tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC September 11, 2009 12:05am-1:05am EDT
finally tonight, an update on a brutal murder case involving 8-year-old sandra cantu. prosecutors in northern california said today that they will seek the death penalty against 28-year-old melissa huckabee for kidnapping, raping and then killing the child whose body was found stuffed in suitcase. huckabee, a sunday schoolteacher whose daughter was a playmate of sandra cantu's has pleaded not guilty to all the charges. and that's our report for tonight. "jimmy kimmel live" is up next. but for now, for terry moran and cynthia mcfadden and all of us at abc, good night, america. there's so many beautiful choices, i don't know which one. oh, hi, everybody. i'm jimmy kimmel and i'm about
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and now, while we're at it, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> thanks. i'm jimmy. that's very nice. you know what, if it wasn't for the swine flu i'd kiss every one of you on the mouth. i really would. well, the new nfl season kicked off tonight with the super bowl champion pittsburgh steelers hosting the tennessee titans. today is or was for me the skinniest day of the year. this is my mary kate olsen phase because it's 22 pizza and buffalo wings packed sundays and then wrapping up with my annual gastric bypass operation.
are you coming to the house on sunday, guillermo? >> yes. >> okay. it's real football, not the fake soccer kind, right? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> and real food. >> president obama made his big healthcare address to a joint session of congress last night. it went pretty well except for one weird part in the middle of it when a congressman from south carolina yelled out suddenly you lie. i'm amazed this guy was able to sit through seven years of president bush telling him everything in iraq was fine, and then he yells out you lie. he apologized immediately after the speech. he said he was watching "gossip girls" on his ipod and that blair such a bitch he couldn't hold it in. in case you missed it, they didn't have camera on the guy, but they went back and they put the camera shot in. look at this. >> for those who claim that our reform efforts would ensure illegal immigrants, this too is false.
the reforms -- the reforms i'm proposing would not apply to those who are here illegally. >> you lie! >> oh, sorry, mr. president, i was talking about my -- it's not others, it's not september. it is july! [ laughter ] what's wrong with you lie? >> well, so it turned out he didn't say you lie at all. and i think the president's favorite month by the way is yanuary. the goal for the president last night was to try to convince the public that something had to be done. the polls seem to indicate he did, but i never trust the polls. i think that if you really want to know what people think, you ask them face to face. so we sent our camera out on the street today to find out what americans specifically americans who dress like wookies for a living are thinking. [ laughter ]
>> oh, the president obama is -- he's not doing much for me. except for sometimes instead of chewbacca i dress up as obama. but it doesn't bring in much money. chewbacca brings much more money to me. everyone got mad because i was white and everybody is like obama is black and, you know, i was like, okay. i was like but i'm not really obama dude, i'm just a street performer. but i only made like 7 bucks that day. [ cheers and applause ] >> seems more than i would have guessed. oprah winfrey is getting ready for a new season of her new show that premieres next week, but today they had a kickoff party in michigan avenue on chicago. i guess they closed down the whole street. black eyed peas, james taylor, they were summoned by oprah and they showed up to perform and do her bidding. people love oprah. and they lined up for this taping a full day before the concert even started to make
sure they got in. >> in less than four hours gates will open for fans who want to see oprah's big block party on the magnificent mile. >> hundreds of people have gathered to try to get a spot in the audience. it should accommodate thousands of people. >> you name oprah and everybody stops. like oprah, oprah, hey, you know, oprah, with a big o. oprah! [ laughter ] >> well, you know, she made several good points. just to be safe, oprah's henchman had her destroyed before the show. another talk show host in the news is ellen degeneres who as you probably heard will replace paula abdul as the new judge on "american idol" this season and i will be taking her spot as the host of "ellen" this season. [ laughter ] as if idol wasn't long enough, from now on, they'll start with 20 minutes of the audience dancing. so that will be good. some people are saying it's a bad choice because ellen doesn't
have any expeerngs in the -- experience in the music business but i think they should be reminded that randy jackson has decades of experience in the music business and all he can seem to say is i'm not feeling it, dog. that may be overrated as a quality. so anyway to prepare ellen she has to get ready for this difficult job of filling paula's shoes. she will be fitted with a vicodin drip and beaten over the head with a frying pan. last night was the premiere of the 13th season of "america's next top model." i can't believe there's still any dangerously skinny women left in america to compete this thing, but there are. one of the wanna-be top models jumped out to the lead in the unstable category. >> what was all that? >> my cat walk, meow! i'm a christian and i know jesus christ is real. i feel so good about talking
about it. ♪ jesus, you're my best friend >> i do feed the homeless on friday nights. we'll rap or we'll sing or dance. >> how do you dance for the homeless? >> tyra, shake that thing, shake that thing. i used to be a crazy girl, and not -- and that didn't bring me happiness. >> and now, i'm perfectly normal. [ laughter ] by the way, dancing for the homeless, not a bad show idea for abc. [ laughter ] of course, the meat of the show if you can use that term with women who weigh 40 pounds like that one is the judges' vote. here's how that went for amber. >> the next girl's name is -- amber. >> thank you, jesus christ! thank you. thank you, jesus. i love you!
