tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS July 9, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
need. little wea captioning sponsored by cbs >> on the path toward denuclearization in north korea there seems to be some major bumps in the road. it's been less than a month after donald trump and kim jung-un met in a whirlwind summer but now tensions are flairing again. >> glorious peoples of north korea, the trump-kim relationship is on the rocks. i found out that he has been too-timing me with another dictator. they will be all summiting together and stuff. what gives, don? i gave you my heart. you gave me this elton john cd signed if the by elton john.
did our summit meanng we shook hands for a really long time. that's like, diplomacy third base. but i guess it was just whim, bim, thank you kim. all i have left is our memories. oh, and of course all my nuclear weapons. >> it's the late show with stephen colbert! tonight a supreme disappointment. plus stephen welcomes gordon ramsay, andrew rannells and musical guest junun with ben tzur, jonny greenwood and rajasthan and jon batiste. and now live from the ed sullivan theater it is stephen colbert! (cheers and applause)
>> stephen: thanks, folks. please, have a seat. too kind. welcome, ladies and gentlemen to the late show. i'm your host stephen colbert. (cheers and applause) well, folks, it's happened. donald trump has announced his pick for the supreme court. one assumes. (laughter) we taped this show a few hours before the announcement so no one tell me how roe v. wade ends. but using cutting edge technology, i will now reveal donald trump's pick. the president nominated. >> u.s. court of appeals for the district of columbia brett kavanaugh. >> stephen: man, wow, i did not expect him to nominate that guy, girl or fast food mascot.
(laughter) wow, it's really just anybody's guess at this point because on sunday afternoon he still had not made his final decision on a supreme court nominee. we've all been there. (laughter) it's sunday night, you got a supreme court nomination due, (laughter) but you are procrastinating. >> i don't feel like doing this tonight. why can't i just nominate neil gorsuch again. give him two votes, double stuffed judge. (laughter) but trump swears es sea taking the task seriously. today he tweeted. >> i -- that the most important decision a u.s. president can make is the selection of a supreme court justice. >> stephen: what do you mean you have long heard. are you still asking people what your job is? what, supreme court, budget meetings. i only took this gig so i could
nail marilyn monroe. wait, she's what? you you know, he didn't know. thank you. you know-- you know-- wow, summer time audiences are nice. you know trump considers it a crucial decision because yesterday while he was at his country club in bedminster, the injuriesy white house as no one calls it,-- jersey white house, as no one calls it, he was being advised by sean hannity. no, no, it's very common. presidents have always relied on the advice of tv personalities. reagan only supported the contras after the weekend summit he had with alf. (laughter) and apparently hannity got some bang for his blather because reporters are that some white house aidees are annoyed trump is announcing his scotus pick at
9 p.m. in order to help sean hannity's rating. wow, wow, and with an episode that big there is no way trump is going to miss it. look, i am honored to announce that i hearby nominate-- hold on, hannity's on. , oh, he's got trump. he's announcing something. i don't know what. he's pausing, he's pausing right now-- i-- i do not trust that guy. well, we'll have more on this continuing story as-- as america continues? (laughter) now while we were on break, trump had another rally. this time in montana, in montana. and he went off script and on crazy. he just road crazy off a cliff into beautiful coo coo canyon,
for one thing, he attacked elizabeth warren's claim of her native american heritage. >> let's say i'm debating pocahontas, right? i promise you i will do, this i will take-- you know those kits they sell on television for $2, learn your heritage. we will take that little kit and say, but we have to do it gently, because we're in the metoo generation. so we have to be very gentle. and we will say, i will give you a million dollars to your favorite charity paid for by trump if you take the test and it shows you are an indian. >> stephen: and trump is a real expert on dna tests. he has performed dozens of them. >> look, take it a again, eric, there's got to be a mistake. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: so crazy stuff, but i know what are you saying.
