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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  October 19, 2017 12:37am-1:38am EDT

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♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- emma stone, from "the mick", actress kaitlin olson. music from blondie, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. former white house press secretary, sean spicer, said in an interview today that he never knowingly lied to the american people while in office. oh, really? then how do you explain this? >> it's another busy day here at the white house. [ laughter ]
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>> seth: according to the "washington post", in july of 2016 former trump campaign chairman, paul manafort, offered to provide private briefings on the presidential race to a russian billionaire who is close with vladimir putin. so paul manafort was the campaign manager for donald trump and met with a billionaire, who is friends with putin, who is in a movie with kevin bacon. i did it, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] president trump tweeted yesterday, quote, "alabama is so lucky to have a candidate like big luther strange for the special senate election to fill attorney general jeff sessions's seat." but look how he spelled so. hey, man, anything more than one "o" means you're being sarcastic. [ light laughter ] but you must know that. you're soooo smart. [ cheers and applause ] and in an interview yesterday,
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bill gates said that he regrets requiring windows users to press control, alt, delete to log in. saying that he would instead make that a single key. he also wishes hadn't made clippy such a prick. [ laughter ] some 7-eleven stores are now offering what they are calling restaurant- quality dishes. "hey, we should try that," said olive garden. [ laughter and applause ] kodak has teamed with facebook to offer a new service that will sort through old photos and suggest images to print out or have put on mugs. said one dad, "i love it!" [ laughter ] a teacher in south carolina has been suspended after she gave her fifth grade class a homework assignment asking them to justify the kkk's treatment of african-americans.
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also suspended, the kid who got an "a." [ laughter ] 80 years ago today, j.r.r tolkien's book, "the hobbit" was released. to give you an idea of what 80 years feels like, watch the movie. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, the 1980s soft drink jolt cola will return to shelves this month. but if you really want a jolt, try this popular '80s product. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight! she's starring in the new film, "battle of the sexes." emma stone is here, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] the always wonderful emma stone. she's an incredibly funny actor. she's on fox's "the mick."
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kaitlin olson is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and music from legends. rock icons blondie are here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so excited, so excited about blondie fred. we saw -- we saw -- we were together and we saw blondie inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame. >> fred: that's rock and roll hall of fame, yeah. >> seth: but we had to -- we had to leave that night and go out and watch them. and then tonight they're coming to us. >> fred: yeah. >> seth: it's so much better. >> fred: yes. [ laughter ] >> seth: before we get to all of that, republicans are once again making a m dash to rush through a bill that would repeal obamacare and drastically overhaul health care in this country. and once again, very few republicans can actually defend their bill or explain what it does. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: there's nothing donald trump is better at than making big, empty promises even though he has no idea how to achieve them. the latest example of this strategy came yesterday when trump met with palestinian president mahmoud abbas at the united nations and said he'd
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like to achieve middle east peace. although he seemed to have no real clue how to do it, as you can tell from his nonchalant tone. >> israel is working very hard toward the same goal. and i must tell you, saudi arabia and many of the different nations are working also hard. so we'll see if we can put it together. who knows? stranger things have happened. [ laughter ] >> seth: he talks about middle east peace the way people talk about getting back together with their ex. [ laughter ] hey, stranger things have happened, right? but he's right. not only have stranger things happened, stranger things are constantly happening. i think we might all be trapped in an episode of "stranger things." [ light laughter ] we're a week away from trump saying, "we're going to pass health care, achieve middle east peace, and bring things barb back from the upside down. we can get it done." [ cheers and applause ] even when it comes to basic details, trump is, of course, often confused. just take his address yesterday at a luncheon with african
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leaders where he tried to praise several african countries for their efforts on health care, but seemed to make up a country on the spot. >> in guinea and nigeria, you fought a horrifying ebola outbreak. nambia's health system is increasingly self-sufficient. >> seth: of course, the problem is nambia is not a country that actually exists. [ light laughter ] i'm pretty sure trump pulled that right out of his djibouti. [ laughter ] trump is single handedly keeping google's "did you mean" feature in business. [ laughter ] that's right. trump thinks there's a country called nambia which, of course, is right next to nigeristan and kenya-believe-this-[ bleep ]-guy [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now, the who knows approach is basically the same approach trump has used on health care. during the campaign he claimed repeatedly that he would provide great health care at a much lower cost that would cover everybody, and that it would be very easy to pass.
