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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  November 30, 2021 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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>> thanks for watching. the news continuing streaming on cbsnbay area. have a good night. we will see you tomorrow captioning sponsored by cbs >> a broadway actor is the latest member of the oath keepers charged for participating in the january 6 siege on the u.s. capitol. james beeks is charged with obstruction of congress and unlawfully entering capitol grounds. beeks played judas in a national tour of "jesus christ superstar." ( sung to "superstar" )
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>> announcer: it's "the late show with stephen colbert." tonight: new covid on the block. plus, stephen welcomes: peter dinklage. lee jung-jae. and a performance from the film "cyrano." featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert!
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♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you very much. ( applause ) i did that. you didn't know. ( applause ) >> audience: stephen! stephen! stephen! >> stephen: oh, yeah. welcome, welcome one and all to "the late show." i am your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) hey, do youemember this? a couple of months ago when joe biden promised a normal holiday season? well, like his hairline, that went away, because on friday, the world health organization designated a new variant of concern and gave it the not-at-all-sinister name: the omicron variant. ( thunder, glass breaking,
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cat scream ) ( laughter ) did not expect the cat. well, it sounds like the title of a robert ludlum novel. omicron is, in fact, the 15th letter in the greek alphabet. the w.h.o. chose to skip a few, because 'nu' is too easily confused with 'new,' and they claim 'xi,' was not used because it is a common last name, but we all know it's because it's the surname of chinese president xi jinping. and you can't piss off world leaders. they learned the hard way after being sued in the 1890s by belgian premier henri chlamydia. ( laughter ) it's not a flower. chlamydia is not a flower. the good news is-- ( applause ) ( cheering ) beautiful name. chlamydia. the good news is, according to south african doctors, where the variant was first identified,
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while omicron appears to be more transmissible, cases appeared to be very mild, mild. so we're grading the variants on a salsa scale now. in that case, i can't wait for the atomic ghost pepper, extra- chunky variant. paul newman does great work. and now for the bad news: omicron does appear to be evading vaccines. it's a scientific phenomenon known as aaron rodgers. ( laughter ) ( applause ) but-- hurt his toe. hurt his toe. yeah. but no one knows for sure, so both pfizer and moderna are testing how well their vaccines protect against omicron. unfortunately, they won't know the results for two weeks, at the earliest. evidently, the scientists are stuck in a container off the coast of china. ( laughter ) so they don't know, but in a recent interview, the c.e.o. of moderna said, "all the scientists i've talked to are like, 'this is not going to be good'".
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like, not comforting. science. reminds me of that famous sugar-free gum slogan: four out of five dentists agree: what's the point of chewing gum? death comes for us all. yesterday-- ( applause ) sure! death! yesterday? yesterday, president biden addressed the nation and did his best to keep everyone calm. >> this variant is a cause for concern, not a cause for panic. >> stephen: what? i'm sorry, i wasn't listening. i was ordering 700 rolls of toilet paper. out of concern, not panic. biden had a subtle gaffe in his address on the new omicron variant. see if you can spot it: >> it's called the omnicron. omnicron. omnicron. omnicron. >> stephen: no, not "omnicron." omnicron sounds like the evil corporation in a dystopian future that owns your childhood
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memories. so... disney? biden-- ( applause ) biden laid out his administration's plan to deal with the new variant. >> on thursday, i'll be putting forward a detailed strategy outlining how we're going to fight covid this winter, not with shutdowns or lockdowns, but with more widespread vaccinations, boosters, testing, and more. >> stephen: "and more"? can you be more specific than "and more"? is this the health of our nation or the weird kitchenware and food section of tj maxx? "don't panic, folks. we'll treat this with vaccinations, boosters, testing, a journal that says 'hope' on the front, a broken egg timer, and a bottle of what appears to be maple syrup that has no label on it." we're all lucky that south africa alerted us to the dangers of omicron. and thanks to them, the white
