Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 29, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

11:35 pm
>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- terrence howard. wolf blitzer. and music from bonnie raitt. and now, stay right there -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: hi, there. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. i'm glad you're here. because it was a very busy weekend.
11:36 pm
have you seen this cover of the "new york post"? pop goes the wiener? that's anthony weiner who resigned from congress in 2011 after he was caught sexting on twitter with the name wiener. this is not an old paper from then, this is today's paper. he did it again. the "post" somehow got hold of a back and forth of what appears to be sexting between weaner and yet another woman he met on twitter. turns out she was a trump supporter and she gave it all to the paper and h the photos they published. there he is slipping into his shirt. i have no idea how he took this shot of himself. this is a shot with his 4-year-old son in bed next to him. i'm not sure what the exclamations are for. then we have this ad for jockey briefs. i hope he's at least getting the underwear for free, you know. that's a lot of advertising. so he's been married the whole
11:37 pm
to hillary clinton, has finally had enough. she announced today they're separating which makes sense. what i wonder about was him. i was thinking about him trying to figure out why a person would do this. not just once, not just twice, not even just three times. all that's happened, losing his career, damaging his marriage, hurting his wife's career, why would he do this again? i thought about it a long time and i think i may have figured it out. he's got a salami in his pants and he wants people to see it. [ laughter ] it's as simple as that. hean [ cheers and applause ] it would be like having a lamborghini in your garage and not being able to allowed to take it out on the street. he wants people to see it so badly he can't stop. you can show to it your wife and that's great for a while. you can go to the gym, though the guys in the shower. maybe put your leg up on the bench. hey, fellas, what's up? you can go to the doctor and pull it out there. but none of it -- it's not the
11:38 pm
of appreciative ladies and help pretending to be ladies on the internet, you know? [ laughter ] so another male politician goes down because he can't keep his pants on. we need to invent either phones without cameras or men without penises. they don't mix well, you know? [ cheers and applause ] thank you. of course, donald trump weighed in on this. he wrote on his website, he said, huma is making a very wise decision, i know anthony weiner off without him. i wonder how well he knows him? does he know him well? or does he know him well? donald trump's doctor has been making the rounds to defend his unusually effusive report on the candidate's health. this is trump's doctor, dr. harold bornstein. they met in the crazy hair club for men. [ laughter ] he looks like the kind of doctor that would give you a medical marijuana card for your restless
11:39 pm
very enthusiastic letter about trump's health last year in which he proclaimed, mr. trump has had a recent complete medical examination, only positive results, blood pressure, laboratory results were astonishingly excellent, his physical strength and stamina are extraordinary, if elected mr. trump i can state unequivocally will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency. i guess that means he did physicals on obama and reagan and lincoln too. the letter in five minutes and used hyperbole because being rushed makes him anxious. so, well, he should see a doctor about that. [ laughter ] but he stands by his overall assessment of the candidate's health. so we're entirely clear, according to his doctor, donald trump's health is astonishingly excellent, unless you're talking about the meteorologist that got him out of the vietnam draft. in that one he's very sick. [ laughter ] the poor guy could barely walk in that one, so --
11:40 pm
now that this report has been verified, trump is demanding a detail ed medical report from hillary clinton which is a subject that has made me part of a far right-wing conspiracy theory. last monday hillary clinton was here. i asked her to open a jar of pickles to prove her strength or whatever. and she did and as soon as she did the internet was set athe blaze with accusations that we somehow rigged the pickle jar that we loosened it. alex jones, host of an internet show, did the most entertaining job of examining this. he spent time going over the pickle jar in great detail. he said, the jar didn't make a popping sound when she opened it which proves the whole thing was fake. i responded and spoke out, shot a jar of pickles live on air. getting my attention was all part of alex jones' master plan. >> i trolled them, i knew they'd pick up on this. i wasn't desperate to get on jimmy kimmel, i trolled you all the time.
