Skip to main content

tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  December 2, 2014 12:36am-1:38am EST

12:36 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to martin short, gabrielle union, jerry seinfeld, miranda sings, mary j. blige! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen, from philadelphia. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye! thanks! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:37 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- carrie underwood and brad paisley. from "alpha house," actor mark consuelos. music from t.i. featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everyone. how are we doing? i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." is everybody well? [ cheers and applause ] great. great to hear.
12:38 am
you guys it's an exciting time. midterm elections are coming up. midterm election fever, i don't know if you have it. [ laughter ] get to a doctor immediately. but some political news to start with tonight, former florida governor jeb bush said today that he has not yet decided whether he will run for president in 2016. he said he hasn't decided. at which point hillary clinton took her foot off of his neck. [ laughter ] she was satisfied. she was satisfied with that answer. [ applause ] not going to lie, if you watch the show, you know this is one of my favorite people. pope francis. pope francis continues to surprise and amaze. this morning pope francis said that evolution and creationism do not necessarily contradict each other.
12:39 am
even more amazing, he said his girlfriend feels the same way. [ laughter ] what? that guy plays -- i said it once, i said it a thousand times, that guy plays by his own rules. this is interesting. north korean leader kim jong-un visited an orphanage over the weekend. well actually it wasn't an orphanage when he got there. [ laughter ] hey that's good, that's good. that's good because that was a test. every now and then we put in a joke just to make sure you're not monsters. if you react the way you react we know you're not, so very good. wasn't an orphanage when he got there, though. just a regular house. now it's an orphanage. [ laughter ] look away -- you got to give it up. you've got to give it up.
12:40 am
[ applause ] you've got to give it up to his pr team. what'd you do yesterday? i opened an orphanage. this is a -- you guys -- here, let's just move on. this is a weird story. dominican officials say that they arrested a woman trying to smuggle over $69,000 in a briefcase and more than $70,000 in her stomach. when asked what she was planning on using the money for she said, "to buy a second briefcase." [ laughter ] this doesn't fit. this briefcase didn't fit $139,000. i have $70,000 left over. i'm getting on a plane in five minutes. i'm going to have to eat $70,000.
12:41 am
this is a little troubling. during a speech at m.i.t. on friday, elon musk, the founder of tesla motors, said that artificial intelligence could be our biggest threat. said siri, "i don't understand, our thickest bread?" [ laughter ] this is nuts. this is nuts. after breaking up with her boyfriend, a woman in china spent a week living in a kfc. she's still really sad but she smells great. [ laughter ] that's right. she got dumped by her boyfriend and spent a week living in a kfc. authorities are calling it the slowest suicide attempt ever. [ laughter ] [ whispers ] it wasn't an orphanage when he got there.
12:42 am
[ laughter ] i love this story. a man in georgia was sent back to jail, he was sent back to jail after mistakenly texting "do you have some weed?" to his probation officer. [ laughter ] even worse, he used his one phone call to ask, "is that a no?" [ laughter ] listen to this, last thursday was the beginning of thailand's vegetarian festival where some participants shoved knives, swords, umbrellas and other objects through their faces. which sounds pretty bizarre until you remember that american vegetarians put kale directly into their mouths. [ laughter and applause ] terrifying. terrifying. [ applause ]
12:43 am
not sure -- i am not sure -- i will just come right out and say it, i am not sure how to feel about this. a new company called shuttle has launched a ride-sharing service which will take kids to school. experts are calling it uber for kids and tinder for pedophiles. [ laughter ] that was the second test. sometimes we put in a second test. we hope after the first test you'll let your guards down and reveal your true selves. you guys are doing great. you are good. you are an excellent group of people. this is amazing. a florida man who was arrested at a halloween party in 2012 for assaulting a drag queen with a tiki torch while dressed in a kkk robe, is now running for mayor of his town. and to give you some idea how crazy florida is, he's the democrat. [ laughter ] and finally, a woman in south carolina was arrested
12:44 am
after stealing novelty sex products from the mall. though i'm guessing she wasn't all that upset when they handcuffed her. ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome, everybody, and welcome to the 8g band tonight, mr. brad paisley, give it up for brad paisley. [ cheers and applause ] he'll be joining us later as a guest and he's kind enough to fill in with the band, which is an unpaid position, so that is really -- tells you the kind of guy he is. fred, how are you? >> fred: i'm doing great, how are you? >> seth: i'm doing great. we just had a week off, did you have a good week off? >> fred: great week off, yes. >> seth: i'm always so excited when i see you after a week off because i feel like there's no one i know who accomplishes more things, does more interesting things. and the one thing i worry about is when we talk about it i do feel like sometimes people watching at home might think
12:45 am
