tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 6, 2009 12:05am-1:05am EDT
>> reporter: the medevac unit i was embedded with flew into the circle of darkness. before corkscrewing to the landing below. we landed in a valley at the bottom of steep mountains making us incredibly vulnerable to attack even more so because medevac helicopters do not have any weapons. there were actually several wounded soldiers who refused medical care. they stayed and fought, while wounds, because they didn't want to leave their base. the area smelled like burned out pine trees. something one soldier described as death and hell. >> we'll have karen's full report in the days ahead. that's our report for tonight. for all of us at abc, good that's our report for tonight. for all of us at abc, good night. captions by vitac >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel.
david alan grier. pink. and that is greg with a vacuum. also tonight, we're going to check in on the jackson family patriarch, joe jackson who did this interview with his date at the vma. >> who is that? >> are you kidding, that's joe jackson. >> how are you doing, mr. jackson? >> i'm doing milky. >> how did you find this young lady? >> well, i found her in a port-a-potty. yeah. that's why i took her home with me. >> jimmy: he needs a dermatologies. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes. when it comes to things you care about,
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10-year-old vacuum cleaner expert. and music from pink. and cleto and the cletones! ♪ and now for your amusement, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome to the show. you're watching at home, thank you for watching at bars on the little tv where you can't actually hear anything i say. over the course of the next hour, i will share my secrets to
getting the job, the house, and the man of your dreams. did i say man? i meant lady. just out of curiosity, who in our audience tonight does not have health care? [ applause ] >> jimmy: the whoos are appropriate. don't clap hard, you're spreading disease over the rest of us. people are going nuts over the health care stuff. yesterday, representative joe wilson of south carolina was formally reprimanded for shotting at president obama for his address to congress last week. he's the guy who yelled "you lie" in the middle of president obama's speech. while most people condemned his behavior, some people at these health care rallies are embracing him as a heroes. >> i had yelled it a number of times. when he finally said it, i thought someone had finally said it. >> he did vote in the past for some level of health care for
illegal immigrants which makes what he yelled ironic. >> joe wilson supported that? i am not supporting joe wilson for president. >> jimmy: yes. i'm just holding this sign for a friend. he said he'll be back in five minutes. even though joe wilson himself apologized, believe it or not, since the incident, people have been sending him check. he's raised more than $1 million for his campaign. other politicians seeing this, in this economy, it's tough to get money, are trying to get money sent their way, too. >> it's time to give every opportunity to americans that americans give them. >> that's a lie. >> you're a liar! >> liar! >> liar! >> liar! >> jimmy: i want to wish our friends living in mexico a happy independence day today. >> that's right, jimmy, it's
mexican independence day. so i quit. i quit. no mas. >> jimmy: what? >> i quit. guillermo here. guillermo there. wow. i'm independence today. no more listening to these people. oh, my god, i'm tired of jimmy kimmel over here. jimmy kimmel over there. watch football. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's the guillermo show! ♪ >> hello, and welcome to my show. i'm guillermo. boy, how about kanye west. he's a real jerk. ♪ my first guest is a funny guy. he has a new book called "barack
like me." please welcome david alan grier. >> jimmy: david alan grier is my guest tonight. >> no he's my guest. >> jimmy: you can't just steal my guest. come back down here. you're my guest. >> jimmy, i don't want to get in the middle of this. i just want to talk about my book and get out of here. >> jimmy: i know. but you did make a commitment to us first, right? >> yeah, i mean, but your uncles here. >> jimmy: uncle frank! [ applause ] >> sorry, jim. >> jimmy: you can actually keep him. >> tell us about your new book. in espanol. >> jimmy: i'm starting to think there's too many talk shows. yesterday, the chairman of the
federal reserve, ben bernanke said, it's very likely at that recession is over. i hope this isn't like when president bush told us the war in iraq is over. determining what is the beginning and end of a recession isn't an exact science. in fact, we have a very old-fashioned way of doing it. look at this. >> it's been taken off the table. and we're well on our way to a full-blown economic recovery. >> jimmy: see that, what they do is pull jim cramer out of his hole and when he sees his shadow, the recession is done. you don't know who jim cramer is, do you? that's why the joke didn't work. a mexican show upstairs, if you guys want to go there. [ laughter ] right now on hollywood boulevard, outside of the building there's a guy named chewbacca. he works for tips.