11:41 pm
bro, you say -- i'm going to skip this break. bro, when you say, okay, so what if we did stage it, what's the big deal? you're making it look like she's in great health. >> jimmy: bro, she opened a jar of pickles, how great does that make her health look? [ cheers and applause ] i mean, really, bro. so we're bros. the big takeaway from me is when i am vice president, nobody will be able to use the word "bro" more than three times a year. that i can promise. [ cheers and applause you know, senator john mccain of arizona eight years ago, john mccain was preparing to debate barack obama for the presidency. now he's getting stopped at the airport and being asked to answer questions like this. >> who is your favorite celebrity? what of the younger generation of female celebrities? >> hm. >> britney spears? >> there you go. britney spears is certainly very attractive.
11:42 pm
palin to be his running mate. someone asked him at the airport. there's been some very fine coverage of this very unusual election campaign but i don't think there has been any coverage finer than this from msnbc who we thank for providing us with tonight's finger-licking good edition of "excellence in reporting." >> as you know, hillary clinton says that trump's campaign is appealing to a fringe in the republican party that is racist. i want to listen to part of her speech with y your reaction. here it is. >> sure. >> i am the extra crispy colonel and my extra crispy five-dollar fillup is a tasty -- >> absolutely not, we were going to play -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but definitely what you did play. why that is even cued up? someone in the booth
11:43 pm
button and that popped up. the first debate is less than a month away. donald trump, according to his campaign manager, is not preparing for the debates in the traditional way. trump doesn't really do preparing, he lives in the moment. half the time even he doesn't know what he's saying. it's called keeping it fresh and i suggest you try it for yourselves at home. i've been preparing too. since i'm running for vice president, i will be -- since i'm the only one running i will be debating myself. one of the topics i plan to hammer myself on is jobs. as your i'm not just going to create jobs, i'm going to make the job you already have better. and i'm going to do that by raising awareness. to help improve conditions for everyone, i've been polling the american people, asking you to share what you hate about your job. we started with nurses. we asked them what they hate about their job. tonight we will hear from restaurant servers, waiters, waitresses, whatever you want to call them. tell us what you hate about your jobs? this is just a tiny fraction of
11:44 pm
>> what i hate about being a server is when parents order food for their 13-year-old kid who is completely capable but is just too busy being on their cell phone. you're raising an idiot. >> what i hate about serving is the old. or. use your words. >> what i hate about being a waiter is the extra side of ranch, the extra side of ranch, the extra side of ranch, the extra side of ranch, and don't forget the extra side of ranch. >> for anyone who doesn't know, guacamole is a dollar extra. >> what i hate about waiting tables when is you ask people if they want bacon or sausage and they respond with bacon because they can't have pork. that really happens. a lot. >> what i hate about serving is when people come in with dietary restrictions and expect me to know everything about it. lady, i'm wearing a flowered shirt, do i look like i'm a dietician, doctor or nutrition snis. >> i hate when customers make a
11:45 pm
menu, then for debetter order a piece of cake and say, i can have a little bit of gluten. >> you're not allergic to glusn, you're just obnoxious. >> dollar tip. yeah that's going to fill my gas tank. >> compliments don't pay for my gas. >> getting tips that aren't money. i recently got tipped condoms. so that was super annoying. if i want condoms i'll buy them. with my tip money. >> what's up, jim kim? what i hate about waiting tables now is that i'm also be a photographer. that's a whole other profession. >> campers. you're going to sit at my table four hours? we've me 20 bucks an hour. that's how we make our money. >> when you work at a pizza place and you take a table pizza and they ask, do you have ketchup? >> when a girl thinks you're trying to steal her man so she stiffs you on the tip. all i'm trying to do is my job and it's called hospitality. >> when a guy reaches a number
11:46 pm
tip. >> i hate when a guy doesn't leave a tip on his receipt but leaves his phone number instead. thanks. i'm going to call you. and threaten you. >> i hate the constant lears i get at this sexy body. i would show you but i'm not wearing pants. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, thank you, guys, for participating. next, school's back in session. next i'd like to hear from teachers. what don't you like about being teachers? tell us about the a students, parents, faculty lounges, whatever bugs you about teaching. teach it to us, record yourself, keep it brief. if you need to wear a mask, go ahead and do it. post it to youtube with #whatihate in the title so we can find and it keep an eye out for a message from us to our youtube account. when we come back i'll tell you all about britney, beyonce, kanye was fantastic once again at last night's vmas. i'll share that all when we come back.
