tv Worlds Apart RT December 22, 2019 10:30pm-11:01pm EST
more great things has long become a matter for for the more than lifestyle which more often than not results in the failure of success and the scarcity of abundance what happens when the rats stop running and even try to leave the maze well to discuss that i'm now joined by gary john bishop by new york times best selling author and a life coach gary it's good to talk to you thank you very much for your time yeah great thanks for having me now is the 1st time on this show that i cannot side the titles of the books because that peppered with the expletives except for your latest one called do you do work i know how much you care about language as a means of self-expression what was the reason for using the before it's in your 1st 2 titles and defying that habit with the latest one yeah well you know that's just basically the way that i talk i really wanted to write
a book that was an all stand he kicks pression of me i didn't want to do something that was just designed to sell books. you know i wanted to do some that willie was my voice so the titles of the books just seeing you know normal to me doesn't mean that at this point in your life you're relying on the expletives a little bit less than before well. you know a long time ago somebody said there's a big difference between being in trouble and being a bleep in trouble and you know it it really can a resonated with me i really got like there's a there's a seriousness about our lives that i think occasionally a little explicit expletive or 2 helps to can i really point to the kind of gravity of what we're dealing with and allies so you know i'm on a by the by the occasional curse word now in your books you project this image of
a no-b.s. guy and yet you cite a lot of philosophers including one of the forefathers of modern linguistics ludovick with can stein who is famous for his thinking on how the limits of our language is sad the limits of our worlds and not only him in a broad cultural sense but also in everyday life the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and about others that's essentially what your 1st book after yourself is all about isn't it yeah well you know you could put 10 people in a room. and they would all describe it definitely and you know something or might be similarities some things are the same but they'll be the be distinctions they'll be very distinct things that are that are clearly different from another and so another way to say that is we all living life through a very unique lens and that lens is created the language it's in the narrative that
you're telling yourself and you tell other people and and i think it's important for people to pay attention to how they're describing the lives and what they're narrative as we are also the products of our conditioning life conditioning and i think the only difference really is that some people recognize and sometimes even break free of that automated behavioral pattern something that you call to on after yourself and others get semantic in those patterns and till they're totally sapphic hated what was your personal jolt out of these throttle south patchy ation mind less south perpetuation mostly in our lives we can only see the circumstances we only look at what's going on around us and we don't really have a sense that we are shaping them you don't really realize how much for shape and so was a number of years ago there are realized that my particular model
a ship with my mom was a really it would explain it by similar as her you know she does what she does. and really what was happening was she was doing what she was doing and i was then some kind of story or narrative about death like i was i was describing what that meant to me and so i had this really like. but but can a disconnected relationship for my mom like it was really constrained and when to realize what i was doing to this relationship and i'd spent my whole life by the way talking about what she was doing to this relationship once i realize what i was doing to it that's when it started to crack open for me it's a very touching story i heard your describe it in one of the interviews and you said an interesting thing that your mom being at tufts scottish lady that she expressed her allow through criticising you i'm pointing out things that were wrong about what you were doing and i found it very similar to the russian culture as
well and i think many people misunderstand that criticism could also be a form off if not love then the care you have a choice and it doesn't seem like we have a choice there are things that happen and why start or not fair there are things that i've been better and fight not right. and but but where do you choose to kennedy look at them from is ultimately how that thing will play out in your life and i chose to look at my mom as somebody who didn't approve of me and didn't think i was good enough i didn't realize until much later of that well what if all of these criticisms were to keep me on and line what if all of these criticisms were designed for me to turn out in a way that she thought i could or or perhaps should make it ness life and it was then that i started to get that she raised me with the tools that she
had and that i growing up are criticize those myself i was criticizing her but then i started to kind of get a glimpse of who she is as a human being now speaking about this process of sort of human unfolding one of the things you write about the law that which resonates a lot with me is that we are all born as a as essentially a bactrim of beings and that all over the course of our lives have we become narrow where. how much control do you think people have over this process. i don't think you have any control over the process of who you've become. i think you have a massive say and recognizing that at some point your life like who you've become and start me to live your life beyond those constraints so what i mean by that well some people have become very senekal some people have become a way to pause it of where the ignore all the problems in the law so i invite
people in really investigate and explore their own ways of being like what's what's available to you as a human being and he started realize well i've turned out this way but that alternatives that are other ways for me to express myself it's a very interesting thought for me because and the big conflicting thought as well because i heard you say that nobody makes a conscious decision in their adult life to be a jerk and i partially agree with that i think we don't become jerks consciously we're usually made into one through our childhood the usually traumatic childhood experiences but 'd over once you are grown up you usually do acquire a capacity off at least see who would you like to be what is it what was that process for you a from a jorak to a hero in your own had how did it go i started to see what i was doing to myself
