tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 8, 2013 11:35pm-12:35am EDT
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a shame none of them will ever get to see that. it's dr. am. hey, the new $100 bill went into circulation today. make sure to burn all your old $100 bills. this is the new bill. part of the reason they updated it, is to stay ahead of the counterfeits produced in north korea. apparently they produce, tens of millions worth of counterfeit bills. this was number of security features. hold it up to the light. a watermark of benjamin franklin. and a naked lady on the left-hand side. this is cool in four exciting new flavors, grape, bubblegum, root beer, lemon berry squeeze. the most technologically advanced piece of paper you will ever cram into a stripper's underpants. [ applause ] the folks at fox news are on the forefront of technology right now. yesterday they unveiled what they called the fox news deck.
a futuristic newsroom full of giant touch screens, fancy gadgets. looks like what happens when a guy gets divorced and goes nuts at best buy. shepherd smith showed the set off yesterday. he had trouble containing his excitement. >> as you can see, the, the -- it, it totally pummels through the gates. >> there is not a safety fence there or anything. >> no, no. they're looking into that. in the meantime he is held on suspicion of manslaughter. the latest we have heard. >> eight people dead. dozens hurt. these things are fun to work with aren't they? >> yes, they're cool. >> general rule of thumb, a news reporter try not to say eight people dead and fun in the same sentence. while new technology seems unnecessary to me, i was impressed by the shep smith lightsaber. >> it takes a lot of tools. one new one we hatch gotten. this is a piece of equipment installed never used in broadcast television before. it allows you to, a video wall.
>> jimmy: the force is strong with that one indeed. it is. [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is -- this is a great time of year for sports fans. dodgers going to the national league championship series. we have baseball playoffs. we have hockey. nba preseason started. of course, football. carrie underwood does the theme song for "sunday night football" for 20 years, hank williams jr. did the theme for "monday night football" and now country superstar brad paisley recorded the theme song for football on tuesday. brad is a friend of ours. he let us world premiere his new song here tonight. enjoy! ♪ well it's tuesday night and i'm ready to go the wings are high and the beer is going to flow
hanging with my bros we're all fired up to sit down and watch a game ♪ ♪ but there is one little thing i didn't get right there ain't no football on tuesday night ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ derek and wayne, they're not amused after clicking around dazed and confused there are plenty of games on saturday and sunday again on thursday don't forget monday fhigh school football friday night lights but there ain't no football on tuesday night ♪ ♪ brad, what the -- are we going to watch ♪ >> a whole world of tv on tuesday nights. ♪ toddlers and tiaras say yes to the dress irish mafia, punk stars tlc and storage wars two men versus food
access hollywood rizzoli and ales the price is right because there ain't no football on tuesday night ♪ >> for wednesday either! ♪ >> yeah, i know. give me my guitar back. and the hat. let's do that again. >> jimmy: hey, we are going to take a break. when we come back i will travel with the guys behind this video. ahhh! >> jimmy: ha-ha-ha.
so, i love this video so much. and they're from little rock, arkansas. there they are. we are going to talk to the guys when we coat gak. -- when weep get back. so come back, let's make a night of it! they're spicy? [ shrieks ] he was like, "i can't feel the burn," with his tears. mmm! i hate puppets! i need a moustache so bad! [ deep inhale, trumpet sounds ] ♪ go get 'em allllll and watch me chewin' ♪ you want some more of their wings, yeah? yeah, 'cause he smashed 'em in the door. man, that guy did it! you did it. [ male announcer ] players can't stop talking about mcdonald's new mighty wings. he's gonna take my mighty wings! no, he won't. ♪ aw aw aw aw awww [ male announcer ] there's something for everyone to love at mcdonald's. i mean this is party chicken. for everyone to love at mcdonald's. at the power of nutrition. triple nutrition conditioner from garnier fructis. with 3 weightless oils...
