tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC May 31, 2017 11:34pm-12:38am EDT
robbery in the kings sussex neighborhood. the councilman is stable at the hospital. no arrests have been made in this case. we will keep an eye on the story overnight. councilman oh is in critical but stable condition after a stabbing tonight on thomas avenue. that is nbc 10 news at 11:00. i'm jacqueline london. for glenn and all of us here, "the tonight show" is next. have a good night. we'll see you back here tomorrow morning. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- dr. phil. leslie jones. musical guests, rick ross featuring young thug and wale.
and the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 662, mississippi! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. i feel the love! i feel the love. i give it right back to you guys. welcome, everybody, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] you made it. you're here. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here. i'm your host jimmy fallon. hey, i want to say, happy
birthday to first lady melania trump who turned 47 years old today. [ cheers and applause ] she plans to celebrate with her loved ones, and donald. [ laughter ] they celebrated like they always do, making sure donald has something to unwrap, too, so he doesn't feel left out. [ laughter ] [ as donald ] "it's my birthday too." [ laughter ] i saw that trump gave a shout out to maine governor, paul lepage during his speech today. listen to what he had to say about him. >> governor lepage of maine, who by the way has lost a lot of weight. [ laughter ] i knew him when he was heavy and now i know him when he's thin. and i like him both ways, okay? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what a great way to introduce someone, right? make you feel good. "have you met my friend? he used to be really fat. [ laughter ] could probably happen again. just you know, very common to gain the weight back."
>> steve: buy sweatpants. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "invest in sweatpants." [ laughter ] listen to this. chris christie said that he'd give trump a "b" on his first 100 days. he said he'd give him an "a" on immigration and a "c" on healthcare and -- long story short he ended up spelling, "bacon." [ laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: i just -- he just can't help himself. >> steve: i can't believe it. >> jimmy: he just can't help himself. >> steve: wow. bacon. an acrostic. >> jimmy: so trump's first 100 days are almost over but i read that he hasn't visited a single foreign country. yeah, well, today trump actually released a list of several countries and explained his reasons for not visiting them. for example, for djibouti, he said, "can't go, but i am appointing kim kardashian as ambassador." [ applause ] >> steve: makes sense. >> jimmy: next, for chile, he said, "no thanks. i prefer tgi fridays." [ laughter ] next up for monaco, he said, "i
don't want to visit a country named for bill clinton's intern." [ audience groans ] [ laughter ] not named after -- that's not true. >> steve: that's not where the name came from. >> jimmy: next for brunei, he said, "no, i just prefer blondes." next up for samoa, he said, "it's too far, but i'd love if they sent me some of their girl scout cookies." [ laughter ] that's not where they're from. >> steve: it's not, no. they're made here. >> jimmy: for -- next for nepal, he said, "i already see plenty of those when i read 'playboy.'" nip -- nepal. i get it. >> steve: i get it out now. >> jimmy: finally for mexico, he said, "no way. i'm afraid they'll build a wall while i'm on the other side." [ cheers and applause ] there you go. that's very possible. that's true. that could happen. more trouble for united airlines this week. one of their flights had to make an emergency landing in costa rica after an engine overheated. united's flight attendants quickly evacuated the plane by picking up passengers and throwing them down the inflatable slide. [ laughter and applause ] "i'm saving your life!"
you guys, there's a new app going around called, "face app." it takes your picture and then shows you what you would look like if you were younger, older, smiling or even a a different gender. here's an example using me. the original photo there, yeah. here's a photo of me looking older. yeah. [ laughter ] interesting. now, unfortunately the app doesn't always work so well. a lot of people have been having issues with this? >> steve: really? >> jimmy: for example, here's a a photo of anderson cooper. now, here he is looking older. [ laughter ] you see what i'm saying? here's a photo of president trump. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: now, let's see a a young president trump. >> steve: oh, my god. [ applause ] that's when he was young? that's the app. >> jimmy: i don't know if the app works. >> steve: that's the app. >> jimmy: i don't know if the app works all the time. now, here's bernie sanders. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: let's take a look at a younger -- younger bernie sanders. [ laughter ] he's ten years younger. >> steve: yeah.
