tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC November 29, 2016 11:37pm-12:37am MST
[ cheers and applause ] ?? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- lester holt, star of "search party," actress alia shawkat, author jade chang, featuring the 8g band with keith carlock. ?? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? well, that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president obama and donald trump met at the white house today. where they discussed foreign and domestic policy. you know, things like which one
that's right, donald trump visited president obama in the white house today which got trump really excited to do his favorite thing, evict a black family from their home. [ laughter and applause ] during today's white house g, looks forward to seeking obama's counsel in the future to which obama replied, "yeah, sure, my number is 555 --" [ laughter ] and that's it. newt gingrich said in an interview yesterday that would he like to serve as chief planner for donald trump's administration. but first, before starting his new job, though, he must finish up his contract at the keebler tree.
bernie sanders told reporters yesterday that he is prepared to work with donald trump. but then he warned trump, "i keep the office hot and i don't clean up my pistachios." [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] according to new research, with a guided meditation process called erotic hypnosis, it may be possible to experience a touch-free orgasm. "let's try it," said melania. [ cheers and applause ] a group of scientists say they have been able to give paralyzed monkeys back the control of their legs using new implants. said monkeys who got the implants, "my eyes are up here." [ laughter ] "i'm still a monkey with a brain, sir."
ago today but who's counting? [ light laughter ] [ applause ] and finally, a lot of us, we talked about this last night, a lot of us were shocked, surprised that donald trump won the election. and because of the overwhelming support of a candidate who's been openly racist, misogynist and anti-gay, many of us are struggling with how to feel right now. so here with a special message, our writers, amber ruffin, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi, seth. >> seth: hi. >> hey. hey. hey. hey, seth, thank you for letting me come out tonight. >> seth: of course, any time, amber. >> i have a special message to all of the white hillary supporters who are feeling disappointed in their fellow americans today. join the fun.
>> seth: sorry. amber, sorry, "join the fun," what do you mean? >> yeah, that feeling you're feeling, right now. black people have been feeling this way forever! join the fun! woo! [ light laughter ] right now you're wondering how you're going to get along with all your friends who voted for trump. this is how black people feel all the time. join the fun! [ light laughter ] >> seth: now, amber, if i may, here, you told me you had a message of hope. >> and i do. i hope that fool doesn't get us all killed. woo! [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: amber, amber, amber. that -- that -- i'm sorry -- that isn't hopeful, that's sad. i mean, do you have any good news? >> yeah. >> seth: okay, good. >> it only gets worse! woo! from now on, every time you look at a white person, you're going
of the people who cared more about e-mails than racism. j-t-f. join the fun! [ light laughter ] woo! [ applause ] this week my facebook feed is full of white people being, like, "who knew america was so racist?" we did! woo! [ laughter ] join the fun! >> seth: amber, amber, amber. my uer going to talk about the election's silver lining. is there one? >> yeah, it's official. people are more misogynistic than racist. >> seth: well, that's not a silver lining. >> tell me about it. i'm black and a woman! where's the fun? here's the fun, join it! [ light laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: amber, please, stop calling it fun. what you're describing is not fun. >> not at first it's not. the thought of someone believing you deserve fewer rights because
but then you realize that by doing what you do everyday, you prove to them you are unstoppable. they can spend their time trying to pass laws to take away your rights and silence your voice, but all you have to do is live your lives right in their faces, and it proves we simply cannot be stopped. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: amber, wow, what you said there, that was -- that was really beautiful, amber. >> oh, thank you. that's the last beautiful thing you'll hear before we all die! join the fun! >> seth: give it up for amber, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] amber ruffin! where are you going? you guys, we've got a great show for you tonight. he is the anchor from nbc nightly news.