>> i hope you will still love him if i didn't call your name. >> i love him! >> well, jesus has just unfriended her on facebook. [ laughter ] so he actually -- amber quit the show after she got picked for personal reasons. but hopefully we'll see her on a show hosted by dr. drew in a very knew future. sad news this week after an 11-year separation, hugh hefner has filed for divorce from his second wife, former playmate kimberly conrad-hefner citing erectile -- irreconcilable differences. i didn't know they were married. yesterday, hefner told tmz she cheated on him. she cheated on him? the man has 14 live-in girlfriends. they do a show together on television. this is like bernie madoff complaining that someone owes him 20 bucks. so the marriage is over i guess. hef goes through so many
relationships, he's starting to become the jennifer aniston of dudes. i'm sorry, he isn't becoming that. [ laughter ] there's some news about caster semenya. that's the south african runner whose gender was called into question and they did a gender test to determine if she a man or not. i guess in a highlight to femininity, a magazine did a photo shoot and here's the cover of the magazine. she looks great. [ laughter ] let me tell you something, if everyone was trying to castrate me, i'd be a fast runner too. congratulations are in order for nicole ritchie and joel madden who had a baby yesterday morning. they had a son and they named him sparrow james midnight madden. [ laughter ] beautiful name. people wonder where celebrities come up with these crazy names and the truth is, they get them
from a box. guillermo, bring out the box for a second. now, this is the celebrity baby box. we keep it here in hollywood and when a famous person has a baby, guillermo brings it to their house or the hospital and here's how it works. you reach in to the box, okay, and you go, sparrow. james. midnight. and madden. that's how it works. very simple. there are all sorts of celebrity baby names there. look, you have apple. you've got blanket. [ laughter ] and that's how it's done and that's how they picked the name. [ cheers and applause ] somehow brad pitt and angelina jolie pulled a maddux and a
sahara out of the box. and one more thing, you can go to youtube and you can watch a full movie which makes you wonder which kind of movies is youtube going to offer. it turns out they have a lot of movies. in fact, they're releasing the trailers for them. what this -- this is one. >> in a world without hope, one brave soldier with pick up a light saber and give man kind one last chance. youtube in association with land o'lakes butter nuggets proudly presents, fat light saber kid. this film is not yet rated. >> well, i would definitely rent that. [ cheers and applause ] we've got a good show tonight. the former governor of illinois, rod blagojevich is here. we have music tonight from white lies. and we'll be right back with nick cannon, so hang out. #ú3ú ♪
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♪ hi, there. we're back. welcome back to the program. we have a good one tonight. the former governor of illinois. he was impeached but apparently it was a big misunderstanding. his new book is called "the governor". one of the things we're going to focus on is his hair because i'm going to be honest with you, i have a feeling mine is headed in this direction. also tonight, from the united kingdom. they go on tour with kings of
leon starting september 28 in minneapolis. with music from their debut album, "to lose my life", white lies is here. tomorrow night, julie bowen, rumer willis, and the used, so please join us then. our guest is an actor, television personalty, clothing designer and marrier of mariah carey. he is the host of "america's got talent", which climaxes spectacularly with a two-night season finale on monday and wednesday. please say hello to nick cannon. nick cannon. [ cheers and applause ] you look very sharp. you really do. >> thank you, man. i try. i try. >> i heard you had a nickname that i thought was funny regarding your clothing. >> reverend dressy jackson. >> dressy jackson.
