tv Democracy Now LINKTV September 9, 2013 8:00am-9:01am PDT
joanne: infancy is a truly unique and wondrous time of life. those of us who work with babies are able to enjoy the rapid growth that occurs during the child's earliest years and form deep, affectionate bonds with each baby in our care-- bonds that we now know can impact a child for life. but sometimes, caring for infants and toddlers in a group setting can be demanding and difficult. how do we know when we are doing the right thing with our infants and toddlers? what if a baby won't stop crying? what if a toddler refuses to put on her jacket? and what about those magnificent temper tantrums for which 2-year-olds are so famous?
hello. i'm joanne hendrick, the author of the whole child and your guide to this video series. in this program, we're going to look at some of the important components that go into providing consistent, one-on-one relationships with infants and toddlers in group settings. we'll observe some infant and toddler programs in private child-care centers, university lab schools, and family day-care homes, and we'll hear from infant and toddler teachers who offer practical advice for working with our youngest children. ready? go! joanne: despite the growing need for infant day care, most of us begin our caregiving careers with very little or no training
when it comes to taking care of babies. >> all of that and more coming up. this is democracy now!, democracynow.org, the war and peace report. i'm amy goodman. the obama administration is expanding its push for congressional authorization to bomb syria as lawmakers return from the summer recess. president obama will give interviews to 60 for u.s. networks today ahead of an address to the nation on tuesday night. speaking on "meet the press," white house chief of staff emphasized the administration's new focus linking an attack on syria to stopping the proliferation of chemical weapons. is what it does. it degrades its capacity to use them again and make something twice before he uses these
dastardly weapons again. if he's going to use these things more aggressively, he will take them out of secure storage, push them into the frontline, and you know what that means? there are greater risks of them being proliferated. >> the congressional debate on whether to approve a syria attack begins today. a series of tally shows the obama administration faces an uphill battle in its bid for authorization. according to usa today, just 44 of 500 33 congress members have pledged to vote in favor of military action. the white house effort in washington comes after president obama's failed attempt to drum up support of the g 20 summit in russia last week all stop secretary of state john kerry said the administration has not ruled out a return to the un security council after inspectors complete the report on last month's attack in ghouta. >> the president and all of us listing carefully to all of our friends, no decision has been made by the president. we will take this under advisement.
i am sure the president will make his decision at the appropriate time. >> john kerry spoke after meeting with foreign ministers from the arab league, including saudi arabia, which kerry says has endorsed a military strike. earlier today in london, kerry said syrian president bashar al- assad and avoid a military attack if he hands over his entire chemical weapons stockpile within the week. >> he could turn over every single bit of this chemical weapons to the international community in the next week. turn it over, all of it. without delay. it would allow a full and total accounting for that. but he isn't about to do it. it can be done, obviously. >> as part of its lobbying bed, the obama administration has released a new graphic video showing the aftermath of the ghouta attack all stop the footage compiles clips that were uploaded to youtube. shown to the senate
intelligence committee last week and are now being handed out to members of congress. in the unitednue states against a military strike on syria. on saturday, a few hundred demonstrators gathered outside the white house. peace is peace, not war. on the question of the chemical weapons, this hasn't been proven. the u.n. inspectors are still doing their job. >> the messages, i'm totally against another military intervention by our government. all of the resources of our country should be put into the needs of the people of our country. health care for everyone, public education for everyone, quality education. the latest polls show 56% of americans remain opposed to 19% are strike, while in favor. scores of demonstrators also marched in los angeles on saturday. >> i have family living there.
have people in old damascus [indiscernible] >> am pleased to be here today because it is a very broad coalition. we got all the communities represented here from the middle east, mexico, latin america, the black community. is very broad. i think it is important that we all forget our differences and come together to stop this war. u.s.rotests against military action in syria also continue globally. on saturday, an estimated crowd filled 100,000 people the vatican's st. peter's square for peace vigil. addressing the crowd, pro- princes cold war "a defeat for humanity." underreport of germany claims bashar al-assad may not have
personally authorized the apparent vocal attack in ghouta. citing unnamed sources from german intelligence, a newspaper says members of the armed forces have committed the attack without assad hot permission. intercepted radio messages show he is repeatedly turned down requests to use chemical weapons. earlier today in london, secretary of state john kerry rejected any distinction in command of between al-saud members of his regime. thender any circumstances, assad regime is the assad regime. and the regime issues orders and regime that level have been caught giving these instructions and engaging in these preparations with results to presidenty assad.