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house issued a ban on travel from eight countries in southern africa. well, that's good. you have to contain the virus. so far, it's only been found in the southern african countries of austria, belgium, canada, czech republic, denmark, france, germany, hong kong, israel, italy, japan, netherlands, portugal, spain, sweden, and the united kingdom. oh, my god! that's most of "it's a small world"! we have got to keep it from spreading. we have to-- ( applause ) we have got to keep it from spreading to "the hall of presidents." taft has, shall we say, comorbidities. thankfully, omicron is not here in america, right? can someone from three days ago ask dr. fauci? >> do you believe that omicron is already here in the u.s., likely? >> you know, i would not be surprised if it is. >> stephen: i would not normally say this about an 80-year-old man, but can we please surprise
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him? ( laughter ) oh, there's another highly transmissible strain being passed around the country: the qanon variant. i'll tell you the latest in the latest in tonight's edition of: "the q-files: ( music in the style of the x-files ) the truth is out there. way out there." turns out-- ( applause ) wooo! turns out, after years of failed prophecies, some folks are threatening to get off the q-train, including one qanon follower who just wrote an open letter to the ex-president complaining that the movement's predictions keep turning out to be false. "excuse me, i ordered my j.f.k. jr. resurrection a week ago, and it still hasn't arrived. i'd like to speak to this conspiracy's manager. yes, i can hold until a date determined by ancient numerology. i've got the mayan calendar in front of me.
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okay, 15th of the month of the serpent works. um, lemme see. i'm sorry, that's no good. that's quetzalcoatl's birthday." ( applause ) the letter was posted on a right-wing social media site, where the author expressed frustration that an anticipated event called "red october" failed to pass. red october, of course, is the prophesied day when the world's scottish actors suddenly start talking in a terrible russian accent. ( laughter ) actually, red october was just another way qanon plays the hits: it's the debunked claim that members of a global cabal of elite, cannibalistic pedophiles would be apprehended in mass arrests. but it didn't happen. and that's why kevin james is snacking on your child right now. ( laughter ) once october ended, the disappointments kept coming for our q-friend. as he wrote to the former president: "we were given hints by 'q' experts that november was to be the month.
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i told a few of my awake friends that either this would be the best thanksgiving ever, or the worst. guess which one it was?" ( laughter ) ( applause ) i'm guessing every thanksgiving you show up to is the worst one ever. ( laughter ) ( applause ) speaking-- ( applause ) sure. ♪ ♪ ♪ speaking of topics, we've got an announcement from celebrity doctor and date who's going to stare at you like that for the entire movie, dr. emmet oz. apparently, dr. oz will be running for senate in pennsylvania. turns out, running for senate is the one weird trick to reduce belly fat. now, this is dr. oz's first time running for office, so he's staying humble with his promises. as it says on his campaign website: "dr. oz is fundamentally promising to help re-light the divine spark inside every american." i'd settle for cheaper gas.
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but, sure, doc, check the pilot light on my divine spark, just like they taught you at med school. now, before this run, dr. oz had a lucrative career as a liar, peddling questionable health advice on tv, like saying coffee bean pills can help treat weight loss, raspberry ketone will burn fat, and astrological signs may reveal a great deal about our health. sure. who doesn't love it when their doctor says, "mr. johnson, you have cancer... as your star sign, which means an office friendship could turn to romance." ♪ ♪ ♪ ( applause ) it could. it could. >> jon: it might. >> stephen: any minute. but dr. oz may not just have fake medical claims. he may have fake pennsylvania claims, because he's running there despite living in new jersey for years. and there's a big difference between pennsylvania and new jersey-- something to do
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with hoagies. i don't know what it is, but they will murder you over it. we've got a great show for you tonight. ( applause ) my guests are peter dinklage and "squid game" star, lee jung-jae. but when we come back, "meanwhile." stick around. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( applause )
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so you can work that budget and get those savings. i love saying yes to more merry for less at ross. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> stephen: jon batiste and stay human, everybody. give it up. give it up. ( applause ) jon, jon, my friendo, my friendo, i'm very excited about our guests tonight. fantastic in an amazing movie, "cyrano," peter dinklage is here tonight. i really enjoy talking to him. doesn't do a lot of these shows. love having him on here. and from "squid game"? have you seen "squid game"?
