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tv   Redacted Tonight  RT  June 13, 2014 8:00pm-8:30pm EDT

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i realized something recently you know the difference between evil people and good people villain is people are just people crazy pants dennis miller and saturday night live dennis miller the difference is that evil people have plans they always have a plan good people don't have plans or missions or agendas we just stumble through life think it will all treat each other right if given the chance even people of dry raise boards and power point presentations and i pad app to keep track of just how evil is coming along and whether it needs an evil course correction because this quarter's evil is three percent lower than last quarter's evil good people don't have plants good people have donuts in saddam it's just donuts and alright you one example there is an organization that consists of america's top business
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leaders getting together with government officials behind closed doors during those these clandestine meetings the state governments across the country are told exactly which laws to enact in order to turn the nation into a far right wing a hellhole would looks and smells like rush limbaugh as bath tub. yeah get that image out of your head it's called alec which contrary to popular belief does not stand for any holes leaving everything. it stands for the american legislative exchange council and it's a really great organization if you're a fan of corporate profiteering circumventing government and bad based white men legislating a woman's uterus if you're a fan of those things that alec is a freaking amusement park with all the free that joe g.'s you could eat the way it works is alec has modeled eight hundred bills to push through state legislatures in a painful yet consistent manner. someone passing
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a kidney stone about one out of every five of these bills do indeed become law and these government officials know that if they're good boys and girls and try to pass these destroy the country bills then they will be rewarded with massive campaign contributions and all the free nacho cheese that get ate i don't know why i associate evil with nacho cheese but i do know the point is evil people have plans during all these secretive meetings one of the non-evil people thinking tell you what we're thinking man do i like. the close as people get to it but there goes good people get to a plan is if i work an extra hour at this job i bet i could get two cans of revenue all these and instead of just one bad people have plants we don't have plants i don't have a plan you don't have a plan your plan tonight is i'm going to watch a t.v. show maybe laugh a little meanwhile chiquita bananas plan was to undermine a nine eleven victims bill that would hold financier's of terrorism accountable to
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kid it doesn't want the bill because chiquita abbott is to be a financier of terrorism from one thousand nine hundred seventy two thousand and four they paid one point seven million dollars to a paramilitary force in colombia but country you might not have ever been to or how if you're american a country you might not have ever heard of lives they've heard of it because they have maps they have plants and they have maps alright i'm just saying the good people of this planet are never going to make any progress unless we get some office supplies all right there's a three hole punch or somethin but i'm sure kid is defense and as drew bruise easily just look at this diagram. well the saw let's get started with the plan and come to you for watching these say this is redacted the night.
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well governor jack to deny that i'm you know mostly good. and by host i mean you are my parasites let's take the news from behind shall you this here is a photo of jeremy hammond it looks nice enough but he's serving ten years in prison for hacking into global intelligence firm stratfor releasing a treasure trove of e-mails showing stratfor has their fingers in more dirty than paula deen at a nudist colony all right ok you made that dirty in your own head. hamman has long said that he was led into hacking stratfor by a man named solved who who was working with the f.b.i. at the time now i know what you think and why it is a vietnamese dish working for the f.b.i. it would stop with not a vietnamese dish but a human hacker that's right well now there is new proof that the f.b.i. coerced no provision f.b.i.
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coerced to hammon into committing the crime so this is like the joe bait car where someone leaves a car with the keys inside if you steal it they arrest you except instead of a car this was a bunch of internal e-mails instead of just stumbling across the car your friend is standing there going to get it if you're telling him back is my car you can have it it's my car. and that friend works for the f.b.i. so it's not like bank car at all really but we should still give the f.b.i. credit for thwarting the attack the attack they themselves perpetrated. moving on more evil people with plans the transpacific partnership the largest proposed trade deal mankind has ever seen and despite the fact that it would essentially cede our sovereignty as a country to multinational corporations obama loves it more than life itself it is bad project kind of like the moon landing was for j.f.k. or collecting potato bugs was for george w. bush all right and a few months ago the los enjoy
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a city council path. the resolution pledging to try to halt the transpacific partnership this is one of the largest u.s. cities declaring that they will do everything in their power to protect their citizens against the horrors of our own trade deal and when the l.a. resolution was passed it got less media coverage than the new shoes on that baby boy belonging to that guy who bled you know from saved by the bell the new class that's right the new class. i guess the government doesn't want you talking about the t.p. pay just like they don't want you talking about how much you're being spied on every day practically everything you do is being recorded your online search history what book you last read what book you last said you read to impress your friends but you didn't kendall no if you didn't all right are you trying to fool and here's the thing it's not the n.s.a. that's doing it it's corporations but since this sort of spying helps you get
