Skip to main content

tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  January 31, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PST

11:35 pm
colbert" is next. our next newscast is tomorrow morning at 4:30. >> all right be there. captioning sponsored by cbs ( laughter )
11:36 pm
( laughter ) >> it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight, reacting to the state of the union. plus, stephen welcomes rose mcgowan and senator rand paul. featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: whoa! hello, how are you? >> stephen: thank you, sir!
11:37 pm
hey, everybody. please sit down. thank you very much, heroes all, heroes, all. thank you. welcome to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. everyone's still keenly aware that donald trump gave a speech last night. i believe it ended 15 minutes ago. ( laughter ) and good news for trump: according to cnn, 70% percent of the people who watched the speech had either a very positive or somewhat positive reaction. which seems good, until you learn "it's the lowest net positive rating for a state of the union address since cnn first asked the question." ( applause ). ( cheers ) , of course,-- true. that's true. , of course,, you know, it's an odd sample size. that's a poll of the people who actually watched the state of the union, so late night talk show hosts and the criminally insane. one person who thought donald trump did a great job was donald trump, at least judging from
11:38 pm
all the clapping he did during his own speech. ( applause ) i really, really think they should have turned down his mic during the clapping parts. and during the talking parts. i know he's a narcissist. i mean, that's a given. but come on. if i clapped after everything i said, i'd look crazy, right? ( cheers and applause ) yup. this guy gets it. this guy gets it. now, trump wasn't the only one giving him a hand. many republican pundits praised his performance, including his good friends over at foxy friends. >> do you know how many times the word "america" was used in that speech? >> how many times? >> 82 times. >> that's fantastic. >> stephen: 82 times! not bad.
11:39 pm
but i'm sad to say, not one merry christmas. is donald trump muslim? ( laughter ) it's worth asking at this point. of course, democrats also responded to the state of the union, and then responded, and responded... in fact, there were a grand total of five democratic responses. but the unified democratic message was clear: "how about this one? do you like this one? what do you want from us? we'll say it." but vermont senator bernie sanders live streamed his response on facebook. and, surprisingly, the 76-year-old man had some problems with the computer. ( laughter ) his live stream went down for several minutes and was replaced with a screen saying, "we will be back momentarily!" i gotta say, a picture of the capitol building with a technical difficulties message-- a little on the nose. ( laughter ) ( applause ) but-- a little on the nose, reality. ( applause )
11:40 pm
( cheers ) but the official democratic response was given by massachusetts representative and lovechild of superman and conan o'brien, joe kennedy iii. nothing says "party of new ideas" more than deploying the latest model kennedy. at least give him a new name! throw in a dave or a phil. kennedy spoke from a vocational high school in massachusetts. soon he'll be old enough to drive those cars behind him. kennedy gave a stirring, thoughtful speech about the importance of fighting for all americans. so, of course, everybody focused on how weirdly wet his mouth was. now, to be fair, i'm pretty sure kennedy was just so handsome, he was making his own mouth water ( laughter ) in the end-- he's a good-looking
11:41 pm
guy, he's cute, low body fat, i'm guessing. in the end, hard to say if it was a good speech, because kennedy didn't clap for himself once. ( applause ) yeah. of course, no one is happier with trump right now than russia because on monday, the state department announced it would not impose russia sanctions that congress overwhelmingly passed in mid-2017 by a margin of 419-3 in the house and 98-2 in the senate. doesn't matter. so, why not impose them? well, according to his state department, there's "no need for new sanctions because the legislation is, in fact, serving as a deterrent." oh, so voting to impose sanctions was the sanction. "i sentence you to 20 years in prison, and by the look on your face, i can see you learned your lesson. you're free to go. bailiff, return the gentleman's knife." ( applause ) "give the man his knife.
11:42 pm
wipe the blood off, and give the man his knife." and in case you were wondering, this deterrent hasn't actually deterred jack. c.i.a. director mike pompeo says putin is going to mess with us again in 2018, because russia hasn't really scaled back its election interference efforts. why would they? it worked! at this point, the federal government is showing all the forethought of a kid biting into his second tide pod. ( laughter ) now-- don't do it! now-- >> jon: ooooh! >> stephen: there's more on the russia investigation. the president's lawyers say he will now not meet with the special counsel because he has not met the high threshold needed to meet with the president in person. there is an incredibly high threshold meeting with trump in person. no, no, you have to be in a wedding at his country club, or
11:43 pm
lost in new york. here's how-- here's how low the threshold is for an interviewing a president-- i've done it. and i'm an idiot. so he's not going to meet with mueller, despite saying this last week: >> stephen: so, obviously, he's lying, which he always does, which is why they don't want him to sit down with mueller. in fact, some of trump's advisers have said that they're afraid that mueller's interview could be a "perjury trap." there's no such thing as a perjury trap. that's just perjury. ( laughter ) ( applause ) "it was a classic murder trap, your honor!