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stuck with a load of concrete dangling 40 stories high. there it is. streets had to be closed leading to gridlock. the crane used in construction of a luxury high rise going up near carnegie hall. and yes it was the same site where cranes collapsed and dangled dangerously during super storm sandy all most a ye all m ago. >> here we go again the i hope they will fix that crane this time. >> jimmy: did that scare you? you know, we showed that at rehearsal. it scared everyone. so, see we had some cameras pointed at you guysen the audience here. did we get any good reactions. let's see what we got here. okay. all right, nothing to crazy there. let's go to the other side. anything on the other side? no, nothing. you [ bleep ]. i'm so, did i just -- i just cursed?
all right. you are a lot less jumpy than our staff. you should have seen this guy, stage manager, alex went through the roof when he saw that. all right. you know before the break i showed you a very funny video. workers at a liquor store almost gave their boss a heart attack by doing this. ♪ >> ah! >> jimmy: ha-ha-ha. beautiful. that guy that got scared is paul lewis. the night manager at colonial wines and spirits in little rock, arkansas. paul and employees are with us. jt and jake.
paul, you tolerate this even though you are the boss there? >> yeah, it's quite, quite invigorating you might say. it's pretty amazing feeling. >> jimmy: jake you were the master mind of this. and how long have you been doing this sort of thing to paul? >> we've been scaring paul for about five years now. and it's the new blood and new idea. here we have a pretty famous video on our hand now. >> jimmy: how many years do you think you have shaved off paul'? >> no telling. no telling. >> jimmy: j.t., you jumped out of the box. how long were you in the box by the way? >> it wasn't long at all. we had it planned pretty well. we took a few hours beforehand to laying every out and planning it to getting it all set. >> jimmy: all on the clock i assume? >> yes. >> jimmy: of course. let's watch paul's reaction again together. see.
it is a thing of beauty. the arms. he looks like a baby teradactyl being born. have you tried to make your scared face less hilarious? >> just a reflex. i can't control it. >> jimmy: what other pranks or tricks have you played on paul? >> rubber snakes. live crickets. thrown over his shoulder. stuff as easy as jumping out from around the corner. >> the basics is what you get become to? paul, do you ever retaliate is? there every any -- retribution on your part? >> no. every time i try to scare one of these kids they just look at me like what's wrong with you? >> jimmy: okay. ha-ha-ha. you are owe skay with this? >> yeah, allen good fun. doesn't bother me. i get a kick out of it too. >> jimmy: i want you to know i approve out the pranks and even more of a boss who has a good enough sense of humor to allow this to go on.
[ applause ] thank you for joining us. jake and j.t. and paul from little rock, arkansas. we should all, let's, together look back on this video when they ultimately kill paul. ha-ha-ha.ny it is then. tonight, we have a good one for you, emily vancamp. is with us. and then we will be right back with sir elton john. so stick around! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ birds chirping ]
>> jimmy: tonight on the program from "revenge" and emily vancamp is with us. she's nice and you'll definitely want to join us tomorrow night our guest for the hour will be the one and only kanye west. kanye and i had a disagreement a couple of weeks ago and so we will attempt to hash that out tomorrow. and on thursday owen wilson will be here, from the la clippers chris paul, blake griffin, and deandre jordan, and music from panic at the disco. join us then. our first guest is an oscar, grammy and tony-winning singer, songwriter, composer, and philanthropist who has recorded some of the greatest songs produced on planet earth. this is his 31st album it's called "the diving board" please welcome elton john.
♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] how are you? it's a real troot eat to have y here. thank you for coming. i like the shoes. >> i got them from judy garland. they're nice. >> jimmy: if there is trouble. you:00 the you are gone. >> could have used them last week. is he really coming on tomorrow? wow that should be fun. >> jimmy: do you know what happened? is that on your radar? >> i do know what happened. >> jimmy: will you come back and help me. >> i would wear a suit of armor. i love him. i played on his record. he is a genius. >> jimmy: put in a good word for me, will you?
