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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 25, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EDT

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tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> for the first time ever, the u.s. men's soccer team beat mexico in mexico. and americans reacted by not caring whatsoever. >> jennifer garner. >> how many times a day can you say penis? there's a limit. >> a lot. i say it a lot. >> yeah. >> comedian paul scheer. music from the fixx. and "unnecessary censorship." >> it sounds like you all
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jennifer garner. comedian paul scheer. and music from the fixx. with cleto and the cletones. and now, once again, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, that's very nice. [ cheers and applause ] hi there, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. welcome to -- welcome to hot in filthy hollywood. we're glad to have you here.
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there's a lot going on here this week. the kids went back to school in l.a. shark week which traditionally is followed by nobody in the ocean week here in l.a. [ laughter ] saturday is the last day of shark week. i'm having a bunch of -- i do this every year, i'm having friends over to the house to eat a sure surfer. [ laughter ] i've actually been watching some shark week on discovery channel. they say if current trends continue, sharks could become extinct within our lifetime. instead of shark week, we would just have week. the main thing, they've been doing shark week for 25 years. i haven't d cable for 25 years. here is something i never knew. ditd you know discovery channel holds auditions for shark week? they relosed some edreleased s audition tapes. it's interesting to see. >> let's get mike here, slow. slow, ominous. stalking your prey. i mean, let's pick up the pace. this is shark week, not shark month. you're seeing the fish pass by. you're finding nemo.
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this is what you do. too close, too close! did i ask you to bite the cage? no! i want to see -- i want you to work together! this is very nice. i love this. the sound guy's in. somebody get him out of there. get him out -- oh, that worked. okay. >> shark week. >> jimmy: so there you have it. [ applause ] a videotape of the audition. i promise. you know, there are only -- only -- there are 82 days left until the presidential election. according to the major national polls, president obama and mitt romney are neck and neck. but a new survey from "usa today" said president obama is way ahead among unlikely voters. among people who don't plan to vote, obama leads romney 43% to
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20%. romney still holds a slight lead among dead voters, but -- [ laughter ] why are they polling voters who aren't going to vote? i can't vote. i'm too busy participating in surveys like this one. the people who give the surveys are disillusioned with politics. some of them don't have time. some are babies who legally can't vote. mitt romney continues to field questions about his history of paying taxes. so far, he's released his tax return from 2010 and he released an estimate of what he paid in 2011. but that's it. this morning in south carolina, he told reporters, i went back and i looked at my taxes and over the past ten years i never paid less than 13%. so -- wait, what? 13? there are kids with lemonade stands paying more than 13%. if you tip 13% in a restaurant, they'd probably spit in your food the next time. 13% is not something mitt romney should be bragging about.
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something mitt romney's accountant should be bragging about, certainly. romney is also in hot water with toddlers right now. he said in an interview yesterday one of the ways he wants to reduce government spending is by cutting federal funding to pbs. which, of course, makes "sesame the strange thing is the amount we spent on pbs is about .001% of the federal budget. i think you'd spend more money by cutting squeezable ketchup from the congressional cafeteria. his comments have upset a lot of people. he clarified the statement, he said he doesn't want to kill "sesame street," he just wanted to spend less money on it. presumably by farming s ing som the work out overreceives, wh s presume would look like this. >> hello, oscar the grouch here. i would like to provide you with
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excellent service today. >> yes, i'd like assistance? >> last name, please? >> no last name. >> sir, i can't hear you correctly. is it possible that you're speaking into a banana? >> i'm afraid i can't hear you for the reason i'm speaking into a banana. >> jimmy: it's still funny, it may be funnier -- [ cheers and applause ] so, that's -- hey, on the topic of jobs going elsewhere, some bad news for the city of los angeles. this year, only 2 of the 23 new one-hour dramas being made for television will be shot here in l.a. one of them is the show "vegas" ironically. [ laughter ] all of a sudden, l.a. is like mary j. blige, no drama. [ laughter ] too urban? studios are moving production out of l.a. because the tax incentives are better in other places. that's bad. it acts so many jobs, acting jobs, boob jobs. especially the boob jobs. fortunately, 14 of the 16 kardashian shows are still shot
