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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  October 1, 2009 3:05am-4:00am EDT

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obviously, you know this. it was crazy today. but, in fact, today president obama met with japanese prime minister yukio hatoyama, or as president bush called him, mr. miagi. the japanese minister wanted to thank obama for all of the money that japan got from the cash for clunkers program. so he really enjoyed that. he's like, "do that again! that was great for us." but tomorrow president obama will be the first president to chair the u.n. security council. that's pretty cool. meanwhile, joe biden became the first vice president to spent six hours in a brookstone massage chair. [ laughter ] that's kind of a win-win. obama's been very busy. tonight, they hosted an evening reception for world leaders at the waldorf-astoria in new york. it was great. the party was going great until hugo chavez started doing karaoke. that's -- ♪ here i go again i'm on my own ♪ ♪ i'm going down the only
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road i've ever known ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ like a drifter i was born to walk alone ♪ sounds like julio iglasias a little bit. i'm not going to keep doing the whole song. he's rising on a car. in a speech to the clinton global initiative yesterday, president obama thanked bill clinton for the extraordinary difference he has made since leaving the white house. clinton then stood up and thanked president obama for keeping hillary so busy. it's like, "thank you so much. really, really appreciate that." vice president joe biden spoke at a retirement home in maryland today to reassure senior citizens about health care reform. the seniors didn't really care what biden said in the speech, they were just happy to outlive it. they were like -- "is he done?" did you hear about this? libya's president moammar kadafi gave a lengthy tirade to the u.n. general assembly today. he was supposed to talk for 15 minutes but went on a 90-minute rant instead.
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i mean, where is kanye when you need him? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] come on! come on, buddy! the dow closed yesterday at 9,829, its highest point since last october. shareholders were like, "thank god," or however you say that in chinese. the los angeles city council passed an ordinance yesterday that allows just one rooster per household. which means if a rooster wants to be with another rooster, they have to move to san francisco. [ laughter ] i just read that chaz bono will release a memoir in 2011 about his decision from going from female to male. shoot, i just gave away the ending. the only memoir that actually turns into a pop-up book.
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it's pretty cool. i didn't write it! he did! [ applause ] pretty cool. a pharmaceutical company is developing a micro chip to be implanted in patients' shoulders that remind them to take their medication. that's just what crazy people on meds need, right, a voice talking to them out of their shoulder? yeah. "but my shoulder said to take it!" doing a little michael. i started to do a "thriller" dance. i don't know if you guys feel like breaking a world record tonight? we can do it. i read this in "time" magazine, former presidential candidate ralph nader said that president obama was "weak, waffling and wavering." and then nader added, "i do not like him in a house. i do not like him with a mouse." just insane. last night, arizona diamondbacks' third baseman mark reynolds hit a new major league
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baseball record when he struck out 205 times in one season. one of his teammates went to give him a high-five, but, of course, he missed. the guy has a good streak going, might as well keep it up. and finally in the gulf of mexico this week, american scientists caught a 103 pound giant squid, or as kirstie alley calls it, the calamari appetizer. ladies and gentlemen, we got a show. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thanks for being here tonight. we have a big show tonight. it's going to be a lot of fun. the lovely, talented and very funny amy poehler is here, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] she's great. from the new film, "love happens," dan fogler will be joining us tonight. he's a great dude. he's a funny guy.
