tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC January 1, 2018 11:34pm-12:37am EST
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bilal. >> questlove: 720! colorado! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! ah, makes me feel good. thank you so much, everybody. welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." thank you for being here. [ cheers and applause ] this is a good show to be at. welcome. well, here's what people are talking about.
middle of his 17 day trip to his new jersey golf course, but he says it isn't a vacation. [ light laughter ] and the staff at the white house said, "for us it is." [ laughter and applause ] "never been happier." but trump's not the only one taking a break. the kremlin just released photos of vladimir putin on vacation. this is real, take a look at this photo, yeah -- [ laughter ] putin was like, "forget about the dad bod, feast your eyes on the vlad bod." that's the -- "vlad bod." [ laughter and applause ] as much as people complain about trump going on vacation, at least he keeps his shirt on. [ laughter and applause ] and get this, mike pence is denying speculation that he wants to be elected president in 2020. pence was like, "i think you mean re-elected president in 2020." [ light laughter ] [ applause ] and listen to this, former communications director anthony scaramucci wants to turn his time in the white house into a sitcom. [ light laughter ]
networks says it's impossible, because sitcoms have to last at least thirty minutes. >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] hey-o! >> jimmy: not enough time -- >> steve: hey! hey! >> jimmy: speaking of -- speaking of tv, i saw that "game of thrones" uses ikea rugs as capes -- [ light laughter ] for the knight's watch. you know that? >> steve: no. >> jimmy: ikea rugs, yeah. you know that your character's not going to be around for long when they spend 36 bucks on your costume. [ laughter and applause ] "i'm gonna die, right?" "yep." and tonight was the finale of "the bachelorette." [ cheers ] millions of people tuned into the finale to see who rachel would spend the rest of her summer with. [ laughter and applause ] here's a local story. i read that mayor bill de blasio wants to tax the wealthiest 1% of new yorkers to pay for subway repairs. [ cheers ] in response, wealthy new yorkers said, "what is a a subway?" [ laughter ] it's a train -- it's train that -- oh, forget it. you guys, college football is starting up soon. i saw at
[ cheers ] baylor's assistant coaches decided to have a race against a robotic tackling dummy. so he wanted to race the robot and he actually won. well, kind of, watch this -- [ yelling ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: oop, there you go. nice -- nice, a spare. yeah. and finally, the fda just recalled a brand of instant coffee because it contains the same ingredients as viagra and cialis. [ cheers ] on the bright side, it definitely helps you get up in the morning. >> steve: oh! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, you guys, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys, it is monday.
we're very happy to be back. we have a big week of shows coming up. billy crystal will be here. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: comes tomorrow. brie larson will be here. anthony anderson will be here. naomi watts -- [ cheers and applause ] and we'll have performances from brett eldredge and kesha. [ cheers and applause ] pretty good. but first, we have a great show tonight. oh, i love our guests tonight. he stars in a great new movie called "the only living boy in new york." it is in select theaters this friday. jeff bridges is here tonight. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: love that guy. plus, from the new movie "ingrid goes west", aubrey plaza is on the show tonight. >> steve: yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: funny, she can act. she produces this movie. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah, i want to talk to her about that. we're going to catch up with aubrey. then we're going to play a game called "think fast." >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: yeah. and then, performing -- this is a great -- i love it when we get to do something to -- something like this. performing their song from the critically acclaimed film "detroit", the roots and bilal are closing the show tonight. >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: what a song. i don't know what else to say to you guys, but wow, you gotta be proud of this one. this is just a powerful, powerful -- >> questlove: very proud. >> tariq: yeah. >> jimmy: how did -- how did this come about? do they -- did they call you? or did they say do you have an idea for a song? >> questlove: they asked us if we had an idea. you know, the movie takes place in the late '60s detroit. so, we decided to -- there's a a studio in brooklyn that has an 8-track machine just like they did back in hitsville, for motown. and we created a song that sounds like it was made in '67. >> jimmy: it really does. i go, this is beautiful. i know you had a song in the movie, i didn't know that it is the song. >> questlove: the song. >> jimmy: at the end of the main -- it's "the" song. >> questlove: "the" song. >> jimmy: you guys did such a a great job. i'm so -- i don't want to say proud, but it's like they're my sons. [ light laughter ] i'm proud of you guys. i love you guys and i'm just so psyched for this. and it's a beautiful performance tonight. so stay tuned for that. and congratulations again, the roots. [ cheers and applause ]