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well shockingly, it turns out trump had no idea how to accomplish any of that. in fact, during a recent meeting where a bipartisan group of lawmakers tried to pitch him on a compromised bill to shore up obamacare, all trump cared about was the name. according to politico, upon hearing it, had bipartisan support, the president had one question. can i call it repeal and replace? a democratic lawmaker responded, "you can call it whatever you want, mr. president." [ light laughter ] hell, you can call it nambia! [ laughter ] no one else is using it. [ laughter and applause ] now, democrats and republicans actually were getting close to a bipartisan solution that would have fixed some of the problems with obamacare while keeping the bill largely in place. but gop leaders decided to blow all of that up in favor of yet again another last-ditch effort to repeal and replace obamacare. >> a health care hail mary. the president pushing republicans to not let this obamacare repeal fail. >> this is the graham-cassidy bill. this, really, for all intents and purposes is a final hail mary here for republicans on
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health care. >> republicans pushing ahead with a hail mary plan. >> this hail mary option. >> they're referring to it as a hail mary, essentially. >> there is the last-ditch, furious hail mary effort -- >> seth: of course, if this thing passes, a hail mary might be the only health care option some people can afford. [ light laughter ] hail mary, full of grace, does this mole look weird to you? but that's right. they're throwing another hail mary. except republicans aren't exactly tom brady or aaron rodgers. they're more like jay cutler. >> he's going to launch it. and that was way out of bounds. incomplete. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: now, the main sponsors of this new bill are senators bill cassidy and lindsey graham. and they are trying to rush it through for a vote as early as next week. now, as you may recall, republicans complained repeatedly about the process democrats used to pass obamacare in 2009 and 2010. even though it was a far more open process than they're using now. but they didn't just complain about the process. they even complained about the length of the bill itself.
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in fact, back in 2009, senator mitch mcconnell thought the page length of the obamacare bill was so damning that during one floor speech he kept repeating it over and over. >> we have now had less than 48 hours to look through this 2,074-page bill. this massive, 2,074-page bill. buried in this 2,074-page bill. this monstrous, 2,074-page bill. on what is buried in this 2,074-page bill. in this 2,074-page bill. were we to pass this 2,074-page bill. this 2,074-page bill. what else do we know about this 2,074-page bill? >> seth: well, there's one thing we definitely know. [ laughter ] but here's the thing. it's supposed to be long. this isn't book club. you're reorganizing one-sixth of
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the american economy. details are good. just take obamacare's protections for people with preexisting conditions as an example. obamacare had lots of very specific legal definitions for what kinds of coverage people with preexisting conditions should get. the affordable care act includes definitions, in law, of what's reasonable for an individual to spend on premiums, given his or her income. by comparison, the new gop bill has none of those details. that doesn't exist in cassidy-graham. there aren't definitions of key terms like "adequate" or "affordable." and i don't know if you've met the guy who will be signing this bill, but i'm not sure we should go by his definition of affordable. [ light laughter ] so the bill takes money away from vulnerable people on medicaid and strips away protections for people with preexisting conditions. now you might think, how could any senator vote for such a monstrous bill? well, the answer is, they either don't know or don't care. the website vox interviewed gop senators and asked them basic questions about the bill, and their answers were baffling. take, for example, this exchange with kansas senator, pat roberts. reporter -- why does this make
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things better? what is this doing? roberts -- look. we're in the back seat of a convertible being driven by thelma and louise and we're headed toward the canyon. that's a movie that you've probably never seen. reporter -- i do know "thelma and louise" sir. [ laughter ] roberts -- so we have to get out of the car and you have to have a car to get into, and this is the only car there is. i love how he realized halfway through that his analogy made no sense and he just hoped the reporter had never seen the movie. [ laughter ] you see, it's kind of like "forrest gump." you probably haven't seen that movie. no, i've seen it. oh, it's like "minions." [ laughter ] and on top of everything else this bill would do, it would also radically restructure a deeply cut medicaid and would reduce total federal funding to states by $489 billion through 2027. now, those cuts may seem savage and cruel, but to be fair, republicans have always preached fiscal responsibility and the importance of saving money. and i'm sure this next series of clips about trump's health
