tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 5, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am EST
all right. i hosted the oscars last night. all right, all right. you're on drugs, aren't you? [ laughter ] well, thank you. i appreciate that. i needed that energy boost. we had a long night last night. the oscars actually just wrapped up about ten minutes ago, and i came over here. so after the oscars last night we had a party. it also happened to be my wife's 40th birthday. we were out very late. and we got home at about 2:00 a.m. and so you can imagine how delighted we were when our 3-year-old woke us up before 7:00 this morning to tell us, and i quote, "mom, dad, b starts with boogers." [ laughter ] and i was like -- i was like, no, wait a minute, boogers starts with b. b doesn't start with booingers. and that was it for sleep.
my mother last night, this story is 100% true. you're going to like this. my mother, unbeknownst to me, spent the weekend making oscar cookies. cookies shaped like the oscar. and she put glitter -- i don't know if it was edible or what. she then packed the cookies in disposable tupperware boxes and smuggled them into the show. so while the oscar show is going on my mother is in the audience passing cookies around to various people including steven spielberg. she gave steven spielberg a cookie, and he ate it. which really goes to show you, even when you're 50 years old and hosting the academy awards, you can still be embarrassed by mommy at work. [ cheers and applause ] that show is a lot of work. it's a monster production. i want to thank the staff and producers and the crew at the academy for all their hard work. i want to thank our producers here at our show who pitched in. and especially i would like to thank my amazingly talented writing staff who put in months
of hard work and late nights to write not only the academy awards but also this overcongratulatory statement i am currently reading off of the teleprompter. [ cheers and applause ] one of the dumb ideas i came up with was to give a jet-ski to the person who gave the shortest speech. that's literally the amount of thought that went into this. but then once we decided to do it, because technically it was a contest, the legal department had to come up with rules and guidelines for it. like do we start the timer when the winner's name is called, so they have to rush to the stage? well, we couldn't do that because it would be unfair to the winners in the back and people wearing heels and people wearing tight dresses. and you don't want to get in a legal dispute over a personal watercraft. that's how people get killed. so last night we had a whole team of lawyers with stopwatches painstakingly timing every speech to make sure the jet-ski got to the right person. and i don't know if any of the winners actually shortened their speeches to try to win it, but it was definitely on their minds
when they were giving their speeches on stage. >> i guess i'd better say something, or else they'll give me a jet-city and i don't see myself on a jet-city somehow. >> thank you. you guys are going to mess up my jet-s jet-ski. hold up. >> we were going to go for the jet-ski but we're aboutfrom brooklyn. >> obviously, i'm not going to win the ski. >> run that clock, jimmy. i want to get that ski jet or whatever that was. >> jimmy: sam did not get the ski jet. he had to settle for best supporting actor. [ applause ] the winner of the jet-ski with a very tight speech time of 36 seconds was a costume designer named mark bridges. that's mark with dame helen mirren on the back of the jet-ski. and this is funny. there's a wikipedia page which has already been updated, it says bridges received an academy award for best costume design for the artist and for phantom thread. for the latter he additionally won a jet-ski and a stay at a
lake hafs yue, a lake havasu, resort. [ applause ] we got a group of celebrities and walked over and interrupted a movie screening, and more than anything people have been asking me where did you get the hot dog cannons? we had two hot dog cannons. we built them especially for the show. and i thought you might want to see one because people were so fascinated. [ cheers and applause ] don't point that at me. you've got to be careful. >> i am. >> jimmy: what does that weigh? all right. so -- [ cheers and applause ] you want to fire it? >> yeah, sure. >> jimmy: don't hit the lights. >> guillermo: ready? >> jimmy: yeah. oh! good. well done. and then let me just say this. i pray that that technology does
not fall into the wrong hands. how hung over are you right now, jimmy? >> guillermo: a lot. >> jimmy: you had a lot of drinks last night. you had all the drinks last night i think. >> guillermo: well, i start drinking at 3:00 p.m. so it was -- >> jimmy: yeah. guillermo was out on the red carpet. we'll show you that in a minute. best picture went to "the shape of water." the director, guillermo del toro, is here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] if you have not seen it, it's a love story between a mute woman who eats a lat of hard-boiled eggs and a fish man with magic powers who also eats hard-boiled eggs. and the most remarkable thing is guillermo del toro wrote this movie before marijuana became legal in california for recreational use. [ laughter ] meanwhile, frances mcdormand was robbed last night but not in the usual way people are robbed at the ovgsz. she won for best actress for the movie "three billboards outside ebbing, missouri," which was great. she gave not incredible speep. and then at the afterparty she put her oscar down on the table