you are saying stephen, did he ramble for two straight minutes about elton john, hockey and brains? let's find out. >> i have broken more elton john records. he seems to have a lot of records. and we beat-- and i by the way, i don't vay musical instrument, i don't have a guitar or organ, no organ, elton has an organ. and lots of other people helping. no, we have broken a lot of records, we have brocken virtually every record because you know look, i only need this face. they need much more room. for basketball, for hockey, for all the sports they need a lot of room, we don't need t we have people in that space so we break all these records. but really, we do it without like the musical instruments. this is the only musical, the mouth. and hopefully the brain attached to the mouth, right? the brain, more important than the mouth is the brain. the brain is much more important. >> stephen: and in a few hours
the brain that formed that sentence will be picking the next supreme court justice. and hey, hey, for no reason, remember when people were thinking trump's brain might be on the frits but then his-- fritz but then his doctor ronny jackson said it want because trump took a test where he successfully identified a camel. but then dr. ronny turned out to be a pill popping deal that drank on the job but we never sent in another nonpill doctor to test trump's brain? remember that? >> jon: yeah, yeah. >> stephen: something got me think being that. now we have to remember this is the president of the united states talking. and i, frankly, do not feel qualified to respond to his elton john brain speech. so i have decided to bring in someone who is more qualified in our new segment "the late show's counterpoint from a man who just got hit on the head with a sack of bricks."
(laughter) (cheers and applause) good evening, children. you know president donald turn i said a lot of good things on that loud place. yes, the brain is the captain of the mouth but did he ever stop to consider that the hands don't know what the eyes can see or hear? you know shaquille o'neal broke a lot of back boards but had to break a lot of legs but do i it alone with no knees, no knees. and then there are clouds, they're big, they're small, they rain, they snow, pick a lane. in concussion. there's no way i could be the devil because i done see a ring on this finger. now if you excuse me, have i to go i just found out that i am trump's supreme court nominee.
(applause) we have a great show for you tonight. gordon ramsay. stick around. two motorcycles, a boat, and an r.v. i would not want to pay that insurance bill. [ ding ] -oh, i have progressive, so i just bundled everything with my home insurance. saved me a ton of money. -love you, gary! -you don't have to buzz in. it's not a question, gary. on march 1, 1810 -- [ ding ] -frédéric chopin. -collapsing in 226 -- [ ding ] -the colossus of rhodes. -[ sighs ] louise dustmann -- [ ding ] -brahms' "lullaby," or "wiegenlied." -when will it end? [ ding ] -not today, ron. -when will it end? [ ding ] (dog) did you know my dander can coto poor indoor air quality? and...i ate one of your shoes. (vo) filtrete healthy living filters with exclusive 3m filtration technology
help capture the small particles others can't. keep the dog. change your filter. filtrete. let's clear the air. your plaques are always there at the worst times. constantly interrupting you with itching, burning and stinging. being this uncomfortable is unacceptable. i'm ready. tremfya® works differently for adults with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. with tremfya®, you can get clearer and stay clearer. in fact, most patients who saw 90% clearer skin at 28 weeks... stayed clearer through 48 weeks. tremfya® works better than humira® at providing clearer skin and more patients were symptom free with tremfya®. tremfya® may lower your ability to fight infections, and may increase your risk of infections. before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. tell your doctor if you have an infection or have symptoms such as fever, sweats, chills, muscle aches or cough. before starting tremfya®, tell your doctor if you plan to or have recently received a vaccine. ask your doctor about tremfya®.
>> stephen: jon batiste and stay human, everybody. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thank you, jon. welcome back. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: welcome back. it it is good to be back. >> jon: it is great to be back. >> stephen: good to be back with these lovely people. >> jon: oh, man strks good.
