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oh, come on, bubba! you really think that reilly can take johnson? are you crazy?! johnson will take him in the first round. tchoo-koo! yeah. oh, really? well, put some money where your mouth is. that's big enough to hold your money, wallet, and your checkbook. oh? how much? come on. come on. you're getting warmer. all right, now double that. now you're talking. $2.00. you got it. good-bye. ok, see you later. sold. got 2 big ones. hey, grady!

dy i want you to meet. well, don't shout! a person shouldn't shout from room to room! if a person has something to say to a person in another room, that person should walk in there and say it! the trouble with you young folks, you'd rather shout your way through life than to walk! would you come on out here? i got somebody i want you to meet. yeah, all right. let me just get this thing off. he'll be right out, man. been in jail? oh, no, man. look, don't even worry about it. grady's a pretty nice dude. grady: speak up! you talking to me?! would you get out here? grady, do you remember earl edwards? oh, yeah. well, this is earl's baby brother herman. herman, grady wilson. how you doing? hey, hi, herman. how you doing? where's earl? oh, he's just about ready to get into law school. oh, wow, that's great.

uh, grady, uh, herman's gonna be staying with us for a while. oh, boy, why? well, because he doesn't have a place of his own. oh, how come? he spent the last 2 years in prison. in the kitchen, lamont. just make yourself at home, herman. thanks, man. are you crazy, bringing a killer into this house? grady, herman is not a killer. well, he's been to jail, hasn't he? yeah, he's been to jail. why, he's a crook and a killer. and he's in there alone in the living room. all right, you, put down those ashtrays! oh, man, please! all right, come on, up against the wall. don't you want me to raise my hands? yeah, right, raise your hands. and what about my legs? raise those, too. i mean, shouldn't i spread 'em?

oh, yeah. ok. now what? now what? now stop it! now herman is not a killer. well, how come he went to prison. because of circumstantial evidence. he just happened to be at the scene of a crime. oh, you just happened to be at the scene of a crime. what were you doing there? committing it. well, that's... that's circumstantial evidence, all right. come on, herman. now where you taking this jailbird? i'm taking him upstairs, grady, oh, yeah, spell it for me, number by number. herman was arrested when he was 20 years old for stealing a hi-fi set. he spent 2 years in prison, and he's paid his debt to society. oh, well, i ain't in society, so i haven't been paid yet. hey, look, lamont, maybe i better split. i don't want no more hassles. no, man, where you gonna go? he ain't got no place to stay, grady.

s gonna stay here with us until he finds himself a job, and that's all there is to it. you got that? ok. i just happen to have a job for him. here, herman, here's a quarter. your job is to get out. now good-bye. stop that. come on. shakedown is at 0800 hours! and showering is at 0830 hours, and check-out time is anytime you want to go! a crook around here. [mumbling] no, he wouldn't want that. oh, wow, can't let him get this. wow, that's all i got to do is miss hearing that fight.

now i got to hide all the valuables. got to hide the valuables. boy, that's some crook. he been here 5 minutes and there ain't a single valuable left. hey, dillinger, put down my paper and empty out your pockets. did you find anything yet, herman? no, not yet, man. you put anything back? stop it. hey, man, here looks like a couple places i could try. well, you just keep right on trying, herman. there's bound to be someone in this town that'll give you a job that don't care nothing about your past, man. right. did you try the mafia?

[knock on door] i'll get it. all right. well, hi there, uh, uh, lester. esther, no "l". oh, well, noel and merry christmas to you, too. you heard anything from fred? he said he was enjoying himself with his family. did he send me any regards? well, sort of. he said that he had visited the st. louis zoo. watch it, grady. and he was having a wonderful time... yeah. and he wished that i was there... be careful. and was sure you already were. that's it. would you knock it off?