he sees people all around the country every day. who better to ask whether or not the recession is over than him. >> i don't think we're out of this recession yet. but i just save all of my money that i make. i save it. i put it in this jar at my house. if i was really, really rich. i'd get like a big, a big pool. and i'd put mud in it. and i'd put turtles in it. and i'd start a turtle farm and charge people, i don't know, maybe $15 admission just to check out the turtles. and my friend billy, he's a midget, that lives down the street, he said that's a good idea. >> jimmy: he can ride them. the entrepreneurial spirit. michael jackson's father, joe
jackson, he was at the awards the other day. i think we missed the fact that joe showed up at this tribute with an attractive young recording artist, a singer named tiana. he's managing her, i guess. joe and tiana sat down with a person named talentino and does a show for something called web tv. >> do you write music? >> i co-write my songses. >> could this one be a superstar? >> well, that's a good question. the first thing that told me a superstar was a talker named barth that move. the other thing that told me she had what it takes she don't mind when i throw stuff at her. when i don't like what she's
singing i can throw books, rocks, and i also get to have sex a lot. that's why she's going to be a superstar. case closed. now, go to bed, blanket. >> thank you, mr. jackson. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: thank you, mr. jackson. i'll tell you what, i look forward to big things for both tiana and talentino. this is good, a lucky fan made a pretty nice catch in the stands. >> a fastball that shot to the upper deck. caught by that fan right there. it's grabbed. whoops, there is goes! >> well, she's only doing what she sees him doing all the time. >> jimmy: what's that you get for teaching her to share. when i was 2 years old, had i done that, my dad would not have
given me a hug. i would have been face down in the outfield. the exciting new drama in the saga of jon and kate. i don't know why anyone cares about these two. their former nanny now claims that she had an affair while living in the house. and while she was watching the children, they were having sex. if you can find time with eight kids, you marry that person. if you look at last year's episode of the show, you can see that there was some chemistry between them. >> it's not a mid-life crisis. i'm nowhere near mid-life. i'm 32 years old. i've always liked motorcycles and cars. fast things. i have four tattoos. that's the way i've always been in charge of myself. fans just come out a lot more.
>> jimmy: she's probably pulling the kids out from underneath the couch, right? this has been a banner week for bad behavior between the u.s. open and kanye west. it makes you wonder what's happened to manners in this country. but you get a lot more publicity for acting badly than being nice. then even more when you apologize on oprah or larry king. now, they're even giving out awards for it. >> the 2009 sorries. a nice to honor the apologies of 2009. politician and sports, including chris brown. >> i thought it was time that you heard directly from me that i'm sorry. >> bernard madoff. >> the octomom. >> sorry. >> michael phelps. >> serena williams. >> i want to apologize. >> john ensign. >> i'll truly sorry.
>> michael vick. >> i was wrong. >> joe wilson. george michael. kanye west. and a special lifetime achievement award to mel gibson. the 2009 sorries. you'll be sorry you missed it. >> jimmy: i would watch that. i would watch that. [ cheers and applause ] we've got a good show tonight. a 10-year-old vacuum expert gregory evans is here with us. we have music with pink. and david alan grier. >> no, you won't. he's my guest! ♪ for joint pain.