11:44 pm
i had a knife in my hand, and he looked very stab-able!" the defense rests. trump's lawyers are protecting him from himself because they think he's incapable of not lying. they're treating the president of the united states like a dog left alone with a pizza. or like trump left alone with a pizza. ( laughter ) , of course, that's-- ( applause ) that's not the only way republicans are trying to hinder the russia investigation. there's also the classified memo written by republican house intel chair and man at the loneliest carnival kissing booth, devin nunes. nunes says that his super-secret memo proves that the f.b.i. is biased against donald trump. it's part of the f.b.i.'s long, shady history of being suspicious of people who probably committed crimes.
11:45 pm
now, a few weeks back, nunes announced he had the explosive memo in a locked room on capitol hill, and suddenly, twitter lit up with #releasethememo. it was the hottest congressional twitter trend since #orrinhatchnipslip. and-- pretty good. ( laughter ) are you people related to him or something? the call to release the memo was huge with trump's most loyal supporters: russian social media bots, who increased use of the #233,000%. well, monday night, republicans listened to their robot constituents and voted to release the memo. no one outside of congress has seen it yet but, apparently, the memo claims that mueller's investigation was based entirely on the controversial steele dossier, paid for originally by his republican opponents and then by his democratic opponents. but just because somebody doesn't like you, that doesn't mean their proof is wrong.
11:46 pm
that's like saying, "honey, don't believe that lipstick on my collar. it was put there by the dry cleaner, and you know that guy's out to get me cuz i'm sleeping with his wife." ( laughter ) that's why i stabbed him! we've got a great show for you tonight, everybody. rose mcgowan is here, and so is senator rand paul. but when we return, my exclusive interview with first lady melania trump. stick around.
11:47 pm
this disinfectant spray says i have to rinse off the disinfectant after i've disinfected? yeah, i'm not gonna do that. seventh generation's disinfectant spray. it kills 99.99% of bacteria, and there's no rinse required. time to come clean with seventh generation. #comeclean ( ♪ ) with 33 individual vertebrae and 640 muscles in the human body, no two of us are alike. life made more effortless through adaptability. the perfect position seat in the lincoln continental. ( ♪ ) if you could see your cough, you'd see all the sickness you're spreading. robitussin cf max. nothing lasts longer
11:48 pm
and treats more symptoms for your cough, cold and flu. (elevator bell ringing) robitussin cf max severe. because it's never just a cough. crew through the lens of google pixel 2. these are the streets where they were born and raised. and this is what keeps them off the streets. these are the horses they take care of: dusty, nicky, and big mama. this is how they bring the people of fletcher street together. there's a deeper story behind every picture. question your lens. ♪
11:49 pm
11:50 pm
( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. give it up for jon batiste and stay human. that's the band right there!
11:51 pm
( cheers and applause ) so good. jon, i cannot-- jon, i cannot help but notice-- i cannot help but notice that you have a special guest with the band. would you introduce who we are honored to have here tonight. >> jon: yes, indeed. we have the incredible curtis harding singing with us. ( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: curtis, thanks. we'll be hearing some songs from curtis' new album, "face your fear." good advice for all of us. thanks for being here, curtis. >> thanks for having me. ( applause ) >> stephen: folks, speaking of the state of the union, a lot of people have noticed that for the first time anyone can remember, the first lady arrived at the state of the union without her husband. so the state of our union is strong. the state of their union? it's complicated. ( laughter ) people are even speculating that melania may have been sending a
11:52 pm
feminist message with her all-white pantsuit, a color favored by those honoring suffragettes and hillary clinton. oh, snap! ( applause ) dressing-- ( applause ) dressing like hillary? the only thing worse would be to show up dressed as obama's birth certificate. ( laughter ) now, the rumor mill-- the rumor mill charning about melania's anger comes on the heels of revelations of stormy daniels and the hush money. apparently, "the reports of a payoff blindsided the first lady." not the sex, the pay off. ( laughter ) he never pays anyone. but, really? how could she be blindsided? i mean, just listen to trump's wedding vows. >> you knew damn well i was a snake before you took me in! ( laughter ). >> stephen: he's honest. the man is honest! as the day is long.