just stop it? grady, stop it. stop it! now come over here. i got somebody i want you to meet. aunt esther, this is herman edwards, and he's our houseguest. our big-house guest. how you doing, ma'am? was that an automobile accident? no, she was born with that face. shut up, fool! lamont, could you come over to help gee, i'd love to, aunt esther, but i'm gonna be busy with the truck all day making pickups, and tonight i promised julio i'd go to the fights with him. what happened to your regular helper? well, we had to fire him for stealing. i could've forgiven him for anything else, but stealing... "thou shalt not steal." that's one of the top 10. yes, ma'am. oh, yeah, we can understand that.

ooh, lamont--you say that woody lost his helper? and herman here is looking for a job. oh, yeah, that's right. you are? yes, ma'am. do you know anything about the hardware business? well, i never had-- you don't have to worry nothing about that. herman here is very bright, and he picks up things very easily. where did you work before? well, you see, for the last 2 years i've been-- ed for the state. you did? well, yes, ma'am, and i-- never missed a day-- rain or shine, herman was always there. what did you do? well, i--i-- he was a waiter. a waiter? yeah, he waited 2 years. why did you leave?

does he get the job, aunt esther? i have to get my husband's opinion-- which shouldn't be very hard since he gets it from me. in more ways than one. wait a minute, aunt esther! just a minute. would you excuse me for a minute? say, lamont, could i rap to you for a minute? yeah, yeah. excuse me. grady, why don't you get something for aunt esther? gladly. how much do you think i could get for her? would you stop it! aunt esther! say, lamont, i don't think we should lie to your aunt like that. look, herman, nobody's asking you to lie. just don't volunteer any information that's not asked. come on, man. that ain't no way to do business. ok, look at it this way. would you tell anybody what your blood type was if they didn't ask you? of course not. all right, put your blood cell in the same category as your jail cell.

can i count on you being there this afternoon? yes, ma'am, i'll be right down there. just let me get my stuff. fine. bye. you don't have to rush off now, do you? yeah, why? well, i just like having you hang around out here. it makes the junk look so pretty. grady wilson, i wouldn't lower myself to even answer that, because i've got too much class.

will you come on downstairs? i didn't come here to rob nobody. grady: well, what'd you come back for? i got fired. you got fired? the first day on the job and you got fired? she caught you stealing again, right? no, pops, i wasn't stealing nothing.

did you kill her? put your hands down, man. well, how'd she find out that you was an ex-con. i told her. well, she didn't fire you because you was an ex-con, she fired you because you a fool. ok, pops, anything you say. and don't call me pops. and why'd you have to go and tell her anyway? 'cause she asked me. i didn't want to lie to the lady. what made her ask? the fact is that she asked me some questions about my last job working for the state, and i told her the truth. she must've passed out. no. she just raised her arms to heaven and said, "the truth will set you free!" and then she opened the door and freed me. ok, well, you can stay for a while. uh, i'll take care of that later,

onna lock you in the closet. oh, come on, man, you can trust me. well, i don't have to trust you. ain't none of my clothes in there. i tell you what, i'll just sit right here... on my hands. all right, go on. both of 'em. how'd you do it? steal the radio. it's gone. hey, pops, i didn't steal your radio. well, you the only thief that's been here. you can't trust a thief for one minute. the first chance he gets he steals--the freezer!

[mumbling] i'll plug it in. it'll thaw out then. i got to hear that fight. i got 2 big ones on that fight. got to hear that thing. hey, you ain't gonna hear nothing on that radio. [sobbing] [mumbling] here and get it for me. who's julio? he's our next-door neighbor. well, why don't you go over there and listen to it with him? he went to the fights with lamont. then how am i supposed to get his radio? by circumstantial evidence. you know, it's funny how you righteous dudes are only honest as long as it's convenient. come on, herman. i don't need no philosopher, i needs a crook. hey, man, look. that's breaking and entering. you know, that's 2 to 5. no, no. it's 10 to 9:00.

just the radio now. i got to hear that-- i got 2 big ones riding on it. what took you so long? you must be out of practice. oh, man, i didn't want to break in there and steal julio's radio. well, where'd you get it from? martell's appliance store. martell? are you crazy? stealing a radio from martell's now, i dislike a thief, but i hates a dumb one. [turns on radio] fight announcer: at the middle of the second round, johnson had reilly in trouble, but reilly came on with a good flurry of hooks to the body towards the end of the round. johnson now with a flurry of lefts and rights! he's got reilly on the ropes! johnson's winning! we winning!

