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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 31, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am EST

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>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- jamie dornan, from "big little lies" adam scott, and music from tucker beathard. and now, from here on out, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks for coming. welcome to the show. so much, so much to get to. starting with tonight's dramatic primetime episode of "the celebrity president." i've been making a lot of jokes about this presidency becoming a reality show. i did not know the reality show woul
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tonight it did. so listen to this president trump has nominated someone to serve on the supreme court. he was supposed to announce his pick on thursday but then yesterday he tweeted that he'd made his decision and would announce it live tonight. he decided to preempt our regularly scheduled programs to make the announcement in primetime which is historic. usually he'll just announce this stuff in the moneying and the afternoon. this is the first time a supreme court nomination has ever interrupted an episode of "ncis." [ laughter ] this is big. not only did the white house do everything they could to keep the nomination secret to build suspense, they brought his final -- trump's final two choices, judge neil gor such from denver, and judge hardiman from pittsburgh, they brought them in to see which one -- that's right, ryan seacrested his choice for the supreme court. like a two on one date on "the bachelor." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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president trump chose america's next top supreme court justice. >> i mean, he's totally messed up, fellas, but you have to admit he's just a different kind of a guy. meatloaf, this is really bothering you, isn't it. >> yes. yes, sir. >> you know what meatloaf, i'm going to make you very happy. >> okay. >> gary, you're fired. rajon, you're fired. meatloaf, you're fired. judge neil gorsuch. you're very talented, you're very unique, you're an amazing guy, you're hired. >> jimmy: congratulations to neil gorsuch, you're going to hollywood. this is how it really happened. from the white house live tonight. >> and i would like to ask judge gorsuch and his wonderful wife louise to please step forward. please, louise, judge.
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here they come. so was that a surprise? was it? >> jimmy: well, yeah. you know who it was a surprise for? the guy who drove all the way out from pittsburgh to not get picked as supreme court judge. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: the only thing miss was him slowly walking away. why the hell did he bring him out? all right. so tonight trump hired new supreme court justice. last night he fired the acting attorney general, sally yates. she was appointed by president obama, was supposed to stay in place until a new attorney general was confirmed. but yesterday she announced that under her, the department of justice would not defend trump's order preventing refugees and visitors from seven pred
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from entering the united states. she said she wasn't convinced it was lawful. of course trump didn't like that so he gave her the hook and brought in this guy. his name is dana -- he looks like the kind of guy who wears t-shirts and t and socks to bedo underwear. he looks like he had his first sexual experience at age 34. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he's acting attorney general and will defend the ban on immigrants. this was crazy today. of all the many characters tapped for feel trump the one i believe will be leaving first, mark my words, for whatever reason they give, he will be seeking other opportunities by the end of the year, is press secretary sean spicer. he is the guy who every day has to get up in front of his colleagues, a room full of reporters who he used to be friends with, to attempt to explain what the hell is going on. he's been very flustered so far. including today when he took issue with the use of the word "ban." >> i want to go back to the issue of this travel ban.
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a travel ban. >> this was president trump's tweet yesterday. "if the ban were announced with a one-week notice, the bad would rush into our country during that week." he says it's a ban. >> he's using the words the media is using. at the end of the day -- hold on -- it can't be -- >> this is yours -- >> jonathan, thanks, i'll let kristen talk. it can't be a ban if you're letting 1 million people in. 325,000 people from another country can't come in, that is by nature not a ban. >> jimmy: really? if i get banned from a casino or the super bowl for running naked on the field? even if you let other people in, i'm still banned, right? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] don't take my word for it. i don't know anything. this is from an event last night at george washington university. you know who else thinks it's a ban? sean spicer letter. >> the ban deals with seven countries the obama administration previously identified needs further travel restrictions. >> jimmy: did i saban?
