[ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- penelope cruz. star of "law & order," actor hugh dancy director and producer paul feig. featuring the 8g band with larnell lewis. ♪ [ cheers and applause and now, seth meyers >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. we hope you're doing well tonight. and now we're going to get to the news the annual new york city st. patrick's day parade was held today after being canceled for two years because of the coronavirus pandemic of course, they've had to update

the buttons. [ laughter ] president biden is set to speak tomorrow with chinese president xi jinping, and biden is all set to remind china why they need us [ laughter ] netflix announced yesterday that the political satire show "servant of the people" that stars ukrainian president volodymyr zelenskyy will return to the platform. and they're also taking down putin's standup special. [ laughter ] "yeah, so just broke up with girlfriend feel bad [ light laughter ] so i bought her a trip to siberia. this guy knows what i'm talking about. president biden announced yesterday that the u.s. will provide a new assistance package for ukraine, which includes 800 anti-aircraft systems. we're giving them the best anti-aircraft system we have - drunk passengers [ laughter ] [ slurring ] "i'm not wearin' a mask.

[ laughter ] a cargo ship named "ever forward" is stuck in maryland's chesapeake bay after running aground on a sandbar and they're really rolling the dice by sending the "never sinks" to save it. [ laughter ] in a new interview with bloomberg, a sanctioned russian billionaire said that he now has to live on $3,300 per month. that's weird they're making him teach high school [ laughter ] [ muttering [ laughter ] officials in spain recently impounded a third superyacht that's believed to belong to a russian oligarch, mostly because they're not very creative with their boat names [ laughter ] republican pennsylvania senate hopeful dr. mehmet oz said yesterday that he would renounce his dual turkish citizenship if

he gets election elected, excuse me no word yet on when he'll renounce the title of doctor [ laughter ] transportation officials in new york yesterday announced plans to raise the flat fee for a taxi between jfk airport and manhattan to $65 that's crazy that's almost $15 an hour. [ laughter ] we mathed 'em. we fully mathed 'em. that's on us [ laughter ] we didn't even give them pens and paper or anything. [ laughter ] and finally, tomorrow is national awkward moments day this news first reported by the guy who was actually waving to the person behind you. [ laughter ] and that was a monologue, everybody. well - [ cheers and applause we've got a great show for you tonight.

she is an academy award-winning actress who's been nominated once again for her performance in "parallel mothers," which is in theaters and available on demand now penelope cruz is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause he is an emmy-nominated actor who stars in the amazing 21st season of "law & order," which you can see thursday nights here on nbc hugh dancy will also be joining me [ cheers and applause and he is a talented emmy-nominated writer and director who has not one but two shows out today -- "welcome to flatch," which you can see on fox, and "minx" over on hbo max paul feig will be my guest [ cheers and applause and, guys, here's the thing. i wrote a kid's book it's a picture book. it's not a joke. [ laughter ] okay, yesterday i said i wrote a kid's book, and i held it up and everybody laughed like it was going to be the start of some funny bit. [ laughter ] so that's why i'm bracing you now.

i wrote a real book. did i do the pictures? no [ light laughter ] there you go [ cheers and applause and it's for kids. it is for kids if you have kids -- my kids like it, which is great and i keep -- my publisher keeps telling me, which is so exciting -- it is the first kids' book ever -- there have been books with a bear or a rabbit it's the first one with both [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] name one, shoemaker. name one >> give me a minute. >> seth: what? okay you don't have a minute. you're out [ laughter ] moving on. republicans and right-wing pundits have created a mythology that is totally unmoored from reality in which donald trump was the one who was tough on vladimir putin and would've somehow stopped putin from invading ukraine for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause

>> seth: i feel like it's worth taking a step back and remembering the whole reason trump got impeached the first time i know it's hard to remember because trump melted all of our brains by overloading us with nonstop chaos and insanity history channel's going to have to launch its own version of espn 2 called "history channel stuff that happened three years ago. [ laughter ] "the year was 2019 'old town road' was at the top of the charts, and everyone was buzzing about the impeachment of one donald j. trump. give 'em hell, donald j.!" [ laughter ] trump got impeached specifically because he tried to extort ukraine to help him cheat in the 2020 election by holding up military aid in a phone call with ukraine's president volodymyr zelenskyy, the same zelenskyy who is now once again asking the u.s for more military assistance if you'll recall, zelenskyy specifically asked trump to provide more of an anti-tank missile system known as a javelin, and that's when trump tried to dangle the military aid over his head. zelenskyy told trump, "i would also like to thank you for your great support in the area of defense.

