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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  May 31, 2019 11:34pm-12:38am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> steve: welcome to "the tonight show!" and here's your host jimmy fallon ♪ [ cheers and applause
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>> jimmy: oh, my goodness. look at that [ cheers and applae lcome. i love you shwelcome to "the tonight ow." you're here, you made it sit down, relax, have a good time, you guys give it up for the roots while [ cheers and applause good to see you, guys. you guys, it is the weekend. and this sunday mother's day. [ cheers and applause happy mother's day to all the moms out there i read that people spend $8 billion more on mother's day than father's day. [ laughter ] brwhich makes sense since unch and jewelry cost a little more than scratch off tickets and a a six-pack of coors. [ laughter [ applause ] happy father's day i heard that for mother's day, americans spend $2 billion on electronics. and they spend 2 billion hours showing their moms how to use them [ laughter ]
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[ applause ] like, "no, mom, just say alexado you t call alexa there's no phoned. mom just -- oh, go [ laught ] but with mother's day just two days away, aopot of people are shng for that perfect card and while there are lots of good choices, there are also some very unpopular cards out ere. i'll show you what i mean. first, this card says, "mom, you're always right there. open it upvend it says, "whenei'm watching a game of thrones and a sex scene starts." [ laughter ] [ applause ] get out of here! gosh next, this card says, "you're the best mom." you open it up, it says, "even though you never once referred to me as the royal baby. [ laughter ] [ applause ] s,d finally, this card say "mom, i love youu thank yor bribing me into college. and that's it. alaughter ] [ cheers applause it's very specific >> steve: veryweet >> j newslet's get to some the race for 2020 is heating up and i read that the founder of a fund-raiser for coryooker. yeah, but if you go to an event for linkedin and a presidential candidate, let me tell you something, your email inbox is
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about to explode [ laughter ] [ applause ] it's a lot another linkedin i'm excited about this "the bachelorett is back on monday yeah [ cheers and applause i love it. and this is crazy, i read that one of the contestants has fathered 114 children as a a sperm donor. that's insane. t but bachelorette, sperm donor is one of the more respected professions. [ laughter and applause pretty wild. anyway, can we see some of the season's conteants yeah i think they all have the same father mean, it's, like, the same guy. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: it's the same guy. wait, what >> jimmy: well, you guys, there's a lot going on in the news right now, but instead of me just telling you about it, i thought the chance to decide what we talk about that's right it's time for "you pick the joke." e [ cheers and applaus ♪ ♪ you pick the joke >> jimmy: so, here's how it works.nn i'm show you two news stories, then you guys get to
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pick which one we talk about okay here we go let's take a look at story number one >> the house judiciary committee votes to hold the u.s. attorney general in contempt of congress >> jimmy: okay here's story number two. >> a great grandmother on vacation at disney, arrested d sent to jail all because she had cbd oil in her purse. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause u jimmy: what story do yo want to talk about want to talk about one or two? >> two >> jimmy: that's a good choice that's right, a great grandmother at disney world got arrested for having cbd oil. she was like, "what, i thought you had to be this high to ride the roller coaster." come on! [ cheers and applause ye , you love it, man >> steve: i love it. they take the joke >> jimmy: let's do one more pair of stories. once again, you guys get to pick here's story number e. >> president trump is ratcheting up pressure on china, threatening a new morri severe round of tas if there's no breakthrough in the year long trade war. >> jimmy: here's story number
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two. >> a north carolina woman was arrested last week after federal authorities accused her of trespassing multiple times at cia headquarters and on one occasion asking to speak to agent penis. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right.ic -- >> steve: i don't know that's a tough one >> jimmy: which story do you want to talk about one or two >> two >> jimmy: great choice, great choice yeah, a woman showed up at the cia and asked for agent penis.he when he d that, the president was like, "wait, you guys told me that code name was taken. [ laughter ] [ applause ] this has been "you pick the joke." thank you for picking. [ cheers andpplause ♪ ♪ you pick the joke and finally, you guys, it is friday which means it's time for "the weekly bonk. anderson cooper, you're about to be bonked ♪ >> house speaker pelosi told the new york times on saturday, that she was deeply concerned the president might try to - [ bonk bonk
