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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  December 30, 2021 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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tonight. >> the news continues streaming on cbsnbay area. we will see you tomorrow. have a good night captioning sponsored by cbs >> in el salvador, the country is planning to build what they're calling a bitcoin city. the plan was announced by the president, who says the bitcoin city will be right by the ocean at the base of a volcano that will be used for energy as power. >> do you talkbou cryptocurrency every hour of every day? are you passionate about explaining the blockchain to people that don't want to hear it? then you will love bitcoin city! a new crypto paradise, and definitely not a global conspiracy to gather all of the world's most annoying people at the base of an active volcano! ( laughter and applause ) you will live in bitcoin buildings! you will drive bitcoin cars! and you won't be covered in a fiery blanket of molten lava!
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don't worry! so ignore the haters who say cryptocurrency is a fad, or living at the base of a volcano is stupid! who are you going to trust? a volcanologist or a president who's cool enough to wear a backwards hat? and the financial charts have never been more promising! oops! ( music stops abruptly ) that's a seismograph. ♪ ♪ ♪ the charts have never been more promising! the crypto market is about to erupt, and we want you to be in bitcoin city when it explodes! ( explosion ) ♪ ♪ ♪ and coming soon to norway, dogecoin mountain! ( panicked screaming ) ( cheers and applause ) >> announcer: it's the "late show" with stephen colbert! tonight, hit me with your boots on. tonight, stephen welcomes andrew garfield and chef josé andrés, featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now live on tape from the ed
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sullivan theater in new york city, stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey! i have been thinking about you! nice to meet you! hello, jon. ( cheers and applause ) hey! please! everybody! please have a seat! ( cheers and applause ) ladies and gentlemen, please. thank you for joining us. ( piano riff ) so nice. welcome one and all to the "late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. and it is the monday before thanksgiving. >> steen: ingot three more daysp with what you're thankful for.
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if you're really stuck, just say keanu reeves. ( laughter ) everybody likes him. personally, i'm grateful that on friday, history was made. because joe biden temporarily transferred power to vice president kamala harris while undergoing a routine colonoscopy-- ( cheers and applause ) making harris the first woman to assume presidential power. yes, 100 years after women got the right to vote, we finally got the first female president... on a technicality. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) turns out, and i did not know this-- this shocking to me, i did not know this jon. it turns out this whole time the glass ceiling up joe biden's butt. >> jon: oh! >> stephen: did not know. ( whistles ) had no idea. ( laughter ) harris had presidential powers for 85 minutes. not very long. but still, the job is so stressful. here's what she looked like before-- and after. ( laughter ) there you go.
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this temporary handover is not unprecedented, but it's a situation was handled by former president, sulk hogan. ( laughter ) see back in 2019, th underwent a colonoscopy but he did not want to hand power to then-vice president mike pence, so he refused to go under anesthesia. gives a whole new meaning to his motto: ma ...gaaah! ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) ( whistles ) there you go. biden's colonoscopy was part of his annual physical, where his doctors found that he's healthy and remains fit to successfully execute the duties of the presidency. that's great. i'm glad he's healthy, of course. but i was sort of hoping they'd find that he has that benjamin button disease, he's actually getting younger every day. >> jon: uh-huh. >> stephen: it wasn't just a physical exam. biden's doctors also checked the
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old noodle shop, and confirmed that he's still a full bag of ramen, showing no findings consistent with any cerebellar or other central neurological disorder. ( as biden ) i can pass any brain test you throw at me, jack. you want me to remember the five words you told me? easy-peasy. here we go: person, woman, jack, malarkey, come on. ( laughter ) but the man is 79, and it shows. i'm serious. i love words. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: get it, joe! get it! >> stephen: i got them. i love words. the only thing i got more in my mouth is teeth. but the man is 79, and it shows because biden's physical did find that he is suffering from a perceptibly stiffer and less fluid gait. or as fox news calls it: gait- gate. ( laughter ) the president is also apparently experiencing a more frequent need to clear his throat or cough. but look, as you get older, you make more weird noises. happens to everybody, happens to me. it's why my audio guy has to