"it ain't fair" is the song. guys, as we all know, a lot of news organizations rely on polls to determine how regular americans feel about certain political issues. but the polling industry is always trying to remain relevant. so they've been releasing a lot of new polls about everyday life. i'll show you what i mean in our segment called "tonight show" polls. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tonight show polls ♪ >> steve: staying relevant. >> jimmy: yeah. the first poll asked, "what's been your favorite summertime activity?" >> steve: oh, okay. >> jimmy: 10% said "going to the beach." 20% said "hanging by the pool." 70% said "cleaning out my desk at the white house." >> steve: wow! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's their favorite summertime activity. >> steve: that's what their favorite summertime activity is. >> jimmy: this next poll asked, "how should white house leaks be controlled?" 59% said "tighter security." 40% said "wiretapping." bernie sanders said, "depends." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: wait a second! [ rim shot ] >> jimmy: then they --
sharknado 5?" [ light laughter ] 50% said "yes, it's a fun summer movie." 49% said "no, it's too silly for me." donald trump said, "yes, it's a a very important documentary." >> steve: wow! [ applause ] >> jimmy: is this -- >> steve: it's not a a documentary! >> jimmy: it's not a a documentary. >> steve: it's not. >> jimmy: this poll asked, "why don't you hang up?" 30% said "no, you hang up." [ light laughter ] 30% said "no, you hang up first." [ laughter ] 30% said "okay, on the count of three, let's both hang up." [ light laughter ] 10% said, "hello?" [ laughter and applause ] these are polls about everyday life. >> steve: these are polls about everything under the sun. >> jimmy: yeah. this next one asks, "do you think technology is getting too advanced?" 50% said "yes." 49% said "i think it's fine." alexa said, "i heard, 'do you think courtney b. vance?' is that right?" [ laughter and applause ] do you think courtney b. vance? >> steve: courtney b. vance for -- yeah. >> jimmy: this next poll asked "anthony scaramucci?" [ light laughter ] 50% said "aayy!" 50% said "oooh!" [ laughter and applause ]
middle. 50/50. >> jimmy: 50/50, yeah. >> steve: "ay" and "oh." >> jimmy: next they asked, "did rachel make the right decision on 'the bachelorette?'" 55% said "absolutely." 44% said "no way." the "wah-boom" guys said, "there is no right or wrong when it comes to matters of the heart." [ laughter ] "by mere gesture of choosing to participate in this television show though, all involved have shown bravery and resolve. and i think that everyone should aspire to be in the private and public lives alike. in hindsight, my employment of this silly catch phrase, when faced with rejection, was likely just masking some underlying insecurity. i am who i am though. and after a period of self reflection, i look forward to taking lessons i learned while participating in 'the bachelorette' to my next endeavor, be they romantic or otherwise. also, waaahh-boom!" [ laughter and applause ] that's what the "wah-boom" guy -- >> steve: that's what the "wah-boom" guy said. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: and then he added "wah-boom" at the end of that thoughtful sentence. >> jimmy: i like the -- i like the "wah-boom" guy. >> steve: you loved him. >> jim:
>> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: what'd it say? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "the tonight show." >> steve: what are you -- oh, "the tonight show?" >> jimmy: yeah, it was a tank top. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: and it's like a size small. [ laughter ] >> steve: it was like a half shirt? >> jimmy: well, on me it would be, yeah. [ light laughter ] i think it's a normal shirt, but i don't wear tank tops and i don't wear size small. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: but the -- clearly the "wah-boom" guy doesn't -- doesn't have any idea who i am. [ laughter ] he thinks i'm a small man. >> steve: that guy looks like he'd love a tank top. >> jimmy: this last poll asked, "have you seen 'the lion king' on broadway?" 50% said "nah." and 50% said -- ♪ nants ingonyama [ laughter and applause ] that's all we have for "tonight show" polls. stick around. we'll be right back with jeff bridges, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a golden globe and academy award winning actor whose new film "the only living boy in new york" opens in select theaters this friday. put it together for a very talented man, jeff bridges, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: looking great, brother. i like the pocket square. >> yeah. >> jimmy: thanks for coming back. i want to thank you for also -- for naming my truck. i don't know if you remember this. >> oh, i do. i do, actually, yeah. i named after my brother beau's middle name. >> jimmy: vernet. >> vernet. >> jimmy: yeah, never heard that, yeah. [ light laughter ] i have the fanciest truck name in the world. [ talking over each ot]