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[ cheers and applause to >> jimmy: guys, y is friday, and that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, return some emails and, of course, i send out thank you notes. and i was just running a bit behind - [ cheers and applause -- today, so, i thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool with you guys [ cheers and applause you guys are the best. james, can i have some thank you note wting music please? ♪ >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: wow. >> steve: unbuttoned and everything >> jimmy: it looks like he's in a good mood. [ laughter ] ♪ thank you "avengers: endgame," for making billions of dollars or as it's also known, the reverse trump. [ laughter ] [ applause ] a billion dollars? >> steve: billion,illion, billion. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, haviniethe name archarrison mountbatten-windsor,
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for being the quickest way to teach the royal baby the entire alphabet [ cheers and applause long name. ♪ thank you new pokemon movie or as bradley cooper calls it, "i just want to take another peek at you." [ cheers and applause >> steve: come on! come on! ♪ [ chee i and applause giveup♪ [ applause ] >> steve: what is that your pointer what is that >> jimmy: i have nisidea what hing is at all [ laughter ] what is this thing >> steve: i think it was a a proctologist sketch. [ laughter >> jimmy: weird props back
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there. ♪ thank you, biking to work, fer letting my co-worksee exactly which of my sweat glands are the most active [ laughter ] applause ] ♪ thank you, chargers so large they take up more than one plug, for being the man spreaders of the electrical outlets. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪ thank you golf announcers, for being the original asmr. [ laughter ] [ applause ] he's on the green and this is for par. he's on the green and this is for par. [ laughter ]
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my facebook's on i think i'm getting poked. [ laughter ] >> steve: come on, i'm an old man. >> jimmyi'm an old man what do you want me to do. [ laughter ] ♪ thank you giant group texts, for giving my pants a chance to vibrate for a full hour. [ laughter ] there you go those are my "thank you notes. [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with emma tchmpson, everybody [ eers and applause ♪ the men in black demand only the best. suit. e. shades. weapon. and ride. when you're protecting the earth from the scum of the universe, a little extra horsepower never hurts. i'm driving.
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♪ ♪ >> jimmy: yes! that is how you make an entrance right there [ cheers and applause oh >> oh, god >> jimmy: i love - >> oh, god, i'm exhausted. >> jimmy: we have to do the interview first. >> i know. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back on the show you look fantastic i love you you know that i love you >> i love you, tooim >> j: you are hosting "saturday night live" for the first time >> yes >> jimmy: this is very exciting for you. >> i'm literally -- i'm upstairs >> jimmy: yeah, you're two floors away. >> i've come down from rehearsal. >> jimmy: yeah >> where i was wearing rather filthy dungarees, i have to tell you [ laughter ] i was rehearsing and t ty said, "hey, it'se to do 'fallon.'" so i just glammed up, came down two flights. and it's extraordinary: >> jimmyyeah >> those people, how do they do
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it ri>> jimmy: it's amazing, t? isn't it fun >> i mean, i used to write sketch comedy, but i mean, i did it over months and during the say. so maybe that's why it didn't work out >> jmy: i didn't work out? [ laughter ] yeah, you had a show called "thompson. >> yes, i did. i did. >> jimmy: how many episode were there >> there were six. >> jimmy: that's good. [ laughter ] >> six half hours. >> jimmy: yeah, that's more than five. >> it is more than five. yes. >> jimmy: and less than seven, yes. what was the show about, really >> it was -- welat it was all the thhings i had ever thought about. i mean, my -- the first sketch was about autocannibalism which was my last word on dieting. you know, so you kind of ate yourself to within an optimum body weight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's kind of genius >> some people would, like, cut pieces off of themselves, the pieces they didn't like and eat them >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> so, yeah, it was kind of ird. >> jimmy: kind of dark [ laughter ] >> yeah, sort of dark. absolutely >> jimmy: yeah >> but anyway. nd jimmy: you also did stap comedy as well >> i did >> jimmy: how was that >> well, it depended on when i did it for instance, at the time, a a lot of my material was about herpes andargaret thatcher j
