tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC December 30, 2016 11:34pm-12:38am EST
all right. nice weekend. wet monday and tuesday. and then by friday and saturday, cold enough for snow. stay tuned. >> all right, glenn. i'm keith jones. thank you for watching. "the tonight show" is next. be safe this weekend. make it a great night too. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- dwayne johnson. kevin nealon. musical guest gary clark jr.
and featuring the legendary roots cr. >> questlove: 588. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, welcome! thank you. welcome. thank you for being here. enjoy. sit down, relax. now, listen. something in my teeth. welcome. thank you so much. that's too nice. welcome, welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome, to "the tonight show." this is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show -- this is the show to be at. oh, man.
thank you for being here. here's what people are talking about. oh, there's a chance of snow in the forecast for new york city, this weekend. [ cheers and applause ] just remember the simple rule. if someone's lying in the snow on their back, snow angel. if they're lying on their face, santacon. [ cheers and applause ] be nice to them. walk around them. of course, christmas is just a a couple weeks away, and in case you haven't heard, the hottest toys this year are "hatchimals." which are stuffed animals that hatch from eggs, and learn to walk and talk. they say that these things are so fun that kids will play with them for ten full minutes before going back to their iphones. [ laughter and applause ] ten minutes of fun that don't involve -- then they'll watch youtube videos of kids opening their hatchimals. [ light laughter ] that's right. they're called "hatchimals" and they're toy animals that hatch out of an egg. and if you can't get one, just give your kid a real egg and tell him it takes a while. [ laughter and applause ] may be a baby chicken one day. get this.
i read that one person bought $23,000 worth of "hatchimals" to resell. and now parents who can't find any are furious. then the buyer said, "relax. they'll all be available at the trump tower gift shop with a a slight mark-up." [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] and this week, the u.s. senate has its annual secret santa gift exchange. which means every senator picked a name from a hat and was like, "not ted cruz, not ted cruz, not ted cruz. ah, i got ted!" [ applause ] that's right. the senate had its annual "secret santa", and this year, 59 senators participated. it was mainly democrats, since republicans got everything they wanted in november. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: hey! ho! >> jimmy: a lot of people are talking about this. in addition to becoming president, it was revealed that donald trump plans to hold another title as well. take a look at this.
>> as if running the u.s. isn't enough, trump wants to keep his old day job on the reality show "the apprentice." nbc and trump's campaign say he will remain as an executive producer for the show, even after he becomes president. >> jimmy: yeah. trump will remain the executive producer of "the apprentice." trump said, "i'm not actually going to do anything. i'm only interested in the title." and then -- [ laughter and applause ] then everyone's like, "are you talking about being a producer or being president? which one are you talking about?" hey, this is pretty cool. ryan gosling was honored in hollywood this week, by putting his hand and footprints in concrete outside the iconic chinese theater. ryan gosling, yeah. it got -- [ cheers ] it got weird when gosling pressed his hands into the concrete and it went -- ♪ [ laughter ] oh, a little health news here. a new study found that long-term marijuana use can damage your eyesight. which i guess explains why this
guy's always wearing sunglasses. i mean, now i get it. [ laughter and applause ] finally, a holiday revival of the classic disney cartoon, "duck tales", is set to premier this summer. [ cheers ] in fact, they even released the opening credits, and it looks like they -- they're finally addressing a major issue with the original series. take a look at this. ♪ ♪ none of us are wearing pants here in ducksburg ♪ ♪ we don't cover up our junk with our hands it's been duckward ♪ ♪ you might think it's weird but you can see our duck nuts ducktales whoo ♪ ♪ you can also see our butts which we call ducktales whoo ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! thank you very much. welcome. thank you for watching. thank you very much. guys, first up, we have a fun show tonight. this is the one. [ cheers and applause ] this is the one to be at. he's a giant movie star. he is the sexiest man alive. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: hey! come on! >> jimmy: he's also doing this really cool thing. he's the host of the upcoming "rock the troops" special, saluting the brave men and women of america's armed forces. the one and only dwayne johnson is here. [ cheers and applause ] we love him. i love that dude. >> steve: a delight. >> jimmy: i love him. yeah. plus we love this guy too. very funny man. he stars with matt leblanc in the new comedy series "man with a plan." kevin nealon is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ]
and if you like good music -- you guys enjoy good music? [ cheers ] this guy is one of the -- kirk? >> he's my favorite. >> jimmy: he's your favorite? i love this guy. gary clark, jr. is here! [ cheers and applause ] "the story of sonny boy slim." he can jam. oh, my gosh. he's just amazing. i just love how -- he's one of the best guitarists out there. guys, we have exactly 11 shows left before we go on christmas break. [ audience aws ] which means it's time for that beloved "tonight show" tradition. it's time for 12 days of christmas sweaters! here we go! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ twelve days of christmas sweaters eleven shows left ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: that is right. every show between now and christmas, we're giving one lucky audience member a snazzy christmas sweater. [ cheers and applause ] from the countdown to christmas cabinet. since there are 11 shows left, let's open door number 11.
