tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC September 14, 2010 12:05am-1:05am EDT
okay, time now for tonight's closing arguments. so far, president obama is sticking by his promise to extend the bush era tax cuts for families that make up to $250,000 but allowing rates to rise. for higher earners. republicans say that's a tax hike that will hurt small businesses and kill jobs. many democrats are skittish on this issue. tonight we wanted to ask you, is killing the bush tax cuts for the wealthiest political poison for the democrats or given the populous mood in the country, is this an issue they can use to try to stem what looks like the coming republican tide in november? tell us what you think about this political question at the "nightline" facebook page or the "nightline" page at abcnews.com. that's our report for tonight. good night. on the show tonight, from
"dancing with the stars" david hasselhoff is with us. from "top chef," eric ripert is going to cook an octopus. music tonight from green day. and if you didn't see the vmas last night on mtv, lady gaga, one of her outfits was made completely of meat. and we managed to get ahold of that outfit and tonight -- come on in, guillermo. the actual outfit worn by lady gaga. that is -- [ cheers and applause ] what happened to the dress? >> oh, it's inside of me, jimmy. >> jimmy: it's inside you? >> yes. >> jimmy: every time he wears meat. oh, well. back in two minutes. [ female announcer ] imagine skin so healthy, it never gets dry again.
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david hasselhoff. chef eric ripert. and music from green day. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live and now, in all honesty, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, everyone. thank you for being here. thank you for watching. i'm so excited tonight. i don't know where to start.
oprah, football -- i think i'll start with football. yesterday, the first sunday of a brand-new nfl season, which is especially exciting for me because nfl season means "dancing with the stars" season is right around the corner. j. che [ cheers ] the redskins played last night. keith brooking, the linebacker for dallas, motivated his teammates with one of the most passionate pregame speeches i -- this reporter has ever heard. [ laughter ] >> yes, yes! the lights are on! they have opened the doors to their house! we got a situation on our hands! this is what we must do! we have to fight! we got to fight! we got to fight! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a lot of -- a lot going on there.
[ cheers and applause ] and, those of you who watched the name, know the cowboys lost 13-0. so so much for the scratching and bleeding. also last night, the video music awards on mtv. the long-awaited face-off between taylor swift and kanye west. in case you weren't aware, last year, kanye west -- did he shoot her? whatever. he did something bad to her. which is smart. the best way you make sure you don't get interrupted by kanye is to sing a song about kanye. i got to hand it to her. a lot of class. the song is called "forgiveness." ♪ ♪ kanye you mother [ bleep ] [ bleep ] ♪ ♪ bleep bleep
♪ beyonce can kiss my [ bleep ] ♪ ♪ yeah >> jimmy: well, at least he had a good humor about it. [ cheers and applause ] well, that happened. and then kanye west had his time to shine. he actually came out and played a solo of some sort of -- sampling keyboard. i didn't know kanye west played an instrument but i guess he does. here's kanye tickling the electronic ivories. ♪
[ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, kanye west! >> jimmy: you know what, never had a lesson. never had a lesson. [ cheers and applause ] but the biggest star of the night last night was undoubtedly lady gaga. she won eight vmas and showed up covered in actual meat. this atkins diet is getting out of control. she said she wore the meat to protest the military's don't ask, don't tell policy. makes sense. [ laughter ] i can't imagine wearing meat. i mean, that's -- that's a long show. she came wearing meat, she left weari ining jerky. it was disgusting. i hope they -- i hope this inspires an episode of "project runway" because i would love to hear tim gunn say, designers, you have 30 minutes to skin this moose and turn it into wearable
runway fashion. make it work. sadly, though, lady gaga's meat dress did not make it all the way home with her. >> thank you so much. i was so nervous for tonight that i would let my fans down -- [ dogs barking ] [ screaming ] attacked by dogs. sadly -- [ cheers and applause ] this is in a -- one of those happened to be shaggy little dog that lives on justin bieber's head. [ laughter ] mtv last night showed a special bonus episode of "the jersey shore." it was a good one. mike the situation found himself in a bit of a fix because his roommate, pauley, brought a girl home, and he didn't have a girl that night, so the situation made the best of -- well, the situation. >> there's one thing i don't like is my boy pauley bringing home a girl and that never happens, never happens. and this chick was just straight like whatever. ain't nothing wrong with that, you know? because i had a first row seat
for a slam session. i sit back with my sandwich. i'm just eating my sandwich. like -- and then once in a while pauley would look at me like -- >> jimmy: generous. [ cheers and applause ] they were, like, this is what animals do in the zoo. not only is he sitting there watching him mate, while they do it, he's eating. that's not supposed to happen with humans. it really -- they're going to be eating bugs off each other eventually. yesterday, in case you didn't know, it was grandparents appreciate day. i'm sure it was -- the grandparents of that young lady in the bed with pauley on television. two of our local news anchors on kcal tv talked about grandparents day. this is why it sometimes pays to have a little get to know you chat with your co-workers.
