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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  July 27, 2019 12:37am-1:37am EDT

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♪ ee [ ch and applause ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in it new york, "late night with seth meyers. tonight -- laura dern world cup champion, megan rapinoe, comedian catherine cohen featuring the 8g band with raghav mehrotra. ♪ [ cheers and applause tl ladies and genemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night. how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause re that's g to hear in that case, let's get to the news president trump yesterday attacked four minority democratic congresswomen and said they should, quote, "go back and help fix the totally broken and crime-infested places from which they came."
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okay, this is besides the point, but, dude, you're from queens. [ laughter ] i would say you should go back and fix it, but i don't think any of the trains are running. house speaker nancy pelosi said today she will introduce a resolution condemning president trump's racist attacks on minority lawmakers man, nancy pelosi counterattacks from a president the way a normal person handles bad service at starbucks [ laughter ] "go back to where they came from oh, you bet, i'll be filling out a comment card [ laughter ] i am very dissatisfied." [ light laughter ] new york city suffered a major t blackout on saturdayt left over 70,000 people in manhattan without power. of course, in manhattan, 70,000 people is two starbucks and a jamba juice. [ laughter ] california congressman eric swalwell has announced he is dropping out of the democratic presidential racewe swal made the decision after realizing that he didn't know
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which one he was, either [ laughter and applause presidential hopeful s to o'rourke revealed thi weekend that both he and his wife recently learned that their ancestors owned slaves even weirder, how they announced it [ laughter ] "can i get you a piece?" "i don't think so, no. a mobile shopping company has created a hyper realistic actif figure oazon ceo jeff bezos. then again, it might just be a vibrator [ laughter ] [ audience oohs [ cheers and applause in a new interview, the ceo of e-cigarette company juul apologized to e parents of children who've become addicted to vaping. well, technically whate said was, "i'm sorry your kids are so cool." [ laughter ]
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according to a recent survey, 21 is the average age at which people meet their best friends,l 31 is the age they realize they haven't seen them in 6 years. laughter ] the coast guard released a video over the weekend of service memberseizing $232 million worth of cocaine from a homemade submarine. wow, how could someone have the energy to build their own subma -- oh, right right, right, right. [ laughter ] right, the cocaine the cocaine. [ applause ] and finally, the women's worlden cup d last week. here with the highlights of the tournament, please welcome one of our writers, jenny hagel, everybody. [ cheers and applause >> hey, everybody! the world cup wrapped up last week, and it wasncredible. first, some teams played each other and some qualified and some didn't. yada, yada but the ole thing really kicked off when u.s. player megan rapinoe had this exchange with reporter. >> reporter: are you excited about going to the white house
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>> i'm not going to the [ bleep ] white house. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause >> yeah. when that happened, lesbians were like, "i love her." and straight women were like, "am i straight [ laughter ] then the team beat thailand and spain and then megan rapinoe sat out a game and everyone in erica was like, "oh [ bleep ], is my girlfriend okay? [ laughter ] >> seth: sorry, jenny, this is great, but i thought you were going to go over the highlights of the world cupet >> s i'm a lesbian these are the highlights [ laughter ]we then the presidented, "megan should win first before she talks. finish the job." and en rapinoe scored two goals against france and ran to the sidelines and did this and then you know what the president said then? [ cheers and applause yeah, you know what the president said then? >> seth: what?ee >> jack [ bl] because that's the dopest comeback ever yeahughter ] last night i tried to buy milk at a bodega and they were like, "we don't take debit cards" and i was like "i have exact change, bitch! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause
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then the u.s. beat england andth the lands and became the world champs for the second time in a row and not only that, megan rapinoe is here tonight to celebrate [ cheers and applause it was a great ending for straight fans. for lesbians, it was just the beginning. because then things got very ga player kelley o'hara ran into the stands and kissed her girlfriend, even though she wasn't even officially out what a badass way to come out. i me out in my apartment b whispering to my straight roommate, "i think i like girls.ai and then she s "okay" and then we just went back to watching "dawson's creek." [ laughter ] then goalkeeper ashlyn harris wearing thisture of herself look at that outfit. [ cheers and applause it's like she's the ceo of a company that makes lesbians. [ laughter ] and then rapinoe rolled up to an interview with rachel maddow