[ cheers and applause ] oh. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] wow. oh, look at this. whoa. this is -- [ cheers and applause ] merry woofmas. merry woofmas. now, let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater. [ cheers and applause ] everyone, look at your seat number. look at your seat number, and if i call your number, i need you to jump up, let me know where you are. quest, can i get a drum roll, please? [ drum roll ] who wants me to pick their number? it's a good one! [ cheers and applause ] it is 408. ♪
[ cheers and applause ] hey, right there. oh, hey. how are you? not bad. come on over, pal. how are you? number 408 is so close to us here. hi. how you doing? >> it's beautiful. >> jimmy: i know it is. yeah. >> thank you so much. dreams do come true. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> mary kate gallagher. >> jimmy: what? >> mary kate. >> jimmy: okay. [ light laughter ] but do you add -- is that -- your last name's not kate. >> no, mary kate is my first name. >> jimmy: yes, mary kate. >> gallagher is my last name. >> jimmy: mary kate gallagher. okay that's cool. mary kate gallagher. where are you from? >> chicago. >> jimmy: chicago. that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] we love chicago. it gets cold in chicago. >> it does. it is. >> jimmy: you can use this. >> i could use that, definitely. >> jimmy: would you -- would you like to try this on? it just snaps right on. >> yes, absolutely. >> jimmy: this is perfect, here we go. >> mkg! >> jimmy: mkg, man, let's do this. ♪ oh my goodness. look at that. wow. that is beautiful. it's subtle. it's almost like you don't even know you're wearing a sweater. this is just beautiful.
chicago's going to love it, and we love you for being here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming to the show. congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] mary kate. thanks again to mary kate. stick around. we'll be right back with thank you notes, everybody. shout out to chicago. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ don and i met because i'm a volunteer for meals on wheels. we had an instant connection. what was that? i said, "delivering to you is always a special treat." oh. company, companionship, food... we all need those things. when we get in that spot in life, it's kind of nice to have 'em there. (avo) through the subaru share the love event, we've helped deliver over one point four million meals to those in need. get a new subaru, and we'll donate two hundred and fifty dollars more. ♪put a little love in your heart.♪ lines?an develop fine lines what lines? the chapstick total hydration collection. our advanced skin care formulas instantly smooth
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, everybody. guys, today is friday. that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, i return some e-mails, and of course, i send out "thank you" notes. well, i was running a bit behind. [ cheers and applause ] i was running a bit behind today, so i thought if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool? do you guys mind? [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. i really appreciate that. james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please? ♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: aw. >> jimmy: perfect. >> steve: that's perfect, like a little hatchimal. >> jimmy: that's perfect. [ light laughter ] >> steve: he's so cute. >> jimmy: what's that? he's like -- [ laughter ] >> steve: he's like a sad hatchimal. >> jimmy: you thought that was a hatchimal. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: no, that's james from the roots. >> steve: who? [ laughter ] cute jimmy baseball?
