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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  March 24, 2022 12:37am-1:37am PDT

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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- sandra oh. star of "b positive," actor and writer thomas middleditch. an all-new "closer look. featuring the 8g band with todd sucherman ♪ [ cheers and applause and now, seth meyers >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. we hope you're all doing well, and now we're going to get to the news president biden announced yesterday that the u.s. is banning all imports of russian gas and energy and then, for emphasis, he biked away
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[ laughter ] house democrats are set to travel to philadelphia tomorrow for their annual three-day retreat, and biden's already practicing his trust falls [ laughter ] dude you're supposed to wait for another person the united nations has reportedly instructed its communications staff not to describe the conflict in ukraine as a war or an invasion. how else would you describe it oh, it's just a little uninvited drop-in. no worse than urkel. [ laughter ] republican senator ted cruz claimed during a recent meeting that almost every time he flies, the captain or flight attendant will hug him because he does not support vaccine mandates are you sure they're hugging you? they might be trying to wrestle you off the plane and back to your job "well, thank you very much." "we're not thanking you! [ laughter ] president biden told americans yesterday to expect higher gasoline prices amid the russian invasion of ukraine, and called
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it "putin's price hike." also, he has some bad news about putin's prescription drug prices "ah, i'm gonna try to sneak that one in, too. republican senator susan collins met yesterday with president biden's supreme court nominee, judge ketanji brown jackson, for 90 minutes "after meeting with her, i don't think she's qualified for the position," said judge jackson. researchers at the university of georgia said last week that the east coast is set to be inundated this spring by the joro spider, a large invasive species that uses its webs like a parachute in order to fly. which brings us to our new segment -- "not now. ♪ >> seth: not now, joro spider! read the room. we're still dealing with a deadly pandemic, a war in ukraine, global warming, and rampant crime. you can't even get swatted with a newspaper because we need the newspaper to actually read if it's safe to go outside.
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not now! oh, you know the cdc isn't going to be able to handle this. they'll announce that we should all be stomping the joro spiders, then two days later, they'll be like, "wait, wait no, stomping just makes them mad! [ light laughter ] seriously. please, not now. if we get infested with spiders now, we can't even afford the gas to burn our houses down. not now, joro spiders. ♪ >> this has been "not now. >> seth: the athletic apparel brand lululemon yesterday unveiled its first-ever running shoe the sneaker will give you the grip and the support you need when you're demanding to speak to a manager [ laughter ] today was donald trump jr.'s fiance, kimberly guilfoyle, 53rd birthday. and don't worry about getting her anything -- she already has what she deserves. charles entenmann of the famous entenmann's baked-good franchise has died at the age of 92. said moms, "ehh, should still be good. [ laughter ]
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sorry, we have a -- we have a brand-new writer who thought that joke would -- what's that? oh, it was head writer alex baze, who's been doing this longer than anyone "they're gonna love it people love entenmann's cake they'll love a joke about how the guy died." [ laughter ] yet, i had to do it. you know why 'cause i'm scared of him [ laughter ] oh okay, that's better. he's not really dead he is? oh, he is. a man in georgia was recently -- this is all -- baze wrote that part, too. a man in georgia was recently sentenced to three years in prison for allegedly using part of a coronavirus relief loan to buy a pokémon trading card or, as he's telling his cellmates, killing a guy amid retirement rumors, green bay packers quarterback aaron rodgers has reportedly decided to remain with the team for at least one more variant.
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[ laughter ] and finally, according to a new poll, 39% of new yorkers said that they're planning to move out of the state said their friends, "uhh, i'm busy that weekend. and that, you guys, was a monologue. [ cheers and applause we're off and running and we got a great show for you tonight she's a wonderful actress you know from shows such as "killing eve" and "grey's anatomy. she's starring in the new disney pixar film "turning red," which you can stream on disney+ this friday sandra oh is here! [ cheers and applause so happy to have her here inperson he's a very funny man you know from the fantastic hbo series "silicon valley. you can currently see him in the cbs sitcom "b positive." thomas middleditch will be back on the show. [ cheers and applause but before -- before we get to all that, republicans immediately started attacking president biden for high gas prices after he announced a ban on russian energy imports, while ukrainian president volodymyr zelenskyy bravely defied an increasingly isolated and desperate vladimir putin
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for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: authoritarian regimes depend on stifling the flow of information and creating alternate realities, and that can even apply to the autocrats themselves in fact, dictators often occupy their own alternate realities, which seems to be what's happening with vladimir putin. he's the only person in the world who seems to think this is a good idea, this horrific war, and he's increasingly isolated from outside voices, both figuratively and literally he makes even his highest-ranking officials sit at the other end of a giant room in televised meetings, and even when they sit at the same table, he chooses the longest table he can possibly find. i mean, what's that about? it looks like he's playing shuffleboard in a college bar. [ laughter ] next he's going to make them meet in the pods from "love is blind." "vlad, why are you upset both jessica and lisa said you are their number one." "yes, but i cannot tell if they said that because they like me or because they're required to say it by law.