you're just making it up off the top of your head but i know that you're telling me the truth. [ laughter ] and -- i was dying to ask you about this because i heard, this is true, that you started a food truck? >> fred: i did. i started a food truck. and it's in the shape of a water slide. so it's a sort of moving water slide on wheels. and it's -- you know, like it's ornate and complicated and instead of water coming down, food comes down. you know, the various -- various chilies and soups and -- >> seth: so i'm sorry, so you don't ride -- the slide is not to be ridden on. so i walk up to this truck which looks like -- it's a truck that looks like a water slide. >> fred: yeah. but what's really nice about it, it has twisty turns and everything and it shows up -- >> seth: how many -- how many like -- like, floors is this truck? >> fred: four floors. >> seth: okay. >> fred: and it's pretty high up. and it's a really complex series of -- >> seth: so is the kitchen at the top? >> fred: the kitchen is at the top, yes. so they'll make potatoes or
12:46 am
whatever and they'll roll them down. and that's the fun of it is, you know, seeing it all come down. >> seth: right. but unfortunately the menu is way up top too, so you don't really know what's coming down. [ laughter ] because it's hard to read. >> seth: yeah. >> fred: so you just sort of shout up, "hey, can i have some lunch?" and then it all starts coming down. >> seth: right. it doesn't seem like the most inventive menu if one of these things is potatoes. >> fred: yeah, well we're working on that. right now it's potatoes, soups, a couple sandwiches, we don't know -- >> seth: soups seem to be the least fun thing to get delivered via slide. >> fred: no it's fun. because the soup comes down the slide. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, that's great, fred. congratulations. >> fred: thank you. >> seth: give it up for fred armisen, everybody. >> fred: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so happy to be back after a week off. the nice thing about a week off, i got to go -- brought my family, my parents, my brother and i went to pittsburgh last monday for monday night football. [ cheers ] got some pittsburgh in the house? very exciting. went to a monday night football
12:47 am
game, it was really exciting, the steelers won. and we went to the airport to fly back to our various homes and my dad and i were flying to new york and our flight was leaving first. my mom was going home to new hampshire, my brother was going to l.a., but they came and they were sitting with us in the waiting area for our flights. while we were waiting to board i realized it had been so long since i'd been in an airport with my family. we just don't fly together anymore. and i forgot how -- my mother hates silence. so much. she talks so loud in public. and just says the craziest things. she just cannot stop talking. and so she'll say things like she said to my father and i, "you guys better board soon because you can't miss the flight." and i had to say, "you don't decide when to board, they tell you when to board, i can't --" and she's like, "well, just trust me, traveling with your father, he'll wait till the last minute and then there's no room for your overhead and you've got to gate check it." and i'm like, "be quiet, why are you yelling?" and then it's totally crazy. on our -- in pittsburgh,
12:48 am
traveling to new york, tim gunn from "project runway," is in our boarding area. he walks over, you can start boarding, and my mom has been so loud. she's been so loud. all of a sudden she gets really quiet while she starts doing this. [ laughter ] but it's so weird. i felt like everybody in the boarding area immediately thought, "what happened to that lady that was talking so loud?" and let me tell you this, i feel like i'm friendly when people come over to me. i worked at "snl," i saw a lot of people, a lot of hosts, a lot of the celebrities be really friendly when people approached them. i have never seen a nicer person than tim gunn. i didn't even go over to tim gunn -- [ applause ] i didn't say hello to him because i knew that if i went over i would bring my whole family with me and then my mother would just start yelling at him. like, "i thought it was you! and then i said to --" she would narrate the last five minutes. tim gunn was so nice. everybody came up to tim gunn, he would stand up, he would shake their hand, he would talk to them, he was so kind.
12:49 am
then he got on our flight and our flight got delayed for an hour and everybody was in a terrible mood except for tim gunn who was like bringing up the energy of the plane. at one point a guy gave him his phone, and i hear tim gunn on the phone saying, "hi, carol, this is tim gunn, i'm with your husband bob, the flight's delayed an hour but we're making it work." you are the nicest person. [ applause ] so that is my takeaway is that tim gunn for me has set a new bar for human kindness and i hope that i can -- i'm aspiring to live up to that. you guys we have an amazing show for you tonight. two of country music's biggest superstars, brad paisley and carrie underwood are here. [ cheers ] so exciting. i've mentioned this before on the show. true story. brad paisley sang at my wedding. and hopefully it will never come to this but carrie underwood has agreed to sing at our divorce. [ laughter ] again, i hope it never happens. but that would be amazing.
12:50 am
and being a country singer i have to assume she has a song about it. [ laughter ] they seem like those are the two. like it's either things are going really well or things aren't going well at all. >> definitely. >> seth: i think weddings and divorces are perfect. also stopping by from the new series "alpha house," my friend mark consuelos will be with us. [ cheers and applause ] can't wait to talk to him. and we will have music from t.i. [ cheers and applause ] very exciting. now we here at the show believe that no matter how different two things are, they can still have common ground. and to prove it, it's time once again for "venn diagrams." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you remember "venn diagrams?" we take two seemingly separate groups and find out what they have in common. the midterm elections are right around the corner. so on one side we have "the day before election day." on the other we have "election day." and in the middle we have "days when people don't vote."