and we are aware of that. so we have no issue about the question here of responsibility. there is none. the al-assad regime is the al- assad regime. >> in an interview airing today, al-assad issued a new denial saying "there has been no evidence that i used chemical weapons against my own people." a u.s. drone strike in afghanistan has killed up to 16 people, including as many as 12 civilians. the attack came in the province of kunar. the u.s.-led nato occupation force reportedly bombed i a truck carrying women and children. on sunday, four afghan officers were killed and dozens of civilians were killed when a taliban fighter hidden intelligence compound in war deck province. the latest disclosures from edward snowden show the u.s. has used the nsa to spy on brazil's state-run oil company. results biggest television network reports that the company
was among a group of companies targeted by the nsa, including google, for undisclosed reasons. the nsa apparently tapped into petra bross internal communications network. the news of more nsa spying a brazil comes one week after it emerged that the u.s. has spied on the phone calls and e-mails a brazilian president dilma rousseff and mexican president enrique peña nieto. the revelations have sparked a diplomatic are poor and threatened a planned trip by recess to the u.s. next month. in russia, she said she raised her concerns directly with president obama and added her visit to the u.s. will depend on how obama responds. >> president obama read are rated they wanted to re-create the political divisions of my trip to the u.s. and he knew this to plans on adopting measures with what the brazilian government requires. he reiterated this really to me so my trip to the u.s. depends
on political conditions. communications said "all of the explanations that have been given to us from the beginning have proven to be false." in an interview with the hindu newspaper, former brazilian president da silva criticized the nsa spy program and said president obama should "personally apologize to the world." and another new leaks from edward snowden, the german magazine der spiegel reports the nsa has developed the ability to tap into all the major smartphone models, including iphones, androids, and blackberries. thousands of people rallied in mexico city on sunday against the mexicans plant -- mexican government's plan to overhaul the country's energy sector. mexican president enrique peña nieto is pushing an effort to open the state-controlled oil company to investment from foreign multinationals. addressing the crowd, the former mexico city mayor accused
enrique peña nieto of backing privatization. to finallygoing destroy the national enterprise. that is why we can't dismiss the participation of all citizens from all social classes, because this is a punch against mexico, against the majority of mexican people. >> the protest in mexico comes as enrique peña nieto also faces a teachers strike against his education plan. australia has elected a new prime minister from the right wing liberal party after six years of governance by the more centrist labor. prime minister elect tony abbott has pledged to cut back foreign aid, undue measures to reduce emissions of greenhouse gases, and crackdown on asylum seekers trying to reach australian shores. a chinese journalist who was imprisoned after the internet giant yahoo worked with the chinese government has been released after over eight years behind bars. shi tao was arrested in 2004 for
e-mailing a government document massacre.where he was jailed after yahoo turned over his account information to chinese authorities. yahoo! later reached a settlement with his family. front of gathered in the white house friday for the force-feeding of an activist who has been on hunger strike for over two months. has staged the fast in solidarity with hunger strikes at guantánamo bay, which is ongoing in the california prison system, which ended just last week. on friday, he was force fed through a nasal tube as demonstrators looked on. he urged president obama to either release guantánamo bay prisoners were and their force- feeding. a death row prisoner in arizona has been released on bail after winning a new trial. deborah milk has been over 22 years behind bars after being convicted of ordering the murder of her four-year-old son. she was freed friday after it
emerged prosecutors failed to disclose a key witness in her trial. a police officer had a history of misconduct and lying under oath. naacp president been jealous has announced plans to step down at the end of the year. he became the naacp's youngest ever president what he took the helm five years ago at the age of 35. he says he is living in order to spend more time with his family and to become an educator for use. those are some of the headlines. this is democracy now!, democracynow.org, the war and peace report. i'm amy goodman. today we look at another september 11. it was 40 years ago this week, september 11, 1973, general augusto pinochet ousted chile's democratically elected president salvador allende in a u.s.- backed military coup. the two began a 17-your repressive dictatorship in which more than 3000 chileans were killed. rise tot -- pinochet's
power was back by then president richard nixon and his secretary of state national security guys are henry kissinger. there's a secret memo -- that same year, president nixon ordered the cia to "make the economy scream" in chile to "prevent allende from coming to power or unseat him." after the 1973 coup, general pinochet remained a close u.s. ally. he was defeated in a 1988 referendum and left office in 1990. in 19 98, pinochet was arrested in london on torture and genocide charges on award issued by a spanish judge.