[ laughter ] >> i like that. >> yeah. i like that a lot. you could -- you could do some derivation of al sharpton also if you wanted to work it out. but it's not something to work out here. >> not right here. >> how is married life going? >> it's amazing. i love it. any married people in the building. [ applause ] you all don't sound that happy. >> that's because they're not married to mariah carey. >> oh, okay. >> they're married to their wives and husbands. >> right. >> what is it like being married to mariah carey? >> it is wonderful. for one thing you have to go into knowing that you'll get no closet space never again. it's great because even like our bathroom is like a salon. i mean, she has like all of these products and things and i've got like this little corner. i'm a man, so i've got my axe sensitive shower gel in the corner. one thing. but she has a whole store. i'm good with the one bottle of
exfoliator, i'm out. >> i think mariah, she is very nice -- much friendlier than i expected. >> you thought she'd be a gangster? >> no, i didn't think that. but when people are super famous -- like she ran into my parents in the elevator and she was nice to them. she was very late both times and we were nervous she wouldn't be here. is that something you have to deal with on a regular basis? >> i mean, when you're mariah carey you operate on mariah carey time. >> i know. but our show starts at midnight. nothing we can do about it. >> i'm right there with you. >> i think you'd experience this a lot. >> if we're supposed to be somewhere at 6:00 i don't get dressed until 7:00. i roll with it. >> it takes a very patient husband to be all right with that sort of thing. >> i'm a good husband. i'm a purse holder. yeah. i'm good. i'm just content. >> you're describing yourself
more as a pet than a husband. [ laughter ] do you feel like that sometimes? >> i'm a pet. hey, pets are sexy. >> how long have you been married now? >> oh, man, it's going on two years. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. this is something that i want to you ask you about now. we have this photograph. this is you wearing mariah as a hat on the beach. we see here on your back -- in fact, i have a close-up version of this. a tattoo that says mariah on it. and then she got a tattoo of your -- that says -- >> mrs. cannon. if you squint real hard you can see it. >> let's again compare the size of these tattoos. lawsuit luft -- [ laughter ] and your respective names. it seems like you didn't get the better of the deal here. >> but you know what it is? because like she has these millions and millions of fans who have like her whole face tattooed on their chest and all that. so if -- i've got to top the
fans so i have to sprawl my back out there and put it out there. >> so you don't have that? you don't have people with nick cannon tattooed on their bodies? >> that would be a little freaky. >> even after "america's got talent"? >> there might be a couple of strange people. >> speaking of strange people, you work with david hasselhoff. [ laughter ] >> i love the hoff. he's gangster. >> what does that mean, the hoff is gangster? >> the hoff is gangster. you don't want to rub the hoff the wrong way. >> i wouldn't rub him at all, to be honest with you. [ laughter ] but he is a real character. isn't he? >> yes. see, to me, in my mind, david hasselhoff is a television icon. he's michael knight to me. when i see him, i just think like he's the coolest man ever to be on television, man. that was knight rider and he was on "beachwatch".