11:53 pm
right after the stormy hit, melania abruptly decided not to accompany the president to davos, switzerland. the official reason given was "scheduling and logistical issues." of course-- scheduling issues. she couldn't go with him because hell hadn't frozen over yet. instead, she flew to mar-a-lago, and relaxed at the spa. yeah, she got a japanese massage. i think it's called, "she hates you." ( laughter ) so-- ( cheers and applause ) eye opener. so, is melania trump at the end of her rope? let's go straight to the source. satellite, first lady melania trump. thank you so much. thank you for coming on the show. how are you feeling, madam first lady?
11:54 pm
>> my life is ocean of loneliness. >> stephen: wait, i'm sorry, what? >> i was just promoting my new fragrance, "ocean of loneliness." it's a decadent bouquet of gardenia blossoms with a hint of "i live in a prison of my own making." ( laughter ). >> stephen: be careful, ma'am. now, madam-- madam first lady, last night's outfit, was that in support of women's rights and suffrage? >> yes. every day i'm suffrage-ing. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i should say, suffrage means voting. >> i know. i cannot wait to vote in next presidential election. >> stephen: for your husband? >> oh, of course! unless i have scheduling and logistical issues. hey, oooh.
11:55 pm
who! who! who! ( laughter ) >> stephen: you were great on "laugh-in" by the way. how did you like your husband's speech last night? >> i was glued to my seat. >> stephen: oh, you enjoyed it? >> no, me, stephen i was literally glued to my seat. that general kelly is quite the prankster, right? i laugh because it's true. >> stephen: so there's no reality to these rumors about your husband's infidelity? >> is fake news, stephen. i do not believe my husband slept with this woman, spanky banjos. >> stephen: i think you mean stormy daniels. >> yeah, that's what i said. i mean, what kind of disgusting pig monster would cheat on his wife with porn star right after
11:56 pm
she give birth and then pay hush money to this cranky ponchos? >> stephen: well, that does sound terrible. >> well, if it were true. but everyone here thinks it's a lie, and i agree. #metoo. ( laughter ) >> stephen: ma'am, for someone who doesn't think any of this is true, you seem upset. >> who's upset? i'm not upset. in fact, if my husband's watching, i have a message: donald, time's up. >> stephen: wait, what? what? ( cheers and applause ) what do you mean? what? what? ( bell ringing ) >> time's up on your cheeseburger. it's ready! happy anniversary, sweetheart! >> stephen: oh, that's nice! did he get you a gift? >> yes! he got me a lovely hat.
11:57 pm
well, he paid for it. i picked it out. >> stephen: melania trump, everyone! we'll be right back with rose mcgowan. the first lady of the united states. happy national soup month. (elevator speaker) going down. oh no. peter? it's kristy. camp jenkins? maybe this will jog your memory. alexa, play "my funky place." (alexa) playing your music. remember our dance? ♪ ♪ yeah, i'm not peter. alexa, note to self. take the stairs next time. get a free moto mod with amazon alexa when you buy a moto z2. available at major carriers. when you buy a moto z2.
11:58 pm
♪ burned me up and down, shno way to cool it. ♪ ♪ ♪ every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey ♪ applebee's handcrafted burgers. any burger just $7.99. now that's eatin good in the neighborhood. to everyone else, ieveryone else. but on the inside, i feel chronicde pai fibromyalgia may be invisible to others, but my pain is real. fibromyalgia is thought to be caused by overactive nerves. lyrica is believed to calm these nerves. i'm glad my doctor prescribed lyrica. for some, lyrica delivers effective relief for moderate to even severe fibromyalgia pain. and improves function. lyrica may cause serious allergic reactions, suicidal thoughts or actions. tell your doctor right away if you have these, new or worse depression, unusual changes in mood or behavior, swelling, trouble breathing, rash, hives, blisters, muscle pain with fever, tired feeling, or blurry vision. common side effects: dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain, swelling of hands, legs and feet. don't drink alcohol while taking lyrica.