not a flaw. >> jimmy: next up, here are president trump's kids. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: now, let's see a a younger version of them. oh, my goodness. come on. >> steve: that can't be true. >> jimmy: the app is malfunctioning. >> steve: something's wrong with that app, obviously. >> jimmy: here's paul ryan, all right. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: now, here's the young paul ryan. [ laughter ] eddie munster. >> steve: maybe that one's right. that does look like eddie munster. suspiciously. >> jimmy: and finally, here's governor chris christie. let's see a younger photo of him. [ laughter and applause ] still working out the kinks here. >> steve: they're still working on it. >> jimmy: everyone loves "the goonies." >> steve: they're working the kinks out. >> jimmy: that's just chunk. >> steve: yeah, it's chunk. >> jimmy: guys, i saw that heineken just came out with a a new ad where two people who disagree on a issue are put in the room together to talk about it over a beer. 'cause if there's one thing that helps an argument it's alcohol. [ laughter ] that's a good idea. this is pretty cool. i read that seth rogen might voice the character of puumba in the upcoming remake of "the lion king."
he actually made an audition tape by revoicing a scene from the original animated movie. it's pretty interesting. take a look. [ sighing ] >> somebody once told me that the great kings of the past are up there, watching over us. >> man, what kind of weed are you smoking? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and finally a little sports news. looks like derek jeter and jeb bush will be buying the miami marlins. okay. one guy who could have been president and jeb bush. so you never know. guys, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: we've got a great show tonight. this guy is just the best. the host of the dr. phil show, dr. phil mcgraw is here. [ cheers and applause ] plus, one of my favorites from "saturday night live," and one of "time" magazine's 100 most influential people, the hilarious leslie jones is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah! come on! leslie! >> jimmy: leslie! and we've got great music from rick ross featuring young thug and wale. [ cheers and applause ] rick ross. the boss. the boss. >> steve: rick ross. >> jimmy: my apple sauce. i'm a bad rapper. have you been to eleven madison recently? that restaurant? >> questlove: i've been there a a few times. >> jimmy: yeah, i know you know daniel and will. but anyway they just won, i don't know if you saw, number one restaurant in the world. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: so we've known them for a long time. i sent them a congratulatory note last week. so i went to the restaurant two nights ago with my friend
chris meledandri. we just went to have dinner there. and they gave us on the menu the greatest hits. so they gave all the things throughout the years that i -- just mind blowing i've been telling you stories. >> questlove: the best of. >> jimmy: yeah. like the clam bake. they give you like a plateful of sand with clams. it's insane. like they're like magicians. anyway, they came over and said "hi" to me and my friend chris. so i'm flipping out. they're the nicest guys. daniel hume is the chef and will guidara are the owners. so anyway, after dinner they go, "come in the back. there's a special thing for you in the back." you've done that, right? in the kitchen? >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: he brings me in the kitchen and just everybody top to bottom, the whole staff, everybody is just fantastic. sous chef, everyone's great. so they bring us back and they have this like table set up in the kitchen. there's like a glass of wine and some fresh pasta right there. i know, please. even that looks amazing. i didn't even know what was in the dish. [ laughter ] >> steve: i was trying to be cool. >> jimmy: so what happens is, they go, "we have one more
thing for you." so they go around the back. i go, "what is it?" he goes, "it's based on something you did." i go, "what do you mean?" she goes, "you wrote a note saying congratulations." and i said, "number one in new york, number one in the world. what's next, space?" and he goes, yes. space is next. so please put on these spacesuits. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: so they made me put on -- [ laughter ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: that's chris meledandri. that's the guy who made "minions" and "despicable me" and stuff. [ laughter ] i did not plan on this. that's questlove's head on the suit. [ laughter ] >> questlove: wait, what? >> jimmy: no they made these. i swear. this is the craziest thing ever. so there's -- i go on the elevator and they made it into like a spaceship with like buttons and they're playing space music. i swear to god. and then i get down. there's daniel hume right there, there's the chef, and there's will. there's will right there.