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here in los angeles, so, we should be fine. [ applause ] speaking of acting, gold-medal winning swimmer ryan lochte is parlaying his olympic fame to break into hollywood. he said in a few interviews he would like to be the next bachelor. which i think would be great. and he just landed a role in "90210," which is apparently still on. while, you would might expect much from him, but i think this kid's got what i call "it." >> i think the whole thing memorizing lines trying to stay them and do movement and all of that, that was hard. don't worry, the ropes course is a piece of cake. >> that's scary. >> yeah, seriously. i would love to race boats on that. >> wait, didn't your mom say you didn't have time for a girlfriend. >> i don't, but does she look unhappy. >> i'm so happy. >> they're very cute, i have to give them that. >> yeah. >> but i want to get to know some of them before i do anything. >> jimmy: he reminds me of a
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very young, very horny, very shirtless meryl streep, doesn't he? [ laughter ] why was his shirt off through the whole thing? i guess why not? here's an interesting new business venture that's getting a lot of attention. it's called the "who's your daddy truck." this is a truck that drives around new york selling dna tests to people, primarily fathers who are wondering whether their kid is really their kid or not. it's perfect for people who love the maury povich show but wish it was on wheels. the dna costs between $299 and $575, which is pricey, but a small price to pay to get rid of your unwanted child. they could combine this truck with "cash cab" and if you guess who the father is, you win money or something. or maybe they should just follow flavor flav around. that would be most lucrative. facebook stock hit an all-time low. when facebook stock went on the market, it was priced at $38 a share. that's when i wisely snapped it up.
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now, shares worth $19.87. market analysts have said we're not posting enough pictures of our cats sleeping on facebook. a lot of people are upset about this. some investors are suing faybook, claiming they were misled. their ceo is a kid in a hoodie, how misled could we have been? let's be honest. facebook says they plan to make up the losses very soon by selling all of our personal information to everyone. this is great. this is security camera footage from china. this guy allegedly demanded protection money from a store owner, but the store owner refused to pay, so, the guy went outside and popped a tire on the guy's delivery truck. unfortunately for him, when he punctured the tire, it blew his shirt right off. let's show that in slow motion. because, you see -- here he is. i don't know what he used to
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puncture the tire, but the force was so great that it undressed him. [ laughter ] one more time. there it goes, and there, no more shirt. maybe that's what happened to ryan lochte during the interview. here's a point of much national pride or at least it should be. for the first time ever the u.s. men's soccer team beat mexico in mexico. and americans reacted by not caring whatsoever. [ laughter ] the u.s. -- don't patronize them. the u.s. and mexico have been playing each other for 75 years, the u.s. has never won a game on mexican soil until yesterday. we found the one thing they loved the most and we took it from them. i'm sorry, guillermo, we found both the things they loved the most and we took it from them. and mexico continues to maintain its other 75-year streak, by having the worst candy in north america, so -- i saw something interesting on "good morning america," there's a sailor from scotland, a guy named george edwards. he was on the show.
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he claims he has a new photograph of the loch ness monster, which is here. we have -- yeah, that's it. that's it, all right. it's either -- it could be a rock or a seal or -- can we zoom in on that? it could be a dirty bowling pin. [ laughter ] but the guy says it's the best picture ever of the loch ness monster. you know, it made sense that no one could get a picture of big foot or the loch ness monster back when we didn't have digital cameras but now, everyone has an hd movie studio in their phone. and don't you think if there really was a giant endangered sea creature living in that lake, the chinese wouldave sweeped in and eaten it already, ground it up for some sort of sexual deviance? based on my analysis, you can see it bears a very strong resemblance to bob's big boy. [ applause ] speaking of bob's big boy --
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here's some breakfast news you should pay attention to, because it means we're probably going to die. new study from the university of western ontario has determined that eating an egg yolk is almost as bad for your arteries as smoking a cigarette. they say that eggs and the yolk make the plaque in your arteries build up, which increases the risk of heart attack and stroke. it's hard to believe eggs are as bad for you as cigarettes. experts are especially concerned about the effect on children. in fact, the cdc released this video that will hopefully do a lot to educate our young people about the changer dangers of eg. >> hey, kid, get over here. get the stuff. want a bite? ah -- >> i don't know. >> come on. have an egg. don't you want to be cool? >> yeah, what are you? chicken?
