call 1.877.only.att.
1:37 am
wealth management is planning your path together. and, it's guiding you along the way. in select areas. start a relationship with citi and earn a cash bonus when you open a new eligible account and complete required activities. [ cheers and applause >> seth: i want to thank my guests, priyanka chopra jonas and kyle mooney. i want to thank fred armisen and the 8g band. stay safe. get vaccinated we love you. happy holidays [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ you might have received an email from your child's school. tonight the social media threat that has one campus closed

232 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on