12:51 am
[ laughter ] halloween's almost here. on one side we have "candy corn." on the other side we have "johnny depp movies." in the middle we have "things you think you like but then you try them and remember you don't." next on one side we have "beyonce." on the other side we have "owen wilson's nose." i don't know what this could be. let's see. "to the left, to the left." [ laughter and applause ] i say that as a fellow lefty. moving on. on one side we have "president obama." on the other side we have "democrats running for senate." and in the middle we have -- oh, no, they're running away from him, they're running away from him. ♪ oh, he can't catch them. [ laughter ]
12:52 am
all right. next, on one side we have "nuclear power plants." and on the other side we have "nude photos." let's see. "things that leak." [ laughter ] holiday season's almost upon us. on one side we have "getting trampled on black friday." on the other side we have "shouting, 'nascar sucks!'" and in the middle we have "ways to die at walmart." [ laughter and applause ] moving on. on one side we have "skinny jeans." on the other side we have "iraq." let's see what's in the middle. "things americans can't get out of." [ laughter and applause ] and finally, on one side we have "ebola." on the other side we have "jets quarterback geno smith's passes." i wonder what's in the middle. "things that can't be caught through the air." [ cheers and applause ] that's "venn diagrams." we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ]
12:53 am
♪ come on! wait for me! there it is. ah! hurry up. you're heavy. are you sure these letters will get to santa? yes, of course. hold still. almost there. a little bit higher. i can't hold you up much longer. ah! whoa! [ all giggle ] ♪ hi, fellas. hi, virginia. why are you on the floor? [ female announcer ] bring your letter to santa into macy's and we'll donate to the make-a-wish® foundation. together, we'll collect a million reasons to believe. and we'll donate to the make-a-wish® foundation. ♪ and♪we'll donate to the make-a-wish® foundation.
12:54 am
get to t-mobile and knock out your gift list. with zero down and zero interest on the samsung galaxy note 4, the note 10.1, the gear s and more. the big guys job just got easier. it's about getting to the finish line. in life, it's how you get there that matters most. like when i found out i had a blood clot in my leg. my doctor said that it could travel to my lungs and become an even bigger problem. so he talked to me about xarelto®. >>xarelto® is the first oral prescription blood thinner
12:55 am
proven to treat and help prevent dvt and pe that doesn't require regular blood monitoring or changes to your diet. for a prior dvt i took warfarin, which required routine blood testing and dietary restrictions. not this time. while i was taking xarelto®, i still had to stop racing, but i didn't have to deal with that blood monitoring routine. >>don't stop taking xarelto®, rivaroxaban, unless your doctor tells you to. while taking xarelto®, you may bruise more easily and it may take longer for bleeding to stop. xarelto® may increase your risk of bleeding if you take certain medicines. xarelto® can cause serious bleeding, and in rare cases, may be fatal. get help right away if you develop unexpected bleeding, unusual bruising, or tingling. if you have had spinal anesthesia while on xarelto®, watch for back pain or any nerve or muscle related signs or symptoms. do not take xarelto® if you have an artificial heart valve or abnormal bleeding. tell your doctor before all planned medical or dental procedures. before starting xarelto®, tell your doctor about any conditions such as kidney, liver, or bleeding problems.