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>> bock bock bock bock -- come on. there you go. >> watch out, kids! >> whoa! >> who are you? >> i'm yolky the dino, and i'm here to warn you about the dangers of eggs. did you know that downing one unborn chicken baby raises your cholesterol and placou at a higher risk of heart attack d >> like my grandpa mike? >> yeah, just like your grandpa so remember, kids -- ♪ ♪ say no to eggs ♪ say no to eggs ♪ you got to pass on the yolk ♪ that ain't no joke ♪ just say no to eggs woo! >> oy.
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i did what i came to do, so -- you know, beat him up, whatever you were going to do. just don't eat eggs. bye. >> brought to you by oatmeal. >> jimmy: all right. and one more tihing. it is thursday night and it is time for our weeklto the fc where we bleep things whether they need it or not. it's this week in "unnecessary censorship." >> paul ryan talked about how his kids love carnival rides but he also talked about [ bleep ], something he loves to do. >> we have inside information about how mitt romney [ bleep ] paul ryan. >> i called paul and i said, i'd like to [ bleep ] you on sunday and we [ bleep ] [ bleep ] and made it happen. >> and some sad news about a former cast mate of john that voe that has died. >> i apologize for sucking a lot [ bleep ]. >> i saw you taking a picture of
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you [ bleep ] a rye n sir us are. >> i am into farm animals though. >> this is big. big [ bleep ] contest! i need your help. >> and yeah, it sounds like you all are pretty [ bleep ] up. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. paul scheer is with us. we have music from the fixx. and we'll be right back with jennifer garner, so stick around. ♪ [ male announcer ] start with a simple idea. think. drink coffee. hatch a design. kill the design. design something totally original. do it again. that's good. kick out the committees. call in the engineers. call in the car guys. call in the nerds. build a prototype.
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mom! look what i found in the shed! no! no! no! ♪ were you guys just making out in here? what? no! really, cold cuts from a package? yes. [ male announcer ] it's nice to finally say "yes." new oscar mayer selects. it's yes food. ♪[music plays]♪ ♪[music plays] ♪[music plays] >> jimmy: hi there, welcome
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back. tonight on the show, a very funny actor and comedian who has a new show called "ntsf:sd:suv" on adult swim. paul scheer is with us. that's the name of the show. [ applause ] catchy. and then with music from this album called "beautiful friction," the fixx from the bud light stage. the fixx. we have a good lineup for you next week. robert pattinson, kyra sedgwick, tom arnold, gordon ramsay, jordin sparks, ashley greene, from "pawn stars" rick and corey harrison. we'll have music from andy grammer, polica and josh doyle. so please join us for that. our first guest tonight is a golden globe-winning actress with a new baby and a husband that would make any talk show host green and red with envy and rage. her new movie is called "the odd life of timothy green." it is in theaters now. please say hello to jennifer garner. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> hi. >> jimmy: what are you hiding from me? >> i brought you a little something. >> jimmy: how is my ben? >> it's been tough. it's been tough at my house. >> jimmy: why? >> i'm thrilled to hear about your engagement. congratulations. >> jimmy: oh, thank you very much. [ applause ] that's nice, thank you. >> i like moll little very much. i think it's a beautiful thing, but -- not so much for ben. >> jimmy: oh, is he taking this -- >> you have made a promise that you are not living up to. [ laughter ] and while that's fine by me, i find a little odd to have to have this conversation with you, but this is who i left at home. >> jimmy: oh, no, oh, no, my poor baby. oh, no, no, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know -- [ applause ] it was a different time. and we gave it a -- we gave it a real good shot. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i can't help but feel like you came between us a
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little bit with all the kids you keep having. [ laughter ] and quite frankly, our love isn't legal in the state of california. there's not a whole lot we can do. it was ben's 40th birthday yesterday. >> it was. >> jimmy: can i keep that? would you mind? >> yes. >> jimmy: thank you. >> benjamin is 40. >> jimmy: did you get him anything? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: i bought him a car. >> did you? i bought him a helicopter. but anyway, that's nice. [ laughter ] no, we had a little dinner. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, we did. it wasn't -- it was nice. >> jimmy: it was not a big deal? >> well, no -- >> jimmy: okay. >> because -- i thought -- >> jimmy: oh, no. >> that it could be cool to have a big 39th birthday. >> jimmy: right, you had a big party last year. >> we had a big party for his 39th birthday. it was big and fancy and he said it was like a wedding, whatever. it was a big party. and i thought, well, that's so cool. all anybody said to me, oh, is it his 40th birthday?