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the point is putin is clearly isolated even from his top officials. in fact, ukrainian president volodymyr zelenskyy is defying putin by doing the exact opposite he posted a video of himself in his office, revealing his location earlier this week, despite the fact that putin is after him. >> just moments ago, ukrainian president volodymyr zelenskyy posted this video on facebook. it's the first time he's been seen in his official office since russia invaded his country. zelenskyy saying at the top of the video, quote, "i'm staying in kyiv in my office i'm not hiding and i'm not afraid of anyone," unquote >> seth: damn, that is incredibly brave i don't even let our cue card guy wally know where i am until the show starts. he's always trying to get me to invest in his new line of "wallmark" greeting cards. >> seth, we have cards for every occasion birthdays! holidays >> seth: no one wants to invest in this idea >> why >> seth: the cards are too big >> we provide the envelope >> seth: we will have this conversation later [ light laughter ] >> sounds like someone just went from a no to a maybe
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>> seth: wally [ laughter ] anyway, putin very clearly is living in a bubble and he wants everyone else to join him in that bubble. his regime has been cracking down on independent media, rounding up protesters by the thousands, and passed a law making it illegal to call russia's invasion of ukraine a war. >> tonight, inside russia, the president signing a new law passed by parliament making it illegal to distribute so-called false information about the military operation calling the operation in ukraine an invasion or a war could be illegal. breaking the law could result in up to 15 years in prison >> seth: that's right, they're not even allowed to call it a war or invasion anymore. in fact, the list of kremlin-approved phrases includes -- "special military operation," "destination wedding," "vlad's happy fun time," and of course, "yada yada yada." so, putin is isolated, unhinged, and disconnected from reality if he thinks this is going to end well the russian economy is being squeezed by intense international sanctions, and the global condemnation has been
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swift and all-encompassing russia has been essentially cut off from the global financial system russian oligarchs are having yachts and villas seized major american companies are suspending their business in russia and on top of all that, president biden announced yesterday that the u.s. would ban all russian energy imports, which might make this a good time to pause and acknowledge how insane it is that we continue to buy oil from brutal regimes like russia and saudi arabia, as democratic senator chris murphy pointed out yesterday. >> let's just admit the insanity of a u.s. economy that continues to run on oil that is provided to us by dictators the reality is, if we're not getting this oil from russia, we're likely going to be importing more from another brutal dictator, in saudi arabia for instance or we may have to go to venezuela for oil. we should ultimately learn our lesson here and become energy independent and choose to invest in clean domestic energy so we never have to choose between one dictator versus another. >> seth: yeah, i mean, wouldn't be it nice if we could generate our own clean energy through renewable sources like wind and
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solar instead of begging murderous crazy people not to gouge us then at least we'd never have to watch another u.s. president hold a weird glowing orb and do a sword dance with saudi royals like he's auditioning for a non-flipping role in cirque du soleil i will give them credit for one thing. they found a way to make trump look even dumber than he normally looks, just bobbing his head, wagging around a limp sword like a wet pool noodle they should have just keep giving him increasingly stupid tasks and telling him he had to do it to please the saudi royal family "alright, mr. president, and now we shall commence the dance of the butterfly. "alright, but why am i - [ laughter ] why am i the only one in wings, guys?" living in a world where we derive our energy from clean, renewable sources would be so much better for so many obvious reasons, including the fact that it would take power away from oppressive oil-based dictatorships. right now they have far too much power over both global and domestic politics. because as you've probably noticed, gas prices hit a record high this week the numbers are so shocking, i drove by a station that had