and they had dry ice and frozen cocktails for after-dinner drinks. and i was freaking out. chris was like, "this happens every time?" i go, '"no!" but the hats were made of papier-mache and masking tape. and it was so fun. i wanted to show you again the logo. that's questlove. can you zoom in there? that's questlove's head there -- >> steve: that's the nasa logo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: with the eleven madison park logo. the're just the most thoughtful guys. i want to say congrats again to those guys. daniel, will, everybody at eleven madison. i love you guys! that's why you're number one, baby! [ cheers and applause ] awesome, geniuses. so much fun. hey, guys, quick reminder, tomorrow is take your kids to work day. this is where kids get to go to work with their parents and see what they do all day. so in honor of that, i decided to sit down with some kids and find out how much they actually know about their parents' jobs. and it was a lot of fun. take a look at this. ♪ >> jimmy: hey what does -- what does your dad do for a job?
>> he cleans. >> jimmy: he cleans? >> mm-hmm. >> he helps. he goes on a computer and he writes on paper. >> jimmy: what does your mom do for a job? >> she works at a branding company. >> jimmy: what do you think she does all day? >> she works, then after she gets a little grumpy. [ laughter ] then she eats dinner and then she goes to bed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's her favorite part of the job and what's her least favorite part of the job, you think? >> the least favorite part of the job is having to agree with all of the clients. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you think your mom has fun at her job? >> no. [ laughter ] she's always like, "oh, not again!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that before she goes into work? >> no, like whenever she gets a a call, you're like, "oh, come on!"
[ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's your name? >> zoey. >> jimmy: zoe. >> evie. >> jimmy: and evie? what does your dad do all day? >> i don't know. >> work on the computer? >> i have no idea. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what does your dad wear to work? >> a suit. >> t-shirt. >> a suit. >> t-shirt. >> jimmy: what's your name? >> jonah. >> jimmy: jonah, how old are you? >> seven. >> jimmy: what does mommy do for a job? >> uh -- work? >> jimmy: what does her office look like? >> it has two chairs a desk and a shelf. >> jimmy: is there anything on the shelf? >> yes. >> jimmy: what? >> two packs of gum. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you want to be when you grow up? >> i want to be a vet and gymnast. >> i'm just going to be a vet. >> a gymnast and a vet. >> jimmy: can you show me a a cartwheel? >> do it. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: let me see. hey, fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] >> i want to be a superhero, a a mermaid, a rock star, a
a ninja, a zookeeper, and doctor and a mommy. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's so fun. >> i'm just mostly eating or reading. >> jimmy: that's what you do? >> yes. >> jimmy: what are you reading right now? do you like anything? >> like, scholastic books. >> jimmy: yeah, give me a a couple books to read because i'm looking to do something this summer. >> "bad kitty." >> jimmy: "bad kitty?" >> yeah. >> jimmy: i read that one already. [ laughter ] >> "dogman." >> jimmy: "dogman?" >> by dean pilkey. >> jimmy: oh, is it a pilkey? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do i do for a a living? how do you describe my job? >> it's kind of comedy. it can be comedy. [ laughter and applause ] i think it's comedy. >> jimmy: can be, yeah. have you ever heard of me? >> not that much. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you think i'm funny? >> i think a little tiny bit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a pleasure meeting you. [ cheers and applause ]
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! it is time for "bad signs." here we go, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ain't we lucky we got 'em bad signs yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys, these are real pictures of funny signs that you guys saw in a store or weird signs you saw while driving around. you pulled over, stopped. >> steve: right, safety. >> jimmy: put it in park. then took a photo of it and sent it into us. [ light laughter ] again, these are all 100% real photos from you guys. the first sign was sent to us by matt robertson in denver, colorado. he spotted it while out for a a walk. it says, "keep gate closed."