we are ready to continue to cooperate for the next steps specifically, we're almost ready to buy more javelins from the united states for defense purposes." to which trump responded, "i would like you to do us a favor, though." remember that? it's not your fault if you don't. to find that transcript, we had to send our researchers down into the bowels of 30 rock with flashlights and magnifying glasses to sift through rolls of microfiche like they were nic cage looking for a secret code hidden on the back of the constitution [ laughter ] when they found it after weeks of searching, they ran up to my office with an old piece of parchment in their hands, and they said, "mr. meyers, we found the transcript." and then i had to blow dust just to read the words. [ laughter ] and then i said, "dear god do you know old this is? this happened all the way back in - 2019." ♪ [ thunder booming [ applause ]

so trump used the aid ukraine desperately wanted as a bargaining chip to empower himself politically. and yet yesterday after zelenskyy's virtual address to congress pleading for more aid, house minority leader kevin mccarthy had the gall to claim it was joe biden who didn't give ukraine the military assistance they were asking for. >> i've had conversations with the president long before this moment came. my advice to him was provide them the armament earlier to deter putin from ever making this decisions and the entire time, president biden always said it would be the sanctions afterwards and then when the sanctions came, he said it'd take months to work. well, the ukrainian people cannot wait months >> seth: are you for real? does your cable package not have "history channel stuff that happened three years ago"? [ laughter ] you're saying biden is the one who should have given ukraine the aid sooner the guy you supported tried to extort ukraine like a mob boss counting singles in the back room of a strip club "please, mr. trump, you can't

tell my wife i was here. "that's no problem that's no problem at all [ laughter ] i would -- i would like you to do us a favor, though. i need you to help us plant some dirt on the mayor. you're going to tell people he married his cousin." "it's true, i did. it was an accident it was an accident [ laughter ] and it was only for 14 years." i think these guys genuinely believe we don't remember the trump administration at all. maybe they thought that thing trump does with his hands was a jedi mind trick. [ laughter ] of course, trump could never pull off a jedi mind trick because he doesn't have any focus. "these are not the droids you're looking for. i got these droids from my very good friend anakin skywalker anakin -- big guy, strong guy, came into me, came up to me, tears in his eyes. he said, 'sir. he said, 'sir, we love what you're doing for the star system [ laughter ] we love it.' you know he's darth vader now. anakin, he's darth vader not a lot of people know that. anyway, you were - [ laughter ] you were looking for some droids." they all want us to think trump magically would've fixed this by being tough on putin, when we

all know the opposite was true trump slobbered praise all over putin any chance he had and was desperate to be putin's friend and yet, trump apologists continue to craft this insane mythology where somehow trump would have stopped putin from invading ukraine some of them have even come up with elaborate allegories to explain trump's supposed toughness. >> they didn't do this on trump's watch, russia, because trump would have kicked their ass. >> this never would have happened under trump >> why didn't putin do this when trump was president? and i don't bring up president trump that much, okay? but i tell you right now that he didn't do it when trump was president. >> what we are seeing in ukraine, courtesy of russia, is merely a preview of what can happen when american - when america signals weakness. i read that in the jungles, the mighty do not have to fight. they say that when the bull elephant lives, the herd is peaceful and prosperous.

but in his absence, confusion, disorder and destruction ensues. well, when i get through speaking, the next voice you here will be -- in a little while, will be that of our own bull elephant, donald trump. >> seth: are you reading from a rejected children's book about donald trump [ laughter ] "you see, the bull elephant lives in the jungle with all the other animals, and when he's home, the herd is peaceful and because it is peaceful, he has time to use twitter. but because he only has a trunk to type with, there are often misspellings or things accidentally in all caps still, he is an elephant who tweets, and that's pretty cool." [ laughter ] also, can we go back to this real quick >> i don't bring up president trump that much. >> seth: yeah, me neither. [ laughter ] today is such a weird outlier. [ laughter ] for what it's worth, i think it's justified to bring him up