i love it. >> it's nice, isn't it? >> jimmy: and then we talked about it because i saw your wallet before the show, and i talked about your wallet, and you brought it out, and then you showed photos. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: of the first -- is it the first night you met your wife maybe? >> well one of the first. no, very first words i ever spoke to my wife. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it just happened that the makeup man on the show took a picture. and i found out 15 years later, after we've been married, you know, for a long time, had three kids. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i got this letter from the guy. and it said i took a picture of you asking a local girl out and it happened to be my -- of my wife. >> jimmy: wow. [ light laughter ] >> and she turned me down. >> jimmy: she said no? [ light laughter ] >> i have a photograph of that, yeah. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: but now you've been married 40 years. >> 40 years! >> jimmy: four-zero. [ cheers and applause ] come on, buddy. >> come on. oh! >> jimmy: that's so great. how fun is that, right? >> we were just in montana and this used to drive our -- my girls crazy, but we -- you know, go to this restat
where this picture was taken, we always re-enact that moment. so you could imagine, you know, the girls at eight or nine, you know. >> jimmy: i can see it right now. >> don't -- don't do it, mom and dad, don't do it. then we're doing it. >> jimmy: oh, it's so cute. that's so romantic. >> and now they kind of dig it, you know. now it's a nostalgia. >> jimmy: that's part of the whole thing. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you go to the same bar where you met? >> we almost can't help it. you know, you pass -- [ light laughter ] come let's do the pose. and you know -- it's like, "will you go out?" and she goes, "no." [ light laughter ] i love it. >> jimmy: isn't that great? that's super fun. let's talk about your movie, "the only living boy in new york." >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's fantastic! >> it's good, huh? >> jimmy: yeah. >> oh, man. yeah. >> jimmy: i love it but i read somewhere you said, like, you try hard to not do movies. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and what is -- because when a good script comes, you go, "i got to do this one." >> it's like that -- what is that -- what godfather -- pacino says, "i tried to get out and then they --" >> jimmy: then he pulled me back in. yeah, yeah. >> everybody's too cool, you know. when the script is -- the story is too great, you know, the cast is too great. this one's got a wonderf
>> jimmy: oh, fantastic cast. >> great. >> jimmy: you play a mentor to a young boy. i don't want to get in to too much about the film. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you should check it out. it's great. >> yeah. callum turner, i think we're going to be hearing a lot from this guy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he's really something. >> jimmy: i don't know him. >> yeah, he is terrific. he's really, really great. >> jimmy: who are your mentors in your real life? >> well, i've had quite a few. i'm thinking -- one of the early one was burgess meredith. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, you know the penguin from batman. >> jimmy: yeah. good point. [ light laughter ] >> among his many roles. >> jimmy: mickey from "rocky." >> there you go. yeah. >> jimmy: "grumpier old men" and "grumpy old man." >> oh, man he's -- >> jimmy: hilarious. >> a wondeful guy. >> jimmy: how did you meet burgess meredith? >> this is back in the late '60s. reading my second film, called "the yin and yang of mr. go." >> jimmy: really? >> and we shot it in hong kong. james mason played the chinese-mexican in it. [ light laughter ] [ talking over each other ] and we had a wonderful time. and a
me onto another mentor. do you know who john lilly is? >> jimmy: no. do i? >> he's the man who invented the isolation tank. >> jimmy: oh, i know this. >> yeah, they made a movie, what was the name of the movie with william hurt? it was loosely based on this guy's life. >> jimmy: what's an isolation tank? this like -- >> it's -- sensory deprivation is another term for it where they try to -- >> jimmy: i can't think of -- >> see what happens if you don't have any input coming in. you know, you're in like a big coffin kind of thing. the water is filled up about here. you got a thousand pounds of salt in it, so you float. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it's 98.6 so you don't know even know you're there, basically. your ears are underwater. it's dark. and what happens -- what goes on. you know. >> jimmy: what does happen? >> all kinds of stuff, man. i mean, you know. [ light laughter ] all kinds of stuff that -- you know, you're not really aware