>> jimmy: we're back. grammy award winning artist. this is her fifth album called fun house. pink is here. [ cheers and applause ] and we have a very unusual young he's 10 years old, and he loves vacuum cleaners. >> 10-year-old gregory evans has just found his latest treasure. >> where did you find that one? >> young shop. >> gregory evans loves vacuums. while other kids dream of disney world, where is gregory's favorite destination? and the 10-year-old is such an expert on vacuums, he can tell which model is running just by its sound. >> eureka mega boss. >> jimmy: so, tonight, wee going to test that vacuum recognition
talent. we've got a whole bunch of vacuums. tomorrow on the show, rachael ray and friday, shakira will be here. set your dvrs immediately. on ebay, we're auctioning off former governor rod blagojevich's seat. igd it. right now, on ebay, the bidding is $5,500. the auction ends tomorrow night. the first guest tonight say gifted actor, comedian and clothes wearer whose unique of style could make only a cranberry jacket look good. it's new book comes out october 6th. please say hello to david alan
grier. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is there a problem with sitting in the governor's seat? >> i just feel dirty. >> jimmy: well, that's not going to help the value of the chair, david. how are you? >> well, jimmy, i think you can tell how i am. >> jimmy: good? >> a little different the last time you saw me. a whole new persona. >> jimmy: you're gay now? >> no, not quite. i'm not going there. bingo. >> jimmy: you're wearing a hat you that usually don't do. >> no come on! >> jimmy: new shirt. >> i'm an author now, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, you're an author. [ applause ]
. you do seem you have a lot more gravitas. >> i'm a man of letters. i'm doing a play on broadway. it's race, drama. very serious part with a wonderful cast. so no more there are funny guy. >> jimmy: who else is in the play? >> james spader, kerry washington, richard thomas. and david alan grier as the negro. [ laughter ] >> it's not funny. i told you, none of that. no more laughter, really. jimmy, i'm here as an author. an intellectual. to discuss with you about my new persona. before i go further, i will be at hill lariatties in cleveland.
>> jimmy: some things never change. you're also a former celebrity ball room dance. we must never forget that. >> yeah. [ applause ] . i'm glad you brought that up, jimmy. we all know what happened this past we're. serena. kanye west, and the white guy, wilson. there are copycats. i'm the first one of starting that whole trend of being rude, and they've taken it. >> jimmy: you spun out on the judges when you were on "dancing with the stars." >> i'm an artist. passionate man. >> jimmy: i know adam carolla gets invited back to do appearances. do you get invited back to the show? >> not so far. they haven't invited me. >> jimmy: they haven't. wow. >> which is fine. i don't need to hang out there.
go kymy, go, girl! whoo! i can't come on the property. i'll just stands behind the fence. love you. >> jimmy: let's talk about the book. "barack like me: the chocolate-covered truth." >> thank you. >> jimmy: the cover, it would appear like silliness, but it's your life story. for instance, i did not know you were black before reading this book. >> wait a minute. i want to you read this blush there. >> jimmy: i did give the blush for you. the definitive guy for blackness. the master word. career triumphs again. >> when i got the quote. i said, thank you, jimmy, it was very sweet of you to provide it. the next thought was, he obviously hasn't read the book. >> jimmy: in my defense, you
asked me for a quote before sending me the book. as a result of that -- >> you know what, let's go on. >> jimmy: i based my review on your track record of excellence. i don't think i've ever read a book that i haven't put a quote on it. >> read that. >> jimmy: david's human and wit are as big as his penis, huge. and it's created a wizard of goblins. it will become a great tv movie. adam carolla has said the book is funny and thought-provoking. by the way, adam carolla has never read a book. it's the greatest since dr. washington julius carver 00
i think invented the peanut. congratulations. there are interesting stories. i didn't know that you tried to become a black panther. at one time in your life. >> when i was 15 years old. i was a blerd. a black nerd. me and my best friend, ronnie livingston, because i had to change his name for the book. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> oh, yeah. we walked for, god, it must be a mile. we put our army jackets on. and we're going to join the black panther family. we get to this bullet-ridden door. and padlocked. and the guy swings the door open. what you brothers want? aww, we want -- >> how would are you are you? >> 15. >> i'm sorry, i can't let you give your life to the
revolution. you've got to come back next year when you're 16. we ran all the way home. >> jimmy: i liked how you change your friend from ron who was an actor. >> well, that was his real name. >> jimmy: in the book you've changed him. i've got you. now, you've slandered him on television. >> hold on, as an intellectual, when you write a book, you can't have people's real names in it. right guys in the band? they know. >> jimmy: no, they don't. >> they've all written books about their drug past and such. >> jimmy: your dad wrote this book and this is not a joke called "black rage" that was in 1968. was your dad an angry guy? >> he was when he wrote that book. this fueled my comments to the judges on "dancing with the
stars." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> yes. no, he was the original angry black man. >> jimmy: and your grandfather wrote this book called "black, black, black, black, black." >> my great, great, great grandmother wrote a book. we come from a long line of politically down people. >> jimmy: the book goes between your life and also you intended t the inauguration. i think it's an interesting contrast. how did you wind up at the inauguration. >> well in that euphoric moment when barack obama became president. we were tearing up and hugging. i'm going to the inauguration. i hugged my wife.
