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tv   Tavis Smiley  PBS  December 20, 2011 12:30am-1:00am EST

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wednesday. it's in i max theatres now. and already a giant hit. tom good to see you again. merry christmas, thank you very much. >> thank you very much. >> dave: my best to katie and everybody. we'll be back with anthony hamilton, everybody. [ child ] it's so cool! you can put a force field on him and be invisible! [ child 2 ] i call first player. no. i already called it. [ dad ] nobody's playing anything until after we get our homework done. thank you. hello? test drive's not over yet. [ male announcer ] it's practically yours. [ louder ] hello? but we still need your signature. right now during sign then drive, it's never been easier to get the all-new passat, the 2012 motor trend car of the year, for practically just your signature. that's the power of german engineering. visit
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captioning sponsored by worldwide pants and cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh >> dave: thank you, and thank you again. look, right here. our next guest say grammy award winnering singer an songwriter whose new cd is entitled back to of lo. please welcome back to the program, anthony hamilton, everybody. ♪
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>> ♪ i was like mindin' my business ♪ wasn't thinking 'bout strikin up no conversation ♪ uh uh but she has those ♪ thick thangs and a round about like the devil said ♪ boys how's bout a little temptation ♪ oh no she was so fine ♪ could not keep my eyes off her it was critical ♪ even biblical like just like delilah say >> ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh girl you're so bad ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh but it feels so good ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh i ain't never seen a girl so bad ♪ i've been like mr. perfect goody two shoes ♪ couldn't break me down for nothin' ♪ uh huh uh huh always knew that ♪ messin' round ain't worth it
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till i met her ♪ well so much for my nothing nothing ♪ yeaaah she was so fine ♪ she was so fine could not keep my eyes off her ♪ it was heavy like delilah ♪ set my soul on fire yeah ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh girl you're so bad ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh but it feels so good ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh i ain't never seen a girl so bad ♪ hey hey hey she's so fly she's so bad ♪ but she's trouble yeah kicks my strong ♪ makes me weak till i crumble ♪ i don't know what to do i see double ♪ forgive me if i wanna do wrong hey hey yeah ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh
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i ain't never seen a girl so bad ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh but it feels so good ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh never never never ♪ i ain't never seen a girl so bad ♪ never never seen a girl so fine ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh woo never in my life ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh hey hey hey hey ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh woo i've never i've never ♪ i've never seen a girl so bad never baby ( cheers and applause ) >> dave: hey, i mean isn't that it, really? isn't that all want. how are you dogs. i know you. you're not paying those guys, are you? oh, that's tremendous. anthony hamilton. what do you think, paul. >> paul: this guy's my favorite singer. >> dave: yeah i think so.
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absolutely. there you go. back to love. good for you, thank you very much for being here. stop by more often. and you know if i'm in town where you are appearing-- i'm coming by. >> okay, just come on by. >> dave: dow mind if i bring my friend tom. >> bring tom. >> dave: i will do that. >> and bring the guys outside. >> dave: all right, thanks for watching. good night, everybody. >> now stay tuned for crai craig: so let me get that straight, you're not geoff tonight. you're chloe but you're chloe banderas. >> geoff: it's so easy to understand. i'm the least famous of the banderas. craig: how come sometimes your
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personality changes to chloe banderas when you're normally geoff? geoff: here's the thing about the technology about geoff, this is the same technology that runs the apple 2e. that's like the most advanced computer in the world, you know? [laughter] craig: so you're telling me you're not that advanced, the computer? geoff: no, no, you see like "the terminator" those guys? craig: yeah. geoff: i'm like those guys. craig: right. geoff: i'm like two steps from a tivo machine. somewhere between a tivo and one of those real dolls that you have sex with. [laughter] craig: so is it technically possible for you to have sex? [laughter] was that you having sex right there? geoff: no! sometimes the christmas spirit was still inside of me.