11:59 pm
don't drive or use machinery until you know how lyrica affects you. those who've had a drug or alcohol problem may be more likely to misuse lyrica. with less pain, i can do more with my family talk to your doctor today. see if lyrica can help.
12:00 am
12:01 am
( cheers and applause ). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my first guest is an actress, direct, musician, and an activist with her own army. please welcome, rose mcgowan. ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ( cheers and applause )
12:02 am
>> stephen: i look the hoodie. i like the hoodie. >> um, yeah. >> stephen: more guests -- more guests should wear hoodies out here because it's so damn cold. >> it is, but i've occasionally worn suits to-- i actually went to the white house press association dinner when obama was president. >> stephen: yeah. i remember that guy. >> they sat me at the fox news table. epic! >> stephen: they did? >> yes, the farktest table that you could-- we didn't even set this up. the farthest table out there, and i was wearing he's horrible high heels and there were horrible men, horrible, hen. >> stephen: what many them horrible? >> the suits that make people uncomfortable. i think psychologically they make people insane. your arms are t. rexed. you can't go like that. >> stephen: i said i'm looking forward to the time when i can no longer wear suits fair living. that, looks-- >> who made you wear a suit? >> we're all fighting for our
12:03 am
uniforms. >> why. >> stephen: i don't know. you've got an exciting time going on. you have "citizen rose" series on e! your album "planet nine" is out next month, and you have your new book "brave," your ongoing work as i longtime vawk for gender equality. one of the reasons i was looking forward to talking with you is that you-- you said-- i think you're okay with discomfort. >> yeah. >> stephen: you're comfortable with discomfort. >> i think you are, too. >> stephen: i like eye like awkwardness. >> yeah, it makes me-- did you ever see that movie "happiness." >> stephen: very uncomfortable movie. >> laughed so hard. >> stephen: me, too. >> it's about a pedophile. it's terrible. but, like, this excruciating, like, twist of your skin. and i kind of exist there. but not my fault. in "citizens rose" my poor sister, she's canadian. >> stephen: i'm so sorry. >> she's so lucky, they won't take me.
12:04 am
>> stephen: >> they have doctors so there is that. but we were kind of split apart when we were little so we grew up quite interesting in a very different-- we are-- it's fascinating. culturally she comes here and she sees violence on television and she's shocked. and i go there, and there's this stability and not the world's tilting or trying to shake you off of it every moment, terrorizing you feeling. but she was in "citizens rose." i went to get arrested. it was a smashing day. i highly recommend it. >> stephen: where were you getting arrested? >> weirdly enough, i turn down courage street. i swear to god you. >> stephen: turned down courage street. >> and right into the prison. yes, i've had handcuffs on me but no one else in this situation. isn't that grand? >> stephen: why were you arrested, though, because you turned on to courage street? >> i think so, actually. i think, actually, that is in fact the deep truth of it all, stephen. i think i did a long time ago, and that's where-- that's my
12:05 am
street. >> stephen: hence name of the book "brave." >> that was actually my father's nickname for me, and no one is allowed -- >> stephen: brave or courage. >> "the brave one." >> stephen: the brave one. >> and my sisters weren't allowed to tell me until after he dies lest i get a large ego. >> stephen: really, don't tell your sister that she's brave? >brave. >> yes. that. do not tell your sister she's brave. they're very interesting people, as many oferous. but he was extra. >> stephen: well, if i'm i'm not mistaken you grew up in a cult. >> so he thought that was a better alternative to the crap (bleep) world we're living in. he might have been right. it just went wrong for a little bit. >> stephen: i was also raised in the cult called the catholic church. >> right, it's the same. >> stephen: mine's older though. mine's legitimatate because it's older. >> scientology is weird, but there was a dude on a whale's stomach that talked for three days or so but then got spit out
12:06 am
because of jesus. are you following that correctly. >> stephen: you are not. >> that's my interpretation of that story. >> stephen: are you not following that correctly. i'm not saying-- i'm not saying the story i'm about to tell you is less, you know, odd than that. he gets swallowedly by the whale, and he's spit out in the land of ninova. god wants-- >> jesus. >> stephen: it's jonah and the whale. eventually everything goes to jesus. yes, all roads eventually lead back to jesus. question. the-- >> can someone play, that curtis. how about you? ♪ ♪ can i hear it for him? amazing. >> stephen: here's the thing about you-- six months ago, before you and other people had the courage and the bravery to come out and talk about harvey weinstein. >> mine air force year ago. i was the architect. >> stephen: okay, you were. some you had said, "listen, man was being surveilled by mossad
12:07 am