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some parkour athletes will demonstrate their urban gymnastic skills right here in our studio. [ cheers and applause ] jumping around, a little crazy. and we've got standup comedian wayne federman tonight. he's going to be on. he's going to be good. i know all the guests tonight. wayne federman, by the way, is a great comedian. i've been on the road with him. we traveled on the road together. he's a great guy. i think you'll really love him. but he just signed up for twitter, and he doesn't want anyone following him. he wants -- [ laughter ] he is a very neurotic, crazy man. he just wants to have his base of people and that's it. so i figure we'll give out his twitter name on the show here tonight, and just bother him and send him notes and stuff. see what he is doing and stuff. so it's @federman, @-f-e-d-e-r-m-a-n. just drive him crazy. thank you. i'm so excited. fall is in the air. can you feel it, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
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the leaves are changing, the kids are back at school, and colleges have started up again. makes me nostalgic for my first year at college. in fact, i remember like it was yesterday. ♪ >> jimmy: man, i've got so much homework i've got to do. >> oh, yeah? >> jimmy: yeah, and by homework i mean listening to bob marley. yeah, that was good times. that was good work. >> nice flash back, buddy. where did you go to school? flashback community college? >> jimmy: excuse me? >> that flashback. you did it all wrong. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> well, first of all, no one rubs their chin when they do flashbacks anymore. the wavy lines, the harp music, and -- were you wearing a wig? you look like a david crosby had a baby with a guy who looked
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just like david crosby. [ laughter ] >> come on, that's just -- definitely how i look in college. >> now, if it you want to see a real flashback, you've got the master right here. >> jimmy: really. you're the master of flashbacks? >> that's right. ron dempsey, flashback master, at your service. [ light laughter ] >> all right, ron dempsey, you're so great, let's see you do a flashback. >> oh, that will be easy since i wrote the book on flashbacks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> sure did. it's called "flashing back the ron dempsey way." [ laughter and applause ] not to be confused my other book, "ron dempsey and the 101 garfield jokes about the flashbacks." >> jimmy: how about you just do a flash back? >> okay. but i'm warning you, this flashback is going to cut your face off. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: whatever. just do it. >> all right. buckle up.
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buckle up for safety. because here we go. ♪ >> and that's how you do a flashback! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was the -- that was the lamest flashback i've ever seen. you were sitting alone eating cereal. what are you, like, eating fruit loops? [ laughter ] >> actually, they were fruity hoops. you've got to go generic, good for you, good for the environment. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what do they even mean? i don't know what to say. [ laughter ] >> look, i don't answer questions. i question answers. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: well, if you're so great, let's see you flash forward. >> no one can flash forward!
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? check this out. i can flash forward to later in this episode when i'm interviewing amy poehler. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is funny, that is funny. [ cheers and applause ] this interview -- [ laughter ] this interview is going so great so far. so do you have any pets? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i -- i -- have you seen any good movies, or -- >> no. >> jimmy: so what else is new? >> oh, i don't -- i don't -- >> hey, jimmy! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ron?
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why do you have a beard? >> jimmy, this is ron dempsey, from the future. [ laughter ] i'm here to save you. >> jimmy: save me? from what? >> from this crappy interview. what do you think? [ laughter ] now quick. you have to do what i say. ask her about her recent vacation to cape cod. >> jimmy: how do i know i can trust you? [ light laughter ] >> because i'm the only one you can trust. >> jimmy: so i heard you just got back from the cape. >> what an awesome question! [ laughter ] i have so many stories about that. >> jimmy: well, that's why i figured -- >> oh, wow. >> jimmy: we should talk about it. >> we should talk about the cape. >> jimmy: thanks, flashback master. we'll be right back with the past ten minutes of my interview with amy poehler! ♪ new one a day vitacraves.
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>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! thank you very much for watching. our first guest is a two-time emmy nominee for "saturday night live" and has starred in a ton of hit movies. you can check out her very funny show, "parks and recreations" right here on nbc, tomorrow night at 8:30. say hello to the hilarious, and my pal amy poehler, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey. >> hi, guys! >> jimmy: that song is "rock creek park." and it has the word "park" in it. >> oh, nice. i always have to say i watch your show to figure out a lot of the times what you guys are going to play for each skit. >> jimmy: the roots are good like that. my favorite, i think, is from "60 minutes," we had steve croft on, and they just played -- [ ticking ] [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: that's all they would do. that was it. i was like, "oh, there you go. that's your -- theme song." >> that's awesome. >> jimmy: dude, thanks for coming on. and i just want to say, you were on the show last night for about a second. >> i was, by accident. >> jimmy: we did a bit, we were outside playing dodgeball in the elevator bank. >> right. >> jimmy: that's what we do on our show. and you just happened to be taking the elevator up, and seth -- seth myers was on our show, and you were just totally making fun of him. in the elevator. >> yeah, well, the elevators opened up, i think you have a clip, and i saw you, and i was like, "hey!" and seth turned around and was like, "ha, ha!" so i realized how you were filming so i closed the door. >> jimmy: yeah, you were like -- we have a clip. look at the clip from last night. yeah, so -- this is crazy. oh, my god. look -- there's amy. [ laughter ] there's amy poehler right there on tv right now. hi, amy. going up to work? all right, everybody. all right. that's just great. you happened to be coming up. >> i was very excited. >> jimmy: what were you doing? >> i was just heading up to "snl" to do some stuff. and it opened up while you guys
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were filming. it was fun. >> jimmy: how's it all going? you're doing update again now. this is the -- >> yep. >> jimmy: this is the weekend -- "saturday night live weekend update thursdays." >> thursdays, yes. >> jimmy: three days of the week in that title. >> that's right, yeah. >> jimmy: fantastic. >> and it's great. you know, it's always great to come back and do it. and you get a little bit nervous when you first walk in the building, like i get that panic that i used to have, and then it goes away. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: when i go up -- yeah, i go in there and feel like i'm going back to high school almost. >> yes. >> jimmy: because you feel like you graduated two years, three years ago, and you're like, "what's up, you guys?" and everyone's like, "we work here, buddy. we're going to go to class." >> totally. >> jimmy: ""hey, well, i'll be waiting!" >> "you guys remember when tracy morgan and chris kattan was on the show?" like, "get out of here, you're so old." and like, "will ferrell was here when i was around." >> jimmy: "it was me and cheri oteri was there and colin quinn --" >> yeah. "molly shannon and i used to --" >> jimmy: "i gotta go, man." >> yeah. there like, "get out of here." >> jimmy: but then it all just calms down. >> yes. >> jimmy: but that's fun, you have an amy poehler block of comedy on nbc from 8:00 to 9:00. 8:30, it's "parks and recreations."