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mute me every time i sit down or stand up. ( laughter ) just listen to my isolated mic from last week: please welcome back to the late show, adam driver. ( old man sounds ) haaaaah, ahhh, ohhhhgggg! here we go. ( coughs ) with the knees. ( laughter ) after his physical-- ( laughter ) that joke's based on a true story. ( laughter ) after his physical, biden headed to the annual turkey pardoning ceremony. to promote the event, the white house released this video of the condemned: ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( audience awws ) >> stephen: that's nice, but why did they put '70s porn music over that? ( laughter and applause ) ( scat singing '70s porn music ) ♪ making gravy ♪ ( laughter ) i guess the video's n.s.f.w. naked sexy fowl whoopie! at the ceremony itself, biden enjoyed their names:
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>> two names i couldn't agree on more. who better help celebrate the holiday in which we break the bread for two turkeys named peanut butter and jelly. >> stephen: hmm, what better way to celebrate the holiday than with peanut butter and jelly? except maybe anything associated with thanksgiving? drumstick and cranberry? mashed potatoes and stuffing? aunt rita and casual racism? ( applause ) also on friday, the f.d.a. and c.d.c. made it official and announced that all american adults are now eligible for coronavirus vaccine boosters. ( cheers and applause ) yes, everyone! come on! tak-tak-- ( mouth pop ) >> jon: get the third stick. ( piano riff ) >> stephen: everyone's getting their third shot and counting. by the end of this pandemic we're all going look like this. ( laughter ) the picture of health. the move was made in part
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because rates of people getting boosted were slowed by months of confusion over complicated guidelines. i actually don't think they were that complicated. boosters were available for people over the age of 65, those with underlying medical conditions and those at high risk of exposure as long as they got it in the right arm from the hours of midnight to 6:00 a.m., tuesdays and thursday, only at participating wendy's while supplies last. void where prohibited. not! now, now that the booster has finally been okayed, you might want to get one. cnn's dr. jonathan reiner explains: >> i think you need to assess your own vulnerability. you-- if you are not boosted, you are not fully vaccinated. >> stephen: what? why didn't anyone tell us earlier. it's like finding a label on a bullet-proof vest: warning: won't stop bullets. buy two more! ( laughter and applause ) then, it's not right. >> jon: it's not right! >> stephen: it doesn't make
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sense. >> jon: it should work. >> stephen: but the-- >> jon: nobody told us! >> stephen: then, dr. reiner warned holiday travelers to leave their masks on at all times: >> and if you're not fully vaccinated, you need a really good mask. when you're on an airplane, i would skip the small glass of soda. >> stephen: okay, i'll skip the small glass of soda and go right to the tiny bottle of bourbon. ( laughter ) of course, the big news on friday was that, after being accused of crossing state lines, killing two people, and wounding another last year during a black lives matter protest-- kyle rittenhouse was acquitted on all counts. ( audience booing ) okay, cards on the table, i'm not a legal expert, so i can't tell you whether or not kyle rittenhouse broke the law. but i can tell you this: if he didn't break the law, we should change the law. ( cheers and applause ) that seems simple. that seems simple.
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if emily post said it was perfectly proper to go to thanksgiving, drop trou and leave your ass print in the pumpkin pie, i'd be like, okay, not illegal, but the system is clearly broken. so, rittenhouse was found "not guilty," but only a complete moron would celebrate this tragedy by making this guy a hero. enter, florida congressman and man demanding to know why he's being kicked out of the sweet sixteen party, matt gaetz. after the verdict, gaetz tweeted "not guilty!" of course, gaetz has a vested interest in juries finding people not guilty, especially when it involves a 17-year-old crossing state lines. in other news-- ( cheers and applause ) true story. in other news, babies. they're like people, but happy. ( laughter ) the u.s. birthrate has now
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declined for the sixth straight year, which means we may not have enough population growth to keep the future economy afloat. specifically, the daytime talk show economy. ( as talk show host ) you are... not the father! because you opted to use your thirties to pursue a second masters. hey, good for you. ( laughter and applause ) the anti-baby trend looks to continue, because a record number of adults who don't have children say they're not going to have them, according to a survey, which asked: thinking about the future, how likely is it that you will have children someday? that survey, conducted by the "new england journal of mothers- in-law." ( laughter ) it's a follow-up on their landmark study: who's going to drive me to the airport? ( laughter ) >> jon: ♪ mother-in-law ♪ >> stephen: when asked why they're unlikely to have kids, 56% said it's because they just don't want them. for some reason, these people prefer sleeping, drinking, sex, extra income, nice furniture, weekend plans and having more than 30 seconds to poop.