risch authorities later released pinochet after doctors ruled him physically and mentally unfit to stand trial. judges issuedle's a long-awaited apology to the relatives of loved ones who went missing or were executed during pinochet's dictatorship. this is the judge. consider it necessary. we understand for some citizens, it is too late, but nothing will ever be too late to react to what may happen in the future. >> the relatives of some victims have rejected the belated apology, and called for further investigations into deaths and disappearances during the dictatorship. chilean president sebastian pinera said the country's courts had failed to uphold the constitution and basic rights. the judiciary did not rise to their obligations or challenges and could have done much more because the constitutional
mandate, it is their duty to protect the rights of the people, to protect their lives. for example, reconsidering the appeals which they have previously rejected is unconstitutional. >> on sunday, thousands of chileans took to the streets of santiago to mark the 40th anniversary of the military coup, and remember the thousands who disappeared during a brutal regime that followed. this is the president of the families of executed politicians group. since the civil military coup, the issue of human rights, the violations during the dictatorship are still current. this denial of justice. there are more than 1300 processes open for 40 years. continuing the search for those who are arrested, disappeared, were executed without the remains sent back. break theirey silence? >> last week the wife and two daughters of the legendary chilean folk singer víctor jara filed a civil lawsuit in u.s. court against the former military officer they say killed
jara almost exactly 40 years ago. death inra was shot to the midst of the 1973 u.s.- backed coup. first, his hands were smashed so he could no longer play the guitar. it is believed jara's accused killer has lived in the united states for roughly two decades and is now a u.s. citizen. jara's family is suing him under federal laws that allow u.s. courts to hear about human rights abuses committed abroad. last year, chilean prosecutors charged a very intense and another officer with jara's murder, naming six others as accomplices. today we will spend the hour with the loved ones of those who .ere killed after pinochet first we're joined by joan jara, the widow of chilean singer victor jara. she's the author of, "an unfinished song: the life of victor jara." we welcome you back to democracy now! >> thank you. >> it is great to have you here
in the studio as victims and those who have worked for justice in chile gather for this 40th anniversary of the september 11 two. talk about the lawsuit you have just filed. lawsuit, which is the central justice and accountability, it is a civil lawsuit. is not to receive [indiscernible] , because it doesn't help at all. it is to reinforce the extradition petition approved by the chilean supreme court and is now in the united states territory. somehow to support that and to appeal to public opinion here in the united states. we know there are many people
.ere in repeated visits, i've met so many friends who have condemned the coup on september 11, 1973. i appeal to all of the people who are listening to read the songs and for all of the victims of pinochet, to show support and toeal to your own government reply positively to this extradition request. >> after the break we will also be joined by her lawyer to talk more about the lawsuit. describe what happened on september 11, 1973. where were you? where was picture? >> we were both at home with our two daughters. there was somehow a who in the air. we had been fearing there would
be a military coup. on that morning together, victor and i listened to salvador allende's last speech and heard on the radio. one by one, they were pulled off the air and replaced by military marches. victor was going to his place of work where salvador allende was going to speak at 11:00. there.was to sing he went out that morning and it was the last time i saw him. and heard ofome the bombing of the palace. heard and saw the helicopters, machine guns firing over
allende's residence. and soon began the long wait for victor to come back home. >> and how long did you wait? >> i waited a week. really what had happened to him. i got a message from him from somebody who had been at the stadium with him. i wasn't sure what was really happening to him. but my fears were confirmed on september 11 -- i'm sorry, on the 18th of september, when the young man came to my house and said, please, i need to talk to you. i am a friend. i have been working in the city morgue. i'm afraid to tell you that victor's body has been recognized. he had a well-known face. and he said, you must come with