>> i will, yeah. >> jimmy: congratulations, do you care you are getting great reviews for this album? >> of course i do. i have been around. it any nice to still get great reviews and put out a record that you really like. yeah, i am very excited. >> jimmy: it is interesting to me that you do pay attention to that stuff with cat rear ththe . do you remember bad reviews, great reviews? >> first time i came to america, i got a review from "los angeles times" that made my career in america. i never look back. i always look forward. it's nice to get them. but good not to pay too much attention to them. some people think you are awful. some people think you are good. you can't please everybody. better not to, to take notice. it is nice when you do get them. >> jimmy: you made the album with your lyricist? >> yes, together 46 years. >> jimmy: everybody knows, familiar with your work the arrangement you have. he writes the lyrics, you write
the music? >> i do. >> jimmy: you despise one another? >> we despise one another. well, i'm gay, you see. >> jimmy: that's a spoiler alert. >> yeah, i know. and you know, i am so happy you got some one else on the show tonight as well. >> jimmy: i like the word play. yeah, it's nice. speaking of being gay, congratulations on that, i don't think i ever mentioned that. >> thank you, it was hard. and it still is. >> jimmy: you and your partner, david, god bless him. you have ben en together. >> 20 years. >> jimmy: are you going to take add van j advantage and get married? >> if the laws are being made for people look us, 30, 40 years ago it was hard to come out of
the closet. in england we had civil partnership which we did in 2005. and that made a huge difference. a commitment to your relationship. i didn't thing it would. it did. really helped our relationship. and if the laws are going to help us again, then, as a famous gay couple we will do it. and it's our duty to do it to make sure everyone knows this is something that is a gift from, you know we never dreamed we would ever get. >> jimmy: that is not very romantic, it is admirable. you say to david this is our duty we must do it. >> no, the first time we had a big reception. a small -- small -- kind of -- you know, the vows were taken. just eight people. and this one will be the same. i don't want a big flash wedding i've just want, it would be nice to do that, having, being unromantic when i say it. when it happens it will be an incredibly moving occasion. >> jimmy: i would loike to be oe of the eight at the wedding.
any chance? cater do whatever i must. >> you can itch you want. >> jimmy: i would look to be there, yes, yes. i would imagine. >> of course i do. >> jimmy: registered for gifts? >> of course. k mart. target. >> jimmy: i know you love shopping. when you shop do you go to the store? do you go to the store? buy things online. >> i deon't do anything online. i never downloaded anything in my life. i don't have a phone. i don't twitter. i don't -- >> jimmy: let's go back to you not having a phone. you don't have a phone? >> no. >> jimmy: wow. >> my life is fabulous. nobody is ringing me two times a minute. >> jimmy: do you have a guy with a fen that follo-- a phone that you around. hold tight your ear. >> jimmy: that's how you know you are powerful you. don't need to have a telephone. >> i couldn't bear to have a
phone. i have an ipad for the kids. keep skyping them if i'm not with them. >> jimmy: wow that is something. do the kids steal the ipad when you let it go? >> 2 years 9 months he has his own ipad. >> jimmy: how old were you when you start playeding piano? >> 3. >> just watch out guys. >> jimmy: do you play any instruments beside the piano? >> no. >> jimmy: no? just wondered, thought i will pick up the guitar. >> i have small hand. tried to play the guitar. i can barely get an octave. most pianists have long fingers. i have little fingers. they have done the job well. they're very worn down now. >> jimmy: from all the pressing. >> yeah. that's why, never, never could have been a classical pianist. i don't have the equipment. but i have good rock 'n' roll fingers. >> jimmy: talking about you, making music with kanye. you have recorded with eminem,
the killers a christmas song with you. seems like you stay on top of current music. >> yeah, i did fallout boy. just came from the recording studio with jack white. >> wow. >> that was good. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you listen to the radio? >> no, i buy cds, i lech to have the cd. i look to find o i like to find out who played and recorded. gets harder to read. they are so small. i buy cds every week. a list of what is coming out in britain and america. i buy the cds. play them in the car. play them at home. i listen to dance music first thing in the morning. i like dance music. that wakes me up. during the day i listen to other sorts of music. >> jimmy: do you go to the record store? >> wish i could. no record stores to go. in atlanta i used to go every tuesday morning. now in england there is hardly any record stores at all. buy them in supermarkets. get them in coffee shops.