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lee jung-jae is here. >> jon: yes. >> stephen: jon, did you know that i spoke korean? >> jon: oh, you do? >> stephen: no. ( laughter ) jon, you know what we didn't have a chance to talk about last night, but i loved your performance in the macy's thanksgiving day parade. did you guys check that out? >> jon: that was fun. i loved dancing out there singing. >> stephen: what was that like? >> jon: it felt like being in a-- it felt like being in the present but also going back in the time machine soseeing the county fairs, back in the day when they had county fairs. >> stephen: it's super old, an ancient form of entertainment, people marching down the streets singing. >> jon: it's amazing to see, the marching band and all their regalia, the floats. it was wholesome. i lved it so much. my dad rode the float with me. >> stephen: he did. that's great. >> jon: i loved it. >> stephen: check that off the list. >> jon: i remember going out there-- this is the early days
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and i didn't have a winter coat, and i stood at the macy's day parade, and it was, like, 14 degrees, and i left afte lik hiis beautiful, but i can't -- >> stephen: i won't survive. >> jon: yeah, i won't survive. that was a nice -- >> stephen: you've come a long way, baby. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: you have a nice coat now. you have a nice coat. ( applause ) >> stephen: you know, folks, if you watch the show, you know i spend a lot of my time right over there. carefully combing through the biggest stories of the day, sourcing for you the newsiest mikado organza in a high sheen, adding the most topical ivory feather fringe and a dipped back, then throwing on a demure but kicky floral embroidered tulle shrug with statement pearl accents to present to you the glorious "vogue" cover-ready wedding gown that is my monologue. but sometimes, while on a glue-huffing binge, i crash a
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stolen hearse into an abandoned children's hospital where i use my teeth to tear up some old curtains and stained carpeting, then steal a button off an old surgical apron, and stitch it all together with a needle made from a chicken bone to throw together the shrieking cat lady's sack dress of news that is my segment: "meanwhile." ( applause ) that-- that heals a nation right there. that's an anesthetic. meanwhile, canada just released 50 million pounds from their maple syrup reserve amid a global shortage. ( cheers and applause ) okay, canada, now you're just trying to reinforce stereotypes. what's next? justin trudeau jousting a moose on beaverback? it seems the problem was a shorter harvesting season up north this year, prompting the move from the quebec maple syrup producers, a government-sponsored cartel that
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controls some 70% of the world's maple syrup supply-- a clearly unfair chokehold that should be stopped by the world breakfast governing body but, as usual, the international house of pancakes is doing nothing. this is rooty tooty fresh and fraudulent. ( applause ) meanwhile, yesterday, barbados became the world's newest republic, because they ditched queen elizabeth as head of state. oh, no! plaiz oh, no, barbados. now who's going to serve no discernible purpose? and that's not all. on the same day, barbados also officially declared rihanna a national hero. ( cheers and applause ) and that allows rihanna to use the title of "right honorable" in front of her name. so now she's not just ri-ri, she's ri-ri-ri. ( laughter ) ( applause )
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meanwhile, across the pond in yorkshire, snow trapped 60 people in a pub with an oasis cover band for three days. ( laughter ) ( applause ) so it's true: hell can freeze over. ( laughter ) ( applause ) i gotta say, that-- ( applause ) that is shocking: 60 people wanted to see an oasis cover band. meanwhile, a priceless roman mosaic spent 50 years as a coffee table in a new york apartment. where museum experts say the mosaic once formed part of a floor on one of two vast party ships commissioned by caligula. not sure what's worse: being forced to return your antique coffee table or finding out that you've been eating off the floor of an ancient sex boat. ( laughter ) ( applause ) wait ---- i think i know which one is worse. i think i-- i think i know which
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one is worse. there you go. meanwhile, in china, a man has been banned from an all-you-can-eat barbecue for eating too much after he ate over three pounds of pork trotters during his first visit, and nearly nine pounds of prawns on another visit. sir, i don't know who you are, but there is a place for you in america. ( laughter ) ( applause ) if you can find your way here, you can apply for asylum at any golden corral. we'll be right back with peter dinklage. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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( applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back to "the late show." folks, ladies and gentlemen, you know my first guest from films such as, "the station agent"; "three billboards outside ebbing, missouri"; and his emmy award-winning performance as tyrion on "game of thrones." he now stars in "cyrano." >> first he has too much heart and then not m enough. >> you tell her. >> me? >> it's fascinating. you're both brilliant but exact opposites in style.