like i had become this kind of my off peak hardworking stereotypical scottish guy. in you know it wasn't a problem for me and i surely i was like well this is just how i am and fight it was mostly a problem for the people around me. and then i started to connect get in touch with but what else is available for me like you know what else could i be up to in life and one of the things that i saw was i become last and last i'm less vulnerable less and less and less loving with the people in my life and then again there was point some a life when i was ok with that. but when i really started to investigate what it was costing me the impact it was having on me and on my marriage and my relationship my kids and my family i realized that i'd stop becoming a loving human being i'd become this driven hard working shut off. and that's
when that's when that the switch went off and i started to started to really take on expanding myself as a human being now they the sensual point of all your books is personal responsibility and people having to take on a ship for what's happening to them instead of blaming others which i think psychologically is one of the hardest things to do especially for people with negative self perception because they already have a voice in their had whispering that they are not good enough and trying to sound themselves critically threatens to make that voice even louder or perhaps making it intolerable how do you condition yourself to take on that discomfort of looking straight into the mirror for your own image rather than reflections of somebody else when if you look at your life if you examine your life you'll see it's going in a particular direction. and it's an illusion to think that that direction will change
with some serious and to invention from you know most people think well i'll change my job but i'll move to a new city or and that'll change my life it won't it will just be you in a different place it'll still be you know. one of the things that i started to realize is that the noise in my head as it meet i'm not the voice in my head i have a voice in my head it's usually critical. if it was me it would say nice of thinks. it doesn't it's a survival mechanism it's made is the zine for me to make it and barely make it and this life so what i started the practice of organizing my life around what i wanted my life to be about even when it conflicted with my internal knowledge it's so you know i wrote a book but in my head i'm not smart enough people like me don't write books but
what i held myself to was the actions if i keep writing the book the noise is there but then it starts to get a little quiet or something to even disappears sometimes it comes back it's really allowed and i started to notice that i could co-exist with it while still living a life that went beyond it it's interesting you say that because my own method of calming and being at peace with that was is the practice of meditation and holding those emotions good and bad in this bowl internal bowl of awareness but from what i understand you've never practiced meditation you you came up with the own tricks right yeah yeah i don't know if i can sit still long enough to mad to tell you so i know a lot of people love meditating and i've heard great things of but it but i've never practiced it myself but what i am out to do is. it's just he cannot
distinguish the noise in my head and to just let it be i don't have to do anything with it and i don't have to wrestle with a are enough to control enough to make it go away i can just let it be i really view all of us each human being is you're more like a conduit things pass through and when something is passing through if it's a negative thought or negative emotion the more you try and make it go away the more it stays the more it's here and so i do have this practice of just let knows emotions be this nothing wrong as it's though they come in they go but what stays consistent is what i've made my life about well this is exactly what the practice of meditation is all about and i have to say that a lot of the things you write about in your books living in the moment the spectrum of beings that we all are loving kindness the difference between happiness and success they all seem to come straight from the buddhist teachings and they have in
your books you almost never a mansion eastern philosophers and it's just the ironic and very interesting to me that you would serendipitously arrive at what buddha sat 2500 years ago i guess that's fixed to the universality of human experience. i think i think that as a set and can a universal truths around as. off too all too often we can i go north of them because we think well that's got to be more to it than that oh that's got to be more to solving this problem that i am and so we just kind of dive deeper into it but even if you look at it like some of the some of their early 20th century philosophers like heidegger and get dominant hospital you know they spoke of ways of being and ways of acting and and like that can steen in how language ties into our ways of being and acting and i'm and i'm sure they were probably influenced by
you know some of those more ancient teachings too i want to quote something from you here i am continually observing my 4 letter words starting with ass i observe the observer apart from these 4 letter words this is as buddhist as it can get and what i find very interesting about your work is that you found a new way a new language of bringing these centuries old ideas to the people who normally would not be very interested in is to philosophy. i think i speak to people in a wind which that that they use. my problem with a lot of of similar work and my space or my genre feel like is that it tends to be very very conceptual and people don't want another concept the lives of busy and off they're overwhelmed they're stressed they don't they don't want to be can i have to know one some brand new concept so what i find as
when i speak to people in my terms simple which tends to be kind of everyday terms . how do you. even manipulate yourself to shift yourself to move your emotions a little and to move some of your actions a little. it so. it's easy to understand and it's very powerful well gary we have to take a short break now but we will be back in just a few moments and. join me every thursday on the alex i'm unsure and i'll be speaking to guest of the world of politics sports business i'm showbusiness i'll see you then.