[ laughter ] that's smart. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's smart. you leave it -- >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: you leave in open. anyone can get in or out. >> steve: anybody right in there, yeah. [ laughter ] you never know. >> jimmy: next one is sent by amy devries in elgin, illinois. she spotted some signs pointing out some local attractions. "nuclear power plant and spider farm." [ laughter and applause ] i wonder if my friend lives by there. >> steve: oh, really? what's his name? >> jimmy: peter parker. [ laughter ] >> steve: peter parker, really? >> jimmy: i hope he's okay. >> steve: he lives with his aunt mae? oh, my gosh. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, he lives there. yeah, exactly. he's a good dude. [ light laughter ] this next sign was sent in by chris st. james in abilene, texas. it's a for sale sign he spotted in someone's yard -- "far wood." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: "far wood." >> steve: "you got a bunch of far wood." >> jimmy: it looks like blake shelton's house. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah. "far wood." >> jimmy: far wood. [ laughter ]
>> steve: "just write it on the damn sign!" >> jimmy: that's so good. [ light laughter ] next sign was sent in by jacob kritino in houston, texas. he spotted it outside a a psychiatrist's office. "gerald bush -- child and adolescent psychiatry and addiction psychiatry. wine tasting." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: you've got to build a a customer base. >> jimmy: yeah, the circle of life. >> steve: exactly, man. you've got to create your customers. you have to create opportunity. >> jimmy: you won't believe what we've got going with that. >> steve: oh, my god. it's great. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: the guy had a wine tasting. yeah, i love it. >> steve: here's my card. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you got a problem, buddy. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: this next one was sent in by terry medina in portland, oregon. it's a theater marquee. it says, "no longer a porn theater. book your events now." there you go. [ laughter and applause ] bring the kids. >> steve: bring them on over! clean the seats! [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: i'm sure they did. [ laughter ]
it's probably a legit business. >> steve: yeah, exactly. totally legit. >> jimmy: yeah, i just hope that you don't get jerked around. >> steve: yeah, you don't want to, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] no, you don't. thank you for coming. >> jimmy: oh, there you go. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: take care, man. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] get out of here. get out of here! woo. that's was a good one, man. is everything all right? >> steve: it's hard out there. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. [ laughter and applause ] this next -- [ laughter ] this next sign was sent in by celine perrier in ottawa, canada. she spotted it outside a house. it says, "for sale." then it says down here, it says, "free pizza with purchase
of the house." [ laughter and applause ] "honey, honey! i think we got to do this." >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: "we got to take this right now! it's our time! we get a free pizza, man." [ light laughter ] the next sign was sent in by amanda knight in chanhassen, minnesota. chanhassen, that's where prince was from, right? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: she saw it in a a grocery store. it's in the ethnic section. let's see what they have there. hot pockets. >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] oh, i love-a the hot pockets. it's a pepperoni. it's a cacciatore." >> jimmy: leave it for the man. >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: and then you burn the roof of your mouth off. >> steve: who you-a gonna give-a the hot pocket? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: we're down to our last bad sign. it was sent in by roger aronson in green bay, wisconsin. it's for a restaurant that's called the grill. "where we like it smoking hot" -- >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: "temporarily closed due to fire." [ laughter and applause ] they went for it. >> steve: oh, no! >> jimmy: they went for it, man. >> steve: come on, man! >> jimmy: that's all the time
we have for "bad signs." [ cheers and applause ] if you see a funny bad sign, e-mail it to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. we might put it on the show. stick around. we'll be right back with dr. phil, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm not the type to smushy garbages... you know what? i'm going for it. you are completely and utterly... awesome... i'm glad you showed up. in my life! i think i'm about to cry... you better not. every single time i... get down! you always have... my back! my back! it's really hard to describe. it's like... all these tiny little... things? yes. yes. things! are actually... friendship. ♪
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his 15th season as the host of television's number one daytime talk show. he also co-created and produces a new hit show called "bull," which airs tuesdays at 9:00 p.m. on cbs. please welcome the one and only dr. phil. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> all right! >> jimmy: welcome back. always great to have you here. >> good to see you again. >> jimmy: nice to see you as well. your wife didn't come with you this time, right? >> no, she did not come this time. >> jimmy: but you celebrated your 40th anniversary? >> four-zero. >> jimmy: wow. >> fourty years. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: give her my congratulations. tell her i said congratulations. >> i will. we've been together 44, but we've been married 40. so -- >> jimmy: what's the -- what's the secret, any advice for anyone 40 years of marriage?