he's the leader of the republican party and their likely nominee in 2024 but, yes, i do talk about trump a lot. i even talked about him when my psychiatrist made me take an inkblot test but in my defense, it did look like this. [ laughter ] bull elephant! [ light laughter ] there was also another part of that jeanine pirro tirade i really enjoyed, where she went off on the biden administration for reaching out to social media influencers on tiktok to talk to them about the war in ukraine. >> biden is responsible for the decline of the west. what we are seeing right now is a -- i can't say the word -- is a wuss we've got a bully in the -- in the -- in the yard, in the playground yard, in the schoolyard, and everybody's back at the fence all right? >> how do you know >> wait a minute let me finish. [ light laughter ] all we have to do is we have enough oil in canada, the united states, and mexico, and we could be our own superpowers but right now, the biden administration is not only hurting the americans and all this #blameputin tiktok

nonsense all this is crap >> seth: i'm sorry i have to ask, who is mixing your drinks? [ laughter ] because, you know, you're supposed to put something nonalcoholic in there too, right? "i'll have a vodka soda, but replace the soda with tequila and replace the ice with whiskey and -- hold on, let me finish [ laughter ] replace the vodka with more vodka! [ laughter ] so, trump sycophants have all bought in to the ludicrous idea that trump somehow would have stopped putin. trump himself has repeated that claim on tv recently, although he's been weirdly vague about it >> this would not have happened during my administration in fact, some people were saying, "why didn't this take place over the last four years during our administration? and it didn't for a very good reason, and i'll explain that to you someday. >> seth: oh, well -- [ laughter ] by all means, keep that secret to yourself, former u.s. president. that's like if when covid hit, obama said, "now, i've got a cure, and i'm going to tell you

what it is, uh, when i'm good and ready. trump treats foreign policy like he's doing an ad for women's perfume. "what's your secret? "maybe i'll tell you about it. someday. >> someday by calvin klein [ light laughter ] >> seth: and then this week, trump's half-finished claymation sons picked up where he left off -- [ laughter ] with don jr. suggesting that trump should meet with nato next week instead of biden. he tweeted, "sending biden to europe for high-stakes nato talks will only embolden our enemies further. if you want to get something done right, send trump." why would nato want to see trump? he repeatedly slammed nato he's like their wwe wrestling villain. would they know he was there when they heard his entrance music? "so, we need to be careful about what steps we take next as to not inflame tensions and obviously -- [ "ymca" playing ] ♪ "my god. that's donald trump music! ♪ [ laughter ] and then don jr.'s copy of a

copy of a fax brother eric trump - [ light laughter ] -- went on tv and made a similar claim, but with even dumber reasons. >> listen, my father would, you know, call up and he would have said, "vladimir, don't even think about it don't even try us. i'm telling you, it's not going to work out very well for you. >> seth: you really think that's how the conversation would go? you sound like you're talking to a dog who's about to pee on the rug. [ laughter ] of course, if trump talked to a dog the way he talked to putin, he would immediately give in every time the dog complained. "sparky, don't do it don't even think about it. don't you dare don't you dare pee on the rug or i'll have to shake that jar full of loose change. [ dog growling ] or -- or, alternatively, pee wherever you want. [ laughter ] this is -- this is your house too, sparky. you're man's best friend, and that makes you as much of a human as i am. whiz away, just not on the good rug. [ dog growling ] or right in the middle of the good rug [ laughter ] i was just saying to melania i feel like this rug could use a big yellow wet spot. now we have it we worked together, and now we have it, sparky. [ light laughter ] in the last few days, there's been some cautious optimism that a diplomatic solution to this conflict might be possible even zelenskyy himself has hinted at a possible compromise.

that's what we need to do -- help the millions of ukrainians who are suffering and provide support for a possible peace deal what we don't need are reckless threats of escalation from people who think trump, of all people, would've put a stop to this the idea that donald trump would have been tough on vladimir putin is, quite frankly -- >> bull crap [ laughter ] >> seth: ooh [ laughter ] this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with penelope cruz. ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. ♪ your home... for adventure. your home... for romance. your home for big savings. [ laughs ] hey, mom, have you seen m-- ew. because when you bundle home and auto with progressive,

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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: give it up for the fantastic 8g band. all week long, we've had an incredible drummer sitting in with us. he's a world-class musician and educator you can hear with the grammy award-winning band snarky puppy. his latest album, "relive the moment," is available now at larnellewismusic.com from toronto, canada, larnell lewis is here with us! [ cheers and applause >> thank you so much >> seth: thank you for a great week, larnell. we really, really appreciate it. >> thank you >> seth: our first guest tonight is an academy award-winning actress you know from her work in films such as "vicky cristina barcelona," "volver," and "nine. she's received her fourth oscar nomination for her performance in "parallel mothers," which is in theaters and on demand now. let's take a look.