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love that stuff. if i didn't have that every morning, i think i'd end it all. here's another interesting little plot twist. president trump as you know believes he would have won the popular vote had there not been what he says are 3 million to 5 million illegal votes cast. the expert whose work trump cites as evidence of this is a guy named greg phillips, who greg phillips, according to the associated press, is registered to vote in three states. [ laughter ] he's registered to vote in alabama, mississippi, and texas. you know the saying, in order to stop voter fraud, you have to be willing to commit voter fraud. [ laughter ] maybe he's going undercover. [ cheers and applause ] in china, this is so interesting. there's an international team of researchers in china, they've discovered what they believe to be the oldest human ancestor, a 540 million-year-old creature they call sacaritis. isn't he cute? as you can see h
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the researchers were unable to find any evidence of an anus. they think it ate food and excreted from the same orifice. like ther rest of us do on supe bowl sunday. [ laughter ] guillermo what do you think? that's our grandpa together. >> guillermo: crazy [ bleep ]. crazy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: like they eat -- >> >> jimmy: no, i understand that part of it, yeah. guillermo was in houston yesterday for super bowl media day. this is when the reporters try to speak to the players. did you have fun? >> guillermo: a lot of fun. >> jimmy: are you tired? >> guillermo: very tired. >> jimmy: did you go out afterwards? >> guillermo: yeah, a little bit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where'd you go? >> guillermo: we finished late. the closest bar was right there. >> jimmy: you went to a bar what did you drink at the bar? >> guillermo: beer, beer. >> jimmy: oh, beer. that's the international sign for beer. >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: guillermo g
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attention. tomorrow night we'll have his full report. as a preview guillermo was featured on "sports center" when he asked a number of players what tom brady smells like. >> how does tom brady smell? >> tom brady smells good. >> like money. >> like you would imagine. >> what do you think tom brady smells like? >> flowers. expensive ones. >> guillermo: can i come smell you? >> no. >> jimmy: wait a minute. how can we decide if he's the greatest quarterback of all-time if he's not going to let anybody smell him? [ cheers and applause ] joe montana would have let you smell him, i'll tell you that. >> guillermo: well, too late. >> jimmy: we have guillermo's official super bowl media day tomorrow night. we have to take a break. there's a couple on hollywood boulevard right now, they cannot hear us. they don't know what's going on. when we come back in honor of jamie dornan and "fifty shades darker," we'll ask them how often they make love and we'll see how well their answers match up with each other's. it will be
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stick around, we'll be right back. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i love the smell of napalm in the morning. no, this is double espresso. hodor! hodor! ehhh, hodor. you guys watch game of thrones, right? inconceivable! surely, you can't be serious. i am serious. and don't call me shirley? that's the unlimited effect. stream your entertainment and more with unlimited data when you switch to at&t wireless and have directv. plus, get the amazing new iphone 7 on us. any of your favorite footlongs now for just six dollars. an endless cavalcade of premium subs. any footlong on the menu for just six dollars. so, bring your appetite america, the subway footlong fest is upon us. th...oh, baked-on alfredo?e.
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i think we could finally get youra bigger place. yeah, let me check my score too. try credit karma. it's free. credit karma. give yourself some credit. >> jimmy: still to come, jamie dornan, adam scott, music from tucker beathard. the "fifty shades darker" movie is coming out -- [ cheers and applause ] oh-oh. jamie dornan hears this he's going to run for the hills. [ laughter ] we thought we might head out to hollywood boulevard to find a pair of lovebirds, happy couples we hope, to ask them a simple question, how many times a month do you have sex? we've done this before.
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answers. the man and the woman. they tend to have different ways of doing the math. but let's get on to cousin sal who's outside. >> sal: hey, cousin jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sal and i came up with this idea because our friend whose name i will not mention -- >> sal: dan sanborn. >> jimmy: that's right, dan sanborn, he told us he and his wife sheena, they live in little silver, new jersey, do what they call "it" four times a week, even though they've been married 16 years. they have 37 kids. [ laughter ] and i was shocked by this. so let's do this. bring in that couple -- >> sal: let me say, i'm calling fake news on the sanborn thing. >> jimmy: why? >> sal: he's not that [ bleep ]able. [ laughter ] i'm sorry, i shouldn't have said that. >> jimmy: can you guys hear me?
