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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  August 2, 2017 11:34pm-12:37am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- halle berry, michael che,
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 717! lancaster, p.a.! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow, hey! great crowd tonight. welcome, everybody, welcome. welcome, welcome to "the tonight show", baby. thank you for being here. i appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] here's what people are talking about. some news out of washington. this morning, president trump
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plan that will favor people who speak english. [ light laughter ] which is why tonight he had to deport himself. [ cheers and applause ] "i am bigly -- i am bigly, bigly sad." [ laughter ] "covfefe." [ laughter ] last thing he said. a busy day for trump. he also signed off on new sanctions against russia for interfering with our election. source says that he talked to vladimir putin on the phone right before. yeah. people said that was inappropriate. trump said, "i agree, i wanted to face time." [ laughter and applause ] "i just wanted to see his face. he wouldn't pick up." well, it's been crazy. in fact, i read that 12 officials have resigned or been fired since trump was sworn in. [ light laughter ] yeah. and to make it easier to keep track of all of them, trump released a helpful video. i just saw it on "sesame street." take a look at this. ♪
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eleven twelve ♪ ♪ one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve ♪ [ cheers ] >> jimmy: yeah, i know, right. it sticks in your head. sticks in your head. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you remember that one, right? did you guys see this? it just came out recently that trump recently said that the white house is, quote, "a real dump." [ light laughter ] and people staying at trump hotels were like, "wanna trade?" [ laughter and applause ] ooh, boy. >> steve: hey-oh! >> jimmy: ooh, boy. >> steve: ooh, boy. >> jimmy: now trump apparently called the white house "a real dump." in fact, he's got so many problems with the white house, he created a whole new tv show about it. take a look. >> steve: really? >> hello, everyone, and welcome to my show, "this old dump." [ laughter ] today, we're talking about this giant shack at 1600 pennsylvania avenue. it's got all sorts of problems, believe me. like, here's the lincoln bedroom, oy.
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look at all the junk in here, it's like, it hasn't been renovated since lincoln was president 30 years ago, okay. and just look at this room, it's a disaster, all right? i've had to call the exterminator five times to get rid of cnn. [ laughter ] finally, what about the oval office? there's no corners, okay. where am i supposed to put don jr. for a time-out? [ laughter ] "this old dump" exclusively on pbs. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: pbs? >> steve: pbs? >> jimmy: p.b.s. >> steve: oh, he said pbs. >> jimmy: he's pronouncing -- he's reading it like it's a a word. >> steve: that's not -- it's pbs. >> jimmy: "golf channel is pronounced like a word." [ light laughter ] i know but, p.b.s. is different. "pbs." [ light laughter ] guys, listen to this, i saw that an o.j. simpson museum is opening in l.a. [ scattered cheers ] that's right, a museum filled with his memorabilia. or as o.j. put it, "this feels like a trap." [ laughter and applause ] it just feels like -- i shouldn't. it feels like i'm walking into a trap.
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george clooney has the most handsome face, because of his eyes, nose, chin, and mouth. [ laughter ] in other words, he has the most handsome face, because of his face? wait -- [ laughter and applause ] who did this study? throw that card away. that doesn't make any sense, that study. guys, i saw that the movie "frozen" is being turned into a a broadway musical. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. and they've added a bunch of new songs and story lines. this week they released the first trailer for it. it's pretty exciting, watch this. >> starting next spring, "frozen" is coming to broadway, featuring over a dozen brand new songs. critics are already saying "it's magical." kids are saying "it's so much fun." and parents are saying, "my god, what have we done to deserve this?" [ laughter ] "we just got our kids to move on to 'moana' and now you're giving us like, 15 new fringin' songs? this musical better sell hard alcohol in the lobby." "frozen" on broadway. you just can't "let it go.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, they will, they will. don't worry about it. actually the "today show" -- i watch the "today show" every morning. on the "today show", they just featured a group of moms in california, who said that smoking weed makes them better parents. [ cheers ] when asked if their kids agree, the moms were like, "oh, crap, the kids." [ laughter and applause ] "all right, i'm gonna be right back. hold on. gotta get my funyuns. all right, hold on. i'll be right back." >> steve: funyuns. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: gots -- gots to grab my funyons. >> steve: my funyuns. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? this is interesting. a scientist just discovered that millions of years ago, flowers had both male and female parts. as a result, president trump has banned those flowers from serving in the military. [ laughter and applause ] what is -- what is he talking about? flowers? >> steve: from millions of years ago? >> jimmy: i don't even know what he -- he just -- >> steve: why would he do that? >> jimmy: finally, i heard that krispy kreme is coming out with a reese's peanut buttercup doughnut. [ cheers ]