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"viewer discretion advised" on the sign both republicans and democrats had called on biden to ban russian energy both parties and yet you probably won't be shocked to learn that republicans also attacked him for high gas prices. like tennessee senator marsha blackburn, who tweeted, "under president trump, gas was about $2.17 in 2020. that's true. and famously, that was the only thing happening in 2020. "the low gas year," as we called it. i'm just spitballing here, but maybe low gas prices had something to do with the fact that we were all trapped in our homes and no one was going anywhere price goes down when demand goes down that's why you can get a dvd player for like $11 now, or a wallmark card for free [ light laughter ] not now! it's easy to lower gas prices when no one is using gas to commute or travel or fly on airplanes. that's like presiding over a zombie apocalypse and bragging that rents are lower than ever but, yeah, now that you do
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mention it, i do remember when i was fleeing the city to avoid a highly contagious respiratory virus that decimated the u.s economy and trapped everyone in their homes without toilet paper, not knowing if their jobs would ever come back or their families would survive, looking up at the gas prices and thinking, "wow, $2.17 a gallon." [ laughter ] "thank you, president trump. [ laughter ] just to clear a few things up, biden has actually outpaced trump in issuing drilling permits, despite promising to end new drilling on federal land also, it's worth noting that oil companies' profits soared to $174 billion in 2021 chevron alone raked in over $15 billion in annual profits. and in february, bp reported its highest profit in eight years. maybe they could use some of that money to lower gas prices instead of stock buybacks or shooting glossy commercials full of healthy-looking sea turtles or at the very least, they could pay for some better programming on those damn gas station tv screens i mean, what kind of low-rent tv show agrees to be shown on the outside of a gas pump?
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>> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night. we hope you're doing well tonight, and now we are going to get to the news. >> seth: damn it, i forgot in my defense, i forgot we made that deal. [ laughter ] even worse, when we made it, they said, "we can pay you in gas or slim jims," and i yelled "slim jims!" i mean, i was thinking, if anything was due to have a price hike, you know at some point, they're going to run out of jims. so, the gop complaints about gas prices are obviously cynical, hollow politics. and by far the dumbest example came from colorado congresswoman lauren boebert on fox news last night when she tried to slam the biden administration, but seemed to lose her train of thought >> here's biden's energy policy -- anyone but america opec, venezuela, you name it if it's not american energy, joe doesn't want it. jesse, under president trump, america became net -- uh, a net energy exporter for the first time in decades, and became the world's number-one producer in oil president trump unleashed our energy potential so i say we should -- we should
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be relying on our guys to do the work, not opec and i don't know who's running the federal government these days, joe biden or prince john from, uh -- prince john. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] you know, prince john, from prince john. in all seriousness, and i want to be charitable here because she is a member of congress and an elected official, so even if we disagree, i want to engage with her in good faith here's my sincere and honest question what the [bleep] are you talking about? [ laughter ] that was like when you're watching a movie with your mom and she says, "hey, it's that guy from 'goodfellas,'" and you say, "yeah, we're watching 'goodfellas.'" [ laughter ] i mean, just try and figure out what she might be talking about. i googled prince john, and this was on the first page of results. >> this crown gives me a feeling of power power! forgive me a cruel chuckle ha-ha-ha-ha-ha mm, power. >> seth: in fairness, he is a political figure, i guess. prince john.