>> stephen: last week you might have noticed we were on hiatus celebrating the fourth of july which when you work on tv, lasts ten days. >> yeah, ten wol days. >> stephen: where were you. >> i was hear. >> stephen: i was in south carolina. >> jon: what were you doing down there? >> stephen: i personally was devastating the shrimp population of south carolina. sadly many of them drowned in an ocean of rum. >> jon: oh yeah, yeah, yeah, i will bet. >> stephen: speaking of environmental disasters, donald trump got rid of epa director and man who turned down help at lens craft evers-- crafters scott pruitt. pruitt is just the latest official that the trump administration has excreted, in a little over a year they have lost gary cohn, hope hicks, rob porter omarosa, tom pries, steve bannon, reince priebus, sean spiesesser, an anthony scaramucci, sebastian gorka michael flynn, dr. ronny jackson and rex tillerson. so many people that we snuck in
wilford brimley and you didn't even notice. right there. hey,-- for those of us in the media, this ongoing staff purge is -- is amazing to watch. it's like a form of blood support. we ever we're riffity-- rivetted it is like something out of the hunger games. no, wait! it is the hungary to leave power games. -- hungry to leave power games. yes, hello! welcome. welcome citizens, one and all to the hungry to leave power games! oh, hmmmm, someone is getting erased. come caligula. come boy, yes, yes, down, down.
tonight, citizens, we honor epa head scott pruitt. a man whose only flaw was being terrible. (laughter) s ahead of the epa pruitt had a passion for protecting our nation's fragile industrialists. early on he met privately with the ceo of dow chemical whereupon he decided to approve chorpyrifos, the pesticide that health studies showed can harm children's brains, which is not evil, according to anyone who has been huffing chorpyrifos. (laughter) do we have, do we have-- yes, hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm. hmmmm, hmmmm, yes, i can really smell the, i can't read. (laughter) oh, wow, do you know it is important, if are you going to spray yourself in the face with a mist. take off your glasses. that's the key.
(applause). >> stephen: aha!, this is why, this is is why you do this [bleep] in rehearsal. hmmmm, i can feel the brain damage already. (laughter) then, then citizens, then, no, no, no, no, are you on the wagon. now then scotty spent millions of taxpayer cash on security, first class travel including unnecessary trips to italy and more oako not to mention spending $1500 on 12 customized fountain pens from a jewelry store, pricey, yes. but you need only the finest pen when this is your signature. is it me or does that look like scott penis? yes. (applause)
it is like deep down he knows he's a dick. ha ha. it's a cry for help! (laughter) now are they-- nope, still no, all right. pruitt, pruitt also bought a 4 3,000 dollar sound proof phone booth. i get trk we all have to make embarrassing phone calls to our doctors. hello? hello, this is scott penis, i've got a burning rash on my pruitt. (laughter) scott, scott also had his security detail run errands for him including picking up his dry cleaning and taking him in search of his favorite moisturizing lotions at the ritz carlton. getting a hotel room for the moisturizer is like having a baby so people will give you free socks. doesn't he know they just fill up those little bottles from a big lotion jug. grab t andn, stt,
(laughter) but pruitt wasn't just in this for himself. no, because he used his position to try to get a chick-fill-a franchise for his wife which reminded me, andro! (laughter) andro, this is andro my tongueless man servant. andro, andro! sad news. i was unable to secure you a carl's, jr. franchise. don't cry, shhh. shhh, no, shhh. but did you go by the arby's and grand me a handful of their delicious horsy lotions? oh yes, oh good, yes, got to stay moist, must moisturize. oh yes. hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm. hmmmm hmmmm. yes, hmmmm, hmmmm, stay focused.
stay focused. don't you look at me. don't you look at me! don't you look-- shhh. yes, quickly now. go, go, i will give you a 20 minute head start no edge weapons. again, there is a reason why you are supposed to use these in rehearsal. (laughter) deferl improved the smell. unfortunately pruitt was forced to resign last week after the news came out that earlier this year pruitt directly appealed to president donald trump to fire attorney general jeff sessions and let pruitt run the department of justice instead. i'm so sorry, scottment can i only imagine how great their pens were. but freuity-- pruitt was ever gracious in defeat writing in his resignation letter to president trump my desire and service to you has always been to bless you.