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my: wow. [ laughter ] who were both very big at the time and kind of similar [ laughter ] you know >> jimmy: that's really good, >> bmean, i did stand up at political rallies >> jimmy: oh >> i did stand up on nelson's conan >> jimmy: yeah >> in front of 64,000 people at, get this, a reagan out rally. >> jimmy: wow! >> yeah, yeah. i'm that old [ laughter ], no i mean, no, i mean, what a gig that is. you do stand up there. >> yeah, it was a terrible gig i died a horrible, horrible death. >> jimmy: really >> no, no. you don't -- you mustn't ever do jokes at a political rally. >> jimmy: yeah >> because everyone's so cross >> jimmy: so serious and so mad at you >> just mad, mad you know, and people come up and just say, "why don't you just shut up." >> "stop -- this is st just shut up." you know, and i've got - >> jimmy: and you go, "anyways --" >> i'm not ronald reagan >> jimmy: yeah the country but please don't get cross with me. >> jimmy: you just got a big honor. you just became a dame
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>> yes >> jimmy: that's a -- congratulations. >> thank you [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: look at you. you look fantastic look at you right there with prince williamat i think pretty cool i want to -- i want to talk about your movie very excited about thi "late night. >> yes >> jimmy: very interesting to me yeah >> just playing a late night talk show host >> jimmy: wh's that all about? >> i don't know. [ laughter ] everything i know about talk show hosting, i learned from you. >> jimmy: thank you, oh, my goodnessyo heard it here first. [ cheers and applause you heard it here. i cannot wait. i mean, this is written by mindy kaling, right? >> yes wonderful, darling, brilliant mindy kaling who wrote me and said, "coube i meet with you, cause i've written something for you. which my heart frankly sank because when people write thin for you, it's often nota good . >> jimmy: ye >> but if something's designed for you, it often doesn't -- i just -- oh, god. okay and then i read it, and it was
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one of the best scripts i have ever read. >> jimmy: it's getting rave reviews.n congrats oat >> well, thank you, thank you.wh >> jimmy: is it basically about. i mean, i know you play a talk show host. but -- >> i play a talk show host who's been at the top of her game and of course, as you know, there are no female late night talk show hosts at all so she's held on to that -- that crown with fierceness and commitment but she's kind of lost her edge and she's gone a bit complacent and she has no women at all on her writing team and it's about this young woman who is a great fan and wants to write in a writer's room like, you know, "snl" upstairs and, i mean, i've just seen it all, the real thing. >> jimmy: yeah >> absolutely extraordinary. >> jimmy: amazing. >> and it's so the same, it's the same and like, you know, everyone's sits in their own particular place, and thera's all sorts of ste undercurrents going on i'm saying nothing [ laughter ] and mindy's just -- she just is so brilliant and it's very smart. and it makes a lot of very good points without making points >> jimmy: yeah
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>> do you ow what i mean >> jimmy: yeah of course i do yeah >> i'm very proud of it. and everyone in it is so good. >> jimmy: i eant to show everyone a clip. here's emma thompson in "late night. take a look at this. >> i came to tell you this year is your last >> what? >> this season is your last. >> you're cancelling the show? >> no, i'm cancelling you. the show is irrelevantt the ratings reflecat do you know who jimmy fallon had on last tuesday when you had doris kearns goodwin robert downey jr they washed a sheepdog together that's [ bleep ] glorious. [ laught and applause >> jimmy: that's right that is rit. >> oh, gosh. >> jimmy: emma thompson, you know, there's only one thing left to do >> yeah, you can see it comingd >> jimmy: woulu like to wash a sheepdog together >> yes, yes, yes, of course i would. >> jimmy: come on. [ cheers and applause ♪ hi, buddy. hi - hibuddy.
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hi, pal. hi, buddy. hi, hi oh, what a good boy. >> oh, look. >> jimmy: oh, what a good doggy. >> are you loving this look >> jimmy: good boy [ laughter ] >> you know what, this actually is [ bleep ] glorious. [ laughter and applause >> jimmy: emma thompson, everybody. [ cheers and applause "late night" is in theaters june 7th see her hosting "saturday night live" this weekend we'll be right back with sophie turner. stick around, everybody. sophie turner. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ai unlocks the art of science. when you open a bo of beer, i don't think manyeople actually know the level of science that's filled into that bottle. back to produce a new beer.berg several years but using microsoft artificial intelligence, we will be able to detect new flavors in a split second and develop better beers faster. with ai, we redefine what's possible. so cheers!