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christian is overt, passionate, fiery. >> whereas i? >> you are coded, witty. >> coded? >> his words aren't better than yours, just differently put. >> you know his letters by heart. >> everyone. >> stephen: please welcome back to "the late show," peter dinklage. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> stephen: good to see you again. >> good to see you. >> stephen: thanks for being here. nice to see you again. >> good to see you again. nice to be back. >> stephen: how was your
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thanksgiving? >> hmmm, i-- well, it was lovely, thank you. >> stephen: you're welcome. >> however, i made the choice to get my vaccine booster the day before thanksgiving, and lady moderna was not kind. >> stephen: no, no, she's a harsh mistress. >> she is. she's a dominatrix. >> stephen: she had you on a leash, did she? >> she's still right here in me. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that's just science. >> you don't know what our relationship is! >> stephen: that's just science. ( applause ) >> don't judge me and my moderna. >> stephen: now, you are in the new adaptation of the 1897 play by edmond rostand, "cyrano." >> oui. >> stephen: it's such a beautiful story, and i'm really excited for this movie. >> classic. >> stephen: classic. when did you first-- it seems like such a natural story, such a natural romantic story, that i
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can't believe it's only a little over 100 years old. >> yeah. >> stephen: i'm first when you first encountered it. >> i think it's one of those classic stories, it sort of is with you a long time, whether you read it or not, you're aware of it, and i think you're especially aware of the famous balcony scene. perhaps you confuse it with "romeo and juliette's" balcony seen, but the story of a man writing under a sued nom for another man, basically, in a modern sense, catfishing-- catfishing has gone around for a while. and then there have been great movie versions. i love the gerard depardue film because it's in french. everything sounds better in french. and steve martin did a comedic version-- >> yppl ) >> stephen: "roxanne." >> and now we have done one in
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which we sing. >> stephen: have you sung before? did you have a dad band or something like that? have you done any professional singing? >> no. >> stephen: how did you get-- how did-- what gave you the courage? because i've-- i'm not a singer. i like to sing. >> i'm not either. >> stephen: but i have been asked to do-- a little singing professionally, and it always is the most nerve-racking thing i can do having a camera pointed at me, because however you sing in that moment, that's it. >> that's it. you go flat, go flat. everybody knows it. it's terribly nerve-racking but you're surrounded by great singers and great musicians and they make you feel better. i like a mix of voices. it doesn't have to be perfect. the greatest singers aren't necessarily opera singers. they just have soul. i don't have any soul. i'm not saying that. >> stephen: i disagree. you bring your soul to the performance. >> right yut of but, you know, you sing from want heart, nina simone and bob dylan and all the
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people who wouldn't quantify them as operatic singers, but they're soulful singers. >> stephen: we have to take a quick break. stick around. we'll be right back with more peter dinklage, everybody. ( applause ). ♪ ♪ ♪
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( applause ). >> stephen: hey, everybody, we're back with the star of "cyrano," peter dinklage. now, your wife, erica schmidt,
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actually wrote the screenplay and brought this first version of a stage play. >> yeah. >> stephen: to you. >> did it as a theater piece before here in new york. >> stephen: here's the thing. what i'm wondering is, in a way, every actor is christian de nove let. the face for cyrano's words. >> it's what i do for a living. >> stephen: exactly. but is your wife in this case cyrano? because she is the one putting the beautiful words in your mouth. is that what a write is to an actor? is your wife your cyrano? >> yes, why do you think i married her? no-- ( applause ) no, that's a really-- that's a really interesting question. yeah. i think so. i think that's what actors do.