agents in the pay of harvey weinstein, we would have gone that's cuckoo for cocoa puffs. but now we know that's what happened. >> yeah. >> stephen: did you ever think that you were crazy for thinking that? >> no. >> stephen: you didn't a ulz knew it was everybody else. >> stephen: you didn't doubt the picture of reality. >> no. >> stephen: so many people were saying, "what are you talking about?" >> that's not my issue. i just got back from india and everyone is so colorful, and i came here and saw all these khaki pants and t. rex things. and i said what is going on. i think we can do better as a society. i think we can be looser, 10%, have more fun, be better, see more colors, run. what are we doing! it's not working out so well here. am i wrong? there's a bus on fire way mad man and a blindfold and everybody is still talking about it as if it's nice. it's not nice. it's (bleep) weird, right? whoa, what, shake it up. otherwise we're all maybe going to die sooner than we think. and that's what i think. >> stephen: here's the
12:08 am
strangest thing, here's the strangest thing, there's nothing about what you just said-- >> is wrong. >> stephen: is wrong. >> but they'll make me think i was craze for saying it. but it snowed yesterday in new york. and i saw. it's true. it's called gas lighting. it's been gog with men and women in society -- >> stephen: people did specifically try to gas light you. >> very much so. >> stephen: harvey weinstein is still trying to gas light people saying, "no, no, that didn't happen." >> you didn't see what you saw. america, america-- what was that 98 times. >> stephen: 82 times. >> you win. when i saw my brother-- my brother say fighter pilot and when i went to his air force graduation keri was running. i wore a ker kerrey pin. so i went that day. and a lot of men were very aggressive and trying to-- adult males stopped me from going in. >> stephen: going in to where?
12:09 am
>> to see my brother's graduation, because i was wearing a kerry, i asked them, "what is democracy? what are you fighting for? fight for it. it's beautiful." then i had to go in and listen to george bush. duh. he should have left to paint at it because he's good at it. he's really actually good. and i think that's his-- artist interruptus. see what happens when you take creativity away from people? note to everybody. ( applause ) ( laughter ) but-- it's serious. i know i sound like i'm being funny and i am, but what if being fun se-- what if it's actually true. >> stephen: the book is "brave." thank you for being here. >> thank you. by the way, yes, brave! be uncomfortable! be brave! >> stephen: "brave" is on sale now. rose mcgowan, everybody! we'll be right back with senator rand paul. thank you. i'm never gonna be able to sleep with this cold.
12:10 am
i'll take a sick day tomorrow. on our daughter's birthday? moms don't take sick days... moms take nyquil severe. the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, best sleep with a cold, medicine. at at&t, buy one iphone 8 and get one on us. that's one for you, and one for... your bbf your backup singer. your frenemy your boo
12:11 am
your roomie so one phone for you and one phone for someone in your squad. buy an iphone 8 and get a second iphone 8 on us.
12:12 am
pssst. what? i switched to geico and got more. more savings on car insurance? a-ha. and an award-winning mobile app. that is more. oh, there's more. mobile id cards, emergency roadside service... more technology. i can even add a new driver... ...right from her phone! geico. expect great savings and a whole lot more.
12:13 am
♪ strummed guitar you can't experience the canadian rockies through a screen. you have to be here, with us. ♪ upbeat music travel through this natural wonder and get a glimpse of amazing, with a glass of wine in one hand, and a camera in the other, aboard rocky mountaineer. canada's rocky mountains await. call your travel agent or rocky mountaineer for special offers now.
12:14 am
( applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back! folks, you're in for a treat and so am i. i'm so glad my next guest is here, because i always like the chance to talk to a prominent republican. please give a warm, "late show" welcome to the junior senator from kentucky, rand paul. ( applause ) ♪ ♪ >> stephen: nice to see you again. >> i heard republicans love to
12:15 am
come on your show. you having trouble getting republicans? >> stephen: no, there are only a few we want to talk to. you're on-- you're on the short list. >> good. >> stephen: you and ted cruz, my two favorites. ( laughter ) now, it's good to have you back. thanks for coming back. before we talk about anything else what, can you tell us, what do you know about the-- the terrible train wreck that happened today. g.o.p. leadership, friends, family, orp a train to go out to west virginia for a retreat, and there was an accident and derailment. one man was killed. what do you know about that? >> there were over 200 members of congress on the train, senators and house members. i don't think any of them were seriously injured. but i think two members of the truck, at least one died, and another seriously injured. so it was a terrible accident but i guess could have been worse if the train derail pd upon train didn't derail so i don't think there were serious injuries on the train-- other than the engineer. i take that back.