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i said, no, no, it's his 39th, isn't that awesome? and no one got it at all. and now this year when it is time for a big party, i'm just like, well, no, we did that. i don't know what to tell you? so, you know, he's fine. >> jimmy: he didn't care that much. he didn't want any gifts. did the kids get him something? >> oh, sure, yeah. they made little things out of clay and painted them. >> jimmy: oh, those are the worst gifts, yeah. >> they are, because you can't throw them away. we have hundreds. i mean, to the point where the spoon rest in the kitchen is, like, world's best dad and he doesn't even know we have a stove. you're stuck with hundreds and hundreds of -- >> jimmy: the kids made him a spoon rest, huh? >> sure. what else are they going to do? how many muck mugs -- his cere bowl, it's like, "i love dad." >> jimmy: you feel like you're going to hurt their self-esteem if you throw it away. you can't throw it away and yet, eventually, you're going to. >> never.
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[ laughter ] never, never. >> jimmy: eventually, they're going to wind up with it and they're going to say what am i going to do with this crap i made when i was 4 years old? are you enjoying having a baby boy? >> yes, i do. >> jimmy: i'm surprised you didn't name the boy after me. that's a little weird. >> it was a fight, a struggle in my house, but i won and he was named after ben's grandfather. >> jimmy: okay. all right. all right. and he's doing well, i presume? >> he's great. he is. we're used to it now. there's another one, and he's a boy. >> jimmy: is he working yet, because like the smith kids, jada and will's kids, they worked right out of the womb. they're already -- [ laughter ] >> no, my lazy kids. they haven't done anything. >> jimmy: do your girls like him? >> they're very into him. they are so -- yes, they love having a little brother. everything about it. >> jimmy: it seems kind of perfect you have two girls and then a little boy. >> right, sisters and then -- >> jimmy: yeah. and then there's this kind of -- >> yeah, every time you change
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the diaper the first few weeks, it's like, oh, yeah, right. you're a boy. there is something else going on there. wasn't expecting that. >> jimmy: have they noticed that? >> oh, yes. in a very, you know, sweetly curious 3-year-old -- >> jimmy: right, i would think so, yeah. >> but they help a lot. >> jimmy: a lot? >> uh-huh. so one day -- i can't believe i'm going to tell you this, but one day, at bedtime, they have to clean their rooms, whatever. ben came in, said, there's a lot of junk in here, let's clean up this junk. they're like, that's what mom says. he was like, what do you mean? and they're like, your penis. he was like, can i see you in the kitchen? are you teaching our children to call it -- >> i said how many times a day can you say penis? there's a limit. >> jimmy: a lot. i say it a lot. >> yeah.