>> did you get your grandparents something today? did you? >> i don't have any grandparents anymore but -- >> oh, well, neither do i, but i know there's people out there who do. >> jimmy: all of our relatives are dead -- today was the first new show of oprah's final season, according to the bible -- [ laughter ] oh, did you see this picture of oprah -- there's an ad in a lot of papers today. look at this picture. i guess she's in heaven now. finally got her wings. in a way, this is like a death. after 24 years and 1,800 pounds of yo-yo diets, oprah's final season is upon us. oprah had a huge surprise for her audience today. first she burned the koran. then she announced that she's taking them all on a trip. >> i should take all of you with me --
[ cheers and applause ] to the other side of the world! [ cheers and applause ] you're going to australia! we are going to australia! you and you and you are going to australia! [ cheers and applause ] we're going to australia! >> jimmy: wait, where are they going? oh, australia. why didn't she say that the first time? yes, oprah's taking her entire audience to australia where she will re lease them into the outback and hunt them for sport. [ cheers and applause ] it will be some trip. [ applause ] it makes it very hard on other -- on other hosts. oprah says she always wants to go to australia. she wants to see if $100 bills flush down the toilet backwards.
not only are they going to australi australia, john travolta is flying them there. john that vol thravolta is a pi. he's flying the plane to australia. the fate of 300 passengers and our most beloved national treasure is in the hands of vinnie barbarino and they're excited about it. i'd rather have a regular pilot. we can't afford to send our audience to australia. we don't have oprah money. i know. but we did want to do something for you special. so tonight one of you will go to the outback steakhouse -- [ cheers ] that's right. where you -- [ cheers and applause ] where you will enjoy a blooming onion on us so -- [ laughter ] you know what would be the worst? than being in the oprah audience for her second show of the season. yesterday, the audience got a trip to australia.
you guys get a candle with an "o" on it. travolta was on the show in his pilot's uniform. i always find hilarious. it looks like he showed up an hour early for a halloween party and no one else is dressed up. they surprised oprah with a mystery guest. >> the farewell season premiere of oprah. >> with john travolta. >> and -- >> no idea, who's the mystery man? >> don johnson! [ laughter ] >> no! >> next oprah. >> jimmy: well, it's -- you know what are you going to do? after australia, it's going to be a letdown. don johnson. sorry, don. one more thing, you probably know it's election season. here in california we have to choose a new governor. our current governor's -- died.
and now we will vote on prop 19. if passed will allow californians to carry up to one ounce of marijuana for personal use. everyone who's clapping is going to be arrested as you leave. voters are very evenly divided on prop 19 which means it will probably fail because most of the people who support it, let's be honest, will forget to vote. [ laughter ] but tensions are running very high. some african-american clergymen are particularly unhappy that the head of the california chapter of the naacp supports prop 19 and they made that unhappiness known at the state capitol in sacramento. >> -- church service, ministers and anti-drug act investments denouncing the idea of legalizing marijuana. >> why don't we legalize crack cocaine? why don't we legalize burglary? why don't we legalize spousal abuse? all of those things are part of the devastation --
>> jimmy: that guy in the background's not high? i find that very, very difficult to believe. [ cheers and applause ] we have a good show for you tonight. >> oh, good show, get 'em, jimmy. >> jimmy: from "top chef," eric ripert is here tonight. >> oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have music tonight from green bay. >> oh, music, yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and we'll be right back with david hasselhoff. >> oh, david hasselhoff. [ cheers and applause ] [ woman ] nine iron, it's almost tee-time...