best buy. book shops. ameba record in l.a. which is fantastic. i miss it. >> jimmy: ameba record is a great store. you are known for giving great gifts. rod stewart was here. he said one year he gave you a wine refrigerator or something. >> just an ice bucket. >> jimmy: an ice bucket. and that, same year you gave him a rembrandt etching. >> etching. yeah. >> jimmy: did you then all tete. the next year did he get? >> nothing. we have always played jokes on each other. but that wasn't supposed to be a joke. it was, a nice ice bucket. it was a rembrandt ice bucket. >> jimmy: nice ice bucket. we will take a break. later we'll hear music from this album. there it is "the diving board" and elton john is here we'll be right back! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] (music plays throughout)
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too small. too soft. too tasty. [ both laugh ] [ male announcer ] introducing progresso's new creamy alfredo soup. inspired by perfection. [ female announcer ] at 100 calories, not all food choices add up. some are giant. some not so giant. when managing your weight, bigger is always better. ♪ ho ho ho ♪ green giant . >> jimmy: we are back. elton john is here with us. this is his new album called "the diving board" and you kind of got back to basics for lack of a more descriptive term on this one. right. >> well, the producer took me to
lunch. you never made a piano based and drum basedalbum. that's how you became successful. i thought, yeah, you are right. we stripped it down and went in with the three of us. three musicians. put the tracks down very quickly. and then added things, the way weep thought were necessary. >> jimmy: it is really good. i like the song "quicksand" a line in the song said "i want to paris and woke up with an accent." >> yes. >> jimmy: do you know when bernie writes these lyrics for you do you always know what they mean? >> not necessarily. no. i never knew what take me to the pilot meant. from this day on. i still don't know what it means. but most of the time, yes. if he has been, i know what quicksand is about for. me i think i know what that its about. he may think something different. great thing about the two of us. he may write something. i may see a different thing completely. usually works out all right. >> jimmy: who is officially right? he technically wrote the song.
but the word are coming from your mouth. if we really, had to go to court over this, where, where would it wind up? >> never going to be mccartney/lennon. >> you are a baseball fan? >> i am. >> jimmy: an atlanta braves fan. >> in mourning all day. >> jimmy: are the braves aware of this from your dodgers stadium show in 1975? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: seems like this is in dodgers stadium this photograph. >> listen, the dodgers are the team to beat. because they have been playing so well. the start of the season they were right at the bottom. everybody was writing them off. then all the injuries came back. and they had an incredible last 2/3 of the season. surprised if, they don't win the whole thing. >> when you go a game do you yell at the team, shout at the umpires, sing me take me out to the ball game? >> yeah, of course.
i don't go to baseball, you don't really yell at baseball games. you yell more at football games and soccer games. because the of the ref receive. the umpire. always yelling at the come pyre or t -- umpire, referee, posing player. of course that's why you go to live games. >> jimmy: how crazy to look up in the stands opposing player and elton john is heckling you? >> it happens. yeah. >> jimmy: well we are going to hear, we are going to hear a song from this album tonight. and a classic as well. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and again the album is called "the diving board." it its an excellent album. it its the 31st from elton john. elton john, everybody. we will be right back with emily vancamp. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] when francois thibault said he was going to make vodka in cognac,
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>> jimmy: music from elton john! >> jimmy: despite the fact that she is from canada a land where vengeance does not exist. our next guest plays a woman who is obsessed with it. "revenge" airs sunday nights at 9 on abc. please welcome emily vancamp. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> i can barely walk in the shoes, i am sort of -- >> jimmy: that's why i never wear high heels. are you an elton john fan or too young? >> who isn't, really? isn't everybody an elton john fan? >> jimmy: i think so. it's look -- everyone no matter how old or what their race or whatever? >> absolutely. absolutely. i did get, i think seven text messages by the team i wok up
th -- time i woke up this morning from my mother. listing all the things i am going to say elton john. i was like mom, you don't all ways meet these people at these things you. have to it's elton john. giving me talking points. how did you get so text savvy? >> jimmy: what did she tell you to ask him about? >> if i ran out of things to say. i guess he has a home in canada. you can just talk about that you. have that in common. i don't think that's going to happen, but i will try. i will try. very sweet though. a die hard fan. >> jimmy: well, it was, maybe you should stay out and then in the middle, a musical interlude you can ask him about his house in canada. >> my mom would be so proud. >> jimmy: what was your first concert as a kid? >> eminem. >> jimmy: how old were you? >> 12 i think. in 1999.