11:47 pm
? and everyday expenses? aflac! pay at
11:48 pm
11:49 pm
to those caked in flour... coated in dust... even covered in lava. to all the beautiful mess makers. keep it up... with delta touch2o technology, you can. see what delta can do. i tried hard to quit smoking. but when we brought our daughter home, that was it. now i have nicoderm cq. the nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release technology helps prevent your urge to smoke all day.
11:50 pm
11:51 pm
>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. music from bonnie raitt is on the way. first a happy belated go topless day. yesterday, in know, was go topless day where women were encouraged to go topless to raise awareness for gender equality and women's rights what are a trick this is, huh? thousands of women around the world took part. which sounds great but what really this is is the sun block industry's way of making a couple extra dollars before summer is over. if you're looking for a way to get guys interested in feminism, this is definitely the way to do it. so well done. this is good. stevie wonder was at a
11:52 pm
l.a. this weekend. someone for whatever reason invited him to shoot a free throw. and, well, here's how that went. you made it! why didn't they tell him he made it? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: i would have. i would have let that cheer. still got closer than shaq most of the time. elsewhere in the world of music, last night from madison s music awards. beyonce won eight vmas which i think is all of them. she had a concert. 16-minute concert. kanye west then followed with a 16-minute t.e.d. talk. here's kanye introducing his new music video as only kanye can. >> i am kanye west. i came here to present my new
11:53 pm
but before i do that, ima talk. >> jimmy: can you just play the video? that would be fine. anyway, he did talk and along the way he came up with a list of his role models. a list that included him. >> it's three keys to keeping people impoverished. that's taking away their esteem. taking away their resources. taking away their role models. my role merchants. less than ten that i can name in history. truman. ford. hughes. disney. jobs. west. >> jimmy: probably meant jerry west, right? mae west? adam west, perhaps this but the rant went on for a while. the mtv audience, they're young, they're 16, they're pregnant, they don't have the attention
11:54 pm
[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] if i can make a suggestion to kanye, next time you give us a long speech in front of a young audience, do it after sucking on a helium balloon so it sounds like this. [ high-pitched voice speaking ] >> this is fame, bro! like -- i see you. >> jimmy: that's the amber alert. the big highlight of the night according to everyone was beyonce who did a medley from her album "lemonade" that everybody was raving about. everybody loved it with the exception of kim and kanye who were backstage on their phones through the whole thing. i guess the pokemon aren't going to catch themselves. britney spears also performed last night. she's getting a lot of criticism today for lip synching her performance. i don't know if she was. but seemed like she was.
11:55 pm
but it is a serious issue. i know a lot of people will say it don't matter, it's just a silly performance. [ jimmy is lip synching ] >> jimmy: i disagree. too often in life we're fed lies and illusions and eventually you come to accept this as normal. thanks for bringing that glass of water before i asked for it. when truth becomes indistinguishable from lies, in a way we are condemned to wander in a world without reference points where those with the power to decide our experience rule our lives. when we let the small lies slide, it's only a matter of time before we sacrifice what's most important in life, the truth. don't you agree, guillermo? >> guillermo: truth, jimmy. we have to take a break. tonight on the show, music from bonnie raitt and we'll be right
11:56 pm
[ cheers and applause ] ? >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by
11:57 pm
unlike ordinary diapers, pampers stay up to three times drier, so babies can sleep soundly all night.