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so, if you're someone who wants to eat a donut and a reese's peanut buttercup at the same time, something tells me you already have. [ laughter ] guys, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you guys. how was the -- how was the gig last night? >> questlove: it was epic. >> jimmy: it was epic? >> questlove: i mean, judd apatow came, lil wayne came -- fat joe. >> jimmy: lil wayne, fat joe. >> questlove: yeah -- [ light laughter ] >> tariq: frech montana. >> questlove: french montana came -- came on stage. >> jimmy: did french montana comes as well? >> tariq: yep. >> jimmy: how late did you go? >> tariq: 1:00-ish, 1:30. >> questlove: yeah, we went 'til 1:00 in the morning. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> questlove: yeah, man. >> jimmy: i can't do that stuff. >> questlove: tonight, doing it again. >> jimmy: the roots are -- the roots are with dave chappelle all week, at radio city -- or four days. [ cheers and applause ]
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all these special guests. i gotta go see it. i gotta go see you guys do it up. >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: you really don't know it, but that's the fun of going to a show, when you don't really know what's going to happen. and it's very new york, and it's dave. >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: dave's got all sorts of tricks of his sleeve. >> questlove: spontaneous. >> jimmy: so what does -- does he come out first, do an hour, and then you? >> questlove: usually like some openers, and then dave, and then all the music acts. >> jimmy: wow. >> questlove: but then like, some of them are on the side, and then their like -- blah, blah, blah ice cube's here. and then it's like -- >> jimmy: next you know, ice cube's getting up doing "today was a good day." and you're like -- that's so fun, though. >> questlove: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: all right, good, man. well, get ready to throw out my songs tomorrow when i'm out there. >> steve: gonna do soft shoe? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: you gonna do some soft shoe? >> jimmy: i'm gonna do some soft shoe, of course. yeah, i'll open with that. ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ i have a rendezvous with my sweet summer time gal ♪ ♪ guys, we have a great show tonight. she is one of our favorite movie stars. her new film, "kidnap", is in theaters this friday. halle berry is joining us. >> steve: oh
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hollywood! >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: halle berry! oh, she's the best. how fun? we have so much fun. halle and i are going to talk about "kidnap", her new movie. but then we're going to put our acting skills to the test in a a game of "box of lies." >> steve: ooh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: stick around for that. it should be fun with halle berry. plus, from "saturday night live", michael che is on the show tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he is crushing it on "weekend update." >> steve: crushing it. >> jimmy: he's got the new "weekend update" shows, they're starting next -- this thursday? no -- >> steve: next thursday. >> jimmy: next thursday, for three thursdays in a row. >> steve: boom, boom, boom. >> jimmy: yeah. that's almost as long as chappelle's doing radio city. [ light laughter ] with the roots. oh, man. he's doing all of the month of august, yeah. michael che is on the show tonight. i love that guy. [ cheers and applause ] oh, this guy is good. i love this guy. "budapest" was that song -- re
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it was a great song by george ezra. but then, it was a hit, and it was a big, giant, super hit. and then i was like, "hey, can you come on, can you play 'budapest'?" he was like -- he was kinda like, "that's my old song. i've got a new song out." and i go, "oh, okay." and he was like -- [ laughter ] "if you really like it, i'll come on and play 'budapest'." so, he came on and played that song for us. and so we just love him. so, i'm happy he's coming back. he's got a new song, it's fantastic. george ezra is here, you guys. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "don't matter now." and it's a great song. the new "budapest." >> steve: it's the new "budapest." >> jimmy: "don't matter now" by george ezra. yeah, we like it. guys, it is time for "tonight show" look-a-likes. it's a new thing. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tonight show look-a-likes yeah ♪ >> jimmy: a couple weeks ago, we asked you guys at home to send us photos of some things you've seen that look like donald trump. [ light laughter ] and we got a lot of great responses. and it's all random things -- so it's -- but you have to look at them, study them. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: buu'
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let's look at some of our favorites. this first one was sent in by cindi from wisconsin. it's a picture of a rock. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: take a look at that. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: "just hit a wall." >> jimmy: more of bust -- buy, yeah. but a rock -- it started as a a rock. this next one was sent in by heather, she sent in a photo of her ice cream cone. [ applause ] like a profile, see that? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: like a profile pic. >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: this next one is from edward in orlando. this is a bird, called the golden pheasant, that he thought -- not bad, that's -- [ cheers and applause ] i can see that. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: speaking of animals, laura from new york sent in a a picture of a horse. very nice hairstyle. [ cheers and applause ] i see that one. this next one, again, you have to really look for it. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: this was sent in by na