12:16 am
the engineer was seriously injure gld as one of the members of the g.o.p. or someone in the senate who wasn't on the trip, how do you find about it, on the news? i don't mean to be facetious, but is there, like, a phone tree where important information like this is passed around the senate first? >> i happened to be on a news station in new york and heard about it and i got ratted out because i was supposed to be at this thing and i skipped out to watch a play in new york. and no one was supposed to know i was here. i think i'm in trouble now. i was supposed to go to this conference. >> stephen: they would have found you you were in new york tonight at 11:35. >> they would have. >> stephen: you have to learn how to be secretive better. ( laughter ). >> i will tell you, in the last year, i have been involved in a lot of stuff, i was at the shooting in the baseball park, and my wife found out about that on the news-- or actually from a friend. a friend came banging on the door saying, "he's not dead! he's not dead." because it was so horrific and people were finding out about it instantaneously on the news. >> stephen: you've had a hell of a year.
12:17 am
ed abouts being at the shooting at the baseball field where senator scalise was shot. you also were attacked, assaulted, blindsided by a neighbor. i know you punctured a lung. are you okay? >> i've been shot at. i've been mugged. i'm hoping 2018 is a better year. so, you know, i am on the mend, but i found that there's sort of a secret society out there, and people come up to me and say, "you know, i broke three ribs." "i broke two ribs." people come up to all the time and want to commiserate because it is pretty painful. i've been through a lot but i'm on the mend. >> stephen: there are more fun ways to break ribs than be assaulted by your neighbor. i know you have been asked many times what the fight was about and you don't want to talk about that. what was the fight about? ( laughter ). >> the firing thing i guess i would say is i wouldn't characterize it as a fight. i was attacked from behind. i was wearing hearing protection and didn't know it was coming. hadn't spoken with him in a decade. it really wasn't a sort of building, fuming thing where we
12:18 am
had word. it was sort oaf i think he must have lost it, some kind of rage reaction. and, you know, and i'm really proud of my yard. how could someone be so mad about grass clippings, you know. >> stephen: there was a report that maybe that your little-- your clipping pile was too high? and that upset-- how high was the clipping pile, just-- because if it was a fight over clipping piles or an attack over clipping piles, that is the most suburban white man thing i have ever heard. >> i think we are-- we are sometimes channeling a lot of rage both sides, politically and otherwise-- grass clip ago you name it. we are unhappy with each other. and i think sometimes we see people on television and we think that person is not human. they don't hurt, you know. but i can say, look, i was human. i guess a lot of people made light of the fact that i was attacked. but, you know, i was very sick. i had pneumonia twice. i had trouble breathe at night. i really struggled for weeks and weeks to recover from this. but i don't know, i think
12:19 am
there's a way where we ought to be able to have disagreements and figure out ways to get beyond it, if they're political disagreements, or other. i think we try to do some of that in congress. it sort of gets lost in all the clutter of everything else we talk about. but the unwritten story is there's more discussions going across party lines than you would ever believe. >> stephen: well, here's something you'll agree with some democrats about-- and i know you were at the state of the union last night. i want to get to that in just a moment. but let's talk marijuana, for just a second. ( cheers and applause ) would you describe yourself as a libertarian republican? >> very much so. and i-- you know, i'm very much an advocate for freedom. i don't tell people what to do with their freedom, but as long as your doing your freedom on your own time you ought to be able to do pretty much what you want to do as long as you don't hurt somebody glels you're not opposed to legalize marijuana? >> no. we have 28 states that have legalized medical marijuana. and we have half a dozen states
12:20 am
that have legalized recreational marijuana. and i think the government should stay out of it adults should make decisions on what they do, what they drink, what they smoke. >> stephen: how do you feel-- ( applause ) how do you feel about jeff sessions? because jeff sessions is-- is deeply opposed to the idea that states should make this decision themselves. and he is all for returning to prosecution of people who are selling or consuming marijuana in states where it's been legalized. >> i think the best way to imagine is you heard sort of response to a younger crowd. imagine congress and imagine some octogen aryans that just "reeve madness" for the first time and just watched it on the old eight millimeter reels and they think it's the gateway to the end of the world, so they think they should lock these people up. >> stephen: you'll go insane. it's the jazz cigarette.