me and claim his body, otherwise, it will put him in a common grave and he will disappear. accompanied this young man to the city morgue. entrance. a side i saw literally hundreds of bodies that were piled up in what was actually the parking place of the morgue. i had to look for victor's body among a long line in the offices of the city morgue. him.ognized i saw what had happened to him. i saw the bullet wounds. i saw the state of his body. i consider myself one of the lucky ones in a sense that i had to face that moment of what had happened to victor and i could give my testimony and with all
the force of what i felt in that moment, not the horror, which is much worse, of never knowing what happened to her loved one. that happened to so many families, so many women who spent these 40 years looking for the loved ones who disappeared. >> because he was so well-known, there have been many stories about his death. some said because he was this famous folk singer, guitarist, his hands were cut off, other said they were smashed. what did you see? >> this is not true. mention does people thought it would help the -- the truth was bad enough, there is no need to invent more horror. victor's hands were not cut off. and i saw his body, they were hanging out a strange angle. i mean, his whole body was bruised and battered with bullet
, but i didn't touch his hands. it looked as if his wrists were broken. playedlong had victor guitar? how long had he been singing? >> since he was small. he didn't really learn to play the guitar until he was at a lesson, but his mama was a folk singer. >> how did you meet? >> we met in the university of chile. victor was a student. [indiscernible] i was a dancer but i also gave classes. that is how i met him. he was an excellent student. together later when i was recovering from when
i was ill and he heard i was ill, and he came to see me the bunch of flowers i think he took from the park because he was penniless. and you had two daughters together? >> not together. my first daughter was from my first husband, but she was very, very small when victor came to see us that day. maybe a year old. less than year old. she always felt that victor was her father. victor always felt she was her daughter -- sorry, i'm not used to speaking english. they were very, very close. >> and the hundreds of bodies you saw in this morgue. how many were identified? >> i can tell you that. this particular young man who
registry --e civil i don't know what you call it, he was overwhelmed with what he had to do. . can't tell you >> are you able to claim his body and bury him? >> i was one of the lucky ones because we were able to claim his body, that we had it taken immediately to the cemetery and inter it. funeral.ld be no after that, i had to go home and tell my daughters what had happened. >> we are talking with joan victorhe widow of jara. we will continue with her as well as her lawyer. she is just brought suit against the man she believes was responsible for his murder, among others. we will also be joined by joyce horman, another widow of the
coup. her husband, charles horman, american freelance journalist, was also disappeared and killed during the coup. this is democracy now!, democracynow.org, the war and peace report. i'm amy goodman. it has been 40 years since the september 11, 1973 coup that overthrew the first democratically elected leader of salvador allende. stay with us. ♪ [music break]
joanne hendrick: isn't it wonderful when our day begins with such cheerful smiles and happy faces? and don't we wish it could always be like this? but in order for that to happen, we must remember thatt takes a lot of patience combined with good judgment and warm, nurturing relationships to raise emotionally healthy, comfortable, and cheerful children. of course, some days are going to be better than others and some even worse. it's just a fact. no matter what we do, children are still going to feel sad, afraid, anxious, and angry from time to time. it's all part of growing up and learning to cope with their feelings.
hello. i'm joanne hendrick, the author of the whole child and your host for this series. on this program, our focus is emotional health, and our challenge is to learn how to help children cope with their feelings and express them in socially acceptable ways-- ways that don't harm others and that are appropriate to the child's age and abilities-- ways that contribute to building the child's emotional health. [child crying] hendrick: we don't have to be psychiatrists to foster mental health in children... or in anyone else, for that matter. what it's really about is relationships.