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looking like some kind of sexy m burton character [ light laughter ] it's like jack the pumpkin king had a hot gay sister [ laughter ] but don't worry, rachel maddow is a professional. and she meets high-profile people all the time. so you can totally count on her to keep her cool >> you're really good at talking -- i'm still so nervous [ laughter ] >> look how flustered she got. that's how other lesbians act when they meet rachel maddow [ light laughter ] it was truly the gayest week america has ever seen. now, i just want to say i know the u.s. women's national team is not just made up of lesbians and every team member's contributions to the wor cup re incredible. but it was a big deal this week to watch the gay members of the team be so outnd proud and unapologetic about who they are and for the whole country to be so onboard with it for once, americans were into lesbians but not in a creepy way. [ laughter ]
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[ cheers and applause w i'm a lesbian, i'm aan, and i'm also hispanic. so there hasn't been a lot of great news for me lately but watching america go in just a few years from this, to this, that makes me proud to be an american [ cheers and applause >> seth: jenny hagel, everybody! [ cheers and applause we got a great show for you tonight. she's the star of the hit series "big little lies" currently in its second season on hbo laura dern is back, everybody. [ cheers and applause en as jenny moned, world cup champion megan rapinoe will be joining us and we have a very funny comedian who will be performing at the edinburgh fringe festival in august. catherine cohen is here. [ cheers and applause so it's a great show before we get to any of that, the president mounted an appallingly racist attack on four democratic women of color
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in congress.mo for on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: it's been obvious from the very first moment he stepped onto the political stage that donald trump is a rast and that racism is at the core of his political ideology. it's not a side dish 's the main course every day he serves up a steaming hot entree of racism thd then washes it down wi side of -- >> mcdonald's, wendy's and burger king, with some pizza. [ laughter and applause >> seth: trump launched his political career by questioning legitimacy of the first black president, began his campaign by claiming mexico is sendingcr inals and rapists to the u.s. and said a judge who was overseeing a lawsuit against hi ouldn't be allowed to oversee the case because of his ethnicity. >> now, this judge is of mexican herige i'm building a wall. okay i'm building a wall. >> but you're invoking his race when talking about whether or >> jake, i'm building wall okay i'm building a wall. >> if you are saying he can't do his job cause of his race, is that not the definition of
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racism >> no, i don't think so at all >> no? >> no. 's proud of his heritage i respect him for that >> you're saying he can't do his job because of that. >> look, he's proud of his heritage okay i'm building a wall. this judge is giving us unfair rulings. now i say why. well, i wanna -- i'm building a wall >> seth: okay.ll but why won't you tes what you're building? [ laughter ] he keeps saying it over and over like he's wearing a wire and calling for backup "i'm building a wall i'm building a wall. wall, steve, get me out of here!" [ laughter ] so trump launched a racist attack on a judge by calling him unqualified to rule in a case ci because of their eth, and by the way, in case you're somehow still curious about donald trump's legal bona fides, here's what he h to say on iday about special counsel robert mueller's report which listed ten possible instances of obstruction of justice remeer ten ten. somehow, everyone's forgotten about that, because it was like 50 scandals ago. we all have such scandal fatigue, at this point trump could streak naked across the white house lawn with his head stuck in a kfc bucket screaming,
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"i did it, i broke all the laws." [ light laughter ] and two days later we'd all be scratching our heads going, "oh, yeah, rit, that happened." [ light laughter ] so trump was asked about the mueller report on friday, and he tried to claim that article 2 of te constitution gives him power to basically do whatever he wants now, remember, this is the same guy who said a judge wasn't qualified to rule on a case ca bee of that judge's ethnicity. by comparison, here's trump talking about article two of the constitution of the united states n >>ber one, there's no crime. and how do you obstruct when there's no crime also, take a look at one other thing. it's a thing called article two. nobody ever mentions article two. it gives me all of these rights at a level that nobody has ever seen before. we don't even talk about aicle two. >> seth: what do you mean nobody has ever seen before [ laughter ] w it written over 200 years ago. just because you've never seen it before -- [ laughter ] doesn't mean noby's ever seen it before. "i just saw this great little independent film, no one's ever seen it before, called 'the lion