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here we go. capital one bank. they're everywhere. hey, ove, i'm gonna need a bank. any ideas? ♪ yeah, you're right! [ horns honking ] hey, there's one right up the street. [ male announcer ] capital one bank. the most branches and atms in the dc area. what's in your wallet? ove, go long! >> jimmy: hi there, we're back. from the show "top chef," chef
eric ripert is here. and then later on -- from the bud light stage, in front of the jets/ravens monday night football crowd, music from green day tonight. kathy griffin will be here. j joanna garcia will be here. music from the frontman of the killers, brandon flowers. dr. phil, nathan fillion, and music from trace adkins and usher. ben affleck will be here. with his new movie. excelle excellent. i'm not just saying that because we love each other. it really is. how you doing, guillermo? i bet you're going to be delicious tonight when you get home. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is an incredible man. he saved countless swimmers from certain death and survived a vicious roasting of his own last month on comedy central. starting one week from tonight,
you can see him on the 11th season premiere of "dancing with the stars." please say hello to david hasselhoff. [ cheers and applause ] how's it going? >> wow. whatever you guys are on, i want some of it. [ cheers and applause ] what do you mean how's it going? i'm doing "dancing with the stars," it's horrible. >> jimmy: is it really horrible? >> i'm not -- i'm telling you, it's hard. >> jimmy: you have to practice a
lot, don't you? >> yeah, yeah, it's mentally draining because it's not like just going up and doing "the producers" where you just put on a dress, hang out and do mel brooks material. you've got to walk the walk. it's a tough thing. >> jimmy: did you rehearse today? >> yes. >> jimmy: how long? >> five hours. >> jimmy: really, five hours? [ applause ] >> taking it serious. we're doing the cha-cha hasselhoff. >> jimmy: who is your partner? >> my partner -- my partner is kym johnson. >> jimmy: and has -- >> yes, and we're -- we're trying to design a t-shirt like i got hoff with my johnson down under. but i don't think they'll allow me to do that. it's a family show. >> jimmy: i think you could do it. >> she's from australia and that's where the hoff was invented. >> jimmy: the hoff was invented in australia. >> the name hoff came from australia. >> jimmy: how's that? >> a bunch of secretaries
started doing a viral video and viral e-mails become to each other. >> jimmy: and calling you the hoff. >> like desperate hoff-wives. some like it hoff. >> jimmy: and it set off like a chain of puns that is unstoppable. >> unstoppable. >> jimmy: your dance partner must want to kill either you or herself with all these hoff things. i mean, like what time are we hoff? do you do things like that? >> are you on or hoff today, right, yeah. you know, hoff my rocker, yeah. >> jimmy: there's a lot of them. >> yeah, you know. she's really hot though. >> jimmy: oh, she is. >> she told me that she doesn't date any of her dance partners till either we're eliminated or we win. so i said we're going out in the first round. >> jimmy: that's not -- [ cheers and applause ] that's not a great way to motivate. >> you know, she really -- i mean, you know, i put on my little ray-bans and i stay there and she goes, oh, my god, you're the hoff. i said, i know i look good as
the hoff. as soon as i move, i don't have a chance. but she's terrific. >> jimmy: you feel like you're in the a good dancer? >> i feel like i'm a tree and she's the koala bear. she just climbs up. i spin her around. she lands over here. >> jimmy: you think you will win? you feel like you're really going to go for this and -- i have to figure out who i'm going to bet on. that's an important thing for me. >> you know what, let's do this. >> jimmy: but you have to be confident -- >> absolutely not, i'm not going to win. >> jimmy: you're not going to win, okay. >> if i was a betting man and i'm watching the game in the crediti in dressing room, i would bet on everybody else. >> jimmy: really? you think it's because of that thing she put in your head that perhaps you might make sweet, sweet love if you're eliminated? 'cause i got bad news for you. you're not going to get eliminated early. you're going at least to the second half. >> okay.