give me another kiss. give her a kiss. bye-bye. mama's going to come back later, ok? say "bye, ma." ok. shh. is that mama's car, or did she park in the parking lot? i think she already went to work. yeah. hendrick: genes and their contribution to temperament are important, too, but we can't do anything about them, so we might as well concentrate on what we can do something about, and that's the relationship between us and the children we care for. why do you think that is so important? are your tears all gone? yeah. ok. come on. teacher: you're going to make a picture for mommy? ok. come on. i'll sit with you. here. we'll use this piece of paper. you're going to take care of her for me, jacqueline? do you want to see if she wants to make a picture with you? here. what picture would you like to do? you're just being shy today, aren't you?
hendrick: without trust, it's impossible to feel safe or close or comfortable with someone. teacher: who do you think is going to show up next? come here, baby. zack, come on. oh! ho ho! yay! look at you. hendrick: our need to experience trust and have it reaffirmed remains with us throughout our lives, but the basic balance between trust and mistrust is tipped very early in favor of one attitude or the other. zack, i'm so proud of you. what a big boy you are. uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. [crying] oh. hendrick: trust has its roots in infancy when babies gain confidence that they can depend on the grownups around them to meet their basic needs. [crying]
hendrick: that's why demand feeding is so important. the baby finds out that when he's feeling miserable, he can count on someone to help him feel better without having to wait an eternity for warmth and comfort. you're frightened, huh? it's ok. are you getting hungry? ok. hendrick: from a baby's perspective, reasonably prompt and consistent care is an essential ingredient in developing trust. babies wonder...when we are hungry, can we count on someone to feed us? [crying] woman: you're scared. come here. it's ok. hendrick: when we are upset and start to cry, will someone be there to comfort us? oh...it's ok. hey, baby. hey, baby girl. hendrick: when we are wet, is someone there to change us? what are you smiling about, huh? hendrick: when the answer to these questions are yes, babies develop trust, confidence... confidence that others will help them when they need help
and trust in themselves, as well-- confidence they can get what they want when they need it. this helps them feel valued and important. there we go, huh? although the need to experience trust begins in infancy, it remains with us all our lives, so the next thing to think about is how we can maintain that wonderful, trustful feeling as children continue to grow. what can we do to help build trust in our children? what kind of opportunities do you think we can provide? one of the easiest ways to build trust is by maintaining an orderly routine to the day so the children can predict what's going to happen next. consistent rules and policies that children understand also adds to their sense of trust, and the same thing goes for our behavior. thank you, baby. i don't want to go potty. i don't want to wash my hands. look. you need to wash your hands, ok?
do you want someone to help you? hendrick: predictability is the key. when we maintain our self-control and don't fly off the handle too readily, we encourage the children to trust us. the children can predict what our responses will be, and this breeds confidence in the relationship and keeps them from feeling too anxious. teacher: i just told you. this is it. teacher: no. it's all gone. thank you, big girl, for being my good listener. thank you. teacher: stevie jay, books are for reading. do you remember? girl: this one. teacher: ok. just one moment. hendrick: what else do you think would work? children will feel more confident with us if they know we don't expect too much or too little from them. it's so important to remember that rules and tasks should be appropriate for the child's age and abilities. for example, with 2-year-olds, it's best to stick to simple rules and immediate consequences and save those longer discussions and multiple choices
to use with the 4s and 5s. clean up. right. clean up, please. teacher, voice-over: when the children come into school, they need the sense of security that a routine gives them. they know they're going to have snack next and then it will be their chance to choose their own toys and then it will be group time. i think one of the most important things i do to foster mental health is create a very warm and nurturing environment in my classroom. i feel one of my primary goals is to make the children stay very happy and for the children to, you know, have a very positive feeling about school. what do you need? we got to cook that cheese. cook it? teacher, voice-over: we like the children to come in, and they let me know what they need.
they let me know-- "i want to read a book today. i want to paint today." they're making their decisions. this is making them a healthy person. a child that has the opportunity to explore their environment, a child that has the opportunity to make mistakes and not be criticized for them, a child that has the opportunity to investigate, to label, to be creative... which is what we hope we offer. child: they're coming this way. yikes! good morning, miss marty. hi, buddy. give miss marty a hug. how are you? how's ryan coming along? really well. he's doing great. he had a real good day yesterday. very good. yes. right? and today we're talking about the color yellow. hendrick: there is one more kind of trust we must pay attention to. that's the trust that should exist between ourselves and the families of the children we care for. remember? what does the red say? i'll guide you. you have to wheel yourself.