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a movie and restaurant recommendations no one seems to give it but correspondent sam sachs does give one in fact he gives many that's why he's on the redacted front lines. in the age of big brother your won't be your refrigerator will be a smart refrigerator connected to the internet full of sensors that are constantly feeding doubt about it will be able to remind you when you're out of eggs or should just interest these based on the food you have stored inside like spaghetti with ketchup. touchup with mustard or star refrigerator will even maintain its own twitter profile that it will guilt trip you about if you don't follow. it it will just be you were fridge or others number of devices and point big data in the internet is dramatically increasing more than fifty billion devices expected to be alive by two thousand and twenty it's known as the internet of things like
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decepticons meet the n.s.a. . already big out is getting his valuable insights into how things work and don't work helping systems run more efficiently and cheaper by finding potential problems that small data may have missed. but the most lucrative and also most frightening aspect of big data is what it says not about cars in refrigerators board it says about you. those everyday devices that you use simply to get to work or make dinner will be collecting data not just for your convenience but also for the convenience of online advertisers malicious third party data brokers and the government think of big data as someone who's watching you all the time like a stalker with a dual ph d. in algorithms and creepiness will call him big data daddy big daddy. big daddy knows what you search for online where you write in your emails where you buy with your credit cards the radio stations you listen to most what medical
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condition you last googled google what are the symptoms of low to no rickets no low tech and with all that data big daddy comes to know more about you than you know about yourself the next time you search for cough and cold symptoms online big daddy inundate you with ads for robitussin because that one time you ordered three gallons of the supper crazy weekend in ocean city oh yeah. or the next time you buy scented wife said target big daddy says congratulations you're pregnant or the time you thought you wanted to watch the bourne identity but big daddy said no you know like matt damon movies you like woody allen movies all because you gave your aunt from upstate new york your netflix password for the weekend and she sends watch vicky cristina barcelona eighteen times and you try to explain the big daddy there's a flaw in his collection methods but he reminds you that you never passed out in college and you should just trust him to take with you i mean you need to address that loti problem and you tell big daddy don't you talk about my loyalty problem
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then things quickly escalate from. so big that is not infallible the answers gleaned from it are only as legitimate as the collection methods that went into it after all you wouldn't want to quantify the depravity of society by only looking at you tube comments ok maybe you would but there's another problem with big data. that's big discrimination big data could tell banks that certain homeowners students credit card holders are less likely to pay back their loans thus resulting in higher interest rates or big data could tell police that dark haired white guys with clunky plastic glasses are more likely to commit crimes which could result in heightened police scrutiny and yours truly. police scrutiny and white guys do that. i mean we're practically invisible here right. there kohut. in may
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of this year the white house released a report on big data how it's being used by the private sector and government and its potential for abuse however there is one agency's use of big data that is conspicuously absent from the report nevertheless the white house did push for a sweeping new consumer privacy bill of rights one that will allow individuals to control what personal data is collected how it's being used and how securely it's being stored essentially policymakers behind me and down the street in congress need to understand the changing dynamics of technology and marketing and be ahead of the curve to pass laws that still respect consumer privacy and prevent discrimination. and i've been told by the big daddy that that won't happen so it looks like it's up to consumers then to find internet service and content providers that won't spy on them and sell their big data to brokers which is at least what this reporter is going to do. so. or not
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apparently i don't want to do that big daddy tells me i'm for to lazy and cheap to protect my own privacy like most americans. thanks but. reporting from washington d.c. samsung reductive tonight. sam sam exaggerated. if you get the joke there scrawny jewish kid beat up the matrix looking asian guy. that was the joke will be rag will be right back after these messages and you should pay close attention to this first one hi there are you tired of thinking for yourself tired of charting your own course through life free will got you down then you need advertising. advertising will slowly drain you of your independence eroding your self-worth like waves over a sand castle every day the average person takes in between one thousand and three
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thousand advertisements and brand names seems high right that's because it is all these ads that lets you know that you're fat uncool unhappy underdressed and just a general loser luckily advertising will supply you with solutions to all your problems solutions that will actually just keep malleable and mindlessly obsessed with consumption in every sense of the word well except the old timey sense what it meant to work it was this that would be weird so try advertising today you don't have much of a choice. i marinate join me. in that impartial and find out for commentary cancer
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news and much much. only on the bus and. i'm the president and i'm a society. i'm a big corporation kind of can. do i'm the bag i take all that all about money and i'm a catholic for a politician breaking the laws and regulations that banks are. just too much. of a. bad. welcome
