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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  April 23, 2022 12:37am-1:37am PDT

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♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- andy cohen comedian jeff foxworthy, an all-new "closer look." featuring the 8g band, with brooke colucci ♪ [ cheers and applause and now, seth meyers >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you're doing well. and now, we're going to get to the news president biden on monday announced the so-called billionaire minimum income tax as part of his 2023 budget specifically, the part they'll have to cut out before it will
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pass. [ laughter ] president biden yesterday signed an anti-lynching bill into law, and not, as i would have hoped, president buchanan after meeting with judge ketanji brown jackson yesterday for the second time, republican senator susan collins told reporters she felt jackson had met her personal standard for serving on the supreme court, which is blowing anything under a 0.08 on a breathalyzer [ laughter ] the white house said yesterday that it would not invoke executive privilege to shield jared kushner from testifying before the house committee investigating the capitol attack and if indicted, he could be tried as an adult. [ laughter ] after it was reported that former president trump may have communicated during the capitol attack using so-called burner phones, trump released a statement on monday that said, "i have no idea what a burner phone is to the best of my knowledge, i
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have never even heard the term." [ laughter ] i love the way he always goes a little too far with his denials. it's like if someone said, "hey, man, i haven't seen your wife lately." and you said, "i wouldn't even know how to poison someone [ laughter ] and i sure as hell don't own a shovel." [ laughter ] after facing criticism for his plan to clear homeless encampments from the city, new york mayor eric adams told reporters yesterday, "i'm like broccoli you're going to hate me now, but you're gonna love me later." well, okay but just speaking for myself, it's been 48 years on broccoli [ light laughter ] according to a new study, eating just two servings of avocado a week can reduce the risk of having a heart attack by more than 20% so, yeah, still no such thing as affordable health care [ laughter ] two avocados a week? who's making two avocados a week money?
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walgreens has announced plans to open robot powered fulfillment centers across the us to help fill prescriptions, with each robotic pharmacist able to complete 300 prescriptions an hour, which will give you more time to wait for someone to come unlock the razors. [ laughter ] "robot does not unlock razors. "come on, you got robot hands. "no, robot does not. only fill prescriptions. [ laughter ] that is steve's job. "where is steve? "steve is on break." "no, robot --" [ laughter ] "steve never tell robot where he is going [ laughter ] make robot sad steve robot best friend. [ laughter ]
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according to new reports, apple is set to make 10 million fewer airpods than anticipated this year due to rising inflation, so maybe think twice before walking over a sewer grate [ audience ohs ] "aww aw, man, my airpod i don't got the money for more i already bought my two avocados." [ laughter ] and finally, in honor of easter, disney world will offer a so-called "boozy bunny," which features a chocolate rabbit filled with a bourbon drink. it's the perfect treat for people who shouldn't be at disney world [ laughter and applause and that was a monologue, everybody. [ cheers and applause we've got a fantastic show for you tonight. he is an emmy and peabody-winning producer who is also a bestselling author, and of course, the host of "watch what happens live," our friend, andy cohen is back with us tonight [ cheers and applause and he is a grammy-winning, multi-platinum-selling comedian whose new netflix special, "the good old days" is out now.
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jeff foxworthy will be here tonight. [ cheers and applause and this is very important i do want to keep prefacing this with, it's not a joke, the thing i'm about to tell you. this is not a joke i have a new book. it's a children's book it's illustrated it's called "i'm not scared, you're scared," and it is on the new york times bestseller list its top three. [ cheers and applause which is how authors say it is not one or two [ laughter ] now, easter is coming, and i want you to think, what would your kids prefer in their easter etsks? some candy or a top three new york times bestseller? [ laughter ] i mean, you could ask your kids. sure, you could ask them, but that would destroy the whole illusion of the easter bunny so i guess these next few weeks are a test a test of you. are you a good parent or not i mean, with so much happening in the world - oh, so much happening in the world, look at that. look who just successfully segued into "a closer look." this guy right here. [ applause ]
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you know what? and i'm sure, based on the tie-in for the kids' book, that tonight's "closer look" will also be kid-friendly a republican congressman accused his colleagues of doing cocaine and holding orgies [ laughter ] while donald trump decided, in the middle of russia's brutal invasion of ukraine, he would ask vladimir putin to dig up dirt on the bidens for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: there's a lot you can say about the modern republican party. it's paranoid, authoritarian, obsessed with conspiracy theories and culture wars. but in addition to that, it's full of weird people constantly saying weird [ bleep ] [ laughter ] like when georgia congresswoman marjorie taylor greene called the president, the "commander and chief" rather than "commander in chief," which is the actual title does she think the two jobs are separate "being president is super hard, because you're the commander and
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you're the chief [ laughter ] when the constitution was written in 1492 by christopher columbo, they were originally two separate jobs the commander was george washington and the chief was clancy wiggum. [ laughter ] and then there's north carolina congressman madison cawthorn, who said something so bizarre the other day that even a republican senator from his home state said cawthorn clearly has been an embarrassment at times cawthorn compared the real life washington to the netflix show "house of cards," and in the process, made some pretty crazy allegations about what goes on in d.c >> the sexual perversion that goes on in washington -- i mean, being kind of a young guy in washington, remember the average age is probably 60 or 70 and i look at all these people, a lot of them that i, you know, i've looked up to through my life, always paid attention to politics guys that, you know -- then all of a sudden, you get invited to, like, "oh, hey, we're going to have kind of a sexual get-together at one of our homes. you should come. and you're like, 'what did you just ask me to come to?' and then you realize they're asking you to come to an orgy.