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you know, from prince john i'm sure in an alternate timeline, lauren boebert isn't in congress, she's just writing hate mail to disney to complain about how rarely they open the vault. "thanks to joe biden, cruella can only afford 78 dalmatians! this person should not be an elected official from now on, instead of calling her congresswoman lauren boebert, i'm just going to call her lauren boebert from lauren boebert as we're seeing play out in real time now, autocracies and dictatorships depend on stifling the truth, which is why putin is so desperate to crack down on independent media and stay isolated even from his closest officials. we should be investing in clean, renewable energy sources so we don't have to buy oil from dictators anymore -- you know, from saudi arabia, or from vladimir putin, or - >> from, uh -- prince john >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with sandra oh, everybody ♪
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>> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. ♪ ("unstoppable" by sia) ♪ ♪ i put my armor on, show you how strong how i am ♪ ♪ i put my armor on ♪ ♪ i'm unstoppable today ♪ ♪ i'm so powerful ♪ ♪ i'm unstoppable today ♪ ♪ unstoppable today ♪ ♪ unstoppable today ♪ ♪ i'm unstoppable today ♪ ♪♪ (music throughout) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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(vo) discover more in the all-new subaru outback wilderness. love. it's what makes subaru, subaru. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: give it up for the fantastic 8g band right over there! back with us tonight on drums, he's an in-demand virtuoso currently playing with rock legend styx. the band is currently on tour in support of their new record "crash of the crown. be sure to follow him on
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instagram @toddsucherman for more information todd sucherman is here, everybody. thank you -- [ cheers and applause >> thank you, seth >> seth: so much for being with us, todd [ cheers and applause our first guest tonight is an emmy-nominated actress who you know from her work on "grey's anatomy" and "killing eve." she stars in the new disney/pixar film "turning red," which is available on disney+, starting this friday let's take a look. >> aaah! >> oh. [ breathing heavily >> this isn't happening, this isn't happening. [ whimpering ] [ suspenseful music plays >> bleh. [ whimpering ] wake up, wake up, wake up. >> is everything okay? >> don't come in here! >> what's going on, honey? are you sick is it a fever, stomach ache, chills, constipation >> no. >> wait, is it that? >> seth: please welcome back to the show, our friend sandra oh, everybody! [ cheers and applause ♪
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♪ >> aww >> seth: isn't it lovely >> people! >> seth: people! >> people! >> seth: because, last time, we spoke in middle of pandemic. >> mid-pandemic. >> seth: you were at your sister's house >> i was quarantined for two weeks. >> seth: that's right, you were all alone. >> i was all alone, quarantining in north vancouver at my sister's >> seth: yep, and i think, like all of us, you were a little stir-crazy, had cabin fever. and most of the interview is you running around with the laptop, showing me your sister's house >> yes, yes. >> seth: how did she feel about that >> she wasn't pleased. >> seth: yeah. >> she wasn't pleased. but it's a bit of reality, 'cause it's, like, beside the -- you know, those cat things that it's like a little - it's a carpet thing? >> seth: yes >> right is the ping-pong table that's beside the piano in the living room. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ]
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>> seth: it was, right i should note, it wasn't a case of you saying, "let me show you the beautiful decor. it was more like you were like, "this place is crazy." [ laughter ] so i think your sister has every right. i mean, here she is, housing you through a quarantine, and yet, there you are, shaming her house on national television >> no, no, no, no. it's actually more of just being that perfect little sister >> seth: oh, interesting >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: oh, so, you wanted to bust her on this >> she's, like, a serious lawyer lady. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> right you got to put a little bit of, like, you know -- fun in it, and i think that i've always provided that for my family, shamelessly. >> seth: shamelessly >> shamelessly >> seth: it must be fun to be making - i mean, obviously, we talk about family this is, you know, disney pixar always makes family films, but this is what about a family? you play a mother who has very high hopes for a daughter who is going through, like a lot of - like every kid, like these changes of getting older and it just seems like a wonderful film to have been a part of. >> it is you know, our director, domee, she won an oscar for a short film, "bao." she describes it as magical puberty.
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>> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> so, when my child, right -- so, it's basically, you know, "turning red" is centered on a 13-year-old chinese-canadian girl who's going through puberty and her relationship with her mom, which needs to change but the metaphor of the red panda is like the messiness of puberty and changing. you see, she's like, "what is this body? what is this smell?" and it's so great to see, you know, on any animated, or any picture. but like, you know, a pixar picture that explores unabashedly also the inner life of a girl, where it's like, "i don't like myself. what's going on? what are these emotions? that's really what it's about, yeah. >> seth: that's a really cool thing to work on >> i related so much to the 13-year-old character of meilin. but for me, i was like -- you know, i was just really emotional and hyperactive. >> seth: did your family know what to do with you? >> no, but the thing is, it's, like, no matter what, you know, as a parent, 'cause i play ming, the parent, i don't think that you're ever going to understand or be prepared for when the