[ speaking spanish ] >> seth: please welcome to the show, penelope cruz, everyone. [ cheers and applause hello, penelope. welcome. >> hi. how are you? >> seth: i'm wonderful it's so lovely to see you. >> great to see you, too thank you so much. >> seth: this is so exciting not only is it your fourth oscar nomination, but your husband, javier bardem, also got nominated for an oscar i'm wondering, on the day, were your children -- how do they react to the news that both of their parents are oscar-nominated? >> well, they found out later, because when we saw them,

they - when we saw it live, it was 2:30 p.m. here, and they were in the school and then, when we told them later, the only question that my daughter asked me was if there was going to be any cake to celebrate. [ light laughter ] that was the only comment. and i think that's a very healthy reaction [ laughter ] >> seth: how long was the gap between when one of you found out you were nominated and the other one found out they were nominated? >> it was like probably like five minutes i mean, you know, a huge surprise to hear one name, then to hear the other one, too, is really, really something to celebrate. a part of me still doesn't believe it >> seth: this is also -- must be extra special. this is your seventh film with pedro almodovar, who you first worked with when you were a teenager, correct? >> yeah. i met him when i was 18 or 19. he called me when he saw my first two movies

and when he called me, i thought it was a joke, because it was my dream in my childhood and my teenager years to meet him, to thank him for all the work that he did, and maybe one day to work with him. so, yeah, when he called me, it was like an instant connection we felt like already we knew each other, and we decided to keep working together. and we've done seven movies together i hope many more >> seth: and this is a story, "parallel" - "parallel mothers" is based on a story that he told you about, decades ago, correct >> yeah, he told me the first time maybe like 20 years ago, when we were doing press for "all about my mother." and then he never mentioned the story again for so many years. and in the middle of the first lockdown -- covid lockdown -- he called me and he said, "i'm writing this for you, and this is the story." and i told him that i remembered every detail because he shared with me so long before >> seth: and your first film

with him, is it true that you did a scene with your future mother-in-law? >> yes, yes, with pilar bardem it was kind of a rehearsal of real life. i mean, thank god i didn't have to give birth in a bus like, that's what hap -- my character in the film. [ light laughter ] but, yeah, yeah, destiny had like a lot of plans for us it was a my first movie with pedro, and it was the opening of the film it was like only 10 minutes of the film, and i was giving birth in a bus for those 10 minutes. [ laughter ] >> seth: pedro really likes using you as a mother character. i think that that's safe to say. >> yes, he always saw my very strong maternal instincts. >> seth: yes >> and all the movies that i've done with him, i was either pregnant or i was a mother except for one movie called "broken embraces." all the other films, he has really taken advantage of that maternal instinct. [ light laughter ] >> seth: and now, your mother was a hairdresser.

and i'm wondering, did you ever pick up any of those skills? did they come in handy during this pandemic, when none of us could go get our hair done >> well, that's funny that you say that, because i'm always looking for victims, you know? [ laughter ] like people that let me cut their hair or do waxing or all the things that i learned there with my mother but i always try to cut people's hair, always and, yeah, it's true that during those times, i cut everybody's hair so i was happy about that. [ laughter ] and a lot of friends of mine, like my friend salma hayek, she has trusted me doing her hair and makeup, waxing, all kinds of things, so - >> seth: well, you must be good at it. has anyone ever -- i mean, even though it's a free haircut, has anyone ever demanded their money back? [ laughter ] >> no, they haven't. they haven't complained. i mean, you can try once if you want, you're more than welcome. [ laughter ] >> seth: sign me up. [ laughter ] i gave javier a hard time the last time he was here. i didn't really give him a hard time i said one of my favorite haircuts in any movie is his in "the counselor."