[ cheers and applause ] also, from tbs' "search party," fantastic actress alia shawkat is here. [ cheers and applause ] great new show, can't wait to talk to her. and she has -- her first novel is out, it is called "the wangs vs. the world." it is an amazing read. jade chang is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] a fantastic author. now we have a lot to get to, but before we do that, i am 42 years old. i'm married. but nothing makes me feel older than when i realized i do not know the new slang terms that teenagers are using. it seems like these days teen slang terms are evolving so fast it is impossible to keep up. so we here at "late night" decided to give you a little primer on new teen slang terms on a segment we call "seth explains teen slang." ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: let's start with this one, "jack reacher," this is a popular new teen slang term.
a really long phone charger. [ laughter ] here it is in the sentence, "getting my phone plugged into the outlet behind the couch is mission impossible, anyone got a jack reacher?" [ laughter ] up next, it's "tragic mike." here's the definition, that drunk guy who always gets naked even though his body sucks. [ laughter ] let's see tragic mike in a sentence, "typical friday night, tyler got hammered and streaked through the kitchen at 1:00 a.m." hashtag tragic mike. hashtag xxs. moving on, here's a helpful slang term, "gray-z." let's see what it means. when an old person tries way too hard to look cool and hip. [ light laughter ] let's see it in a sentence, "did you see kevin's 70-year-old old aunt ellen trying to dab at his birthday party last night? she got 99 problems and most of them are medical." hashtag gray-z. [ cheers and applause ]
what does bruce ringsteen mean? well, it's someone who leaves voice mail messages that last four hours. [ laughter ] let's see, in a sentence, "my voice mailbox is full but it turned out to be just one long message from my mom detailing her knee operation." hashtag bruce ringsteen. hashtag born to run on. [ applause ] obviously teens, there's a hookup culture, i don't know if you heard this about teens. our next slang term is "snake eyes." here's the definition, when two ones hook up at a party. [ audience ohs ] well hold on, let's use it in a sentence. [ laughter ] "did you see big head susan and lazy eye brian going at it on the futon last night? someone rolled snake eyes."
and remember, if you're ever at a party and you're making out with someone and you can't see a snake eyes, you're the snake eyes. [ laughter ] everybody -- guys -- moving on. the holidays are coming up. and we have the slang term "wanksgiving." give it a second. it's not what you think. [ laughter ] here's the definition, when you go home for the holidays and masturbate in your childhood bed. [ laughter and applause ] childhood bedroom totally made me nostalgic. then i saw a megan fox poster was still up on the wall and the next thing you know, it's happy wanksgiving." [ applause ] moving on. our next new slang term is "aladdin." this has really taken off with teens. here's the definition, a guy who gets so high he starts talking to your carpet. [ laughter ] for example, "if you're wondering why tyler isn't on the dance floor right now, it's because that aladdin's upstairs yelling at my mom's rug for
i would be okay with it if he wasn't completely naked." hashtag tragic mike. [ laughter and applause ] our last teen slang term is "president trump," it means something you can't believe actually happened. [ light laughter ] for example, "hey, remember that guy who got kicked in the head by a horse? he's our class valedictorian." hashtag president trump. [ cheers and applause ] that was "seth explains teen slang." we're going to be right back with lester holt, everybody. ? thank you for dining with us. hope to see you again soon. whoa, whoa, i got this. just gotta get the check. almost there. i can't reach it. if you have alligator arms,
got this. thanks, dennis! if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. growwwlph. it's what you do. oh that is good crispy duck. inside the rack houses of jim beam, thousands of barrels lay silent. aging, building a fuller smoother flavor that only comes from being aged four long years.
and we're proud to reveal that jim beam black has been awarded the world's highest rated bourbon. their words not ours, make history. mmm... i can't believe it's so delicious. i can't believe it has 40% fewer calories than butter. i can't believe it's made with real, simple ingredients. i can't believe we're on a whale. i can't believe my role isn't bigger. oh, it's real. real ingredients. unbelievable taste.
walked around the shelter, no intention of adopting. he was the very last kennel in the very last row. emaciated. he was skin and bones. usually what you see in neglected dogs. it was one of those complete, meant-to-be moments... i totally fell in love with him. (avo) through the subaru share the love event, get a new subaru, and we'll donate another two hundred and fifty dollars to help those in need.
?? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. all this week we've had the incredible, incredible drummer from steely dan here who has a record out now called "city of cranes" from his new group, band of other brothers, [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for a great week, keith. we love having you. and give it up for the entire 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] with us every night. our first guest tonight is the anchor of "nbc nightly news with lester holt" and "dateline nbc." a new episode of "dateline" airs friday night at 9:00 p.m. eastern, 8:00 central. please welcome back to the show, our friend lester holt.
>> seth: how are you? >> i'm great. >> seth: i'm always so happy you make time for us. obviously, you've already done nightly news tonight. >> yeah, it's been a slow news week so i thought i would stop by. [ laughter ] nothing really going on. >> seth: exactly. nothing filling up your day. so today, obviously i'm going to guess you were reporting on the fact that donald trump went to the white house and sat down with president obama. >> yes. we did a special report today when that happened. a lot of people thought they would never see that. and of course, everyone wanted to be a fly on the wall because, well, they are kind of rivals. >> seth: sure. and they never met before. >> yeah, no, they never actually have sat down together. so what happens in those things, typically they have their meeting and then late in the game they bring cameras in for a photo op. >> seth: yeah. >> they say a few words and then they kick the reporters out. so we don't really know what happened during the bulk of the meeting. >> seth: yeah. it could have been dead silence for all we know. [ laughter ]
10 or 15 and they were in there for about 90 minutes. >> seth: well, you know, that's something. and obviously i think the country is better off if they are communicating. >> you know, i think it was -- you know, we ended our broadcast tonight with that image of them because i think the american public needs to see that. >> seth: sure. >> see that, you know, listen, we move forward. >> seth: and, you know, historically when you look back through time and see other presidents having those meetings, it does remind you we are in this together. you know, when -- it's the democrat handing it over to a republican, or vice versa. >> it's small club. >> not a lot of people who have done that job. and so, you know, donald trump will understand the weight of the office just like the others learned along the way. >> seth: another thing that not a lot of people had as a job is moderating a presidential debate. last time you were here you had just moderated one of the democratic primary debates. >> that's right. that's right. >> seth: and we were talking about the sort of unique stress involved in moderating a debate. i can only imagine how much farther amped up that stress was for the first presidential debate. how did you find that experience?
>> thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. not everyone felt the way you did, by the way. but thank you for that. [ light laughter ] it was -- you know, when i got the call, there was that "wow, i'm gonna do the first presidential debate." and then about 30 minutes later, i'm going to do the first presidential debate. [ light laughter ] >> seth: right. >> it's a lot of pressure. i mean, i had interviewed both of them. i, you know, obviously knew where they were coming from. but you don't know what to expect when you get them out on the stage there. and it is very lonely. becausyo the audience in the arena is behind you. you are told there's a hundred million people are watching but all you're seeing is just the two of them. you have an ear piece. but all you're getting occasionally is just a time check. >> seth: right. >> you know, there's 40 minutes left in the debate. so you're kind of on your own and have you no idea really how it's going. >> seth: and the difference, correct me if i'm wrong, but the difference between the previous one you did and this one, no commercials. >> no commercials. the previous one, i was with andrea mitchell, so i had a partner, so i could collect my thoughts when she was asking questions and vice versa.