11:58 pm
11:59 pm
december last year. 14 americans are killed in a mass shooting inspired by isis. in the aftermath, congressman joe heck had the chance to ban suspected terrorists from buying guns. heck voted "no." 23 times. individuals on the fbi terror watch list
12:00 am
it's not just that joe heck does nothing to stop them. it's that he's voted to let them keep doing it.... 23 times. senate majority pac is responsible for the content
12:01 am
>> jimmy: tonight, they let him out of the situation room in washington, d.c. wolf blitzer is here with us from cnn. [ cheers and applause ] then this is her latest album, it's called "dig in deep." the great bonnie raitt from the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night we have a fun show. zooey deschanel and ben stein, music from glass animals. aaron eckhart, cat deeley, casey wilson, and music from nathaniel rateliff and the night sweats, and yg. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is an academy award-nominated actor who stars on the most popular show about a family of lions since simba and mufasa. "empire" returns to fox september 21st. please welcome terrence howard!
12:02 am
>> jimmy: how you doing? >> i'm all right. >> jimmy: good to see you. last time you were here a few years ago, you had just become a grandfather. >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: and recently you just had another child. you're a dad again. >> again. [ cheers and applause ] my granddaughter hazel, who's 3 years old, she kiran "uncle baby." >> jimmy: uncle baby. yeah, an uncle baby. i like uncle baby. because he's her uncle. >> he's her uncle but he's two years younger than her. and now i've got a new baby. >> jimmy: you may be in the situation at some point where your grandchildren are babysitting your children. >> yeah. that [ bleep ] happens. i think the sun is going to rise in the west next week and the
12:03 am
itself anyway. >> jimmy: let's hope not that could potentially be disastrous. you have a lot of interests. i know you -- last time you were here, you were talking about manufacturing diamonds, making diamonds. >> yes. >> jimmy: where are those diamonds? you told me you were going to bring me diamonds. >> i was but the company merged with another company -- >> jimmy: oh, the merger. i want a sack of diamonds next time you come. in the meantime you're interested in numerology? >> yeah, i like the number 9 right now. the was no number greater than the number 9. if they had 25 they'd aufrd the 2 and 5 and it would be 7. turns out all nature moves with the number 9. so every ninth year, something amazing happens in your year. you're either contracting or expanding. so 9 is the number -- >> jimmy: hold on a minute, we've got to go back a couple of things. by contracting or expanding, losing weight? what tumdo you mean?
12:04 am
thing. no, you're contracting or expanding. number 9 is the greatest number that there is because that's the number of balance. if you look at when you were 18, something big happened. when you were 27, when you were 36, when you were 45. all of these are big milestones in which you can accomplish anything in the universe. and this has been what has been thought for the last 6,000 years. >> jimmy: what about in the non-9 years? should we just wait around and not try anything? what about 1hr do we just hang back? >> no, no. you got to stay busy. but at the 9th year, you can accomplish a lot. >> jimmy: really? you really believe that? for everybody? >> for everything. this is what -- nikola tesla said, if mankind knew the magnificent of 3, 6 and 9, he would have the key to the secrets of the universe. an understanding that he used it to unlock all of the secrets and that's how all of his technology was based on. >> jimmy: on 3, 6, 9? >> 3, 6 and 9.