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welcome sophie turner. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> please sit. >> jimmy: i know, please >> sit >> jimmy: no, you sit. >> you have to sit first >> jimmy: yeah, i know >> it's polite >> jimmy: i love your accent >> oh, thank you i love yours j >>my: oh, really >> yeah. >> jimmy: i just grew up in -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: what part of london is this voice? >> it's probably like south london >> jimmy: oh, wow! you can do south london? >> south london. >> jimmy: but how do you make it sound cute? >> i don't think i do. >> jimmy: yeah, you do you sound cute what a year you're having, pal i want to talk about -- dude, you have the -- you're on the biggest show in the world, "game of thrones." you're about to be - a [ cheersnd applause in the biggest movie, "dark phoenix.
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and on top of it all, the best news, you just got married >> i did [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: yes, you did it! >> i did it. >> jimmy: you d it you showed 2019, what's up >> i did >> jimmy: you're like, "2018, hold my er." you know what i'm saying >> hold my beer. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you married joe jonas, who we ve [ cheers and applause look at this guy, oh, my god that's what i'm talking about. look at this couple. [ cheers and applause fashion slays right there. i saw you at the met gala. >> yes, recently >> jimmy: yeah, it was really fun. the theme was camp >> the the was camp. >> jimmy: yes. and so - >> so -- >> jimmy: everyone's very campy. >> everyone was very camp. >> jimmy: yes. [ light laughter ] did you have fun >> i had a great time. i didn't quite know what camp meant. but i figured sequins and colors would do. >> jimmy: sure >> sure, why not i'm matching c isn't that quip? >> jimmy: yeah, ye[ ughter ] it totally is camp, yeah
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>> i had glitter in my hair thll i keep finding in my be button [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's when you know you had a fun night -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: when you find glitter in your belly button >> i had a really good nig yeah >> jimmy: the best part is, it's a cardboard cutout of joe jonas. you didn't even come with him. >> no, i didn't. [ laughter ] >> i'm not actually married to -er [ laught >> jimmy: you're not even really married sure, it's perfect >> no, i just took his cardboard cutout to the little white chapel and married himve >> jimmy: i hactually someone that -- a fan of yours send in a video question >> oh, you did >> jimmy: i did. would you like to take one >> i would love to >> jimmy: this is a question from a fan i think his name is joe. joe, what's your question? >> oh, my god. hi, sophie turner. i'm joe jonas. i'm a huge fan i -- i honestly have a crush on you. bun i have got a big questio for you. i watch a lot of "game of thrones. and i was wondering, you're definitely responsible for that coffee cup, right? [ audience ohs ]im >> j: yes! it was you >> it's not -- let's clear thp. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look, here's the
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scene.'s the scene right her look at thats and this ithe scene. and what is that right there [ laughter ] that is a starbucks coffee cup and you know what's funny is that i saw a picture of you holding a coffee cup [ laughter and applause [ bullhorn ] 'twas you. >> all right, detective pikachu. [ laughter ] this -- okay, let me -- for all of you guys that watch "game of thrones," -- >> jimmy: yeah >> and this is a spoiler for aep a couple of isodes ago this girl dies - [ laughter ]on in episode -- of the episodes and this is the scene from the episode after she dies so, why am i holding this coffee cup that's in a different scene. and also, we all have the same cup for all of our water and tea and everything so i'm just going to go with --