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>> steve: almond butter, okay. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i see it, i see it. i can totally see it. >> steve: one eye, one eye. >> jimmy: instead of the -- he's like thinking or something. yeah, i think he -- this next one was sent in by amanda in new brunswick, canada. it is a potato chip. this one's pretty clear. [ applause ] yeah, it's a good one. >> steve: it's a perfect profile. >> jimmy: yeah. i'm noticing a trend here, a a lot of snacks. [ light laughter ] a lot of snacks look like donald trump. here's another one from greg from los angeles. it's a picture of a carrot -- more snacks. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: a carrot -- >> steve: but healthier. >> jimmy: everyone's getting healthy these days. >> steve: you gotta get healthy. >> jimmy: yeah. it's a carrot dipped in hummus, look at this. [ laughter and applause ] not bad. >> steve: that's not bad. >> jimmy: this one was sent in by david from portland, oregon. he was at a restaurant and noticed something strange about his cheese dip.
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can we get a little closer? >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: look closer. [ applause ] do you see it? next to trump. there you go. see, now i get it. [ cheers and applause ] this is a bizarre one. it was sent in by robin from atlanta. this is a real sonogram. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: you see it? [ applause ] >> steve: that's her child. >> jimmy: yeah. born with the hair -- >> steve: "mama." >> jimmy: we're down -- [ laughter ] >> steve: "this place is a a dump." >> jimmy: were down to our -- [ laughter ] last one here. this one was sent in by ellie from georgia. she saw this ancient female statue. there it is right there. >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: that is all the time we have for "tonight show" look-a-likes. stick around, we'll be right back with halle berry, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now -- [ cheers and applause ] welcome back. ah, i love you guys.
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emmy, golden globe, and academy award winning actress who's latest film, "kidnap" is in theaters this friday. everyone, please welcome back to our show, halle berry! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: halle berry. >> yeah! >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. >> oh, my gosh. i love you, too! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we know! we love you too. i love you. we all love you. >> i love being here. >> jimmy: we're so happy that you came back. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: you look fantastic. i got to see you in kevin hart's movie last year, and you were great in that. i just loved that. that was a good cameo, and it was really fun. >> because of that, kevin and i, we're going to do a movie, a a full-blown movie together, kind of a takeoff of those two characters together. >>my
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no way! >> i love him. don't you love him? >> jimmy: oh, he's great. but you guys together, too, also -- i notice that you're back on social media now, you're doing instagram and twitter. >> yes. >> jimmy: because you were off for a little while. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and then, you're like, "eh, why not? just do it. it's fun." >> it is fun. and i realized, you know, if we want to stay a part of the conversation, then you got to be a part of it. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> and it's such a great way to have a different expression of who you are, not letting somebody else editorialize who they want to say you are. but you get to be who you really are. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and that's really fun. >> jimmy: like, this is a -- [ cheers and applause ] >> that's who i really am. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: let me tell you something. you really are something. this is a picture of you and it says, "me when someone says i'm coming over, and i've got snacks." [ laughter ] this is what they got, and you, "hey-yo!" [ cheers and applause ] >> that's how i'm always waiting for people. >> jimmy: yes, of course, with your arms wide open. >> you've got your lays chips. >> jimmy: no, i got it. i got it, yeah. [ cheers ] well, that was a popular photo on instagram because of the
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but also -- [ laughter ] i actually saw -- someone actually answered to that photo. this is from questlove, it says, "halle berry, i'll come over." >> questlove: what? >> jimmy: "i've got snacks." [ laughter and applause ] >> questlove: i said that? >> jimmy: yeah, you did. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> questlove: wait, for real? show it again! show it again! show it again! >> quest. >> questlove: oh, i did write that. >> jimmy: yeah, you did write that. yeah, okay. [ laughter ] >> wait, whoa, wait, quest. quest. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i've been waiting for you, man. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: hey! no, no! hey, no! stop, stop, stop! not now, not now, not now! we're with halle. we're with halle right now. >> he'll be showing up with snacks. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: he'll bring snacks. he'll bring snacks. let's talk about it. [ light laughter ] let's get back to my job here, which i want to talk about your movie. i want to talk about "kidnap." now this is one of my favorite types of movies, which i could say -- revenge, like a a vigilante movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but it's just you and the whole movie. >> i know.