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king.' it's about a good guy named scar but oh, he's got a real [ bleep nephew who tries to backstab him. [ light laughter ] but i like scar -- i haven't finished it. it's two hours long. that's too long.ch but i like scar's ces. i think -- i think it's going to end well for scar. [ laughter ] also his interpretation of article two is obviously wrong which is not surprising since he apparently jt discovered it. "here's another thing i just learned. did you know we had a president who was 100 feet tall? [ light laughter ] made of stone. [ laughter ] what we saw in that interview was the core of trump's racist worldview. and we saw it yet again on sunday when trump launched a stunningly racist attack on fouf progressive women olor in congress >> the president of the united states told progressive democratic women of color in congress to go back to the crime-infested places from which they came. trump writing this, "so interesting to see progressive
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democrat congresswomen whoor inally came from countries whose governments are a complete and total catastrophe.wo the t, most corrupt, and inept, anywhere in the world, if they even have a functioning government at all, now loudly and viciously telling the people of the united states, the greatest and most powerful nation on earth, how o government is to be run. why don't they go back and help fix the totally broken and crime-infested places from which they came? then ce back and show us how it is done these places need your help badly.ca yot leave fast enough. i'm sure that nancy pelosi would be very happy to quickly work ra out free tl arrangements." >> seth: okay. first of all, there's no acceptable word for this other than racist. period not racially charged or racially tinged or as "the new york times" put it, trump's racially-infused politics, like it's some kind of fancy drink at a williamsburg cocktail bar. [ laughter ] "oh, honey, their cosmo is
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racially infused." [ laughter ] second, this is beside the congresswomen you're ang were born here and they're all american citizens. so if you're asking them to fix the totally brokenov crime-infestednments of their home countries, they're trying [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause third, it doesn't matterth doesn't matter whe they were born here or not, they're americans. this is their country, and they're treating it with a lot mo respect and devotion th the racist gargoyle who sits around tweeting from the back nine of his chintzy golf course. that looks like a scule someone would build to make fun of donald trump. [ laughter ] "i call this one the melting racist."li and then today trump reeled off yet another racist tirade at a white house event called "the made in america product rst he took questions from reporters and defended his tweets when asked if they were racist >> not at all. >> do you think that those ademocratic congresswomen not
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american >> somebody has a problem with our country -- if somebody doesn't want to be in our country, they should leave. >> seth: i think it's veryg fittinthat he's standing next to a boat because he always looks like he just fell off the side of a booze cruise and got dragged back onto deck by a lifeguard. [ light laughter ] then trump moved over to the podi where he continued his tirade and doubled down on those racist tweets. >> if you're not happy in the u.s., if you're complaining all e time, very simply, you can leave.le you can ave right now. come back if you want. don't come back. it's okay, too but if you're not happy, you can leave. >> seth: i'm sorry, you're accusing someone else of com - all you do is compla you spent the eight years of obama's presidency lying and complaining about everythi in fact, at one point you actually bragged about the fact you were greatt whining. >> i am the mo fabulous whiner i do whine, because i want to win. and i'm not happy if i'm not winning. >> are whiners winners >> and i'm a whiner. and i'm a whiner and i keep whining and whining until i win. >> seth: that is a terrible dr. seuss book [ laughter ]
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"i keep whining and whining until i'm a winner and then i go home and have pizza for dinner." [ laughter ] now trump's attack on four progressive women of color wasn't just blatantly and appallingly racist, it's also a classic racist trope it's the kind of taunt or insult peop of color have been subjected to for years as senator kamala harris explained. >> it is absolutely racist and un-american. t and it is an oldpe, go back to where you came from, that, you know, you might hear it on the street, but you shouar never hehat from the president of the united states. >> seth: and she's right trump shouldn't be president at best he suld be on the streets selling fake rolexes in times square - [ light laughter ] and yelling at tourists for not buying them. "oh, what? you've never heard of a polex? [ laughter ] what we're seeing now, once again, is the core of trump's racist ideology and his policy agenda his administration is inflicting cruelty on migrants through inhumane detention centers, family separation and he spent his career questioning theev
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legitimacy of yone from the first black president to judges to members of congress what more do you need to impeach this guy congress suld just say to hi >> you can leave you can leave right now. >> seth: this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ♪ you guys, we have a great show tonight. and we're happy you're with us, but i want to saa few quick words about some sad news that happened over hiatus last week, we lost a beloved member of the ate night" team family, tommy weil tommy was a member of our security team. he was a retired nypd detective. a warm-hearted guy who had a smile for everybody, who will be missed one of the great things about sh working with this is the people we get to spend our time with and he was such a perfect example of that. so on behalf of everyone here, i want to send our cdolences to tommy's family we'll be right back with more "late night. [ala beeping] {tires screeching} {truck honking}