and i asked him what you felt about it when he had this hairstyle. will you tell us what your take was when you saw [ laughter ] >> i was kind of used to it already, because i've seen things like, uh -- "no country for old men," like, you know - >> seth: yeah. i guess that -- "no country" might be the least-sexy haircut in any film, ever. >> yeah, but he was so great in the film and, yeah, that was a really strange character to the one in "the counselor," but he was great also he's always so good. he's such a great actor. >> seth: you were both great in that film. i want to ask, you know, in these final days, is it a stressful time, or is it just exciting to be nominated for an oscar? >> it's just exciting, and it just makes me think about all the people that have been there, you know, from the beginning obviously, about pedro, because he has trusted me so much from day one, and he gives me all these incredible characters.

when i hear my name in a nomination like this, and it's the first time i think - i feel very grateful for my peers, my colleagues, the people that are voting for me, and for all the people that keep giving me great characters and good films and the opportunity to make a living out of this profession, out of this job. it was my dream all my life, growing up, to be an actor and when i said it to my parents, it sounded like i wanted to go to the moon because we didn't know anybody in our neighborhood or family or friends, anybody that could make a living out of anything related to the arts. so it just makes me think of all of them. also about my parents, that they didn't laugh at me when i said to them, "i want to be an actress. so, yeah, i feel very, very grateful, very grateful. >> seth: you're very lucky to have that support. and it really is a beautiful film i really want everybody to see it i don't want to give anything away talking about it, because it is really something to see. it's well-earned

congratulations, and thanks so much for being here. [ cheers and applause >> thank you thank you so much. >> seth: penelope cruz, everybody. "parallel mothers" is in theaters and on demand now we'll be right back with hugh dancy [ cheers and applause ♪ i'm a fancy exercise bike noobie. and i've gone from zero to obsessed in like... three days. instructor: come on milwaukee! i see you! after riding twelve miles to nowhere, i'm taking a detour. and if you don't have the right home insurance coverage, you could be working out a way to pay for this yourself. get allstate and be better protected from mayhem for a whole lot less. ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ lots of vitamins a and c get allstate and be better protected from mayhem

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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is an emmy-nominated actor you know from shows like "the path" and "hannibal. he stars in the 21st season of "law & order," which airs thursday nights, right here on nbc. let's take a look. >> find out what they were talking about. >> tried she made herself part of the defense team, filed an appearance at the arraignment. >> okay. so let's work with what we have. you've tried cases without motive before.

>> i have, but not first-degree murder and not when the defendant was a global icon. >> just tell the jury what you have and what you don't have >> seth: please welcome back to the show our friend hugh dancy, everyone [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: welcome >> thank you >> seth: i was telling you backstage, i am -- i am so happy to have this franchise back it's so nice to see sam waterston. to be in a room with him must be just a joy >> it's incredible it was amazing being in that room that you just saw with him, when he walked back into it after 11 years, i'm gonna say? >> seth: yeah. >> which i can only assume that his mind was melting but you just saw sam's face. you know, impassive, kind of - [ light laughter ] yeah, incredible >> seth: and this is, you know,

the last time you were, i guess, probably on an nbc show, you were fbi profiler will graham on "hannibal. and a fantastic show [ cheers and applause and maybe you would think -- you're currently playing an a.d.a., obviously dealing with new york crime and yet maybe easier than what will graham was dealing with >> nobody is trying to eat me. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> that should be the tagline. >> seth: that must be a nice departure. >> yes, it is. >> seth: if you enjoy hugh dancy and don't want to see him get eaten, this is the show for you, the new "law & order." >> but i'm not sure that people didn't want to see that. [ light laughter ] but it feels like a net positive >> seth: yes, it does feel like a net positive and you get to film in new york city. >> yes >> seth: and you have obviously done theater in new york city. and again, i think one of the joys of watching "law & order," especially for 21 seasons, is you saw so many incredible stage actors populate that cast over the years. >> literally every stage actor >> seth: yeah. >> i mean i've - again, sam says that he feels that dick wolf should get a tony for his services to the theater.