ha ha ha! woman: you better follow me, girl. follow yvonne. hendrick: this connection, this bond, is vitally important for all the children but especially important for famies with children who have disabilities. we must never underestimate their special sensitivities and concerns. we must honor those feelings not only by being kind and encouraging, but also by being truthful about their child's abilities. child: i'm here. teacher: oh, hold on. don't come in front of the swing. child: i'm not in the front of the swing. teacher: excuse me. you're right in the front of the swing. let's go this way. this way, this way. girl: he's right in the front of the swing. hendrick: i really admire people who live with and teach 2-year-olds. 2-year-olds are so different from those smiley, cuddly infants and triumphant beginning walkers. suddenly the toddler is transformed into an assertive, willful 2-year-old.
we just have to remind ourselves that this drive toward independence and self-assertion is an important stage of emotional development. granted, living in the 2-year-old world of "mine" and "no" and "me do it" isn't easy. it takes a lot of patience to maintain limits when necessary and independence when that's possible. teacher: you're not ready yet, huh? no. well, i can wait a few minutes. you might miss snack, though. come on out withour power saw so i can see where your body is, ok? hendrick: it's like waing on a tightrope. you don't want to crush their spirits, but you don't want to live with a tyrant either. it's kind of a balancing act of avoiding confrontations when you can, insisting on doing things your way when that's necessary, and providing as many choices for the child to make as possible. put it up there. you decided. there you go. child: so no one take it. ok. no one will take it.
child: i had 2 muffins. 2 muffins? is that why you're not very hungry today? hmm? do you want more corn? hendrick: if we just think about it a little, there are lots of choices that can be offered, even to 2- or 3-year-olds, but remember, these are limited choices, not "do you want to put on a sweater?" but "which sweater?" not "do you want to have snack?" but "where do you want to sit for snack?" teacher: jordan, where would you like to go first today? hendrick: this is why self-selection of activities is such a valuable par of the preschool day. teacher: want me to tell you the choices again? we're going to look at seeds in this room. hendrick: when children are expected to choose for themselves what they want to do, they have endless opportunities for making decisions that are age-appropriate and that allow them to exercise that independence that matters so much to them at that age. teacher: what would you like to do? hendrick: 4- and 5-year-olds especially need to reach out to the world
and become more connected to their groups. they want to investigate things, make plans, and carry them out. my turn! [computer beeping] my turn. after you, can i have a turn? you already had a turn. well, you were going to have another turn after me. hendrick: learning to take this initiative becomes the next step in their emotional development. what kinds of things can we do to help them take that step? [children laughing] we want to encourage them to seize that initiative and think things up, try things out, and enjoy the emotional satisfactions that come from the delightful experience of exploring and doing things with their friends. another way to think about giving choices is to consider what happens when children don't have those opportunities. what happens when we create a climate that minimizes or takes away the chance to make decisions?
in a spirited child, this can lead to struggle after struggle. in less spirited ones, it can produce feelings of inadequacy and loss of self-confidenc. in extreme cases, it can even lead to a feeling of hopelessness. teacher: ok. where are you working at? what area? hendrick: by allowing children to make their own choices and decisions and be responsible for their own outcomes, we're setting the framework for strong, emotionally healthy lives. will you please push her? all right. well, you know what? is that something we climb? yes or no? no. because why not? is it safe for us to climb on there? no. if you want to climb, there's a climber right over there that you can climb on or down there. hendrick: but let's remember that not everything is a choice. part of becoming a mentally healthy person is learning how to accept that reality, too. sometimes the answer is just plain "no." but learning how to cope with disappointments, delays, and setbacks is another critical part of developing healthy, balanced attitudes.