>> jimmy: you thought his head was going to hatch and an animal was going to come out? [ laughter ] we should do that next week. that's a good idea. [ laughter ] he thought it was a hatchimal. ♪ thank you, donald trump, for getting a dog when you move into the white house. that will make two things in the white house going after crotches without permission. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: whoa! whoa. >> jimmy: hey, whoa, whoa. >> steve: hey! whoa! hey! ho-hey! >> jimmy: hey. whoa, whoa, whoa. hey, come on! >> steve: hey, forget about it. [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, picture of shaq being sworn in as sheriff's deputy in georgia, for looking like it was taken on "take your son to work day." [ laughter and applause ] he's big dude. he's a big guy. >> steve: and topping 7'2." >> jimmy: congrats bud, yeah. exactly. >> steve: tallest man on the force. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, patting your back pocket to feel for your wallet, for being an acceptable way to spank yourself.
>> steve: ooh. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: what is that music? >> questlove: baby got back! >> jimmy: was that, like, sexy music? what was that music? [ laughter ] it was like -- ♪ ♪ i got the 12:00 news ♪ >> jimmy: it does sound like that a little bit. ♪ it does sound like that styx song, yeah. "too much time on my hands." ♪ ♪ i got the 12:00 news blues ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, no, yeah. ♪ sitting on this barstool talking like a damn fool got the 12:00 news blues ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ ♪
[ cheers ] ♪ >> steve: nice cape. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i had to rock out the cape, man. >> steve: you got to rock the cape, man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: because i jam so -- it's so sick. >> steve: so huge, it blew the sleeves off. >> jimmy: so raw. >> steve: it turned into a a cape. [ laughter ] raw, man. that's like -- >> jimmy: that's raw. that's -- >> steve: that's like -- >> jimmy: when the fun is that raw -- >> steve: you have to wear a a cape. >> jimmy: when it's two sheets. [ laughter ] i pull out my -- >> steve: so raw, they call it sushi. >> jimmy: exactly, that's right. >> steve: "dude, that beat was sushi." >> jimmy: there you go. it's so raw, it's right. >> steve: "you got to cape it, man." >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> steve: "you cape a good time." [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ sitting on this barstool talking like a damn fool i got the 12:00 news blues ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: sorry. [ cheers ] [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, family holiday photos, for being a
a good way to show people what you would look like if you joined a cult. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: we all wore the same outfit. >> jimmy: happy holidays. [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, ob/gyns, for providing great womb service. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey-oh! hey! ho, ho, ho! [ cheers ] ♪ >> steve: oh, wow. your pen broke. [ laughter ] what happened? you got to get a new pen. >> jimmy: i got to switch over to the other keyboard. >> steve: yeah. that's where we need another hatchimal. >> jimmy: there we go. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, candy canes, for starting out as a a seasonal candy, then turning into a festive shiv. there you go right there. those are my "thank you notes."
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is "people" magazine's sexiest man alive. [ cheers and applause ] ow! he's also the host of the star studded special, "rock the troops" which airs december 13th at 9:00 p.m. on spike tv. ladies and gentlemen, give it up for dwayne johnson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: looking good, smelling good. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: you're a stud. welcome back. >> thank you. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show, we love you. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] it's so good to be back. >> jimmy: we love you. >> yes. >> jimmy: we love having you back. >> love it. >> jimmy: you have the best energy. congrats on this cover. [ cheers and applause ] whoo! my man. how much grief are you getting for being on the cover of the sexiest man alive? >> i mean -- it is -- first of all, it's an honor. >> jimmy: yes, of course. >> and it's really, really cool, right, but yeah, i am getting so much grief, especially from my boys. of course as you can imagine, right, everybody's just -- it's just a continuation of just -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> what's that term? oh [ bleep ] talking.
>> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. i can just see kevin hart just going "oh, kid." >> well, kevin hart demands -- he demands a recount, right now. [ laughter and applause ] he demands a recount. >> jimmy: that's great. >> but i tell kevin, listen, buddy, there's always never. >> jimmy: that's right. there's always never. here's your daughter, jasmine, looking at the "people" magazine. look at how impressed. >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: even she's impressed. >> look at that face. she is loving it. >> jimmy: are you kidding me? oh my god. >> i tell you, i have turned into a monster at home, though. that's the thing. >> jimmy: you are. >> right, so any time you get a a title like the "sexiest man alive." >> jimmy: of course. >> so now, with my lady lauren at home, it's just now i don't even have to speak in full sentences. so now for example, you know, go ahead and ask me, "hey, you know, how'd you sleep last night, baby?" >> jimmy: how'd you sleep last night, baby? [ grunting ] that's not -- >> that's it. >> jimmy: no that's not it. >> now, what i just said was, i slept very well, thank you so much for asking. >> jimmy: you could've done it as words, instead of winking. >> but it's very --
>> jimmy: you're really milking this. is there anything that you do that's unsexy? >> god. i mean -- [ laughter ] that's -- let's see. you know, i -- you know what it is? what's -- i make -- i love to make breakfast in bed. [ cheers ] i know, yeah. >> jimmy: that's not unsexy, right? unsexy. >> oh, unsexy. unsexy. that's right, sorry. >> jimmy: you can't think of an unsexy thing that you do? >> i do, i do. here's what i do. >> jimmy: that's how sexy he is. he's a sexy -- a sexy man. he is so sexy! [ cheers and applause ] it's the worst. i'm so lame, i make breakfast in bed. >> no. >> jimmy: i crack the eggs on my abs. what, that's not unsexy. that's kind of rad. that's cool. >> oh well, i do this unsexy thing. i end every text with a heart emoji and -- and a eggplant. yeah. >> jimmy: that's another -- what are you talking about? these are all sexy things! >> i'm kidding. i'm kidding. >> jimmy: you're kidding. >> i'm kidding. >> jimmy: yeah, i like -- i like -- i like -- i like this
dude i saw in "people" magazine, your high school photo. here's dwayne johnson in high school. >> wow. [ cheers and applause ] listen. i -- look. i love you guys for cheering that. that's so -- but as jimmy was pointing out, that is a dead caterpillar on my head, look at that thing. >> jimmy: you think that's bad? here's my high school photo. >> oh, my god. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i had a wispy, wispy, wispy breeze. a breeze would blow by. >> i just want to say, like, those two guys in high school, i mean, that -- that -- they could do damage. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: they could be buddies right there. absolutely. how is the family? how's the baby? is she excited? does she know about santa or christmas or anything yet? >> you know what, she's -- first of all, she's great and she's going to be a year, her birthday's next week. >> jimmy: oh, congratulations. [ audience aws ] >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: you're a good dad. you're a good dad. >> thank you. i -- really, really lucky. like you, i have two daughters, right?
simone and jasmine. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and she's really unsure of what -- who santa is right now, but we did take her to go see santa and sit on santa's lap and i got to tell you, it was -- it was awful. yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she did not like it. >> hated it. bawled, crying, awful. hated it. >> jimmy: what were you doing? >> hated it. i was not there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was not there. i got the text -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> right, so any time you see a a baby girl crying -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's like, oh, man, it just breaks your heart. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> but -- but the redemption is i dressed up as pikachu. [ laughter ] that's the redemption. because she -- >> jimmy: she enjoys? >> she loves pikachu. yes! yes, there it is. i brought you a picture. [ audience aws ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is what it's -- guys this holiday season, get your picture taken with pikachu. >> yes, that's right. >> jimmy: tell pikachu what you want for christmas. yeah. >> come sit on pikachu's lap right now. >> jimmy: i got a 3-year-old and the 3-year-old is -- >> are they ready for christmas? >> jimmy: she sat on santa's lap and she just kind of stared
at his beard. and she was like -- she just didn't say anything at all. and the two-year-old -- they're just totally different babies. you know? >> right. >> jimmy: i raised them exactly the same. i read the same books. i fed them the same stuff but the 3-year-old is just kind of quiet and shy and polite, and then the 2-year-old, you turn around for two seconds, she's got like two knives in her hand. [ laughter ] where'd you get that knife? like, "get away from me, old man. i'll cut you." hold on a second, what's happening? >> right. i want my mother. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. i want mama. mama. yeah, exactly. there's this thing that i saw online, it's at nordstrom and i just -- i don't know if you heard about this. >> oh. >> jimmy: they're selling a a rock. >> yes. i heard about this. it's like the happening thing. >> jimmy: it's a $85 rock. and it's -- >> and it's in leather. >> jimmy: it's wrapped in leather. i don't know why half of it is wrapped in leather. and half of it is just a rock and i was like man i wonder -- >> i mean, buddy, rock and leather is a hot commodity these days. [ cheers and applause ] oh, my gosh. yes. >> jimmy: well anyways -- >> there's a lot of cheese on that pizza.