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child changes and turns into, like, a hairy beast. >> seth: yeah. >> and then he's not doing what you want, you know and the reverse, obviously it's like, you know, it's really focusing on a young person's point of view, who's just so confused about this time, you know so, the "turning red," there's one part of it i really feel, like, so proud of, is that it gives some sort of language for kids and for adults to talk about this time called puberty, which is gonna come. so a lot of emotions and, "you're gonna probably i'm probably going to disappoint you." >> seth: that's very helpful a helpful thing to go through. when we first met, it was when you were here doing "snl." but before you had hosted "snl," you hosted the golden globes with my friend andy samberg, who is supposed to go through puberty any day. >> yeah, finally we're waiting. [ laughter ] >> seth: we're waiting >> we're waiting >> seth: i thought it would maybe happen that globes week. [ laughter ] >> it was very stressful >> seth: but it was a thrilling combination at the time. do you have fond memories of getting up there with him? >> well, he has such great
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leadership, honestly >> seth: he really does. >> yeah, he has great leadership and what i was so unfamiliar with is how you people work, how you "snl" people work. it's crazy it's just crazy, and it's insane but it's very, very thrilling. i thought it was really, really challenging. so, you know, the way that he brought so many of the writers that are here on your show >> seth: a lot of our writers came out for that week they had a great time. >> and the way that you basically do it. so, basically, i'm the type of actor who really, really would prefer a script. >> seth: yep >> and so it was something that was slid under the hotel door on the saturday night before the sunday globes. and so i was terrified but it was really fun. >> seth: andy has often complained to me that there was what he believed was an a-plus bit in the golden globes >> oh, yeah. >> seth: this was the year that bradley cooper and lady gaga were in "a star is born. and there was a scene in that movie where jackson maine, bradley cooper's character, urinates onstage at the grammys. >> yes
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>> seth: and andy wanted to do that at the globes >> yes [ laughter ] yes, i wanted to do that, too. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> it was gonna be, like, they wrote this serious monologue i was gonna be talking with a serious monologue. and then andy was -- he had the costume and everything but it's actually really hard to kind of, like, show pee. >> seth: it's harder than you think, yeah. >> it's harder than you think. >> seth: there's a certain kind of khaki that shows it off the best [ laughter ] and i know that from, uh, middle school. [ laughter ] there was a time where i was turning red. [ laughter ] yeah, but, like, there was an actual rig i should note that he wasn't physically doing it. >> no, we went all the way to, like, rehearsal. again, i think, like "saturday night live," you will do bits and skits that, on the day, they'll decide to cut >> seth: my favorite thing about my friendship with andy is, he'll call you really depressed. and then, when you find out the reason, it's the best. you know, he's like, "i'm super bummed." i'm like, "oh, what happened?" he's like, "aw, they won't let me do this pee bit at the golden globes. [ laughter ] i'm like, "i think you're gonna be okay. oh, by the way, can i ask one
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question, 'cause we both know him he thinks my dog is ugly and looks like a rat [ laughter ] >> oh, okay. >> seth: can i show you a picture of my dog? >> sure. >> seth: alright, and you either say "andy" if you agree with andy or say "seth" if you agree you've never seen my dog >> i've never seen your dog. >> seth: ready >> yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] like a rat >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] this is already taking too long. >> seth -- >> seth: thank you very much that's a real -- >> i'm focusing on the body. >> seth: yeah. >> the body does not look like a rat. >> seth: what about the face >> the head does >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] we're gonna be right back. we have more to talk about i'll be right back with sandra oh. >> oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ singing and driving ♪ ♪ playing the drums ♪ ♪ what could be better ♪ ♪ taking a nap ♪ ♪ drive a friend home ♪ ♪ stop for a snack ♪ ♪ things you can't do ♪ ♪ using an app ♪
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when people say, "what do you talk about during the commercial break? we were genuinely just sitting here talking about andy samberg. and why he's a bad guy about my dog.t things a person would be emotional about, you hav>> set congratulas >> yeah, it just started airing. yeah, yeahne like a lot of shows that had to do this during a tricky time, shooting a final season in the middle of covid must've been - it must have tempered a little bit how you can be celebratory >> true. and also, it really, really limits how much you can travel you know, the show is a very international show, and it still remains that but this year during covid, you know, like many other shows, you couldn't really travel we couldn't really travel that much so even though we have exotic locations, it's "exotic locations. >> seth: yeah, a lot of exteriors. >> yeah, yeah. a lot of exotic locations in the u.k. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: did you have any sense when you started making the show -- i know you'd worked on