i believe you're serving as president today because of god's providence. i pray as i have served you, that i have blessed you. you must admire a man whose willing to pucker up and smooch the old bless-hole. (laughter) [bleep] now it's time to bid secretary preuity a symbolic farewell. we will send him down the toxic river in his very own sound proof booth. there you go. good-bye, scott. there you are, in your booth. there you go. of course with a generous-- there you go. there you go. there you go. have some of that. there you go. (cheers and applause) there you go. there you go. there you go, there you go. there.
ininside pruitt will forever be serenaded by simon and gar funk he'll the sound of silence. jimmy, turn it on. of course you can't hear it. cuz it's a sound proof booth. you couldn't believe how much money we wasted on that song. now-- (applause) let us bid fairwell to the fallen. ♪ (laughter). ♪ (cheers and applause). >> stephen: good-bye scott pruitt, and remember to stay moisturized in hell. we'll be right back with gordon
ramsay. unlimited wireless plans. it comes with a ton of entertainment options. great, can you sign for this? yeah. hey, uh... what's in that one? that's a shark. new and only with at&t, you can get unlimited data, 30 plus channels of live tv, and your choice of things like hbo or amazon music. more for your thing. that's our thing. visit att dot com. discover our largest variety of crab and crab dishes all year! like new crabfest combo. your one chance to have new jumbo snow crab with tender dungeness crab. or try crab lover's dream. sweet, juicy king crab and jumbo snow crab cozied up with crab linguini alfredo. even our shrimp is crab-topped! so hurry in and get your butter-dunkin' game on! 'cause crabfest will be gone in a snap. and now bring home the seafood you crave with red lobster to go.
call or order online today. you crave with red lobster to go. 60% of women wear the wrong size pad and can experience leaks. you don't have to with always my fit try the next size up and get up to 20% better coverage day or night. because better coverage means better protection always (music) [glass squeaking] [marker squeaking] (music) you need to power your wellness. new emergen-c probiotics plus. purposeful probiotics to help boost your microbiome, plus vitamin c to support your natural immune defenses. new emergen-c probiotics plus. emerge and see.
>> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back to the show. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is a world renowned chef with seven michelin stars and almost that many tv shows, please welcome back to the late show gordon ramsay. (cheers and applause) >> thank you. nice to see you. >> stephen: nice to see you too. you know, i wasn't going to ask you this but one of the things that struck me this time and last time you came out here, shook your hand, gaifer you a
pat on the back, you are really fit, is it hard for a guy that is eating food all the time to stay fit. >> because i'm a chef you want me to be a fat [bleep], don't you. chefs are fit today. you think all the copper pans we lift, frying pan, all that beef, you have to be fit. >> stephen: so this is copper pans. >> copper pans and this is, yeah, this is serious copper pans. >> stephen: did you play sports. >> big soccer fan. >> stephen: oh, well, you must be really excited because england is going to the semis. >> semifinal, yes, wednesday night. >> stephen: right, yes, against-- i mean this is so exciting that i almost enjoy soccer. it is really-- (laughter) against those croats, they are taf, man. >> it would be better if the u.s.a. team was qualifying. >> stephen: yes, that would be interesting. >> it's going to be a great game, fingered crossed. we hadn't hit the semifinals in 28
the last 1956, the ar i w born. so finning ares crossed. >> stephen: so you, you, you root for england. >> yes. >> stephen: but you weren't born there. >> no, i'm scottish folks. >> stephen: how do your folks back home feel about that. >> they give me a hard time. mom has a very broad scottish accent. i was only there for about four years and then grew up, stratford. >> stephen: stratford on avon, shakespeare's hometown. >> yes, lady arden's house, reciting shakespeare throughout school. it was a pain in 9 ass. >> stephen: is there good food in shakespeare. >> no, dreadful, heavy, full of oats and just cooked for three weeks and tasted all [bleep]. not good. >> stephen: i don't want to get too politics but there is iu had th a hearing about. yookedr vladimint >> yes. >> stephen: how is the pleasure on that. >> if i [bleep] that one up i su