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( cheers and applause ) not surprisingly-- ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: ♪ mother-in-law mother-in-law ♪ >> stephen: that, that is all the parents clapping because they know that joke is true. unsurprisingly, a lot of folks also felt it would be too difficult to raise kids because of medical issues, economic or financial reasons and the spiraling costs of child care, health care and education. and most compelling of all, how hard it is to get their little shoes on. ( as dad ) we're already late, why are there suddenly no bones in your body? forget it! i'll put them on in the car and i'll drive with my feet! ( cheers and applause ) we've got a great show for you tonight, my guests are andrew garfield and chef josé andrés. but when we return, just what is an n.f.t.? watch my segment about it and i promise, you may still probably won't know. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing )
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>> stephen: jon batiste and stay human, everybody! give it up for the band! ( cheers and applause ) welcome back, everybody! jon, tonight we've got two of my favorite guests. we have the lovely and talented andrew garfield is going to be here tonight. >> jon: yes, indeed. >> stephen: incredibly gift actor-- >> jon: his family, his family is here. >> stephen: really lovely and, and this guy just makes me feel good, he's funny, talented, he's a very good man, josé andrés from world central kitchen is here tonight. ( cheers ) >> jon: he gives back. incredible. >> stephen: do you know what we're cooking? do you know what we're cooking? you don't know what we're cooking? are you going to cook enough for everybody? yeah, we'll cook enough for everybody. >> jon: oh, yeah! everybody gets some. >> stephen: everybody gets some tonight. >> jon: that's nice. >> stephen: is that true? that's not true. all right. ( laughter ) anyway, it's going to be good. folks, as you know, i love to
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stay on top of all the new hottest internet trends. i was climbing into random strangers cars before uber was even a thing. ( laughter ) for a couple years now, i've been curious about this. one of the hot financial trends on the internet is n.f.t's, or non-fungible tokens. confused as to what they are? that might be because everyone who tries to define them does a terrible job. for instance, according to one place on the internet, an n.f.t. is a digital good that lives on the ethereum blockchain. because nothing clears things up faster like mentioning the ethereum blockchain. i think you get there through the narnia blood gate. so, here's my try at explaining it: you know how in the real world you like a work of art, you can buy it and it's yours? an n.f.t. is the way to do with something digital. you see something you like online but rather than buy it physically, you go to an online marketplace and buy the digital original from the owner.
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it's stamped with a unique digital code and the object or token is stored on something called a blockchain, a secure, permanent, decentralized ledger that keeps track of who owns what and where transactions can be added but data can never be erased. you can do this with pictures, songs, videos, anything with a digital footprint can technically be sold as an n.f.t. whew! is this what it feels like to be john oliver? ( laughter ) blimey. now i get why he only does one show a week. now, there's real money being spent on this fake stuff. some notable n.f.t. sales include gucci ghost, which sold for a cool $3,600. the famous disaster girl photo for $500,000, and early internet meme nyan cat, almost $600,000.