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>> that's right. that's right, yes. >> jimmy: which, by the way, is a great show. it's so good. >> thanks very much. thanks. i'm excited, too. [ cheers and applause ] thanks! >> jimmy: season one here it is here on dvd. >> on dvds, and it's just a seasonette. it's just a seasonette because we only did six episodes the first year, so we're kind of like a freshman and a half right now. we're not, you know. >> jimmy: yeah. so you're just -- you still kind of, like, yeah. so what do we have? aziz is there and there's -- >> rashida jones. >> jimmy: our good old pal, rashida. >> we love. >> jimmy: and what's going to happen this season? >> good stuff happening this year. leslie finds out that someone has planted pot in her community garden. [ laughter ] she has to go on a stakeout. there's a beauty pageant she has to judge. everyone likes the hot girl, and she likes the girl with all the talent. fred arimsen is going to be a guest-star our show. and he comes and he's a guy from venezuela, our sister park -- sister city, and he's the director of parks. and he thinks that our place is totally depressing and disgusting. and louis c.k., louis c.k. is going to come on as a possible
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love interest for my character. you guys love louis c.k, right? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's fantastic. he's one of the best comedians, writers. we have a clip you and louis c.k, from "parks and recreation." >> if you could just stop writing for a second, and just focus here. >> ma'am, ma'am, as i told you several times already, this is a police matter. >> well, it doesn't seem to matter. to the police! [ laughter ] >> okay. nice job with that. but -- [ laughter ] >> let me ask you a question. is it policy of the pawnee police department to arrest people when they try to get into their own van? >> no. and thankfully, that's not what happened. now, could you please go home and get some sleep and let this matter be resolved? >> thank you, officer. let's just go home. >> thank you, let's go home. no! no! no! >> easy. >> no, no, no! >> come with me, please. >> fine, i would like to come with you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no! i like it a lot. always fun to hang out with -- i've got to tell you this story. we sat next to each other at the
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emmy awards. >> we did. jimmy and i got to sit next to each other, and we were honored to be there. and your bit was hilarious. >> thanks, pal. >> and me, you and will sat next to each other. and we just tried to make you feel better about your bit. >> jimmy: no, you did not, at all, in fact. [ laughter ] you and your husband, will arnett, who is -- god. two of you guys are the funniest people ever. and you just kept going, "don't be nervous, it's not like everybody in the industry is watching your bit." [ laughter ] >> it's not like people are judging you, it's not everybody is paying attention. no one is paying attention to "late night" right now, don't worry about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was so good. >> it was so fun. >> jimmy: i love that do you this bit when -- because you were nominated, right -- the first category. >> yeah -- you know, i had always loved back in the day, when, like, tim conway and harvey korman and chevy chase -- all those guys would do bits when they would get nominated. and they would all get together, all the guys. and they would do something. so i thought it would be fun for us ladies to do something stupid. and so we ended up just doing something stupid. and what was fun is everyone was so game, including vanessa williams, you'll see. she's -- in on it, too.