something back. >> i flew in this morning, right, from the u.k. >> stephen: i did not know that. >> i arrived about 10:30 and behind me was tony blair. so how funny, we are talking about cooking, literally for both of those incredible men. and an amazing lunch and that kind of lunch you [bleep] make sure the seasoning seasoning is, quite nerve-racking but at the same time pretty-- putin he say tough cookie.> >> stephen: i hear he is a nice guy, supernice guy. you have got this show, where you are driving around the united states. the show is called 24 hours to hell and back. >> yes. >> stephen: is there an american food where you go we should have that food back home. you guys have something that is common here that you guys don't eat that much. like i have seen you make pancakes and say why done we have these more back in england. >> yeah. >> stephen: is there anything else we have in america a lot that you would like to have back
there. >> grit, maybe. >> stephen: really? i heard you had a problem with grits. >> oh, come on. >> stephen: because i make grits. i want to show you a dish i made, this is a dish i made for jon batiste. that is shrimp and grits with the shrimp gravy an two bacon bunny ears. i gave this to jon-- how good was it, jon batiste. >> jon: it was killer. >> but it looks terrible it lacks like someone's puked in that. >> stephen: yeah. >> and the two fingers up. in the u.k. when someone gives you two fingers t is not pleasant. so presentation is lacking. >> stephen: wait a second, presentation is backing lacking, that's fantastic. it's like a broth with shrimp what would you do with it. >> i would make it more creamy. sort of whip some butter in thex th looks dul e, come on.
come on. >> stephen: you are a not a nice person. but here's the thing, what i do like, on master chef junior, are you nice to the kids, because you're har be. you are like an avenging angel on someone you think is not doing a good job. but how are you nice to these children if are you such a mean, terrible person most of the time. (laughter) >> they're bloody eight years of age. [bleep], what do you expect, wake up you lyle [bleep], get a grip, are you useless [bleep]. you can't talk like that to kids. [bleep] i mean-- . >> stephen: i have the emotional development of a child. and you attacked me. >> you deserve it, serving grits like that. >> stephen: all right. >> so i am firm and fair. i say i am not your perfect soccer coach, we will will go up, go down, fall out, fall in, but you will leaf a much better person after the end of the showing. and they are amazing, they are supertalented, hungry individuals that may not have
done well with english math, geography but give them that canvas to cook and they are bloody brilliant. >> stephen: how old were you when you started cooking. >> 37, no i started at 19. but mum was an amazing cook. she ran this little restaurant in avon called a could be web tea house, not the most magic-- . >> stephen: it does not sound clean. >> no, she had the occasional sort of institute littles hang out back and i used to wash up. >> stephen: mice. >> little bigger than that because they were sort of big fat rats. i said mum there say rad in the back. she said take the dust pan and back it over the head. >> stephen: lightning round what does gored an ramsay eat on a plane. >> i don't eat food on a plane, no. >> stephen: watching a movie. >> watching a move year, curry, a beautiful butter chicken. >> stephen: okay. >> yeah. >> stephen: you have a butter movie theeters than ia soccer g. >> i am not good at eating while
that level of pressure is on. >> stephen: on the road shooting in a remote location, if you don't know what kind of food, what is your safety. >> i play it safe, stick to the [bleep] chicken wings. >> stephen: craving food after a night of drinking. >> i don't drink that heavy. >> stephen: really? >> no, i don't. honestly no, club sandwich. >> stephen: if you drank heavier that grits would have looked good. and what is your last meal. >> my last meal, i would go for the most amazing beef wellington. >> stephen: your show is called 24 hour totion hell and back. take me to the center of the inferno. what is the some of the most hellish stufer you have seen. >> it gets harry, i sart out undercover, and they don't know it's me. i already have the damage in terms of where the problems is. >> stephen: so you are going into a restaurant in trouble. >> in trouble, almost on its last legs. i look at the food, the presentation, and then the owners. sometimes they are fractured relationships, are starting to dwid el and more importantly