own. there's no commercials. it is 90 minutes. and i remember in the desk there's two clocks. there was a clock for the two minutes when they answered the initial question, then there was a time of day clock. and at one point i looked down and it was like, it said 10:09. i remember this. and it felt like a lot of time passed. and i went and i looked and it was 10:10. and i'm like -- [ laughter ] it's like, time just -- time begins to stand still, you know. have you ever had moments like that in your life, where it's just eveything -- >> seth: yeah. bit. [ laughter ] so we'll see how that goes. [ cheers and applause ] so again, i want to also credit, you know, covering an election like you did on tuesday night. you had a great team. you're with chuck and savannah. >> yeah. and tom brokaw. >> seth: tom brokaw. and obviously, i thought you were again, everybody, you have to remain sort of even, even as the results come in. and by even i don't mean nonpartisan, i mean, like things are happening that no one expected and you have to sort of
how did it all lay out for you when it started breaking the way that nobody expected? >> you know, we're all reporters. i mean, that's what we do. so we started the night, and i had discussions even before tuesday. i said, "you know, when we go out there, this is breaking news. we don't really know how this is going to go. and let's just do what reporters do. we follow the story." and that's what we did. i remember looking over, you know, chuck todd with his -- he's got his ipads and phones and his little calculator and i remember he is looking at florida at one point and he's like, he gives this look. 's he says, there's not enough. she can't catch up here. >> seth: yeah. >> and that was the first hint that wait a minute, you know, the direction is going in a way that many people didn't anticipate. and we just continued to follow the story to it's conclusion. >> seth: is it exciting for you to be in one of those situations where you kind of have to be at your best because of the fact that the news is breaking in a way that everyone, no matter where they stand politically, wants to have it explained to them quickly. >> yeah, i mean, i always try to put myself, no matter what the
how would i be watching? what would i want to know? and so there were many points. i said, let's walk through the boards again. here are the states that are too close to call. here's where they're at. because that's what people really want at that point. >> seth: yeah. >> they want -- how is this going to end? it's a big drama. we didn't finish up until, what was it? i think donald trump spoke around 2:45. >> seth: yeah. >> you know, we finished up at 3:30. >> seth: that's great. because we wanted to be on live that night and nbc said "i don't know if you're gonna be on at 12:30." and we would not have been. >> i would have been t one in your audience. [ light laughter ] >> seth: exactly. that would have just been you sitting there. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: so you know, i think -- you know, we're only a couple days into this post election period. a lot of talk about how the media covered it. a lot of talk about how the polling was wrong. was there an over focus on the polling? do you think journalism is gonna sort of do a sort of post op as how this went? and if so, is there anything you wish got more coverage?
been done differently? >> well, i mean, i think the "late night" host got it wrong. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. we -- >> no, you know -- >> seth: we may have on that. >> i've been reading all these articles and you know, obviously we want to go back and look at, you know, what we could have done better. but the fact of the matter is, you know, everyone was -- you know, there was a surprise. it was different than the polls anticipated. you know, the polls don't make the decisions, we make the decisions. so tuesday, those of us that voted, we went and voted. >> seth: yeah. >> and you know what, the system worked, you know? the person with the so we'll certainly go back and look. i'm really proud of our team. we've -- you know, this has been a long, long road. you know, we had a candidate like none other, you know, who really -- you know, added new dynamic to the race. we had our younger, what we call our road warriors, who are out there covering these stories. >> seth: they did a fantastic job. >> and they were just amazing. and it was just -- energized the place. and you know, tuesday was our super bowl. >> seth: yeah. >> and you know, did we -- you know, did we fumble or did we throw a few interceptions along
we'll look that, but i'm really, really proud of the work we did. >> seth: and you -- i should note, and you have the nickname, because you sat in the chair so much for breaking news, true story, your nickname is iron pants. >> yes. [ laughter ] somehow -- you wanna see? [ light laughter ] did i just do that in front of an audience? >> seth: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> not cool. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, when i was -- i started my nbc part of my career at msnbc. and it was during a period of incredible news. 2000 recount. >> seth: right. >> the bush/gore. and then, you know, 9/11. and the invasion of afghanistan and iraq. and it meant long, long hours in the anchor chair. i mean, 8, 9, 10 hours sometimes. and somebody there nicknamed me iron pants. which i never knew meant, you know, that i wasn't burning a hole in my pants from sitting there or if it meant that i could go long periods without relieving myself. >> seth: right, there you go. >> somehow. i don't know. [ laughter ] that was -- and by the way, i'm 57 and that no longer holds.