>> jimmy: we called nordstrom and merry christmas. >> oh, no way, dude! [ cheers and applause ] oh, let me --. >> jimmy: i don't know what you'd do with that. >> here we go. i got -- >> jimmy: i don't know what one does with it, but -- >> wow. >> jimmy: that's it. that's the $85 rock in leather. >> so wow and -- >> jimmy: and there's a million dollar in -- >> this a $3 rock in leather. >> jimmy: that's right but -- >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: nah, i know we always give you gifts that are difficult to take home with you on the airplane but -- >> but legitimately, this is like the most popular gift, right? >> jimmy: see -- i don't know why it's so special -- it's just a normal rock. i don't know what it is, but nordstrom, when we called them, they go, "oh, you're going to talk to dwayne johnson?" they go, "then he deserves this." [ cheers and applause ] this -- you can't even buy this guy. >> buddy! look at that one. >> jimmy: look at that sucker man. >> wow! >> jimmy: that's wearing some leather chaps. that is like a biker gang rock. >> i mean -- i mean, this is like --
>> jimmy: yeah. >> this is a statement when you walk in to any meeting. go -- >> jimmy: yeah, you go, yeah -- now you're talking to the rock. yeah. >> hey, hey, hey. >> jimmy: this is like -- this is like -- this is like me and you, dude. [ laughter ] >> right away, yes. >> jimmy: that's me and you. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: december 13th on spike, it's called "rock the troops," i want to talk about that when we come back. >> sure. >> jimmy: stick around. dwayne johnson, more when we get back. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know what you do with this. ♪ ♪ this is my body of proof. proof of less joint pain. and clearer skin. this is my body of proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis with humira. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. humira is the number #1 prescribed biologic for psoriatic arthritis. humira can lower your ability to fight infections,
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♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i'm hanging out with dwayne johnson, who is hosting -- [ cheers and applause ] "rock the troops" which airs december 13th at 9:00 p.m. on spike tv. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i think it's great that you're doing this special. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: it is -- you have a -- you grew up in a military family? >> i've got some really strong military blood, yeah. we have -- of course all -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. thank you. veterans from past wars, two navy s.e.a.l.s, one got out and
very decorated navy s.e.a.l. >> jimmy: wow. >> and one who is proudly still serving our country so i got a a lot of love and respect for them. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: lots of troops -- it's like those bob hope specials that -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: i grew up with except on a larger scale. this is big. >> yeah, it's big. so it's like, you know, you had bob hope and dean martin. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and those guys did a a tremendous job and you think about these shows that honored our military men and women over the decades, and what we wanted to do was we wanted to create something special, something epic, maybe something historic, and so we were over in pearl harbor and there's a joint base, pearl harbor hickam, and we held "rock the troops" there. my production company, "seven bucks productions," casey patterson, who you know very -- >> jimmy: i love casey. >> casey patterson's amazing. >> yeah, man. >> jimmy: her production company and spike tv and we put on this show. and -- >> jimmy: we love them. >> we were told that morning by military officials, "okay, so what we can expect is maybe 20,000 to 22,000 troops and their families, should be a big event."