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relief and remission wthat's right.k pretty disappointed. buckle up. there he is. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause also this is so, so exciting sitting in with us this week, he's a 14-year-old up and coming drummer from new jersey who starred in the tony-nominated "school of rock" on broadway his videos have garnered millions of views, so be sure to check them out on instagram. raghav mehrotra is here. how are you, raghav? [ cheers and applause >> thank you everybody >> seth: so glad you're here true story -- true storyhayou to be 16-years-old to be in our audience raghav, life hack right there.[ ght laughter ]
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he came in, they saw him at thee door, they were li"we need i.d. and he just took out the sticks. he was like, "these are my i.d." [ light laughter ] thank you so much for being here i'm thrilledee and applause our first guest tonight is an emmy winning and academy award nominated actress you know from films ch as "jurassic park," "wild" and "star wars: the last jedi." she's currently starring in the second season of "big little lies." l let's take ak. >> how come i'm not at school? >> sweetie, i told you ziggy and max and josh are their moms, and i thought,ith "well, wait a minute let's us have a mother/daughter day.t >> it isn'cause we are broke isn't?av and we he to move? >> no amabella, it's because i wanted to spend the day with you. sweetie, everything isn't about money. wellit is, but it isn't. >> seth: please welcome back to the show laura der everyone. [ cheers and applause ♪
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♪ >> seth: welcome back. >> thank you, so happy to be here >> seth: were you -- i hope you had a chance backstage to meet megan rapinoe. did you get a chance to say hi >> so excited. beside myself. >> seth: you watched the final at an airport. you were traveling >> i didd. i when everyone was so td l.a.x that their flights were delayed. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. that's a rare opportunity.le >> it's incred and as we all know, what a sense of community we feel when we have this collective, shared, experience of bliss watching that winning game and watching her. >> seth: it almost never happens at an airport. >> no. [ light laughter ] >> seth: shared bliss. >> shared bliss never happens but it did that day. and it was amazing as i said to her, watching this tribe of 6-year-old boys, these boys imitating this female
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athletes with her moves and, yoo know, you just -- wait for a paradigm shift where women are honored and celebrated for their genius and their art a their loud, fierce, voices and it's very cool [ cheers and applause >> seth: very cool you certainly -- you certainly are part of this incredible community with your show this is, obviously, a female-driven show, a female-produd show i'm so sorry nobody watches it or talks about it. maybe eventually [ light laughter ] >> but thank you for having me anywayea >> seth: you will brthrough. you will break through >> okay, thank you >> seth: you have -- i feel like so -- one of the luxuries you have on the sh is you have the best one-liners on the show. do you feel that >> i do really enjoy what i get away with. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> let's just put it that way. it is amazing.ee and it's bamazing as people are watching having people come up to you, and i'm starting to realize i think it's because we've all been theree we'vl had this moment, but we've, i guess, thankfully,
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never said what renata says. >> seth: yeah. >> but we walk away in deep regret having not said that thing-- >> seth: right 's>> to the individual whoust infuriated us. so it's quite delicious. >> seth: it's very cathartic t watch renata do and say the things she does. are you jealous of it that you're not a renata in real life >> you know, i'm troubled. >> seth: yeah. >> because i'm not jealous and at times wn i run into people, i don't know if i should accept a compliment, apologize. i sometimes -- i see melf going, "she's a lot, i know. sorry. [ laughter ] as though she's my sister and not a character i playi but so realize that they'll say to me, "i mean, boy, she'sra really gone off the s this time, can you believe when she -- and that's something i did when we were improvising, which means it's in my psyche. >> seth: right [ light laughter ] >> to, you know -- >> seth: so there is a little renata in there.ar >> i mean, cle >> seth: yeah. >> clearly, guys, there is some renata