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so it was fun. >> jimmy: yeah. so they announced all the nominees, and cut to you sitting in the chair. usually you're sitting there all nervous like, oh, i hope i win. >> right. >> jimmy: instead you guys put on some costumes. just take a look. >> the nominees are -- kristen chenoweth, "pushing daisies" -- jane krakowski, "30 rock" -- [ applause ] elizabeth perkins, "weeds" -- [ applause ] amy poehler, "saturday night live" -- [ applause ] kristin wig, "saturday night live" -- [ applause ] vanessa williams, "ugly betty" -- [ applause ] [ laughter ] >> isn't that good? >> jimmy: i love it. it's like -- "no." >> i love it! there were some people that were confused. they thought vanessa really wasn't into it. but obviously it was a bit. she was played it so well. it was so funny. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. oh, it was so good. what made me laugh, of course -- they didn't put it on the screens in the room. >> they didn't put it on the screens, no. so we were just -- you know what, it was a testament to how great those ladies were. but we all had to do it, not
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knowing if the other people had done it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh! >> you know what i mean? that just goes to show how awesome those ladies were. because everyone's like -- "am i the only one that's doing it?" [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's next year you gotta do that. it's really funny. hey, how's the baby? how's baby archie. >> he is awesome. he's doing great. >> jimmy: he's the cutest thing. i was telling the guys back stage that he is in like this little baby monkey stage, where he's like mr. peepers. do you remember chris kattan's character, mr. peepers -- >> jimmy: do i remember it, yeah. >> do you guys remember it, when you guys were 5 years old, ten years ago? [ laughter ] but he's like just -- he's great. he's not eating apples or anything, but he's -- >> jimmy: what does -- >> he's doing a lot of this -- >> jimmy: does he wear overalls? >> he's wearing red overalls, and he's assaulting katie holmes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was one of my favorite ones. >> me, too. >> jimmy: well, you're an actress, you're a producer and you're a mom.
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and you have all this stuff, juggling this stuff, i want to know if you want to try this thing. we set up a race. it's the poehler stroller derby. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right? and what we're going to do is we're going to race strollers through an obstacle course around the studio, if that's okay with you. is that all right? >> i cannot wait to kick your ass. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. here we go. "weekend update thursday" airs tomorrow at 8:00 -- followed by "parks and rec," at 8:30 right here on nbc. also, check out "the mighty b!" on nickelodeon. when we come back, poehler stroller derby, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (announcer) still tired of morning coming in the middle of the night? (rooster crow) ...still tired the next day too? when you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep... remember 2-layer ambien cr. the first layer helps you fall asleep quickly. and unlike other sleep aids, a second helps you stay asleep. when taking ambien cr, don't drive or operate machinery. sleepwalking, and eating or driving while not fully awake with memory loss for the event as well as abnormal behaviors
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with amy poehler! "the poehler stroller derby." now, the rules are simple. now, look -- very nice. >> i i've got my sneakers on, my commuting sneakers. >> jimmy: absolutely, yeah. [ laughter ] you're a working girl. >> there we go -- here we go. >> jimmy: all right, here we go, we got two identical strollers,
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each have their own water balloon babies in here. no real babies in "poehler stroller derby." so come on -- my guy is shocked and your guy is -- >> my guy is happy. >> jimmy: yeah, all right, so here's what we're going to do. [ laughter ] we're going to run up -- race up the stairs first, and then we switch -- we turn the corner there, and then we come down. so i'm going to go backwards first up the stairs, then forwards down the stairs, then we come here and we have to grab our lattes, and then we race for one lap around the whole studio. >> okay, copy that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, look. wait. now, look. it's a speed race. it's a speed race, and a safety race, but mostly a speed race. [ laughter ] >> my kid has to have lunch. we gotta get back home. >> jimmy: all right, one point for winning. bonus point for keeping the water balloon -- >> ah! >> jimmy: oh! ♪
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♪ oh my gosh. ♪ >> jimmy: oh, we got one more. ♪
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this way, this way, whew! >> jimmy: whew! this way, this way. this way. [ cheers and applause ] whew! >> whew! >> jimmy: woo-hoo! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh. >> let's see how our babies feel. mine's still happy. [ laughter ] yeah. >> jimmy: mine -- something's on mine's neck. [ laughter ] his neck got injured. >> we both lost their hats. >> jimmy: yeah, we certainly did. >> oh but -- >> jimmy: check out "parks and recreation" tomorrow night at 8:30 on nbc. amy poehler! dan fogler joins us next! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ meet bob. bob's helping us see where it's easier to find money. in there, or when you compare auto insurance prices at esurance.
