. >> it keeps getting worse and worse for newt gingrich. >> it newt finishes. >> charles krauthammer, just in two words. >> he's done. >> it is now functionally over for gingrich. >> jon: can't believe it. when newt gingrich was on his death bed, the media just divorced themselves from him. who does something like that? ( laughter ) but that's the political media. they care about two things-- are you anything to win ear are you dead?" bachmann got a taste of it back in july. >> look who is surging now. >> michele bachmann rockets up the ranks. >> michele bachmann. >> let's face it, michele bachmann has been surging in every single poll. >> jon: at this pace, by the time of the election, she'll be at 5,000%. she can't go wrong. but, sadly, not two months later. >> is it over for michele bachmann? >> that the end for michele bachmann? >> it's probably curtains for her ( laughter ). >> jon: yes, it's amazing what paying attention to a candidate can do to their candidacy. with the death of her campaign, who will rise to complete the circle of prolife? >> texas governor rick perry, jumping

>> to newt gingrich, i think. i think right now that anti-romney vote has coalesced arm around the former speaker. >> jon: voters leaf cain because they don't like he had an affair and go to the guy who had two of them! i guess newt gingrich becomes the candidate for people who like herman cain but think he was too monogamous. jason jones is sanding by. jason, where are you? >> i'm at rick santorum's campaign headquarters. >> jonquick note, if you're looking to directions for his headquarters do not-- and i cannot stress this enough-- search google ma maps. >> jon: i'm sorry, i'm just waiting for people do that and come back to the program. what's going on at santorum headquarters? >> he's what i can only describe as frothing mad. (laughter) about cain voters going to gingrich. >> jon: what why is he mad? >> what does he have to do to get respect? his credentials are unmatched. he's pro-life, anti-immigrant, strict creationist, he equates same-sex marriage with get to gt (bleep)ing. he blamed the catholic church's

poll showing newt gingrich, 38, mitt romney 18. >> stephen: it makes sense gingrich is rising. he appears to be the only candidate who appears to be made of dough. newt's campaign got off to a bit of a rocky start. back in june, instead of campaigning in iowa, newt wont a two-week luxury cruise through the greek isle aborn the "seaborn odyssey." in response his staff quit and his donors abandoned him, but yesterday we learned that was no pleasure cruise. it was a pleasure fact-finding mission. as newt explained to iowa voters, "i visited greece in june. i talked to people about what they were faced with in greece, and i listened to them, and i tried to understand that they faced a crisis of enormous proportions." yes, and we have some actual footage of the economic summit where newt got firsthand information about the greek debt crisis aboard the luxurious "seaborn odyssey," rubbing elbows and white gloves with your average jorgos, on the red carpet at the awl you can swill mion moasa bu-- mimosa buffets, and the roman baths. i believe that's the greek parliament there. there w

. >> newt gingrich is being dogged by a report that he earned $1.6 million consulting for freddie mac. >> president obama, are you prepared to give back all the money that freddie mac >> tonight is the environmental movement dead t is if it lives on a coral reef, i introduce a new form of substance abuse so frightening will you want to take a xanax. and my guest took months to build a toaster from scratch. his bed & breakfast should be open in the year 2021. the new italian prime minister has passed austerity measures. es a he going to cut back to one bunga. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) welcome to the report, everybody. thank you so much. good to you have with us. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to our continuing coverage of no shave november. i want you to know after that warm greeting, not only are you welcome here, you are first here. nation-- (applause) it's no surprise i am addicted to all the

gingrich! (laughter) nation, they say every time god closes a door he opens a window. that's why heaven has such huge air conditioning bills. (laughter) this is yahweh or no way. (cheers and applause) folks, everybody knows i'm the most famous catholic on television. i am the only one in late night with his own chaplain. i am basically the pope of basic cable. so when something happens in the catholic church, everyone is waiting for my imprimatur, my nihil obstat, my my doggo doggare pupsi bite'em. (laughter) well, on sunday the holy roman catholic church, the one true bride of christ turned into a girl gone wild. >> catholics probably noticed changes during mass. the church is now using a new english translation of the ritual text used for celebrating mass. >> stephen: yes. they changed the words to the mass. they put the new words on this little card right here. caught me by total surprise. the catholic church is not known for changing its position-- missionary, by the way. (laughter) so the

. >> newt gingrich is being dogged by a report that he earned $1.6 million consulting for freddie mac. >> president obama, are you prepared to give back all the money that freddie mac >> tonight, how the super committee cut the deficit? if you have an answer, please forward it to the super committee. and my guest susan orlean has written a biography of rin tin tin. halfway through the interview i will get distracted by a squirrel. in honor of thanksgiving, i am doing the whole show with my pants unbuttoned. this is the "colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the report. thank you so much for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! ( cheers ) >> stephen: thank you so much. thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. please, enough. here organization heroes, all. nation, you know if you watch this show that i have always respected "people" magazine. ( laughter ) as a reliable news source. never forget-- they were the only ones to break the story of richard gere's

gingrich. three of these comrades don't even want to electrocute mexicans. now thankfully, bachmann has turned this outrage into an outrage-portunity. on sunday her campaign fired off an e-mail to supporters saying please show your support by tweeting your outrage to cbs news. afterwards i hope will you make a donation to michele's campaign to ensure she has the funds necessary to foyt back against the liberal media. and folks, it's true. michele bachmann needs your donations because to the only does the media have a liberal bias, but evidently so does money. nation, i have got some great news. we solved the global warming crisis! jimmy, drop the styrofoam! whooo! whooo! we did it! whooo! (cheers and applause) clean up this mess real quick, hold on, let me just-- (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: -- script seems to be missing. so how did we do it? alternative energy? carbon sequestering? no, the best answer is always the simplist. we stopped caring. (laughter) we must have. why else

>> newt gingrich is being dogged by a report that he earned $1.6 million consulting for freddie mac. >> president obama, are you prepared to give back all the money that freddie mac >> tonight, how the super committee cut the deficit? if you have an answer, please forward it to the super committee. and my guest susan orlean has written a biography of rin tin tin. halfway through the interview i will get distracted by a squirrel. in honor of thanksgiving, i am doing the whole show with my pants unbuttoned. this is the "colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the report. thank you so much for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. >> stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! stephen! ( cheers ) >> stephen: thank you so much. thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. please, enough. here organization heroes, all. nation, you know if you watch this show that i have always respected "people" magazine. ( laughter ) as a reliable news source. never forget-- they were the only ones to break the story of richard gere's

newt. and he's got a reputation as the right idea man. so why can't he win? well, because every one of those ideas is seasoned with just a hint, just a pinch, just a lot of what can be best described as dickishness. (laughter) >> the news media doesn't report accurately how the economy works. my colleagues have done a terrific job of answering an absurd question. to say in 30 seconds -- >> you have said you want to repeal obamacare. >> let me finish, if i may, what is amazing to me is the inability of much of our academic world, much of our news media and most of the people on occupy wall street to have a clue about history. >> jon: hmmmm, you know, if i may, newt, everybody loves the pillsbury doughboy. but nobody's going to vote for his angrier know it all brother. >> what the elitist in the mainstream media won't tell you is-- eat a [bleep]. >> jon: all right, moving down. because-- no, looks like the pillsbury doughboy a little bit. (laughter) moving down the list. ron paul? the guy's for gay marriage, legalizing drugs and against military spending. he's