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secretary, tom price, won't prove that they're all full of [ bleep ]. >> health and human services secretary, tom price, is taking a little bit of heat after politico found he took five private flights last week for events in maine, new hampshire, and pennsylvania. the cost? tens of thousands of dollars. >> that included a flight from washington, d.c. to philadelphia and back on a 30-seat private charter at a cost of -- and this is really astounding, $25,000. >> seth: $25,000. do you know how short a flight is from d.c. to philadelphia? if you tried to watch "thelma and louise" on that flight, you wouldn't meet louise! [ laughter ] susan sarandon is in it? not the part i saw. [ light laughter ] so tom price thinks medicaid patients should lose their health care but has no problem spending tens of thousands of dollars on private jets. and he's not the only one. treasury secretary steve mnuchin also came under fire after he requested use of a government jet to take him and his wife on their european honeymoon. and before that, took a government aircraft to kentucky
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on a trip that involved viewing the solar eclipse. and when he was asked about that taxpayer-funded eclipse trip, he tried to claim he didn't actually care about the eclipse, because he's from new york. >> when i got there, the staff had actually intended that we watch the eclipse on the roof of fort knox. and, you know, people in kentucky took this stuff very seriously. being a new yorker in california, i was like, the eclipse -- we got there, i was like, "really, i don't have any interest in watching the eclipse." >> seth: you think new yorkers don't care about the eclipse? i can show you one new yorker who wanted to see the eclipse so badly, he almost burned his retinas. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] no, i don't want the glasses. i want to see the whole thing. no glasses. [ laughter ] so these guys think millions of people should have their health care ripped away from them while they spend thousands on private jets and eclipse trips they don't even care about. and now the question is, can they get the votes to pass this
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bill. republicans are pulling out all of the stops, even forming unlikely alliances. lindsey graham, for example, said he's even been in contact with his one-time nemesis, trump's former chief strategist, steve bannon and that bannan has been helping him push the new repeal bill. graham said of bannon, "me and darth vader are now talking to each other." [ light laughter ] hey, lindsay, when you're trying to get a bill passed, you're not supposed to admit that the people you're working with are evil. [ light laughter ] let's just say, cruella deville and i have been working on something i believe will be good for all dalmatians. [ laughter ] but there are still some holdouts. kentucky senator rand paul remains opposed to the bill, because he thinks it doesn't actually go far enough in repealing obamacare. so to win over votes, trump has been tweeting. yesterday he claimed "i would not sign graham-cassidy if it does not include coverage of preexisting conditions. it does. a great bill, repeal and replace." and before that he tweeted, "rand paul is a friend of mine, but he is such a negative force when it comes to fixing health care. graham-cassidy bill is great.
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ends obamacare." so trump managed to claim three falsehoods in there. bill covers preexisting conditions. it doesn't. graham-cassidy bill is great. it's not. and rand paul is a friend of mine. he is? [ laughter ] >> his visceral response to attack people on their appearance, short, tall, fat, ugly. my goodness. that happened in junior high. are we not way above that? and would we not all be worried to have someone like that in charge of the nuclear arsenal? >> mr. trump. >> i never attacked him on his look. and believe me, there is plenty of subject matter right there. [ laughter ] that i can tell you. >> seth: plenty of subject matter right there. trump knows more about rand paul's appearance than he knows about his own health care bill. in fact, his rand paul burn book is 2,074 pages. [ laughter and applause ] so republicans are racing to jam through a health care bill that would destroy medicaid and strip coverage for millions of people, including those with preexisting conditions. could republicans really be shameless enough to pass this
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monstrous bill? >> who knows? stranger things have happened. [ light laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with emma stone, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks" be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. ♪ [bell rings] every year we take a girl's trip. remember nashville? kimchi bbq. amazing honky tonk? i can't believe you got us tickets. i did. i didn't pay for anything. you never do. send me what i owe. i got it. i mean, you did find money to buy those boots. are you serious? is that why you don't like them? those boots could make a unicorn cry. yeah, tears of joy. the bank of america mobile banking app. the fast, secure and simple way to send money. ♪ get on up, mama.