12:21 am
>> it's very expensive to lock people up but it also ruins young people's lives. one of my complaints on the war on drugs, four of five people arrest read black or brown, poor people who don't have the ability to get an attorney. whites smoke marijuana just as much as black or hispanic, and yet when you look at the prisons, they're full of hispanics and african americans, because we disproportionately arrest poor people, and there are disproportionately more poor people among minorities. it's stark. you go to our prisons, and then when people get out, you can't vote again. you can't be hired again. you either go back to -- >> stephen: are you for people who have served their sentence to be allowed it vote? >> yes. >> stephen: okay. ( applause ) that's good. is that legal in kentucky? can they do that in kentucky? >> kentucky is one of the worst states on this. but i have lobbied before the state legislature to give people the right back to vote.
12:22 am
i cosponsored a bill with harry road to get back your federal right to vote after you've served your time. and i think it should be about second chances. most of us, for religious reasons, believe people have second chances. i think the law should give you a second chance. and, really, if you look at the people in prison that are sort of making mistakes sometimes, they're making mistakes as young-- mostly men and mostly at a young age-- and they ought to be given a second chance. >> stephen: legally-- ( applause ) i agree. i agree. i mean, legally, i have to ask you, are you high right now? ( laughter ). >> no, but they had, like, three bottles of vodka, and i usually don't drink before, but they said, gahead and drink." >> stephen: back in the green room. >> they told me, "stephen loves the guests to have a few drinks." >> stephen: i love it when the senators from lubricated. i really do. we have to take a little break. we'll be back with more from senator rand paul, everybody. stick around. ...
12:23 am
from your first dream to your first dollar. from between shifts and after hours. from the struggle, to the reckoning. to the moment you sit in that auditorium and realize that your whole life is about to change. what if a university could guarantee fixed affordable tuition... from your first class, to your last. whoa... (on baby monitor) we've got a situation here. i've never seen anything like that. will you get my phone, please? you're not taking a picture of that? no, i want to video chat with a doctor (cooing) (grunt) oh! (clattering) (toys clicking, buzzing) whoa... (straining) i'm okay. need a doctor after hours? unitedhealthcare can help. see a doctor right on your phone, right from your home. is that normal? that's normal for a new baby. and what about him? hey, doc. doctor: that's normal for a new parent. unitedhealthcare. ♪ oh, ba-baby
12:24 am
♪ hey! ba-ba-baby ♪ oh, baby-baby ♪ look, look so good ♪ oh ( ♪ ) ♪ hey! ( ♪ ) ♪ oh, ba-baby ♪ hey! ba-ba-baby ♪ oh, baby-baby ♪ look, look so good ♪ oh, ba-baby ♪ look so good ♪ oh, ba-baby fortified.tored. replenished. emerge everyday with emergen-c packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. why not feel this good everyday? emerge and see.
12:25 am
12:26 am
♪ ♪ next time, i want you on my bowling team.
12:27 am
[ laughs ] rodney. bowling. classic. can i help you? it's me. jamie. i'm not good with names. celeste! i trained you. we share a locker. -moose man! -yo. he gets two name your price tools. he gets two? i literally coined the phrase, "we give you coverage options based on your budget." -that's me. -jamie! -yeah. -you're back from italy. [ both smooch ] ciao bella. (elevator speaker) going down. oh no. peter? it's kristy. camp jenkins? maybe this will jog your memory. alexa, play "my funky place." (alexa) playing your music. remember our dance? ♪ ♪ yeah, i'm not peter. alexa, note to self. take the stairs next time. get a free moto mod with amazon alexa when you buy a moto z2.
12:28 am
available at major carriers. when you buy a moto z2. what from your first dream to your first dollar. from between shifts and after hours. from the struggle, to the reckoning. to the moment you sit in that auditorium and realize that your whole life is about to change. what if a university could guarantee fixed affordable tuition... from your first class, to your last.