welcome back to worlds apart from gary john bishop a new york times best selling author and a life coach gary your book your 1st book came out in october of 2016 if i'm not mistaken and it's just less than a month before donald trump was elected president of the united states i don't know your political views we don't have to discuss them but what i see is that you both have the set pilo what i would call. new rugged authenticity what do you think about it do you think there's any overlap between the your audience and some of the people who vote for donald trump i don't know i really
don't know you know i have one meshing on this earth and that's to empower people you know i don't really care what your political view as i'm here the empower people the one saying that i well say is there's a lot to use in this word authenticity. that is that it's that it's a mess use of the word and what people when they're say an authenticity what they're really saying is something like candour or speaking your mind which i actually don't agree with i think there's a lot of stuff in your mind that you'd stay there. authenticity really is it's more about talking about yourself when it comes to that subject it's about talking about what's going on with you. and what people of confuse that with is. voicing their upset voicing their concerns about others and how are those that are impacting them
and so i take a slightly different view but as i say i'm here to empower people period that's well to some extent i think don't know chump also sees himself as somebody empowering people and specific kind of people people who may not perceive themselves as overly intellectual people who may not have the most polished language and i'm saying that nonjudgmental i think everybody has to be themselves and try to be the bass version of themselves they don't have to look a certain way are as you know somebody who thinks that the model is but i guess my question is somebody who value south and to sit in a log have you ever cringed at. how forthcoming are authentic president trump may be in the way he expresses himself well i think he's he's representative of a lot of human beings right i mean what we think is authentic ultimately turns out
to be a facade and nuts i'm not just i'm not just pointing that at one person saying it's been point it's been discussed and studied many many times in fact in young's teachings you know we are we're constantly presenting something to the world that we've been presenting it for so long we relate to it as a real self but if you stop and you and you take some examination you'll see you're mostly presenting what you think will protect you and what you're trying to hide from the world which is usually so. um and security or uncertainty or can at the many sheen fall of south and that's that's not just one person and it's all human beings are doing some really obvious lee and noticeably but all or don't when i heard you say that you know books on not really for the high flyers or the high
browed they are for the ordinary folks and there are many speakers who try to appeal to that audience jordan peterson from canada would probably be one of the most successful ad the most controversial some people even describe him as the stupid man's smart person i wonder if you have ever felt the same way the stupid smart person. no way that's too much about me and i really don't whatever people think of me as what they think of me i can't really control and that's all all of those sort of observations or from what i would say up in the stands like watching law if i want to get down in the dirt with people i want to. help people and what people think of me do when they are not there when the ultimately makes no difference to me you know i'm bored and to ask that and the person who just lost their job or they just got divorced or 'd they've been through a really tough time in life and they're trying to get out of it or that's my
concern i'm completely organized it's my every thought everything i read everything i study everything i say i just want to empower people i'll leave the opinions off the over his head the reason i'm asking is because this proverbial a metaphorical stupid man is also a big power it's a major commercial opportunity it's the people like that ordinary folks who made motivational speakers like tony robbins for example multi-millionaires and given how big this industry is today i wonder why do you think there are still so many screw people around i mean on some level paying thousands of dollars to hear somebody speak is not the most rational decision either it's not and it's one of the reasons why i. a lot of what i do i use a do it for free or really cheap play you know i mean you can do an online course of mine for $20.00 you know and the course last like 3 hours of sin workbook and you do the work on yourself. you know i look i think specially in our
society writes and most societies around the world. you know there's there's a cannot drive to do better that is make more money bigger host better car but usually that dry is too far is to can i satisfy some need with yourself am i don't do what i do to satisfy indeed with myself i've done a lot of work on myself i continue to work on myself i know what's going on behind the facade to feel like and i share openly so that i don't i don't become a victim to do it but i but i authentically do what i do it is to empower people i think that's my life's work you know and i did it when i make no money and i do it now that i make money but but i like to think that personal growth and personal development. you don't need to re mortgage your house to do it you can go on