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♪ >> jimmy: we're back. whew, i'm exhausted. welcome back, everybody. our next guest is a funny and talented, tony award-winning actor who stars in the new film with jennifer aniston entitled "love happens." it's in theatres right now. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, dan fogler! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, very good. you want to get in there? you want to get more? you can move the pillow back? >> yeah, why the hell not? >> jimmy: yeah, why not, right? get on in. how are you doing, jimmy? >> jimmy: how are you, my friend? you had to get your dance on. >> i did, man. i can't help it. you got the roots here. >> jimmy: i know, they're
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phenomenal. [ cheers and applause ] i love them. >> amy here. >> jimmy: yeah. >> amy: what's up, man? [ growls ] yeah. [ laughter ] >> we were in "horton hears a who!" >> amy: we were. we were. we did voices. we never worked together. >> we passed during voice work. >> amy: near the cookie tray. >> i love her. >> jimmy: yeah, she's the greatest. and we know each other from -- we know each other through daria and thomas. >> through thomas sullivan and daria over here. are they here? >> jimmy: yeah, they're here somewhere. i think they're backstage somewhere. >> stage 13 is my theater company, film company. >> jimmy: yeah, you're doing all this stuff now. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: when -- i think i met you right after you got famous for doing "the putnam county spelling bee." >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was -- that was -- i've seen this. it's amazing, tony award-winning role. your performance was unbelievable. i've seen people do -- you know, 'cause you were the guy that spelled things out with his foot. >> the magic foot, yeah.
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>> jimmy: yeah. yes! that's what i'm talking about. see, magic foot. that was the best. and since then, i've seen people do that, like bits with their feet, and try to recreate your funniness. >> no one can do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have patent on people's feet, right? no one's allowed to use their feet anymore. >> no one can move their ankles. >> jimmy: no. >> going like that to move it. >> jimmy: no, absolutely not. but did you know that was going to be a hit when you --? >> oh. no, you know, we -- that came out of improvs. you know, that was like a show that we created with the farm, which was this great improvisational collaborative crew that put together this show called "crepuscule," which is -- means like twilight, you know? that was the name of the show. and it was like an anti-musical, and the actual like -- the original theater that it was in was called the theatorium, and it's condemned now. [ laughter ] but when we -- i think we were the last show that was in there. >> jimmy: and what was it called? >> it was "crepuscule," which means twilight. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but it actually like, when you go into the theater you feel kind of like -- kind of crepuscpuley?
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, when you walked in there, yeah. because they changed -- oh, 'cause it would say a spelling bee word? >> yeah, and there were like a rat skittering around. you could hear them. >> jimmy: really? and next thing you know, you're winning a tony award. >> exactly. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. amy, i've been at a couple ucb theatres. >> amy: yeah, i was going to say, it was good that you didn't call it "twilight" because that title doesn't do very well. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: unless there are vampires in your play, yeah. >> exactly. it felt like they were vampires in the theater. >> jimmy: but then -- but now you're doing, i want to talk about you're in a band. >> yes. >> jimmy: what is in this band? you're in a band as well. >> i'm in a band, and it's called second rate. [ laughter ] we call it that just so we can come out and just be like -- "we're second rate!" [ laughter ] and it lowers -- it lowers everyone's expectations. and then we rock out. so it works, you know? >> jimmy: what kind of music, is it? rock and roll? >> it's eclectic, man, we do hip-hop, we do rock and roll, we do hard rock, metal. you know i got -- i can mimic a lot of different, you know,
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styles in my voice. >> jimmy: oh really? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: can you, like -- can you do like a heavy metal like -- you can just do anything? like if i give you a genre, can you do it? >> i guess so, yeah. >> jimmy: roots, do you mind give him like a heavy metal riff? let's see what he can do. ♪ ♪ come on, yeah come on everybody now, uh yeah ♪ ♪ put your hands together y'all uh, uh, jimmy fallon amy poehler dan fogler ♪ ♪ come on, yeah jimmy fallon amy poehler dan fogler ♪ ♪ come on, now ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. let's get -- we're testing your chops. we're testing your chops. yeah, you should come with the roots. >> you should be in freestyle with the roots. >> jimmy: used to do that when we got back and do that. but i mean -- >> if this album comes out nicely, i would love to some on and do a song. >> jimmy: absolutely. we always have second rate people on. yeah, we'd love to have you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: no offense to our musical guest tonight, we had to bump them. and no offense to wayne federman, which, by the way, follow him on twitter and bother him. [ laughter ] are you on twitter, by the way? >> no, i don't do that. >> jimmy: not into that? like, don't like socializing with people? >> i like socializing with people. >> jimmy: you do? just not on the computer. >> not on the computer. [ in french accent ] not on the computer. [ laughter ] [ speaking foreign language ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know what is going -- everything that just happened. a lot of people know you from the movie "balls of fury," which is -- you really kicked butt in that. [ cheers and applause ] i thought you were fantastic in that. you worked with the great christopher walken. >> yeah!