>> seth: yeah. they call you aluminum pants. [ applause ] >> yeah, aluminum. >> seth: well, i just want to say, thank you for getting us through it all. i thought you did a great job. i thought your team did a great job. you do nbc news proud. and it's pleasure to have you. >> it is fun to stop by. thanks for having me. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: lester holt, everybody. "nightly news with lester holt" airs week nights right here on nbc. we'll be right back with alia shawkat. [ cheers and applause ] ?? ia sandwich as full of intrigue as it is flavor. some say it was invented by deli owner arnold reuben. others, by reuben kulakofsky during a poker game. and some insist it was hollywood starlet marjorie rambeau in a fit of crazed hunger. seriously. the reuben's past may be debatable, but its great taste is not. stacked with lean corned beef, bavarian-style sauerkraut, swiss cheese, and thousand island dressing on new freshly-baked rye bread.
is this my car? state farm knows that for every one of those moments... what? there's one of these... sam, i gotta go... is this my car? this is ridiculous! this is ridiculous! from car insurance... to car loans. state farm is here to help life go right. ?? [makes siren noise] i'm watching that. eew. every christmas is memorable. because it's more than a gift. it's a memory she'll wear forever. save 25% on any citizen watch. proximity, powered by light, with bluetooth technology, at kay, the number-one memory-maker in america. every kiss begins with kay. this is lynchburg, tennessee. this is how many people were born here. this is how many are named hiawatha kitty mcgee.
?? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is a talented actress you know best from her work on "arrested development." she stars in the new series "search party" which premiers november 21st on cbs. let's take a look. >> do you guys remember that girl chantal witherbottom? >> no.
>> she was like, she was like this girl, you know, we went to college with her. she%-- i'm just trying to think of a way you would remember her. here, look. >> do you have ketchup? >> oh. >> remember? >> oh, yeah. oh, she sucked. >> why'd she suck? >> because she had nothing to offer. she was always like brushing her hair in public. it's like, brush it at home. >> seth: please welcome to the show, alia shawkat. [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> seth: hi. >> hi, man. >> seth: i'm so happy to have you here. >> i'm happy to be here. it's really nice. >> seth: it's nice to see you. i first met you when you were a teenager working on "arrested development." >> yeah, i was trying to remember exactly when we met. it was just at some like some weird party? >> seth: probably at some "snl" party or something like that. >> right, yeah. it was cool. >> seth: you were somewhere where you were way too young to
been such a weird time in your life. to be on a show that everybody was watching. and to be -- >> or kind of. >> seth: oh, yeah, i guess -- >> they weren't watching. >> seth: they eventually caught up. everybody saw it now. just not when it could have been helpful. >> right. [ laughter ] >> seth: but first, is it true your actual first kiss was with michael cera on the show? >> yes. it's very true. >> seth: wow. [ laughter ] >> yeah, my -- thank you. [ laughter ] michael's here somewhere. yeah, my father was on set with me at the time. and he is kind of like a protective, you know, arab dad. d very, very nervous about it happening. because my dad was just like stone cold like watching the monitors. but i kind of describe it as like two fists hitting each other. cause we were both so awkward. we were just like -- [ laughter ] like we just kind of like lunged towards each other. then we never talked about it again. [ laughter ] >> seth: you are implying that that's the wrong way to kiss, which worries me. because that is how i kiss. [ laughter ] >> no, so i've continued that format. >> seth: oh, okay. >> yeah, of course. >> seth: and when you went back. because obviously there was this long gap between when you did it to when you came back and did it on netflix.