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you have to call it something. >> jimmy: junk does seem like a weird thing to teach the kids. >> you got to clean up your junk. >> jimmy: you got to be careful. cleaning up the junk. throwing the junk out is dangerous also. >> that's true. >> jimmy: i would imagine you'd be a very good kid. i've seen your kids in action, they seem to be very smart kids and you seem like you're a great mom. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: you do seem like a great mom. especially in the supermarket tabloids, when the scumbags are chasing you around, it seems like you're very protective of your kids. >> what are you going to do. but i was a very goodie -- >> jimmy: i have a photograph of you. tell me where this happened. [ laughter ] >> wow, i like you a little bit less now. [ laughter ] this is the gw high school in charleston, west virginia. go patriots. this is actually the pep band. i was in the marching band for
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many, many years. shotout to you. i feel you. and, yeah. i was so enthusiastic about band that i went to the prince principal of the school, i said, hey, i think the basketball team needs a pep band. >> jimmy: really, you started the pep band? >> i started the pep band. and he gave me $50 for band music. and we got "hang on sloopy" and -- >> jimmy: what other songs did you guys play? do you remember? >> oh, we just played a lot of "you belong to the city." that's a good sax solo. >> jimmy: i'd like to show you something here. this is a photograph of me just before high school. >> no! >> jimmy: we're like the same guy. >> we're like the same person. >> jimmy: yeah. and, of course, my jordache jeans. >> oh, wait a minute. >> jimmy: bring that back to ben. >> i'm going to take this to ben. he'll be so happy. like you ended up with the same
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person. >> jimmy: there you go. jennifer garner is here. we'll be right back. [ snoring ] ♪ [ snoring ] [ male announcer ] introducing zzzquil sleep-aid. [ snoring ] [ snoring ] [ male announcer ] it's not for colds, it's not for pain, it's just for sleep. [ snoring ] [ male announcer ] because sleep is a beautiful thing. [ birds chirping ] introducing zzzquil, the non-habit forming sleep-aid from the makers of nyquil. ♪ can your moisturizer do that? [ female announcer ] dermatologist recommended aveeno has an oat formula, now proven to build a moisture reserve,
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>> jimmy: hi there. we are back with jennifer garner. musician, pep band leader. and this new movie is very cute. i watched it today, actually. >> did you like it? >> jimmy: i liked it. >> did you like it? how could you not like it? >> jimmy: that kid is so cute in the movie.
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>> yeah, c.j. adams. he played timothy green. it's really -- the whole movie is really on this kid's shoulders and he never really done something this big before and the director kept saying, okay, all of us can go down, me, you, joel, who plays my husband, he's amazing, all of us, but we cannot let anything happen to c.j. he is the movie and he really is. he kind of is like timothy. >> jimmy: we have a clip here. the idea of the movie is very strange. >> yes. >> jimmy: you're a married couple. >> yes. we're a married couple. we are infertile. we can't have children, and we want one so badly that we manifest the exact child that we wished for with a little something extra. >> jimmy: and i don't want to ruin it by telling too much, but he kind of grows? >> yes. he does not come from my tummy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and this is -- this clip is the first time, his name is timothy green. it's the first time you're meeting him, and again, the
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movie is called "the odd life of timothy green." >> there's something you need to see. >> hi. well, look who cleaned up good. >> huh? are those -- >> yes. >> please don't ask about my leaves. >> okay. >> no. >> jimmy: there you go. he's got leaves on his legs. [ applause ] he's got a leaf covering up his junk, the whole thing. were your real kids jealous of your relationship with your movie child? >> they didn't realize how much i loved him. >> jimmy: oh, they didn't? >> no -- no, no, yeah, no. they -- no, they didn't really get it. >> jimmy: will you have more
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kids? >> maybe in movies. >> jimmy: okay, not in real life? >> i think we're good. >> jimmy: because ben is so fertile. he's so incredibly fertile. >> he is mighty. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. please give ben my love. >> nice to see you. and congratulations. >> jimmy: thank you very much. the movie is called "the odd life of timothy green." it is in theaters now. we'll be right back with paul scheer. ,, hey!