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we sound a lot smarter because of our writers. and, yeah. >> stephen: but there's-- there is a talent to being the vehicle. it's not-- you're not just a face. >> right. >> stephen: for cyrano. >> right. >> stephen: your interpretation makes you the-- the proper vehicle for those words worry. how do you as an actor-- >> like a politician, kind of. >> stephen: right, exactly, a politician has to believe the things that are written for him because they also are an expression of his beliefs. how do you as an actor know whether the part is something you can actually be the proper vehicle for? is it merely intuitive? >> sometimes you-- you think, and then halfway through you realize, oh, no. this perhaps was the wrong decision i made. that happens sometimes. no, with this, though, i enjoy playing intelligent people. it's more fun, you know, to take people on that intelligent ride,
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like tyrion on "game of thrones" did that as with the ( applause ). >> stephen: there are certain similarities between the two characters. they're both extremely intelligent. they surprise people with capabilities they don't necessarily think they have at first. do you miss playing tyrion, by the way? >> yeah. i mean, time to move on, but sure. you have to graduate. but, yeah, it was a great part. yeah. he-- he didn't have the tragic ending of cyrano. he didn't fear or hide behind any other man to get the lady. so there's a difference there. >> stephen: yes, he has the ladies all averaged. ( laughter ) shall we say. sometimes through commerce. >> sure, sure. >> stephen: yes. you filmed this in sicily, right? >> yeah. >> stephen: during covid. >> during covid, yeah. >> stephen: not a bad place to be locked down. >> no, sicily was incredible. and they got hit, sadly, by the
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pandemic, quite early, much earlier than the u.s. did, so they sort of had had experience with it. and they were-- they were very accommodating. >> stephen: were you there with your wife and kids? >> yeah, my son still wakes up in the night going grenita. it's an italian dessert. >> stephen: and they miss it? >> they do. we brought home a reminder, though. these are all these abandoned, stray, homeless dogs everywhere that sort of-- it's not a big deal over there. they just-- it takes a village. they take care of them. but there are puppies everywhere, so we brought home a puppy. >> audience: oooh! ( applause ) you're not going to not bring home a puppy. >> stephen: that's right, what's the puppy's name? >> roxy, after roxanne. i know. but she's not roxanne, she's roxy because she eats rocks.
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she does. >> stephen: really? >> yeah, she eats anything. >> stephen: you are going to be performing one of the songs tonight. >> uh-hum. you're going to be hearing a song "your name." they wrote the music from want movie,. it's incredible. because cyrano, he pontificates quite a lot in the original stage show. and erica and the band had the brilliant idea of sort of making all of the poetry into songs. and who doesn't want to hear a love song? so? >> stephen: well, we do. thank you for being here. we look forward to it. >> stephen: "cyrano" will be in theaters this january. stick around for a performance from peter dinklage with bryce and aaron dessner of the national. we'll be right back with "squid game" star, lee jung-jae.
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and complete required activities. wealth management is planning your path together. and, it's guiding you along the way. start a relationship with citi and earn a cash bonus when you open a new eligible account and complete required activities. ( applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back.
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my next guest is an actor you know as player 456 from the netflix show, "squid game."
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>> stephen: please welcome to "the late show," lee jung-jae ♪ ♪ ♪ ( applause ) >> stephen: thank you for being here. >> thank you for having me and my translator, haley. >> stephen: yes. ( cheers and applause ). thank you. thank you. >> stephen: "squid game" is an extraordinary global success, number one on netflix in 90 countries. did you have any idea when you started this what was going to happen?
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>> well, when i first read the script, it wasn't to that extent. but, actually, on my first day of the shoot, i felt like something good might happen. but i definitely didn't expect it to be this big of a success, and i certainly did not expect to be here today with you. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: in the show, in the show you play a lot of children's games-- red light, green light. tug-of-war. marbles. were you good at these games growing up? >> yes, of course. ( laughter ) >> stephen: did you have a favorite? >> especially marble game. >> stephen: no drops, no bombs, no takebacks, no fudgyie. i'll challenge you to marbles one day. >> i hope so.