everybody i've worked with has been doing it, except for me, so now i feel - >> seth: so, this is a big deal for you to finally make it on to a "law & order." >> yeah. as somebody who's been lucky enough to work in the theater, but also somebody who lives here >> seth: yeah. >> it feels a little validating, for sure >> seth: and your wife, claire danes, has been on "law & order." >> i think i'm right in saying it was her first job >> seth: it was her first job? >> yeah. she played a murderer. >> seth: did she really? [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: good for her. that's a really good first job i feel like the best they would ever give me on "law & order" is the jogger who sees a body [ laughter ] >> you could be on the jury. >> seth: i wouldn't -- i'd want to be the jogger i want to be the jogger who's talking to another jogger about some real, you know, b.s., and then, all of a sudden, it's like, "oh, my god! [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: hard cut, then i'm talking to someone i'm like, "yeah, i was just jogging. >> in the background, talking to you. >> seth: overacting. [ laughter ] >> yeah. i mean, again, somebody has to do that job, you know. >> seth: somebody has to do that job. well, you know dick wolf now put in a word for me >> done. >> seth: thank you i would imagine it's also really cool to shoot on -

you know, the new york city streets are your set >> yeah. i mean, the advantage -- i play, as you say, the a.d.a., so i'm prosecuting. i'm in, like, the second half of the show, mostly lawyers, it turns out, are not the ones that go out into central park at midnight >> seth: that's true >> which is great for me >> seth: yeah. >> it's -- that's anthony anderson and jeffrey donovan. they're out there doing that good stuff, and i'm mostly in the studio, but it's great just again, the new york - just before i came here, i was in an italian butcher's, and a woman turned to me and said, "you're doing great on 'l&o.'" [ laughter ] i thought she said, "you were great on 'the ellen show.' >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and i thought to myself - this is, like, an hour ago, and i thought, "i was great on 'the ellen show,' but it was in 2003. [ laughter ] so that's a long memory she's got. >> seth: i wish you'd overreacted and said, "i've waited so long --" [ laughter ] >> exactly >> seth: "for someone to give me that feedback. >> yeah. >> seth: you're also in the new

"downton abbey" film that i guess, is a little bit more like your roots, a little bit more costume drama, which you did back in the early days was it nice to get back in those sort of british period pieces? >> it was. it was -- that kind of dropped out of the sky for me, post-pandemic. so there was a kind of feeling of massive relief, honestly, that i was working, but a strange feeling that i had been transported back 20 years in time in my own career. >> seth: yeah. >> but then, you know, to find myself in that stately home, surrounded by all those icons, you know, sipping tea and kind of gossiping in between takes, was amazing. >> seth: your boys are 9 and 3 do they engage with your work at all? is there anything of yours that they care about? >> well -- [ light laughter ] i mean, that's a tough question, seth >> seth: it's a tough age. >> yes, yeah, it is. and the youngest one probably doesn't really know enough to care, and the oldest one - well, actually, the oldest one, i took him -- i went to -- they screened today.

the people who made it screened "downton abbey" for me this morning. so before the italian butchers, that's where i was and i took him with me, boldly, some would say, because i didn't know what his response would be. but he came to love it >> seth: oh, that's really sweet. >> yeah. >> seth: that's all you can ask for. >> he turned to me in the middle of the screening and he said, "this is good. [ laughter ] "you're good." [ laughter ] "you're an actor." [ laughter ] the last bit, i'm still mulling over >> seth: yeah. >> 'cause it's accurate. >> seth: yeah. >> but it's also quite neutral [ light laughter ] >> seth: the thing that just gave me goosebumps is i feel like that would be the dream i would want my father to turn to me and say. and i'm like, "wait, does that mean you get a new father that's just a young one?" >> it was so validating. >> seth: yeah. >> and then, at the end, i said - and this is going to seem desperate because it probably was. but i said, "so, what was your favorite bit?" and he said -- honestly, he said, "the bit when they hired you." which, again, could have been a plot point in the movie when you see it

but it was ambiguous [ laughter ] "me, too!" >> seth: "we just need you to work, dad. we just need you to keep working. hey, congratulations again on the show it's so nice to see you. that's hugh dancy, everybody [ cheers and applause "law & order" airs thursdays at 8:00 p.m., here on nbc and "downton abbey: a new era" will be in theaters on may 20th. we'll be right back with paul feig. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ one-two-three ♪ ♪♪ ♪ uh, alright, uh! ♪ ♪ got to know how to pony ♪ ♪ like bony maronie ♪ ♪ uh! ♪ ♪ you know i feel alright? ♪ ♪ hah! ♪ ♪ i feel pretty good, yall ♪ ♪ uh! ♪ ♪ oww! ♪ ♪♪ ♪ ohh, help me! ♪ ♪♪