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please give it up for the 8g band, right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, so happy thhis whole week. fred armisen has been with us. give it up for fred, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] fred, so excited you're in the new lego movie. >> fred: yeah. >> seth: "lego ninjago", and we've been showing -- so excited to show this is the lego character that you voice right there. >> fred: yeah. >> seth: his name is cole. >> fred: cole, yeah. >> seth: tell us a little bit about cole. >> fred: cole is the earth ninja. >> seth: oh, gotcha. >> fred: and he's like his mech's this bing thing that he goes inside for battles -- it has turntables in it. >> seth: fantastic. that seems so much like you. >> fred: yeah. i'm a d.j. >> seth: i want to ask you this, because i'm so impressed with the things you accomplish in life, being in the lego movie, doing another season of "portlandia," just incredible. congratulations on that wonderful show. [ cheers and applause ] >> fred: thank you. >> seth: and yet, despite that, i find you sometimes are a little -- don't take this the wrong way -- desperate for
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attention. [ laughter ] and because of that, you will make things up about yourself that are no less impressive than things you've actually accomplished. >> fred: uh-huh. >> seth: and -- [ laughter ] for example, and just tell me you can admit you were lying about this to get attention. i heard you backstage telling people that you also have ties to the kremlin. >> fred: i do. >> seth: fred. >> fred: i have -- >> seth: fred. >> fred: seth. >> seth: okay. >> fred: i have ties to the kremlin. >> seth: tell me what are your ties to the kremlin? >> fred: i'm -- well, okay. we've all run this, like -- rice? you know like rice paddies -- with like the -- you know, there's like the water, and you've got to go get the rice? >> seth: yeah, uh-huh. >> fred: so -- you sound like you don't believe me. >> seth: i don't believe you. >> fred: a bunch of us -- >> seth: i will say, it's a weird start to your ties to the kremlin. >> fred: a bunch of us -- >> seth: uh-huh. >> fred: run one of those together. >> seth: who do you mean, "a bunch of us"? who's the us? >> fred: guys from the kremlin. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> fred: you know, yuri. do you know yuri? >> seth: i don't know any of them. >> fred: okay. so they live outside of moscow. and i've met them and we were just like, "hey, we should sell rice." why not? everyone loves rice. so we just started this paddy. and we go in there and we have
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like, it's like a strainer. >> seth: i don't want to know the process of making -- [ laughter ] >> fred: why not? >> seth: well, i'm fascinated by your kremlin connection. >> fred: it's beautiful. so we just find like raw rice and we soak it. and it's real rice, and it's natural. and we go in there. you know, we roll up our pants. [ laughter ] you know, we have a strainer. you know, and then we sell it. like, for not that much profit. we just do it for the love of it. >> seth: okay. >> fred: that's what we do. >> seth: so your ties to the kremlin are that you started a rice company. >> fred: yes. yes. >> seth: i believe you. all right. give it up for fred armisen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is an academy award winning-actress you know from her work in "la la land," "the help" and "superbad." she stars as billie jean kin in the new film, "battle of the sexes", which tells the story of her 1973 tennis match against bobby riggs. it's in select theaters tomorrow and opens nationwide september 29th.
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let's take a look. >> i've got this beautiful lollipop for billy jean. i figure she's going to be a sucker for my lob. >> you know, i've got something for you too, bobby. actually, it's the ultimate gift for a male chauvinist. oh -- there you go. [ pig squeals ] >> ooh, that's okay. that's okay. >> any last words before the match, bobby? >> well, this match is for all the guys around the world who feel as i do that the male is king, the male is supreme. >> billy jean? >> i'm done talking. let's play. >> seth: please welcome to the show, the wonderful emma stone, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: hi, emma! >> hi, seth! >> seth: it's so good to see you. >> it's great to see you. >> seth: it's the first time i've seen you since the oscars. congratulations, you have an oscar. >> thanks. >> seth: that's so great. it's so well-deserved.
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[ cheers and applause ] where do you mind -- i'm assuming you get asked this a lot. but where do you keep it? >> my mom has it. >> seth: that's very sweet. >> yes. >> seth: did she ask before she took it? >> no. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> no, she did. >> seth: okay, nice. so did you have any -- so you didn't want it in your own home? >> no. it felt a little strange. >> seth: yeah. >> but i have two things in my apartment that are related to that kind of idea, which is a nickelodeon kids choice award. >> seth: oh, wow. >> which is an orange blimp that is also a kaleidoscope. >> seth: that's fantastic. >> and my spelling bee trophy from the fourth grade. i got first place in the spelling bee. >> seth: wow! yeah. [ cheers and applause ] that's really great. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> seth: do you remember your winning word? >> i was trying to think about this for a little while. and what i remember it to be -- i could be incorrect -- was a compound word, which is microfinance. >> seth: microfinance. >> go ahead. >> seth: m-i-c-r-o-f-i-n-a-n-c-e.