and someone snatched it. and after the guy snatched it he did the smart thing. he immediately made a video of himself and posted it on facebook. >> what's up, everybody? look, i got this. this is mine. whoo! >> jimmy: so then he was arrested for grand theft, which is a felony. [ applause ] not only is that dumb, it's dangerous. i would rather steal from mike tyson than frances mcdormand. she'll beat your ass. [ laughter ] and what's the long-term plan when you steal an oscar? the hope your friends didn't notice you didn't win best actress in 2018? that was you in "three billboards"? you're amazing. speaking avenue amazing, you know how every season they say it's the most shocking finale in "bachelor" history. tonight it actually was. america faeftd on a three-hour television event tonight. it was almost as long as the oscars. in fact, the bachelor is kind of like the oscars except your parents aren't proud of you for being a part of that one. bachelor arie tonight had to make a very difficult choice
between two women who are indistinguishable from each other. really the only thing that's different is their hair color. lauren and bekah. it was difficult because arie believed he was in love with both of them but they won't let you pick both of them, you can only pick one of them. it's in the rules. so after a long and sleepless night arie decided to say good-bye to lauren. >> last night i was awake all night thinking about this moment and i -- i wanted it so bad for us. but there was something that was holding me back. and i just can't go through with it. >> i don't know what to say. >> i did fall if love with you. >> i'm extremely confused. >> i know. i know. and i knew you would be. >> i think we all are really because it's a confusing show. i don't know -- he's in love with her but he sent her home.
okay. so he sent lauren home, and then as bachelors are known to do, turned right around and proposed to becca. >> i choose you today, but i choose you every day from here on out. i love you so much. >> i love you. >> jimmy: look at that. that is the smile of a man who's already regretting his decision. and that is where things got interesting. because after dating becca for about a month arie started to have second thoughts. he still had feelings for lauren. so he did what any guy, any gentleman would do in this situation. he called chris harrison. he said get a camera crew over to a house so i can break up with her on national television. and then after he told her he wanted to move on he literally refused to move on. >> do you want a few minutes to yourself or do you want me just to go? >> i want you to go. >> hey, are you okay? >> just leave. what are you still doing here?
just go. just go. please just go. just leave. >> i'm going to go. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and there he is. i don't know. how does a former race car driver not understand the word "go"? so now we have another very special two-hour after the final rose show tomorrow night to find out if lauren will take arie back. and i don't know about you, but i'll be praying for them. i hate to imagine this whole thing was a waste of time. arie will be here with us tomorrow night. i'll straighten him out. by the way, i want to mention, we're providing a special service tonight. this is something i came up with
about three years ago. we finally got it right. it's for oscar winners specifically. i'm going to be opening a chain of these. but ladies and gentlemen, i'm pleased to bring you the first ever os-car wash. [ cheers and applause ] this is for any oscar winner who wants to get his or her trophy cleaned. so if an oscar winner just happens to be in the neighborhood, you know, it's right across the street from us. and we figured if anybody -- oh, my goodness. wow. [ cheers and applause ] how are you? >> guillermo: how are you? good to see you. >> jimmy: look at that. it's academy award winner for best actor gary oldman. hey, gary. >> i -- i heard you're -- i'm in the right place for the -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> the oscar wash. >> jimmy: this is where we're
doing it. did you want to use it? >> yeah, it's a little grubby. last night a lot of people at the party they were touching it. >> jimmy: i don't blame you. run that right through. you'll be the first. just put it right on the thing. >> all right. put it there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the button, yeah? >> jimmy: yeah. just hit that button, and it should go. we're still working out some of the kinks. but -- there you go. oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause ] look at that. isn't that nice? >> oh, that's -- >> jimmy: that thing only cost us $20,000. isn't that great? >> that's a beautiful thing. >> jimmy: gary. congratulations, by the way.