and we were like, "okay, great, let's do it." called my buddies up, my celebrity buddies, and i told them, "listen, you know, we do a lot of cool things in our business. but, there's no award, that you're coming over here for, the award is the privilege, is you standing on the stage and entertaining our troops." so everyone flew over, which i appreciate, all the way to hawaii. by the time the show started, we had 45,000 troops and their families. [ cheers and applause ] and it was beautiful. >> jimmy: it was moving. it's moving, it's beautiful. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but it's funny. it's unexpected. it's -- >> a lot of surprises. >> jimmy: you sing for the troops. >> i do. i will do anything for the troops. >> jimmy: of course, but -- >> including singing. >> jimmy: you do -- >> let me just give you a a little context. so what i did, so elvis, who i'm a big fan of. >> jimmy: yeah. >> which we've talked about that. i know you are too. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. >> he put on one of the biggest shows ever called "aloha from hawaii." and i thought, "we're in hawaii, he loved the troops. we love the troops. why don't i sing a, you know, a a three song medley and perform as elvis." and -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: anything for the troops. i love it.
we have a clip of you performing as elvis. take a look at this. ♪ slander my name all over the place well do anything that you wanna do ♪ ♪ but uh huh honey lay off of them shoes and don't you step on my blue suede shoes ♪ ♪ well you can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes ♪ ♪ number 47 said to number three that you're the cutest jailbird i ever did see ♪ ♪ i sure would be delighted with your company come on and do the jailhouse rock with me ♪ ♪ let's rock everybody let's rock everybody in the whole cell block ♪ ♪ was dancin to the jailhouse rock ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i mean, you can -- you can sing, you do -- you've gotta do the thing -- oh but man, you can sing and that's unbelievable. look how giant that was. that was just so -- >> it was incredible. >> jimmy: thank you so much. just -- just thank you so much from all of us.
from all of us for giving back to the troops. because i know it means a lot to you and -- just anything you can do to give back. [ cheers and applause ] >> well, thank you. i appreciate that, guys. thank you so much. thank you so much for the applause. i appreciate that. and look, i think that, you know, we ever have the opportunity to give back to our troops, i think we all should because, you know, we're -- we live and enjoy the life we have, right, because of them. so, there is one more thing i wanted to do before i left tonight, jimmy. so i would love to give back to a military family that's actually here in the audience. [ audience aws ] [ cheers and applause ] i mean -- so, if you -- if you would do me a favor, if you would come with me. >> jimmy: sure, of course. >> you guys want to do this? [ cheers and applause ] all right. let's do this. >> jimmy: do they know -- do we know who it is? >> they do not know. >> jimmy: they do not know. they do not know. no. this -- this person does not know, and i'm going to -- i want to walk over here in the audience and -- let's see. we'll walk up here.
>> jimmy: and this -- yeah. >> let's see. >> jimmy: nope. >> no, no. >> jimmy: he's laughing too much. it's not him. >> you're laughing way too much. >> jimmy: laughing too much, yeah -- is it him? >> let's see. are you -- no. i don't see this person. >> jimmy: they're not here. >> i don't see this person. no, no. >> jimmy: it's a good looking crowd. i will say that. >> it's a very -- yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: it's a very good looking crowd. [ cheers and applause ] they're not here? >> not here. no, no, no. i'm going to go up here. let's see. really good looking crowd, though. >> jimmy: here? >> hello. hello. >> jimmy: hey. how are you? hey. >> she was reaching for me. >> jimmy: yeah, she was reaching -- i saw her reaching. >> she was reaching. >> jimmy: i saw her reaching. yeah. >> let's see. you know what? i don't see this person up here. let's go back here. let's go back here. thank you. okay, watch these steps. i'm going to open this door. >> jimmy: sure. >> all right. here we go. let's see. >> jimmy: right in here? >> i think right in here. where's karina? >> what is happening right now?