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>> and now i have to give you my trophy. >> seth: yeah. the way -- when you asked me to spell it -- 'cause i -- and i don't want to sound like a jerk, but that seems like a super easy word. >> it's a super easy word. i think i was also like 10 years old, but yeah, it was pretty easy. a pretty easy word. >> seth: yeah. i mean, what were people going out on? like mittens? [ laughter ] mittens was before. the guy who blew it. >> that josh. and mittens. couldn't handle it. >> seth: still can't wear mittens. he's so upset. >> you know josh. >> seth: this is very exciting that you got to work with billie jean king because -- >> yeah. >> seth: you actually spent time with her. >> yes. >> seth: and she was here last night, and you guys went to the u.s. open together. >> we did. >> seth: and here is a photo of you guys, enjoying each other's company. it seems like right here. >> really enjoying each other's company. >> seth: you seem very happy right here. you're enjoying her so much you want to obviously save it, so you can enjoy her on the road when she's not with you. but she said she's a very hard person to watch tennis with because she can't stop talking about what she's seeing. >> but i think that's why she's a great person to watch tennis
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with. >> seth: i would think the same. >> and i think i mentioned this before, but there is no one on billie jean's other side, so it's just me and she does live commentary the entire time. >> seth: oh, wow. >> right in your ear. >> seth: really? and you did not mind? >> i did not mind. i was learning so much. >> seth: is she mostly happy with what she's seeing or mostly not happy. >> it depends. she just -- every emotion she's having goes, you know, live stream with a bunch of facts interspersed of what's actually happening. >> seth: uh-huh. does it ever go outside of tennis, like i'm hungry? does that ever happen? [ laughter ] >> i think -- yeah, i mean she's just, she's enthusiastic. >> seth: oh. she's just running everything. >> yeah. it's all coming through. >> seth: and she's very enthusiastic. i found her very inspiring. we were talking backstage -- in our green room, billie jean king was just -- anybody walked by her, she would just grab and inspire. like, she would walk by -- >> he told me this backstage. it was the best. >> seth: she would grab somebody. the person who was putting her mic on. she was like, "do you like doing -- putting mics on?" and she was like, "i do." and she's like, "follow your dreams. [ laughter ] "but if you ever stop liking it -- if you ever stop liking it, you go do something else." and i was like, "wow she just really wants to get --" >> that's her in a nutshell. >> seth: yeah. >> she inspires everyone she meets. >> seth: yeah, she's wonderful. >> she's something else. >> seth: and you have never --
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this is the first time that you have played a real person. >> yes. correct. >> seth: so "la la land," that means, was not based on a true story. >> it's not based on a true story. >> seth: okay. none of that happened? >> it didn't happen. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> i have driven a prius before. >> seth: that's close enough for me. >> you know? >> seth: so it's based on a true story? >> it's based -- it's loosely based on a true story. >> seth: what was it -- did you find it -- was it extra burdensome to play somebody who is real? >> i mean, yes, definitely. it was -- there is a fear factor that goes into that. because she's going to sit down and see it at the end. and, you know, knowing that is pretty daunting. also the fact that i didn't play tennis before playing billie jean. >> seth: yeah. >> and then when i went to meet her, you know, there was that precedent. but, like, "hi, i'm an actress that's playing you that doesn't play tennis and i'm super shy." and she was like, "i'm super shy. you're playing me. you don't play tennis. what's going on." >> seth: what was the feeling when you first met billie jean king? >> i met her at her apartment. she lives in new york. and she was so sweet and warm and inspiring instantly. >> seth: yeah. >> you know, she really keys in on how to inspire you. so she brought me up to her apartment, and her partner
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ileana was there drinking out of a mug that said "it's good to be king." >> seth: fantastic. [ laughter ] >> it does seem pretty good to be king. >> seth: yeah. and then, you mentioned that you had never played tennis before. obviously, you're playing a woman who not only played, but we know from your experience at the u.s. open, will tell you what she thinks about your playing. >> exactly. >> seth: so, and i heard that you actually developed -- 'cause you didn't have to learn how to play tennis. you had to learn how to play old tennis. >> like billie jean, exactly. wooden rackets, '70s tennis. which one time i was actually at a public court learning with a trainer, and these guys were next to us, and they were like, "oh, tight. wooden rackets. that's pretty cool. and i was like, "i'm not being a hipster. [ laughter ] i'm just learning this form of tennis for work." but all right. i mean, i guess people do play wooden racket tennis probably. >> seth: yeah. oh, i'm sure there's plenty of dick heads in new york that are like, "i'm gonna play with my old jimmy connors racket." >> it's hard. >> seth: i would imagine it's hard. and you're starting from a place where you -- i mean, maybe it was easier for you because you