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[ laughter ] excuse me. >> jimmy: yeah. please. >> spritzing from singing. >> jimmy: what is -- working with christopher has got to be a treat. i worked with him on "saturday night live," and it's a trip. >> i loved working with him, and it was a total joy. and he's a god to me you know? so i would just sit on set, and ask him to just say anything, just to hear him talk. [ laughter ] you know? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it'd be like if we'd be at the craft service table and i'd be online with him, and be like, "so, chris, what do you think of the selection today?" you know, he'd be like -- [ imitating christopher walken ] "you know, dan -- [ laughter ] these devilled eggs is a little tangy!" you know? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: just make him say anything. [ imitating christopher walken ] >> "i like the artichoke dip." you know? >> jimmy: "like the artichoke dip." >> yeah, he would say ridiculous things to me before a take, just to mess with me, i guess, you know? >> jimmy: what would he do? >> he'd just be like -- [ imitating christopher walken ] "you know, dan, you know that a
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black hole floating in the universe, it makes a sound. it goes, wah-wah-wah." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he did not do that. >> i swear. i swear. >> jimmy: and then he's like "action," and you gotta do your scene? >> no, no, no, no. and then he goes -- [ imitating christopher walken ] "you know, dan, when you were born, you made that exact sound. only 19 octaves higher. wah-wah-wah!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love it. i love it. that's great. well, we can -- well, we can see you now in "love happens," i'm excited to see, because i know you're playing sam kinison for a movie coming up. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and god, you're going to knock it out of the park, and i'm sorry now, i can't wait to see you getting an award and amy and i will be sitting in the crowd laughing with eye patches on. 'cause i know it's going to be great, man. but dan fogler, "love happens" is in theaters now. stick around. the parkour athletes are up next! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ i always feel like somebody's watching me. ♪ it's the money you could be saving with geico. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for coming back, everybody. mtv has a show, "the ultimate parkour challenge," featuring athletes from the wftf. it's going to air thursday, october 22nd on mtv. and parkour is -- let's take a look at footage from the show and see what these guys do.
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♪ >> jimmy: parkour, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] crazy stuff. now, parkour originated in france, and we have seen the videos of this stuff on the web. it's kind of like urban gymnastics, these guys are like street ninjas. we're thrilled to have them performing live tonight on our show. guys, whenever you're ready. ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's going on? my thanks to tim, mike and ryan. why don't you pick up your mic? say your name and where you're from, you guys. >> i'm tim, from derby in england. >> jimmy: good man. [ cheers ] >> my name is michael, i'm from southern california. >> i'm ryan from liverpool in england. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good, very cool. are you excited about the big mtv show? >> oh, i can't wait for this to air, man. >> jimmy: i mean, that was crazy. that was so wild. i mean, what would make one get into something this crazy?
