tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC September 25, 2010 12:05am-1:05am EDT
and finally tonight, new details from that dramatic bank heist today in coral gables, florida. the manhunt continues for three men accused of strapping a device they said was a bomb onto the body of a bank teller and forcing him to rob the branch where he worked. police at this point say they believe the teller was an unwitting victim. that is our report for tonight. from all of us at abc news, good night, america, and have a terrific weekend. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with the play of the week from the bud light playbook, your pigskin companion all season long. it's fun to watch football, but it's also nice to spend some time outdoors. so how do you do both?
simple. bring your tv outside. it's like having your cake and eating it, too. >> i didn't have any cake. >> jimmy: it's just a figure of speech. >> gimme some cake. >> i'd like a slice of cake, too. >> jimmy: there's no cake, okay? here, have a bud light. enjoy. >> here we go. this is better than cake. >> can i have some cake? >> jimmy: there's no cake, okay? i want to make this very clear. no cake. >> do we have pie? >> yeah, pie. >> jimmy: there's no pie. and there's no cake. you know what? i think i'm going to watch the second quarter inside. this tv's not even plugged in. >> no, it's not. >> pie. >> pie. pie! pie! pie pie! >> can i have one of those? >> yeah, sure, here. >> dicky: for more tailgate tips, plays of the week and other shenanigans, visit facebook.com/budlight. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with "science bob" pflugfelder, music from primus and joaquin phoenixz
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- joaquin phoenix. "science bob" pflugfelder. jake byrd, celebrity avenger with lindsay lohan. and music from primus. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, if that's not enough, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you very much, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming to visit. tonight, i'm planning to give at least 84%, which is a lot for me. [ applause ] it's more than oprah gives, i'll tell you that. lindsay low land had a bad morning. she failed -- she failed a drug test, ordered by the court. this morning, she showed up for what she sought would be a hearing to schedule bail. instead, the judge denied bail and sent her straight to the lynnwood correctional facility to stay until her next hearing on october 22nd, which would give her almost no time to find a halloween costume. surprise to everyone, including her lawyers. i guess it's unusual for that to happen in this kind of case. but the judge was tough. and i tell you what, i don't like this new trend of putting white people in jail for minor drug offenses, it's -- [ laughter ]
it perpetuates a single standard, you know? there were -- there were no cameras in the courtroom, but plenty outside. it was a major, major news event. this is -- the girl from the remark of "herbie the love bug," so -- lindsay's horrible parents were on hand today. her mother, dina, who she wanted, and father michael, who she didn't. also on hand today was celebrity superfan jake byrd. there's jake. jake is on hand for all the big celebrity court peernssappearan. he was around to support lindsay today and to help liven up michael lohan's impromptu press conference. >> let him finish, because i'm finished. i have to address sean and the people that have to get at of her life. >> listen. >> listen, listen for one second.
>> whoa, whoa, whoa. she's not mel gibson! >> you cannot stop -- you cannot stop a father from loving his children. >> jimmy: no, you can't. that was jake right there, affirming the fact that lindsay is not mel gibson. you know, whatever famous person shows up on the wrong side of the law, jake byrd is there to support them. he was there for paris, michael jackson, there for guillermo when he finally gets picked up. but today he was there for lindsay lohan. here's jake byrd at the lohan hearing. >> i couldn't begin to tell you how many reporters we have here. all behind police tape. there really trying to keep the madness here to a minimum. >> this is so intense. oh, my god. why can't she just huff gas like a normal person? >> they've got officers and deputies in the street trying to control traffic. >> i bet this is her! >> i bet this is her, is that
what he said? >> lindsay didn't look worried, calm as she walked through the cameras. >> you look great! follow me on twitter! >> do you think she deserves to go back to jail or do you think she could go to rehab? >> i don't think, either. she slipped up one time, which is hardly any times. one more time than zero times and if that's a crime, then so is murder. they're only picking on her because she's a ginger and she does cocaine. can you take a picture of me for a twitpic? that's a good twitpic. yeah. >> she should have never, ever, ever had a face jail time or incarceration in the ucla medical facility. >> why are you so angry? >> he's got a right to be angry.