especially in germany. >> when you go into germany you're more of a fan? i have heard they go nuts for him in germany. i have heard that's the case, and something you have to go along with. is he like fun to work with? >> he's the best, man. >> he is? >> he has a great sense of humor and he's -- i mean, if you watch the show, every question i ask him he somehow incorporates the word hoff into it. >> yeah. he's -- >> he's talking about hoff medicine and hoff official and hoff drops. >> i find that annoying. you don't find that annoying? >> you don't see the hilarity in that? >> i do see the hilarity in it, but at a certain point when it becomes hofficial i go enough. a lot of them are specific, they have singing and dancing, making clothes or whatever. this is a specific -- this is a variety show. >> yeah. >> do you find any of these people to be actually talented? >> absolutely. i mean, we're in the finals now
and we have ten amazing people. i mean, it's a large array from, you know, a 75-year-old stand-up comedian. >> yeah. >> to an amazing opera singer, to an r&b singer. to young kids. so to be able to turn on the television and see that america truly is talented it's one of those things where you sit back and you're proud. >> but the last season it was like a guy who works a puppet was a winner. >> yeah, but that dude got a $100 million deal in vegas so somebody thinks he's talented. i work a puppet for that money any day. [ laughter ] >> i know you're very close with your mom. your mom -- your mom i think i remember you saying something about your mom being like kind of -- >> a thug? >> no, not a thug, but being very tough on girlfriends. >> yeah. i mean, i mean, she loves mariah and her and mariah get along wonderfully and i love that. >> thank god. >> because my mom if she don't
like you she'll let you know instatemeni insta instantly? >> really? >> yeah. a couple of my exgirlfriends have got restraining orders on my mom. because she'll pull up in an suv and just wait. if you do something wrong to her son, she'll pull all the ex-gang member moves out. >> really? >> yeah. you don't want to go there. and like the blogs -- because sometimes they say stuff about me on, you know, on the internet and stuff. my mom goes nuts on them. she gets in there and just finds out where they live and be -- [ laughter ] >> really? >> i love my mom. forget a bodyguard, i've got a body mama. >> that's a good way of looking at it, i guess. [ laughter ] good to see you. nick cannon, everybody. the finale for "america's got talent" airs september 14 at 9:00 p.m. and 16 at 8:00 p.m. on nbc. we'll be right back with rod blagojevich. hello, i'm a mac. and i'm a pc. and here at pc innovations lab... wait, what? pc innovations lab? well, you know how you have your patented magsafe cord
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but this is the united states of america and mere felony charges cannot and will not stop a book tour. his book is called "the governor". please welcome the governor rod blagojevich. [ cheers and applause ] well, you're the second former governor to appear on our show. jes jessy ventura was the other one. >> oh, yeah. >> and he moved to mexico which might not be a bad idea for you. >> oh, yeah, where's guillermo? >> he's over there. [ speaking spanish ] >> wow. i'm ready to go. >> what does that mean? >> it said i'm son of an immigrant, father of the children, i understand the importance of jobs, and healthcare for children. >> but that was in spanish. >> well, you trust me to tell
you the truth? >> i don't know. i don't know anything, i'm mostly fascinated by your hair which we'll get to in a moment. >> i've noticed. [ laughter ] >> but you got in trouble -- impeached for basically, they say you tried to sell barack obama vacant senate seat. >> mm-hmm. they got you on tape making a telephone call which is never a good thing and let me read some of the quotes. these are quotes from the thing. then you can kind of just -- because to me -- >> i can set the record straight. >> yeah. to me when i go this, i just go, well, busted. but -- [ laughter ] you said i've got this thing, and it's f-ing golden and i'm not giving it up for f-ing anything. when you said thing -- that could have meant a couple of different things. [ laughter ] >> it could have meant a lot of things. can i address this? >> yes. >> it wasn't one conversation. they had taped my telephones for