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i mean, look w it's placed in front of [ laughter ] >> jimmy: whoa ] [ audience ohs emilia - >> emilia clarke >> jimmy: really >> she's the culprit [ laughter ] you're a terrible detective. >> jimmy: well, i got that out of you, didn't i d did you -- everyone text each other all the actors on "game of thrones" be like, "dude, did you see the cup? >> well, yeah, no. it was just one text and it was from nikolaj who plays -- >> jimmy: yeah >> jaime lannister and he just wrote, "great episode. is that a coffee cup?"ug [ er ] >> jimmy: i know we can't talk about what's going to happen there's only a couple episodes left >> no, we can. [ cheers and applause no, we can't no, that wasn't -- nope. >> jimmy: god, why do you guys -- you guys all come on the show and you're such good actors. did you see what we -- >> maisie. >> jimmy: with maisie? maisie williams. >> her hands were shaking. she had tears in her eyes. >> jimmy: her acting was so goodha i d doing that bit >> yeah, you - >> jimmy: i felt so bad. i felt bad for her >> she looks like a tiny little girl
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>> jimmy: and she was just crumbling. she thought she did a fake spoiler. it was an april fool's joke d. that we di i don't even like -- i don't even do those jokes. i don't like getting tricked no one, please don't trick me. i don't like it.cking people but then you almost did something. but then you didn't do it. [ laughter ]tell us if you die come on. no, we don't know, but look. look, this is a pain scale ] [ laught pain measurement scale from a doctor's office. now from zero to 10, how much pain will we feel at the end of "game of thrones." not you personally >> the audience? >> jimmy: the audience, yeah >> okay, alright you're going to -- iean, it's probably going to be around -- >> jimmy: noain? >> there [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my >> it will be. >> jimmy: blah >> blah. did i sound very english there >> jimmy: no, it's great >> blah. the thespian the english thespians. >> jimmy: why be here when i can be there [ laughter ] can we talk about "dark phoenix" now >> oh, yeah, >> jimmy: ths it a giant,
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giant movie. i don't even know if people understand how much work goes into these superhero films >> it's a lot of work. >> jimmy: its a lot of -- this costume is just one thing but also you're doing a lot of flying >> yeah, a lot of flying >> jimmy: which means -- spoiler alert, she really can't fly in real life sorry, guys. i know spoiler alert. but there's trickery involved. t >>re is. >> jimmy: it's not really called that. but you're on wires, right, wh you're levitating >> actually, originally, i wasn't on wires. i was on this thing th call the parallelogram and it was basically like there were weights on one end and bi then this kind of seat on the other. so i would have to, kind of, prop myself up on the bike seat like that and dangle my legs and then they would lift me up into the air by my crotch, which was just wonderful [ laughter ] but on top of that, i was wearing -- for all of the flying scenes, i'm wearing this purple leather jacket with this huge collar that comes up like this >> jimmy: yeah and all the hair is cgi, so i have to wear a bald cap.
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so i look like megamind -- [ laughter ] with bad crotch pants. >> jimmy: i'm happy they didn't go with that title for the movie. >> there i am. >> jimmy: "dark phoenix" is much batter. th's you levitating? >> don't i look so dangerous [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i want to show a a clip here is sophie turner in "dark phoenix. hey, before we show this clip, any spoilersdi >> um, everyon [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: don't go thereer >> don't go >> jimmy: don't go there go there >> here, here.k >> jimmy: "daroenix," take a look [ laughter ] >> look, i know who you are. i don't want to fight. >> no, you don't
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>> stop that i said stop that right now >> it's not me >> it's me >> jean. jean >> get down! ♪ >> jimmy: whoa [ cheers and applause sophie turner, everybody [ cheers and applause "dark phoenix" hits theaters on june 7th and you can catch "game of thrones" sunday nights on hbo p. at 9:00 stick around, we'll be right back with paula pell stick around, we'll be right back with paula pell come on back "stay awake" by julie andrews♪ ♪stay awake don't rest your head♪
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ooohhhh ♪
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i've slain your dreaded dragon. for saving the kingdom what doth thou dese?
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my lord? hey good knight. where are you going? ♪ ♪ climbinup on solsbury hill ♪ grab your things, salutations.ha coffee tt is a cup above is always worth the quest. nespresso. tis all i desire. did thou bring enough for the whole kingdom? george: nespresso, what else?