12:05 am
>> jimmy: which is better, 3 or 6? >> 69 is much better. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and that's how your little baby was born. [ laughter ] this is a picture of my son hero. he was born like seven weeks early, right? so we're inside of the nicu. this is the day that they came around handing out circumcision like it was popsicles. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> you want baby? no, my baby weighs 2 pounds. no, actually 5 pounds 11 ounces when he was born. but that was the day i put him on my chest and was like, i'm going to hold him till these crazy people walk by. and my wife told me, you should do skin to skin. that was great. >> jimmy: they say that, it makes -- the baby attaches to you. >> my baby tried to attach to me, he started looking for the nipple. >> jimmy: right. >> this is what i'm mad about
12:06 am
they do not tell you when you get to be about 45, don't worry about the boob thing because you're going to grow your own. and i was a boob man until i started growing my own. [ laughter ] so you go through this whole thing about, let me diet. let me try something. >> jimmy: are you dieting? >> yeah, i've been watching "naked and afraid." [ laughter ] y'all watch it too. you know these people are crazy. >> jimmy: right. >> because they don't get paid. all they get is a psr nu to stand naked in the mirror every day until i'm no longer afraid to leave the mirror. >> jimmy: wow. you've created a new diet. >> it works. it actually works are. i realize the larger your boobs get as a ma sensitive you've become. >> jimmy: really? >> i remember when you were sensitive, jimmy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: those are very special
12:07 am
speaking of, by the way, hero. named after the sandwich? >> no. no, he was named because we were going to name him a girl, we thought he was a girl the first three months. it was going to be hiro. when it was a boy we said, he-ro, hero. >> jimmy: that's a lot of pressure. >> that's 8 pounds after just five weeks. >> adorable. [ cheers and applause ] there is a lot of pressure when you name a kid hero. let's see, under a car or something. go get him, hero! you know? he's got to be the one to do all that kind of stuff. >> i think he will. he's a powerful little baby. he doesn't cry except when you change his diaper. he doesn't like being exposed. >> jimmy: right. you did not circumcise him? >> hell, no. they don't circumcise girls. >> that's true. >> why are they doing that to men? >> jimmy: we're not sure really exactly why it's happening. but it does happen.
12:08 am
>> jimmy: a lot of people feel that way. i kind of don't blame you. it's a weird moment where the kid gets carried off. >> yeah, i think if people want to get circumcised it should happen when they're a an adult and they can make the decision. >> jimmy: on reality television. >> yes. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: terrence howard is here, the show is called "empire." [ cheers and applause ] ? (whistling) ?put on that grin and start right in,? ?to whistle loud and long.? ?just hum a merry tune? (hum) ?come on get smart? ?tune up and start? ?to whistle while you work.? (whistle)
12:09 am
pearl-optics science fades the look of dark spots evens tone and hydrates skin for instant illumination. olay luminous ageless. poor mouth breather. allergies? stuffy nose? can't sleep? take that. a breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than allergy medicine alone. shut your mouth and say goodnight, mouthbreathers. breathe right. to the sticky... even those who get a little icky. to all the beautiful mess makers, keep it up... with delta in2ition plus h2okinetic, you can. see what delta can do. crabfest is on at red lobster so come dive into dishes like the new alaska bairdi crab dinner with sweet crab from the icy waters of alaska. or try crab lover's dream with tender snow and king crab legs. love crab?
12:10 am
? we would dream about racing each other, in monaco. ? we were born brothers. competition made us friends. wish bold in the 2017 camry.
12:11 am
alright, how's this for a tv show. ook by night. also, his name is sous. no. sloppy joseph. a middle-aged man who's trying to get his life together, but he can't - he's to sloppy. huhhh - no! here you go. i got this. i get cash back so it's like everything's on sale. with the blue cash everyday card from american express you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. everything's on sale! a home shopping show takes place on a sailboat. that's the one! banana boat dessert on me. look at you being all lactose tolerant. it's more than cash back.
12:12 am
12:13 am
12:14 am
>> jimmy: we are back with terrence howard. wolf blitzer and bonnie raitt are on the way. "empire," did you imagine the show would be unbelievably successful? >> i though the we were get canceled. the moment i put the little boy in a garbage can? i was like, they're going to cancel this. >> jimmy: did you say, hey, maybe this isn't a good idea? >> i told them, i think this is a little stringent. the fact that they had me calling me son, excuse me, [ bleep ], on-air. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> i thought that was going to be too much. but i think it was necessary for the world to actually see what's taking place inside of these families with children that are choosing alternate lifestyles and parents who are intolerant. and you need to make a change.