well over a month. hundreds of hours of taped conversations, hundreds of them. these accusations that i was trying to sell the senate seat of the president for financial gain are completely false. the truth is in the taped conversations. now the irony here, jimmy s that the accuser, the ones who they arrested me while i was locked up in the jail cell and the accuser is alleging taking out of context conversations from some of those tapes. out of context, then saying he was stopping a crime spree before it happened. that is false. the day before in conversations over those same telephones, i directed my chief of staff to work out a political deal with the president's new chief of staff to get a job's bill passed so we can put people to work, a healthcare bill passed and a written guarantee in the democratic speaker of the house not to raise taxes on people. it was about negotiating a deal for the people of illinois and right in my -- i write in my
book i was going to make a senator out of somebody i didn't like whose father was my political nemesis, and this is a story that was upside down. someone is lying and the truth is in the tapes. the accused wants you to hear the tapes and the accuser won't allow me to talk in detail about the specifics of the tapes ore even to tell you what comes after. >> how can they do that release just certain parts of the tape? i don't understand why -- >> you sound like me every minute of the day. >> when the tapes come out, you weren't trying to get money for yourself, but doing what politicians do which is -- you know, you try to make deals and try to get something for a favor. >> well, it depends on what you want to get. if it's for your financial gain that's not good. it if it's for the people of -- if it's for the people of illinois, creating jobs and not
raising their taxes and making a senator out of somebody you don't even write and i write about that -- >> you're talking about oprah? >> no, someone else. that's not only government, but me putting my own personal views aside. someone is lying, i say hear all the tapes and the other side is saying you can't. i can't tell you what i'm on the tape saying about this is f-ing golden. >> one day you'll be able to get the tapes and be able to put them out there, true? >> i would be stunned if you -- if we could not provide all of those tapes in a court of law. i would be stunned that that could happen in america. but again, after what's happened to me and my family because i have done nothing wrong, i was thrown out of office, prevent by the state senate to bring in witnesses like u.s. senator, the president's chief of staff who would testify to the truth is prevented from having all of the tapes heard. i predicted my successor would try to raise taxes on people and less than six weeks later, the
new governor wants a new tax on people. i hope you all read the book. this is an interesting story. >> well, definitely interesting. >> yes. i'm sorry, jimmy. >> i can't argue with you on anything, because obviously you're very familiar with this case. but, you know, some of this -- [ laughter ] some of the things, according to the book you're completely innocent, by the way. >> according to the truth. well, according to the truth i'm completely innocent. by the way, everything i write in that book, all that is going to be subject to being talked about in a court of law. and so a lot of experts say i've got to be out of my right to write this book because i'm handing e prosecutors things they can so-called impeach me on. but the simple truth is the simple truth. whether i write it in that book or whether i testify in the court or talk to you that's what the truth is let the people hear all the tapes. i would like you to hear them. my accusers won't let you hear
them much less talk about them. >> you go through the country and you think eventually the guilty get convict and the innocent go free for the most part, but why would the government come after you personally? i mean, were you that -- like you think it had anything to do with your hair? [ laughter ] >> i'll tell you this. i'll tell you this. probably not. but it's -- it's more likely if they were pursuing the truth they didn't like my hairstyle that they would have done that than what they're accusing me of because that's false and untrue. >> now, i have to say, looking at you upclose the hair looks a lot better than it does on television. it's got some body to it and everything. so you get up in the morning and go into the shower. you wash your hair. what happens, what's the regimen from there? how does it go? >> well, it's not that complicated. i dry it. >> you dry it? you use the blow-dryer? >> no. >> that happens naturally?