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it for a while before it started -- that it was gonna be a hit like this? because it was a very unique show, very singular when it first came out >> i don't think you can ever tell, you know, but the timing was right. the timing was right, and one of the things i'm so proud of is the unique voice of it and the fact that it completely focuses on women, you know, and complex female characters. and i think that our show just hit at the right time. you know, the genre of it, the humor of it. you know, i feel like my and jodie's chemistry is really, really great so, you know, it was really emotional and very challenging to film the finale, but it's out there now. >> seth: the show is so well written, but it's hard to imagine it with a different cast what was it like seeing those words being read by you, jodie, fiona, the other people involved in the show, the first time you sat down at a table read >> you must know it, right it's like when you do a table read, right, which you've done a bajillion times - >> seth: yeah. >> it's the crackle. >> seth: yeah. >> and it's that crackle, and then you can feel -- it's such a mysterious thing,
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but it happens a lot in theater when everyone in the room can feel like, "oh, it's happening." >> seth: yeah. >> it's happening. and not only that, the next steps you're going to have with great actors, you're going to put that on set, on film so, i mean, for me, i remember like particularly fiona shaw, who plays carolyn -- i completely, utterly fan-girled out when i first met her i don't know if you know, but she is a remarkable theater actress, a very, very well-known, very well-regarded theater actress. and i saw her in "medea" on broadway in 2003, right? i don't know if you know the play >> seth: that's the real deal. >> right, it's the real deal and so, when i when i met her, i did the very, very last moment, and like, come on. it's like, "hi, fiona! i saw you in 'medea' this was your last moment! and i acted it out for her >> seth: people love that. >> i know, right [ laughter ] but we're friends now. >> seth: okay, good. it worked out. >> it worked out well. >> seth: i have one more thing to ask you about so, you have a new film coming out, which seems like very different than disney pixar. >> yes, also a mother-daughter relationship >> this is "umma." >> yes >> seth: and this looks
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terrifying >> [ laughs it is. it's a psychological horror that is also based with a complex relationship between a mother and a daughter >> seth: you know, it's a -- it's a -- it's a rich vein, those relationships. >> it is i mean, i really do really like playing it you know, again, it's, you know, two young female, actually asian american filmmakers who are, like, exploring stories about mother >> seth: wow >> you know, it's the primary storytelling >> seth: that's great. >> yeah. >> seth: hey, it is always just such a delight to see you. thank you so much for being here in person. >> thank you [ cheers and applause >> seth: you guys, that's sandra oh. "turning red" is streaming this friday on disney+. we'll be right back with thomas middleditch [ cheers and applause ♪ getting the incredible iphone 13 without t-mobile, makes as much sense as playing hide-in-seek... ready or not, here i come... in the desert. uhh. really guys? t-mobile has more 5g bars in more places.
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centuries ago, native californians thrived on this land. now, we share a destiny with all californians. when voters granted our sovereign nations exclusive gaming rights, it advanced self-sufficiency
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and created thousands of good jobs. but now, out of state corporations are coming to california. their online sports betting initiative would break the promise between us. it's bad for tribes and all californians. join us. protect the promise. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is an emmy-nominated actor you know from his work on hbo's "silicon valley.
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he stars in the cbs sitcom "b positive. the season-two finale airs march 10th let's take a look. >> knock knock >> don't answer. [ laughter ] >> who's there >> nobody home [ laughter ] >> juneau. >> i'm great at these. juneau who >> did you know [juneau] i'm headed to alaska >> oh! "did you know i'm headed to alaska" who? >> uh, no, no, no. i'm going to alaska. i finally decided on my next adventure. >> why is that funny >> i might try to work on a fishing boat after, you know, i spend a few weeks exploring the wilderness, just me and nature, in an epic battle for survival >> my money's on nature. >> seth: please welcome back to the show our friend thomas middleditch, everyone [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> seth: well, it is just so
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nice to have you here, and i feel as though this might be a television debut of a new hairstyle. >> well, you know, it's the cut that everybody's talking about >> seth: yeah. i heard you had a new one, and i will admit, when you first walked out, i didn't really see it it wasn't until i got you on this angle, as you went -- >> yeah, that looks like a pretty normal haircut. "oh, what's that?" you say "it's a braided rat tail at the back?" [ laughter ] >> seth: i mean -- >> and i want to say, this is real. [ laughter ] this isn't some ha-ha funny for-jokes extension. this is my life now. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] this isn't one of those phony hollywood rat tails you get on sunset boulevard >> those are a dime a dozen, my friend. >> seth: i mean, that must have taken, what, a half a week to grow? [ laughter ] >> okay, it's a little short now, but this baby is gonna get down to my butt, hopefully