12:15 am
modern-day archie bunker in a sense on the though. >> jimmy: interesting. i think you're absolutely right about that too. [ cheers and applause ] talking about the number 9, talking about these different things you're involved with. you have a talent? or something you learned? or is this a trick? or what? >> when i was in third grade i didn't want to do homework. and i was told that if you were dyslexic you didn't have to turn homework in because they understood. i was write backwards. i didn't know they just wrote a few letters backwards. so i went home and started writing backwards. >> jimmy: you taught yourself to write backwards? >> with my right hand. my daddy, when the teachers found out about it, told my daddy. my daddy made me do my homework backwards with my left hand. >> jimmy: that's an interesting punishment. >> yes. >> jimmy: how long did you have to do this? >> for like probably about two weeks. >> jimmy: uh-huh.
12:16 am
little skill. >> jimmy: now you've learned how to do it. i thought it might be fun to do it. i wonder, what -- can you write anything? >> anything. >> jimmy: anything you can write, okay. >> anything you can write. >> jimmy: so -- hm, okay. how about the lyrics to the lionel ritchie song "penny lover"? do you know the lyrics? >> no. >> jimmy: i'll tell you what they are. okay. penny lover don't you walk on by. >> penny lover. >> jimmy: what do you think of the name emmett for a baby? [ laughter ] >> i like that. i wouldn't name my child emmett. [ applause ] >> jimmy: would you walk on by -- don't you walk on by. >> don't you walk on by. >> jimmy: right now i'm looking at it, looks like hieroglyphics. >> let me switch. >> jimmy: okay. then -- penny lover don't you
12:17 am
that's it, right? >> cleto: that's it. >> penny lovers will make anybody cry. lovers. don't you make me cry. >> jimmy: yeah. >> nobody likes somebody cheap. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. i think her name's penny is really what it is. >> make me cry. >> jimmy: okay. all right. now you've got to put it in front of the white board. >> this is it backwards. right? now let's flip it. >> jimmy: right and >> right and left-handed. >> jimmy: penny lover don't you walk on by. penny lover don't you make me cry. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's pretty amazing. >> what's funny, what i found, is when you write with the left hand or with the right hand, the writing is quite different but also the thinking is quite different. when you write forwards it's quite different. so when you switch from left to right hand, your brain reverses its chemistry. but then when you write
12:18 am
really bring up four parts of your personality. >> jimmy: this is unbelievable. you could have been a teacher at trump university with this kind of stuff. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> he's actually a student. >> jimmy: terrence howard, everybody. "empire" returns wednesday september 21st on fox. we'll be right back with wolf blitzer. [ cheers and applause ] ? ? (crickets chirping) ? (jet engine) (heart beat) ? (water splashing) (rain drops) (engine revving) (tires on wet road) ? [ school bell ringing ] one day, ms. jenkins told us to make whatever we wanted with crayons. whatever we wanted.
12:19 am
and houses, offices, and a whole neighborhood. turns out, you can do anything with crayons! buy one take one is back at olive garden choose one delicious entr?e at our place and another for yours starting at $12.99
12:20 am
rden ? (humming) ? so you're up at dawn, ? ? k, , look alive. ? ? you've been saving for a big man-cave. ? ? you made the most of your retirement plan, ? ? so you better learn to drive that rv, man.? ? so many things you're doing in your life. ? ? ? nationwide is on your side. ? hey there. hi, i'm looking for a deal on an iphone... ...i was thinking, something along these lines. oh, okay.
12:21 am
is this you with a dinosaur body? it's just me with happy hands... it just means i'll take it. right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. ? whatcha got there? new cheez-it sandwich crackers made with real cheese ummmm....sammiches sandwich with a d sammich... sandwich sammich sammich see!!! ahahaha!
12:22 am
ture, in our new cheez-it sandwich crackers. sammiches... in a world that's trying to turn you into someone new... hair color wants to help you keep on being you. nice'n easy. natural-looking color... ...that even in sunlight, doesn't look like hair color... it just looks like you.