[ cheers and applause ] i do want to say your performance -- you were unbelievably great as churchill, but to me for my money your greatest performance ever was on this show back in i think 2014 when you played a beloved children's character. >> yeah. ♪ ♪ ee, ee, ee ♪ a valentine candy dolphin ♪ ee, ee, ee ♪ kochocolate chips up my blowhole ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you were snubbed for an emmy. >> who could forget lyrics like "chocolate out of my blowhole"? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who can forget that? do you remember that particular experience? >> i remember it very specifically because we had a wardrobe malfunction. it was supposed to shoot a
stream of chocolate out of the top of my head but most the it ended up in my underwear. [ laughter ] and so when i came an for the second act to chat with you i was commando because my -- my underwear didn't look very pretty in the dressing room. >> jimmy: but look, it all worked out. you have an academy award. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations. gary oldman, best actor. we'll be right back. guillermo interviews the stars on the red carpet! ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by taltz. embrace the chance of 100% clear skin with taltz. for people with moderate to severe psoriasis, up to 90% had a significant improvement
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-no. -separated at birth much? we should switch name tags, and no one would know who was who. jamie, you seriously think you look like him? uh, i'm pretty good with comparisons. like how progressive helps people save money by comparing rates, even if we're not the lowest. even if we're not the lowest. whoa! wow. i mean, the outfit helps, but pretty great. look at us.
>> jimmy: katy perry and guillermo del toro on the way. but as we know, our very own guillermo was with me at the oscars last night. every year before the show guillermo gets a spot on the red carpet. he asks the tough questions, and he does it with a tank full of tequila. and this year he did it again. this is guillermo at the oscars. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> guillermo: hi. how are you? >> you look so gorgeous. >> guillermo: you always look so beautiful. i'm always happy to see you. >> you are? >> guillermo: yeah. >> thank you. >> guillermo: and congratulations. you're nominated today, huh? >> yes, i am. >> guillermo: you know what? i wrote a speech for you. >> let me see it. >> guillermo: right here. >> should i practice it? >> guillermo: yeah. >> i'd like to thank my mother and father for making sex in a truck so that i could be born. i don't think i could have said it better myself. that is -- >> guillermo: you did it -- yeah, you put it like that. >> so that if i have to.
>> guillermo: okay. did you wrote a speech for today? >> did i write a speech? no, i didn't write a speech. >> guillermo: here. can youead it? >> yeah. see? i told you i was the best actor in the world. suck it, everybody else. after the show i know i'll be at the cabo wabo cantina. meet me there. >> guillermo: hey, danny, how are you? >> what's happening, brother? >> guillermo: welcome to the oscars. >> thank you, man. >> guillermo: i want you to be honest. are you getting too old for this [ bleep ]? >> no. >> guillermo: danny. good luck. you're such a tender lover. good luck tonight. >> all right. >> guillermo: who do you want to win? >> everybody. why can't they make that happen? >> guillermo: and who do you want to lose? >> a few people. >> guillermo: hi. how are you? >> how are you? you look fantastic. >> guillermo: you too. you look beautiful. >> i want to take you home and put you on my shelf. >> guillermo: oh, my god. >> you look like oscar himself. >> guillermo: can you sign my dvd?
this is my favorite dvd. >> i'm not in it, though. >> guillermo: but it's okay. this is my favorite movie. look. >> i love that movie. >> i'm not in it. >> guillermo: you're not in it? >> no. >> guillermo: but can you still sign it? >> no. >> yeah. that's me. >> there you go. >> guillermo: matthew! matthew! matthew mcconaha. this is my second favorite movie. >> what's your first favorite? >> guillermo: "greas" john travolta. >> why didn't you bring that one? >> guillermo: oh, i couldn't find it. they didn't have it at amoeba. >> they didn't have it at amoeba? >> guillermo: you are so beautiful. >> you are so beautiful too. we're both matching today. >> guillermo: yeah, we almost match. >> we can go dance salsa after this. are you going to dip me? >> guillermo: yeah. >> one, two, three. that was successful. >> guillermo: yeah.