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♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: guys, be sure to tune in next week we've got some great guests lined up gabrielle union will be here [ cheers and applause nd jessica alba aara shahidi will be here on monday, we're talking to mayor pete buttigieg and on wednesday -- wednesday, we've got a big, big show. howard ste will be here to talk about his new book, "howard stern comes again. it ia great week you do not want to miss it stick around we'll be right back with paula pell, everyone [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ last year, the department of veteran's affairs partnered with t-mobile for business. with va video connect, powered by t-mobile, vets can spe v to their doctors fromirtually anywhere,
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bringing you more great tasting beverages with less sugar or no sugar at all. s, smaller portion size clear calorie labels and .minders to think balance because we know mom wants what's best. more beverage choices, smaller portions, less sug. [ cheers and applaus ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy winning writer for her work on "saturday night live" and one of the funniest peoplei ow she stars alongside amy poehler, tina fey and maya rudolph in the new movie "wine country. it's in select theaters and available on netflix now everyone, please welcome paula pell [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪
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♪ >> jimmy: paula, don't sit like that don't sit like that, please. i'm wearing a hybrid jumpsuit it's kind of a dress and kind of a jumpsuit. >> jimmy: oh, fun. >> i've always been a little confused >> jimmy: a little dangerous yes hi, i can't believe i'm here >> jimmy: i'm so happy you're here >> oh, my god. it feels like -- >> jimmy: i've known you forever. i love you >> it feels surreal like we d court.a mall f and i'm like, "hey, jimmy. i had a dream last night you hosted 'the tonight show.' and i was one of the guests. [ laughter ] it feels so beautifully unreal >> jimmy: we used to spend so much time together let me just do this and you can plug your ears if you want i should have done befor came out but paula's responsible for some of the funniest sketches in the history of "saturday night live." she wrote "the spartanea cheerlrs" with will ferrell and cheri oteri. [ cheers and applause "omeletteville" with
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justin timberlake. [ cheers and applause ow ♪ bring it on d to omeletteville ♪ "tony bennett," alec baldwin sketch "gilly kristen wiig. [ cheers and applause "music schoolteachers" bobbie and marty culp with will ferrell and ana and "debdowner." one of my absolute favorites [ cheers and applause just so you know she knows a thing or two >> jimmy: i got to be honest and tell you this. i love you so much >> i love you too. >> jimmy: i love what you written for me but i loved also hanging out with you >> i know, i love it >> jimmy: you're so much fun so much fun,d would look forwar writing something with you of course, i wasn't even doing the writing, you were. but -- >> no, that's not trueho >> jimmy: we did a tand bits every night and you were a bit machine >> jimmy: i thought we could show some of our bits that we used to. >> jimmy: you showed me the best trick on how to get a good fake slap. >> y, we'll show you a fake slap >> jimmy: how do we do this now? >> and don't do this in front of a policeman 'cause people don't understand it and they think it's real [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, it's not real. do this. randoml and jimmy and i would do it a lot. so we'd do it in front of a host and really freak 'em the hell out >> jimmy: yeah >> jimmy: so here we g >> here, you take the person
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you face them -- their back to you. and you go, "you know what, jimmy? i mean is this is the first gtime i've been here as auest and i just thought -- i don't know i thought you'd maybe come backstage -- >> jimmy: yeah >> "and you'd say hi to me." >> jimmy: but i didn't so - >> it's just really disappointing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so what would we do is your hand has to be here sola you can hear the sing sound. [ laughter ] >> i j that was - >> jimmy: that's the end of your bit >> yeah. >> jimmy: how are you feeling, by the way >> i'm feeling good. i just -- i went to the dentist recently, finally. i haven't been there in a while. sorry. and i just -- i've been feeling this weird thing about my -- you know how bulldogs have, kind of, a big jaw that goes over the bottom like that? and i keep popping when i wake up in the morning. and they said that i have something called dog jaw and so - >> jimmy: dog jaw?t >> yeah, which is ry flattering but i love dogs. i have a lot of them and so -- but it's kind of coolin i'm, kind of, gettin it as being my little secret thing -- [ laughter ]
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is that it feels like i have af a sort oformation. feel right here, kind of like, dog ja [ imitating dog barking [ ughter and applause dot do that to an older relative 'cause they'll would have a stroke >> jimmy: we used to do -- >> oh, we would do it. we'd buildt up so long >> jimmy: dog jaw. >> we'd do it. we'd take a break. we keep building it up "you know that paula's got dog jaw, right?" >> jim: oh, that's the best bit. >> and people always wanted to feel like they know what they're talking about. "oh, yeah. dog jaw. >> jimmy: "heard of that." the ot >> and then you scare the hell out of them opinion. >> jimmy: the other bit, if you don't mind me -- you have a talent that we both realized one night at, like, 4:00 in the morning that we >> yese -- >> jimmy: is -- i don't even know how to describe it. >> i can bleep out -- i can bleep out swear words. so, you know, i'm like, "you're a really ignorant -- and i bleep it out with a sound. [ cheers and applause so i realized, because i sing,