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it's ground-breaking delicious, and definitely the only burger that's meant to be dipped into heinz secret sauce and potato chip crunchers. it's the heinz dip and crunch bacon cheeseburger. i'm gonna dip out and get one now! my heinz dip & crunch bacon cheeseburger combo. only at jack in the box. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is an emmy-nominated writer and director behind films such as "bridesmaids" and "spy," as well as shows like "freaks and geeks" and "the office. he directed, produced, and wrote "welcome to flatch," which premiered today on fox and he also produced "minx," which also premiered today on hbo max. let's take a look. >> like, when you give a pill to a dog, you dip it in peanut butter first

so my question is, what's our peanut butter? >> i'm sorry, are you waiting -- >> it's nude men [ light laughter ] >> did you say nude men? >> but not like a schmutz right in the face, you know? classy, with your modern, you know, lady point of view >> are you mentally ill? >> you're the one who came up with the idea. >> yeah, that was a conversation of bon mot >> seth: please welcome to the show paul feig, everybody! [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: paul, it is wonderful to see you, and you have brought us martinis to celebrate two shows on the air today >> there you go. i got these out of jeanine pirro's dressing room, so, yeah, exactly. >> seth: i hope you left something. leave a little money, 'cause she will hunt you down you actually, during the

pandemic, you made 100 cocktails. one a day. >> yeah. >> seth: live-streamed >> yep >> seth: which is a lovely thing to do. did you at some point, though, get a little tired of doing it >> never never of making cocktails. no, but i vowed at the beginning of the pandemic, i knew i wasn't a medical professional, so i had to do something, so i thought, "i'll make cocktails every day, 5:00, for a hundred days in a row, no stopping." and we raised money for charity and all that, and made delicious cocktails. >> seth: well, you're very good at it. it's an excellent martini. >> thank you so much with my own gin, my artingstall's gin. i have my own gin. >> seth: well, you dress like a man who should have his own gin. >> there you go. thank you, thank you [ cheers and applause >> seth: so i want to talk about "minx" first that was a clip. >> yeah. >> seth: so, this is about the sort of launching a -- i guess you'd call it -- what would you call this magazine, a woman's magazine >> well, it's kind of a fictional retelling of the story of how "playgirl" magazine got started, but with all new characters and everything. ellen rapoport created the show. and you know, jake johnson is so funny. it's literally the role he was born to play and ophelia lovibond and it's just a really fun, funny show

takes place in 1971. lots of laughs and tons of male nudity >> seth: tons of male nudity >> tons of male nudity >> seth: i should note, male nudity presented very matter-of-fact >> yeah. >> seth: i guess, the way it would be if you were about to put it in a magazine >> well, that's the thing. we didn't want the show to be lurid, so it's about this -- basically, jake plays the publisher of a lot of naked magazines, but for women so when you get there the first time and she, you know, our star tours the place, it's just a bunch of people naked, standing around, smoking cigarettes, waiting to do their job. so it's immediately not sexy it's just like a workplace comedy >> seth: there you go. >> there you go. and lots of dongs. >> seth: lots of dongs it's like "the office" with dongs. [ laughter ] >> that's the pitch. >> seth: that's the pitch. but what was it like when you went and pitched >> well, we drove around ellen had a trunkful of old "playgirl" magazines, and we would show up with a giant pile, spread them out. everybody loved to see those, and we had a great time and we'd have a great pitch and then we'd leave and go like, "well, they bought it. and then you get a call, "well, they don't want to do it, 'cause it's too whatever. >> seth: "but they will buy the magazines. >> "they will buy the magazines," exactly. [ light laughter ]

but eventually, hbo max stepped up, and we got to make the show. and it was just so much fun. >> seth: you -- so you moved out to l.a. in the '80s? >> yeah, '81, to be a tour guide at universal studios >> seth: and how were you as a tour guide >> i fell in jaws lake >> seth: did you really? >> yes, i did. yeah if you've ever been on the tour, they have jaws lake, and you go out on this dock, and then it, like, tips, and then the shark comes out and does all this stuff. well, this is '81. so, some lady was wearing clogs, and the thing tipped and her clog fell in the water and so we come out, and she goes, "my clog --" so, i go, "oh. so, i clamber back out onto this dock, and i'm reaching out to get it and the dock resets, and i go headfirst into the water as jaws is backing up to reset so i almost got killed by jaws in reverse [ laughter ] >> seth: getting killed by a fake jaws would be somehow less dramatic >> yeah, that's just a funny death, but i don't want to have a funny death. that's all i ask >> seth: so, "flatch" is an adaptation of a british show and you also worked on the american "office." >> yeah. >> seth: and so was that helpful? like, going through that process