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sound-canceling headphones? son of a -- okay, all right. do you have any idea what i'm about to ask you? did you hear anything? >> no. >> jimmy: okay, very good. >> no. >> jimmy: what your names? >> anthony, we're from studio city, california. >> jimmy: okay, anthony. what's your name? >> leilani. >> jimmy: who's that punk kid in the background jumping around? okay, anthony and leilani, how long have you been together? >> over three years. >> over three years. >> jimmy: are you married, engaged, dating, what's the story? >> we're dating. >> dating. >> three years, you're dating. so that is a little bit different. [ laughter ] it's a simple game. there are no wrong answers. only honest answers. i'm going to ask you both a question. what i'd like you to do is write your answers down. don't share your answers. don't consult each other, don't say it aloud, just write it down. when i tell you, you will reveal your answers. okay? the question, there's only one question. it is, how many times a month do
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anthony and leilani have written down their answers. leilani, we're going to start with you. how many times a month do you and anthony -- i should have specified. it's you and anthony. [ laughter ] have sex? hi, kids. [ laughter ] 10 times a month, all right. >> sal: 10 times, kids, what do you think? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: anthony says? 12! all right. that's pretty close. i think that's quite close. which do you think, who's closer to the truth there now that you see each other's answers? >> i'm definitely closer. >> jimmy: okay, all right. congratulations on that. that's a lot. before you go, does sin sal has gifts for you. >> sal: i have a whip and
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>> jimmy: that's how it works. let's bring our next couple in. >> sal: come on in. >> jimmy: let's bring our next couple in. hello there. again, we've got some parentless children looking on from the back. hi, what's your name? >> belinda. >> jimmy: belinda or melinda? >> belinda with a "b." >> jimmy: what is your name, sir? >> william marlin. >> jimmy: belinda and william, are you married? >> 36 years. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, this is good. wow, 36 years. what, did you get married when you were 8? >> 19. >> jimmy: 19? >> yes. >> jimmy: wow, you look very young. i'm going to ask you about the question. and your job is just answer that question honestly. do not reveal your answer until i tell you to, okay? yeah, write on the other side, anthony. i mean, william. okay. all right. so the question is, how many
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do you have sex? [ laughter ] yeah, write it right on the -- yeah, on the thing. okay. belinda going to work. there's a concerned onlooker. all right. william? are you in the marines or just a fan? >> now. >> jimmy: what's that? >> i'm still in. >> jimmy: very good, okay. >> once a marine always a marine. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, william the marine, what is the number? the number is -- two. i think william spelled it out just for spite. >> better get this one right.
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say? william says two, you say -- >> sal: this is going to be trouble. >> ten! [ cheers and applause ] wait a minute. well, either you've got someone on the side or one of you is t not -- you know i meant not alone, right? wow, belinda. what happened? >> i -- today is my birthday, i'm old. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. well, belinda's using the sen nilty defense here. all right, happy birthday, belinda. >> sal: the world's best lover cup, mug. and fresh oysters for you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good, thank you guys. one more. let's have one more in there. [ cheers and applause ] let's see, our next couple is -- hello, what are your names? >> i'm rita. >> i'm phil. >> jimmy: where are you from?
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>> jimmy: very good. welcome to the united states. we're happy to have you here. how long have you been married? are you married? >> we are married. >> jimmy: you are married. >> it will be 38 years this fall. >> jimmy: 38 years. [ cheers and applause ] william and belinda were married for 36 years. the question we're going to ask is the same question we asked them. how many times a month, write it down, do not say it aloud, do you make love? and by make love -- you know what i mean. i'm going to ask you to write this in u.s. figures, not canadian. this could open up a long -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] phil, can we get you
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rita, did you finish your answer? we just saw phil's. phil, that's not how game shows work here in america. all right, so phil showed his number. phil, let me guess -- i bet let's 10! yeah, that is right, it's 10. rita, you say? >> which way? >> jimmy: whoa! >> sal: there's a decimal there. there's a decimal. >> jimmy: i think we need to pair phil up with belinda and rita up with william. [ laughter ] sal, are they still around? maybe that could be the gift. [ laughter ] >> sal: no, she smacked him in the face and he took off down the street. >> jimmy: i believe we have a special gift presentation for you tonight here. do we have a special gift presentation? oh, look at that, oh! [ cheers and applause ] jamie dornan. jamie what do you have there? [ cheers and applause ] jamie, don't shake his hand, he's
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times a month. what do you have for him there, jamie? >> i've got a $50 hooters card. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> and some original dairy whipped cream. >> jimmy: oh, wow, look at that. [ cheers and applause ] what a lovely gift. thank you, jamie. thank you, phil, rita. i'd like you to walk around with those signs just held up like that the rest of the night. thanks to everyone. jamie, come in here before you're attacked. [ cheers and applause ] we have a good show for you tonight. music from tucker beathard. adam scott is here. be right back with jamie dornan! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ if you're gonna make an entrance...