still, a little prevention can go a long way toward satisfying a child's needs while, at the same time, reducing the level and number of disappointments and frustrations. so what can we do to make you feel better? i want to go ask him. ok. i'll watch your bike while you go ask him one more time. try some nice words, though. hendrick: for example, it's a good policy to make sure there are duplicates of their favorite toys and games. when it's snack time, it helps to have the food ready to serve when the children are seated, and it's very important to make as few demands as possible when you sense they're tired or hungry. such advanced planning means less frustration for you and for them. teacher: no rice? pass it down to valadia, please. hendrick: of course, nobody's perfect, and it's impossible to handle every situation perfectly. children are more resilient than we give them credit for being.
if our relationship with them is basically warm, steady, and fair, we will all survive occasional mistakes. don't be unduly hesitant about handling difficult situations. if you feel things are slipping out of control, wait a minute, take a breath, tell the child you need time to think, and then return to the action. one of the most valuable skills we can give our children is how to express strong emotions without hurting themselves or others or damaging property. but how can we do that? how can we teach them to talk about feelings instead of impulsively acting them out? right here! no! i don't want to! hendrick: what we want our children to learn is... we can begin by communicating with the child in a nonjudgmental way,
showing her we understand how she feels. this kind of understanding requires us to get down to the child's level, eye to eye, and listen intently, not just hearing the words, but sensing what the child's body is telling us, too. teacher: ok. marley, can joel have a turn when you're finished? he throwed me down, and he grabbed it from me. teacher: uh-oh. did you grab it from jessica? we ask. we say, "may i have it, please?" we don't take it from her. that's ok. [boy crying] oh, i know it feels bad, but you wait. wait for your turn. hendrick: then we have to teach the child how to communicate those feelings to others. perhaps he's angry or feeling sad because someone won't let him play, or perhaps he wants something so badly, he can't wait another minute for it. whatever the cause, the first thing to do is to put those feelings into words. name that feeling. sometimes children can pick up on this advice,
and sometimes they can't. when that's the case, the next thing to do is model it. say the sentence out loud so the child can see how to do it. say something like, "i really would like to sock you, i'm so mad at you. i had it first. you give it back right now." or "i want that lion real badly." after that recognition and expression of feeling, then it's time to go on and suggest some ways of helping the child get what she wants in a less emotionally charged way. let's recap what we've learned about responding to situations involving strong emotions. first, teach the child... feel what you want, but control what you do. this kind of understanding requires us to get down to the child's level, eye to eye, and listen intently. encourage the child to say the feelings out loud and to tell the other person how he feels. name that feeling. if the child is too young or inexperienced to know what to say,
model a simple sentence for him to copy. finally... do whatever else is necessary to resolve the situation. teacher: what do you say to charlie? say, "mine. that's mine." yeah. she's really sad, charlie. i'm worried about that. teacher, voice-over: in this classroom, i prefer the children to use words. in fact, we encourage them. we do a lot of encouragement because if they do all this hollering and stomping, we don't know why they're doing that. and i have one in particular in the afternoon--a little boy-- and when he can't have his way or if he wants a particular toy that somebody else is using, he does the stomping of the feet, he does the hollering and the yelling, and we will go to that child and say, "what is it that you want? "why are you doing all this hollering? tell me the reason." and he'll just sort of look at you and, um...
i says, "i need some words because if you do all this hollering and screaming, "miss garcia does not know what you want, "nor does miss washington, nor do the other children. "so if you don't tell us what you want, we'll never know." so we encourage a lot of verbal expression, and then they sort of stop the hollering, they stop the screaming, and once they come up with the words, they seem to calm themselves down, too. children aren't the only ones who lose their tempers, of course. we do, too. the question is, how do you handle your anger? the first thing to remember is that the same rules that apply to children also apply to us: feel what you want, but control what you do. we might as well admit it. you can't fool children by denying you're upset or angry or frightened, for that matter. they always know. even babies know. so it's better to be up-front and simply admit it. of course, this doesn't give us license to lose our temper
or explode or show physical anger to our children. such reactions will only scare young children. teacher: there. jessica's covering hers up. hendrick: so far, we've covered some of the basic skills that help promote mental health. now let's look at some signs that a child is doing all right. is the child working on emotional tasks that are appropriate for his age or ability? teacher: see what happens when you're pulling the toys away from your friend? is that yours? hendrick: for example, if he's 2 1/2, is he asserting himself from time to time? teacher: here. take the yellow one. hendrick: and if he's 4, is he interested in the larger world around him? teacher: oh, is she kissing? ok. give me a kiss and a hug and give nick a kiss. oh...ok. say "see you." hendrick: is the child able to separate from the family without undue stress and form an attachment with at least one other adult at school?