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nyan cat is, of course, a meme of a cat with a pop-tart body, prancing through space, with rainbows flying out its butt. which makes slightly more sense to me than the concept of n.f.t's. maybe the strangest example of an n.f.t. is rapper azealia banks releasing an n.f.t. sex tape. ok, i thought these things were non-fungible. a sex tape is two people fung- ing each other. to be clear, azealia's n.f.t. is strictly an audio sex-tape, named "i ( bleep ) ryder ripps." hey, spoiler alert azealia-- you can't give away all the details in the title. orson welles didn't name his classic movie "rosebud is the sled and i ( bleep )ed it." ( laughter and applause ) so, i'm still not quite sold on n.f.t's. but, if you liked my explanation of what n.f.t's were that we showed a while ago, i have great news.
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i have written out that explanation all out on the delivery bag that my lunch came in today. and i have signed it and i'm selling my handwritten explanation of n.f.t's as the world's first a.f.t., or, "actual ( bleep ) thing." ( cheers and applause ) schwarma? salmon? salmon, mmm. you can bid on my a.f.t. at all proceeds will go to donors choose. you'll help fund classrooms where kids can learn important stuff-- ( applause ) they can learn important stuff like the difference between things that exist and things that don't. we'll be right back with andrew garfield. ( band playing ) ( applause )
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( band playing ) ( applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back. ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is a tony winning from stage and screen, please welcome back to the "late show," andrew garfield! ( band playing ) ( appla
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thank you very much. >> thank you, thank you. >> stephen: nice to see you again. >> so nice to see you, always. i know it hasn't been long, but i'm so excited to be back, along with you, jon, and everyone here. it's lovely. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i like the suit, sort of a rust velvet. >> that's exactly what it is. >> stephen: is it really? yeah. >> stephen: may i? yes. >> stephen: that's lovely. you're stroking your own finger. >> stephen: was i? ( laughter ) this is a joke, man, we're doing comedy. it's a joke. it's a fabric joke. >> it's a very good-- just in case the camera didn't get it, i wanted to make people sure that people knew you were rubbing your own skin. >> stephen: we'll get a close-up later.
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over the years-- ( laughter ) that's an uncle joke. >> i've never experienced fabric humor before, that's my first time. >> stephen: oh, you learn something new every day. >> just grateful. >> stephen: over the years, my friend. >> yes. >> stephen: you've acted with so many greats-- >> yeah. >> stephen: meryl streep, sally field. your liam neeson's, your tom cruise's, but i understand your first co-star was your brother. >> my brother, benjamin garfield, who is here right now in the audience. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: benjamin. benjamin. where is he? >> benjamin! >> stephen: where are you, benjamin? >> yeah! >> stephen: yes! ( cheers and applause ) did we get a shot of benjamin just now? what is the age difference between you and your brother? >> he is three years older than me. ( laughter ) why are we leaving so many
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pauses around-- >> stephen: no pauses. you look-- great. ( laughter ) i'm just saying-- i'm just saying, three rough years, is what i'm saying. ( laughter ) three! i'm but-- wait, wait, wait! let's look at this mop! and you look fantastic but i would not have picked you out to have the crowd! this seems like a dominant genetic factor in the family! >> that's my dad. >> stephen: that's father right there. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) >> wait, wait, i have to qualify this. i have to qualify this. i got my mother's genes. my brother got my father's. >> stephen: you do not have to qualify that. >> wait, wait-- >> stephen: you don't have to explain that part. >> there's another thing, my brother is a doctor, and i'm merely an actor, so there's a good reason for him to have lost
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all his hair. he's a pulmonary doctor, a lung doctor. >> stephen: okay. >> so for the last two years, this mother hubbard has been saving people's lives. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) ( applause ) i love you! he's the kind of guy that will stay three hours late much to his own detriment. he's the guy that you want making sure that your lungs are operable and you're breathing. so i love you. this wasn't planned, by the way. we didn't just trick you here to call out your baldness and your doctor-y-ness. >> stephen: that's just gravy. ( laughter ) what was the first movie? >> okay, the first movie was a boxing movie. my father was an aspiring vhs camcorder filmmaker. >> stephen: oh. >> ( laughs ) yeah, and he roped us into