of how much is really happening inside, how much you're projecting on everything that's going on, until there's nothing going on. then you realize it is all coming from inside, man! [ light laughter ] yeah. >> jimmy: i feel really -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: i just -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: i just -- yeah. we all just got a lesson -- [ cheers and applause ] a lesson from the dude right there. >> yeah, man. >> jimmy: so wait -- so john lilly -- >> so john lilly -- and this is before i knew anything about it. the first thing he said -- he said "get out" three times. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> just so you program that you can get out, that you're not, you know, prisoner. because when you're anxious, you get scared, right? >> jimmy: of course. >> you're frightened. so you're getting in this thing, you're kind of scared. in my mind i'm thinking, this guy john lilly, he looked a a little weird. he was in a jumpsuit. and did he have breasts? [ light laughter ] is tso
yeah, yeah. and then he said, "no, just settle man. that's you mind, man. just -- quiet." you know? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this is great. then what does he do? what if he locked the thing? >> exactly. all that stuff that goes through your mind. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that goes through your mind. >> jimmy: you got to really trust that guy. >> and so -- you know, that happens all the time. like, you know, see, that's the thing, we tell ourselves these little stories, man. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we get, you know, sidetracked. >> jimmy: i love it. >> you get yourself in trouble, you know. >> jimmy: see, this is like a a life lesson. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is a life lesson right here. yeah. >> i hear you're a meditator, right? >> jimmy: i'm getting into it. >> you're getting into it. >> jimmy: yeah. baby steps. i'm like -- >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: dipping my toe in the immersion tank. >> yeah. >> jimmy: no, i've never done that tank but i will. >> yeah, well, it's really interesting. another mentor, speaking of meditation, was this guy bernie glassman. he's a famous zen master. wonderful guy. and i was sitting in a dinner between him and ram dass, you know tuy
>> jimmy: yeah. >> and bernie leans over to me and he says, "you realize in many bhuddist circles, the dude is considered the zen master." [ light laughter ] i said, "what are you talking about? man, we never talked any spiritual thing." he says, "oh, yeah!" you know what a koan is? a zen koan, you've heard of that? >> jimmy: koan. >> you know, it's like, what is the south of one hand clapping? >> jimmy: yeah. koan. >> he says, "look who wrote 'the big lebowski.' the coen brothers." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: the coen -- close enough. >> he says, "lebowski's filled with koans. i'm going to bring these bhuddist ideas into modern times." i said, "well, give me an example." he says, "the dude abides." koan. come on. i said, "coen." [ light laughter ] or -- can you -- you can't swear here, the beep me or what, no? >> jimmy: yeah -- >> don't do it? >> jimmy: no bleep. you can do it. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> shut the [ bleep ] up, donny. [ light laughter ] that's a koan. >> jimmy: that's a koan? >> yeah, man, as you get into this, you'll see, you know. >> jimmy: yeah -- >>
just like your opinion, man. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i love that. that is a good one. >> yeah, that's good one. >> jimmy: that's just like your opinion, man. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i love having you on. i could talk to you for three hours. but i have -- >> yeah, i know. >> jimmy: i can't but i love you. i love you. >> all right, okay. >> jimmy: i love having you on. >> show a clip, man. >> jimmy: i want to show a clip of your movie, "the only living boy in new york." here is jeff bridges. it's in theaters friday. check this out. >> how old is mimi? >> she's 22, she just turned 22. >> she's young. >> yeah. >> she's at an age where defense mechanisms are very strong, despite her outer veneer, she's ruled by fear. like so many of us at that time. what you need to do -- just make her afraid of something more than being with you in that way. >> which is? >> not being with you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it right there. jeff bridges. "the only living boy in
theaters friday. aubrey plaza joins us after the break. stick around, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] resolut. join the un-carrier, and get four unlimited lines for only forty bucks each. plus, netflix for the whole family. on us. so, they get their shows... let's go, girl! you're gonna love this bit! and you get yours. watch however you want. on your phone, tablet, or tv. for just forty bucks per line. with no extra charges. let's rock this joint! all on america's best unlimited network, t-mobile.