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and i make some wind. [laughter] craig: you made some -- geoff: yes. i cannot make romance like a regular person, no. craig: you can't -- i'm sorry, i'm just explaining to people who don't understand comedy accent. if you don't understand the comedy accent, you've come to the -- ay caramba -- show. geoff: this is not the show for you. this is not the show for you is what he said. craig: wait a minute, are you translating me? geoff: i translate for you -- ay caramba! craig: everybody in america shall be -- geoff: we will put a christmas album together! craig: it will be chloe banderas and -- geoff: and friends! ♪ chloe banderas and friends ♪ craig: will i be one of your friends?
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geoff: i'ller -- i'll get back to you with that. craig: you sound like dan aykroyd. geoff: who can ever forget that one? craig: i've been in some bad movies but not as bad as that. geoff: don't say that. don't say that. don't say -- don't you ever say that. what about the -- what about the big teeth? i like this one. i like that guy. you're so young in that one. [laughter] craig: it is a long time ago. geoff: you're so young. i'm going to change everybody's hairdos. craig: you didn't see the movie, did you? geoff: i skimmed the trailer. [laughter] craig: we'll be right back, everybody. we'll be right back. ♪it's hard to stay up it's been a long long day and you've got the sandman at your door but hang on
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leave the tv on and let's do it anyway it's ok you can always sleep through work tomorrow ok hey hey tomorrow's just your future yesterday♪ >> "the late late show with craig ferguson," sponsored by -- so humpty dumpty had a... great fall. ugh, it's my sinus congestion, and it's all your fault. naturally blame the mucus. he's funny. instead of blaming me, try this, advil congestion relief. often the real problem is swelling, not mucus. advil congestion relief reduces swelling due to nasal inflammation. so i can breathe. happily ever after. another story? from him! [ mucus ] advil congestion relief. the right relief for the real problem.
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[ seth ] i've been looking a little. got any ideas? you know me. i've always got ideas. [ male announcer ] show her she's loved with a helzberg diamonds gift box. godiva chocolate gems and diamond pendant. i love you. you do? [ laughs ]
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>> ladies and gentlemen, craig ferguson! [captioning made possible by worldwide pants, inc., and the cbs television network.] captioned by the national
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captioning institute [cheers and applause] craig: hey, everybody! hey, look at you! come on in. hi, everybody. welcome. welcome to los angeles, california. welcome to "the late late show." i am your host, tv's craig ferguson. thank, everybody! shhh. quietly. ooh. settle. shhh. settle down. all right, everybody. settle down. sit down. quietly. quietly. that's right. stop your cheering, oh, yes. michael got very excited there because a lady from the audience blew me a kiss and i blue her a kiss. and he thought i was blowing him a kiss. he was like, oh, finally chris mace time. it's for for you, bitch.
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it's for the lady sitting behind you and it's for you at home. that would be sexy, isn't it? it's a great day for america, everybody! [cheers and applause] it is. it's monday, of course. monday, december the 19th. it's the run-up -- december the 19th already? where the hell did the year go? no, it's december the 19th. christmas is coming. the goose is getting fat. sorry, the goose is getting overweight. morbidly o bees. -- obese. [laughter] did you see "the -- the
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"sherlock holmes" movie. i've heard it's the best movie ever. i was actually up for a part in the "sherlock holmes." not the movie. in the west alameda community theater. i was this close to getting it. damn you, erik estrada. [laughter] "sherlock holmes" has been around for a while. the original books came out in the 1800's. did you know that he never actually said, "elementary my dear watson." he did say, oh, please senor ding-a-ling. let's solve crimes! robert downey jr. plays sherlock holmes. he's much sexier than the sherlock homes i remember growing up.