>> i thought i'd be -- i'd rather be in jail rather than my daughter today. i thought i'd be eating a sandwich -- just hope the judge remands lindsay to rehab for a longer period of time. i'm finished. i have to address sean and the people that have to get out of her life. >> listen, listen, listen, listen. >> listen. >> listen for one second. >> whoa, whoa, whoa! she's not mel gibson! she's not mel gibson. >> you cannot stop -- >> don't touch my body! >> family -- >> you're touching my body! >> family is very important. >> sorry. freak out. >> let her live! let her live! lock me up with lindsay! lock me up with lindsay! >> dina's coming out. let's go talk to her. >> dina, stay strong. hugs, not drugs. look on the bright side. tonight's sloppy joe night.
>> stay strong, dina. michael says hi! there goes our ginger princess. i'll wait for you, lindsay! she's going back to linwood. [ applause ] >> jimmy: jake byrd, everybody. and, let me just say this -- guess what? about an hour ago, a judge reversed the decision and lindsay lohan was released from the linwood -- >> yeah! >> jimmy: thanks to you, jake byrd! >> yes! do you believe in miracles? yes! we did it! we did it! we did it! we did it! we did it! we did it! do you believe in miracles? yes! yes! >> jimmy: hard work pays off. that's the lesson. [ laughter ] hey, we have more craziness ahead for you. joaquin phoenix is here, you
know -- [ cheers and applause ] he spent the last 18 months of his life pretending to be out of his mind. we have music from primus tonight. and also, a gentleman who has been here before, his name is science bob pflugfelder of the boston pflugfelders. he's -- science bob is an elementary schoolteacher. he teaches science. he makes science fun. when i was in school, we had a teacher who made science not fun for us. she made it dreary and sad what was her name? >> cleto: mrs. dixon. >> she was like three feet tall. >> cleto: she called me the wrong name. >> jimmy: for those of you that weren't listening, that was the bell. but science bob is fun. here's some highlights from the last time he was on the show. >> three, two, one, pour. there we go. >> jimmy: whoa! >> pressure is building up now. bubbles are being created -- >> jimmy: i feel like jesus. whoa!
whoa! >> powering it up. >> jimmy: oh, feels weird on my body. oh. >> go ahead. >> let me lob -- >> jimmy: oh! most of the audience was killed that night, so -- [ applause ] that's a warning to you. but tonight, science bob is going to make a cloud in our studio, a real huge cloud. and we're all going to lay on it and play harps. i should also mention that the l.a. feast of san gennaro is going on. this is something i started with my buddy doug in 2001. our ninth annual feast. all the proceed goes to charity. every decent italian american in l.a. comes out for it. faces are kisses, cheeked are pinched. there's a nugget ring on every pinky. it's a great event. to celebrate the feast tonight, the people of the feast, we give you our bragging italian guy of the night. >> our buddy was a [ bleep ]
bull pen catcher for the mets, right? [ applause ] >> jimmy: name dropper. i'm sure they were very close. some big goings on on tv today. the head of cnn, got fired. cnn's ratings have gone down because they keep reporting news. and he's being replaced by the guy who ran headline news. headline news has been beating cnn in the ratings. on headline news, they roll through the stories of the day, which makes for some fantastic inappropriate segues. i love watching it. today, they dhad a doozy. this is our headline news segue of the day. >> the obama administration says it is committed to ending don't ask, don't tell, but says it wants it to be a more gradual process. dog poop!