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>> seth: i feel like the thing the way you get to be ta is t you don't actually have to in your life deal with the fallout which is really that's the joy of it, i guesse >> i mean, you ht. i haven't yet had the experience where a man is looking at me across the restaurant. he's like -- oh yeah -- "big little lies" is noppening. >> seth: you guys ---- last time you were here you talked about the group text of everybody on the show. is t group text still going strong >> it's going strong >> seth: that's great. >> it's been renamed from five different area codes and i never know why a group of people are constantly texting each other because we can't recogni it, but now they've given us a name. >> seth: oh, wow >> this season, which was the monterey fe. so now our group texts can have a title. >> seth: that's wonderful. >> but then this other woman twants to, like, join thet. >> seth: oh, no. that's so irritating >> meryl, okay [ laughter ] we have our own group text >> seth: i think that's very important. >> it's -- you know, it's a little rude. >> seth: let's be honest she has plenty >> i would say
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i would say. >> seth: right >> but then, of course, she writes the most genius thing everinspires us all to be better people. i'm like, "okay, you can be in our text." >> seth: is it -- when you are on a group text with that many talented people, do you have like -- like do you really, when you're about to text something,u do yind of, like, read it a few times to be like, "is this worthy of the text chain?" >> sadly, that's gone away and i think it should come back for me. [ laughter ] i should start to educate myself on what to say or not say ca e you do realize extraordinary people you're speaking to and periodically i'l asking them about,e, the best mint or, you know, like "what's a good snack when you el exhausted on set? but then they'll come, you know, nicole taught me about apple with cinnamon. >> seth: really? >> so and it's changed my life >> seth: wow >> it was a game changer, guys >> seth: that's -- you know thea al say that she's, like -- she gets a lot of attention and rightfully so, praise for her acting but she's great with snacks >> no, it's true seth: yeah. laughter ] >> it's true yeah >> seth: they say like one of the foremost snack experts in hollywood. yeah [ laughter ] >> seth: this is cool because
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renata is involved in the tech industry, and when you took on this role you met with a lot of people a lot of women in tech, which, course, there are a lot fewer than men and that sort of led you to sort of independently on your own -- help out with grants in that sector >> well, you know, you're helping out. we're all helping out together because i don't know if you guys knew, but america is a community.h, >> seth: yt is a big old community. >> built on extraordinary to make this an amazinace were get to be together in. and as we look for diversity and gender parity in companies and the workplace, it was amazing to learn that tech has got a lot to work to do so i was very happy through playing renata to learn about their mbers and help hopefully support more women in tech and get grant and scholarships in universities for them to be able to not only be in the boardroom but take over. [ chee and applause >> seth: excellent
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well, let tell you, it's always just such a delight to have you here. >> thank you >> seth: thank you so much, laura. >> thank you >> seth: please come back soon >> thank you for letting me -- >> seth: give it up everybody.ee laura dern [ ch and applause the finale of "big little lies," airs next sunday at 9:00 pm on hbo. we'll be right back with megan rapinoe. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ let'go! ♪
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get the internet your family needs at a price you'll love. plus, the first month of youtube tv on us when you switch now. only on fios. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: our next guest is a professional soccer player, olympic gold medalist and member of the u.s. women's soccer team, which as you might have heard tonight just won the world cup please welcome to the show megan rapinoe, erybody ♪ [ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: thank you so much for being here >> ah, but of course i was saying backstagetfit >> thank you >> seth: i was worried you were going to run out of awesome >> no, no, no. >> seth: but it's really good. i like this week, because i feel
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like for a long time i sort of only knew you from your soccer kit. and now i'm getting to see - >> yeah. >> seth: we're all getting to see your fashion >> yeah. no, carla welch is hooking me up >> seth: okay, good. >> yeah, i have someone on my side for sure. >> seth: all right very good. >> yeah. >> seth: now, i feel like the difference between me and the way i approached sports as a kid in the way professional athletec your level appro-- >> different >> seth: a little different. >> tiny, yes >> seth: every time i walked on the field, ihought to myself, "oh, god, i hope this isn't a disaster." [ light laughter ] >> this could go horribly wrong. >> seth: this could go horribly wrong. so, i think you obviously go into it wi confidence. with that said, was this result beyond expectation i mean, i knew you obviously went in thinking we're going to win this thing but, you know, six goals and the golden ball and the golden boot. and when you look back on you're like, "man, that couldn't have gone any better." >> it's how i drew it up, right? >> seth: yeah. >> of course, i was like, "i'm going to win everything.la [ light hter ] i'm going to plant this quote, a couple months ago to be release to get everyone's attention who wasn't watching. >> seth: yeah. >> "then we're just going to really blow it out of the water.