>> mwah. >> guillermo: mwah. are you hungry? >> yeah, absolutely. >> guillermo: okay, look. >> a kaboodle. >> can i get this? >> guillermo: anything you want. as long as you tip me. >> listen, i don't have any cash on me. >> here. i don't really have very much. no, that's okay. that seems like too much. >> guillermo: thank you very much. and good luck tonight. all right? >> thank you so much. >> guillermo: all right. >> he actually took the money. okay. cool. >> guillermo: bye-bye. do you want to try something from my shoes? >> from your shoes? >> guillermo: yeah. >> what's that about? >> guillermo: here, you want my left or my right? my left is tequila and this is whiskey.
>> guillermo: the tequila's always right. >> [ speaking foreign language ]. >> guillermo: this is your first time -- >> oh, my god, that is tequila. [ applause ] >> that is tequila. >> guillermo: oh, my god, you look so beautiful. >> thank you. you want to take me out on a date? >> guillermo: yeah. for real? >> yeah, for real. >> guillermo: when? tonight? >> no. not tonight. what about thursday night? >> guillermo: thursday night. all right. i've got to check my schedule. >> check your schedule. let me know. >> guillermo: you know meryl streep? look. >> oh, my god! >> guillermo: meryl. meryl.
meryl! hey, tell her i'm here. [ applause ] can you tell me what meryl streep smell? >> what she smell like? >> guillermo: yeah. >> she smells like success. >> guillermo: and me? >> no, you smell like alcohol. wa are you drinking? tequila? >> guillermo: yeah. you want some? >> hell no. >> guillermo: why? >> because i'll get pregnant. i don't want to get pregnant tonight. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: well, there you have it. i talked to a lot of people. a lot of celebrities drink out miff shoes. there's a lot of germs right here. but i had a flu shot. so who cares? i'll see you next year. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: fire that thing off
again. there you go. all right. tonight on the show oscar winner guillermo del toro is here. we'll be right back with katy perry. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by mgm resorts. welcome to the show. find that photo from orlando, fix these brakes, figure out how to make an exploding glitter cake by morning... [thinking] stupid lights.. [crash] [thinking] the sky looks amazing. i look amazing. i should take a selfie. [thinking] oh, hey, buddy. are you gonna wake me up for my 9am meeting? no way. [laughter] hey google. hi, what can i do for you.
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>> jimmy: all right. welcome in. tonight oscar-winning writer and director of the oscar-winning best picture of the year "the shape of water" guillermo del toro is here with us. he made two great speeches last night. tomorrow night our old pal neil patrick harris will be here. bachelor arie will be here, possibly with a plus one. and music from john parredy and an all new music edition of mean tweets. and later this week, charlize theron, kathy griffin, josh duhamel and mike epps, with music from lord huron and noel gallagher's high flying birds. our first guest is a multi-platinum-selling recording artist who, starting sunday night, passes judgment on a new crop of carrie underwannabees on the reborn "american idol." >> my name's noah davis. i'm from royal, arkansas and i'm 18 years old. >> wow. 18.