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or the fact that, you know, some of the people that are leading on the movement to try and remove, you know, addiction in our country, and then you watch them do a key bump of cocaine right in front of you. and it's like, wow, this is this is wild. >> seth: come on, man. do you really expect us to believe that congress could plan and execute an orgy? [ laughter ] at best, i can see them announcing an exploratory committee that would begin to investigate the feasibility of an orgy at a later date. [ laughter ] and then it would grind to a halt, because one faction would say they wouldn't go unless the orgy was carbon neutral, and then joe manchin would say he's only going to vote for the orgy if there was money for coal in it [ laughter ] and then someone would say, "why do you need coal at an orgy? and joe manchin would say, "i guess you've never been to a west virginia sex party. [ laughter ] it just wouldn't happen. although, although in cawthorn's defense, i will say, chuck schumer positions his glasses like a man watching an orgy [ laughter ]
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"what do we have here? also, i got to say, if they were having orgies and doing cocaine, i would actually find that impressive i mean, they're all 70 and 80 years old if you told me chuck grassley was snorting blow and boning nonstop, i'd be like, "damn, maybe he's more with it than i thought. [ laughter ] also chuck grassley, just going to say it -- pretty good name for an adult film star "somebody order a pizza? [ laughter ] now, cawthorn is presumably referring to his fellow republicans here, since those are the people he caucuses and spends time with, so he seems to be accusing his own gop colleagues of being sex-crazed drug addicts, which is why, understandably, those same colleagues are pissed at him now. house gop leader kevin mccarthy called cawthorn into his office today, maybe hoping to score an invite or to tell him to stop narcing, and pennsylvania republican scott perry, the chairman of the ultra conservative house freedom caucus said he plans to speak to the north carolina
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republican one-on-one about the incendiary comment perry further indicated that cawthorn should identify the individuals he alleges engaged in that behavior i think it is important if you're going to say something like that, to name some names. oh, please don't name names, because all those names go with faces we know. [ laughter ] but this is truly an amazing turn in the evolution of the republican party they whipped up their base into believing crazy [ bleep ]. that base then elected a bunch of crazy people who believe that crazy [ bleep ], and now those crazy people are accusing their fellow republicans of engaging in wild, drug-fueled sex parties. this whole group of pro-trump toadies is just so weird and loathsome, like texas senator ted cruz, for example, who, i'm gonna go out on a limb here, wasn't invited to the orgy [ laughter ] "well, it's just frustrating, because we're always getting our dates mixed up." [ laughter ] cruz claimed the other day that a mysterious cabal is somehow controlling the biden administration, because he personally has not spoken to
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biden during his presidency. >> i actually get asked that almost every day somebody says, "who's really running things?" and let me tell you the scary thing, i have no idea. so biden's been president, what, 15 months? in that entire time, i have not spoken with him once >> seth: well, i guess that means he's at the orgies that you're not [ laughter ] but i do wonder why a person wouldn't want to speak to ted cruz it truly is a mystery. it's one of those age-old questions. why don't people like talking to ted cruz or why don't people like getting hit the nuts with a football [ laughter ] this is the modern republican party, a collection of fringe weirdoes who, by the way, will very likely control congress next year. they could very well end up nominating donald trump for president again. he keeps holding his unhinged rallies and keeps strongly hinting that he'll run again and he remains, as of now, the most influential republican in the country, which is terrifying for many reasons, among which is the fact that he tried to stage a coup, which a house committee
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and a federal judge have said was very likely a crime. he's hidden, or possibly even destroyed evidence of that crime. and on top of all that, keeps going out of his way to praise a brutal autocrat currently waging a horrific war on an innocent neighboring country. and now trump is complaining that the media keeps getting mad whenever he calls various dictators like vladimir putin "smart." >> you know, every time i say somebody's smart, they always go, "oh, trump said that president xi of china is smart." well, you know, he runs 1.5 billion people with an iron fist yeah, i think he's pretty smart. and they have a chain over there. you know, if you're a dummy, you get left here. it's like this it's like a pyramid. the smartest one get to the top. but they asked me, "is putin smart? yes, putin was smart and i actually thought he was going to be negotiating. i said, "that's a hell of a way to negotiate put 200,000 soldiers on the