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>> jimmy: welcome, welcome. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back to the show. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: we have something in common. we both worked at video stores. >> oh really? >> jimmy: yeah. i loved -- did you love working in a video -- >> yes. >> jimmy: which one did you work in? >> i worked at a family owned video store called classic video in high school in delaware. >> jimmy: in delaware. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i worked at video ii. >> oh nice. >> jimmy: like, the roman numeral 2. not like video, also. video ii. >> oh cool. >> jimmy: and there wasn't a a video one, which was very interesting. >> that's weird. >> jimmy: they just started with the sequel. yeah, i guess, just went right into it. >> wow. >> jimmy: but, i love -- i love renting the movies, and -- did you -- >> i know. i rented a lot of movies, i was the only person that worked in the store, so, and we had like, an adult porn section. so that was always really awkward. >> jimmy: yeah. >> because i would have to rent
knew. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] i did that too. it's very odd. >> it's a small town. >> jimmy: a small town, it's very odd. yeah, yeah, yeah. it's very weird. >> but it was cool. i got to watch -- i watched a lot of movies over and over again. i discovered john waters, and christopher guest, and all kinds of my favorite movies. >> jimmy: which ones would you -- which ones would you rent a a lot. because you got free rentals. obviously, it's a perk. >> yeah. i think i probably rented "the matchmaker" starring janeane garofalo over and over, and over again. >> jimmy: really? >> i think i've see that more than anyone in the world. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: "the matchmaker." i love -- >> have you seen it? >> jimmy: yeah. did she go to ireland or something? >> yes, she goes to ireland, and she's like what the [ bleep ]. [ light laughter ] oh, sorry. >> jimmy: that's the plot of the movie. [ light laughter ] i think that was the porn that you were watching. [ light laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: let's talk about your -- "ingrid goes west." >> yes. >> jimmy: you produced this as well. >> i did. >> jimmy: well, how's it like -- did you have fun with that, or no? >> yeah, it was really fun. it was definitely --
really hard to act, and produce at the same time. there were a lot of crazy -- especially with our production, there were just so many crazy things that happened. >> jimmy: basically a producer is like a problem solver. you have to -- >> yeah, pretty much, you're just trying to put out fires, and prevent disasters, and our shoot had so many disasters, natural disasters. at one point there was the santa clarita fire was in the distance, coming at us and we had to evacuate. we were in the fire path. um, that was fun. at one point our director went through a sliding glass door after he yelled cut, he turned just around and went right through, and it shattered, and he had glass all over him, and me and the gaffers were with duct tape trying to get pieces of glass off of him, and he went to the hospital. there was just like, stuff like that -- >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> but it was really fun and we had a great cast. [ light laughter ]
>> jimmy: okay, yeah. well you do have a great cast. >> yeah ohshea jackson jr. is in it. he -- >> jimmy: how is he? >> he is awesome. he totally kept the morale up. he would postmates like 20 boxes of krispy cream donuts, and chicken wings every day, and just hand them out. >> how did you get him in the movie? he -- i actually dm'd him on twitter. >> jimmy: oh, you did? >> i was like, will you be on the movie. on twitter, weirldy enough. it is a longer story, but i basically met him randomly kind of, and then i just thought wow, he might be really funny. and then it turned out that he actually was -- is obsessed with batman in real life, his character is obsessed with batman in the movie. so, it was kind of this, like weird, cosmic connection that we had. and also it had a lot to do with the film because in the film it's very -- it's about instagram, and kind of how you can be obsessed with someone on
>> jimmy: are you on instagram? >> i am now, yeah. >> jimmy: after the movie. >> yes. >> jimmy: are you good at instagramming. >> no. i don't think so. >> jimmy: i'm awful. i'm bad. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, do you take pictures of sun sets, and brunch, and stuff? >> i -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i feel like that's all i see. it's like, oh look at the sunset, and look at my brunch. you go, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i've got like, 12 avocado toast, and i go okay, let's do it. >> no, i'm really bad at it. i don't take selfies. i'm not good at that. i honestly joined recently, and so did elizabeth olson. we both joined after -- >> jimmy: i love elizabeth olsen. >> yeah, she's in the movie, she plays the girl that i'm obsessed with. >> jimmy: it's almost like a a "single white female," but now. >> yes, it is like a "single white female," but a modern take where my character becomes obsessed with elizabeth olson's character on instagram, so much so that i move across the country, and start stalking her in real life to become her bestie. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's good. i want to show everyone a clip, here is aubrey plaza i"i