12:23 am
>> jimmy: oh, look at that. we made a love connection here tonight. still to come, we have music from bonnie raitt. our next guest has devoted his life to bringing us the latest news ever since he was a young teen wolf in buffalo, new york. "the situation room with wolf blitzer" is on weekdays on cnn, please welcome wolf blitzer. [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: how are you? you did your show a few blocks
12:24 am
>> i'm in "the situation room." >> jimmy: it moves wherever you are? >> whatever room i'm in, there's a situation. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: does that mean this is a situation room right now? >> i'm wolf blitzer and you're in the situation room. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're on vacation? just finished vacation? >> i just finished two weeks of vacation and i came back to "the situation room" today. it was very exciting. >> is it hard to get back into it after vacation? >> no. >> like riding a bike, you never forget. >> jimmy: when you're off do you pay attention to the news? >> yes. >> jimmy: do you give it a rest? >> i'm a news junkie. i pay attention to all the news no matter where i am, what i'm doing. >> jimmy: what is your home page? >> [ laughter ] >> jimmy: >> love don't you? >> jimmy: it is my home page, actually, it is. >> [ applause ] >> jimmy: you love all this stuff. ever get upset? i was away and i missed
12:25 am
there's a big huge story that breaks and i miss it, it really makes me a little crazy. for example, and i just want to be honest with you, when the big story broke last week and i was off, i was on vacation, and you had it. hillary clinton and the pickle jar. i missed that story. >> jimmy: yeah, that was big. >> that was huge. major. got a lot of commotion. >> jimmy: they're saying it was the biggest story about pickles this century. [ laughter ] >> it was a great story, great story. >> reporter: how would you have handled that story? >> i would have covered it the way you covered it. followed up, got the reaction, tried to come to the bottom of it. did you fake that story? >> jimmy: i did not fake the pickles. in fact, i'll tell you this, it would have been my dream that she was not able to open the pickle jar, because it would have been funny to not be able to open the pickle jar. but never am my mildest imaginationdy believe it would become some big deal.
12:26 am
>> jimmy: there was no pop but also you have to remember something, you have to get very close to something. if i have a barbie doll i have to put it up to my tie. i have a pickle jar here if you want to -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you are the most trusted man in news. i don't know how you can verify. i guess you can feel whether it has been opened? >> lasik. december 31st, 2017, so it's relatively new. >> jimmy: relatively new. we b store so it might not be as fresh. >> you want me to try to open it? >> jimmy: if you care to, go ahead. >> this is the same kind of jar she opened? >> jimmy: the identical jar -- same brand i mean, same size. she opened it very slowly also which i think is why people think something was weird. but she opened it very slowly, so maybe the gas escaped at a slower rate. you go crazy and tell me what you think. >> ready? >> jimmy: you're going to be part of the conspiracy now, you realize that. >> i'm going to do my best. >> jimmy: alex jones is going to
12:27 am
>> let's see what happens. >> jimmy: here we go. here it is. wolf blitzer. oh, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there was a pop. >> i heard the pop. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i heard it too. i don't know if we heard it on tv. but the internet will absolutely let us know. >> i definitely heard the pop. >> jimmy: you know the nice thing about pickles is not only can you eat them, they can also be used as a cologne. congratulations. i know we have a lot of baby pictures on the show tonight. you have a grandson now. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> rubin daniel snyder. >> jimmy: rubin, another sandwich-themed child. >> ruben. he's adorable. >> jimmy: did you encourage them to name -- >> no, we did not know the name until we showed aunt the hospital the night ruben was born. >> jimmy: wouldn't it be wonderful to have a baby wolf running around? wouldn't that be something that would make you so tickled?