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border." it looked like a great negotiation. that didn't work out too well for him. >> seth: i like wounded trump. he's 75, but whines like a grounded teenager. "it's not fair everyone's mad at me because i said putin's smart i said he's smart for dumping sarah and taking the head cheerleader to prom. and sure, sarah is perfect for vlad we all know that, but the head cheerleader's hotter [ light laughter ] maybe one day, sarah will take off those glasses. [ laughter ] also, what do you mean, it was a great negotiation that didn't work out too well for him? how can both of those things be true i cannot believe this guy was commander or chief [ laughter ] of course, as the world watches the conflict in ukraine with horror, most decent, compassionate people are asking themselves what they can do to help, while responsible world leaders try to come up with solutions to end the crisis. russian and ukrainian negotiators have been meeting to try to hash out a cease fire, a peace deal
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and then there's trump, who apparently thought now would be a good time, in the middle of a monstrous war, to pitch some ideas to vladimir putin on how he could help trump out and weaken joe biden >> as long as putin now is not exactly a fan of our country, let him explain, where did - because chris wallace wouldn't let me ask the question. why did the mayor of moscow's wife, give the bidens, both of them, three and a half million dollars? that's a lot of money. she gave them three and a half million dollars. so now, i would think putin would know the answer to that. i think he should release it i think we should know that answer i think putin now would be willing to probably give that answer i'm sure he knows. >> seth: it's so shocking and gross. i need a second to process it. which brings us to a segment called, "seth needs a smoke break. [ bells chiming [ laughter ] and damn, man. [ lighter clicks ]
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i don't smoke. this is disgusting [ laughter and applause people do that [ laughter ] this has been, "seth needs a smoke break. [ bells chiming [ laughter and applause you can always count on trump to have both the worst and most insane take on any topic i'd be terrified to hear what he thought of the oscars. "if anything, i think we could have used one or maybe two more slaps. [ laughter ] and you know, it's never the slapper's fault. it's the slap-ee, because you have to be ready you have to be ready [ laughter ] that's why i was always practicing karate at my press conferences. [ laughter ] you know, to scare - you have to scare off potential slappers." second, you're accusing someone else of taking money from russia you repeatedly tried to do business deals in moscow, including while you were running for president, when you signed a letter of intent to build a trump tower in moscow. cnn even obtained a copy of the
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official letter of intent from october 2015, and it had your signature on it. and we know it's your signature, because it was in sharpie and it looks like the results of a cardiogram from a patient in the middle of a heart attack [ laughter and applause look at that it looks like a "new yorker" cartoon of a klan rally. [ laughter ] if you looked at that signature without knowing who it was, you'd think the name was "ahh! these two moments should give you a pretty good idea of where the republican party is right now. it's an unhinged movement of aspiring authoritarians whose leader is openly praising a brutal tyrant and asking him once again to intervene in us politics, while a congressman accuses his colleagues of drug-fueled sex parties. i have no idea what those orgies look like, but i'm guessing -- >> it's like a pyramid [ laughter and applause >> seth: this has been "a closer look."
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♪ [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with andy cohen ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks" be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. ♪ (vo) for me, one of the best things about life is that we keep moving forward. we discover exciting new technologies. redefine who we are and how we want to lead our lives. basically, choose what we want our future to look like. so what's yours going to be?