of course, this takes time. comfortable separation isn't something we expect to happen overnight, and it tends to be harder for younger children or children who are developmentally delayed. teacher: asan, put this on the table. take that to your table. both hands. right here. you're going to slice that one. slice it up. hendrick: is the child learning to conform to routin at school without undue fuss? once again, a certain amount of testing-- mostly by 4-year-olds-- and balkiness-- mostly by 2s-- is par for the course. but healthy children don't make a career out of doing this. teacher: i'm thirsty, too. yes, i am. here's his cup. hendrick: is the child able to involve herself deeply in play? play is not only the work of children; it's the greatest health promoter and vehicle for learning that's available to them.
you have to eat two first. teacher: we have to eat two first? teacher and child: lion... zebra... child: i saw that. hendrick: can the child settle down and concentrate? being able to focus attention on something that interests a youngster is a good indicator he's doing well because it means he's capable of learning. unless you can focus, you don't have time to take things in and to think about them. teacher: in the zoo? child: yeah. teacher: wow. what are those? rhinoceros? different teacher: chardonne, you need to use your words. that's not ok. that's not ok! hendrick: and finally, does the child have access to the full range of her flings, and is she learning to deal with them in an age-appropriate way? this is one of the most important indicators of emotional health because it's only when the child is aware of all her feelings
and can express them without harming herself or others that she is truly a whole child. child: no. no! you got to share. you got to share. teacher: you have to share. he's going to mess up my horsy! hendrick: when children seem to have special difficulties, we need to remember we don't have to solve every emotional problem that comes up by ourselves. when feeling puzzled, get some help. no! you'll mess up my horsy! i'm sorry. i didn't mean to mess up your horsy. hendrick: it's so important to communicate with the child, with the family, and with our peers. communication is the key to sound mental health-- the child's and for us, too. let's briefly review the building blocks of sound mental health in children.
we've learned that more than anything, young people look to us for consistent, dependable, trustworthy relationships. children feel the most comfortable when it feels like everything is under control. that's why it's so important to have orderly routines in our classrooms with consistent rules and policies. children need opportunities to think for themselves and, whenever possible, be able to make their own choices. and finally... young people, like the rest of us, need to be able to express their feelings in a safe and appropriate manner. taking care of children can be an awesome responsibility, but let's not let our fear of making mistakes hold us hostage. we all make mistakes. real learning is about recognizing them and discovering new ways to take a more effective, successful approach next time. and trust me, there will always be a next time. let's be patient with our children. but while we're at it,
let's consider our own mental health. let's be patient and forgiving with ourselves. see you next time on the whole child. great things can happen when children feel good about themselves, but it takes an adult to help create those feelings. how to develop self-esteem so a child can say, "i'm glad i'm me"... next time on the whole child. find the yellow paint and make yellow stars over here. i was talking to him. she wasn't finish with that, ok? so what do we need to do? will you let marley finish her turn, please? would you like a turn with the bike? ok. marley, can joel have a turn when you're finished? girl: can you push me all the way to gavin? all the way to gavin? i suppose. where is gavin at?
welcome to another session of beliefs and believers. we had a great class last time, looking at the religion process. and also, we just left talking about the seeker style of religion, and that's a great leaping off point for us for looking at religious experience, which is what we're going to do in this class. but first, i know you had a lot of questions and a lot of interesting comments, and i'm particularly interested in your feedback on the religion process, how you see it holding forth. you haven't had a lot of time to think about it, but any questions or comments you'd like to make? >> before self-consciousness in man, isn't there something more primal, something innate in man at