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[ male announcer ] ask your veterinarian >> jimmy: well, hello. we're back. still to come, music from the fixx. you know our next guest from "human giant," "the league" and even "yo gab ba gabba." his current project, "ntsf:sd:suv" is not a license plate. it is a show that airs thursday nights at 12:15 a.m. on adult
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swim. please welcome paul scheer. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how's it going? >> very good. very good. >> jimmy: were you in a high school band or anything like that? >> no, i was not coordinated to be in band or sports or anything. i just went home. >> jimmy: where did you grow up? >> i grew up in new york. >> jimmy: okay. >> yeah. so i went to school in long island, it was a catholic school and very strict schools. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you have to wear a uniform. and all that stuff? >> i always had to wear a uniform, there was one time when we came back from summer break where we could wear whatever we wanted, as long as it was from a character of a book we read over our summer reading. >> jimmy: really? >> the first day back, dress up however you wanted. i was like, mom, i'm going to dress up like christopher columbus. she's like, great idea. i've got the best outfit for you. all of a sudden, i'm wearing a gold medallion. i have socks pulled up to my knees. pants rolled up. i have a hat on.
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i don't even know if this is what christopher columbus looked like. i looked like kind of a reject dutch paint boy, you know. just sitting there ridiculous. i was like, mom, i look good. she's like, you look amazing. i'm like, thanks, mom, first day of school, i'm going to nail it. [ laughter ] get on the bus -- and then everything changed. >> jimmy: right there? >> dressed up like christopher columbus, and everybody else is dressed up as marty mcfly from the novelization of "back to the future." they're in jeans. there i am with my feather coming out of my cap. and i make that walk to the back of the bus knowing that this year will never be good again. when you're a kid, there's nowhere to go. i'm locked in, i'm there for eight hours. i'm committed to this. even like, i'll take off the gold chain. no. and i'm carrying like i'm a pimp.
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but yeah, no, it was an embarrassing -- >> jimmy: it's your mother's fault, it really is. >> yeah. >> jimmy: she should have known better than that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: does she show bad judgment in general? >> my mom -- i don't think that she tries to show bad judgment, but she definitely does. >> jimmy: she does. >> she comes out here about once a year. and she goes, honey, i want to take you to test drive a corvette. i was like, okay, that's not 100% my thing, but yeah, your plan -- >> jimmy: why does she want to do this? >> i have no idea. i don't know who my mom thinks i am. but every gift i've ever gotten, every gift is different than who i am. she's like, you're going to love this, you love cars? no. but all right. so, we're driving, i thought we were going to go to a racetrack or something. we pulled into a 7-eleven parking lot. i go, what is this? is this where we're going? yeah, the guy on facebook said meet here.
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the guy on facebook? yeah, i found this on facebook. we're going to test drive a corvette. and i'm like, all right. all of a sudden, here comes this corvette, just into a 7-eleven parking lot. out pops this guy sleeveless, bandana, and he's like, hey, you guys want to take a ride. my mom's like he does, he does. i'm like, no, i don't. i don't. >> jimmy: only two seats. >> that's right. but also, my mom is just giving me away to a stranger. it's everything you're not supposed to do. i got into a car with a stranger at a 7-eleven parking lot. my mom's like, go, you'll love it. i get in this car, with this guy, and it's awkward, because -- this guy is obsessed with telescopes. wants to tell me all about his telescopes. >> jimmy: great. >> we're in this car, he's like, man, i can't really open her up because i'll get a ticket. i'm like, can we go somewhere to go fast? he's like, na, we'll just drive around the block a couple times.
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that's the test drive? sitting next to you while you play soft rock on your thing and tell you -- >> jimmy: so you didn't even get to touch the vehicle? >> no, i could barely touch it. he was like, oh, be careful, because the upholstery. i'm sitting there awkward and he's like, pretty sweet ride, yeah? yes, i guess if i was driving it would be sweet. and then we pulled back into the parking lot and he's like, hey, man, you want to take a picture with the car? i'm like, no. note really. he's like, come on, take a picture with the car. and i go, all right, and he goes, well, give it some attitude. i go, i don't want to give it attitude. give the peace sign, get down on your knees like this is your car. and then -- there it is. [ applause ] >> jimmy: oh, you do have attitude there. i mean, you really -- >> you know what i love about this picture, too? in the background, it says, like, no preschool parking
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there. i look super cool. >> jimmy: that's attitude. you know, you park right where you're not supposed to. >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: your mom is quite a planner, i guess. tell me about the show, first of all, the title is ridiculous. >> yes, it's "ntsf:sd:suv" and it kind of makes fun of those shows, "csi," "ncis," and there's a show about a girl that just remembers. she goes to a crime scene, oh, i remember that. >> jimmy: what is that show? >> i think it's called "the forgotten." that's totally true. so i'm obsessed with shows like that, especially "hawaii five-0." one scene, they're surfing and then they're putting their finger in a bullet hole. it's only 11 minutes so hopefully you don't get too bored.