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>> oh, gosh. >> jimmy: i could watch you on tv, on the big screen forever. i mean, it's fantastic. [ laughter ] i really can. i got snacks, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] so, it's called -- but this is like -- you're doing three movies, right? so, will we see more of you? will you come back to our show? >> i will come back to your show. >> jimmy: you have this. you also have -- >> i have "kingsman" coming back in september, and then "kings" in december. i got three kings this year. >> jimmy: that's right. >> yeah. three kings. [ cheers and applause ] three kings. >> jimmy: "kings" is with daniel craig. >> daniel craig. >> jimmy: and this is about the l.a. riots. >> it's about how a family is affected the night the rodney king verdict came down of not guilty. and i play, again, a mom of ten children. and daniel craig is the disgruntled next door neighbor, and we have a thing. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. and then, "kingsman." and, of course, everyone saw the first "kingsman." >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: so, this is perfect for you. i love that you're in the sequel. this is so good. >> i know. what diverse movie that was, right? >> jimmy: i loved it so much. >> yeah. matthew vaughn is amazing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's a good director, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i likeat
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>> jimmy: but then, so speaking of kids, "kidnap." >> yes. >> jimmy: this is the thing i want to talk about, because this is the worst. this is, like, a parents worst nightmare. >> it is. >> jimmy: a kidnapping? oh, no, no, no, no. >> when i read it, it took my breath away, being a mom of two. to see your child kidnapped right before your eyes close enough to see it, but too far to do anything about it, like, i couldn't think of anything that would just stop my heart, stop my breath than that. so when i was reading the script, i had to keep reading because surely i thought, "well, i know she's going to get this kid back. this is not gonna end badly." but the fun of the script was watching this every day mom become a hero. >> jimmy: yeah, man. >> because she has to. >> jimmy: that's what i'm saying. i love those movies. >> yeah. >> jimmy: like "falling down" or "taken." >> yes, "taken." >> jimmy: with, or -- >> i mean, a man can get a kid back, but so can a mom. >> jimmy: that's right! [ cheers and applause ] >> so can a woman! >> jimmy: halle berry can get a a kid back, too! >> yes! >> jimmy: that's right! >> yes! >> jimmy: you do, and man, and i -- i think i heard you talking in one of your interviews. you said, this is one of those one outfit movies. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's not like you have costume changes. >> no.
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this guy. >> yeah, at the end, my costume was standing up in the trailer by itself. [ laughter ] "see ya, halle." >> jimmy: yeah, you're like, "i'll never see you ever again." like, no. >> it was so funky. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: because yeah, it's just you in the whole movie. >> it was so funky. >> jimmy: you in that outfit. >> oh, my god. through water, through running, through sweat, through fighting, through blood. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the outfit was standing alone. >> jimmy: i love it. [ light laughter ] we got to get that outfit like a planet hollywood or something. just stand it up next to a a booth. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: i have a clip. here's halle berry in "kidnap," in theaters friday. check this out. ♪ [ screams ] >> no! stop, stop! ♪ [ car screeching ] frankie! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: halle berry and i are
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z2e2hz z1a2z y2e2hy y1a2y ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, i'm here with halle berry, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] her new movie "kidnap" is in theaters this friday. now, halle and i are about to face off in a game of "box of lies." [ cheers and applause ] here's how it works, upstage are a bunch of boxes containing objects neither of us have seen before. taking turns, we're going to select a box and open it on our side of the table, out of the view of the other person. you remove the object from the box, show it to the audience, ou
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and you tell them what's in your box. then they have to guess if you're lying or telling the truth. we'll play three rounds. halle why don't you go -- pick the first box. [ cheers ] yeah, they can help you, they can help you. [ audience yelling ] three, interesting. >> three -- oh, it's heavy. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, right, it's really heavy. please, you're holding it with one hand. [ laughter ] oh, my god. nice try, already. that's a hint! ha ha, he he. [ laughter ] [ indiscernible ] okay, good. all right. >> oh, shoot. [ light laughter ] oh. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know if you -- if you're lying -- i don't know what's happening. already, already, already. >> it's -- it's a stuffed animal of some sort, with a --
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like a snake wrapped around it. with things on its head. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, this is not my first time i've played this game. it's a stuffed animal of some sort, like, you don't know what stuffed animal it is? >> you have to ask that. >> jimmy: now, what is it, like a hatchimal? >> no, it's an elephant. >> jimmy: or is it like a bear? an elephant with a snake wrapped around its head, and things come out of the elephant or the snake? >> the elephant. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i will say, halle berry you -- [ drumroll ] [ light laughter ] you're telling the truth! [ horn ] [ laughter and applause ] oh, my gosh.