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didn't have to unlearn modern tennis. >> no, exactly. and it was kind of fun, because at the end of my lessons, once i got a little -- once i started understanding a little bit more, i would get to play for five minutes with a modern-day racket and a different grip, and i was like, "i can really hit!" >> seth: yeah. >> whoa! but before that, it was just my trainer was having to come up with choreography names to teach me. so it was like, you know, there's a shot that's like this, and that was called the ole. and then a volley was, "serve the pizza!" "serve the pizza!" [ laughter ] and he would just shout at me from across the course. "serve the pizza, run, ole!" and i was like -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: this is -- >> i just wanted to do her proud. >> seth: you just wanted to do her proud. she seemed very proud of you yesterday. so i think mission accomplished. >> i also had an amazing double, so things were good. >> seth: but let's give the credit where credit is due. this is your second movie with steve. >> yes. >> seth: but this movie is your third movie. >> this is my third movie with fred armisen. >> seth: fred armisen! >> fred: it's true. >> seth: three movies with fred. [ cheers and applause ] >> fred: three movies. >> seth: what were your -- what were your other movies with fred?
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>> fred, what were our other movies? >> fred: it was "the rocker," right? "easy a", and this one. >> seth: wow, that's great. three with fred. >> we've known each other for so long, fred. >> fred: we're like a movie duo. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> i guess you could say it's our ten-year friendaversary. >> seth: yeah, that's really great. >> did you get us anything? >> seth: uh, i got you fred's ninjago character. >> yes! that's what i was hoping for! >> fred: that's cool. [ applause ] >> this rocks. i'm going bring it to the rice paddy. >> fred: great, thank you. >> anytime. >> seth: i want to ask you about this. because you have obviously been doing this a long time. known fred for ten years. >> ten years. >> seth: that speaks to your time in the business. is it true that you, at one point, tried writing a script? like a television script? >> i don't understand how you guys found out this information. >> seth: we found out -- so i know it's true. so now i'm basically giving you an opportunity to either admit it or lie to me. >> it's true. >> seth: it's true. >> it's true. i was home-schooled in middle school. and i got to take a kind of screen-writing english class.
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and so i wrote an episode, a lost episode, of "mad about you" as a spec script, where paul reiser meets paul mccartney. and i believe it was called "the tale of two pauls." >> seth: wow, so, and now i have -- i did not remember "mad about you" being a show that middle schoolers were super into. >> i was so into "mad about you." >> seth: that's so great. you were just a middle schooler who was like, "i mean if i could write for anyone, it would be paul reiser." [ laughter ] >> his delivery is fantastic. i was like, "i know he'll nail this." >> seth: um, i think -- if we ever get both pauls in town, i'd love to do a reading of it. >> all right. that sounds great. but i don't know how to find it. that's crazy. i lost it, i guess. [ laughter ] so weird. >> seth: check under your spelling bee trophy. i think it's probably there. [ laughter ] >> i just folded it up and those are what i keep. my specs scripts, my troph. >> seth: thanks so much for being here, emma. it's such a delight to see you, as always. >> it's great to see you. >> seth: emma stone! [ cheers and applause ] "battle of the sexes" in select theatres tomorrow and nationwide september 29th. we'll be right back with kaitlin olson. ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is a very funny actress you know best from the popular fx show, "it's always sunny in philadelphia." she can be seen next in the second season of her hit series "the mick" premiering on september 26th at 9:00 p.m. on fox. let's take a look. >> back already? >> yeah, i just -- i couldn't help notice that i was sort of left out of that apology earlier. >> have some accountability, mickey. you don't hear me still complaining about that time you stole my identity. >> i borrowed your identity! they're not going to let you rent a jet ski without a credit card. >> did you need to ram it into the side of a yacht? >> i'm sorry, i was drunk. >> thanks to you i have a record in rhode island. >> is that why you never came back to visit? >> i had dreams and i owed it to myself to follow them. >> you became a stripper. >> wait, what? >> you slept with my boyfriend. >> that's because you slept with nick. >> oh, like you didn't do the same thing with derrick? >> damn, you guys tore through a lot of dudes. >> you chopped off my hair! >> yeah, as a joke! >> seth: please welcome to the show kaitlin olson, everybody!