>> okay. >> did you just say wig? >> i know. wig. i feel that already. >> what is wig? >> it's not your language. it's just for us. >> we're here together. >> i love you. >> i love you. >> so much. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: love has already blossomed. "american idol" returns sunday night on abc. please welcome katy perry. [ cheers and applause ] were you out late last night? >> there's a reason the word pain is in champagne. >> jimmy: were you drinking? you had a little too much? >> i had a splash, as mariah would say. >> jimmy: where were you last night? where did you go? >> well, i just actually came back from the gaia stereo party
just now. >> jimmy: you slept over? >> i can't tell you the hours because i don't want the judgment. but i also got to perform last night at an event which was really fun. >> jimmy: it was a charity event. >> it was. and jamie foxx was there. he played right before me. and we raised over a million and a half dollars for the children's hospital. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. that's all right. >> yeah. it's pretty good. may i just say watching last night as i was getting my hair and makeup done, you struck such an incredible beautiful balance on that show last night. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, thank you. thank you for saying that. that's right. >> it was so heartfelt. it felt like finally there was a show that really included everyone. it was very diverse. >> jimmy: it was -- you know, i know people get kind of like oh, with this and that and whatever. >> that's when you get the jokes. that's when you come in and do the jokes. >> jimmy: but this is real stuff
that people are experiencing. >> it's story teleing. it shapes and inspires people's lives. >> jimmy: well, thanks, very nice. will you tell us what wig means? because i'm still thinking of it. [ laughter ] >> what's wig? it's a language that sometimes the kids and i speak. it's a little bit internet language. but when somebody basically sings really well and they sappisang, you know, they sing so well that the wig flies out. >> jimmy: i thought it was wig out. remember that one? >> no, no. there's tape and glue because i've worn many wigs. hello. blue i go. californ california girls. but sometimes the glue is not strong enough to hold the vibrations. and away it flies. >> jimmy: the adhesive cannot hold. >> no. that's when you know you can really sing. >> jimmy: how are you doing? are you excited about "american idol"? >> oh, i'm actually so thrilled. and we're deep into the taping now. and lionel richie is on the show. my --
[ applause ] yes. >> jimmy: i love lionel richie. everyone loves lionel richie. >> honestly, lionel's on the show, and luke bryan, a country star. >> jimmy: he's a great guy, luke bryan. >> and luke bryan and i are like brother and sister and lionel's kind of like our uncle. and we -- >> jimmy: in what way is lionel like your uncle? >> we respect lionel just about as much as his kids respect him. which is not a lot. >> jimmy: his daughter nicole tortures him. >> we do the most. >> jimmy: you guys are continuing that tradition. >> eyres here's the thing. he's giving some eloquent statement about when he was with whitney or michael to some hopeful contestant and we're prepping a whoopie cushion for him to like sit down after he's done his ted talk. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> and he just goes for it every time. and it's amazing. >> jimmy: sometimes the old jokes are the best ones. >> we're ruining his legacy. >> jimmy: by the way, i think i'm giving lionel a -- presenting him with a star on the hollywood walk of fame. >> i heard you're --
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's your favorite lionel richie song? >> i love "easy." easy like sunday morning. >> jimmy: there's nothing better than "easy like sunday morning." >> he's literally so smooth. and he just this glow and this glisten about him and he's just like -- he's just kind of like the uncle that you want in your house telling you all these wonderful historical important stories. and he does tell some tea but we can't put that on tv. >> jimmy: all right. are there any talented people left in america? >> no, none. >> jimmy: nobody, huh? >> sorry, abc. >> jimmy: we found nobody. >> no one. >> jimmy: would you guys get to the point where i know this was 16 weeks of television, we didn't find anybody, we just wants -- >> should i sing? should i sing again? >> jimmy: is it good if they sing one of your songs? or is it a bad move? >> it's a bit of a lion's den, roman coliseum trap.