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i knew it, i knew you were lying. oh, my god. i knew you were lying. why did i -- i over thought -- i over thought it. oh, my god. get a life. [ laughter ] all right, what number. what number, i'm up. [ audience yelling ] someone said ten, there is no ten. five? [ audience yelling ] [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, here we go. okay. [ laughter ] okay. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] [ light laughter ]
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i think i'm just going to have to tell you the truth on this one, i really do. i just -- [ laughter ] i don't think i can make this one up. >> keep trying. >> jimmy: this is just a -- it's like a pencil sharpener type of thing where -- where you put the pencils, or whatever, you put a -- you put a pretzel stick. [ laughter ] in a dude's mouth. and it sharpens your pencil. >> sharpens your pencil? >> jimmy: yeah. or yeah -- i think it looks like that, it looks like some type of pencil sharpener, yeah. >> in a dude's mouth? >> jimmy: you put like a a pretzel in a dude's mouth and then a -- [ laughter ] you call -- you call it a day after that. >> so is there a mouth on there? >> yeah. >> yeah, there's a mouth on there?
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is there a dude on there, like a fake dude? >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] sure. >> okay, i think -- [ drumroll ] you're telling the truth. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: how could i even lie? after i saw it, how could i make up a lie of that fashion? it's the most insane thing i ever seen in my life. it's so -- it feels so weird to have to show this to you. i'm sorry. halle, let's do one more round. [ cheers ] this is worth 10,000 points. halle, you're up, you're up. any number. >> okay. [ audience yelling ] >> jimmy: this is aggressive -- aggressive yelling. that was an aggressive four. pick four! [ light laughter ] >> oh, you might see that, that's too high. >> jimmy: hm. >> i'm going to put this one back.
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: oh, see, i know a a magic trick when i see one. something just happened. >> oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] okay, this -- this has got a a lot of characters. >> jimmy: okay, a lot of characters involved. >> a lot of characters involved. awesome dry cleaning. >> jimmy: what do you mean, dry cleaning? what's that mean? >> i don't know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. i don't even want to hear anymore. i think i can make my decision. this is -- 'cause you're good. [ drumroll ] you lie! [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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halle berry, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for doing that. you're good. you are fantastic. that's why she wins academy awards. michael che joins us after the break, stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ woman: so this happened. nikki picked up some lime-a-rita's and that's when we knew it was going to be one of those nights. we started hanging a disco ball
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♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our next guest as one of the anchors of "weekend update" on "saturday night li
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i know. he's great, he's great. next thursday, you can see him and colin jost anchoring "weekend update: summer edition" live at 9:00 p.m. on nbc. everyone, please welcome michael che. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: michael che! >> this is cool as hell. >> jimmy: i mean, thank you. i'm so happy. thank you so much for being here. i appreciate this. >> oh, dude. >> jimmy: you've been on the show before, but never sitting here, so i got to ask the question. >> yeah, i'm always doing pictionary, and today i get to be a guest. >> jimmy: yes. thank you. yes, and here you are. what a great -- [ cheers and applause ] what a great season you had on "snl." man, oh, man. every week you guys came out and you destroyed it. it was so great to watch. >> it was fun. i mean, turns out america likes comedy -- [ laughter ]
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about donald trump. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. but now, you're going prime time. >> yes. >> jimmy: this is like a a different deal now. next thursday starts 9:00 p.m. on nbc. >> that's right. >> jimmy: it's just you and colin, but maybe some -- is there going to be some special guests? >> yeah, maybe you? >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i'm down. it would be fun. >> come on, jimmy. you got to come. this is a big deal. this is the "seinfeld" slot. >> jimmy: it is? thursday nights on nbc. >> that's right! >> jimmy: thursday nights on nbc is the "seinfeld" slot. >> that's the "seinfeld" slot. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. >> jimmy: but you -- it's you and colin, man oh, man. what a breakaway season. so, what? just because it was such a big year, that nbc was like, "hey, would you do three prime time deals?" >> i don't know. they just -- lorne texted me and said, "hey, you're showing up to work early." [ laughter ] that's how that works. >> jimmy: "you're coming in early." yeah, yeah, yeah. >> i don't know. i think, you know, we're doing three episodes. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, it should be fun. i mean, how often do you get to go back to work during your summer vacation? [ laughter ]