>> yeah. >> you do live in the windy city. >> i live in the windy city. do i comb my hair a lot? probably more than i should. but however, i grew up in the disco era where a hair brush was an extension of your right hand and i got in the habit of it as a kid in a big city. >> one of your hobbies, you like to brush your hair. [ laughter ] >> i just do it. >> when all this is said and done and presuming that everything goes as you hope it will, as you expect that it will, will you run for office again? >> you know, jimmy, i'm not ruling anything out. i believe in come backs. i talk about my immigrant father who came from yugoslavia, a serbian after world war ii, he was a prisoner of the war of the nazis for two years. he came to america, he was a working man, a steelworker, and my mother was a working mother. their young son became a governor of the state. and one of the values that my dad taught me the test of you as a person isn't how many times
you're knocked down, but how many times you get back up. i'm not writing myself off as somebody who would come back. all of our senior citizens ride the buses and subway trains for free. the only state to do that. all 3 and 4-year-olds can go to preschool in illinois. i put a record amount of money in education, did not raise taxes on people, raised the minimum wage twice for low-wage workers who sweep floors and clean office buildings and fought the establishment to get the things done. i do political -- do i have political enemies, absolutely, and winston churchill said, oh, that means you stood for something. >> well, obviously you have some enemies no doubt about that. >> yeah. >> and -- >> can i be your friends? i'm looking for friends, you're a cool guy. >> let's see how it all works out. [ laughter ] i will say this. probably going to want to think about, if you do happen to go to prison you should probably think
about what gang you will join. have you thought about that? >> no. >> you're going to have to have an affiliation. the other thing i want to ask you about which seems -- you talk about the great things that you did for the strait -- state, but this seems to be a lapse in judgment and that is getting on a reality show with heidi and spencer. what guess through your mind? >> well, you're hijacked from office and you lose your job. >> still, it can't come to that. heidi maybe, but heidi and spencer? >> my wife was working as a director to help the homeless and her job was taken away from her because of all the political -- >> so you needed the money. >> so we had the unique offer. there are many americans who lost their job and unlike them, we have been blessed patty and i. as unusual as the reality show and the jungle might be, we were given an opportunity to earn a
living. again, very strange, in a jungle. i wanted to go, i was prevented by the judge to go and patty chose because she loves her children, was willing to make a sacrifice for her family. this is what mothers to who love her kids. she went into the jungle and did what she -- >> if i were her, i would never let them forget that. i went into jungle for you kids! >> she says it to me. can i say one thing? she was in the jungle for one month and i was left with the little girl. i love my little girls and they're precious, but no one told me never to give them sugar late at night and they were jumping off the walls and i think it was more of a jungle for me than patty. >> that's right. i just thought of this idea and i think you're going to like this. >> it is legal and ethical? >> yes, it's definitely legal. ethical, i never really know. but this seat that you're
sitting on right now, this is my seat. but i'd be willing to let you sell it. you could sell this vacant seat -- >> okay. >> -- on ebay. and you can do whatever. give the money to charity, keep it, but you can sell it literally sell your seat. >> can i make a deal with you? >> yeah. >> can you hire three people who don't have jobs and give them jobs, i'll sell your seat. >> absolutely. there you go. rod blagojevich. "the governor" is in bookstores now. we'll be right back with the white lies. (german folk music plays)
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♪ i wonder what keeps us so high up ♪ ♪ could there be a love beneath these wings ♪ ♪ if we suddenly fall should i scream out ♪ ♪ or keep very quiet and cling to ♪ ♪ my mouth as i'm crying so frightened of dying ♪ ♪ relax, yes, i'm trying but fears got a hold on me ♪ ♪ yes, this fears got a hold on me ♪ ♪ yes, this fear's got a hold on me ♪ ♪ i love the quiet of the nighttime ♪
♪ when the sun is drowned in a deathly sea ♪ ♪ i can feel my heart beating as i speed from ♪ ♪ the sense of time catching up with me ♪ ♪ the sky set out like a pathway ♪ ♪ but who decides which road we take ♪ ♪ as people drift into a dream world ♪ ♪ i close my eyes as my hands shake ♪ ♪ and when i see a new day who's driving this anyway ♪ ♪ i picture my own grave cause fear's got a hold on me ♪
♪ yes, this fear's got a hold on me ♪ ♪ yes, this fear's got a hold on me ♪ ♪ yes, this fear's got a hold on me ♪ ♪ floating neither up or down i wonder when i hit the ground ♪ ♪ will the earth beneath my body shake ♪ ♪ and cast your sleeping hearts awake ♪ ♪ could it tremble stars from moon lit skies ♪ ♪ could it drag a tear from your cold eyes ♪ ♪ i live on the right side, i sleep on the left ♪ ♪ that's why everything has got to be love or death ♪ ♪ yes, this fear's got a hold on me ♪ ♪ yes, this fear's got a hold on me ♪ ♪ yes, this fear's got a hold on