12:56 am
xarelto® is proven to reduce the risk of dvt and pe, with no regular blood monitoring and no known dietary restrictions. treatment with xarelto® was the right move for me. ask your doctor about xarelto® today. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. on thursday of last week,
12:57 am
dr. craig spencer became new york's first resident to be diagnosed with ebola. according to hospital officials, dr. spencer is in serious but stable condition. joining us now with an update to the crisis, from the centers for disease control, dr. henry begosian. >> hi. thanks for having me, seth. >> seth: so, doctor, while we reported that before going to the hospital with symptoms, dr. spencer rode the subway, took a cab and went bowling. how worried should new yorkers be? >> seth, it is important to remember that ebola is not an airborne virus, so as long as you weren't exposed to dr. spencer's bodily fluids, you are not at risk. >> seth: so, if you rode the new york subway this weekend, you don't have to worry? >> well, you don't have to worry about catching ebola. [ laughter ] but it's still the subway, seth. so, it's very likely you caught something else. [ laughter ] >> seth: meaning? >> well, seth, the subway is basically a petri dish on rails. [ laughter ] you know, not getting a flu shot and riding the subway is what we in the medical profession refer to as "asking for it." [ laughter ]
12:58 am
and it's not just the flu, seth. the new york subway is home to a number of other diseases both old and new. there's the spanish influenza. legionnaires' disease. sailor's cough. bishop's fever. the viper's lament. restless torso syndrome. and, of course, rat sars. [ laughter ] >> seth: rat sars? >> yes, if you are ever on the subway and you see a rat with a tiny medical mask, steer clear. he has rat sars. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, well, thank you. thank you very much for joining us, doctor. [ applause ] now, as we mentioned, it was also reported that dr. spencer went bowling in brooklyn the day before admitting himself. joining us now is pat monroe, who was at the bowling alley the same night as dr. spencer. how are you, pat? >> huh. it has been a harrowing few days, seth. [ laughter ] i can't believe how close i came to catching ebola. >> seth: okay, now -- now pat, in order to catch ebola you need to come into contact with an infected person's bodily fluids. that's not really going to
12:59 am
happen bowling. >> ha, maybe not for you, seth. but when i bowl a strike, i have been known to celebrate by open-mouth kissing a stranger in an adjacent lane. [ laughter ] >> seth: you shouldn't do that. >> yeah. [ laughter ] i'm certainly not going to do it now that i know about ebola. >> seth: no, you should never open-mouth kiss a stranger from an adjacent lane. >> oh, you sound like every manager at every bowling alley i've ever been to, seth. >> seth: okay, that's more than enough of you, pat. >> seth, hey, hey, hey. has anybody made this joke yet? ebowler. >> seth: yeah. yeah, everyone's made it. >> okay, wait. how about this one? ebowler could strike at any time. can you spare a vaccine? has anybody said that? [ laughter ] >> seth: i mean -- no. probably not, no. >> hah, sweet! who's the loser now, dad? [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: on friday, governors
1:00 am
chris christie and andrew cuomo instituted 21- day quarantines for all health workers returning from west africa. many health experts have criticized the move, but here to defend it is founder of quarantine now, rich santinelli. thank you for being here, rich. >> thanks for having me, seth. >> seth: being pro-quarantine, how do you answer the criticism that this will dissuade health care workers from going to africa to help with the ebola crisis? >> hey, you want to go to africa? be my guest. you want to help with ebola crisis? fine. you just won "best idiot" at the dumb guy awards. you want to come back to america? fine, get in the tent. >> seth: all right, now. do you recommend quarantine for all returning health workers or just those with symptoms? >> hey, if you've got symptoms, get in the tent. if you don't got symptoms, get in the tent. if you just got back from europe, get in the tent. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry, rich, but why europe? >> because people who come back from europe are the worst. the cheese was delicious! everyone rides bikes!
1:01 am
the police sirens sound different! i don't want to hear about it. get in the tent! >> seth: all right. [ laughter and applause ] now, kaci -- kaci hickox, the nurse in new jersey, was released from quarantine this afternoon but she's hired a lawyer. how do you respond to her claims that her civil rights were violated? >> what? what's she got to complain about? she got delivered a beautiful tent. i live in a 12-story walkup above a jackhammer testing facility. i'd love to live in a tent like that. plus i'd be able to get away from my wife, carol. ugh. "you drink too much. you need to bathe every day." oh, what, what's that? i can't hear you. i'm in the quarantine tent with some smoking-hot chick who just got back from france having the time of my life! >> seth: all right, thank you. mr. santinelli and thank you to all of our guests. we'll be right back with carrie underwood and brad paisley. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
1:02 am
discover card. i just received a text from discover hq? yep. we check every purchase, every day and alert you if anything looks suspicious. nice. i'm looking into some suspicious activity myself. madame that is not a changing table. at discover, we treat you like you'd treat you. get the it card at i was out for a bike ride. i didn't think i'd have a heart attack. but i did. i'm mike, and i'm very much alive. now my doctor recommends a
1:03 am
bayer aspirin regimen to help prevent another heart attack. be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. at devry university we can to by maximizing qualifying transfer credits, so you can graduate sooner. all you need... is a good reason to finish now. get started at
1:04 am
1:05 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ]
1:06 am
>> seth: welcome back, everyone. our first guests are two of the biggest names in country music. you can see them host the cma awards for the seventh time on wednesday, november 5th. please welcome brad paisley and carrie underwood! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> hi, guys! [ cheers and applause ] >> hey. >> seth: thank you for being here. >> thank you. >> seth: you look beautiful. >> thank you, thank you. >> seth: i've already seen you, i've already seen you. [ laughter ] >> it's a given. you always look beautiful. >> seth: this is your seventh time hosting this awards show together. which is incredible in its own right. but this is the first time that you are doing it pregnant. congratulations. >> thank you, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and i was there last year and costume changes seemed to be a huge of it last year.