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oh, how waso good!en house? look. 800 square feet, 1 bedroom, hardwood floors, 15 minute ride to work. dude! dude! i know! your credit score must be amazing. my credit score? how do i check? credit karma. it's free. that's great! that's super easy. um hm. that's a credit score. just whip bam boom, it's done. check out credit karma today. credit karma. give yourself some credit. eyes over there, dude. this apartment's hers. mine... thank you.
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight from the new hbo show "big little lies," adam scott is here. then later from nashville, tennessee. this is his ep, it's called "fight like hell," music from tucker beathard. tomorrow night rob lowe, dave salmoni and his wild animal friends, and music from tom chaplain so zone us for that. our first guest plays the billionaire blindfold and bondage enthusiast christian grey in the sequel that answers every question you had after the first one.
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"fifty shades darker" opens a week from friday please welcome jamie dornan. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? everything good? >> everything's good, man, how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're cropped. the audience, let me tell you -- [ cheers and applause ] there's like a 40% chance you're not getting out of here alive. >> i can feel it. it feels a little higher than that, i'll be honest. >> jimmy: it might be tipping into the 50%, 52%, yeah. how are you? >> good, everything's good. >> jimmy: did you shave your head for a role? >> yeah, for work, yeah. when i'm -- early 20s i used to shave the head quite a lot so i know that i don't have one of those weird shakes --
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>> jimmy: knobby heads? i feel like i have a weird bumps on my head. >> i feel you should never do this. >> jimmy: it would never grow back if i ever did that. i want to ask you about a photograph. this is interesting to me. it's a photograph of you with josh gad and don rickles. what was going on here? what was happening? >> i look very red and drunk. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that makes three of you, i think. >> what's happening there, i was having dinner with don rick ankles and the his wife barbara. >> jimmy: nice. >> as you do. josh gad happened to come into the restaurant. >> jimmy: josh was not invited to dinner? >> no, no, we wouldn't invite josh. [ laughter ] i don't even know josh. i met him once briefly and he said very lovely things about "the fall" so i knew he was a fan, i'm a fan of his. he happened to be walking past. we were having dinner together so he took a picture. >> jimmy: how did you wind up having dinner with don rick ankles and the his wife bar
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invited me. >> jimmy: they invited you. >> i'm just doing a show -- anyway, talked about don, he got in touch afterwards, and we became e-mail buddies, spoke on the phone. >> jimmy: what? wait a minute. i know don. for many years. >> barbara does e-mails. >> he's not e-mailing you. whoever's e-mailing you is not don. [ laughter ] he is not your e-mail buddy. >> it was a hell of a surprise when he actually turned up to dinner because i didn't know who i had been e-mailing with. >> jimmy: right. he's the most fun. he's the best. did he tell you all his stories? las vegas stories and all that stuff? >> all that crazy stuff. >> jimmy: how did it come to be that a kid from northern ireland even knows don rickles, became a fan of don rick ankle in the first place? >> i know, it's a good point. i'm a big fan of sinatra and dean martin and joey bishop. >> jimmy: that era of entertainers, yeah. >> i guess i spent a lot of time online goog googling stuff of theirs.
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interviews, all those comedy roasts, the original comedy roasts. don was the one who stuck out for me in all of those. >> jimmy: he's the funniest. he's still the funniest. >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: do you fantasize about having a life in which you have a group of guys that you wear tuxedos with, ties undone, go to las vegas, maybe entertain a little bit at 6:00 in the morning? >> that is my life. >> jimmy: that is your life. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: well, that worked. >> me out of a tux, that's how i roll. >> jimmy: do you still live in belfast? >> i don't live in belfast, no, i live outside of london. >> jimmy: have you ever lived here in los angeles? >> i've spent a lot of time here. i used to come over here for little stints and try to get work. the first time i came over here, i thought i'd try to immerse myself into the l.a. way of life, join a gym because everyone's really into that here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> so i joined this gym. equinox.