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beating the ( bleep ) out of each other, basically. >> stephen: wait, wait-- how old were you? >> i was three and my brother was six. >> stephen: he had a six-year- old beat up a toddler? >> yeah, that's what it was. i got the mic, dad, like, you don't get to decide. he's like this-- no, no, no, no. like, i remember. >> stephen: yeah, did it sell well? >> we got an audience of one who was my mother who loved it. but, also, like, my dad he is a brilliant, creative person. and he, would like-- there was no cuts, obviously. it was all live. he would make up his own commercials for, like, mops and laundry companies. he was, like, obsessed with american-- my father was from here when we were in the u.k. but anyways, my brother's moniker as a boxer, as a six-year-old boxer was "the big baby king." >> stephen: and you were. >> i was just the three-year-old who got the ( bleep ) kicked out of him. ( laughter )
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no, no, there was no bloodshed. and he had a song and it went something along the lines of-- this makes no sense, it's a very inside joke-- big baby king, old fat and wing, inside the boxing ring, not the wrestling ring. is that correct? i nailed it. okay, good. ( laughter ) >> stephen: sounds like time for a rematch. >> a rematch? >> stephen: could you take him now still? >> i mean, it's, like, look at him. he's so mean looking. >> stephen: we have to take a quick break, but don't go anywhere. we'll be back with more andrew garfield, everybody. ( band playing ) ( applause ) this holiday season, give your family the gift that keeps on... going? our very own energizer bunny! energizer ultimate lithium. [snowball splat and windshield wiper] the #1 longest-lasting aa battery. do you struggle with occasional nerve aches [snowball splat and windshield wiper] in your hands or feet? try nervivenerve relief from the world's #1 selling nerve care company.
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( band playing ) ( applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! we're back with the star of the new movie "tick, tick... boom!," andrew garfield. the last time you were here you were talking about how you'd been cast in the new film "tick, tick... boom!," directed by lin-manuel miranda, and you have to sing in it, it's a musical. but you're not a singer-- >> no. >> stephen: and you were unprepared but just a friend of yours had told lin-- oh, he has the voice of an angel. >> yeah, he lied. >> stephen: and so cast you, then you got cast and had to go do it. >> yeah. >> stephen: so, what was that like to finally like to open your mouth and sing these songs in from of lin for the first time or was it just like at a read-through? >> lin's amazing because he's
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the kind of person that can see you better than you can see yourself. so he'd seen me onstage in "angels in america" and he'd said to me, i think you can sing. and i was like, i think you might be wrong. he was like, no, trust me, whoever gave you an idea you couldn't do things, i need to have a stern word with them. he was that kind of avuncular, kind of, caring mentor figure. and he gave me some time with liz caplan, who i know you have a-- >> stephen: a dear friend. >> an amazing singing coach and she gave me the confidence to start doing it. i was a month or so into my preparation and i was singing with another person, kurt crowley at the piano, working on the first number in the film in private, because i was, like, no one come in because this is me naked in here vocally. not literally, i wasn't singing naked. but-- you have been. but it would have maybe helped. >> stephen: it's theater. >> it's the theater community, baby-- >> stephen: sure. >> you know how we do it. and then lin had snuck in, in the back of the room. ( stephen laughs )
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the bastard. and the first thing i knew was that he was there was his shoe flew across my face while it was in the middle of the first phrase of this song, and i looked around and it was him looking at my angrily, happily, and said, andrew garfield, you can sing! i don't have to recast you! ( laughter ) and he was so relieved, and it was the shoe of bliss, the shoe of bliss. and that was that, we were kind of off to the races from there. >> stephen: well, and, these songs are not easy that you do in this. you have one song where you have to quickly sing the names of 14 roommates that the characters had? >> yes, so, jon larson, he was living in the east village. and, you know, it was an artist's apartment and he had, like, this kind of carousel-- >> stephen: ...wrote "rent"-- >> wrote "rent" and he had this carousel of roommates that would come through and it was just like 14 people in just four years.