1:07 am
>> yes. >> seth: you were in like ten different costumes. is that -- will it be less of that? are you still going to go for it? >> i don't know, i mean i definitely have outfit like, a.d.d., i think. i can't stay in the same one. we'll see. we're figuring that out within the next couple of days, so -- >> seth: could you carry that burden if she can't? >> oh, yeah, i'll just change every five minutes. [ light laughter ] >> seth: last time i fell feel you did it in sweat pants, couldn't care less. [ laughter ] >> nobody cares what i'm wearing at all. >> seth: i have found, tell me if this is true, i got the sense from that night that it's an incredibly close-knit community, the country music community. and because of that it seems like you can poke fun at people in the audience and they know it's coming from a place of love and friendship. which i thought, is that true, are there people in the audience that you like making fun of? >> i mean, i feel like we know them well enough to know like, who really like laughs at themselves and who takes themselves a little more seriously. >> seth: who laughs at themselves as well? who has a good sense of humor? >> tim and faith are great. >> yeah. >> we've picked on them a bunch. of course, when you put out barbie dolls -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: so, they put out their
1:08 am
own barbie dolls. >> they did, yeah. that was -- >> a few years back. >> -- that was the biggest gift we've ever been given. [ laughter ] >> we were excited -- >> seth: yeah. >> -- about that one. >> seth: so what -- you're a week out, what do you need to have happen? who do you want to have put out like a line of dolls? >> dolls would be fine but naked photos are great. [ laughter ] i mean -- >> we'll go for that. >> do you have any? >> any like wish -- >> no him, i'm talking to him. [ laughter ] >> any naked photos? oh, no. do you? >> seth: do i have any naked photos? >> yeah? >> seth: yes, but only ones that i send to my doctor. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> seth: they're all does this look okay? how about this, should i be worried about this? they're not really that sexy. >> celebrity mole. >> yes celebrity mole, there you go. you could do that. >> we could do that. >> seth: if things go really bad, you do that. >> yeah, right. >> seth: now you don't -- you collaborate other times as well. i saw you in concert, brad, and you guys have sung on each other's albums and you have duets and you do something with carrie in your show that is so -- the technology so is great that it sometimes back fires on you because it's a hologram of you.
1:09 am
>> yeah. >> seth: and then people think you're actually there. >> yeah. people -- i see tweets -- i know when you have a show because on my timeline it's like -- oh my god, carrie was here! and then we've had like radio people who are you know, wonderful, but they'll be mad because they think i'm in town and i didn't come by and say hi. so, they'll like call label people and be upset. >> the hologram is very stuck up. it does not socialize. [ laughter ] >> seth: no. >> keeps to herself. >> seth: i also noticed -- >> she won't talk to me. >> seth: -- that the hologram did the one song and then left. >> that's it. >> seth: didn't hang out afterwards. no autographs. >> no. >> seth: and you -- the other thing i liked about your concert, i saw you in concert -- >> the only other thing. >> seth: the two things. [ laughter ] your hologram was great. >> thank you. >> seth: and then there was a bunch of other stuff. and then the other -- [ laughter ] -- you give a guitar to a kid in audience. >> yes. >> seth: and it was so outstanding. you didn't realize the night i was there but it was -- because there's a camera on him. it was a kid on his dad's shoulders. it was so wonderful, he was so excited.
1:10 am
and then the kid hit like ten different people in the head. [ laughter ] >> did he? >> seth: just was so -- >> yeah. >> seth: i thought you were going to be liable for multiple -- >> that's one of my favorite things. we buy a guitar every night and i give one away. i feel like it's the kind of thing a kid -- you never know what will happen. they might learn to play it, might change their life. we bill them. [ laughter ] >> seth: you can't just give it away. >> no, no, of course. that would cost a lot. >> do they at least get a discount? >> no, i'm kidding, we don't. >> seth: they get a discount -- >> i know. he thought i was serious. [ laughter ] no, we always pick stupid carrie. >> we're a week out, we're tired. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah, i thought that was the thing i didn't like about the show, the invoicing process for the guitar was such a long -- >> it was. it was really weird. >> seth: it was like 35 minutes in the middle of show -- two forms of i.d. [ light laughter ] i think you guys have spent enough time together there's a little bit of blending and tastes. because you guys recently had some promotional -- here's video
1:11 am
art for you, brad. >> yeah, that's new video, i'm covered in water, it's raining. >> it's raining. perfect storm, that's great. and then here's -- from your single, carrie. >> wait a minute. >> it's raining, i'm covered in water. >> seth: look at this. [ cheers ] now, i want to point something out. you did the exact same pose as carrie. not one person went whoo! [ laughter ] >> no, i know. >> seth: i think that proves that if somebody has the right to do this, it's carrie. [ cheers and applause ] >> i would. >> i would agree. >> that was great. >> go reshoot for your video. >> what's bad is we're on the same label and they had -- the same video department had to approve both videos. sure, these are both great. do the same one. >> seth: do the same one. they saved -- they saved money on rain. th one rain guy. [ laughter ] >> exactly. yes. they actually just put brad's face on my body there. >> seth: yeah. >> really saved money. see? >> seth: yep. now that you -- it's definitely -- it's some really bad photoshop. this is not the same technology of your wonderful holograms. >> right. >> no.