>> well, a lot. but -- [ laughter ] i think it boils down to learning how to interpret things. like whenever your wife says, "what?" it isn't that she didn't hear you. she's giving you a chance to change what you said. [ laughter and applause ] okay? you got to pick up on these cues and you got to pick up on these cues and change your game. you learn. >> jimmy: look at this. i saw a picture of you guys. look at this. [ cheers ] that's pretty cool, man. you're a cool dude. that scares me, motorcycles. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i don't think you should drive a motorcycle. >> it scares her, too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, she doesn't like it either? >> no. well, she says when i put her on the first time i told her, you got to lean with me when i go right, lean with me when i go left. she didn't -- she said i didn't tell her she could look left or right, so she put her head right in the back of mine and rode for like 14 miles and never looked left or right. [ laughter ] and so i said, okay, we need to
pull over for a minute and take a break because i had claw marks in my stomach. [ laughter ] and she got off and said, you told me i couldn't look left or right. i said, yes, dear. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> 40 years. what are you going to do? >> jimmy: i also saw another fun picture of you. this is on -- >> uh-oh. >> jimmy: on halloween, the kids -- your grandkids tell you how to dress. >> well, yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't know that's the rule. >> no, that is the rule. >> jimmy: i did not know. well, this halloween you were a a sock monkey. i thought that was pretty fun. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's pretty cute. >> you got to understand, this is in l.a. which it's like -- >> jimmy: 100 degrees. >> 85 degrees when you go out there and you got a sock puppet on your bald head. >> jimmy: you're a good grandpa. >> yeah, you're sweating like a a whore in church the entire time. [ laughter ] and i got a 5-year-old who is heavier than a box of rocks. so he walks like three houses, and then you carry him for the next two hours. and he gets home, he doesn't even want the candy. he just wants the ride. >> jimmy: is being a a grandparent easier than being
a parent? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: it is, right? >> yeah. people say it like it's a joke. but you can give 'em back at the end of the day. [ laughter ] and also, you don't have to live with the consequences of what you did. because at your house, they can eat ice cream sundaes in bed, and then they go home and say we want an ice cream sundae in bed, and they get, "no," and they throw the fit at home when you're not there. >> jimmy: yeah. exactly. who cares? exactly. >> so how are your parents as grandparents? >> jimmy: they're good, they're great. they're fantastic as grandparents. >> do they follow the rules? >> jimmy: absolutely, yeah. only like three beers a night. [ laughter ] keep it down to a minimum. congrats on "dr. phil," number one daytime talk show. this is the 15th season. >> yeah, 15 years. how about that? >> jimmy: good for you, man. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, we're havin' fun. >> jimmy: it's a good show. >> i got the best team in television. that's what it's about. >> jimmy: then you created a a new show called "bull" on cbs. and this is based on your life. >> it's based on my life before "the dr. phil show" back when i
had a real job. and it's about trial sciences. and we like to say it's based on my life, but not exactly -- it's not autobiographical. because in first show the person that plays the character that i inspired breaks three laws before the first commercial break. so it's not autobiographical. but it's about juries. we taught people how to tell the truth effectively -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> is what we did. we talked -- which juror needs to be in the box and teach witnesses how to tell the truth effectively because there's a a big difference. >> jimmy: yeah. i saw -- i wanted to put this to the test. i wanted to test you tonight and see if i can tell you two truths and a lie and see if you can tell which one is the lie. you think you still got it? you think you still got the goods? [ laughter ] this isn't the lie. you feel like you're in my head already. i don't like it. >> i'm just -- >> jimmy: stop looking at me. >> i'm just gathering data. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: already you're breaking me down. all right, i killed her. all right? big deal. >> let's hear 'em. >> jimmy: ready? two truths and a lie. that simple. >> maybe. [ light laughter ] just because you say there's two truths doesn't mean there are, but go ahead. >> jimmy: already. yeah, you're right. see but no, you can trust me. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can ask any question. number one, i attended the final taping of "seinfeld." [ light laughter ] okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: number two, i've never seen the movie "titanic." [ light laughter ] okay? number three, my pickup truck has a working popcorn machine in the back. >> now can i ask you a a question? >> jimmy: sure. >> have you lied to anyone within the last eight hours besides me? >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ]
i don't think i did. no, i didn't lie to anybody. >> that's two lies. you've lied to someone within the last eight hours. and i asked you that to see what you do when you lie. >> jimmy: you think i lied to someone in the past eight hours? >> i know you did. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? do you know what the lie was? >> are you telling me you haven't lied to someone in the last eight hours. >> jimmy: i don't think i have. have i? [ laughter ] i'm freaking out now. >> i know you did. i just want you to tell me why. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know why. i don't know why. probably i was just tired this morning maybe. >> are you afraid of water? >> jimmy: am i afraid of water? >> are you an echo? >> jimmy: i'm not afraid of water. like swimming? >> you tell me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is all part of your thing.
yeah, i think water's cool, man. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm just trying to figure out why you haven't seen "titanic." >> jimmy: because i didn't want to do what everyone else does, daddio. [ applause ] >> but you haven't seen it, have you? >> jimmy: i don't want -- i refuse to watch it. not only haven't seen it, refuse to watch. >> yeah. so, that's what you lied about. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're right. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] how did you do that? how did you do that? i want to know why? how did you know that? i loved "titanic." i love that movie. i love when they send them into the boat. i was crying. i love that movie. how the heck did you know that? wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: dr. phil, everybody. this guy's amazing. [ cheers and applause ]
check out "dr. phil" and "bull," which is more of this stuff. we'll be right back with leslie jones. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hit it! ♪ ♪ now look what you made me do ♪ ♪ you and me baby it takes two ♪ ♪ bringing new moves to the old school ♪ ♪ time for the whole world to enjoy the view ♪ ♪ we can go left they can go right ♪ ♪ save me a dance for the end of the night ♪ ♪ when i'm with you it's a party ♪ ♪ don't care where we're going ♪ ♪ 1, 2, 3 get loose no♪! ♪ it takes two to make a thing go right ♪ ♪ it takes two to make it out of sight. ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is knocking it out of the park every week as a cast member on "saturday night live." and she was just named one of "time" magazine's most influential people in the world. everyone, please welcome the very talented leslie jones. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the roots, they love you. i love you. >> i love it! >> jimmy: come on. >> i love it. i love it. >> jimmy: standing ovation.
>> ooh, baby! >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the show. thank you so much for coming on. you look great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and -- [ light laughter ] congratulations -- >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: on "time" magazine. one of the -- the 100 most influential people in the world. >> yeah, i didn't know there was 99 more. [ cheers and applause ] i thought it was just me. >> jimmy: yeah. there you go there. >> oh, nice. i hate this picture. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you do? you don't like this one? >> oh, the hawk is not in. okay. it's good. but russell crowe wrote a poem about me. >> jimmy: yeah, that's amazing. how well do you know russell crowe? >> very well, darling. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> he wrote poetry about me, though. i mean, he in love with me. he just don't want to admit it. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: really. how was last night? last night was the big event. >> oh, man, it was so dope. i was just like meeting people that you never thought you would ever meet. >> jimmy: yeah, it's amazing. >> like viola davis.