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like, you know, you know how it is when you're a kid trying to make it in the big city. so, yeah, he lists the name of as many roommates as he can remember in the moment. >> stephen: can you still remember, can you still do it? >> oh, come on. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i mean, that's a no, i guess. ( cheering ) >> stephen: i'm just saying, i'm just saying i bet your brother could do it. >> oooh-aaaa! that's-- the big baby king would nail this, i know, and dad's watching. >> stephen: what do you need to do? >> okay, i just need to breathe and i need everyone to do this and follow my lead. ( clapping ) ( audience claps in time ) ♪ ann and max and jonathan and jonathan and kerri ♪ david, tim, no tim was just a guest ♪ from june to january margaret, lisa, david, susie ♪ stephen, joe, and sam and elsa, the bill ♪ collector's dream who is still on the lam ♪ don't forget the neighbors, michelle and gay ♪ more like a family than the family, hey ♪ this is the life bobo bobo
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bobo ♪ this is the life bobo bobo bobo ♪ this is the life bobo bobo bobo, bo-- bohemia! ♪ ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: larson himself, you know, while his musicals are beloved, didn't live, unfortunately, to see the success. and i know that, you know, his-- the film was dedicated to his memory. i know that you yourself have suffered great grief just recently with the loss of your mother and i'm sorry for your family's loss. >> thank you. >> stephen: and i'm wondering how doing this show or any show, how art itself helps you deal with grief. >> yeah, mmm-- i love talking about it, by the way, so if i cry, it's only like-- it's only
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a beautiful thing. ths all thpresse love, right, the griha remain with us, you know, until we pass because we didn't-- we never get enough time with each other, right? no matter if someone lives till 60, 15 or 99. so, i hope this grief stays with me because it's the unexpressed love that i didn't get to tell her. we all told her every day, she was the best of us. so, for me, you know, i was able to step into this in a way where i could honor this incredible life of jonathan larson. and he was taken far too soon, he died at the age 35 on the night of the first preview of "rent" off broadway in the new york theater workshop, some strange twist of fate he was taken that soon. the film is to do with that, with this ticking clock that we all have that we all know somewhere deep down that life is
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sacred, life is short, and we better be here as much as possible with each other holding on to each other. and for me, i got to sing jonathan larson's unfinished song while simultaneously-- singing for my mother and her unfinished song, and i'm indebted to john, and i'm indebted to lin-manuel miranda. i'm indebted to everyone who's brought me to this place so i can honor the most beautiful person that i've ever experienced in my life through my art and use it as a way to heal. use it as a way to sew up the wounds because that's what we do, right? that's what you do every night, you sew up our wounds. you sew up our wounds. ( cheers and applause ) and both john and my mother were artists and they were warriors for art, they knew the power of art and they knew the power of
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leaving the world in a slightly more beautiful state than when they found it. so thank you for letting me talk about her and thank you for letting me talk about her with my two guys up there as well. so thank you, stehen. >> stephen: thank you for sharing. ( cheers and applause ) >> thanks, buddy. >> stephen: "tick, tick... boom!" is available in theaters and on netflix. andrew garfield, everybody. we'll be right back with chef josé andrés! ( band playing ) ( applause ) nyquil severe gives you powerful relief for your worst cold and flu symptoms, on sunday night and every night. nyquil severe. the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, best sleep with a cold, medicine.
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[music throughout] this year has been extremely challenging for me. i am broken. and i am healing. i'm here at the memorial wall. i wanted to do something to remember my mom. for some reason, i'm having anxiety. obviously it's normal with everything that's going on right now. i think i'm going to take a break for a while. you can get through it. and if you can get through it, there's a greater reward on the other side. just like anybody else, you know, i'm just trying to do my little part to try and save my community. ta-da! i'm just really excited we're back open. and i am smiling under my mask!