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do question -- we have a picture? show me that again. take that picture to my office. i'm kidding. i don't have an office. [laughter] can we see the picture of the sherlock holmes i grew up watching? look at the size of that ball. look at that. [laughter] what i'm going to do is i'm going to stand next to this globe to imply i've got massive testicles. but to me that's what sherlock holmes is supposed to look like. do we have one of his sexy pictures? yeah, see. [laughter] the pipe's a classy touch. old-timey sherlock holmes always smoked a pipe. he didn't just smoke a pipe, he was also a cocaine addict. that's true in the novels he was like --
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[laughter] he's like -- i could solve this. [laughter] he's like oh, please senor ding-a-ling. why would you cast robert downey jr.? >> no, i like -- i like robert downey jr. i like him. he's been through a lot. and i like that he's hope about his troubles. but i'll tell you this -- you cannot solve crimes when you're on cocaine. my own research has proved that you can't. you can however, commit crimes. take that, statute of limitations. oh, please, senor ding-a-ling. some people are upset that sherlock holmes is played with robert downey. we put up with an english batman
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and superman. we're the ones that should complain for these english people taking over our jobs! are you having a hard time with this, dude? hey, wait a minute. [laughter] robert downey jr. is a natural for this role because in the movie "iron man" he was a crime fighter, with a beautiful assistant played by gwyneth paltrow. and in "sherlock holmes" he's a crime fighter with a beautiful assistant with jude law. jude law is sherlock's special friend. you know? you know, dr. watson, his long time companion, you know that man who stuff's his pipes? are you insinuating that gray and holmes are gay? no, shut up! they're just like better -- bert
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and ernie -- all right that's a bad example. do we have a picture of jude law? there it is. [laughter] that's nice. let me see that again. yeah. ♪ i can feel it in the air tonight ♪ [laughter] it couldn't have been easy for detectives back in the days of sherlock holmes because the c.s.i. black light hadn't been detected if sherlock holmes would have to identify a stain, he would have to, you know, he would have to smell it. watson, i do believe this is ass. [laughter] the character of sherlock holmes created by sir author conan
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doyle. looks like we've solved the case of woolford brimley. diabetes. no he was from edinburgh, scotland. yep, that's all i've got from that actually. do you read the sherlock holmes, do you, geoff? geoff: craig, si. craig: it's not geoff tonight. it's chloe banderas. geoff: it's chloe banderas! the least famous of antonio banderas' brothers. [laughter] craig: really? who are the most famous brothers of antonio banderas that i perhaps should and don't. geoff: mario. craig: mario? geoff: guillermo. craig: guillermo. geoff: and then there's one just called rick. and then of course, the one from
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the motion picture, puss and boots. that's antonio. craig: that's antonio banderas. are you like the jacksons? did you perform? geoff: by that do you mean unemployed, looking for jobs? do you mean trying to ring -- wring every penny out of the famous one? yes. craig: that's probably enough! i don't want to know everything about your family. geoff: we are exactly like that, craig. craig: ok. do you read the "sherlock holmes." geoff: i do. i do. when i read it, it give mess a rath boner. craig: is that acceptable on the cbs network? [laughter] geoff: we're going to find out when this airs. craig: yeah. you mean, when it airs tonight.
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geoff: the 19th of christmas week. [laughter] craig: thank you for your support chloe banderas. can you take us to the commercial break then? geoff: now it's feliz na i have dad, go -- navidad, go to the breaks! ♪
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craig: welcome back, everybody! welcome back, we're very excited, of course. it's monday, the start of the the christmas week. it's the official lighting of the official christmas tree. are you ready chloe banderas? geoff: si. craig: ok. here we g. [cheers and applause] take that new york city! -- and your giant thing tree from -- do you ever go to new york and see that big tree there -- geoff: the rockefeller place. craig: i didn't get any of that, i'm sorry. something about rockefeller? geoff: that's right. that's exactly wheres the. a magnificent tree. not as good as the grove in los angeles. craig: the grove, in los angeles is a lovely tree and many
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products are lovely and available there. geoff: do you work for them now? craig: no. i would like to work for the grove because they used to shoot episodes of "entourage." remember that show "entourage." geoff: yeah. craig: that really showed l.a. where it is. girls walking around with bikinis and high heels which is the look that is favored people in fiction. [laughter] you try getting any woman to wear a bikini in high heels in your own life and you'll find out that won't happen. i've said too much. have you ever seen a woman in real life wearing a bikini in high heels? geoff: but that was -- well, sometimes we go down to ciudad juarez. craig: i t y


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