customers aren't biting. they need to stay into the neighborhood and remain a classy sort of neighborhood jointed. and they get lost in their ways and i fix them. >> stephen: what are some of the worst things you have seen. >> new orleans, a couple months back i told pie band members don't even ask for toast. when i turn the toast upside down there say bloody mouse in there. it was delicious. i said to the lady i said [bleep] there say mouse in here. she said we don't use that side of the toaster. as if there is crispy fury thing was there the last three months and they are like-- yes, yes. what else. >> stephen: i heard there was a tea house in stratford on avon that had a lot of rats. >> that was my mum's joint. food dated back to 2012, sauces with old on there. raw food, in the same-- thash is
cross con nam nation, you just poisoned half the neighborhood right there. so i take off my fat suit, get rid of my beard and get to work in 24 hours. >> stephen: 24 hours at that location. >> yeah, i mean it is absolutely full on. >> stephen: have you ever failed? >> never, not yet. >> stephen: thanks so much for being here, good to see you again. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: 24 hours to hell and back airs wednesdays on fox. gordon ramsay, everybody. we'll be right back with andrew gordon ramsay, everybody. we'll be right back with andrew rannells.
gordon ramsay, everybody. we'll be right back with andrew rannells. so i asked my doctor about truvada for prep. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away. they may do more tests to confirm you are still hiv negative. serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems, kidney failure, and bone problems, which may lead to fractures. rare, life-threatening side effects include a build-up of lactic acid and liver problems. tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis. if you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking truvada without talking to your doctor. common side effects include stomach pain, headache, and weight loss. ask your doctor about your risk of getting hiv and if truvada for prep may be right for you. i wanted to do more. that's why i'm on that pill. truvada for prep.
♪ it's so hard to believe ♪ but it's all coming back me. ♪ baby, baby, baby. all you can eat is back, baby. applebee's. hi there.me! so, what do you look for in a vehicle? sleek designs. performance. dependability is top on my list. well then, here's some vehicles that deliver on that. woah! wow. oh jeez! that's our truck! it's our truck! and they're our cars! that's my chevy! chevy's the only brand to earn j.d. power dependability awards across cars, trucks and suvs three years in a row. awesome. i'm proud. it's like a dynasty. it's impressive. [ grunting ] [ ominous music playing ] [ grunting ] [ grunting ] skyscraper. rated pg-13.
thiswhatever size.le streaming tv for your family, it's saving money with flexible channel packs. live tv and the latest shows to stream. and all your streaming apps in one place... - even netflix. this is how xfinity makes life simple. easy. awesome. get started with xfinity internet and tv at a new low price, just $44.99 a month for 12 months. plus, ask about flexible channel packs. click, call or visit a store today.
>> s: everybody. welcome back, everybody. ladies and gentlemen, you know my next guest from hbo's girls and the book of mormon, currently strarring on broadway in the boys in the bandment please welcome andrew rannells. plus (applause) nice to see you. >> it's nice to see you, welcome back from your holiday. >> stephen: oh, i thought were you welcoming me back to my show. >> welcome back to the show. >> stephen: welcome become to the late show. >> thank you. >> stephen: i like summer time andrew rannells. i like the summer time suit going on there. >> thank you, i'm glad you approved. it felt right for summer. >> stephen: how has your summer been.