>> jimmy: no lionel, no luke? >> it's just no offense, we've sung it over 10,000 times. so unless you have, you know, the way to reinterpret it, like we don't need our bum bums to be kissed on this show. we're really looking for authentic incredible instant identity talent. and by the way, there is so much of it. and i was a little bit weary of you know, there's youtube, there's instagram, anyone can be found these days. we have found -- it's -- we have found some of the most incredible people. and i think in the music industry now as i see it from my own experience it's very crowded. sow really have to light yourself on fire on instagram to get a like these days while singing and still you don't get a record deal. so i think the platform of "american idol" has kind of come full circle to be such a great benefit for up-and-coming stars. >> jimmy: well, good. that's what i worried about. i felt like they went through everyone in the world. >> you know, it's funny that new
stars are born every day. right here. [ applause ] >> jimmy: new stars are born every day. >> and they keep getting younger. >> jimmy: when we come back from the break i want to test your memory. >> i tried to outparty madonna last night. >> jimmy: don't try to outparty madonna. >> she won. again! >> jimmy: she always wins. when we come back we're going to play a game called blast from the past in which we have all of these people standing by right now. five of them are strangers to you, katy perry. one is a person from your past. and you will -- >> in this lifetime or a couple past -- >> jimmy: in this lifetime. >> great. just was wondering if i needed to channel. >> jimmy: blast from the past with katy perry after this. maren morris and zedd] ♪ mid"y ♪ baby, why don't you just meet me in the middle ♪ ♪ in the middle ♪ so pull me closer ♪ why don't you pull me close ♪ ♪ why don't you come on over ♪
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yeah, it's fine. you ok? eczema. it's fine. hey! hi! aren't you hot? eczema again? it's fine. i saw something the other day. eczema exposed. your eczema could be something called atopic dermatitis, which can be caused by inflammation under your skin. maybe you should ask your doctor? go to eczemaexposed.com to learn more. >> jimmy: all right. we're back with katy perry. "american idol" premieres on sunday night. katy, it's time to play blast from the past. >> i mean, i'm nervous. have i made out any of these people? >> jimmy: we'll find out. we've got six people. five of them are strangers to you -- >> i definitely have made made out with five. >> jimmy: one of them is from your past. >> i never forget that mustache.
>> jimmy: i'd like you to pick one. and once you get the person you can only ask yes or no questions until we find out who the person is. >> okay. i would like to say number 2. >> jimmy: number 2. are you from katy perry's past? >> i am not. >> jimmy: he is not. i'm sorry, katy. let's go back to the board. >> well, he's really cute. [ laughter ] i thought maybe we would have some kind of association. >> jimmy: be part of your future, perhaps. >> no, no, no. that's done. >> jimmy: anyone else look familiar to you? >> anyone else look familiar? number 4? >> jimmy: number 4. are you from katy perry's -- >> is number 5 like my therapist? >> jimmy: -- past? >> i am from your past. >> oh, my god! i know who this is.
erica! >> annika. >> annika! >> close enough. >> we were really good friends, annika. >> jimmy: how good friends were you? how close? >> sixth grade is this no? >> sixth and seventh grade. there were only like eight girls in our junior high. >> you are just so beautiful. what an incredibly beautiful woman you've grown into. i remember we were pretty mischievous. i actually -- do you remember me getting suspended for three days for humping a tree? >> you were very mischievous i remember. >> annika. how good friends would we be now? >> jimmy: annika, do you have any stories you'd like to share about kiaty? >> i do. but they kind of all revolve around boobs. >> jimmy: i think that would be all right. >> these life givers. go right ahead.
>> yeah. the first one i could remember is when you had a sleepover once at our house and you were telling my younger sister and i that we could not wear a bra to bed because if we did it will crush our boobs and they would never grow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't realize you were giving medical advice. >> i mean, exhibit a. exhibit a. yes. you just have to -- your body is a temple and you should protect it. >> jimmy: or leave it unprotected. what's the other story you remember, annika? >> the other story was that i think you were in a dressing room, we were changing for p.e. or something, and you pulled your shirt up and you said, look, i have to wear two bras because my boobs are so big. [ laughter ] >> and that has not gotten me
anywhere. >> jimmy: well, what a beautiful reunion this has been, annika. [ laughter ] >> i'm glad you're saving the third story for yourself. please don't call. >> jimmy: well, i don't think you can really touch her. it's tv, katy. she's that way anyway. >> oh. i'm caught in the matrix. >> jimmy: thank you, annika. >> thank you, annika. >> jimmy: i hope this was as rewarding for you as it was for the rest of us. you are -- she's gone. >> forever. >> jimmy: you're going ton a world tour right now, right? >> i'm actually leaving here and getting on a plane to go to santiago, chile. >> jimmy: would you like to take a hot dog along with you? because we've got a -- >> i would love a hot dog. >> jimmy: be careful, guillermo. >> i have to say this is not the first time i've been hit with a hot dog. >> jimmy: ready? here we go. >> aim down. aim down. aim down! >> jimmy: guillermo. you got one?