to your cast mates? >> yes, almost too much so, i think. yeah, i came back and i was like you know in my early 20s. and i had traveled, you know, tried drugs, had sex and i felt like i needed to like really prove that i had done that. thinking i was gonna be like paris, been there, been drunk there. [ laughter ] but it never came up, obviously. [ laughter ] nice to see you again, will. how ya been? >> seth: i like that you thought a let's get together and talk about places we've been. and what we've done there. [ laughter ] >> yeah. really wanted to prove it. >> seth: adult stuff. so congratulations on "search party." >> thank you. >> seth: i really enjoyed the first episode. so this is a very unique show. it's great. you are the lead of the show. as you saw from the clip, a lot of other really funny people. this is sort of -- i believe you described this as like a hipster "columbo." >> yeah. >> seth: but if you could just expand on that. >> i like to think of it as our generation's "columbo." yeah, it is about someone who
and also kind of representing, you know, a generation of where you feel kind of like helpless and lost and feeling like you're not part of a bigger thing outside of yourself. and learning how to actually like make a difference and what is valuable to you and what isn't. >> seth: there are really nice observations about the characters and i feel like that i hadn't seen before. this reann of like what you would call hipster culture. but you have pointed out the people that complain the most about hipsters are other hipsters. >> yes. i think that's the most insulting thing you can say to someone. is they're like, you're a hipster and they are like, how dare you? [ laughter ] which is really strange. there's kind of like a underlying self loathing i think with hipsters. but, i mean, it's true. i think it's true. and i think that's what a lot of the characters in this show kind of represent. is like learning it come to
actually like make a difference. >> seth: and obviously that is a nice parallel to what is happening right now. i feel like with that aged person and the results of the election. 'cause i feel like young people and we talked about this. you are the child of an immigrant and this was not an outcome that was particularly pleasant for you. >> definitely not. yeah, i mean, i remember texting my dad and i asked if my grandmother, i call bibi, who is muslim, is gonna be okay. and it was a true panic. and fervor, like he has no power, trust me. we're gonna be fine. our lives are gonna be okay. and the truth is, we are. we're surviving. and we will get through it. but it is important, i think, yeah, that what the show kind of touches on is that as a younger generation, we obviously are coming to terms with this feeling so incongruent with how we feel and we just have to be a lot more not just verbal and reactive. but actually make a difference and be active with it. it's not just about verbalizing it on our cell phones, it's
towards making a difference. >> seth: that's a fantastic way to put it. [ cheers and applause ] and you -- i'm very happy and honored you're doing this here. but you're going to come back. you're gonna sing a song for us. tell us the song you chose. >> it's a nina simone called "trouble in mind." and i was listening to it a lot on the plane yesterday. it was definitely a very emotional day. and i was just like, you know reading poetry and listening to music and someone like nina simone, who was such a like political activist and such a passionate performer, just rang so true to me. and i just kept listening to it on repeat over and over again. yeah, it's like to show that we get through it and that we have troubles in our mind but power in our hearts. >> seth: all right. well i can't wait to hear it when we get back. alia shawkat everybody. the first season of search party airs november 21st on tbs. we'll be right back with more from alia. [ cheers and applause ] ?? (timer beeping)
(tea kettle whistling) (sighing) hey mom, can i help? yeah, i'd love your help. (grunting) awww... (announcer vo) the real magic of the holidays is when we all give a little more. (ooooh) zero calories. (ooooo) but max pepsi taste. (wow) (applause) pepsi zero sugar. what if a company that didn't make cars made plastics that make them lighter? the lubricants that improved fuel economy. even technology to make engines more efficient. what company does all this? exxonmobil, that's who.
helping you save money and reduce emissions. and you thought we just made the gas. energy lives here. as a marriott rewards member, i can embrace a world full of surprising moments. the new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. so no matter where you go, you are here. join or link accounts today. remember 2007? smartphones? o m g it's time to snap out of it. hello moto. snap on a jbl speaker. put a 70" screen on a wall. get a 10x optical zoom. get excited world. hello moto. moto is here. the new moto z with motomods. save up to $400 when you trade in your old phone
? trouble in mind, i'm blue but i won't be blue always 'cause the sun's gonna shine on our backdoor some day ? ? trouble in mind its true i have almost lost my mind never had so much trouble in my life before ? ? i'm gonna lay my head on some lonesome railroad line and let the two nineteen ? ? train ease my troubled mind ?