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yeah no, i mean, i'm just, like, i can't believe i'm sitting here i can't believe that all happened >> seth: was this your third world cup? >> third world cup yeah, yeah >> seth: third iorld cup >>idn't do as well in the others ones as i did this one. >> seth: personally of course, you won two now. >> yes, yes. >> seth: and do you feel -- o having gone out,iously, you have the pressure is off of you. you're always going to be a world cup winner coming to this one. at the same time, is it just as exciting to go through it when you're at that level playing at the top of your sport? >> yeah. it is. and this o even more i feel like we had so much more riding on it with equal pay and just with what's happening at home and, you know, maybe this hopefully not, but potentially i'm not getting any younger. but just felt, like, "god, we really have to win this. >> seth: yeah. >> if we don't win this, this sucks. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> this is like -- this sucks. >> seth: i feel like i -- you ow, i've been fairly invested the last two times i never felt that before i've wanted you to w and thought, if you win, it will be awesome but i agree with you, this time is the first time i thought, "if you lose, it will suck." was like we needed to win
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>> seth: yeah. and i'm so glad it worked out. c and ofrse, you had your parade is the parade as much fun as it los? >> yes >> seth: yeah. [ laughter you certainly looked like you wereaving fun. >> it truly is >> seth: this is -- here you're pouring ampagne down one of your teammate's -- [ laughter ] >> you have to stay hydrated >> seth: you have to stay hydrated you prably didn't notice there was a camera there >> oh. people are filming that? >> seth: yea that were filming that whole thing was on -- >> people saw that >> seth: how did you feel the next morning how were you>>uys doing? h. [ laughter ] it was, you know just get right back on it, don't you? >> seth: yeah. high-caliber athletes can bounce back from that probably a little bit better >> we're in tip top physical shape. >> seth: tip top [ laughter ] >> so we can handle a lot. >> seth: you mentioned equal pay. i do think it was great that it was brought up beforehand. >> uh-huh. >> seth: so it's something that fans were thinking about fans who were watching on the c field thinking, "howld they be paid anything less than anyone else who does this for a living?" you had fans chanting it after the game, chanting at the parade do you feel as though fifa -- as
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an organization riticized from all sides, fairly >> yeah. >> seth: not known for beingck very quio adjust and fix things >> yeah. >> seth: do you feel hopeful or optimistic that there will be a move toward equal pay? >> i do. very much so fifa will be a much longer game. they're archaic in every single sense. u.s. soccer while not super nimble and quick to change, they're not in great spot right now with their fight against us >> seth: yeah, the optics are pretty bad for them right now. >> it's not great. it's not great [ laughter ] it's not great i'm just like, "you know what, leverage us. >> seth: yeah. >> this could be so much better for everyone why don't we just tag am >> seth: yeah. >> it would be amazing [ laughter ] >> seth: right >> we're having so much fun. like, you guys aren't allowed to have as much fun as us, because, like, nobody wants to see you celebrate. don't get on this parade you know what i'm saying nobody wants to see you with the players. >> seth: i know -- that must have been -- so were they even allowed to come to the parade? did day have to come - >> they were -- a couple of them, yeah, were allowed
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i think carlos was actually on our float. he was getting right in there.iv he was lg his best life. and i was like, "see carlos? [ laughter ] >> seth: this is a lot of fun. >> this is what your future could be >> seth: yeah, if you like parades, we're a good oup of people to hang out with. >> yes yeah >> seth: so that -- you mentioned there was -- because, of course, we all sathe quote about you not wanting to go to the white house right at the beginning but that was press you were doing months in advance >> uh-huh. >> seth:ere you taken aback by the fact that all of a sudden that was out there and everybody knew that and the lead-up or dia you have a sense it s coming >> i did not kw it was coming. heads-up would have been nice on that [ light laughter ] yeahne and i think everhought i said it, like, you know, that was, like, a pregame right in the locker room. which, it wasn't but i dn't mind it at all. >> seth: yeah. >> i said it i stand by it. i'm not going -- >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] to the white house. i'll say that again. [ cheers and applause per my mom's request, i've dropped the "f" word >> seth: you have dropped the
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"f" word >> yeah. seth: oh, that's -- that was her only request >> yeah. >> seth: okay. >> that was her only request >> seth: i think that's a very parental piece of advice on something. >> i know. >> seth: i will -- i'm not going to read them all but you know, there was -- he tweeted a lot about you. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: that's a three tweets i felt bad because - >> i got a full three tweeter. >> seth: full three tweeter. >> crazy >> seth: i didn't reen -- i only got thlines. >> yeah. but you got a low-key complint here >> seth: yeah. what's my low-key compliment almost - >> almost no ] [ laughter >> i noticed that right away i didn't get a low-key compliment >> seth: you know what yeah here i am -- here i am taking this as an insult this is a man who just said, "i got a little bit of talent." >> yes you sure did he must have been off his game [ applause ] off higame >> seth: you know what you have to remember, i just wanto point out the date that was 2014. he w a much nicer guy in 201 he got to sleep in his own bed >> the office has changed. yeah >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, he's -- >> seth: you were at the epsys which bas, we were talking stage, can be a fun night. >> it was.