>> jimmy: based on just the hoffness of the whole thing in general. >> so the foreplay will go on for at least two or three rou rounds. >> jimmy: i'm saying it's going to be more than two or three rounds. i think you might as well try to run it. i think something's going to click for you at about week five. >> i'm trying to win it right now, to be honest with you. >> jimmy: you are? [ cheers and applause ] >> it's more fun if people take it seriously. >> believe me, i'm taking it seriously. it's a lot of fun. it's a great show, you know? my gosh it reaches like 40 million people. >> jimmy: right. >> i'm hoping, i'm banking 10% of them come out and see me in loafland next week. >> jimmy: are you in loffland next week? >> i'm in loffland next week. >> jimmy: you missed out on a huge opportunity to call it hoffland by the way. >> hoffland. i'm in hoffland on tuesday. there's a classic car show. my car kit will there be. >> jimmy: oh, you still drive
kit. >> that's right. they took away my license so kit drives me everywhere now. >> jimmy: are you doing -- you have like a stage show there? >> yeah, i'm doing -- >> jimmy: what do people see when they come to see you? >> they see me speaking english. my german show in english. >> jimmy: you sing and you dance and all that sort of thing? >> yeah. kind of like what i've been doing overseas for about, you know, 20 years. i just finally brought the show to america. >> jimmy: what's going on with you and germany? what is -- what kind of -- there's some sort of weird relationship there. >> you have to go to my website. hasselhoff.com. you will see the hasselhoff house. >> jimmy: what is that? >> it comes from the word hazelnut tree and hasselhoff is the name -- i found my great-great-grandfath great-great-grandfather's house, the real hasselhoff house, with a ticket of my great-great-grandparents coming over on a boat from a town called vulkersen which is outside of veramen and i went to
the house they were actually in and i have a ticket from veramen to baltimore, maryland, with my great-great-grandfath great-great-grandfather's signature which is really weird because it looks like my signature. >> jimmy: it would be awesome if you found a picture and he had his shirt opened up to his navel. >> there was a house in germany, it would just be hasselhoff, germany. >> jimmy: just david. >> why didn't you come and do the comedy central roast? i wanted you to host it. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: well thank you. >> what do you mean you did? what kind of -- >> jimmy: i'm going to tell you something honestly. every year they ask me to host and every year they tell me the person really wants you to host. pamela anderson, they said, she really wants to host and then it seemed like she didn't know who i was. >> we got this frost/nixon thing going on here. we got to keep it going. >> jimmy: these interviews, i'm telling you, we have to do a multipart interview where we
really examine and go into the history of -- well, the hoff, and really everything you're thinking on every topic imaginable. >> that's right. i think it -- >> jimmy: you have a lot of things going on. you've got a reality show you're working on with your daughters? >> yes, it's called the hasselhoffs. it's about my daughter's music career and my daughter haley just got the lead in "huge" on abc family channel. jw. >> and it's doing really well. it's written by winnie hol dstrom. she stars in that. it's about kids going to a weight loss camp. my other daughter and i and haley just got back from germany where i kind of threw them to the wolves. i took them on a tour, a rock tour, and they opened for me. >> jimmy: oh, they did, and they made the family proud? >> and they got a record deal out of it. >> jimmy: you also have -- you also -- i know you've got an iphone app i hear. >> yeah, ask the hoff. >> jimmy: where people can ask questions of the hoff. >> yeah.
just kind of shake it. it's kind of like those 8-balls when we were kids. >> jimmy: i got you. and you've got -- what's the other -- you have -- oh, a gps. >> yeah, hoff road. the gps is great because it gets dirty. >> jimmy: you are in the car -- >> what are you, nut, turn around. >> jimmy: in the car speaking to people driving? >> yes. >> jimmy: and kit doesn't have a problem with this? that's kind of his gig, isn't it? >> kit's in rehab. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, yeah, he's there -- >> jimmy: he's doing all right? is that right? >> he can't get a job. he's washed up. everybody wants a car just like kit. >> jimmy: should sent him over to germany. they love that sort of thing over there. did they see the roast in germany? >> you know, th actually k so. know, th actually this show over here. >> why? this show over here. >> why? >> jimmy: right. did they like it? any reaction fro the germans?