♪ >> the couple that yogas together, stays together. a perfect day, for a perfect life. yep. that's how we roll. all my favorite cuties. #lust. #perfect. #forreal. i know. >> hi charlie. >> ingrid. >> congratulations. [ screams ] bite me, you [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. you did it. you did it. aubrey and i are playing think fast when we come back. [ cheers and applause ] stick around everybody. you did it! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ start the car! start the car! the ikea winter sale. wooooooo! get up to 50% off select items. now through january 10th. ikea. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everyone. we are here with aubrey plaza. now -- [ cheers and applause ] that was a great scene, by the way. who was that person? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: now, aubrey, you have to do a lot of improvising in the roles that you play, which means you have to be very quick on your feet. well, i want to test out your skills and see just how quickly you can think on the spot. it is time for "think fast!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ think fast >> jimmy: there you go. here's how it works. we're going to take turns drawing one of these cards. each card has five totally random questions on it. one on
question as soon as it's asked. and i mean immediately. it doesn't matter if the answer is right or wrong, just has to be the very first thing that pops in your head. >> and how do we win? [ light laughter ] doesn't matter. it doesn't matter. >> jimmy: doesn't matter. doesn't matter. >> doesn't matter. >> jimmy: don't think like that. don't think like that. >> doesn't matter. >> jimmy: aubrey, because you're the guest, i'll read your questions first. >> okay. >> jimmy: you ready for this? >> no. >> jimmy: no, me neither. [ light laughter ] here we go. this is "think fast!" >> okay, should i shut my eyes? doesn't matter. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you can shut your eyes if you want to. >> okay. >> jimmy: ready? >> no. >> jimmy: here we go. >> okay. >> jimmy: who stole my bike helmet? >> my mom. >> jimmy: why -- [ light laughter ] does bread taste so good? >> it's got things in it. >> jimmy: what's the theme of this year's homecoming dance? >> yellow forks, forks. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: how do doctors like to relax? >> smoking it up, baby. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: describe kevin. >> uh -- he sucks. he always -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. stop, stop. [ cheers and applause ] what's wrong with you? >> i don't k
>> jimmy: what's wrong with you? >> so many things. >> jimmy: you can't do that. >> i know. >> jimmy: you can't do that. >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: no that wasn't the game but yeah -- >> can we redo it? >> jimmy: no! >> damn it! >> jimmy: you can't do that. >> okay. >> jimmy: how many times have you seen "the matchmaker?" >> i don't know. i'm -- >> jimmy: all right. all right. [ laughter ] >> i don't deserve to be here. >> jimmy: yes, you -- aubrey here. >> okay. >> jimmy: these are your questions here. >> okay. >> jimmy: you read it and i'll answer them as randomly, fast as possible. >> okay. set, go. what are computers made out of? >> jimmy: cardboard. >> where's the ballroom dance this year? >> jimmy: upstairs. >> why do you hate debra? >> jimmy: because she's such a -- bitch! [ light laughter ] >> what's the combination of a a zebra and a hippo called? >> jimmy: a zippopotamus. [ laughter ] >> say something to impress me. >> jimmy: hi, there. [ laughter and applause ] [ ding ] does that impress you? >> when you went, "hi, there." >> jimmy: hi, there. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, i liked that. >> jimmy: that's what i'm saying, yeah. i just wanted to impress you. all right, here we go. >> okay. >>
in this round we both pick -- >> not me. don't pick me. [ light laughter ] okay. >> jimmy: we have to. >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: you're on the show. >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i promise. okay. >> jimmy: here's the way it's going work. >> okay. >> jimmy: we're both going to pick up a card with the same set of questions. i'll ask one at a time going back and forth. i'll go first and then you. >> okay. >> jimmy: you'll see how -- >> so the answer is the question? >> jimmy: no. >> okay. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you answer with an answer, then you ask me the question. >> copy that. roger. [ light laughter ] over and out. >> jimmy: copy that. all right, ready for this? >> nope. >> jimmy: okay. [ light laughter ] when is hanukkah? >> tonya harding. [ light laughter ] who is the greatest dancer of all time? >> jimmy: courtney. [ light laughter ] what do i keep under my desk? >> uh -- snakes. what's my middle name? >> jimmy: daschle. [ light laughter ] what is your dentist doing right now? >> watching tv. [ light laughter ] how do you say pancake in german? >> jimmy: panakaka. [ laughter ] why did you get banned from using uber? >> i smacked him in the face. right in the face. [ light laughter ]
cereal for dogs? >> jimmy: chubby-wow-wow. >> chubby -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what is the deal with chairs? >> they're just so awesome. i sit in them. sing me a song. ♪ oh it is your birthday oh it is your day oh it is your birthday just one day of the year ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that was "think fast!" with aubrey plaza. [ cheers and applause ] "ingrid goes west" is in select theaters august 11th. it opens nationwide august 25th. stick around, we'll be right back with a performance from the roots and bilal! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ at ally, we offer low-cost trades and high-yield savings. but if that's not enough, we offer innovative investing tools to prepare you for the future.