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on sunset. and i went in. and the first -- i signed up and i went in to train. and the first person i see when i go up is your man fabio. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's my man. >> your man. >> jimmy: he's our man. he's not really -- >> he's everyone's. >> jimmy: he's america's man. >> he's america's man. >> jimmy: he might be italy's man but he's somebody's man. >> i think italy. he was there with all his hair and all that. [ laughter ] and he's wearing like a very loose-fitting tank top. and he was doing like pullups. he had a crowd around him. >> jimmy: really? when was this? how long ago? >> this was 12 years ago or something. >> jimmy: still not during the height of fabio fever. [ laughter ] how many pullups was he doing? >> he was doing enough to form a crowd. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. i didn't join the crowd. >> jimmy: you didn't. >> i sort of noticed. well, maybe l.a.'s not for me.
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>> jimmy: you got scared off by fabio and his pull-ups, that's a shame. we would have loved to have had you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you've not run into fabio since then? >> funnily enough, i haven't. >> jimmy: i have a surprise for you. please bring him out! no, tube i don't rkfabio's not . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] is. >> jimmy: maybe he could be part of your rat pack. >> he'd look great in a tux. >> jimmy: i'd love to see him in clothes, i've never seen that before. we're going to tak a break. when we come back we have a clip from the movie, "fifty shades darker." it opens next week. jamie dornan is here. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ b-i-g m-a-c get it! ♪ b-i-g m-a-c ♪ oh you got a fresh fade? ♪ closed a big deal today. chorus: there's a big mac for that! ♪ got that old school flow? ♪ you just came into some dough! ♪ chorus: big mac for that! ♪ uh, beat the boss. ♪ ha! need that special sauce? chorus: there's a big mac for that! ♪ oh! found your keys. ♪ hit some 3's, love melted cheese? ♪
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this is our town. if you can't get here, just look for one of our postcards. we send them all over. they look like this. we send them all over. i juwhat are you looking at? crazy stuff, man. you've gotta see this. what--what is this? it's like some 3d virtual world. can i see? oh yai yai yai yai yai yai. look at the moon. whoot.
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>> i don't know whether to worship at your feet or spank you. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, wow, i tell you. you can make a game show out of that sentence. "worship at your feet or spank you." that could be big for you. >> you should present that. >> jimmy: i would love to be the host of that show. would you make a cameo on that? >> definitely, yeah. >> jimmy: boy this premiere, when's the premiere? a lot of people in our audience are going to this premiere. >> i'm meant to know the answer to that. >> jimmy: yes. >> it's on thursday. >> jimmy: it's on thursday. [ cheers and applause ] you are in a great deal of danger at this thing. do you have security? do you have like a -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: a person hired to people women away from you? keep them off you? >> i don't think that's exclusively all they're hired to do but i think it's definitely -- on a not like that --
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one job. do you have people grabbing at you if. >> i don't mind that. [ cheers and applause ] i'm really going to regret saying that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah, you are, yeah. your dad is a gynecologist. an obstetrician. he's delivered a lot of babies. >> that's true, yeah. >> jimmy: has he seen these movies? i'd like to get a gynecological take on the films themselves. >> yeah. [ laughter ] i don't think he's given me a gynecological take on it. >> jimmy: he has not. >> you know. he's probably got plenty to say about, you know, where things go. >> jimmy: where things go. [ laughter ] he knows all the spots. >> yeah. >> jimmy: your dad i learned today has invented a new soccer game that's becoming popular around the world. >> that's true. that's true. >> jimmy: what is the game? >> circular soccer. it's like a thing. so my dad's dad, who sadly died before i was born, he played soccer for ireland.
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version of this game when they were kids, when dad was a kid. so dad's now developed it into something that sort of works for modern day. it's sort of a training tool, also something that kids can play, you can put it up at the beach. >> jimmy: how many guys play? there's a net in the middle? >> it's sort of unlimit rshd you can't shoot within a certain perimeter of the goal. it's got like three goals. i'm not great at the sort of technicalities of explaining this. >> jimmy: your dad's going to be furious, yeah. we're going to have to get him to explain this. >> he'd love that. >> jimmy: he would love that? >> he's one of those people, he's pretty much retired, he can't stand watching his mates who just retire and just wait to die. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> which a lot of people seem to want to do when they retire. dad's got a very active mind and he wants to keep producing something, giving something to the world. >> jimmy: yeah, after how long was he working? >> 40 years. >> jimmy: after 40 years of looking at vaginas very intently --
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to sport and i think that's a wonderful thing. it's very good to see you. jamie dornan, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "fifty shades darker" opens in theaters february 10th. be right back with adam scott! this is my body of proof. proof of less joint pain. and clearer skin. this is my body of proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis with humira. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that ntributes to both
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it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. humira is the number #1 prescribed biologic for psoriatic arthritis. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira you have an infection. want more proof? ask your rheumatologist about humira. humira. what's your body of proof?