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>> seth: give it up for the fantastic 8g band right over there! back with us tonight on drums, she's the drummer for new york-based rock band plush she just finished up a u.s. tour with slash featuring myles kennedy and the conspirators their self-titled debut album is available everywhere, and for more information, you can go to their instagram @plushrocks. brooke colucci is here, everybody! [ cheers and applause thanks so much for being with us, brooke we really appreciate it. >> thank you so much >> seth: our first guest tonight is an emmy and peabody award-winning producer, a "new york times" best-selling author, and the host of "watch what happens live with andy cohen," which airs sunday through thursday nights on bravo. please welcome back to the show, our good friend andy cohen ♪ [ cheers and applause ♪
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>> seth: it's so good to see you again. >> it's so good to see you again. >> seth: i got to see you recently i got to do your show on st. patrick's day. >> that was so fun >> seth: it's so much fun. >> you didn't get drunk enough >> seth: you know, the thing - >> specially considering the weight of the date >> seth: it was st. patrick's day, and i'm always very excited to go to your show because i do feel like it's a professional excuse to get drunk. >> i do, too >> seth: yeah. >> yes >> seth: but you know, your show -- and i say this as a huge compliment - the pace is breakneck. >> it is >> seth: it moves so fast. >> yes i have a short attention span. >> seth: yeah. >> so, it's about if i can keep myself engaged for 30 minutes -- >> seth: yeah. >> then it's good. that's why i'm always changing the topic. >> seth: you know, it's like trying to have a drink, i would imagine, during speed dating where -- >> yeah. >> seth: there's no time to actually get the wine in your mouth because you only have five minutes to do -- >> yeah. somehow i'm able to get the sips in i know when to drink >> seth: you know what that's where i should -- i should learn from you. >> yeah, exactly >> seth: last time you were here, it was before the pandemic and we were celebrating the 10th anniversary of "watch what happens live." >> yeah. >> seth: 13 years now. >> 13 years. >> seth: really amazing. >> i know.
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i'm still -- i can't believe we're still going. it's great i'm so lucky >> seth: yeah. i mean, i feel the same way, and we're at eight >> yes >> seth: you know, and the thing -- and again, going back to just the way this show moves and the flow of it, it does not seem like it's a show you could do if you were bored with it >> that's true >> seth: yeah. >> although, have you hit a wall yet? was there ever a point in your eight years where you were like kind of ticking a box? >> seth: i think m -- i will say that if i got close to it, the pandemic reset the clock, you know what i mean >> yes, of course. >> seth: because all of a sudden you go back and you appreciate everything a lot more. >> you're like, "whoa, i'm so lucky to have this." >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: whereas right before the pandemic, i remember saying, like, "god i dare you to do something!" >> right, yes. >> seth: i do, yeah. >> congratulations on your book. >> seth: thank you very much it's not here anymore, yeah. >> yeah, right we are really enjoying it. >> seth: this is your three-year-old son, ben? >> yes i e-mailed you i was a little upset because there are a lot of words in the book >> seth: yeah. you -- right
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>> yes >> seth: going back to your attention span >> i lodged a formal complaint with seth because when he hands me a super wordy book, i'm like, "oh, really? this is what you want? there is a book called "big bug and little bug." >> seth: okay? >> there is not even an author credited it is such a pamphlet, but he loves it and it's literally like, "a little bug fell in a hole he dug. >> seth: yeah. >> next page and i'm like, "this is --" i'm like, "want to read "little bug, big bug"? >> seth: so you try to push -- you try to push the simple stuff, yeah, yeah. the most heartbreaking thing is when someone says -- when you write an illustrated children's book that is 32 pages and someone said, "we started it." >> no! >> seth: yes >> someone had said that to you? >> seth: someone had said to me, like, "we started it." i'm like, "started it? >> that is terrible. wow. and when jimmy fallon said that to you, you said what? [ laughter ] >> seth: i said what i always say. i'm like, "you're the man, jimmy! [ laughter ] "whatever you say, boss! [ laughter ]
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your mom, i know, is a huge fan of your in your entirety, your being. but does she still watch the show 13 years in >> she does. i mean, and she -- she has very mixed reviews about my show. >> seth: that's so lovely. >> always -- we had -- her most recent gripe, which really she was on for a while, we had laura linney and kristin davis on one night >> seth: very nice combo >> great actresses and my parents are big "ozark" fans, and we played a game called "have they crapped their pants? where i showed them a celebrity, and they have to say, guess, whether the celebrity had in fact publicly admitted to crapping their pants >> seth: yeah. >> fun game, right >> seth: it is a fun game. >> there's a play-at-home factor >> seth: yeah. >> and my mom was so mad at me for smearing laura linney in that way and bringing her down to my level, i did not hear about -- the texts i got were so
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brutal and then, yeah, it was bad >> seth: do you -- do look back at that and think you should have known better once you knew you had someone your parents loved like laura linney? should you have, like, pushed "crapped my pants" a show? >> no, because i think it's the dichotomy of someone so brilliant that's laura linney -- >> seth: yeah. >> -- and playing the game with her. >> seth: you're right. >> i think, yes, no. i think we did the right thing, and i'm sorry i upset my mother. >> seth: but you put the show first. >> i do. >> seth: i will say, i think of all the interviews laura linney has ever done, that's the only time she's played that game. [ laughter ] >> you think >> seth: i think so. i think. hey, we -- it was so joyous to us anything that happens these days that is just pure joy. >> yes >> seth: and even though this wasn't necessarily positive -- you were pretty upset -- but this is you and anderson on new year's eve you got a little bit - >> oh, you have the clip >> seth: we have a clip, yeah. >> oh, boy >> seth: i mean, we -- i got to be honest, andy. we've shown it a lot we never get tired of it and i would like -- here is -- you'll know what this is about in a second.