>> jimmy: i -- i cannot wait to hear wolf blitzer do that. there's some controversy yesterday on "sesame street." elmo made this video with katy perry. they're not going to air it, because parents complained that katy perry is showing too much cleavage. and maybe she is. i used to -- i turned the number eight on its side and draw dots on it. this morning, elmo and the executive producer of "sesame street" within on the cbs early show talking about it. watch elmo's hand here. >> did it occur to you that she was wearing something inappropriate? >> you know, if -- >> jimmy: okay. what is he doing behind that little partition? what is katy perry doing to elmo? it's just -- cherry chap stick there. and -- oh, there you go.
well, you know what? looks like elmo's learned to tickle himself, at long last. [ applause ] at this show, we frown on that kind of filth. with that said, it's time for our weekly tribble unit to the fcc, where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it's "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> young girls around the world are just crying their eyes out because justin bieber, the singer, apparently [ bleep ] a girl! >> after authorities [ bleep ] her for hours. >> 6:47 now. if you have ever tried [ bleep ] your dog, you know it can be frustrating. >> i got natural talent. >> look out, mr. situation, we're going to have a 12-pack here. >> twitter users, you got a nasty surprise today. you got [ bleep ]. and tonight, we may not who is responsible. >> coming back on the weekends. >> make up your mind, [ bleep ]. >> so far in there, i think it's
[ bleep ] my brain. >> that's good. >> oregon senator has proposed a tax credit for [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. >> you know when you're in line behind somebody who is ordering what i just said and all you want is just a black [ bleep ]. it a pain. >> baby jaguar says his boo-boo feels all better. hey, dora. you made baby jaguar feel better. >> jimmy: hey, we have a good show tonight. science bob pflugfelder is here. we have music from primus. and we'll be right back with joaquin phoenix, so stick around. just got a text from you that you're breaking up with me? don't worry about that. i switched to sprint's $69.99 plan, so i wasn't charged extra.
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teacher from boston. the kind of teacher that we all wish we'd had, one who blows things up, "science bob" pflugfelder is here with crazy experiments to delight us all. tonight, we're going to make a cloud. in the studio. and then eat it. then later, their oddity faire tour begins tomorrow night in vancouver, they're back in the states starting october 1st in minneapolis. primus, from the bud light outdoor stage. next week on the show, joel mchale will be here, sigourney weaver, tom bergeron, dane cook, busy phillips, vanessa williams, "dancing with the stars" victim number two. we'll have music from randy houser, sharon jones & the dap-kings, the avett brothers, and maroon 5. so join us then. our first guest tonight is an oscar-nominated actor who quit acting a year and a half ago, but it turned out that when he said he quit acting, he was acting. the result of that elaborate hoax is a new movie called "i'm
still here." it is in select theaters now, and available everywhere there's an internet connection on itunes and ondemand. please say hello to joaquin phoenix. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look so normal now. i don't know what to make. >> you look well, too. >> jimmy: thank you. i appreciate that. good to see you. >> you, too. >> jimmy: for those who don't know, you were -- you had -- it seemed like you lost your mind about 18 months ago. but it turned out that was not the case at all. you were pulling a prank of everyone. >> we were trying to make a film. a prank sounds like we were doing it for our own kicks and it really wasn't about that. we wanted to do a film and we wanted it to be as authentic as possible. and so we were maybe a little
deceitful. >> jimmy: that's all right, though. >> i think that you do that all the time in movies, you know, in some ways, so -- >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> i think it was ghost face killer that said, "life's a stage." i think we all kind of play a part -- >> jimmy: he did say that, didn't he? >> i think so. >> jimmy: and so, but -- people in holly wood, like, not too many people knew what you were up to. >> no, i don't think so. my agents knew and my publicist and my family and close friends but -- >> jimmy: i really enjoyed watching the movie. it's really terrific. i love that kind of thing. it doesn't happen often enough for my liking. i was trying to figure out who is in on it, who is not in on it. some people really seemed like they weren't in on it. was everyone in on it? >> well, not everyone. we did, you know, i did shows --