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>> seth: wow >> i can whip it around -- >> seth: such a big life change. what made you take the leap to rat tail >> you know, you get some free time, and things change. [ laughter ] a lot of introspection, and i come out, i emerge from my cocoon a tailed man. [ laughter ] >> seth: we've talked about this before, and i feel a little like i have to admit to you, i don't really believe it when we talk about the fact you have a pilot's license. >> what about me makes you not take me seriously, seth? [ laughter ] >> seth: when you go to your barber, you're like, "just remember, you need to see it under, like, a helmet. the rat tail has got to be long enough." >> it's got to punk out. any headwear, ya gotta see it. [ laughter ] >> seth: but this is your -- so, again you are using your piloting for good. i think sometimes people might think, "oh, we got his pilot license, he's out there going to probably the fyre festival or something like that. [ laughter ] this is a true thing you've been going and you've
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been ferrying dogs from one, like, rescue to another. >> uh -- [ laughter ] and like, "aww, that's not what i thought from the rat-tail guy." >> i thought he was gonna take drugs up from mexico what the hell? [ laughter ] no, but there are drugs in the dogs don't worry about it [ laughter ] no, there's an organization, pilots n paws, where basically they act as, like, a middleman so, you know, shelters will be full in southern california, and they need to get flown up to places with more room, or occasionally their new forever home and it's kind of a way to, like, do something nice, get an excuse to fly around, and then you'll end up in, like, some random spot. like, i find myself in places like placerville or grass valley, up in northern california, which are, like -- i guess, towns that were founded on, like, the california gold rush. and they remind you of it. every bar is, like, "the old klondike saloon. [ light laughter ] have a sarsaparilla at the pioneers tavern.
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[ laughter ] okay, got it copy that. you like your gold >> seth: i like that i was like, how do you even get a rescue dog in a plane what do they - how do they travel >> they curl up, man >> seth: look at that. [ audience "awws" those two were great they were two brittany spaniels who had, like, this neurological condition. so when i picked them up, they were like -- i forget their names like, "mitzi and barbara, and here they are. and they're like, "guh-guh-guh guh-guh. [ laughter ] and i was like, "oh, boy, are they gonna settle down when we fly?" 'cause they're still in the back like, "guh-guh-guh." [ laughter ] i mean, yeah, i am laughing at them, but it was - it's sweet sometimes those brain conditions are hilarious. [ laughter ] >> seth: you travel with your dog, so your dog comes, too. >> i do, yes well, yeah, i travel with one of them, potter, and i go up high >> seth: uh-huh. >> and when you're up high, and my plane is not pressurized, you need oxygen. >> seth: so, even a dog needs oxygen >> oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: so, is this something you can buy, or did you rig this yourself >> it would be cool if i rigged it.
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i'm like, "you've got to get air somehow. no, you buy this [ audience "awws" and so -- this is in his little sweater, and he's got earmuffs and his little bane mask [ laughter ] i really like that one >> seth: yeah. >> he gets really -- and what's weird is, like, when he's oxygen-deprived or just getting enough, he gets real cuddly so, that's, like, him, like, crawling me and be like, "sleep now, master? "yes." [ laughter ] "go to bed now, child. [ laughter ] >> "yes, in the morning, you'll get more air, only when i deem it necessary." [ laughter ] >> yeah, i am, i am -- uh, is it michael ironside in "total recall" i'm the bad guy in "total recall. >> seth: yeah, michael ironside. nice pull. and they were impressed. >> yeah, you guys -- [ laughter ] why aren't you up to date on arnold schwarzenegger, sharon stone, and michael ironside's "total recall" [ laughter ] "screw you, benny! >> seth: oh, if they see this, now they're just coming -- now they're slowly remembering,
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yeah >> "i wish i had three hands." "you're just doing final with two." >> seth: oh, wow [ laughter ] >> that's a spicy scene. now, that's a spicy scene. [ laughter ] >> seth: just doubling down, doubling down, doubling down >> it's one of the best! [ laughter ] sorry for getting too animated over "total recall." i feel like everyone's like, "settle down." >> seth: you flew with one of your dogs. that means you have another. it doesn't go up with you? >> no, i realize that her time of traveling is done >> seth: an older dog. >> she's an elder. she's about 15 the fun part about her, and what has been a great gift, on top of just years of great news globally, is that she has lost the full-functioning use of her hind legs and just rear half >> seth: okay. >> so she has a little wheelchair that i put her in she likes rolling around >> seth: alright >> and the real cherry on the cake - [ laughter ]
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is that, before bed, and i am aware that i'm talking about this on television - >> seth: okay, good. >> in order to, like, lessen the chances of me waking up the next morning with a stinky treat, i have to, as instructed by my vet, i have to encourage a movement, uh, manually >> seth: okay. >> so i take a little bag and i, like, carry her to a spot, and hold her up, and i, uh, you know, um, play with my dog's butt hole. [ laughter ] and i don't love it. i hate it. but i do it every night. and i'm happy. the reward for it is dump in my hand. [ laughter ] and i'm in my neighborhood, like, in the dark, doing it. like, other people walking by are, like, walking by like, "jesus." i'm like, "uh, the vet told me to.