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>> seth: who were some of the people -- i think the best part of that night is maybe meeting people in fferent sports or not even in sports at all. who did you get to rub elbows with >> oh, my goodness well, i get to sit next to my beautiful girlfriend all the time sue bird >> seth: sue bird. >> so she's -- >> seth: backstage as well [ cheers and applause ve >> she's othere. hi so that's really the highlight >> seth: you guys look fantastic by the way >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> thank you thank you. took a tequila shot with sandra bullock >> seth: wow [ audience reacts tequila shot with sandra bullock that's no -- that's a real thing right there. >> that was -- >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. i was like, if anybody who knows me knows, i'm terrible at taking shots.al especi tequila i was, like -- >> seth: really? now see that's - >> everything's fine thank god it's small - normally, they come, like, they're that big >> seth: yeah, i'm so happy that we finally figured out something i'm better at. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah, there you go. yeah h >> seth:e we're right, coming right to the end of the interview, i'm feeling pretty bad about myself >> here we go. yeah a little talent. >> seth: well, that's exally ting and now i think one of the things that is also good to point out is you guys have - there's a professional soccer
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league here in the states. >> yes >> seth: you're going to go back you play for seattlebe and it will eally nice, i think, for the fans who enjoyed and appreciated the level of soccer you guys are playing that's happening ight here inthe country. >> they can come watch us everywhere there's teams all over the country. i play for the reign come watch us play come in every city come watch the national team too. but shout-out nwsl, shout out reign fc i expect tsee everybody there. >> seth: and you're very good with faces [ cheers and applause >> yes >> seth: you're very good. >> i'll remember all of you. [ cheers and applaus and you. >> seth: thank you so much for making the time. it was really a blast to watch you. [ cheers and applause megan rapinoe, everybody we'll be right back with catherine cohen. [ cheers and applause ♪ wireless network cims are so confusing. america's most reliable network. the nation's largest and most reliable network.st the beetwork is even better? best, fastest, best.