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back hi guys there yeah. you might have noticed i don't normally get into the inside the beltway sausage fest of sausage making that consists of every move individual politicians make i don't do that because i understand that the two party system is a fully owned subsidiary of corporate america that's a realization that is known by you and me and most monopoly players all right however every once in awhile something insane happens house majority leader eric cantor widely known as the guy who waxes be alz of bob's upper thighs i actually love you defending eric cantor. lost his primary challenge to tea party candidate dave brat who has a twenty three year old campaign manager twenty three which means brad and jen just had to file photo of him which we would read right didn't just have to campaign he also had to leave time to act as the easter bunny for his campaign manager. that's
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right i took on the easter bunny i am afraid of no one next of santa and vishnu and . anyway the mainstream media wants to tell you that cantor lost because he was not right wing enough on immigration even though cantor hates every immigrant he's ever met all right the media says he didn't go far enough he didn't declare that virginians should be able to own immigrants and open carry them into fast food restaurants right. you surely have to conceal them however this seems to be more media spin the reality dave brat talked a lot at least as much about ending corruption and jailing bankers as he talked about immigration as leaf falling out republic report noted sprats candidacy was was directed against wall street k. street and corporate cronyism now i'm not saying bret isn't a right wing lunatic. all right i'm quite possibly is i'm just saying the
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mainstream media doesn't want to talk about the votes he grabbed because he spoke out against our runaway criminal banking system and political establishment moving on the cia finally started their own twitter account you can say a lot of things about the cia but clearly they are on top of the trends. not to be outdone the f.b.i. started of their christian mingle profile and the da jumped on farmers only. by the way christian mingle dot com just sound any creepier all right you might as well of called it christian sidle up next to you and we're because i'm scared of sex dot com. of course none of these guys work as well as my favorite dating site ancestry dot com. they don't call her a great aunt for nothing anyway. anyway the cia is on twitter and clearly it's because they have funny daily happenings to share and clever one
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liners that they want to get out to the masses let's check in on the cia twitter feed just saw an extraordinary rendition of michael jackson's beat it l.o.l. . here's another one off to partake in some beach sports hint hint waterboarding. here's another one people get on us about targeted assassinations but of all the times it was as a nation those are totally the back. now although it measures seem funny sending threatening tweets at cia is probably not good for your privacy of credit report or your ability to board planes without being bent over by a t.s.a. agent who haven't even bought you a drink so no we would we would certainly never recommend you do that instead we recommend you simply send the cia absurd tweets that will cause alarms to go off inside whatever computer algorithms watch their twitter account here's some of our examples hey cia i left my rainbow rabbis scooter in your g.
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. bathroom of love thanks for the from massage. or what have cia one single testicle over the ocean can teach a bird to read nine eleven was it interior design project by mr miyagi. or you know cia i challenge you to get to a game of napalm dodgeball but instead of napalm we'll use milk and instead of dodgeball we'll use genitals made out of reclaimed wood all right. that one got a little awkward ok so we're asking you all of you out there to give the cia something to do clearly they have too much time on their hands they're on twitter all right include hash tag redacted tonight and we'll show the best tweet on next week's show last week we asked you to tweet at sea world the best one came from in saying clown pony if i had to see your world were an agile world or world it would make world war z. look like disney world. man that would be a crappy ride at disney world they just lock in a tank and take away your kids. out of texas scientists have proven that the
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poisonous methane in the water in starker county texas is indeed linked to hydro fracking which means fracking could be creating dangerous levels of methane in the water supplies all over the country this report is brought to you by the nov council. getting council has brought you a report showing the b.p. oil spill has harm marine life our criminal justice system is racist vegan cheese tastes like sadness the two party system is rigged silver lining's playbook was ok but overrated and while we're all pretty sure the chemicals we're putting in our hair are causing brain tumors we'd rather have brain tumors then look like this. no counsel pointing out things you already knew since i think any sort of. luxury apartments in london have put spikes on the ground outside in order to keep homeless people from sleeping there i'm not kidding look it may seem like this is
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yet another sign that the outrageously rich people are winning but we all know how evolution works mark my words over a few thousand years homeless people will develop a spike resistant armor skin and an immune system that can digest a rusty socket wrench all right they'll be invincible meanwhile the insanely rich living in their pure realm palaces of hand sanitizers and air purifiers will be allergic to the sun too weak to walk more than a couple of metres without a wine cooler in botox and dead by age thirty from dry skin all right. what good are your sidewalks spikes now the sidewalk likes but then again. but then again thousands of years from now the robots may have taken over and not getting the united nations human rights council has growing concerns about the development of killer robots yep that's right a number of countries are working to create military robots that would decide for themselves whether to kill or not terminator two way is almost real and to break