again and taking a beloved british property and making it - adapting it to the united states? >> yeah, it was, yeah, because "flatch" is based on a show called "this country," which was on bbc and yeah, what we found out on "the office" is that american audiences don't love rooting for terrible people as the lead character. >> seth: yeah. >> you know? and so, like, on that, the first six episodes we did on "the office," he was mean, but they didn't like it, and then "the 40-year-old virgin" came out, and people were, "oh, he's nice." so then we made him more well-meaning [ laughter ] and this one is just great it's just about these two cousins who live in this small town in the middle of ohio and just about the people in the town it's a lovely, super fun, comfort-food kind of show. >> seth: and you pulled from your own small town experiences with "freaks and geeks." so, is that nice to return to that >> yeah, it's really fun it's fun to write scripts -- 'cause basically these two characters are so kind of "arrested development" that i can just bring up stories that i did when i was a kid and one of the things i wrote as an episode is they start a dance school and i did that i started a dance school in my garage and charged all the kids in the neighborhood a dollar

>> seth: yeah. >> and this was the dance i invented may i? >> seth: oh, great [ cheers and applause >> manage your expectations, because here it comes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ♪ there you go [ cheers and applause and within five minutes of the class ending, a bunch of older brothers came over and threatened to beat me up if i didn't give their money back >> seth: i was gonna say, i'm surprised there hasn't been a class action when you first went to l.a., you thought you'd be in front of the camera, right? >> yeah, i went there to be an actor, and i was an actor. i was on a lot of -- i was a regular on five tv shows, and i was mr. poole on "sabrina the teenage witch" for the first season >> seth: wow >> yes, "mitosis is," if you remember that. >> seth: and so when did the moment - when did it dawn on you that your future path in hollywood was gonna be behind the camera >> well, i always wanted to write and direct and when we finished the first

season of "sabrina," i was like, "oh, my god. you know, it was a hit show, so, like, i made money so i was like, i'm gonna take all my money and sink it into this independent film that i wrote and directed and starred in, that i shot in six days. and finished that with all the money i had in the world and then they called me up and said, "oh, we're not gonna bring you back to the show." so then i was out of work and out of money my wife was looking at me like, "what did you just do? and i had a terrible year of just trying to sell that movie couldn't get it anywhere, but during that time, then i wrote the script for "freaks and geeks. >> seth: well, it certainly i think ended up being the perfect path for you and it's so nice to have you here congratulations on two shows >> thank you, seth [ cheers and applause >> seth: you guys, that's paul feig. "welcome to flatch" airs thursdays on fox, and "minx" is streaming on hbo max we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ so with geico, we can easily bundle home and car insurance and save even more? yeah, home, car, motorcycle, all bundled together. just like that breakfast burrito. so, can i get chorizo?

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we're going to be rich! i'm going to be rich. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: well, it's thursday, and that means that after this

lovely audience leaves, i will stay behind with my loyal crew and record a special st. patrick's day edition of "corrections." what makes it a st. patrick's day edition? i'll be super drunk -- on revenge [ laughter ] you can look for mistakes all you want, jackals of the internet, but you'll never steal my pot of gold look for "corrections" on youtube tomorrow and nurse your hangover with the sweet milk of vengeance! [ laughter ] we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ♪ centuries ago, native californians thrived on this land. now, we share a destiny with all californians. when voters granted our sovereign nations exclusive gaming rights, it advanced self-sufficiency and created thousands of good jobs. but now, out of state corporations are coming to california. their online sports betting initiative

would break the promise between us. it's bad for tribes and all californians. join us. protect the promise.

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and how over the past few years we've become more than employer/employee. we've become friends >> seth: oh. >> and as your friend, i'd like to tell you something. >> seth: is it to get out so you can set up for the "amber ruffin show" tomorrow night on peacock? >> no. it's to get the hell out so we can set up for my show see? you got to yell it >> seth: all right stay safe. get vaccinated get boosted. we love you! >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ right now at 11:00, heartbroken and in shock. a growing memorial for a 13-year-old boy, hit and killed by a truck