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incredible scenes on the day the fans came back. welcome back to the theater! you guys, it's been so long! you're looking at yourself in the mirror, and you're just like, “there. i. am.” be your best. never, ever, ever stop dreaming. i don't care what they tell you. ...we the jury in the above entitled manner as to count three find the defendant guilty. i am proud to be asian. we are not drowning, we are fighting. we cannot keep quiet about climate injustice. no action is too small. we just have to band together as a community, and get people's lives back. my son. that even as we grieved, we grew. that even as we hurt, we hoped. that even as we tired, we tried. that we'll forever be tied together, victorious.
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we do it every night. every night. i live alone, but i still do it every night. right after dinner. definitely after meatloaf. like clockwork. do it! run your dishwasher with cascade platinum and save water. did you know an energy star certified dishwasher uses less than four gallons per cycle? while a running sink uses that, every two minutes. that means even small loads can save water. so why not do it? run your dishwasher every night with cascade platinum. the surprising way to save water.
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( band playing ) ( applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! welcome back to the "late show," as professional as ever. ( cheers and applause ) my next guest-- ( piano riff ) my next guest is a chef and humanitarian whose charity, world central kitchen, has provided disaster relief to millions all over the world. please welcome, back to the "late show," my friend and yours, chef josé andrés ( cheers and applause ) chef-- josé, okay. thanksgiving is coming up. what have you got for us? what celebration are you going to help us have tonight? >> okay, thanksgiving, we're
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going to bring a tradition outside tradition. >> stephen: a tradition outside of tradition? >> yeah, because this is america. that's where you let people like me come in to bring new traditions to mix with old traditions-- we the people! >> stephen: sure, absolutely beautiful! ( cheers and applause ) so what are we doing? >> so-- >> stephen: okay. >> i just came back from the south of spain. >> stephen: okay. >> andulasia. >> stephen: andulasia, okay. >> i'm so happy finally you understand my english. i mean-- no, no, don't laugh. it's true, you still do not understand one word. >> stephen: not everyone understands my english, so-- >> yeah. >> stephen: so what is this? are we roasting marshmallows? what is this? >> this is a venenciador. >> stephen: okay, one more time? >> okay, i'm not going to spell it for you, okay? >> stephen: okay. >> ...when i was 15. venenciador-- and this is a sherry cask and there is sherry inside. >> stephen: mm-hhm. >> yup. >> stephen: mmm, lovely. is this the same thing as that right there? >> well, yeah. this is the bottle and this is
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one of the typical, traditional dresses-- take a look-- ( laughter ) --in the south of spain. >> stephen: i'm not comfortable when the drink i'm about to have is better dressed than i am. >> well, you're doing okay. this is the way they used to do in jerez de la frontera with sherry-- >> stephen: okay. >> and they will go in with the venenciador... is the name of this tool. and you remember last year-- >> stephen: what? >> that you took me to the roof. >> stephen: yes-- >> in the middle of the cold night. >> stephen: we actually have a picture of that, of you and me cooking on the roof because we couldn't be indoors with each other during the covid. >> yeah! because there was a-- and you put me under 105 degrees-- >> stephen: shh-shh. >> and we were from high above the sky-- >> stephen: you're making a mess! >> no, this is the way it's done! >> stephen: what is the benefit of this? >> take a look at this! this is the way you don't get drunk! and you have to put it inside! ( cheers and applause ) oh! you see?
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>> stephen: there you go. ( glasses clink ) >> this is the way! >> stephen: hey, can we see? i got a little bit more than you did! come here, a close-up of that? i won! >> i am following what the producers tell me, let him look better than you, josé. ( laughter and applause ) come, come over here! this is my hat, stephen! >> stephen: i understand. so, what do we do? this is not a turkey! this is thanksgiving. what is this? >> this is an american red snapper. if it's an american red snapper, it's almost like an american turkey! i mean, come on, people! >> stephen: it's called the sea turkey. >> the sea turkey. what do you do? >> stephen: yes. >> because if you're on a diet low on salt, what you do is instead of putting the salt in the dish, you put the salt out of the dish. >> stephen: this is all just salt, sea salt. >> you get salt and put water like i'm doing-- >> stephen: like this? >> you mix it-- >> stephen: okay. >> then it gets, like, wet and you cover the fish with the salt like that.