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♪ under 21 is far too young to die ♪ ♪ my salvation's under fire this marks a rising of the tide ♪ ♪ every day i wear a mask like an umpire yes a -- gotta laugh to keep from crying ♪ ♪ tonight another friend passed on the young side it's bad cause a good friend's hard to come by ♪ ♪ justice is never color blind never gun shy ♪ ♪ the one crime you may never see the sun shine ♪ ♪ we know of one times giving you the finger hearing me you it ain't the number one sign ♪ ♪ i hear they turning downtown to the front line it's something like the same place but it ain't safe ♪ ♪ they took it from the human race to a tank chase the devil feeding off hate so he gain weight ♪ ♪ there's tainted water in the well so we can't taste people dazed and amazed though it ain't grace ♪ ♪ impossible to co-exist in the same space enter the black saint with the war paint face ♪ ♪ hey all right
talk to them brother ♪ ♪ this generation we've forsaken all that's real ♪ ♪ what emotions do we feel ♪ ♪ is your poison called a pistol or a pill ♪ ♪ some people say let jesus take the wheel others say thou shall not kill ♪ ♪ but that old time religion ain't gonna pay my bills ♪ ♪ we've come so far yet here we are bruised and scarred presumed inferior ♪ ♪ we ain't scared of y'all it ain't fair ♪ ♪ it's hard when you're looking for love and it ain't there ♪ ♪ or try to read what tomorrow holds when it ain't clear ♪
is running dry racial tension running high ♪ ♪ under 21 is far too young to die ♪ ♪ my salvation's under fire rising rising of the tide ♪ ♪ to my arab israeli native american mexicans invested in wrestling ♪ ♪ with willie lynch's next of kin the rising of the tied ♪ ♪ noose around the necks again look at how they try to hide proof of all the excellence ♪ ♪ the only tag you know me as is holy swag ♪ ♪ through any glass window we smash and bro we back ♪ ♪ it's come to pass i'm unabashed so we have ♪ ♪ an awareness of the only flag that's growing fast ♪ ♪ i guess i'm trying to minimize arrests i identify with death ♪ ♪ that don't mean it's not an uninvited guest ♪ ♪ i'm just trying to answer all of my requests ♪ ♪ and express in 140 characters or less that i'm the best ♪ ♪ educator re-legislated premeditated ♪ ♪ dedicated heavy weight that ever paid it with blood ♪ ♪ not tuition i got a pot to piss in without a cop's permission ♪ ♪ despite the opposition listen ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ oh it ain't fair it's hard when you're looking for love and it ain't there ♪ ♪ or try to read what tomorrow holds and it ain't clear ♪ ♪ because the well is running dry and it ain't fair ♪ ♪ no it ain't fair no it ain't fair ♪ ♪ looking for justice and it's just us it ain't fair ♪ ♪ there's a riot going on out there and it ain't fair ♪ ♪ when
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight carey mulligan, from "lady bird," actress beanie feldstein, cooking with chef danny bowien, featuring the 8g band with michel'le baptiste. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. it was reported about an hour ago that donald trump jr. carried on a 10-month-long secret correspondence with wikileaks during the presidential campaign and the months following. wow, it's go