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>> watching mayor de blasio -- >> don't go on a rant. >> do his victory-lap dance after four years of the crappiest term as the mayor of new york - >> that's how you want to start the new year >> the only thing that democrats and republicans can agree on is what a horrible mayor he has been, so sayonara, sucker! >> seth: i mean, i will say -- [ applause ] message aside, it is -- you two -- you and anderson complement each other so well, and that is my favorite thing to watch is that two shot of friendship while you are - and while he's just -- you just felt like he was stepping. >> he was pulling my hood. [ laughter ] he was pulling me by the hood. and what i forgot about that clip is how d -- well, that i didn't forget, but how hoarse i was. >> seth: yes >> because i had really been on
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my soapbox at that point for four or five hours i was like, "and this is - and journey's fake the new journey is fake! >> seth: it's so great so when you hear someone yelling that hoarse, it actually makes you feel better about the fact you're getting yelled at because you're like, i think they do a lot of yelling." >> yeah, exactly i know we got in the car after, and we were leaving times square, and i went on twitter and i looked, and that clip was on twitter, and i was like, "oh, this is this de blasio thing." and i was watching it, and i had fully forgotten or not realized that i said, "sayonara, sucker." and i turned to anderson, and i go, "i said, sayonara, sucker?'" and he goes, "yup. you did. i'm like, "oh, my god. >> seth: it really is the perfect -- it's the perfect button >> but by the way, has there ever been a safer target than trashing mayor de blasio >> seth: on new year's eve, in times square, everything >> i do regret saying that he had been mayor for four years because it was a very long eight years.
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>> seth: yes, exactly. >> and i hate making an error, and that was an error. that was the one error i made. >> seth: i think people forget it i have a lot more to ask you about. we'll be right back with more from andy cohen after this [ cheers and applause ♪ stuff. we love stuff. and there's some really great stuff out there. but i doubt that any of us will look back on our lives and think, "i wish i'd bought an even thinner tv, found a lighter light beer, or had an even smarter smartphone." do you think any of us will look back on our lives and regret the things we didn't buy? or the places we didn't go? ♪ i'd go the whole wide world ♪ ♪ i'd go the whole wide world ♪ fridays... fry days... it's almost like whoever named the best day of the week was trying to tell us to celebrate it with fries.
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back to "late night. we're here with andy cohen obviously, new york has a new mayor, but even more exciting, a new cast of new york "housewives. >> yes, this is a big deal >> seth: it's a huge deal. >> wow, i didn't know where you were going with that by the way, there is a housewife, a former housewife in the universe who i found out today has a major crush on seth meyers. >> seth: really? >> yes yes. [ cheering ] she is a former peach holder
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from "the real housewives of atlanta." she is phaedra parks >> seth: phaedra parks >> she is an attorney at law and a mortician. and she likes you. >> seth: wow that is great. >> she could handle your legal bills. >> seth: and she could - >> and plan your funeral >> seth: yeah! >> yes absolutely >> seth: i was going to say, if there's a funeral she needs to plan, it's my wife's >> well, i was going to say that, but i didn't want to[ lau] >> seth: that's really kind. that's your host at heart. you left the nicer joke for me >> i did i did. i was also like, am i going to make a joke about his wife like that it's like, i'm not -- i don't think i'm doing that >> seth: i'm realizing your restraint was probably the smarter of the two paths >> well, by the way, not a great week to make jokes about people's wives >> seth: no. [ crowd groans ] >> yes >> seth: so, you are no stranger to slaps >> yes >> seth: in the "housewife" universe >> that is true. >> seth: you've seen, you've observed tempers rising and someone making the terrible decision to slap someone else.