1:12 am
>> seth: now, i don't know if brad told you because brad and i were supposed to -- our wives and us were going on vacation. and brad did not show up. >> well, i was late. i did show up. >> seth: he was late a day. because you had the best reason to ever be late. >> best excuse in the history of anything. which i went to afghanistan and surprised the troops in afghanistan. therefore i missed you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: on air force one. >> yep. >> seth: yeah. >> which the most bizarre thing -- the greatest thing about it was seeing those troops in afghanistan getting to say thank you on behalf of this country. but 24 hours exactly from the moment i was onstage at bagram air force base, i was catching trout in a stream in east tennessee with you. >> seth: it was only the second time in my life i went fly fishing. and you were kind enough to take this picture. this is very exciting for me because i am a city boy and i am not good at these things. >> he's not. but look at that. >> seth: look at that guy. [ cheers and applause ] >> look at that.
1:13 am
>> seth: and i -- i had a theory that when the new yorker comes to this place they let out the fat dumb fish. [ laughter ] >> they must. >> seth: they have the fat dummy and they say, oh, that guy's never going to catch anything, release that dummy. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: he just sort of swims over. it was really exciting. you made me feel bad because you said i looked like an 8-year-old. >> you did, it looked like -- again, like a t-ball picture. [ laughter ] it's like -- i don't know how you put up with him. >> i don't either. >> seth: yeah. seven years, though. >> yeah. >> seven years. >> seth: you guys are common law married in a lot of states. >> yeah, really. >> seth: if you host seven award shows you are. >> it's really fun. >> seth: but congratulations. i can't wait to watch. and thank you guys so much for being here. give it up for carrie underwood and brad paisley, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] the cma awards will air november 5th live on nbc. we'll be right back with mark consuelos! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
1:14 am
♪ ah, push it. ♪ ♪ push it. ♪ p...push it real good! ♪ ♪ ow! ♪ oooh baby baby. if you're salt-n-pepa, you tell people to push it. ♪ push it real good. it's what you do. ♪ ah. push it. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. ♪ ah. push it. i'm pushing. i'm pushing it real good! (rbut now that we have thea tempur-padjustable base, it's even better. (evie abat); i go up... heeeeyyyy. (vo): discover how tempur-pedic can move you. and now through december 1st, save up to $500 on a tempur-pedic mattress and adjustable base.
1:15 am
it's part of a hershey's bar. we break it. we bite it. we sneak it. we smoosh it. we savor it. we love it. hershey's is mine, yours, our chocolate. it's customer appreciation at subway! we're saying thanks with two of your favorite six-inch sandwiches for $2 each! the meatball marinara and the cold cut combo. join our customer appreciation celebration today. subway. eat fresh. introducing... a pm pain reliever that dares to work all the way until...
1:16 am
the am. new aleve pm the only one to combine a safe sleep aid plus the 12 hour strength of aleve. okay patrick, let's go base, shark, blitz. the nfl trusts duracell quantum to power their game day communication. abort! abort! he's keeping it! duracell quantum. lasts up to 35% longer than the competition.
1:17 am
1:18 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everyone. our next guest plays the womanizing senator andy guzman
1:19 am
on the critically acclaimed political comedy series "alpha house." all ten episodes of the second season are currently streaming on amazon prime instant video. let's take a look. >> where are we now? >> you are on new jersey avenue and southwest drive. >> there, an exit door. >> i'll go first, there might be cameras. >> we don't mind. >> are you trained to engage the media? >> anybody can do a tv interview, i did one. >> when, after a science fair? >> after i rescued a woman swept out to sea during sandy. >> local news. this is the majors. i've got this one, kid. >> seth: please welcome mark consuelos! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: so good to see you. >> thank you for having me on the show. >> seth: you look like a million dollars as always. >> so do you. >> seth: such a stylish man. >> okay. >> seth: and congratulations on this show. this is such an interesting premise.