what is going on? >> hi. >> hi! >> so you're karina. >> yeah. >> yeah, you're karina. and i hear you're a producer of the show and you're an army vet? >> i am. >> right, my name is dwayne johnson. >> what is happening? >> how you doing? >> hi. >> it's so good to meet you and i heard that you met your husband when you were -- you were both deployed in iraq. >> yeah. >> okay. and your husband's name is todd. >> yeah. >> and he is -- he's a master sergeant. >> yeah. >> in the u.s. air force. >> he is. >> yeah. absolutely. [ cheers and applause ] and you guys have been living apart for the past year and a a half because he's 5,000 miles away. so, karina, what jimmy and i wanted to do for you, we just wanted to thank you and your husband for your service and your sacrifice, and i personally heard you are the most amazing person, and we wanted to bring your husband home for you in the holidays.
turn around and hug your husband. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh my god! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, man. come on. group hug! [ cheers and applause ] thank you for everything. >> thank you. >> how did you do this without me knowing? >> jimmy: we love you, pal. we love you. you guys, thanks to todd, thank you karina, thank you to dwayne johnson. [ cheers and applause ] more "tonight show" when we come back, everybody. come on. i don't know how he pulled this off. [ cheers and applause ] i'll call you back. is this my car? state farm knows that for every one of those moments... what? this is ridiculous! there's one of these... sam, i gotta go... is this my car? what? this is ridiculous!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was fun. i can't believe he pulled that one off, man. i can't believe it. happy holidays. oh, it was great. guys, our next guest is a very, very funny comedian. i don't know how he's going to follow that. [ laughter ] i mean, he's probably bummed out. oh, will. he's super, super funny.
he stars alongside matt leblanc in the brand-new comedy series, "man with a plan," which airs mondays at 8:30 p.m. on cbs. he's also performing stand-up tomorrow night at caroline's right here in new york city. it is a great comedy club, so we love to support those guys. please give a warm holiday welcome to kevin nealon, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> thank you, buddy, and so do you. >> jimmy: thank you, my man. >> i'm very excited about what my surprise is going to be tonight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't have one for you. >> who haven't i seen in a a while? i cannot wait. thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: you haven't seen me in a while, so that's good. that's a big surprise, yeah. >> oh, that's great. >> jimmy: kevin, thank you for being here. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: oh, good, yeah. i'm sorry. do you have nail polish on? >> oh, yeah. i do have black nail polish? yeah, i do. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: wow.
what is that? what's going on? >> well, it's -- it kind of stems from an accident. i was -- i'm a little embarrassed. i was hanging a picture, and i was using a hammer. and i hit my nail, my thumb. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> and it got really black and blue. it was really ugly. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it really stood out from all the other ones, so i wanted them all to blend together. [ laughter ] so -- so i took the hammer, and i slammed all the other ones. >> jimmy: no, no, no. why are you gonna -- [ laughter ] no, you could have just gotten nail polish or something. >> who's the sexiest man alive now, jimmy? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. that's the move right there. >> no, no, no. the truth is i tagged along with my wife, she went to get a a mani/pedi. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i got bored, so i thought, "i'll get a mani at least." >> jimmy: sure. >> and, i sat in the chair. she goes, "you should paint your nails black." because she likes the aging rocker look. [ laughter ] so, i went ahead, and i got it done. i'm glad i didn't tag along when she was getting a waxing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no way, exactly. no. >> whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. >> jimmy: you are -- you were -- you were a mall santa at one point? >> i was a mall santa. >> jimmy: was that true? >> that is a true story. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. in my early 20s, i moved to
san diego. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> and my buddy and i got jobs as temporary santa clauses, and i worked at the sears department store there. >> jimmy: not bad. >> but i looked like a terrible santa. i was, you know, i was early 20s, and i was skinny. and i had this lousy suit on and bad, like, you know, cotton for a beard. and because it was san diego, we had a lot of kids from tijuana would come over, and they didn't speak english. and they were terrified, and a a lot of them would pee on my lap. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you just got to get used to that. >> no, you never get used to it. >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] >> you never get used to it. >> jimmy: they would just pee all over the place. >> because the santa company knew that that might be happening, they scotch guarded all the pants, so that when the kids peed, the pee wouldn't penetrate. it was just bubble up and roll down off, down on the floor. >> jimmy: how charming? >> it was very charming. >> jimmy: that's charming for the holidays. yeah. >> jimmy: kevin, i want to say you look great, and i think that -- >> do you want to say it, or you're going to say it? [ laughter ] you know what jimmy? i do feel great, and i'm going to say that you look great.