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death wish? >> i mean, i used to break dance. and then i saw it on tv in england. >> jimmy: that's how you dance? just hop around the club -- you're like, "hey, dance with me." [ laughter ] >> yeah, exactly, that's me. i'm my own movement. >> jimmy: oh, my god. it's so cool. how did you get in? >> i started out in martial arts, and the freedom of parkour, it's just, like, it's the endless possibilities of martial arts -- in free running, in parkour. just sets you free. >> jimmy: yeah. what about you? >> i'm the same, martial arts and gymnastics. i had never seen it, and thought, "i'm pretty much doing that, so, i just didn't know what it was called." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's fantastic. well, you guys got to watch "the mtv ultimate parkour challenge" on october 22nd. up next, stand up comedian, wayne federman, everybody. thank you guys so much for doing that. that was great. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! we've got a fantastic show coming up tomorrow. the beautiful megan fox will be here tomorrow, as well as anthony anderson. he'll be joining us. he's great. and we have a performance from phoenix! so, hope to see you back here tomorrow night. but up next, our next performance, both a standup comedian and an actor, he will be at the ameristar casino in kansas city, missouri this saturday night. and on hbo's "curb your enthusiasm" on sunday. please welcome wayne federman, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> hi. i was going to wait until i got to the mic, but that was cool anyway. hey, first of all, my name is wayne, as jimmy said, and i liked the name wayne until the fourth grade, when my teacher stopped the class. he was like, "oh, we've got a wayne in here." "yeah, yeah, that's me." she goes, "you know, wayne's also a word." i go, "oh. i did not know that." she said, "yeah, it's a verb." "does it mean, like, to run or to play?" she goes, "no, no, it means to
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diminish slowly over time." [ laughter ] "what? that's my name?" "yeah, even right now you're a little bit less than you were when i first started telling you about your name." [ laughter ] like, "all right." but i hope i look good, because i've been working out at the gym, and -- [ cheers and applause ] don't -- i kind of felt like that was patronizing. that was almost patronizing. yeah, i go. i go. you have to go all the time. i go twice a month. [ laughter ] and it's important that you go regularly. is the important thing. and i hate going there. not so much for the workout, for the people that work there. their language. i don't know what they're talking about. they're like, "hey, man, what are you going to target today, your lats or your quads?" [ laughter ] i don't know what those words mean. "what are you going to work on, your delts?" "uh, i'm going to work on getting laid." [ laughter and applause ] "can you point me to that machine possibly?"
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[ laughter ] "that would help me a little bit." the problem with my workout is i combine it with fast food and my favorite fast food restaurant is taco bell, for a couple reasons. [ cheers ] one, i feel wealthy when i order food in that restaurant. [ laughter ] two, they are the most creative of all the fast food restaurants, because they make basically three items. but then they ship them off to these geniuses at what i call the bell laboratories. [ laughter ] where they cross breed, hybrid, mutate those three items, and, boom, new products all of the time. like the double-decker, when that came out, i'm like, "what is this?" i took it apart like a walkie-talkie. [ laughter ] i look inside, it's like a hard shell taco wrapped by a soft tortilla, but here's the genius. in between, they put in refried beans that act as an adhesive. [ laughter ]
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it's like a gasket. oh, i have some big news i want to share with everyone. and i guess tonight is the night. i was at the doctor two days ago, and i was diagnosed with athletes foot. so -- [ laughter ] yeah, i don't know if you know this, but when i was in high school, and jv basketball team, i tried out for them. and was cut and the coach said i wasn't athletic enough, and now -- [ laughter and applause ] yep. so, coach foreman, if you're watching, screw you. i did it. i made it. [ laughter ] i'm talking to you right now, coach foreman. so, i had had a birthday and -- this year. i'm the worst sign of the zodiac, cancer. there's nothing on the zodiac wheel close to cancer, the most dreaded disease on -- i don't know, earth? [ laughter ] the planet earth, i think it is. it's like, "oh, what are you, december, acne?" "cancer."
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there's nothing close to it. [ laughter ] so, i get a -- a book -- the book of questions for my birthday. and i opened it up, and i'm like, "what is this?" "would you give up the use of all of your limbs and the ability to urinate so the people of chad could eat for a year?" [ laughter ] i mean, who the hell gave me this? what is this? [ laughter ] i look in the back for the answer. guess what, there are no answers. this is just a book of unanswerable questions. give me the book of answers. that's something i can use. "the chicken came first." [ laughter ] "the glass is half empty." [ laughter ] "of course it makes noise, it's a tree." all right. [ laughter ] "the wood chuck would chuck one-and-a-half cords of wood per hour." [ laughter and applause ] and that's it for me. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: wayne federman. you can twitter him at federman dot -- yeah, at federman. twitter.comfederman. >> i'm shutting it down tonight. [ laughter ] i don't want it. >> wayne federman, everybody. catch him in kansas city, missouri this saturday. i'll be with him! and my thanks to amy poehler, dan fogler! the one and only wayne federman, everybody. you're getting a standing ovation. and the greatest band in late night, the roots! stay tuned for "carson daly." thanks for watching. have a good night! hope to see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ brought to you by the united healthcare insurance company, the proud provider of aarp medicare supplement insurance plans. susan: navigating through the medicare system is very, very difficult; it's confusing, unless you have somebody to give you some guidance.


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