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[ cheers and applause ♪ hello >> oh, my god. [ light laughter ]voice. ♪ when i was a little gir gazing out my window looking at the world ♪e ♪ wishing timwould just g on and on and on and take me to a new pla ♪ ♪ where i'd sing a song and meet a fresh fac hey ♪ ♪ how do we find our w llin we know where we belong ♪ ♪ if we harbor enough resentment in our teen we can write ♪ ♪ a catchy and funny song ♪ ♪ woo boys never wanted to kiss me so now i do comedy ♪ [ light laughter ] ♪ boys never wanted to kiss me so i neeall of you ♪ ♪ to look at me
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look at me ♪ look at m look at me oh oh ♪ ♪ look at m look at me look at me ♪ ♪ look at m oh oh oh look at me ♪ look at m look at me look at me ♪ ♪ please please please look at me ♪ ♪ look at m look at me look at me ♪ ♪ oh oh o oh when i was a tweenage gir at the big school dance ♪ ♪ playfully grabbed andrew's hatnc and away i praed ♪ ♪ it was a flirty thing i'd seen som of the skinny hot girls do ♪ >> but andrew was just like, "give me my hat back." [ light laughter ]he ♪ i criedhole way hom i thought stealing someone's hat was sexy ♪ ♪ but now i sing in dimly lit bars andrew voted for trump♪ and has a car >> i don't have one. ♪ boys never wanted to kiss me so now i do comedy ♪ >> i don't have a car. ♪ boys never wanted to kiss me so i need all of you to look at me ♪ >> seriously, pleaseoo ♪ lat m look at me look at me ♪ ♪ look at m oh rompe look at me ♪ ♪ look at m look at me
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look at me ♪ ♪ oh oh o foot pop look at me ♪ ♪ loomeat m look a look at me ♪ ♪ please please pleas look at me look at me ♪ ♪ look at m look at me oh oh oh ♪go >> oh, m you look at me, you think, "okay, she has it all. [ light laughter ] and it's true. i do i'm young, oh. i'm gorgeous oh but just this morng, i had one sip of cold brew and ruined my only butthole. laughter ] that's right stars, they're just like us. [ laughter ] okay, the rumors are true. i'm single okay jaws are on the floor at this point. i went through a breakup recently breakups are cool. because it's like you have a best friend, and then they die [ laughter ] t it's okay. i didn't like having a boyfriend. i feel like the kind of girls " who are always like, boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend," are the same kind of girls who are like, "there's actually too much sugar in fruit. [ laughter ] so for me, it's a dessert.
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[ laughter ]ck but i'm getting ba out there i'm in the mix i'm dating i love sex, 'cause it famously has no consequences.ug [ laer ] i was hoing up with a guy recently and mid moment, he goes, "oh, yeah, i love that fat, fat ass." and i was like, "hmm, maybe one fat was enough." [ laughter ] i do bravely want to be thin because of society yeah, she went there she went there on late-night tv. you're obsessed. you're obsessed.d. you're obses that guy who i hooked up with, i met him at a bar and he was like, "i live close to the bar i can bike us back to my place you can ride on my pegs. i was like, "absolutely not. he was like, "no, no, it's okay. it can hold 0 pounds." i was like, "okay, you don't know what math is. you aren't my type."la hter ] i just think it's, like, every chubby girl's nightmare to be,
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like, carried in a playful way [ light laughter ] like, i'm pretty sure when i was born, the nurse, like, picked me up and handed me to my mom and i was like, "it's okay you can put me down. [ laughter ] said, "help. ♪ this is healthy what i'm doing is health this is a good way ♪ ♪ to work [ bleep ] out yeard for the re met boy who want to kiss ♪ ♪ some even want to put their [ bleep ] in my mout but it's never enough ♪ elp spin boys never wanted to kiss me so now i do comedy ♪ >> lunge ow, help ♪ boys never wanted to kiss me so i need all of you ♪ ♪ to look at please please please pleas look at me ♪ ♪ look at m look at me look at me ♪ oh oh look at me look at me ♪ ♪ look at m look at me oh oh oh ♪ >> i'm shy ♪ look at m look at me look at me ♪ ♪ look at m please please please look a♪me ook at m look at me look at me ♪ ♪ oh oh o >> big finish, okay? ♪ look at me
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[ cheers and applause >> seth: catherine cohen, everybody!rs [ cheend applause at t-mobile, for $40/line for four lines, it's all included for the whole family, starting with unlimited data. use as much as you want, when you want. and if you like netflix, it's included on us. plus no surprises on your bill. taxes and fees are includ. and now for a limited time, with each new line, get e of our latest smartphones included. that's right, only $40/line for four lines and smartphones are included for the whole family.
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♪ >> announcer: for more "late night," go to latenightseth.com. follow us on instagram and twitter @latenightseth d be sure to check us out on
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youtube and facebook head over to itunes and subscribe to the "late nightye with seth me" podcast. you'll get "a closer look" and more downloaded right to your phone. we are here to discuss jessie's online time.
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[ cheers and applause ♪ >> seth: my thanks to laura dern, megan rapinoe, catherine cohen, everybody raghav mehrotra, and of course, the band. stay tuned for "carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: good evening. this is nbc. it's 1:30 in the morning, whh means it is time for "last ll

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