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>> yes, i have >> seth: do you -- >> where are you going with this >> seth: do you think this is -- i mean, obviously, these two people were friends. >> yes >> seth: do you think there's a chance even after the stage slap, that these two - >> that they could come together >> seth: yeah. >> oh, my god. well, i live in a universe where housewives do and say terrible things to each other >> seth: yeah. >> and then they're like, "you know what? i think we're gonna be okay. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, so in my universe, yes. >> seth: i think there is a path out. >> i do, too >> seth: i think we've fixed this >> yes >> seth: now, unfortunately, we all had to watch it. >> this is true. >> seth: yeah. >> what's the worst heckling experience you've ever had the very worst, where you were like, shaky after? >> seth: my improv partner and i did the mistake, we were in edinburgh at the fringe festival, and we'd performed at a stand-up night, and so it was a scottish audience, and we tried to do like, american improv we were asking scots late at night for suggestions, and they were very angry.
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>> right >> seth: and i remember at the end of the night, the emcee was naming all the acts, and when he said our names, it was dead silent >> wow >> seth: and then one guy just went, "[ bleep ]!" and it was so solitary, as if they had agreed ahead of time. >> right >> seth: no one will say anything and then, whatever, pat over here will yell, "[ bleep ]!" >> right right. >> seth: so that was probably -- >> that was it >> seth: you've also got a "real housewives," not just new here in new york. >> right >> seth: but dubai >> dubai >> seth: how'd you pick? why dubai? >> i just watched the first episode this very day, as a matter of fact it was really exciting you know, i think dubai -- when you deal with a city that winds up making beverly hills look like, pedantic. >> seth: yeah. >> it's kind of, you're like, "oh, well, i'm paying attention here so i'm excited for - it's a totally different - and i think there are a lot of people who have ideas about dubai that, you know, all women are x, y or z. and this is really going to blow
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the lid off of a lot of preconceived notions >> seth: yeah, that's true >> so to speak >> seth: i'm not even realizing, yeah, i have a lot of preconceived notions >> yes yeah >> seth: and then how much of it - obviously, you pick a place, and that's a huge part of it >> right >> seth: having done all these seasons, how quickly do you realize you've nailed it with the cast that you've gotten the right people to be engaging? >> well, typically we don't launch until we have a cast that we feel like is a great cast and we love. but usually, you can tell pretty quickly. i mean, they make you laugh. these women are superstars it's why we're still going, 16 years later. >> seth: yeah. >> and the new york thing, it's super exciting we announced a couple weeks ago, we are recasting the real housewives of new york city from the ground up. >> seth: yeah. >> and what an exciting thing to do, because there are so many stories told to be told in new york and so many that we haven't told yet >> seth: is there a higher standard when you're doing new york like, do you feel a little bit more anxiety about trying to do that again >> i mean, we just want to find stars.
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we just want to find great people >> seth: and they must, at this point, the other nice thing is you've had this go on so long, this franchise, people must be so excited to be a part of it. >> they are. >> seth: yeah. >> there are two types of people people who want to be on the housewives and people who don't. [ laughter ] yes. we are looking for the ones who want to appear >> seth: they're like, "i'll be on your show, but i'd like to keep my private life and my work life separate. >> oh, yeah, yeah, exactly great! >> seth: thank you so much for being here >> thanks, man great to see you >> seth: guys, that's andy cohen "watch what happens live with andy cohen" airs sunday through thursday nights on bravo we'll be right back with jeff foxworthy [ applause ] ♪ before treating your chronic migraine, 15 or more headache days a month each lasting 4 hours or more, you're not the only one with questions about botox®. botox® prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine
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for a whole lot less.
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is a
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grammy-nominated, multi-platinum-selling comedian. his special "the good old days" is streaming globally on netflix now. please welcome to the show jeff foxworthy, everyone [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: i'm so happy to have you here, jeff >> i'm thrilled to be here >> seth: you had a weekend very different than mine. you went on an arrowhead hunting trip, which i didn't know you could even do. >> oh, i go all over the country. >> seth: okay. and are there hot spots for arrowheads >> yeah, there's - well, there's places like where they had better material >> seth: okay. >> because i have a farm in georgia, but we have quartz. they're just not very pretty and then i have friends in arkansas that have this beautiful flint, and they just live in a like a hot spot. so we swap off they come to my farm and have fun, and then i go to theirs >> seth: and what's the process of going about arrowhead hunting?