so absurd. i did shows, and, you know, the audience wouldn't know and people at the venues that didn't know. diddy knew. stiller knew. >> jimmy: you did rap shows -- you quit to become a rapper. essentially, you made the corey feldman story, and, but -- you did it kind of on the fly with people that didn't necessarily know what was going on in the audience. let's show a clip. this is diddy. you are trying to convince him to produce your album. >> it just sounds so ridiculous. >> jimmy: it is ridiculous. >> what's up man? obviously, great success in film and music. and, what i want is to be something -- >> you have money to do this? >> like how much? i have a little studio, did you know? like, my garage -- >> see, that's a problem. people don't do it -- they do it
for they own industry. when you make a movie, you got money to make a movie, right? >> what i want it to be is a place -- >> can you do that in acting? >> well, i do, that's the thing. as an actor, you're shielded. i mean, you know this. >> lights, [ bleep ]. lights. >> jimmy: he's right on that. you got to have lights. >> i -- i'm applauding diddy. i think he's a genius. >> jimmy: one of the greatest, i guess, i don't know. he makes this speech to you, appears to be con selling you. unbelievable. i taped it and listened to it over and over again. it's unbelievable. was that -- >> casey affleck wrote that speech. >> jimmy: that's something else. that's where you started thinking, i know you said it's a hoax, but i go in and out of trying to figure out who is in on it --
>> yeah, edward knew, also. but you had a really great idea about doing a remix or something -- >> jimmy: well, yeah. it would be great if somebody took that little speech and made it into a song, like they did with that -- >> the double rainbow -- >> jimmy: they did it there. i'll get to work on that, if you don't mind me violating your copyrights. >> violate away. >> jimmy: was david letterman the only one not in on it -- >> he was not in on it. >> jimmy: why him, of all people, to not tell? >> i don't -- i don't know why we didn't tell him, honestly. just -- >> jimmy: it seems like if you donald d told diddy, you could tell dave. >> it was a different situation. i don't know how to answer that question at all right now. >> jimmy: again, i enjoyed the movies i know there's a lawsuit pending between you and letterman. i was a little bit disappointed in one thing. we did something for the movie,
i knew what was going on -- >> dude, come on, man. >> jimmy: you told me it was going to be in the movie, but it didn't make it in the movie. >> i was pulling for you, man, i was. because i think you're a -- >> jimmy: i thought it came out good. >> it -- it wasn't. i mean -- no, no, no. we -- he's a great actor, it just -- it didn't -- it didn't feel real. but we're considering putting it on the dvd as an outtake. i brought it, if you want to see -- >> jimmy: yeah, i would like to see it. >> can we roll it? >> jimmy: this is -- should we set it up at all? the scene, i guess, we were trying to do -- >> i wanted to -- i wanted to work with the band and i thought that would be a good idea. >> jimmy: and you were trying -- >> i thought i would come out, kind of do a thing and be a regular on the show, because letterman shut me down, said i can't come on that show. i said maybe this would happen, and -- >> jimmy: i thought my acting was really good, but well, let's
take a look. it's going -- >> you all be the judge. >> jimmy: okay. >> what's up? >> hey, how are you doing? >> what's going on? you guys psyched? >> yeah. >> let's cook something. ♪ i feel like i'm living in hell ♪ ♪ on jkl >> hey, joaquin. what's going on in here? what's going on in here? >> i'm going to be in the house band. >> you can't have a rapper in the house band. >> jimmy, i think -- you just have to make it a little bit more natural. just relax. you come in, you see him, you don't know why he's here -- >> jimmy: more natural. >> if you actually came in, what would you say? don't just go -- >> just bring it down a little bit. >> all right.
♪ >> joaquin, we can't have a rapper in the house band. >> really want it to feel real, so -- if you're doing something that doesn't feel real, it's not going to work. >> just rushing the scene and stealing my line doesn't make it more real. >> let's just try it again. try to bring it down. >> jimmy: should i go back out? >> take a few steps back. ♪ i'm in hell tonight on jkl >> i'm knocking and no one's hearing me. >> forget the knock part. the camera's not on you. >> i won't knock. >> let me get into -- >> i don't want people to think i'm rude. >> it's not rude to cut off another actor's line. that's not rude. >> okay, you're right. >> action. >> oh, hey, it's joaquin phoenix. why are you here? >> cut. >> what's up. >> and cut. >> action. >> hey, what's up man, how are you doing? >> that sounds weird.