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: alia shawkat, everybody! we'll be right back with jade chang. [ cheers and applause ] ?? my moderate to severe chronic plaque psoriasis made a simple trip to the grocery store anything but simple. so i had an important conversation with my dermatologist about humira. he explained that humira works inside my body rce of inflammation that contributes to my symptoms. in clinical trials, most adults taking humira were clear or almost clear, and many saw 75% and even 90% clearance in just 4 months. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure.
where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. ask about humira, the #1 prescribed biologic by dermatologists. clearer skin is possible. mmm... i can't believe it's so delicious. i can't believe it has 40% fewer calories than butter. i can't believe it's made with real, simple ingredients. i can't believe we're on a whale. i can't believe my role isn't bigger. oh, it's real. real ingredients. unbelievable taste. go ahead, enjoy. look at this... real ingredients. a silicon valley server farm. the vault to man's greatest wonders... selfies, cat videos and winking emojis. speaking of tech wonders, with the geico app
the average age of a homeless person is 9 years old. my dream is to help kids living on the streets with education. charles what's up man? -whoa! how can we help? -ah man! wait, is that a basketball player? yes! -wow! my heart's about to jump out my chest man. charles you ought to be proud man. i'm just extremely grateful they were here giving them some encouragement- that's something that these kids are going to remember for a lifetime.
whoa. why are you deleting these photos? because my teeth are yellow. why don't you use a whitening toothpaste? i'm afraid it's bad for my teeth. try crest 3d white. crest 3d white diamond strong toothpaste and rinse... ...gently whiten... ...and fortify weak spots. use together for 2 times stronger enamel. crest 3d white. novel, "the wangs vs. the world," is available in bookstores now. please welcome to the show, jade chang. ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] congratulations on your book, jade. >> thank you so much. >> seth: it is your first novel. >> it is.
write an immigrant novel that was rejection of what we consider sort of the typical immigrant novel, explain that real quick for us. >> that is true. i wanted to write something that was a little bit of a middle finger to the traditional idea of the immigrant novel. in that i didn't want to write about immigrants who just felt like they couldn't fit in or felt like they just had to measure up to mainstream society. i wanted to write about immigrants who were, you know, who feel like they're central to the story of america. and who you ee >> seth: well, it's excellent timing. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: excellent timing and it ties in a lot -- this is a family that actually is well off and loses everything in the financial crisis. >> right. >> seth: yet it's still a very upbeat book and it's very funny, which you wouldn't expect from a book about a financial crash. but this is actually. you were inspired to write about it because you were working at a magazine at the time when that happened. >> yeah that is true.
i thought it was just going to be, you know, a kind of "stuck at" job while i was working on my serious novel. at night i would be working, you know, at this kind of luxury magazine. >> seth: gotcha. >> but one of my jobs at the magazine was to go to parties. >> seth: okay, that's not a bad job. >> yeah. it's okay. it's okay. and so i went to this one party in the late summer 2008 for the trump tower dubai. >> seth: oh wow. >> t but you may have never heard of the building because it does not exist. >> seth: oh, that's strange. i thought everything he said he'd do he does. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] what happened? wait, does that mean the wall might not happen? >> oh, my god! >> seth: anyways, so you go to the trump dubai party. >> so yeah. so i went to a party for the trump tower dubai. it was incredibly over the top. it was at this huge mansion in bel-air.