>> you know, e a couple jokes in there. you know, there's some pretty 's very xxx. you know, you were on it. >> jimmy: i know what goes on in those roasts. a lot of the stuff gets cut out, a lot of the really bad stuff. >> they're going to show it? germany. one things was david very like hitler er in germany although hitler knew when his career was over. >> jimmy: not only do you have all this stuff going on, -r you working out, you look good?>> no.o ch app >> jimmy: you can randomly, like, just walk off a hit show like "america's got talent" because you have so many things going on, including a nature show. >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: which is -- that's a new thing for you, isn't it? >> you know, i didn't think you guys were going to show this because this is, like, really close to my heart. >> jimmy: you love animals. >> i love this new ecosystem i'm promoting it. pamela anderson's out promoting. >> jimmy: we have a clip of the
show. from animal planet. david hasselhoff's new show. >> borneo. the galapagos. fiji. three of the world's most unique environments. but they are nothing compared to what i am about to show you. hello, i'm david hasselhoff and i invite you into a completely new uncharted ecosystem. a world of rare beauty and breath-taking excitement. a world that lives inside my chest hair. the majesty. the joy. the danger. and the babymaking. there's so much to explore. whoa! as we go hoff the map. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: david hasselhoff, everybody. watch him on "dancing with the stars" starting monday night on abc. right back with eric ripert. folks, applebee's 2 for 20 is better than ever this season.
octopus for us. from "top chef" on bravo, please welcome chef eric ripert. so first of all, "top chef" do you enjoy that job? >> yeah. i mean, for me, it's like a vacation. >> jimmy: is it? >> yes. because i cook in my kitchen. peeling onions, carrots. however, "top chef," i eat, i say what i think. >> jimmy: do you insult people? >> no, i'm polite. >> jimmy: do you feel comfortable with that? >> i think i am very fair. i try to use vocabulary that is not insulting. >> jimmy: and -- >> sometimes it's hard because sometimes the food is very bad. >> jimmy: yeah, right, yeah. >> and sometimes it's easy to compliment the candidates. >> jimmy: when you were a young chef, learning, when you were working in the kitchen, did you have guys insulting and mean to me? >> yes. all my chefs. it was called the french way. what was called the french way. one of them was very violent.
had to physically run from the kitchen to escape the guy. >> jimmy: really? >> thank god -- >> jimmy: really? a violent fat man, wow. >> something like that. >> jimmy: wow. okay. i just want to say then if i do anything wrong, please do not commit an act of violence. >> i won't, i promise you. >> jimmy: i am an amateur. we've got a monster here. >> this is a beauty. >> jimmy: this is an octopus. >> it's an octopus, exactly. >> jimmy: how fresh is this? how long ago -- >> that was in the water yesterday. >> jimmy: yesterday? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you keep it in the tub? [ laughter ] where did it come from? >> yes, in my suitcase. no, that comes actually not theed the mediterranean. today was fedexed -- i don't want to mention brands -- >> jimmy: that's going to be a surprise if it companies to the wrong address. okay, so -- >> for sure.
>> jimmy: i tell you, i've cooked octopus a couple times before. not the whole thing. usually i'll get it cleaned somewhat. it's come out either too hard or too soft. once it was too hard and once too mushy. >> because you cook it too much or not enough. >> jimmy: yeah, well, i figured. so show me how to do it right so i don't screw it up the next time. >> first of all what we're going to do is take the ink out of octopus. like that. >> jimmy: through the eyeball. good night, everyone, we just -- no one left watching. >> this is actually very tasty. squid ink is actually very tasty. you want to do one? >> jimmy: i'll do this one. >> just like the hole in the eye. go ahead. then press inside -- >> jimmy: then squeeze it in the ball. like a zit. >> a bit more. that's it. you got it. >> jimmy: oh, boy. wow. that's a beauty. okay. and then we drink this?