>> jimmy: i love viola davis. >> it's like completely normal. like i just -- you know what i'm saying? you meet these people and they're just like -- they're just as excited to meet you. and you're like, "no, no, you have like an oscar." like -- >> jimmy: no, i -- >> you're not supposed to be excited about me. >> jimmy: i have pictures of you with people. >> oh! >> jimmy: some with katie couric. >> katie! >> jimmy: she's awesome. >> oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: super funny too. >> that was funny, too, because she took this picture and they were showing a refugee film. and she was like, i don't think it's appropriate to take a a selfie during the refugee film. so we just sat there. and we like, "oh, that's messed up. [ light laughter ] okay, let's get this selfie real quick." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: opportune time. >> great, like -- >> jimmy: then have you -- >> oh, okay! let me tell you, this man, oh, ryan reynolds. i love you. [ cheers and applause ] yo, did you see where this is on the railing? him and his wife, his cool wife, blake, yo, that's my home girl, yo. [ cheers and applause ] she is the home girl. like one of the -- i mean, you have to be cool to let somebody just be all on your man like
that, you know what i'm saying? him -- they shimmied down the second tier through these little metal things just to meet me. [ audience aws ] yes! so cool, right? >> jimmy: it is. >> oh, look at that. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's cool. he's a good dude. >> yeah, colin going to be texting me. he's going to be texting me. [ laughter ] colin is going to be so mad. >> jimmy: he's going to be jealous, yeah. and then here's you and ryan and blake. >> yes! look at the -- yo, the girl is so cool. and beautiful. man, they were just so cool. that's like -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations to you though. they got to be excited to meet you. >> yes! >> jimmy: you're crushing it. you're in "time" magazine one of the 100 most influential people. that's the best. >> i know. i can't believe it. >> jimmy: i love it. i believe it. i don't know if you remember saying this, i hosted "saturday night live" a couple weeks ago and i was talking to you on the set in between something. i said, have you seen the show -- remember this? >> yes. >> jimmy: i said, have you seen the show "big little lies" and do you remember what you said to me?
>> yeah, i was like, "oh, yeah, three white women having problems on the beach." yeah. [ laughter ] i tune in every week for that. [ laughter ] i mean like what real problems you have? i've got a home girl that got like four babies daddies and seven children. now that's a big little lie right there. that's a big little lie. >> jimmy: that made me laugh. i just love that you said that. we just played a game with dr. phil called two truths and a lie. >> oh! >> jimmy: and he's good at finding -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's the best. so i thought -- >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. start working it now, because he's already in your head. >> whatever, dr. phil. i need to meet the catch me outside girl before we talk. you know what i'm saying? you know what i'm saying? you all trying to fix her with psychology and she need a 2x4. [ laughter ] how 'bout that? how 'bout that? >> phil: her mama needs a 2x4. [ laughter ] >> exactly. all of them. >> jimmy: let's hear --
let's -- think of a like -- a truth or a a lie. >> okay. >> jimmy: and have dr. phil -- he'll judge you on it and see if you were telling the truth or a lie. >> oh, okay. i got chased through a a drive-thru by a car -- [ light laughter ] on a date. [ laughter ] >> phil: you got chased through a drive-thru by a car on a a date? >> on a date. >> phil: what kind of drive-thru? >> it was mcdonald's. >> phil: mcdonald's. did you already have your food? >> no, i ordered the food. >> phil: what did you order? >> a sundae with no nuts because he wanted to hit me with his. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: sorry to interrupt. where were we? >> phil: let me tell you, this girl is telling the truth. >> yes. >> jimmy: are you? [ cheers and applause ] so you got it from that? he's that amazing! you're that amazing. my thanks to leslie jones and dr. phil. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with a a performance from rick ross featuring young thug and wale. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he is a grammy-nominated multi-platinum rap icon whose latest album, "rather you than me," debuted at number one. [ cheers and applause ] performing -- [ cheers and applause ] performing "trap trap trap," featuring young thug and wale, give it up for rick ross! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ name that music >> everybody keep your hands up