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stand-up over this break? >> yeah, i did a bunch of stand-up, pacific northwest. i went to a lot of nice places. >> jimmy: that's pretty cool, right? >> yeah, it's pretty dope. went to boston. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: oh, it's great. boston's a great city. >> oh, it's a great city. >> jimmy: i love that place. >> if you're white. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> no, i'm kidding, i'm kidding, i'm kidding. you can be a celtic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's it. >> no, yeah. that's it. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, all right. but besides, it's a great place. did you always want to be a a comedian? did you always knew? like, comedy's my thing? >> i honestly didn't know. like, you always want to be. who doesn't want to get paid to make medium jokes. but first, i used to paint. i used to do art. and i used, like, you know, put art on t-shirts. and i sell them in the streets. >> jimmy: oh, yeah? >> right here in new york city. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did you sell them to anyone famous? >> one time i sold a -- one time i sold shirt to this kid, this white kid.
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and i'm just painting a a picture, guys. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i sold a shirt to this kid, and he was like, "oh, man. my dad is a designer. i'm going to bring him by to buy a shirt." and i was like, "yeah, okay, whatever." the next week, he brings his dad, and it's tommy hilfiger. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers ] i know, yeah. >> jimmy: well, that kind of -- >> so, no. it's true. tommy hilfiger comes by, and he's like, "oh, man, i love your stuff. come down to the office, and i'll give you a job or something." and i'm like, "all right." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is amazing. >> i go to his office. he introduces me to everybody in the office individually. like, "this is michael che. one of these days, he's going to be an artist." and i was like, "what is happening?" [ light laughter ] that is the first time i ever heard the term "froyo." [ light laughter ] so they had a froyo machine. and the girl was like, "you want a froyo?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "what do you want on your froyo?" [ laughter ] "do you like froyo?"
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and you're like, "what is going on right now?" >> something about froyo and dry ingredients, people love it. but anyway, he took me to his office, he's got this giant, big american flag there. and i got nervous because, you know, whenever i see too many american flags, i'm like, "oh, boy." [ laughter ] i start -- you know, sometimes -- i didn't know if he missed the good old days. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] you can't have -- you got to make sure there's 50 stars on the american flag. >> jimmy: no, no. exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] i know what you're saying. you count it. >> there's got to be a flag that recognizes hawaii. >> jimmy: yeah, this flag -- yeah, this flag does. >> but this was a good -- this was a legit flag. >> jimmy: that's his thing. >> it's a beautiful flag. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and he paid me, took $1,000 out of his pocket and gave it to me, cash. he said, "you know why i'm giving this to you? because somebody gave me a a chance, and i'm going to give you a chance." [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: that's cool. [ cheers and applause ]
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i took that money, and i went to work, and then i went home, and i never came back. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why? >> i stiffed him. >> jimmy: why? what do you mean? >> i got nervous. i stiffed -- i just went home and just stopped showing up. [ light laughter ] i spent the money. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? you can't do that to tommy hilfiger. that was a great thing he did. >> i did it. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: have you ever run into tommy again? >> no, on purpose, i'm afraid. [ laughter ] but i always want to pay him back. i want to do something, if it's okay? >> jimmy: sure. >> i want to -- i brought my checkbook. and i want to write out a check to tommy hilfiger right now on national tv. [ cheers and applause ] i hope he sees this. >> jimmy: do you have a a sharpie? >> i'll do -- whatever. >> jimmy: this is really your checkbook? >> no, this is really michael che's. >> jimmy: michael che. this is really your checkbook. >> and i like brown leather because i'm a 70-year-old black man on the inside. [ laughter ] pay to the order of tommy -- how many i's are in "tommy"?