>> trying to be friendly. >> action. >> what the hell -- >> let's not make a mockery of this, man. >> i don't think this is working. >> let's do one more and then -- >> come in more? >> one second. >> action. >> how are you? >> all right. right. i think woe got the scene. >> i feel pretty good about it. >> that was different. >> did you like it? >> i did. >> i did, too. i actually did. >> very tender. >> so this will be in the movie then? >> definitely. >> awesome. thanks, guys. thanks for including me. >> no, i -- thank you.
>> thank you, too. >> tell your brother i said hi. >> i will. >> i'm not going to do that. >> jimmy: you did say i was going to be in the movie. >> we did. definitely -- >> jimmy: you said that word, yeah. it's all right, as long as it's on the dvd, it will be fine. this is definitely, definitely, and i say that sincerely, a movie you should check out. it's called "i'm still here," in theaters now and available everywhere ondemand and itunes. we'll be right back with science bob pflugfelder. ♪ [ courier ] i'm a legal courier. if i have to look at multiple cases, with blackberry torch i can have multiple tabs going, scroll over to it -- there it is.
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at safeway, that's our promise. that's ingredients for life. right here in this neighborhood, i grew up learning strong families and hard work means opportunity. and that starts with good schools. it's a tradition here in maryland-- and why in these tough times i've put education first. we've made record investments in our classrooms... doubled the number of charter schools... and we've frozen college tuition for four years in a row. and it's working. experts say we now have the number one schools in the nation. when it comes to expanding opportunity in every neighborhood, i know that we must do even better. >> jimmy: >> jimmy: going to love primus out there. our next guest is about as much fun as you could ever ask for in a science teacher, and tonight, his love for chemistry and physics might possibly kill us all.
from boston, please say hello once again to science bob pflugfelder. hello, bob. how you are? >> doing great. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. what grade do you teach? >> elementary science. >> jimmy: okay, so -- >> a little unique. >> jimmy: they love this stuff, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i can only mamg. where do you get that lab jacket? >> you have to make it yourself. this one you got to make yourself. >> jimmy: it says i'm smart and stylish. >> i like that. thank you. >> jimmy: so, our first experiment -- >> demonstration. >> jimmy: is going to be doing what? >> we got a little food chemistry. >> jimmy: okay, great. >> a lot of people know about calories, they count calories, but they don't know what a calorie is -- >> jimmy: it's something related to heat. >> it is. [ applause ] awesome, excellent. i gets technical, like how much heat, you heat up a certain amount of water, things like that.
>> jimmy: the heat, like a hot air balloon times you up and makes you fat. >> similar to that. >> jimmy: and you could fly away. >> absolutely. so, we can -- i'm always looking for ways to visualize this. we should probably put on goggles. there's a flame here. >> jimmy: all right. i like anything that i have to wear goggles for. >> i've got some chemical called potassium chlorate. it can release oxygen. and it can give us an idea of what foods have a lot of calories and what don't. >> jimmy: this is how they find out how many calories are in food -- >> probably not in a lab or anything. but it's kind of fun for teaching. >> jimmy: let's start with something healthy. >> we have to make this molten. so, yeah, we got some -- >> jimmy: healthy things. this is celery and -- >> so -- there we go, we got that almost there. >> jimmy: got to get it liquid. >> what will happen is, this will release the oxygen and give us a reaction and give us how much energy is in that food. drop it in there.