12:28 am
>> jimmy: it would not? do you feel your name has been a burden to you? >> growing up in buffalo, new york, occasionally teachers wouldn't believe it's my real name. >> jimmy: right. >> what's your real name? i'd say, wolf. which it is my real name. and they would say, go to the principal. >> jimmy: you would bite them? [ laughter ] >> sometimes the kids made fun of it. >> jimmy: yes. >> but it's my real name. >> jimmy: of course it's your real name. who would change their name to wolf? >> yeah, i know. >> jimmy: by the way, i know you know this. people may not know that you my father have a striking resemblance. >> he's a very nice guy. >> jimmy: thank you. and my dad's in the audience right now. look at my dad next to wolf. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: face the camera. he's upset that you change d. pretty good, right? [ cheers and applause ] >> very handsome guy. >> jimmy: that's what he says about you. >> little gray coming in. >> jimmy: i do have some gray
12:29 am
i got a picture of you meeting the pope. and i framed it. i just hung it in my parents' house. to see if anybody like really noticed. so far nobody has commented on it. you'd think they'd go, jim, you met the pope? or, why is wolf blitzer on your wall with the pope? but it hasn't caused any commotion in the house at all. >> it was an exciting moment in my career. >> jimmy: this has been a crazy election obviously. you're sick of talking about it? >> no. >> jimmy: you're not? you are sick of talking about it? >> i love politics. >> jimmy: it has been s but i have to say, of the many great moments on television, this to me, the moments we've assembled here, are among the greatest of this election cycle and it involves you. >> this is all a game. when we do, jake, we're going to have a lot of enthusiasm -- >> wolf, wolf. >> i'm sorry. do you have confidence -- >> jake, all i can tell you is you're asking the questions -- >> wolf. >> you're asking me questions, what do i know? thank you, wolf.
12:30 am
>> all right. you look a little like him. >> thanks for joining us. >> jimmy: well, that was weird. jake tapper's a handsome guy. >> very handsome guy, nice guy. i don't look at all like jake tapper. >> jimmy: you don't. >> he got a little confused. >> jimmy: at that point do you go, maybe this guy's not with it? >> i didn't correct him the first time. i'm trying to be polite. >> jimmy: right. >> bernie sanders. he's bernie sanders. but the second time i said, wolf. and he said, oh, yeah, but then the third or the fourth time, he still kept calling me jake. i was like, okay. >> jimmy: it's great to see you, jake. >> he's a very nice guy. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. are you going to be here all week? >> no. heading back. >> jimmy: i don't know if you need a day off someday, plug my dad into "the situation room" and see if anybody notices. you know? >> let's see how he does. >> jimmy: we'll see how he does. >> if he can do a "happening now," let's see how he says that. >> jimmy: i don't think he can
12:31 am
"the situation room with wolf blitzer" weekdays on cnn. be right back with bonnie raitt! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by
12:32 am
i'm catherine cortez masto and i approve this message. as a doctor, i see how decisions in washington impact my patients here in nevada. so even though i'm a republican, i won't be voting for joe heck. joe heck's voted ten times defund planned parenthood, which thousands of women depend on for cancer screenings. and heck opposes a woman's right to choose even when her health is at risk. for me and my patients,
12:33 am
>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank all my guests. i apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. first, her album is called "dig in deep." here with the song "need you tonight," bonnie raitt! ? ? ? ? ? all you got
12:34 am
twenty-first century's yesterday ? ? care all you wanna baby everybody does yeah ? ? that's okay so slide over here and give me a moment your moves are so raw ? ? i've got to let you know i've got to let you kn ? you're one of my kind ? ? ? ? ? i need you tonight 'cause i'm not sleeping something about you boy that makes me sweat ? ? how do you feel i'm lonely what do you think
12:35 am
? whatcha gonna do gonna live my life oh yeah ? ? ? ? ?
12:36 am
? i need you tonight 'cause i'm not sleeping something about you boy that makes me sweat ? ? how do you feel i'm lonely ? ? what do you think can't think at all ? ? what you gonna do gonna live my life ?
12:37 am
this is "nightline." >> tonight, sext machine. top hillary clinton made huma abadeen leaving her husband anthony weiner for allegedly sexting again. donald trump accusing them of bad judgment. what this means for her campaign. >> d down on the streets of chicago while pushing a baby in a stroller. >> i'm frustrated, you should be frustrated, all chicago should be from us cha be frustrated. >> a city under siege from repeat offenders. >> i'm leaving chicago the first chance i get. it's not safe. >> how police are fighting back against growing gun violence. ? >> a blank space at the vmas. a night of epic performances and sizzling after parties.


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on