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and jimmy and i used to sing together a lot, goofing around, is that i can sing doing give me a pen i'll do a mic. oh, you have a mic here? >> jimmy: yeah, we have reale. mics h >> no pen? this is "the tonight show. we got props [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we don't sing into pens anymore >> for gosh shakes >> jimmy: come on. >> they'll spend a penny >> jimmy: alright, waiso we're talking. welcome. testing, one, two. >> jimmy and i are going to sing "you don't bring me flowers. j >>my: "a beautiful song by barbra streisand and neil diamond." ♪ ♪ >> i don't think the mwos are ing, guys. >> jimmy: sing without the mic for a bit. ♪ talk to me any more >> it's not working. >> jimmy: yeah, no i think mine's n working - >> yeah. ♪ baby i ♪ ♪ all the ways you taught ♪
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: all these dumb bits. this is just three of them >> the rest of 'em involve fart sounds [ laughter ] 're not going to do those. 'cause we're classy. >> jimmy: i want to talk about "wine country. >> yes j >>immy: i'm so happy that you did this movie you crush in this movie. check out "wine country"n netflix. it's you it's tina fey, rachel dratch, maya, ana. >> emily spivey who wrote it - >> jimmy: emily spiveyck >> with liz caski, yep >> jimmy: this is based on a a real trip -- >> ana gasteyer. >> jimmy: you did? you -- >> we went on two real trips for people turning 50. and i missed the boat. so they're going to do a a retroactive one. 'cause i'm 56. thanks [ laughter ] >> jmy: no one clapped >> no one. no one "i thought she was 90. [ laughter ] but so we're -- we've been doing these trips every other year, we go on a trip. and we went on a 50th rachel dratch birthday party weekend. and a lot of things happenedd
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and we -- any produced it and directed it, amy poehler anemily spivey -- yeah >> jimmy: well, tell the story -- this is a little off color. >> well, there's a lot of things that really happened -- that happened in the movie that really happened in real life and one of them was the night before i left, i'm living in l.a. now ithe night before i left,an to the hustler store at midnight because i had a 6:30 flight in the morning. and i bought high end vibrators for all the girls. [ light laughter ] and i mean really high end they can, you know, te your temperature and adjust - >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> and they tell you the weather. it's -- there's a lot of things [ laughter ] you can check sports scores. >> jimmy: check sports scores? >> it's amazing. yeah, yeahmy >> jimoh, my gosh. >> so i went and bought all these. and, of course, i bought rachel one at was even bigger and better and really elaborate with, like, magnet technology. i don't know what that means but -- and the girl behind the counter -- 'cause everyone in l.a. that works in those stores is just like -- always like,
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"what are you looking for? what are you looking for tonight? you know, they're just really comfortable in their skin and young and not like i used to be in the shadows if i ever went in one of those places sorry rents in the third row and so -- and so i went inbo there and ht so much stuff, that she finally went, "i got to say, can i just give you my employee discount? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. >> 'cause she said, "this is going to be $900." >> jimmy: wow. >> and it was $900 and then i bought batteries. 'cause you don't buy a toy and not give batteries to somebody [ laughter ] that's not how santa claus works. >> jimmy: santa claus. oh, my gosh. >> i created a character at the real weekend named dilda clause [ laughter ] and jolly old saint richard, for short. >> jimmy: alright. oh, my gosh. >> and i distributed them. ctand so in the movie, i ally do that with a beard made out of paper towels. >> jimmy: that really happened in real life >> it really happened. >> jimmy: i want to show
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everyone a clip. here's paula ph l and rachel dratc "wine country. take a look at this. >> she's too young for me. >> val, may i offer you some feback >> go for it >> okay, i mean when it comes to age, the numb itself truly doesn't matter it's -- i mean, it's i wish abby could understand this 'cause she's coming at me like, "you're 50 you're 50. you're 50. it's like what matters is how you feel inside. so with all that in mind, what woisd you say your soul age >> i'd say like 12 i an maybe a little older. probably old enough to drink and bone maybe 18 18 1/2 almost out of the house. don't have my own car ye but i have a bike. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: it's a start one of the best people i've ever met in my entire lifetime paula pell, everybody. [ cheers and applause "wine country" is in select theaters and available on netflix now. we'll be right back with more "tonight show," everybody.
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[ cheers a applause ♪ puppy school is in session. alright, aight. what's going on? my owner got a new puppy. my name is tiny. nobody cares.
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is the rener of a great bakery hen new york city called flour shop and she just released her first book titled "the power of sprinkles. please welcome amirah kassem, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: hi it's a pleasure to meet you.