we're now divorcing. a lot of things change. she's like, are you serious? like a hangover. she go, what you said last night. i said, what did i say? we're going to the inauguration. oh, yeah, that started the journey. >> jimmy: how did you wind up? were you invited to the inauguration? >> initially? initially, i was given tickets. the platinum vip package is what was told me worth $50,000. i basically was going to sit next to barack obama an hold the lincoln bible. i'm like, really. >> jimmy: and then what happened? >> we ended up with the purple tickets. >> jimmy: what did those represent? >> they were purple tickets. when i got there. everybody had purple tickets. purple, that's a royal color. i mean, it's not gold.
and when we got there, it just was -- it was interesting. >> jimmy: were there other celebrities with you? >> not in my group. not in my group. as i stood, let me repeat, stood on the field with transit workers, the salts of the earth, you know, i look after the whole thing is over, i look and see m.c. hammer. m.c. hammer had like the silver vip tickets. >> jimmy: he gave more than $35 to president obama's campaign. he bought his way on the backfield. >> i was supposed to give money? i didn't know that. >> jimmy: which one is yours? there we go "barack like me." it comes out october 6th. david alan grier. and we have the vacuum expert,
very special childhood birthday or christmas morning when we unwrapped our very first vacuum cleaner under the tree. our next guest has been collecting them since 3 years old. he's brought along a few of his favorites from illinois. please welcome gregory evans. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: greg, i assume this is part of your collection, and you're not just cleaning up here right now? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is one of your vacuum cleaners? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: how many do you have? >> 50 or 60. >> jimmy: and where do you keep them? >> everywhere. >> jimmy: everywhere in your house. >> my playhouse and my grandpa's garage. >> jimmy: your playhouse is filled with vacuum cleaners.
what makes this special. it doesn't look -- go ahead. >> my barbershop hair cutter, she gave it to me because it was broken. the fan inside of it was broken. so i had to put a new motor in it. >> jimmy: you put the new motor in yourself? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: how did you learn to do that? >> i just learned. >> jimmy: jesus sent you a message telling you -- you just took it apart? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: that's impressive. you do this regularly with vacuum cleaners? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: what is it about them that you like so much? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: i like to vacuum. and i like the pattern on the carpet. that's nice, isn't it? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: do you like mowing the lawn, too? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: i like the pattern of mowing the lawn also. it's alled obsessive compulsive disorder. there's treatment for it. >> can i ask you a question have
you ever seen the show "borders?" >> no. >> jimmy: it's people who collect things, unusual things like this. are the kids at school jealous because you have all of these vacuums? >> huh-uh. >> jimmy: you were 3 years old when you started doing this? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: in this picture, you're 4. was this your first vacuum? >> no. >> jimmy: this is a vacuum you're photographed with. do you name your vacuums? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't. you just own them? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: is your room very clean? is it spotless? >> it's messy. >> jimmy: is the carpet clean? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: the rest is messy. what's your take on wet vacs,
are you into those? >> uh-huh. >> do you collect those? >> some of them. >> jimmy: we have a couple. this looks like an abontique. >> this is a victor, my dad got it off of ebay. you pump it to get the suction. >> jimmy: did you freak out when you got this thing? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: what do you think about dustbuster, that's for wimps, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: can you tell us what the adamagements are? i think this can actually be educational for me. i know there's the one, i use the one that's kind of squarish? >> this? >> jimmy: no i don't use that one. i threw that right in the garbage. >> this? >> jimmy: i don't know what this is for. what is that for?