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[ laughter ] it is -- it is really - it's a real morale booster [ laughter ] >> seth: just 'cause, your whole day, you know you've got that waiting at the end >> i know, i got to milk my dog later on [ laughter ] and it's not like the normal the other, potter, it's not like he's any better, 'cause, like, it's late. you know, you just want to go to bed, and dogs are such jerks about it they're, like, you can tell they need to poo, but they're like, "here? no." [ laughter ] "here? nunh-unh." like, i can see your body ready to go, and you're still denying me this. [ laughter ] and then, when they do it, you're like,"yes!" and then you're, like, this sad man, happy for poo [ laughter ] what is your life right now? and i'm so acquainted with how poo feels now. i always say, "if it's dry, you're like, 'there's more in there.'" and now i'm sitting there trying to get more out of her it's so -- it's so sad. [ laughter ]
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we got enough to deal with >> seth: yeah. >> anyway, i'm crushing it, man. [ laughter ] >> seth: you got the rat tail. >> i got a rat tail. >> seth: you're a great dog owner. let's not -- "b positive" is a wonderful show with a wonderful cast.ur character was gonna go to juneau, alaska, work on a fishing boat now that you're a man of the air, have you ever thought about life on the sea, maybe getting a fishing license or something >> oh, no, that's, uh, far too, uh, um, bloody for me. no, i have actually, only recently, when the pandemic started, i had - i think i was googling or youtubeing "squalls," "white squalls," because there's this canadian folksinger called stan rogers, who sings like, sea shanteys and i was like, "hmm, i wonder what a white squall is." and like, "oh, wow, that's pretty stormy. and then youtube later on was like, "i hear you're into sailing. and i'm like, "not really, but
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what do you got youtube? and youtube is like, "well, there's this - there's this channel, these, like, they're both so pretty there's this, like, pretty australian couple, the man and a woman, who have detached themselves from life they sail around the world, sailing the 'vagabond. i'll give you a shout-out. why not?ch i'm weirdly obsessed with sailing now. and, uh -- yeah, they live at sea, and i have thought about just like, "you know what? that's it for me, boys." [ laughter ] like, "i'll take to the seas from now on. but i have a feeling, like, i don't know, week in, i was like, "i want my xbox. what am i doing? >> seth: yeah. >> "what am i doing? >> seth: "i can't believe i'm on a boat with a dog that can't [bleep] on his own." [ laughter ] >> in a white squall "come on, meatloaf." [ laughter ] "give me the goods, baby, give me that brown gold." >> seth: is his name meatloaf? >> her name is meatloaf. don't mis-gender my dog! [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, god >> it's 2022
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please don't mis-gender my dog, seth. [ laughter ] i'm begging you. >> seth: alright, i hear you apologies to meatloaf. she sounds wonderful >> yes >> seth: this is thomas middleditch, everybody. thank you so much for being here >> thank you [ cheers and applause >> the season-two finale of "b positive" airs march 10th on cbs we'll be right back with more "late night. [ cheers and applause ♪ as a struggling actor, i need all the breaks that i can get. at liberty butchemel— cut. liberty biberty— cut. liberty mutual customizes your car insurance so you only pay for whatchya... line? need. action. cut. you can't say that. [phone rings] sorry. is this where they're gonna put the statue of liberty? liberty... are we married to mutual? cut. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: i want to thank my guests, sandra oh and thomas middleditch [ cheers and applause i want to thank todd sucherman and the 8g band, right over there. stay safe, get vaccinated, get boosted. we love you. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ tragedy unfolded right in front of her. an apparent case of road rage.


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