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hilfiger. >> jimmy: yep. >> uh, 19 -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> $1,000. this is how long ago -- i don't even know what i'm doing. i signed it in the memo section, so it's not going to clear. but this is to tommy hilfiger. i got your money, bro! >> jimmy: i can do that. [ cheers and applause ] i can get that to tommy? >> can you get it to him? >> jimmy: i can get it to tommy. >> you take the whole book. here, rip it out. >> jimmy: i'm gonna get this -- i can get this to tommy. >> 2017, i'm going to start paying taxes, and i'm going to pay tommy hilfiger. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: there it is right there. we can bleep out things. [ applause ] >> it's good, just make sure you don't cash it until october 13th. [ laughter ] should be all right. >> jimmy: you're big time now, though. i saw a video of you sabering a a bottle of champagne. you know what i'm talking about? >> yes, that was a a misunderstanding. [ light laughter ] no, because they were like, "hey, would you" -- this guy comes up to me at a a bar. he was like, "hey, you want to saber?" but i thought he said, "saver." i thought he said, "do you want to some saver champagne?"
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>> yeah, i want to saver some champagne. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when do i not saver champagne? >> exactly. he comes over with a big old bottle of champagne and a a knife. [ light laughter ] and i'm like, "this dude's insane, but i like him." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we have a video of you, michael che, sabering a a bottle of champagne. we can talk about this, too. there you are. >> ready? >> jimmy: you're wearing tommy hilfiger. >> yeah. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: you were wearing tommy hilfiger. >> i didn't even realize that. [ cheers and applause ] i'm wearing a tommy hilfiger sweater. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it says hilfiger all over the place. you owe him. you owe him money! >> i feel like i owe him slightly less now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: because it's a a commercial of you popping open champagne looking all cool, yeah. >> he could have put me on the boat. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's going to put you on the boat. >> he's got to put me on the boat. >> jimmy: he's going to be psyched out, man, that you made it. >> that was cool. yeah. >> jimmy: well, i thought it would be fun since "weekend
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prime time thursdays at 9:00 on nbc, would you like to saber a a bottle of champagne? [ cheers and applause ] look at this guy. >> oh, man. >> jimmy: it's the real deal. >> this is -- >> jimmy: just for good luck? >> yeah! no, let's do it. >> jimmy: for good measure? >> oh, this is exciting. >> jimmy: now, you know how to do it? >> all right. listen, i'm a pro. i've done this one time. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] to "weekend update"! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "weekend update's" next thursday 9:00 -- [ cheers and applause ] [ pops ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ come on, that's -- now you know what you're doing. >> it takes three times. >> jimmy: that's how you know how you do it. michael che, everybody. "weekend update: summer edition" premieres thursday, august 10th. [ cheers and applause ] live at 9:00p.m. on nbc. we'll be right back with a a performance from george ezra. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you totaled your bra n
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the song is called "don't matter now." call up your deejays, get it streaming, talk about it, download it. his song "budapest" was a a worldwide hit. and he's here tonight, for the tv debut of his new single. performing "don't matter now", please welcome, george ezra! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ sometimes you need to be alone it don't matter now ♪ ♪ shut the door unplug the phone it don't matter now ♪ ♪ speak in a language they don't know it don't matter now ♪ ♪ well i don't think about that stuff no i don't think a
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that stuff ♪ ♪ it don't matter now ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo ♪ ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo ♪ ♪ build a castle out of sand it don't matter now ♪ ♪ it won't last and it won't stand it don't matter now ♪ ♪ but with a suitcase in your hand it don't matter now ♪ ♪ well i don't think about that stuff no i don't think about that stuff ♪ ♪ it don't matter now ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo ♪ ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo ♪ ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo ♪ ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo ♪
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♪ bad man running your hometown surf your way on through the crowd ♪ ♪ it don't matter now change your name you won't be found it don't matter now ♪ ♪ well i don't think about that stuff no i don't think about that stuff ♪ ♪ it don't matter now ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo ♪ ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo it don't matter now ♪ ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo ♪ ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo it don't matter now ♪ ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo ♪
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doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo it don't matter now ♪ ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo ♪ ♪ doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo doo-doo it really don't matter now ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, good to see you, pal. thank you so much. george ezra! [ cheers and applause ] "don't matter now" is available now. we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [background chatter] [cup hits floor] [tray clatters on table] [improvised musical sounds]
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[improvised musical sounds] [bell rings] welcome to our school!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to halle berry, michael che, george ezra once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye, bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- rob lowe. chat and music from brad paisley. featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. a new quinnipiac poll found that 33% of people approve of the job president trump is doing. unfortunately, they're all under investigation. [ laughter ]


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