>> this is the upholstery tool. >> jimmy: do you do the chairs at home? >> do you like the steamers? >> like the shark. >> do you like that one? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: you disconnected it? >> uh-huh. you hook the hose up like this. >> jimmy: you do know what you're doing. >> you hook the attachments like this. >> did you ever turn it on with your lips on it and -- >> no. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what other attachments are there? >> a dusting brush. >> jimmy: what's that for? >> you just stuff like shelves. it has the crevice cool. >> jimmy: the crevice tool. that's what that's called, huh? this is very impressive. we saw in the news clip earlier that you're able to identify these vacuums simply by hearing them. so when we come back, we're
going to put you to a test. we're going to blind fold you and fire up some vacuums. oh, yes, we are. gregory evans, everybody. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ready r a refreshing new twist on bud light? ♪ introducing bud light golden wheat. all the drinkability of bud light... brewed with golden wheat for a refreshing new taste. refreshing. light. flavorful. no matter how you look at it, this is huge. bud light golden wheat. light beer. huge flavor. ♪ tell us about the goal-line stand. well, i owe my great hair to head & shoulders. it's for more than just dandruff. that's not what i asked, troy.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: david alan grier and gregory evans. this is not a hostage situation. gregory has a special skill, and that skill is, he's able to identify vacuum cleaners just from hearing the sound of that vacuum cleaners. correct, gregory? >> yes. >> hold on, jimmy. gregory, how many fingers am i holding in front of your eyes? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: very good. gregory, your first vacuum.
>> hoover convertible. [ cheers and applause ] . >> gregory, your second vacuum cleaner. >> hoover elite. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: your next vacuum cleaner, gregory? >> hoover simply duster. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was an easy one. >> gregory, we've gotten a new vacuum cleaner. i don't want to give it away. this is your next vacuum cleaner. you ready? >> yeah. [ screaming ] >> jimmy: do you know that one? >> no. >> jimmy: how about this one?
that's a leaf blower. gregory -- try that one there. >> here we go. you're still blind folded, right? >> yeah. >> here we go. >> oreck. >> jimmy: what? >> xl. >> jimmy: gregory, you have a birthday next month. what do you want for your birthday? >> a dyson. you don't have one. that's like the rolls royce of vacuum cleaners, isn't it? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: take off your blind fold there. we've got you a dyson vacuum
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echoes knocking on locked doors ♪ all the laughter from before i'd rather live out on the street ♪ ♪ than in this haunts memory ♪ i've called the movers, called the maids we'll try to exorcise this place ♪ ♪ this used to be a funhouse but now it's full of evil clowns ♪ ♪ it's time to start the countdown i'm gonna burn it down down ♪ ♪ this used to be a funhouse but now it's full of evil clowns ♪ i'm gonna burn it down down
down ♪ nine eight seven six five four three two one fun ♪ ♪ i'm crawling through the doggy door my key don't fit my life no more ♪ ♪ i'll change the drapes i'll break the plates ♪ i'll find a new place burn this sucker down ♪ ♪ do, do, do, do, do, do ♪ do, do, do, do, do ♪ do, do, do, do, do ♪ do, do, do, do, do ♪ this used to be a funhouse but now it's an evil clowns ♪ ♪ it's time to start the
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