1:20 am
it's based on real senators, senator durbin, senator schumer, who do live together, their house in d.c., they're room mates. >> they've been sharing a house i guess over 20 years. these are grown men, not in college sharing a house. making laws for the country. >> seth: right. and then coming back to basically a glorified frat house. >> correct. >> seth: yeah. >> seth: i know it's sort of delicate to ask because your character is a bit of a womanizer. is it based on any one politician? >> i would say it's not really based on one politician. initially it was because he's running back and hispanic that he was based on the marco rubio character -- i mean, senator. [ light laughter ] but that's where it ends. i would say -- i would say that it's more of a cross between silvio berlusconi -- >> seth: right. >> -- former prime minister of italy. >> seth: sure. >> -- and a little bit of john edwards in there. >> seth: gotcha. so, not someone you'd be super psyched to send into the senate. >> no. >> seth: yeah. >> right. >> seth: and you do sort of play -- you're not -- that was a very good clip to describe your character because you're not sort of the most honorable guy. >> no, no, he's all about the
1:21 am
camera and how it can propel him forward. and he has his sights set on the white house. and he's only been in the senate a year which is no big deal for him. >> seth: right. so, he's looking -- >> he's totally qualified. [ light laughter ] >> seth: now, you and your beautiful wife kelly ripa -- >> yep. >> seth: -- just moved in -- [ cheers and applause ] yep. give it up. we just have to give it up. have to give it up for kelly. >> beautiful. she loves you by the way. >> seth: and i love her. she's a -- you know. she's the best. i mean, i can talk about your wife for -- oh my god. [ laughter ] no. you guys just moved into a new house. >> we did. >> seth: how did that go? >> well we moved from soho. >> seth: i remember you guys were in soho. >> to the upper east side. so, we went from being the oldest people in soho to the youngest people on the upper east side. we love it, we love it up there, love it. >> seth: that's great. and your kids. i am always surprised because your kids are always older than i think they are because you guys always look so good. you and your wife are timely. you're timely people. >> we just had them really young. >> seth: there you go. >> yes. >> seth: but this i really like. you were at a parent teacher conference and --
1:22 am
>> yes, our youngest, joaquin, he's 11 and they're studying student government -- i mean u.s. government right now. and the quiz was, name two sitting senators. and he said, one was chuck schumer, which i was very proud of. >> seth: yes. >> and the other one i looked at it and he spelled it very strangely. i don't know if we have a picture or anything >> seth: i have it right here, yeah. >> it said andy guzman. and that's my character on tv. [ laughter ] now -- she gave him credit for that. she gave him credit for that answer. and i said, you gave him credit? she goes, yeah, andy guzman, he's a senator. i said, no, he's not. that's who i play. no, i googled it, and it said he's a u.s. senator from florida. oh my god. >> seth: oh, my goodness. >> great school. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, that is a good school. >> great school. >> seth: you don't -- i'll tell you why it's not a great school is they couldn't afford a second line for the second name. [ laughter ] like -- they'd say, yep, they just put 30 here. >> did you know the questions how old you have to be to qualify to work for the senate. >> seth: yeah, so he kind of nailed it. >> yeah.
1:23 am
>> seth: good for him. and then you have a 17-year-old driver's license? >> yes. and, you know, listen. i moved from florida, got my new york driver's license, and i didn't study for it. i think why would i have to study for it? and so it's not that easy. >> seth: i recently went through this and it's not that easy. >> i almost failed. i may or may -- listen, when you go to the dmv, and i was on a soap opera back then, that's like my core audience. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] right. right. >> those ladies there were like, mateo is in the house. and i think i may have cheated. i think they may have passed me. so, i knew how hard it was. i of course didn't tell my son this because i wouldn't want him know i cheated or, you know, was given a pass. so i said, did you study for this driver's permit test? he said, well i took the end of the chapter test. i said, you studied for the whole thing? he goes, no, and i got so angry at him. he went in, there was my core audience again. >> seth: yeah. >> he went in, he nailed it. and he went, eat it! to me. [ laughter ]
1:24 am
i followed him over the summer and i -- kelly was driving -- >> seth: you followed him? >> yeah, driving. i wanted to see what he was up to. >> seth: oh, so he was in one car with kelly and you were behind -- >> i'd be coming home from work and i saw them about maybe 200, 300 yards in front of me, so i just followed him to see how he was doing. >> seth: right. >> he made one right turn. the next right turn he swerves out into the grass. and i go by. i'm like, what happened? she's like, you made him nervous! i was just driving behind him at a safe distance. >> seth: yeah, that's going to happen. >> yeah that's going to happen. so be careful out there if you see a kid that looks like me coming. >> seth: and congratulations on passing your driver's test. >> thank you. >> seth: i had the same thing. and when i went in, it was just that same -- there was a recognition from the guy. >> right. >> seth: and i just was thinking the rest of my life, he said you know who didn't pass it the first time. [ light laughter ] it's not that easy. >> no. there's a lot of rules. >> seth: a lot of rules and a lot of times where it says, when she starts slowing down for the exit, 25 feet, 50 feet, 100 feet. i don't know what any of those things look like. >> i said nothing, just cruise write through. >> seth: look, i wrote on a lot
1:25 am
of them, "i'll do whatever i need to do." [ laughter ] >> right. >> seth: i'll do whatever i need to do, you just tell me. thanks so much for being here. mark consuelos, everybody. check out "alpha house" streaming now on amazon prime. we'll be right back with music from t.i. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ get to t-mobile and knock out your gift list.