>> jimmy: this is a healthy celery snap. the popping, the fizzing. not much going on there at all. >> it's a low calorie food. then we go to a high calorie food. >> jimmy: like? >> we got ancandy here. put it in the hot tub. >> jimmy: why would you do this to gummy bears and not those bratty sour patch kids? >> you could. >> jimmy: wow! >> there's oxygen being created and then -- i think -- >> jimmy: it smells terrible. it doesn't smell gummy at all. it smells really, really bad. this is a good lesson for kids. don't put gummy bears in -- wow. that's a lot of calories. >> that's a lot, yeah. >> jimmy: could you do this with a real bear if you don't have gummy bears at home? >> i've never tried. >> jimmy: let's do some other stuff here. after this was pretty good. that was a good start. >> so i found -- i'm a big fan
of slime. >> jimmy: who isn't? >> you can use it to teach about matter, it's -- >> jimmy: nickelodeon stuff. >> i found a way to combine slime and combustiocombustion. >> jimmy: finally. >> come over to the shooting range here. >> jimmy: okay. [ applause ] look at this. what do we have here? >> all right. so, what i -- >> jimmy: oh, my god. that's a bong. this is what you're showing the kids? >> it's -- maybe you are heard of a potato cannon. so, i've taken the idea of a potato cannon, i found potatoes kind of boring, so i created a mortar of slime. we're going to fill this up with a combustible aerosol. >> jimmy: and we're going to
kill everyone. >> point it up there. we're going to spray some of that in there. >> jimmy: get a little on my head, if you don't mind. >> i'm going to cap that. go ahead and spray another one here. and we've got some very nervous looking -- >> jimmy: tighten this? >> yeah, sure. >> jimmy: all right. >> so there's our targets. >> jimmy: oh, nice. it's like a war on adorable animals. >> all right. ready? >> jimmy: i'm ready. >> aim. fire! >> jimmy: oh, wow! let's look at that? slow motion, if we could. do we have a replay? oh, my goodness. we decimated those pigs. >> kind of got obliterated. >> jimmy: that was great. and you can get these at my walmart, right? wow, that was great. all right. >> all right.
>> jimmy: let's do the next thing. >> you talked a little bit about a cloud. >> jimmy: yeah, clouds. >> and cloud a basically, it's water vapor. >> jimmy: okay. >> so, we've got some kind of extreme chemicals here. >> jimmy: good. >> we have liquid nitrogen, 321 degrees below zero. >> jimmy: that's cold. >> almost boiling water. >> jimmy: okay. >> a difference here of 500 degrees. we're going to mix them together. >> jimmy: we're going to get in that. >> i'm not getting in that. let's get you geared up here. >> jimmy: safety glasses over the safety glasses? seems like overkill, but i'll go for it. all right. [ applause ] my eyes have never felt so safe like they do right now. >> so what we're going to try to do is, we're going to put the liquid nitrogen in here, and then we're going to add the hot water. it will vaporize the water and condense it and we'll get to see
a little cloud. >> jimmy: let's do it. here we go. you need your gloves. >> more than a quarter second on your skin and it -- >> jimmy: i always thought only god could make a cloud, but science bob, too. >> careful there. >> jimmy: is this dangerous? >> more than a quarter second on your skin, and it's frozen. let's keep going. >> jimmy: i don't nope how you got that on the plane. >> okay. i'll get that. >> jimmy: i'm going to dive into that? i could easily fall into this, right? >> i didn't think of that, but yes. all right. hold this, it's hot. careful. >> jimmy: don't worry, i'm going to be careful. >> here's the secret. i give you the countdown. when you dump it, one quick thing. just flip it over and dump inside there. >> jimmy: all right.
all right. >> excellent. good luck. i'll be back here. >> jimmy: tell me when. we're going to make a cloud. i never made a cloud before. whoa! >> wow. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. wow. wow. all right. i wish -- i wish i could have seen that. wow. [ applause ] i tell you something -- i feel like -- i feel like michael land nonin "highway to heaven." thank you for that. for more information, go to jim jimmy kimmel live.com or science bob's website. thanks very much. science bob pflugfelder, everybody. we'll be right back with primus. moments ago, we gave this group of people
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