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> seth: hi, how are you? >> i'm so happy to be here. >> seth: i'm so happy to be here as well. i've been a fan of yours forever. >> i've been a fan of yours forever. >> seth: but then we -- i met you on sunday night. >> i did. >> seth: but just a few days before i was going to have you here. and it was really wonderful, because there's this little, like, green room bar. it's a very cool place to run into people. >> yes. >> seth: and right after we parted ways, you went over to speak to carol burnett. >> yes. it was backstage at the emmys. and i was so excited to see you, and then i was like -- "um, carol burnett's here, guys. anybody see that?" i was so excited. and i -- i composed myself and went up and introduced myself. and was -- and we talked for a minute. and i was like, "listen." because we are, actually next
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week, doing an episode where we need someone and we've been tossing her name around. and i was like, "i would love for you to do my show." >> seth: oh, so you were trying to basically close the deal and get her to commit. >> yeah, that's the time to do it. >> seth: yeah, exactly. >> that was my job. >> seth: right. >> and, you know, i was complimenting her. i have been a fan of hers. i mean, she was my idol when i was little. i was like, "please come do my show." and she was like, "that sounds awesome, thank you." and, you know, "let me know." that's when you stop talking to carol burnett. >> seth: right. [ light laughter ] >> that's when you stop talking. >> seth: yeah. >> because i didn't. >> seth: okay. >> no. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so you kept pushing it. >> because i was very nervous. >> seth: uh-huh. >> and when i'm nervous, i just don't stop. and so then i proceeded to tell her, "you know, yeah, it's a 100-year-old woman, and she's senile and she thinks that mickey's her long-lost lover. amd then we make out and you get naked. [ laughter ] so -- >> seth: so how did she react to that? >> well, she passed. >> seth: oh, she passed. [ laughter ] >> she passed the next day. casting called her and she passed. she blamed it on needing to prepare for her television special which is i think code for, you know, like, not wanting to be sexually assaulted. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: either way -- >> by a stranger. >> seth: look, you gave it your best effort. >> i really did. >> seth: you -- i went a hundred -- like, way overboard.
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>> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: well, look -- >> 300%. >> seth: you can't look back and have any regrets. that's what the emmys are for. >> it's very fresh. it's very fresh. i have a lot of regrets. [ light laughter ] >> seth: this show you play -- is it safe to say your character mickey is a bit of a disaster? >> oh, she's the worst. >> seth: she's the worst. >> yeah. >> seth: good heart. big heart. >> ah -- really? >> seth: taking care -- [ laughter ] >> have you seen it. >> seth: i have seen it. you're taking care of your niece and nephews while their parents are in jail. >> yes. >> seth: and were you drawn to this character in the beginning when you first found out about it. >> yeah. i mean, first of all, john and dave chernin are such amazing writers. and i read it and i was like, "i have got to do it, it was so funny." but it's so nice to play a character that really honestly just doesn't care what people think. >> seth: yeah. >> because i think on "sunny" i play sweet dee who cares about what the guys think so much that 12 years later she's still in this bar for some reason. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> right? trying to get them to like her which is totally ridiculous. but, yeah, yeah, i love it. >> seth: and scott mccarthur, who's a friend of mine, he plays your sort of on again/off again boyfriend. >> yes. >> seth: and you guys have a fantastic, like, almost chemistry i would say. but that, like, feeds into
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the -- >> he's got chemistry. >> seth: yeah. >> i'm like, meh. >> seth: yeah, it's really fun, actually, to have that -- like, that relationship in a show, which is he's so desperate for more in the relationship. >> yep. >> seth: and you just won't give him anything. >> eh. >> seth: yeah. >> eh. >> seth: so i think that's -- >> eh. >> seth: eh is kind of your reaction to everything he says. >> yes, scott's such an awesome guy and such a fun person to act with. and yeah, it's been amazing. >> seth: you -- i'm very impressed with this. you are, i would argue, are the greatest working physical comedian right now. there are so many -- you do so many stunts on the show. >> thank you! >> seth: so many falls. >> yeah. >> seth: do you get hurt during the stunts? >> well, i do a lot of stunts, and i get hurt all of the time, but never during the stunts. so, like, i'm -- >> seth: do you think it's because you're laser focused during the stunts and then let your guard down? >> yeah, so when we're doing the stunts i'm so body aware and, like, there's this and then there's this -- i get hurt -- i mean, from "sunny" to this every year i either go to the hospital or the emergency -- like it's -- i get very, very hurt. but never during -- never during. >> seth: what's a recent not-during-a-stunt injury?