>> i've been doing this play, the boys in the band all summer. it say really great time, it say great group of guys we are having a lot of fun, halfway through our run. >> stephen: boys in the band at the booth theater. >> yep. >> stephen: the cast sin credsable. jim parsons, zachary quinto. >> charlie carver, michael washington, bryant hutchinson, it is a great group of guys, it is that point in the run, let me be clear, i am a professional. >> stephen: no one says you weren't. >> i keep it very professional but i do enjoy, i like to have fun at work. >> stephen: how many shows a weak. >> eight shows a week socker we are at the point now and luckily for me jim parsons, he likes to have fun at work. so we started this thing now where he will say to me, our dressing rooms are next to each other. he starts the show, i enter a few minutes in. the other day he came in, i just heard the craze ye thing, bryce-- howard going o be on american ninja warrior.
is that possible. is she competing. i said let may tell you and i will tell you on stage. so when i walk on stage, he hugs may hello and other people are chatting and i was hugging him and saying she is in the a contestant, it's a crossover, cross propromotion for jurassic park, she is not competing, she is hosting. oh thank god. >> stephen: has the audience heard you say this. >> no, we just slip it in. >> stephen: oh, okay because it wab very confusing. >> no, we just whisper it to each other. >> stephen: a place in 1968 withness that would be very confusing. >> i don't think they were around. >> but we like to challenge each other and see if we can-- . >> stephen: that sounds very professional. >> i mean, you know. >> stephen: sure. >> you like to have fun. we're just trying to have fun, stephen that's all. >> stephen: how did you have fun as a kid, was it always like singing and dancing. you grew up in only aha!. what was fun? >> i mean i watched way too much
television. >> stephen: there is no such thing as too much television. >> st a psa for just watching television. i am the fourth of five kids so by the time my younger sister and i came along, i think my mother and father were just like [bleep] it. it's like, watch whatever you want. we were much whatting crazy-- i guess kids just do, this you get on a kick, i remember we watched pretty woman every day, like every day of the summer one year. we did that, dirty dancing. >> stephen: heartwarming story of prostitution. >> the hooker with the heart of gold, kid. >> stephen: exactly. >> yes,. >> stephen: what was your favorite tv show. >> i mean i basically watched whatever my parents wamped. a lot of knots landing with my mom and then my dad, he loved miami vice so we would watch a lot of miami vice. >> stephen: sure. >> you know, so i learned all about the car tell at a young young age. i disn know what they were snorting but it seemed fun. so sometimes you would bust open a pixie stick and-- cut up some lines. >> stephen: seriously. >> yeah. i didn't know what i was doing
but i was like it seems right. if it is good enough for crock et and tubs, good enough for this guy. >> stephen: i can manage snorting pixie sticks might be almost as bad for you for cocaine. >> i'm not saying it ended well but i certainly did it. >> stephen: speaking of childhood you have been writing a memoir. >> yes. >> stephen: howl are you, memoir man. >> well, i'm 39, i'm about to be 40 next month. >> stephen: you are 39. >> yes. >> stephen: you look fantastic. >> thanks, it's these tv lights, it really blows you out. >> stephen: how rev la tore is it? >> about the to tell books. >> yeah, got to sell books. you know, i get a loved kids. it is a stage where young college age or younger than that who were asking me like well, what is the short cut. what is the fast way in, and i did not have like a real ease into the business. it was a lot of ears of like scrapping around new york. >> stephen: what was the scrappiest moment in new york you can remember. >> i mean my lowest job probably
was i was a greeter at the warner brothers store on 57th and 5th it does not exist. and i had to stand there and say welcome to the warner brother's store, aide floors of fun. and i had to do that for like-- . >> stephen: is that how would you do it. >> sometime i would say welcome to the warner brothers store, eight floors of stuff. and i would get yelled at. andrew, you have to stay fun. >> stephen: give me like, if you had done it the way they wanted, you look in that cam rand assay it the way that they wanted. >> hey, welcome to the warner brother's store, eight floors of fun. >> stephen: but i ended up quitting in the mids elf a shift because this woman came up to me, also by the way i knew nothing about the merchandise. i new nothing about the layout of the store. i was just there to say hello. this woman came up to me and said where are the tweety bird mud flaps because we sold those. and i was like first of all,
this is so depressing. don't buy them. and-- don't. and i don't know where they-- i don't-- i barely work here y would i know that. so i went up to my manager and i was like i have to leave. and she is like are you sick. and i was lick no but something bad might happen if i stay here any longer. so i am just going go. she was like right now. and i was like yeah. and-- . >> stephen: you quitted. >> i never went back. >> stephen: wow. >> i did that a lot. >> stephen: you. >> you seem troubled. >> stephen: i admire you. >> really. >> stephen: i admire the way you quit. i have never quit a job in my life. >> you have never quit a job. >> stephen: i have just sustain taken a leave of absence. can i go back at any time. >> you can go back to that. >> stephen: who knows if this go fall through. >> its' true, you should vay backup, got to vay backup. >> stephen: andrew, lovely to he sue, happy summer. the boys in the band is at the booth theater. through august 119.