>> jimmy: yeah, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> and you feel great. >> jimmy: i feel great. but how do you do it? do you work out? how do you stay healthy? >> well, thank you for asking, jimmy. [ laughter ] i -- i eat healthy. i'm mostly a vegetarian. i will eat fish, but it has to be specific fish. i like salmon once in a while because it's supposed to be good for your memory. but what they don't tell you is you only remember what that fish remembered. [ laughter ] and that's swimming up the rapids, having sex with a lot of other fish, and then getting pulled out of the water. and i will only eat, like i said, specific fish. it's got to be caught by a a brown bear, so bear-caught fish only. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's great advice. >> grizzly brown bear from montana. >> jimmy: bears got to be from -- >> from montana. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> the hardest part is getting the fish out of the bear's mouth. >> jimmy: oh, you were there? >> oh, of course. i have to make sure it's from the bear's mouth. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. >> so what i do is i tickle the bear under here and the bear laughs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and he lets go of the fish. i take it home.
i have to have it prepared by a a tibetan monk. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kevin, this is hard for me to do all this. >> from montana. >> jimmy: we got to talk about this during the commercial break. >> okay. >> jimmy: kevin nealon, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] go see "man with a plan." he's super funny. go see him stand-up, caroline's, tomorrow night here in new york city. we'll be right back with music from gary clark jr. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
grammy-winning singer, songwriter, and guitarist whose album "the story of sonny boy slim" is available now. you're just going to love him. performing "hold on," please welcome back gary clark jr. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ what are we gonna do with you we got everything to lose with you so ♪ ♪ what are we gonna do what are we gonna do with you ♪ ♪ i don't want all of your money i don't want a lot of your time ♪ ♪ i do deserve a little respect so i'm gonna get what is mine 'cause ♪ ♪ yeah seem like old news the whole world gone crazy ♪ ♪ what am i gonna do what am i gonna tell my babies when
they don't understand ♪ ♪ my pressure my struggle my demands yeah back then i didn't understand ♪ ♪ when my pops came home saying that he couldn't take it but ♪ ♪ it's hard to be a good man knowing that a man's plan is to take what you making ♪ ♪ hold on we're gonna make it yeah hold on we're gonna make it yeah ♪ ♪ hold on we're gonna make it yeah hold on we're gonna make it yeah ♪ ♪ seem like new news is the old news from a different angle ♪ ♪ another mother on tv crying cause her boy didn't make it ♪
♪ she sayin' what am i gonna do what am i gonna tell these babies ♪ ♪ yeah y'all don't understand oh no y'all don't understand ♪ ♪ what are we gonna do with you what are we gonna do ♪ ♪ hold on we're gonna make it yeah hold on we're gonna make it yeah ♪ ♪ hold on we're gonna make it yeah hold on we're gonna make it yeah ♪ ♪ i know i know yeah i know i know yeah ♪
gary clark, jr.! [ cheers and applause ] "the story of sonny boy slim" is out now. my thanks to dwayne johnson, kevin nealon! [ cheers and applause ] gary clark jr. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. i hope to see you next week. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- mariah carey, writer and star of the "new york stories," colin quinn, music from megadeth, featuring the 8g band with dave lombardo. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight out there? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. donald trump continued his thank you tour, battle of battle ground states today in pennsylvania and hillary clinton continued her thanks for nothing tour, deeper into the woods. [ laughter