with his own two hands. sprinkling them with 24 carat gold dust. literally. >> seth: perfect, yep. >> and serving them up to the crowd. cirque du soleil performers in full regalia were there, kind of stalking on stilts above the crowd. christina aguilera sang a cappella. >> seth: that's fantastic. can't beat that. >> it was a good time. and so then i was in line at the valet waiting for my beat up mitsubishi to be pulled up to the line. and i looked into my gift bag and there was an ipod touch for each person. i just had this moment of thinking, all right, this is the beginning of the end. we are about to collapse under the weight of our own excess. you know? and but it was -- it was this moment where i felt like, okay, anything -- you know, if -- when the world falls apart, anything could happen. and that's so scary but it's also kind of electric and
>> seth: that was pretty close to when it actually did all fall apart. >> yeah, it was just -- pretty much a month later lehman brothers collapsed, et cetera, et cetera. >> seth: and that started it all. >> yeah. >> seth: and now your father, i imagine he is proud of you for writing this book. >> very. yeah. >> seth: has he read the book? >> well, seth -- [ light laughter ] so when i gave the book -- my father was very eager to read the book. when i gave it to him, i said, the book is a little bit rated r. >> seth: okay. >> and i'm pretty sure he opened it up, staea the first sex scene, closed the cover, and then he started reading war and peace. >> seth: really? >> yes. >> seth: that seems like he is really trying to put it off as long as possible. you know what's funny, 'cause we've had both actors and actresses on this show who have said their parents don't like watching them in sex scenes. this is the first time we've had someone who doesn't want to read a sex scene. >> it's not me. >> seth: it's not even you. >> it's not me. >> seth: yeah. he doesn't want to read your fictional take on what sex is
[ laughter ] precisely. >> seth: there's too many clues in there. he doesn't even want to deal with it. he's like you know what, i'm gonna let some russians kill themselves and i'm gonna deal with that. and then -- >> he said we should all read it though. >> seth: "war and peace." yeah. you -- this is fantastic. one of the characters in the book is a stand-up comedian. >> yes. >> seth: and in order to feel like you could authentically write a stand-up comedian you went and took improv classes at ucb which is a very famous improv theatre both here in l.a. >> i did, yeah. >> seth: how was that? was that helpful? d these improv classes was i wanted to know what it felt like to stand up in front of a group of people and try to make them laugh and fail. >> seth: okay. >> because that's you know that's the thing that i wrote. so the way these classes work, you know, it is eight classes and then a live show. so after the first three classes, i was like, oh, my god, i'm so funny. like -- [ laughter ] i'm probably going to be on
>> seth: wow, okay, great. >> and then class number four. >> seth: what happened between three and four? >> so it turns out that the first three classes, you're really, you're just kind of pitching ideas. >> seth: sure. >> pitching jokes. but class number four, suddenly you are -- you have to like play a character. you have to embody somebody and come up with ideas and jokes and i was so not good at that. and so all my dreams dashed. >> set y you feel like taking that class -- because it is very authentic to me when you read it. and it is great to know when a writer does not have any sense of what that would be like and you went out and did that research. >> yeah, i really did it. >> seth: that's fantastic. and i'm sorry that you had that moment we all have of i'm going to make it. and then you're like, oh, no, i'm not. >> i know. >> seth: 'cause i thought i was doing really well like my first week on "snl" and then i realized i also couldn't embody characters. and they said, we're gonna put you behind a desk. so there you go. [ laughter and applause ] >> but look at where you ended up! >> seth: jade chang everybody,
this has been an especially tiring week here. i cannot wait to hit the hay, so gene, take it away. >> hey, folks. [ clearing throat ] the show is over. the sun's gone down. street lights blink on all over town. a day spent hardworking and making people laugh. makes for one sleepy host, and a the security guards doze off right away with no frills. the producers, with help, from scotch, whiskey and pills. [ laughter ] the accountants count sheep, till the moment they slumber. even the band hears the sandman calling their number.
the nude. [ light laughter ] seth, ya boy, just snores and snores. eli wears a sleep mask that says "nasty dude." [ laughter ] our cue card guy, wally, well he sleeps the best in a bed made of cue cards like some insane bird nest. [ laughter ] he roosts like a chicken, sitting upon crossed legs, providing warmth andte to his large clutch of eggs. andrew, the network censor, nods off at his desk after bleeping all the f bombs, the n words and the rest. when he bleeps naughty words, he's the king of his castle, but he's fast asleep now, so i'm gonna say asshole.
ass[ bleep ]. [ laughter ] writer john lutz never cared much for darkness, the night can be scary, so quiet and starless. so when the cats stop their meowing and the dogs are all barkless, he climbs into bed with his roommate, marcus. it's not what it looks like, they both like women. but hey, life's for the living. the show is over, sun's gone down. our sleepy host must rest his precious crown. his tan little desk makes the perfect bed, as he dreams of left wing propaganda for tomorrow.
good night, sweet prince. [ audience aws ] [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> seth: stay tuned for carson daly. [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> carson: well, hello there. it's the middle of the night on nbc, which can only mean one thing, you're watching "last call." thank you for that. we're at skylark here in new york city. great show tonight.