in the sky right now. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ bounce come on ♪ ♪ i took my roof off at the red light come on ♪ ♪ i took my roof off at the red light oh ♪ ♪ trap trap trap trap trap trap what ya say ♪ ♪ trap trap trap trap trap trap brown bag legend cause it's all cash ♪ ♪ brown bag legend when it's all cash trap trap trap trap trap trap ♪ ♪ trap trap trap trap trap trap ♪ ♪ first one on the block woah i need mine off the top over town he got shot muddy died in opa-locka ♪ ♪ couldn't save one lung hit him up pump pump ♪ ♪ see the look on my face like cash city one state you hate on my sound til i went the first round ♪ ♪ then i earned the lombardi ain't no little boys allowed ♪ ♪ only touch if she exclusive her favorite rapper lil boosie ♪ ♪ to tell the truth i didn't ask when it come to chickens i'm gucci ♪
♪ i'm the wrong one to rob in the jungle i'm nas in the label i'm russ ♪ ♪ in the trap i'm rick ross double m goldman sachs just like omar and khloe ♪ ♪ you can't dial for the pack i sent you right back loaded ♪ ♪ i took my roof off at the red light i took my roof off at the red light ♪ ♪ what you tell them man trap trap trap trap trap trap what you saying man ♪ ♪ trap trap trap trap trap trap ♪ ♪ brown bag legend cause it's all cash ♪ ♪ brown bag legend when it's all cash trap trap trap trap trap trap ♪ ♪ trap trap trap trap trap trap ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i was tryna bet the whole map vegas stay in the trap talkin bout raiding the trap ♪ ♪ man i'm about to go ape in the trap ♪ ♪ watch your babies in the trap ♪ ♪ cook a whole base in the trap slave in the trap ♪ ♪ run base base in the trap i'm about to get this moving yeah ♪ ♪ answer the door with the woolie yeah wrist in the water i need me a boat ♪ ♪ i'm about to get this cruising yeah stand at the stove til
you get woozy woozy ♪ ♪ let's make a movie movie yeah movie movie movie ♪ ♪ i'm richer than tom cruise yeah so many different meds on me ♪ ♪ they around call the fed on me oh hold on ♪ ♪ click boom boom boom your head homie you dead ♪ ♪ draco got a lot of lead on me you dead yeah yeah ♪ ♪ i took my roof off at the red light i took my roof off at the red light ♪ ♪ trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap ♪ ♪ brown bag legend cause it's all cash brown bag legend when it's all cash ♪ ♪ trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap ♪ ♪ i ain't nothing like the trap goyard backpack ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ uber crates 'til the feds pull up whoo whoo cataracts ♪ ♪ i'm the type holla at the wife her body yours but her soul is mine ♪ ♪ adios do a 120 like a you a girl
wraith scrappin my tires jameson til i'm fried whoa ♪ ♪ famous here but i'm humble double m the empire renzel got me all day kyrie he lebron james ♪ ♪ tired say folarin ain't top ♪ ♪ sportscenter every day i ain't nothing like them trap guys whoa ♪ ♪ i mean i kinda do bag dimes i kinda never do back down ♪ ♪ most people high via rap lines get a beat leave it baptized ♪ ♪ mob ties but it's black lives black lives boy trap lives gimme five on ♪ ♪ the black side i took my roof off at the red light ♪ ♪ hands up hand up hands up ♪ ♪ i took my roof off at the red light like this like this what what what ♪ ♪ trap trap trap trap trap trap like this ♪ ♪ trap trap trap trap trap trap yeah yeah ♪ ♪ brown bag legend cause it's all cash whoa it's all cash ♪ ♪ brown bag legend when it's all cash what ♪ ♪ trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap trap ♪ ♪ play that music play that music ♪ >> "rather you than me" in stores now. [ cheers and applause ] go get it! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to dr. phil mcgraw, leslie jones, rick ross, young thug, wale! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope we see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- kyle chandler, from "casual" actress, michaela watkins, a performance from broadway's "come from away," featuring the 8g band with matt frazier. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i am seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump visited the jewish holy site, the western wall in east jerusalem today. he also said the wall was the reason israel doesn't have any mexicans. [ laughter ]