it's a chile dog. >> it's a chile dog! >> jimmy: "american idol" sunday night here on abc. we'll be right back with guillermo del toro. ♪ ♪ bit by bit, ♪ putting it together ♪ piece by piece, only way to make a work of art ♪ ♪ first of all you need a good foundation ♪ ♪ otherwise it's risky from the start ♪ ♪ takes a little cocktail conversation ♪ ♪ but without the proper preparation ♪ ♪ having just a vision's no solution ♪ ♪ everything depends on execution ♪ ♪ the art of making art ♪ is putting it together
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>> jimmy: welcome back. our next guest woke up this morning with two little bald men in his bed. last night he won oscars for best director and best picture for his erotic and aquatic instant classic "the shape of water." which if you haven't seen it is in theaters now. please welcome guillermo del toro. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you brought one for me. how nice. look at these guys. that's pretty good. >> there they are. >> jimmy: for a guy who loves movies as much as you do this has got to be, i mean -- i'm sure it's fantastic, but what goes through your head when you're sitting there and it's the moment you've had months leading up to this and they're
reading and they show the clips and then they're about to read it? what are you thinking then? >> you're going through an empty bubble of nothing. just sheer body chemistry. >> jimmy: and then do you hear just the first part of your name, then you know? >> the first two syllables. and then you go, uh -- and then you go into a hyperaware reality where you count every step, you see everybody's pores. [ laughter ] you're aware of the dust floating in the air. it's really special. >> jimmy: you did a very funny thing. i don't know if everyone noticed. but when you won you held up the card to show -- >> that it was. >> jimmy: "the shape of water." [ applause ] just in case there was any confusion at all. >> i thought i hope it's not a gag. >> jimmy: that would have been bad. how did you celebrate afterwards?
>> you know, the first thing, the most outstanding thing was i went to change my pants and my shoes. [ laughter ] that was the most urgent thing. >> jimmy: because you had an accident? what happened? [ laughter ] >> these are my normal shoes, which are like male nurse's shoes. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> they have a good cushion. those are my formal shoes, which are torture. >> jimmy: these are the shoes you wore last night? >> at the second part. >> jimmy: you can do that when you win. >> and then my pants, i learned through -- tuxedo pants have no belt. >> jimmy: right. >> and normally my belly is my no belt protector. but i've been losing a little weight. a little. because of the stress. so all night, all night my left love handle kept popping. under the tuxedo i was like oh, there it is again. and i kept pulling the pants in every situation. it was really unnerving. when we went to shoot the
cannons my left handle was acting up. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. >> it had a mind of its own. >> jimmy: i want to show. this is my favorite picture of the night. this happened on stage moments after you won the oscar. you called for our guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermos stick together, man. >> jimmy: i guess so. there's a real brotherhood that i don't feel like i'm a part of. >> guillermo kimmel has a good sound. >> jimmy: well week, thinking of adocumenting him. >> you and everyone. >> jimmy: actually, my son is named william, which is guillermo. i could call him guillermo. >> it is guillermo. you could say guillermo. >> jimmy: i think i will from now on. maybe we'll win a couple of these things. >> could be. jfrpt did you know they were celebrating in your home town in guadalajara? >> yes, i heard. >> jimmy: i have some photographs. i don't know if you have seen these yet. it was almost like a super bowl victory there. people were very -- [ applause ] >> that cartoon, however, looks