we figured you had the fight on. you mind if we listen? no, no. we had terrible reception in the squad car, kept picking up police calls. you know-- hey, grady, can you turn it up? oh, yeah, sure. [changing ations] what the-- come on, grady, put the fight on. what you doing? [fight announcer continues] e volume and changed the station with the same knob. well, see, that's how this radio works. one of those buttons is for the brightness. [fight announcer continues] come on, get up, johnson! what are you doing? announcer: he's out! oh, man! that's my guy reilly. i lost 2 big ones. [announcer continues]

uh, yeah, this radio is funny that way. [turns radio off] boy, i tell you, he's a heck of a fighter reilly. came a long way from dublin. hey, hoppy, smitty. hey, lamont. how are you? hey, herman, what you doing here? you got in trouble or something? we stopped by to listen to the fight. how'd you get home so fast? i didn't even get in, man. the fight was sold out. besides, johnson got k.o.'d. i heard it in the truck. good thing he doesn't drive a squad car. say, how come you turned off the radio, grady? let's listen to the fight interview, man. [turns radio on] [changing stations] grady, what are you up to? uh... what are you doing with a radio in your pocket? in the kitchen, lamont. no, out here. now give me the radio. come on. give it to me.

uh, well--well... before you jump to any conclusions, this young man over here stole that radio and i was making a citizen's arrest. come on, get him before he escapes. come on, man. all right, young man, "you have the right to remain silent. if you give up the right to remain silent--" hold it, man. i didn't steal no radio. all right, mr. wilson, you have the right to remain silent. if you give up the right-- uh, hoppy. hmm? remain silent. hey, herman, what are they talking about? i bought him that radio at martell's, and he thinks i stole it. yeah, he bought it, all right. he bought it, all right. got a good buy, too. and that's good-bye to you, and it's time for us to divide. that's split. oh, split, right.

wow. hey, wait a minute, you. you stole my watch. grady, it's on the other arm. oh, yeah. how'd you do that? college graduate. college graduate. college graduate. [knock on door] looks like herman's gonna have a hard time finding a job in this town. oh, hi, aunt esther. here's your mail. take it. i need both hands free to preach some gospel into your heart. why? what did i do? you lied to me about herman. well, i didn't exactly lie. i played with the truth, but... played with it? lamont, the truth is not a toy. you can not play with the truth. the truth is a hard, firm, ragged rock, which is as old as the world itself.

shut up, fool. well, you're right, aunt esther. i did lie a little bit, but, see, i figured if you knew herman had been in prison that you wouldn't have given him a job. i apologize. i didn't fire him because he was in prison. i fired him because he didn't tell me he was in prison. now wait a minute. that wasn't herman's fault. i told him not to tell you. well, that's all in the past. i'm willing to put everything behind me. look like it's already there. you will not arouse my wrath, grady wilson, because i came here filled with mercy and to ask herman to come back to work for me. oh, really? yes. hey, herman! i think you better get down here. hey, what's up, man? guess what? aunt esther's gonna give you your job back. oh, really? really. "blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." i think that's wonderful, aunt esther. that's straight out of the good book.

gladly. come on, herman. we'll get you an apartment. it's not good for an ex-con to be associated with a lone sucker. see you later. bye. take care, dude. your insurance company won't replace the full value of your totaled new car. the guy says you picked the wrong insurance plan. no, i picked the wrong insurance company. you won't have to worry about replacing your car because you'll get the full value back including depreciation. and if you have more than one liberty mutual policy, you qualify for a multi-policy discount, saving you money on your car and home coverage. call for a free quote today. liberty stands with you?.

it's a bill from martell's appliance store for the radio. it seems that herman only made the down payment. you owe the other 8. i knew that crooked crook was crooked. once you've been on death row, you're not ever good for society again. and--and i'll never forgive your aunt esther for forgiving him, or you for forgiving him... or martell for sending this!

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