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>> still to come, music from tucker beathard. you know our next guest from many fine movies and tv shows and he's the best guy in all of them. starting february 19th he's married to reese witherspoon in the new hbo series "big little lies." please welcome adam scott. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey, handsome, i like the way you put yourself together. >> wow, thank you very much. >> jimmy: i've been seeing the billboards for "big little lies" all over, some cast. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you, reese witherspoon. >> nicole kidman, shailene woodley. >> jimmy: that's unbelievable. >> it's crazy. >> jimmy: it's a limited series. how limited is the series? >> it's limited to seven
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>> jimmy: okay. and there's no chance that it becomes an ongoing thing? >> well, then it wouldn't be limited, jimmy. laugh li [ laughter ] "every series in a way is limited. >> i was on a limited series called "parks and the recreation." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it was limited, wildly limited. >> limited to 127 episodes. >> jimmy: so there you go. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i want to mention, because you did a thing called -- what was it called? the greatest event in television history? >> oh, yeah, the greatest event. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: in which you would take these classic '80s television show opens, where they used to have opens. >> opening credit sequences, recreate them shot for shot, try to use all the locations they shot in, original shows, and the props and costumes and the all that. >> jimmy: it was right on. >> great. >> jimmy: they were so great. you did "simon and simon." was that the first one? >> then "hart to
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choice. >> thanks. the last one was "bosom buddies." >> jimmy: you got tom hanks to be in that. >> tom hanks did it. peter scolari did it. billy joel did it. >> jimmy: hoe sang the theme song. was it him singing the actual song? or a sound-alike? >> they had a sound-alike. >> jimmy: you got the real billy joel. >> we got the real bill he joel. >> jimmy: that's better. you love '80s music. was that for you, having billy joel around -- did he enjoy himself? >> i don't even know why he did it. like it makes no sense. [ laughter ] will you come do this adult swim show where we recreate an opening credit sequence to something, a theme song you didn't even sing? >> jimmy: yeah. >> he was like, yeah, all right. but it was crazy. we got to hang out with him are. we shot this bit -- i mean, paul rudd was the other person in the show. so we were both big billy joel fans. ate around all day for him to arri
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to shoot with him. he shows up on a motorcycle with a bandana on his head and sunglasses on. and we're just standing out in the parking lot waiting for him. like idiots. [ laughter ] and he gets off his motorcycle. he kind of took his sun glasses off and looked at us like, what the [ bleep ] did i get myself into? two guys waiting for me? we shoot with him, he's awesome. then it finishes. we finish, we're done. and he doesn't leave. he just stays and kind of hangs out. and we're not going to leave or ask him to -- we want to hang owl with billy joel. so we just -- i start kind of trying to think of things to say to him. like i think i asked him like, what was it like making glass houses? i had no idea what to say. so he was cool. kind of handled us. but then invited us out to dinner. >> jimmy: nice. >> we went to dinner with billy joel. >> j
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with the diskography as you went? >> we did, the whole evening peppering him with ridiculous questions. he was totally into it. >> jimmy: what does billy joel eat at a restaurant when he goes? >> actually, he brought a plastic bag of his own clams. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> we went to an italian restaurant with billy joel, which already is incredible. >> jimmy: is great. a bottle of red, a bottle of white, yeah. >> he walked in with his own clams and mussels. handed them to the waiter. the waiter was like, "yep, right away." they went back and prepared them for us. >> jimmy: wow, where did he get them? >> i think he caught them that morning. >> he caught them. this is a miracle. >> like the down easter alexa is for real. he's going out into the bay, it's amazing. >> do they charge a shucking fee when you bring your own? >> i'm sure they do. maybe not for billy. >> jimmy: maybe they don't. last time i saw you was -- last time i saw your