12:29 am
we're back here with senator rand paul. so you were at the state of the
12:30 am
union last night. i saw you clapping there. but when you were running against donald trump you said trump would be a terrible president, in that seat right there on this show. two years ago you said, "he's a blowhard who's unqualified to be the commander in chief specifically because he didn't know what the nuclear triad was." now it's like stand up when he says nice things? ( booing ). >> here's the thing-- here's the thing, stephen. i'm going to let you in on a secret okay? >> stephen: sure. >> every time i stood up last night and was clapping, i was clapping for myself. that was me clapping for myself. >> stephen: oh, okay. >> i think you've misinterpreted that whole clap thing. >> stephen: let's talk about something that, apparently, republicans and democrats can agree on, which is that both sides of the aisle say absolutely, vociferously, we want to do something about daca. the american people overwhelmingly, both exprns democrats, overwhelmingly want to pass some legislation to
12:31 am
allow the dreamers to stay in the united states and give them a path towards citizenship. ( applause ) why not pass a clean bill that does that? >> i'm an advocate for finding a compromise. i'm also an advocate for increasing legal immigration. we need more legal immigration. it's part of how a country becomes productive, is through immigrants. >> stephen: we only have two legal immigrants here tonight. >> immigrants are, contrary to the impression some people say, are by and large good people. the vast mamanafort jort of immigrants are good people, hardworking people. >> stephen: crime statistics are lower-- >> i grew up in texas. the people i went to school with who were first generation from mexico, hardworking people, all hardworking people. so by and large, immigrants are good. so i will propose amendments to the bill to increase legal immigration because we have a lot of people here on visas that are here legally. they still can't get their green cards after many, many years.
12:32 am
we need bigger numbers for legal immigration. >> stephen: what about ice going into custody hearings, grabbing people, and dragging them off. >> i had a great deal of sympathy for the gentleman who had been here for 30 years ha 15-year-old, a 12-year-old, and was married to an american citizen. i don't understand why we're sending somebody like that back. he was workin working in our coy was a productive citizen so we need to figure something out. one thing i floated, was admit the daca children, normalize them, give them a green card, but we count them towards the total. it isn't normal immigration plus daca. it's normal immigration minus daca. basically, you would still have a million. or increase it to 1.2 million for green cards. and instead of somebody waiting outside the country to come, we internally immigrate people who are already here. but to increase the people on the right we count those numbers. >> stephen: we're way over time. but i have to ask you.
12:33 am
you said the bob mueller investigation was a witch hunt and a distraction of congress' time. do you think it should be ended? do you think they should get rid of rosenstein, release the memo, and bloat whole thing up, and forget it ever happened. >> my biggest concern is over something madison said in the beginning of our country. he said men are not angels and that's why we need more oversight of government. our intelligence community has the ability to listen to every phone call. every one of your phone calls could be listened to if they wanted to. every one of your emails can be tracked. you who call and how long you speak can be tracked. every bank transaction can be tracked. i think because men are not angels and women are not, either, there could be bias entering into the intelligence community and we have to be very, very careful that somebody gives them a check and a balance and that should be a judge and warrant. one of the things i fought with over this collection of fisa data is we should go to a judge to get to that. what does that have to do with mueller? it has-- i'm concerned that we've given too much power to a prosecutor. he was supposed to go after russian collusion.
12:34 am
so far he's gotten someone over-- he recorded general flynn's phone call and then got him to say something inconsistent with what was recorded in the phone call. think about it from a personal perspective. if i had 1,000 phone calls from stephen colbert, what i could learn, and if i could interview, and if you say anything inconsistent with what you said on your private phone calls, i could put you in jail. >> stephen: well, what i said in the private phone calls was that, "yeah, i met with the russians over sanctions," and you asked me, "did you meet with the russians over sanctions?" and you say, "no." then you lock me up. we've got to go. i'm sorry. >> thank you. >> stephen: senator rand paul, everybody. no, don't go yet! we'll be right back. stick around!
12:35 am
12:36 am
12:37 am
>> stephen: that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guests will be michael shannon, meghan mccain, and musical guest, john mellencamp. now stick around for james corden and his guests, martin short and lisa kudrow. good night! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh ♪ are you ready y'all to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ do not worry about the words i'm singing. ♪ it will be all right. ♪ it's the "late, late show." ladies and gentlemen, all the


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on