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i would imagine just looking down to the ground a lot, right? >> you would be good at it [ laughter ] i mean, it's pretty much -- they had to live near water sources, so you're looking for creeks or rivers and like an elevated flat spot and it's like i would never dig, like, a grave. that's bad mojo. >> seth: yeah. >> but you're finding, like, their knives and their tools, their -- that, you know -- and some of them -- like, i've found one this weekend that's 10,000 years old >> seth: that's incredible >> perfect shape >> seth: and so you have a farm in georgia, you mentioned -- 3,000 acres. do you find -- are there things you unearth there on your own personal farm? >> not like bodies or anything, but, yeah, like i have -- we plant about 300 or 400 acres, and then i have a blueberry orchard. i have a greenhouse. i have a big garden. i have -- i started -- when covid hit, my daughter bought me a beehive, and i was like scared to death but we started raising bees >> seth: really? >> and doing honey >> seth: and how's your honey? is it a tasty honey?
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>> oh, my honey is hot, let me tell you [ laughter ] yeah >> seth: i feel like i keep walking into these [ laughter ] >> it's good >> seth: you know, you live in georgia now, and obviously you spend a big chunk of your career out in l.a >> mm-hmm. >> seth: being a country boy, being from georgia like, what was it like in your years in l.a.? >> oh, i didn't -- i didn't blend in very well when i had a sitcom, we used to film next to "seinfeld." >> seth: yeah. >> and i when ram first came out with that truck, i thought, "well, that's a cool-looking truck," and i actually went to beverly hills dodge and said, "i want to buy a truck. and they were like, "to drive? and i'm like, "yeah, i want a truck. and so i would pull in to work in my truck, and seinfeld would come pulling in in one of his 50 porsches next he was like, "good morning, loser. you know, it was - [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. well, you stuck by -- you stuck by what was true for you >> i did i did. i stuck to my roots. >> seth: so 40 -- you've been doing comedy for 40 years, and i'm -- i haven't been doing it
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that long, but i'm still - i have been doing it in a while. and one of the funniest things to me is when you can still be wrong about a joke until you do it -- you find out when you do it in front of an audience do you still find that 40 years in >> yeah, i -- because i've done it in every form i've done page-a-day calendars for 30 something years i've written 20 something books. stand up, the thing that fascinates me about it is -- if you laid carpet for 30 years, you would know, hey, when i get to the corner, this is what i do when i get -- after 30, i still don't know what people are going to laugh at. >> seth: i know. >> doesn't that amaze you? >> seth: it's fascinating, yeah. >> and so i don't want to go like on a saturday night because they laugh at everything i want to go like on a monday or tuesday night, 30 people there and i take boxes i take three boxes, and it's - they're labeled gold, silver and "certificate of appearance." [ laughter ] and i just have these -- these cards with these ideas but if you and i were walking in and you said, "pick the four that are going to work the best," i would still be dead
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wrong on two of them >> seth: i bet that is a great -- by doing that and by giving the audience that power, i bet they take it more seriously and -- >> oh, they're totally invested in it, yeah. and i'm like, you know, like something -- and i can always tell the terrible ones go in "certificate of appearance," and i always know because the only person i hear laughing is my wife in the back of the room but then i try to argue with them i'm like, "well, did i maybe not set it up well did you not understand what i was saying?" they're like, "no, it's not funny. put it in the certificate of appearance." >> seth: yeah, there's nothing worse than when they're like, "no, we get it." >> yeah, it's not funny. >> seth: hate it >> yeah. >> seth: now, your wife laughing in the back, is that because she's your number-one fan, or she enjoys watching you bomb [ laughter ] >> loves watching me bomb. loves watching me bomb like, she'll get in the car. she goes, "that thing about your grandmother, nobody laughed! there was no --" [ laughter ] "i told you that wasn't funny, but you wouldn't listen to me! >> seth: it's so funny i -- you know, i don't know what your wife's background is
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professionally, but my wife has nothing to do with comedy. and so there are times where she will say the same thing, "that's not going to work. and i do kind of, you know, impress upon her like, "look, i am the one who does this." >> "i'm the expert." >> seth: and then i'll come home >> she's always right. >> seth: and i'll come home and i will -- you know, i'll have an audio recording of the show, and she'll go, "how'd that joke go?" and i'm like, "not bad." and she's like, "let me hear it." i'm like, "alright it ate it. it ate it hard >> alright, so let me ask you this where do you come up with most material >> seth: i think just over the course of the day. i think usually i just have to be alone and have to be quiet. >> yeah, you need quiet. >> seth: yeah. >> like, and maybe this is why i bet i think of 80% of the stuff in the shower. >> seth: yeah, it does quiet it down >> and i have a pad like on my bathroom counter where i write but i have spent the last 37 years coming out of the shower and saying to my wife, "is this funny?" and it's when she says yes and i haven't even said anything yet, that's when it -