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graham, how old is graham? >> he's 10. >> jimmy: almost a year ago at my house for the super bowl. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you guys came over, your family. and a great thing happened. i'll let you tell the story. >> okay. yeah, we went -- we came to your house for a super bowl party, which was super fan. at jimmy's house, you go -- it's the best party in the world. >> jimmy: television everywhere. >> there's a tv set and you watch the tv, it's amazing. they think of everything. in the bathroom at jimmy's house, there's a few tins of altoids set out. you get a few, spread them out on the counter. like if you want to after you wash your hands pop an altoid before heading back into the party. or maybe like -- maybe take an altoid before you go to the bathroom and put it up your butt. >> jimmy: yeah, whatever, whatever -- i don't tell people
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>> anyway, we're there. that's in the bathroom. and we get home later that afternoon. and my son kind of takes me aside and he's like, dad, check this out. and he pulls out a tin of altoids. that he put into his jacket pocket. and i was just kind of like, oh, man, now i have to like do the thing, the parent thing, where you have to like pretend that this is a big deal. >> jimmy: right. >> and like say, i hope jimmy doesn't call the cops. you have to make it seem like this is a huge deal. >> jimmy: i did call the police, i called 911. >> we appreciated that. because he learned his lesson. >> jimmy: so your son -- >> we made him write a letter to jimmy to apologize for stealing the altoids. >> jimmy: this might be the greatest letter i've ever received. just so you see -- it's real. this is how it comes. dear jimmy, molly, and jane. jane i think was 1 at the time. i loved your party a lot.
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stole a mint pack. [ laughter ] but i have sent it back with this note. he sent the altoids back. with plentiful amount of sorriness, graham scott. [ cheers and applause ] it's a great letter. >> yeah. >> jimmy: now you're saying those altoids he sent back to me, you had them in your butt or he had them in his? >> i put two in my butt. >> jimmy: thank you for sending those back. >> then the next day, the next day graham got something in the mail which was -- or delivered to the house, which was a box of graham crackers. his name is graham. and this note from jimmy. >> jimmy: you want me to read it? oh, yeah, i wrote this. dear graham, thank you for the note and the safe return of our missing altoids. i'm sorry i stole your crackers. your pal, jimmy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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we all learned something that day. adam scott, everybody! "big little lies" premieres february 19th on hbo. be right back with tucker beathard!
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>> jimmy: i'd like to thank jamie dornan, adam scott and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. night whine is next but first, this ep is called "fight like hell," hear making his late-night television debut with the song "mama and jesus," tucker beathard! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ sometimes i drink a little too much i've been known to smoke cus and fight just because ♪ ♪ i've run out of breath doing my best to keep up with these demons and let down momma and jesus ♪
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♪ gonna run out of road before i run out of tread i've found a line to cross every chance i get ♪ ♪ if the wild runs out if i ever settle down god knows it ain't no secret ♪ ♪ it's all about the grace of momma and jesus ♪ ♪ so i'm gonna shoot this last light out get a little lost before i get found ♪ ♪ i'm gunna burn this last one down then turn it around ♪ ♪ for momma and jesus run out of reasons for not giving up on me ♪ ♪ you can go to hell
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from running your lips you crushing out love like a cigarette ♪ ♪ that same old story i'll change, i'm sorry but the only ones forgive me ♪ are me momma and jesus ♪ so i'm gonna shoot this last light out get a little lost before i get found ♪ ♪ i'm gunna burn this last one down then turn it around ♪ ♪ for momma and jesus run out of reasons for not giving up on me ♪ ♪
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♪ so i'm gonna shoot this last light out get a little lost before i get found ♪ ♪ i'm gunna burn this last one down then turn it around ♪ ♪ for momma and jesus run out of reasons for not giving up on me ♪ ♪
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, "inside 30: supreme court pick." a decision that could shape generations to come. >> i'm keeping another promise to the american people. by nominating judge neil gorsuch. >> the youngest nominee in 25 years. >> i'll do all my powers permit to be a faithful servant of the constitution and laws of this great country. >> his conservative credentials have some calling him scalia 2.0. will democrats block his nominati nomination? >> this is a very bad decision. >> high drama at the high court. brave wilderness. >> let's go, let's see what we can find. >> he may have millions of fans on youtube -- >> i'm about to enter the sting zone. one, two, three -- arrgh!


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