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>> so we actually just a couple nights ago we were down in san pedro, we were shooting this thing. it was very late at night. my stunt guy who's been warned that i hurt myself -- was like -- [ laughter ] going over this fight that scott and i were having. it was just really that we're grappling over something and there is a lot of physical stuff but i'm wearing a long dress and heels and he was really worried about it. and we go over and go over it and i'm like, "i'm, fine, i'm good." and we get it all done and we do a great job. and at the end of the stunt, i'm so proud of myself because i don't hurt myself and i take a lot of pride in that now because everyone's betting against me. and i go over and i'm just supposed to talk into a microphone but it gets stuck. and so i was pulling on it and i bashed myself -- [ laughter ] in the face so hard. i think i am concussed. [ laughter ] i probably won't remember any of this. >> seth: and no one on the stunt team felt like they needed to talk to you about how to take a microphone off the stand. >> they thought the mic was safe. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] it was not. >> seth: they was not. >> not safe. >> seth: just so that people -- if people haven't seen the show, just so they don't think i'm exaggerating, these are a series of clips of stunts you have done on the show. >> oh, okay. >> seth: i mean, this is really like "the six million dollar man." the stuff you're doing here.
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[ laughter ] let's take a look at kaitlin doing her thing. >> whoa! ah! [ glass shatters ] ohh! wah! [ crash ] ah! [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: bravo! >> thank you. >> seth: bravo. >> thank you. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> no problem. >> seth: no problem with those. >> all that time. do not give me a microphone. >> seth: there you go. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, we're all in danger. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. >> so nice to see you. >> seth: it's just lovely to talk to you. >> thank you. >> seth: kaitlin olson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] second season of "the mick" premiers next tuesday at 9:00 p.m. on fox. we'll be right back with music from blondie. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ posting hashtag yeehaw. hashtag i have no signal and i still can't post out here. woah! look out, coming through. hey thomas. howdy there joy. see joy's got the new iphone with verizon unlimited.
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sold for eight thousand five!? hundred "unicorn in rouge." congratulations, sir. when you need help fast, call us with td asap on the td bank app and skip to the front of the line. hi alex, i have your account pulled up. how can i help? oh, uh... great. are you seeing this charge from an auction house? that doesn't look right. i'll take care of that.
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oh good. thank you. because when you need help, you need it asap. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: tonight's musical guests are music icons whose eleventh studio album "pollinator" is out now. here to perform "long time",
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please welcome blondie, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i've been running circles 'round a night that never ends i've been chasing ♪ ♪ heartache in a city and a friend i've been with you so long ♪ ♪ even seen you lose it but who cares racing down the bowery on a crowded afternoon ♪ ♪ dripping from the downpour of your insecure typhoon can you even want me or is this just a way ♪ ♪ to keep you sane take me then lose me then tell them i'm yours are you happy ♪ ♪ does it take you a long time does it make you upset does it make you think ♪
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♪ everybody wants to be your friend i can give you a heartbeat i can give you a friend ♪ ♪ i can make you think everybody wants to be your friend drinking with yourself ♪ ♪ but with a smile on your face happy in success but still a thousand miles away ♪ ♪ is this what you wanted is this everything you had in store take me then lose me ♪ ♪ then tell them i'm yours are you happy does it take you a long time does it make you upset ♪ ♪ does it make you think
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everybody wants to be your friend i can give you a heartbeat ♪ ♪ i can give you a friend i can make you think everybody wants to be your friend ♪ ♪ take me then lose me then tell them i'm yours take me then lose me then tell them i'm yours ♪ ♪ take me then lose me then tell them i'm yours take me then lose me then tell them i'm yours ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: give it up for blondie, everyone! the new album "pollinator" is out now. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] simon and garfunkel ] the 7-seater volkswagen atlas.
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♪ >> announcer: for more "late night", go to follow us on instagram and twitter @latenightseth. and be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook. head over to itunes and
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to emma stone, kaitlin olson, blondie, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] fred armisen, the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ >> carson: hey there, guys and gals! this is the lovely hilton hotel in universal city, our home for


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