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and we've had, like, amazing guests on the show. >> jimmy: who has been on the show? >> we had ray liotta on the show. >> jimmy: wow. that is amazing. >> obviously, he's the good fella, you love that, but he got to the set and he didn't know what he was there for, i don't think. he was reading through the script and he goes, hey, hey, what is this, how come this is only 15 pages here? we go, well, it's an 11-minute show. he goes, you guys need more pages. actually, you guys need more minutes. he's like, you need more minutes. what's next, are you going to be on the radio? and i go, oh, maybe. he's like, i'm just joking. if you have a radio show, i'll do it. i'm like, thanks, but we don't. we don't. you can do it. then he gets on set. he's playing this guy who thinks he's jason bourn. he passed out for a year, and he thinks in a year he
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has special abilities now. so he's constantly trying to put people in head locks and stuff like that. he tackled one of our extras on the set to the ground. the guy was just walking across the set and he's like yeah and throws him to the ground. i'm like, did he kill him? it wasn't scripted. it wasn't scripted at all. he decided he was going to be really physical. he throws the guy to the ground. we all look at the guy, he gets up and he's shocked but he can't say anything because it's ray liotta. >> jimmy: right, yeah, what are you going to do? >> i got beat up by ray liotta. feather in my christopher columbus hat. >> jimmy: you know who would be a good guest? the guy with the corvette. >> the corvette whisper. >> jimmy: what time is the show on, because it's 12:15 a.m., does that mean it's thursday night or friday morning? >> it's between thursday and friday. >> jimmy: so it's on right now, then? >> exactly. 12:15. so finish watching this and go over. >> jimmy: you better watch quick now because it's only 15 minutes long. well, there you go, paul scheer.
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the show is called "ntsf:sd:suv" airs thursday nights at 12:15 a.m. on adult swim. and "the league" comes back to fx in october. we'll be right back with music from the fixx. ,, [ female announcer ] with the 2-in-1 swiffer sweeper,
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you so got it made. >> jimmy: their new cd is called "beautiful friction." here with the song "anyone else," the fixx. ♪
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♪ lack of words lack of reach words are weapons when the powerless speak ♪ ♪ it's a small game with a big production a fools parade overblown ♪ ♪ when will we know what we should seek what we've sown is what we'll reap ♪ ♪ open doors random keys when we find ourselves where shall we be ♪ ♪ little knowledge headless state a ticking bomb as we debate ♪ ♪ when will know what we should see for what we've sown you know we'll reap ♪
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♪ when will we know ♪ ♪ running mind howling banshee no more a fugitive than you or i ♪ ♪ the jealous cursed crashed and burned the unaccountable way to die ♪ ♪ when will know what we should see for what we've sown you know we'll reap ♪ ♪ when will we know what we have lost we already know ♪ ♪ i can only be myself i can't be anyone else
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but me ♪ ♪ please don't need anyone else ♪ ♪ oh please ♪ when will we know ♪ when will we know what we have caused the new child's reign is it already lost ♪ ♪ when will we know what we have caused the new child's reign is it already lost
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♪ when will we know ♪ when will we know ♪ when will we know [ male announcer ] with ultra-filtered water
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but hurry this incredible offer ends october 10th.
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garner. thanks to paul scheer. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. their new album "beautiful friction," is out now. playing us off the air with the classic "red skies," you can see the full performance and a bonus song at once again, the fixx. good night! ♪ ♪ ♪ red skies at night red skies at night oh, oh, oh, oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ red skies at night red skies at night


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