like jabba the hutt had a baby with herve vil ashez. >> jimmy: and they're carrying a poster -- >> i know this guy. >> jimmy: how about that? >> childhood friend. >> jimmy: that's got to be the best, to have your home town celebrating like that for you. >> i'm heading off this week there. i'm going to see my dad, my mom. >> jimmy: oh, they must have went crazy. >> yes. >> jimmy: when you made "the shape of water" did people say why didn't you make it in spanish, why did you make it in english? >> it was weird enough in any language. [ laughter ] i thought we were going to win best foreign film. >> jimmy: yeah. you went to madonna's party as well last night. >> the same as katy perry. >> jimmy: did you see katy there at the party? >> no. it was so crowded. i found the food. i found the drinks. and i headed for the door. >> jimmy: did you bring these guys to the party? >> i was thinking of bringing them in, but you know, i thought i know the driver and i thought
this is so crowded, i'm going to leave them in the car. turns out frances mcdormand, i had the right instinct. right? >> jimmy: hers got -- yeah. as long as it wasn't an uber driver. >> no. >> jimmy: because that would have been a mistake. >> but it was a very crowded party. everybody famous was there. leonardo dicaprio, adrien borrowedy. a then when we were going out on the valet line we were standing next to elon musk. >> the tesla guy. >> jimmy: yeah. and alejandro inarritu was with me and he started interrogating him about recharging stations. [ laughter ] >> i thought this is a good party. >> jimmy: did elon agree to come up with some recharging stations? >> no. but had i seen the oscar wash i would have consulted him. >> jimmy: these guys look perfectly clean. they don't need to be washed at all. i think it's important to mention because people watch the oscars, if you haven't seen "the shape of water" it's a great
movie. there's a reason why it won best picture. and i think that's maybe the most important thing about the oscars, is to tell people which movies they should go see. >> when we got together after you saw it and you said it's a classic, i think that's the strangest thing is that it's very unorthodox, the story, but the way it is shot is so full of love for cinema that it actually feels like an all-time classic. >> jimmy: it really does feel like a movie that came from another time, and yet it's not something that i feel i've ever seen before. >> or that you can define in one sentence or two. >> jimmy: no, no. it takes like nine. >> without sounding like you're -- >> jimmy: well, i'm so happy for you. you're really the best. and to win not one but two academy awards has got to be unbelievable. >> and they're clean. >> jimmy: i can't wait to see what you have coming up next. guillermo del toro, everybody. we'll be right back. well, like most of you, i just bought a house.
-oh! -very nice. now i'm turning into my dad. i text in full sentences. i refer to every child as chief. this hat was free. what am i supposed to do, not wear it? next thing you know, i'm telling strangers defense wins championships. -well, it does. -right? why is the door open? are we trying to air condition the whole neighborhood? at least i bundled home and auto on an internet website, progressive.com. progressive can't save you from becoming your parents, but we can save you money when you bundle home and auto. i mean, why would i replace this? it's not broken. i mean, why would i replace this? i try to take care of my teeth, but there's acid in what i eat and drink everyday that can do damage over a lifetime. so my dentist told me to go-pro with crest pro-health. crest pro-health protects against acids in everyday food and drinks better than regular toothpaste. that's how you nail a checkup. crest. i'm never gonna be able i'll take a sick day tomorrow. on our daughter's birthday? moms don't take sick days... moms take nyquil severe. the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching,
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, the pink wave. coast to coast more women running for office than ever before. as the midterm elections kick off tomorrow, we're with congressional candidates in texas. >> come to mama. come on, baby, hurry. >> hoping to make history. >> i'm going to go for it. and here i am. sorry about this. >> no, it's okay. >> how the present political climate is motivating this movement. plus, hunky health care. he's been named "people" magazine's sexiest doctor alive. building his brand into social media stardom. with the help of his adorable husky. now opening up about his dating life and his childhood insecurities. >> i didn't have a lot of female