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>> hi. >> jimmy: that's questlove >> questlove: how you doing?go >> jimmy: i to say, gosh, i love these cakes my daughters, every birthday now we have to have your cakes, because they're so much fun. and i think the first time i saw this, was on instagram i want to say, one of the kardashians or something had your cake for their kids and i just follow all the kardashians on instagram [ laughter ] >> i mean, who doesn't >> jimmy: and that's how i found out. and i'm like, "wait, you're in new york?" so thank you for this. show me what goes into this, and what a great story i want to to say, were in the fashion bu, you >> i was i was in the fashion business, and i grew up baking in mexico with my mom, and i jusd woke up one day andecided, "i want to play with sprinkles for the rest of my life. >> jimmy: wow. [ laughter ] good for you >> so here we have it. [ laughter ]'s and thathat happened >> jimmy: and it worked out pretty well. >> it did. >> jimmy: it's an amazing cake, but you'll see how amazing it is how do we make the rainbow explosion cake >> okay, so you start with a a five layer cake, you have the sixth layer ready. >> jimmy: okay >> i;m going to need you to pour sprinkles inside of it. >> jimmy: yep. anything you like.ill it with
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why are you using a scoop? this is fun. use the whole bowl just pour it in. come on. >> jim >> there you go. [ cheers and applause yes. and then you'll just -- oh, i love that. you'll do two little rings here, and we'll top it off with that cake. here, you want to put the top layer on it? >> jimmy: oh, of course. >> there we go mean, multitasking [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. >> this is beautiful and then i like to do a layer of crumb coating which is just -- >> jimmy: lookrigood, like a a pro t there. >> yeah, you know pro -- and i love this little tool, it's so easy because it's like - you know, it teaches you all the tipsnd tricks in my book >> jimmy: yeah >> but, i won't show you, because this isn't the fun part i like the sprinkling part >> jimmy: yeah, you like the sprinkling part. how do we put sprinkles on it? >> you use your hands. it's really easy >> jimmy: oh, really through crumb coating -- >> jimmy: yeah >> we literally now just have to cover it in sprinkles you can do this, too >> jimmy: okay, wow. >> come on >> jimmy: oh, okay i didn't - >> just go for it. ust go for it.dn't>>
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just pour it in sprinkles.go there you a little more for you. >> jimmy: i mean, look at it >> some over here. i lovehese yeah sprinkle party [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: throwing at me >> on your hands on your hands. [ laughter ] okay >> jimmy: mine doesn't -- mine doesn't look quite as good as yours. >> wait, wait, there's not enough sprinkles bring down the piñatas s we need moreinkles [ drum roll okayeers and applause ♪ you guys ready >> jimmy: yes. >> let's make it rain, boys. [ speaking in foreign language ] pour woo! [ cheersnd applause >> jimmy: much better now. >> now we have enough. but now we have to cut it. >> jimmy: yeah, show everyone what it looks like >> we sive to see what's in >> jimmy: this is the real deal this is what -- dude, every birthday party is going to have to have this from now on look at what it looks like on the inside >> ready jimmy: look at this >> woo [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: isn't that fun >> so wait wait so - >> jimmy: you have to try it >> growing up in mexico, though, we have a different tradition. we don't cut open the cake >> jimmy: you don't? >> no. we all take -- well, the birthday person, but since we're already celebrating the birthday lifestyle, you take a a bite and your closest friends, your family kind of smashes your head into it.
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but we all chant - [ speaking in a foreign language ] which means "take a bite." and i think jimmy should do it so you guys want to help me? [ cheers and applause chants in foreign language ] >> questlove: you ready? [ chants in foreign language ] [ cheers and applause ♪ >>immy: it smells great. >> it looks great too. >> jimmy: it looks great, too, yeah i love it. amir kassem, everybody [ cheers and applause "the power of sprinkles" is in stores now my thanks -- there's sprinkleall over the place. my thanks to emma thompson, sophie turner, paula pell, amirah kassem. [ cheers and applause anthe roots right there fr philadelphia stay tuned for "late night wit seth meyers. thank you for watching have great weekend hope to see you next week. bye-bye, everybody [ cheers and applause ♪
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♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- tracy morgan, nbc's da "sunday to anchor, willie geist, music from ingrid andress, aturing the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause >> seth meyers.ening, i'm this is "late night. how is everybody doing tonight [ cheers and applause he that's fantastic to in that case, let's get to the news a redacted version of special counsel robertueller's report on the russia investigation is expected to be released this week, and 00


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