>> no, that we're going to keep it for a bit later to make the sauce. then you have to tenderize the octopus. you know to tenderize the octopus? >> jimmy: right? >> not like that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's really how you're supposed to do it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i should go out in the street and hit a pedestrian like this. that's it. you got it. how many times? >> you can do it as much as you want. the more you do it the more -- but i think we're going to put it in a pan. >> jimmy: put it in the pan. >> if you want to put the garnish with it to give it some flavor. >> jimmy: what -- >> onion, garlic -- >> jimmy: put it in there? >> yes. we let it cook for an hour. >> jimmy: and we'll be back in an hour. >> no. an hour later, is ready. >> jimmy: look at that. what happened to the head? >> the head is underneath. see.
>> jimmy: wow, the head shrunk. like a witch doctor here. >> and then we gonna cut the legs like that. just separating one leg. you want to cut one? >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> just one goes into a marinade. take this knife. watch out, it's very sharp. it's a marinade made with olive oil, garlic, onions, paprika. >> jimmy: okay, put it right in there? >> yes. a little bit. we can add more if you want. we're not going to need too many, only you and i. >> jimmy: you have no idea how many octup ii could eat. normally, you would put it on what -- >> normally, if you have a nice -- but we put it in the machine. then we open. >> jimmy: whoa. >> it's grilled. caramelized. so what you have to do is -- >> jimmy: that looks beautiful.
>> this part is going to be dry and not very good so you cut it in, like, one, two, three, let's say five, six pieces. while i'm cutting, you want to mix the sauce? >> jimmy: sure. >> so this is chives that you have already fermented with ginger, pear -- >> jimmy: where did you learn that accent? it's wonderful. [ laughter ] >> jalapeno. >> jimmy: mix it up. >> you mix it up. i'm going to prepare the dish. i have the ink from octopus. then we add some balsamic vin fwer. >> jimmy: what happened to corks? didn't they put -- >> that's a legend. >> jimmy: no wonder mine came out bad. >> make octopus tender but at the end of the day, doesn't. >> jimmy: it doesn't, okay. >> then we're going to place our octopus like that. >> jimmy: okay. >> maybe one more piece.
like that. then i have some pear. the pear is going to bring some crunch and some freshness to the dish. >> jimmy: where's my darling little guillermo? is he around here? guillermo, come here for a second. i have a feeling you're not going to want to taste this. >> then, a little -- >> jimmy: a little basil. and put some sauce. and add some arugula. guillermo, have you ever eaten an octopus before? >> i have. >> did you like it? >> yes. >> jimmy: come on, you neverate an octopus. >> in mexico. >> jimmy: that wasn't an octopus. that was a squid. >> then you have the dish like that. >> jimmy: that's lovely. try that, guillermo. eat the whole thing together? [ cheers and applause ] delicious.
wow. chef eric ripert. "top chef" finale is wednesday night at 10:00 on bravo. we'll put the whole recipe on our website. thank you very much. great to have you here. next, green day. get any phone free only at verizon when you buy the hot new samsung fascinate with its super amoled screen. get a free samsung intensity, a free blackberry bold or any other phone in our lineup. don't miss out. offer ends soon. buy a samsung fascinate and any other phone is free.
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. yes, i am enormous. i'm here tonight via the miracle of jumbotron to introduce one of the greatest bands in the world. here from the bud light stage at new meadowlands stadium with the original broadway cast of american idiot and the song "last of the american girls," let's have a gang green welcome for green day! ♪ ♪ she puts her makeup on like graffiti on the walls
of the heartland ♪ ♪ she's got her little book of conspiracies right in her hand ♪ ♪ she is paranoid endangered species headed into extinction ♪ ♪ she is one of a kind well, she's the last of the american girls ♪ ♪ she wears her overcoat for the coming of the nuclear winter ♪ ♪ she is riding her bike like a fugitive of critical mass ♪ ♪ she's on a hunger strike for the ones who won't make it for dinner ♪ ♪ she makes enough to survive for a holiday of the working class ♪ ♪ she's a runaway of the establishment
incorporated ♪ ♪ she won't cooperate well, she's the last of the american girls ♪ ♪ she plays her vinyl records singing songs on the eve of destruction ♪ ♪ she's a sucker for all the criminals breaking the laws ♪ ♪ she will come in first for the end of western civilization ♪ she's an endless war she's a hero for the lost cause ♪ ♪ like a hurricane in the heart of the devastation ♪ ♪ she's a natural disaster she's the last of the american girls ♪
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