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>> stephen: all right. just pack it on? >> you pack it on, completely. >> stephen: josé, what has more salt, the cover of this fish or the ocean we took the fish out of? ( laughter ) >> the cover of the fish-- >> stephen: this doesn't make the fish too salty? >> i tell you, stephen, this is good for diets low on salt because the salt is in the outside. >> stephen: mm-hmm, mm-hmm. >> you're doing good. >> stephen: am i doing all right? >> now to make sure they know it's you, you put your fingertips-- >> stephen: ( laughs ) so the cops can trace whose fish it is? >> the cops can't take you to jail if this is too dry. >> stephen: that is a scene from c.s.i. andulusia. ( laughter ) >> okay, it's-- ( pronouncing ) andu-la-thia. >> stephen: andu-la-thia, my pardon, my apologies. >> much better. i need some-- because this is going into the oven, this is going into the oven! ( drum roll ) ( drum roll ) in like 30 minutes, 40 minutes! ( drum roll ) ( rim shot )
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( cheers and applause ) and-- it's coming out of the oven! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: why does mine look different than yours? >> because you're stephen colbert! >> stephen: okay, now what do i do? >> right now in this moment the salt now is hard because the humidity has left the salt and the fish is cooked to perfection inside. ( cracking ) and you-- >> stephen: mine is not-- >> oh, my god! what happened there? oh, my god! oh! oh! >> jon: oh! oh! ( cheers and applause ) >> he has powers! he has super powers! ( piano riff ) >> stephen: now do i wash my turkey? what do i do now? >> well, try to slice it. i'm quicker than you. i already got my fish cleaned. >> stephen: mm-hmm. >> and then you take the skin out.
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the fish is perfectly cooked inside. this turkey, i don't know. >> stephen: mmm. >> you see-- >> stephen: that tastes like fish. ( laughter ) >> and then this is amazing thing, you like fish? >> stephen: yes. you make the fish baked in salt. you like turkey? you make the turkey baked in salt. this is the beauty with the people, this is the beauty of america. you be who you want to be but always respecting each other and loving each other. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: we have to take a quick break. josé, don't go anywhere. we'll be right back with more chef josé andrés, everybody! ( band playing ) ( applause )
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( band playing ) ( applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody! we're back in the kitchen with chef josé andrés. now, do we put any of this on the fish? is it supposed to be dressed in any way. >> sure, it's supposed to be dressed. >> stephen: i mean, i don't know. now it's naked so we can dress it again. >> stephen: okay. >> maybe we go-- >> stephen: while you do that, let me ask you this. the world central kitchen has launched something called the climate disaster fund. what is that? >> well, it's going to be so much need in the next years that we announce a $1 billion climate
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fund to make sure that we are able to be next to every american person or any person around the world that is going to suffer the consequences of climate change. >> stephen: $1 billion. >> $1 billion. we already have $50 million in the bank. we have jeff bezos' gift of $100 million, we'll put extra money in that fund and we'll be getting donations from different individuals and corporations to make sure we have enough money in the bank to take care of every single person that may suffer from climate change to make sure that no american or no person around the world will be hungry after disasters. you have my word. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: cheers. now, josé, did you-- can i give this-- is this enough to feed everybody here? >> okay. i heard you saying that that was going to feed everybody but i didn't prepare myself. but, this is the one thing. i have restaurants in a few cities. >> stephen: yeah, yeah, i know. >> everybody here, if they bring the ticket of being here with you today at the stephen colbert show, they can go to any of my
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restaurants and bring their loved ones and the entire meal is on you and me. boom. ( cheers and applause ) happy thanksgiving! >> stephen: it's a deal! josé andrés! to learn more about world central kitchen go to chef josé andrés, everybody that's it for the "late show." james corden is next. goodnight. captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh captiong ♪ the late late show-oh-oh the late late show woo! ♪ the late late show-oh-ho the late late show-oh-oh!
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