andrew rannells, everybody. we'll be right back with a performance by junun.d touch shows how we really feel. but does psoriasis ever get in the way? embrace the chance of 100% clear skin with taltz. up to 90% of those with moderate to severe psoriasis had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. most people were still clearer after one year. with taltz, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. don't use if you're allergic to taltz.
before starting, you should be checked for tuberculosis. taltz may increase risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. tell your doctor if you have an infection, symptoms, or received a vaccine or plan to. inflammatory bowel disease can happen with taltz, including worsening of symptoms. serious allergic reactions can occur. ready for a chance at 100% clear skin? ask your doctor about taltz. ♪ get on up, mama. ♪ get on up. ♪ do what you want. ♪ do you want, let the record hop. ♪
to most people, i look like... ...most people. but on the inside, i feel chronic, widespread pain. fibromyalgia may be invisible to others, but my pain is real. fibromyalgia is thought to be caused by overactive nerves. lyrica is believed to calm these nerves. i'm glad my doctor prescribed lyrica. fibromyalgia pai delivers and improves function. lyrica may cause serious allergic reactions, suicidal thoughts or actions. tell your doctor right away if you have these, new or worse depression, unusual changes in mood or behavior, swelling, trouble breathing, rash,
hives, blisters, muscle pain with fever, tired feeling, or blurry vision. common side effects: dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain, swelling of hands, legs and feet. don't drink alcohol while taking lyrica. don't drive or use machinery until you know how lyrica affects you. those who've had a drug or alcohol problem may be more likely to misuse lyrica. with less pain i can do more. ask your doctor about lyrica. if you're elligble, you could pay as little as $25 a month. when your blanket's freshness fades before the binge-watching begins... that's when you know, it's half-washed. next time, add downy fabric conditioner for freshness that lasts through next week's finale. downy and it's done. how do they make starburst taste so juicy? they use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] it's about to get juicy. whoo! i feel so aliii... it takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy.
[music playing] (ceo) the employee of the year, anna. (vo) progress is in the pursuit. audi will cover your first month's lease payment on select models during summer of audi sales event. ( ♪ ) pixar pier has arrived! prepare to be awed. prepare to be moved. prepare to make a mad dash... ( ♪ ) ...because with the incredicoaster, pixar pal-a-round, and a bunch of your favorite pixar characters, it's going to be pretty incredible. pixar pier is now open! only at disney california adventure park. >> stephen: my next guests were
>> stephen: hey, that's it for "the late show," everybody. tune in tomorrow when my guests will be will arnett, neve campbell, and marcus samuelson. goodnight! captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ♪ are you ready y'all to have some funthgloves tonight don't you worry 'bout ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late late show >> reggie: all the way from hampstead heath, give it up for your host: the one... the only... james corden!