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[ laughter ] but she has great instincts. i mean she'll go, "that's -- no, that's not funny." >> seth: yeah. and then, you know, that's the part about it that is so valuable is they're closer to what matters, which is an audience >> yeah. >> seth: whereas - >> well, and i don't know, but i always assume the audience is right. if they say it's not funny - >> seth: yes, i agree. >> you know, and sometimes you'll throw something out you think, "this is stupid," and then people snot on themselves and you're like, "really really? that's funny?" so i guess stand-up is -- that's why it's fascinating it's like -- to me, it's like the woman i can't figure out, you know, which makes her really interesting because i can never quite figure her out >> seth: i think that is - that's a good way of saying it you talk about the -- this is -- you've talked obviously a lot about the process of writing, but also there's the performance of it. and you talk about one of the dangers of having a big meal before a show, and i'm assuming this is something that you learned from experience. >> well, yes well, like for me, i feel like
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it makes you sluggish, so i never eat before a show. i'm always hungry. but i did a lot of things with larry the cable guy. and so we're up in chicago, and i sit -- and we were doing a show together in a theatre, and i said, "have you ever had chicago pizza? "i don't like it i only like new york pizza." and i said, "well, have you ever tried it?" "no, never tried it. i said, "well, dude, you got to try it before -- so i get my phone. there's a lou malnati's, you know >> seth: yeah, the best. >> love lou -- love lou's. "but i love new york pizza!" so i call lou malnati's, and they actually deliver it to the theatre door well, anybody -- this thing's like eating a slice of pie >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, it's like that thick. >> seth: it's like a pizza high-rise. >> yeah, it's a pizza high-rise. so you can -- i mean, even if i'm hungry, i can only eat one >> seth: yeah. >> so, i cut larry a slice i said, "here, just try it." "that's pretty good right there. he ate three quarters of the pizza, and then he went on stage, "jeff made me eat this
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pizza, and i'm --" [ laughter ] burping into the microphone. >> well, a cautionary tale, [ laughter ] >> seth: well, a cautionary tale a cautionary tale. >> yes >> seth: hey, thank you so much for being here congratulations on the special and the entire career. it's an honor. you guys, jeff foxworthy "the good old days" is streaming globally on netflix now. we'll be right back with more "late night. ♪ getting the incredible iphone 13 -without t-mobile, -three... -makes as much sense -two... -as playing hide-in-seek... -one... ready or not, here i come... in the desert. ahhh. really guys? t-mobile has more 5g bars in more places. and now, when you switch, you can get iphone 13 on us, and one year of apple tv+ for free. you're not going to fit in that hole. don't look any further. unlock the full power of iphone 13
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kenan! leaving you feeling confident hey kenan! looking good. feeling good. i just found all these cars on autotrader. wow! now wait for the best part there microwave. a dealer is gonna deliver this car to our home. never leave home, never leave home! woo, it's here! there's one thing... i can't do from home. drive! someone stop him! kenan! catch ya later, refrigerator! now that you can get anything on uber eats, you're probably wondering... can i eats anything i get delivered? well, here's how to know. look at it. and if it's food... ...eats it. and if it's not food... ...don't eats it. don't...don't eat it. is anybody confused by this? like, what kind of fool would eat soap? oh it's getting bubbly.
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so many bubbles.
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♪ >> announcer: the audience is back at "late night. come join us live in studio 8g for tickets, head over to and for more "late night," follow us on instagram, twitter, and tiktok at @latenightseth be sure to check us out on youtube, facebook, and over at subscribe to the "late night" podcast, featuring "a closer look" and more, available on apple, spotify, google, or wherever you listen to podcasts. ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: i want to thank my guests, andy cohen and jeff foxworthy i want to thank brooke colucci and the 8g band. stay safe. get vaccinated get boosted. we love you. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ to help. to make a difference. to try and be something bigger. >> right now at 11:00,e


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