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down the story is political robotics correspondent john a follow donald. i am greatly good but yes i'll be honest ok pretty annoyed about all this blowback against killer robots do you know that twenty nobel peace prize recipients have come together to issue a joint statement calling for a primitive ban what is ahead of ballots i don't know what more that there's no mainstream media coverage of this issue or that you're actually in favor of on time on a missed killing machines of course i am robots is next evolution baby. they're better than humans they make humans look like. harvey levin from d.m.c. i'm sorry to laugh at this human oh come on please seriously anyway face it robots are smarter than us they're stronger than us they can survive inside volcanoes while simultaneously beating as a jeopardy their right yes yeah right
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a robot scanner the other day with a storage r.v. thirty two dollars for an asparagus or it like you've never made an asparagus mistake. so for what i gather people want to ban these killer robots right that would have the capability of killing without any sense of compassion human dignity respect rule you know respect for the rule of law what are you talking about robots have compassion and respect you're going to sit here and tell me that veronica doesn't have compassion and respect for me. with way who for on a go she's my special friend. i don't want to get into that robots robots can't make their own decision to kill someone john yes they can they can decide whether to kill just like my auto to consent to be with me to run it has got more compassion and her pleasure too than all of humanity come behind. although you might have a point about the auto blow one that thing was a nightmare trixie would not take no for an answer trixie trixie i didn't name or
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that she was a rescue obo she already had that name. locally the robot revolution is here and everyone is totally psyched about it you got to get on board. not everyone is psyched about it all right all those nobel peace prize recipient including arch bishop desmond tutu are calling for a preemptive ban right of course they are really there nobel peace prize recipients what do you expect out of those hippie dippie pansies nobody's even bothered to ask any of the nobel war prize recipients their thoughts about it i know there's no such thing as a nobel war problem with that attitude. there should be there are some people who are oz america are out there cheney rumsfeld clinton and even obama's killed over twenty four injured people with unmanned drone bombings including a few americans he himself said quote i'm good at killing people. and
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and what about a new moreau plus who know number one master no war himself. the kid was there he can't even go to france or spain because they have outstanding warrants where is a resident war criminal do you know how bad ass you have to be as a person to be banned from an entire country i mean i've been banned from a comic con but wait if you're any sort of you've been banned from a comic con things you know we're between. that genre mixin piece said all right relax relax like human rights watch you issued a report stating that no humans could easily be held accountable for the horrific actions that military robots commit right we don't even have the legal framework to prosecute such a thing so stop being a robot apologist for one second what are the state policies concerning autonomous weapons there are many i mean the us issued a directive at the end of two thousand and twelve which allows the d.o.d.
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to use only non-lethal versions of autonomous weapons unless officials waive the policy at a higher level that even mean that directive is less than the auto blow to the op would not be honorable. that there's a big surprise those are active against that do not believe what you hear i gave a the reviews are not true that was i am tired i'm tired of everybody saying. as you know we're better than any other news show we get the breaking news sooner because we have the future headlines generator here are the headlines for next week taliban claims responsibility for merciless attacks on american p.o.w. by fox news yeah fox news and the taliban working together well done in july in july you'll read this in the papers immigration bill passes oh wow that's
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a lot of samsara immigrant bill passes apparently an immigrant named bill died. that's kind of sad but since he's our future headlines he still has some time left could you let me. move on on moving on as some of you know a michael jackson hologram performed at the billboard music awards recently next week you'll read this headline new jersey bar mitzvah unimpressed by a hologram of two members of bell boy have to go. sound disappointing and finally. sure weeks from now you know you'll learn this art of low three becomes sente and refuses to give oral until you clean the kitchen. hostings dead more real every day all right that is our show the entire episode will be up online any minute youtube dot com slash r t america and on hulu if you want to find out where you got we got all this in for all go to facebook dot com so for dac to tonight you can also get it all you can't dot net we are not responsible for the crazy crap you send to the
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cia goodnight and good bye nick. we welcome nathan at least part two of the tour for coach on the r t network. houmous it's going to give you a different perspective give you one star never i'll give you the information you make the decision don't you both bring you the work it's a revolution of the mind it's revolution ideas and consciousness. with the system yeah it's very very you produce would be described as angry i think in a strong no. single. i think. we're going to go digital the price is the only industry specifically mentioned in the constitution and. that's because a free and open process is critical to our democracy shred albus. rule. in
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fact the single biggest threat facing our nation today is the corporate takeover of our government and across several we've been a hydrogen lying handful of transnational corporations that will profit by destroying what our founding fathers once built on my job market and on this show we reveal the big picture of what's actually going on in the world we go beyond identifying the problem trying to fix rational debate and a real discussion of critical issues facing america five different job ready to join the movement then walk a little bit there.


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