>> jimmy: really. so you are listening to eminem at that age? >> i was a big fan. i never got into the boy band thing or any of that. i think my first album i bought was the fujis. >> jimmy: yeah. >> an interesting fact. >> jimmy: weird reaction. ah. i heard that this summer you shot captain america 2? >> i did. i play agent 13. >> jimmy: 1813. agent to the shields. >> yes. i wasn't a huge comic book fan, once i started immersing myself in the world i was going to be a part of it. so fascinated by it. amazing. my assistant is a huge comic book fan, we were geeking out on the way to work every day. i thought i never would be having these conversations. but we were. an amazing world. what a cool universe. i hear you are a big fan? >> jimmy: i like comic books, yeah, yeah. i don't want to position myself
as a nerd. i am still very, very cool. >> nerds are ruling the world. >> jimmy: that's what they say. then you wind up getting beat up in the alley. >> yeah, right. >> jimmy: i like captain america. not my favorite of the marvel super heroes. he's cam tptain america. he was kind of a square super hero. >> a square. >> jimmy: as far as they go. spiderman was my guy. he is funny. i like spiderman. >> i see how it is. >> jimmy: i know you only listen to curse word and stuff when you were a kid, eminem and the fujis. on "revenge" have you murdered everyone? are you out of people? >> i still haven't killed anybody. i still have yet to kill somebody. i am certainly destroying people's lives as one does. no, it is a great season. we have, we are on episode nine of season three. we are really taking it back to its original roots of season one which i think people were really craving. and really, really proud of the
show. >> jimmy: your scowl on the show -- i know, i regretted telling any body. but we call it the crock, i will tell you why, the origin of the story, which is that -- i had this research book that i put together. you know? when i was devil devil ucof -- developing a character. one was grace kelly, emerging from water, so stunning, coming out of the water beside it was a picture of a crocodile emerging from the water. they look really similar. so everybody started calling that stare the croc. >> jimmy: nothing to dupe wi iie terrible shoes? >> no. >> jimmy: the plastic shoes. you should stay out for elton. would you look to stay out for elton john. give your mother a thrill? >> sure. >> jimmy: elton john will be here. and the show is revenge, sunda nights at 9:00 here on abc. we will be right back with elton
matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night our very special guest kanye west will be here. "nightline" is next, but first his new album, "the diving board," is out now here with the song, "home again" elton john. ♪ ♪ i'm counting on a memory to get me out of here i'm waiting for the fog around ♪ ♪ this spooky little town to clear all this time i've spent being ♪ ♪ someone else's friend just one more time for old time's sake i'd like to go ♪ ♪ back home again the world had seven wonders
once upon a time it's sure enough ♪ ♪ the favored nations aided their decline and all around me i've seen times ♪ ♪ like it was back when but like back then i'd say amen if i could get ♪ ♪ back home again if i could go back home if i could go back home if i'd never left ♪ ♪ i'd never have known we all dream of leaving but wind up in the end spending all our time ♪ ♪ trying to get back home again
could have been a jailbreak and the spotlight ♪ ♪ hitting me or was i just some nightclub singer back in 1963 ♪ ♪ in the old part of valencia on the coast of spain never tiring once ♪ ♪ of hearing songs about going home again if i could go back home if i could go back home ♪ ♪ if i'd never left i'd never have known we all dream of leaving but wind up in the end ♪
♪ turning back she just laughs the boulevard is not that bad ♪ ♪ piano man he makes his stand in the auditorium ♪ looking on she sings the songs ♪ ♪ the words she knows the tune she hums ♪ ♪ ♪ but oh how it really feel lying here with no one near only you and you can hear me when i say softly slowly ♪
♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. tonight on "nightle," the toughest, longest race on earth. young women locked in a breathtaking battle. all on the backs of the world's wildest horses. >> i'm okay! >> we travel to outer mongolia with two women determined to win. >> riding. >> there will be rivalries.
good evening. thank you for being with us tonight. well the only derby you have ever heard of takes place in kentucky forget everything you know about racing horses. because tonight we are taking you to the far reaches of outer mongolia to one of the toughest races of any kind in the world. 850 horses. over 600 miles. 30 extreme riders mostly women on the adventure of their lives. they say if you can complete the mongol derby you can do anything. and our special edition of "nightline" sends gloria rivera and