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>> stephen: people often talk about, you know, the-- spoiler alert-- there are some disturbing aspects of the show. and people talk about the violence at times. i don't find that upsetting because it's cartoonish, in some ways. what's really disturbing is the indignities that your character and the other characters suffer because of their debt and their poverty. what do you-- what do you think of people's reaction to the show? some people are disturbed by it. do you think it's for the right reasons? is>> i think that's actually a great point. i think a lot of the people who really related to "squid game" and really loved it, they also experienced some kind of hurt because of economic troubles or some violence that they experienced from someone else. and i think the reason they were
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abl to relate to the story was the key for the success of the show. and so when we look at the violence, the level of violence that's depicted in the show, it really, it contains a message of wanting to retrieve back the humanity that we lost in this extremely competitive society. and so i feel that it, rather compared to the very real and extreme violent society that we live in, it's not as cruel. >> stephen: now, you've been a household name in south korea for decades, very famous over there. but most americans got to know you through this show. how does it feel now, wherever you go, people-- including celebrities like leonardo dicaprio-- are wanting to take selfies with you? >> i couldn't believe it, really. and he told me that he actually did watch "squid game." he enjoyed it very much.
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and he told me that, you know, you're so lucky to be in it and you did an amazing job, so it was unbelievable. >> stephen: is it true-- ( applause ) that's great. is it true that this photo was taken with his phone? and that he sent it to you? >> it's true, it's true. >> stephen: so that means-- ( applause ) -- wait a second. so that means you have his phone number. ( laughter ). >> oh, no, no. >> stephen: no? >> no, that's not true. we have a mutual friend. >> stephen: oh. damn! i wanted to take a photo of this and send it to him. what a thrill that would be for leonardo dicaprio to have a photo of me. ( cheers and applause )
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send him the video. now, one of the games you play in the show involves-- and i'm sure i'm not involving this correctly-- dalgona, a korean honeycombed toffee, the game we were about to see in the clip. it's having to take this honeycomb out of a little tray without breaking it. we have it right here.h! ( laughter ). >> stephen: and i was wondering if you could show me how to do this. maybe you should open that and i'll open this. >> oh! so easy. ♪ ♪ ♪ triangle. >> stephen: oh, triangle? do you have a pin? where is your pin? so what-- what is the goal of the game? ♪ ♪ ♪ >> so the thing is you have to leave the shape, and he shape
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only. and then you have to take the rest off of it. >> stephen: oh, so you have to break everything off. >> yes. >> stephen: and leave it-- >> without -- >> stephen: damn, i picked the wrong one. ( laughter ) ( applause ) all right, let's do it. let's do it. so you don't use a pin? >> i have an easy one here. so i'm not going to use the pin. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> wow. oh! ( applause ) >> stephen: "squid game" is streaming now on netflix. lee jung-jae, everybody. we'll be right back with a performance from the film, "cyrano," with peter dinklage and aaron and bryce dessner. stick around. thank you. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( applause )
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♪ please don't take my sunshine away ♪ you may pay as little as $10 per prescription. ask your healthcare provider about rybelsus® today. name" from the film, "cyrano," peter dinklage with aaron and bryce dessner ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ every morning at the break of light
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♪ i see you standing in the sun you look at me ♪ with the kindest eyes every morning i'm overcome ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ infatuation and desperate desire ♪ madness, enchantment, and shame ♪ sorrow and glory, and blinding euphoria ♪ everything's there in your name ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ in darkness when i close my eyes ♪ i see your hair come undone i lose myself every time
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♪ even now, i'm overcome ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ roxanne, what am i ♪ supposed to say? words are only glass on a string ♪ the more i arrange them and line up and change them ♪ the more they mean the same thing ♪ roxanne roxanne ♪ roxanne ♪ ♪ ♪
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: peter dinklage with aaron and bryce dessner, everybody. that's it for "the late show." tune in tomorrow when my guest will be javier bardem. james corden is next. good night. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ the late late show-oh-oh the late late show woo! ♪ the late late show-oh-ho the late late show-oh-oh! ♪ it's the late late show


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