a budget and you can do it with very almost no money you know you can go online and you tube and the some great resources are there for people to empower themselves and make significant change in the logs let me ask you about them that brought a question about the industry and i want to quote with in style again because. hugh one said that the biggest difficulty in philosophy is to say no more than we know and i think that's a major challenge for many of the life coaches because they. i think then though they're always on this both with themselves and that their audience is they often try to over project confidence to over and over solve the wisdom can you always spot the fakery of their i mean then how do you go about it with your own lives because at the end of the day you also have to pay the bills i'd never go and invest business to make money i really didn't i really got to me authentically to help people because someone had done that with me i've done work and i've done
courses and i experienced the difference that it made for me and i just wanted to get it to other people now i know that this is a senekal world i know people who look guys like me in the look in for the saying you know like yeah but what about you know you drive on a car and i bet you you know all the other stuff which is fine you know it's people are going to do that anyway. but you're right there are people who do this and it's a career move and i would say that's a big mistake i think it's a big mistake to get to make your life be a boat others but really it's about you. and. you know over the law it's all parties in this life and of of lots of people come to me and offered me opportunities to do this thing or that thing with my bulk or do and i don't i won't do one because. i'm selling out on what this is really all about so anybody who ever comes to work with me at any partnerships that i do know
it's always it's always going to be about how many people can we help and how can we do it and how can we make it is broadly accessible as possible and if it doesn't fulfill own not criteria are those needs then i won't know what ok well i don't know if you have a very interesting life to check through from being a musician to a live coach and now a bestselling author where do you see yourself moving nags and can you confidently say that you have dogs that work to you on after yourself and when ever deemed that process complete yeah no it's not a death to answer the last part it's not a destination it's a it's once you realise what it takes to cannot unstick yourself then what you're looking at is new and unfolding ways to get access to that freedom isn't a particular space it's new realms of freedom new dimensions of freedom what what i'm doing now with my wife 10 years ago i couldn't of them i get. and i'm still in
the process of what's next and what's next then what's next but not to get there but rather taken a bring up vibrancy to the life that i go all you know i live my life looking at the future but i'm but i'm not pining for it the future informs and wife and the life of go and that's what i want people to get when people get that you can live an inspired life you can see me right now by that wearing a t. shirt. with a sign that says it's time for new dreams and i wonder what i know b.s. guy like yourself think thinks about new dreams do you find them helpful in anybody's life i'm sorry for using the expletive yeah. but yeah. i do think dreams are important for human beings but you can't get so wrapped up in them that that you sacrifice the present the present as your life this is where
it's happening and so i like to look at things like dreams and aspirations for the future as being the kinds of things that inspire you to get up off your seat today that that inspires your life today. other than now if you don't if you if the dreams you have on impacting the life you currently have then you've got to let them go they're not serving you well gary i do you think that you found a new language war talking about things that are eternal in nature and i'm sure many of our viewers filled by your books fascinating in the meantime thank you very much for being with us today thank you and thanks for having me our viewers can keep this conversation going in our social media pages to ask for me and the team we hope to see her again same place same time on the world's apart.
the night before christmas and all over the world people are mining seeking individual sovereignty so they fall by just when you think. they put themselves on the line to get accepted or rejected. so when you want to be president one should. want to. have to try to be close with what will befall 3 of them or 10 people that. interested always in the waters of.
this city. russian officials have identified the suspect through the shooting at me of the federal security service building in central moscow 2 people were killed and 5 injured in view time. and in other news that would shape of the week was go and you lash out at us sanctions targeting russia's nord stream to gas pipeline to germany with berlin saying it amounts to interference in domestic affairs. and another inspector breaks ranks from the global chemical weapons watchdog the o.p.c. w. saying it's fine.