1:26 am
with zero down and zero interest on the samsung galaxy note 4, the note 10.1, the gear s and more. the big guys job just got easier. we givecold your you give them the giggles. tylenol® cold helps relieve your worst cold and flu symptoms. but for everything we do, we know you do so much more. tylenol® ♪wefa la la la la.♪ies today ♪come on everybody say... ♪fa la la la.
1:27 am
with a favorite book is nice. but i think women would rather curl up with their favorite man. but here's the thing: about half of men over 40 have some degree of erectile dysfunction. well, viagra helps guys with ed get and keep an erection. and remember, you only take it when you need it. ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain; it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. ask your doctor about viagra.
1:28 am
1:29 am
1:30 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: tonight's musical guest is a multi-talented, grammy award-winning hip-hop icon who has sold more than 14 million albums and 30 million singles. he just released his ninth studio album. and tonight, he brought jeezy and watch the duck with him to perform his new single, "g'[ bleep ]," please welcome, t.i. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i'm a rich kid like i don't know i can change if i wanna but i won't though ♪ ♪ do it right even when i'm on the wrong road real talk from the heart what i'm known for ♪ ♪ skinny jeans i don't do those i'm the starter sub-par oughta shoot for ♪ ♪ fully automatic chopper
1:31 am
you could shoot though now i'm movin' five mil' when i shoot dough ♪ ♪ audemar hublot one point five on the two-do ♪ ♪ old hustle, new flow old money, new suckers prayin' i'ma chill but i'm too cold ♪ ♪ long as i'm around what they need you for ridin' in the chevy toting three bricks ♪ ♪ since nobody wanna make g shh ♪ ♪ this is for the gangsters for the pimps and hoes say what this is for the dopeboy ♪ ♪ trappers selling halves and hoes since nobody wanna make g shh ♪ ♪ they want g shh give it to 'em give it to 'em now they want g shh ♪ ♪ they want okay i'm the one to give it to 'em ♪ ♪ if you don't know me let me tell you something shawty still got them choppers ♪ ♪ make you run from it camouflage, dog tag got 'em following when you see me ♪
1:32 am
♪ better haul ass keep it g at all costs what you call that crack rock, hip hop ♪ ♪ i done all that certified trap sucker, fall back a broke rapper ♪ ♪ he may entertain all that all left field keep it true, boo save the flash ♪ ♪ in the dance for a new dude keep speaking for the ones who ain't got a voice ♪ ♪ kill 'em dead only when they leave no other choice how i see it if you ain't down ♪ ♪ to die 'bout it don't write my time, slime why we ain't talking about it ♪ ♪ still riding in the chevy toting three bricks since nobody wanna make g shh ♪ ♪ this is for the gangsters for the pimps and hoes this is for the dopeboy trappers ♪ ♪ selling halves and hoes they want g shh give it to 'em give it to 'em now ♪ ♪ they g shh and i'm the one to give it to them ♪ ♪ now what the -- is an ounce we bought an lb we don't even do the nine ♪
1:33 am
♪ we sell it by the whole and i'ma take this to trial they got nothin' on me they be on the champagne ♪ ♪ i'm about to od got a bag full of birds and then the -- gettin robbed bars on the trap doors ♪ ♪ got it looking like a vault used to hit the highway over twenty of them things ♪ ♪ young one hit the club with the twenty unchanged when jay was beefin' with nas i was selling -- ♪ ♪ when game was beefin' with 50 i was doing the same thing i was at the hospital ♪ ♪ when meechy got shot what you boys talking about i like pac this for the g shh ♪ ♪ this is for the gangsters for the pimps and hoes this is for the dopeboy trappers ♪ ♪ selling halves and hoes they want g shh i give it to them i give it to 'em now ♪ ♪ they want g they want g everybody loves g i'm the one ♪ ♪ to give it to them i don't want to give to you ♪ ♪ this is for the g's they want me ♪
1:34 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: t.i.! the album "paperwork" is available everywhere now. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ]
1:35 am
1:36 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to carrie underwood and brad paisley, mark consuelos, t.i., jeezy, watch the duck and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly," we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
1:37 am
♪ >> carson: well, hello there! thank you for tuning in. it's "last call." i am your host, carson daly. here's what we got tonight coming to you from queen of the night at the paramount hotel. for our music, rey pila from mexico city debuts from fox theater pamona. alalso, for our comedy, it's al about leo flowers. but first, we're gonna dedicate a little time to the new movie, "listen up, phillip." it's star, jason schwartzman, and the film's writer and director, alex ross perry. so, for more, we go now to bar nine for the "last call" spotlight. ♪ >> since doing this movie, i've had two verbal altercations with people. and i never had them before now. that might just be coincidence. >> how's that feel in real life then, when you have those? >> it does -- it felt weird.


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on