. >>> plus, jon stewart imagines what kind of dancing there would have been if george w. bush had been the president to get osama bin laden. that clip later in the show. >>> first, let's get to the news live at 5:30 a.m. here at 30 rock in new york city. >>> a new suicide attack by the taliban this morning underscores the long-term challenges that face afghanistan, challenges president obama addressed from kabul last night in the trip to the war zone to lay out what he called a new chapter in the u.s. mission there. at least seven people were killed by insurgents today, just hours after the president left the country. marking the one-year anniversary of the mission that killed osama bin laden, president obama met are u.s. troops on that unannounced visit and later with a national audience watching back home where the president outlined his vision for ending this nation's longest war. >> my fellow americans, we've traveled through more than a decade under the dark cloud of war, yet here in the predawn darkness of afghanistan we can see the light of a new day on the horizon

i'm jon stewart, i know everything. people are sick of it. this perception of you out there -- don't touch my ferns! >> i'm sorry. >> don't touch them. don't -- please don't touch them. >> i'm sorry. >> i've been to the movies, though. it's not like i haven't done things. >> stood around with a monkey in a movie, baby strapped to the chinchilla. you've been in movies. >> people liked that movie. >> helms is in movies. >> he's in the same movie i was talking about. >> oh, i don't remember you. i remember ed helms in a great movie with this [ bleep ] guy carrying a monkey. >>> tweets texts and e-mails are next. and "morning joe" live this morning from washington, moments away. [ kyle ] my bad. [ roger ] tell me you have good insurance. yup, i've got... [ dennis ] ...allstate. really? i was afraid you'd have some cut-rate policy. [ kyle ] nope, i've got... [ dennis ] ...the allstate value plan. it's their most affordable car insurance -- and you still get an allstate agent. i too have... [ dennis ] ...allstate. [ roger ] same agent and everythin

jon stewart can say it is in the name of comedy and people can like his show and tune in. it is not a boycott because delta airlines chose to sponsor his show. they just chose not to. they had fans as well saying maybe that is pushing the boundaries and we don't like that and we don't approve. delta airlines is taking back their money that they didn't have to give membe them in thet place. >> sean: what is bothering me is organized campaigns. i hate to defend them because but i'm standing on principle here and the principle is simple to me is that this is an effort to silence speech. i don't want to silence it but i agree in principle with the catholic league's objections. >> and everyone on the left turns out to be a comedian. bill maher has a political commentary show. almost 00% of bill maher's show is about politics. you can't pass that off as politics any more than you could say, sean, i am a comedian. >> sean: rush limbaugh is funny. part of talk radio you have to be entertaining. serious commentary. >> but that wouldn't work for him. he wouldn't be able to use that

that and liberal jon stewart is being boycotted and there is some early success with this. we'll delve into that tonight as well. as well as emmitt terrell, straight ahead. you know, we're a little early for this thing... want to hop in the back and get weird? no. family vacation... vegas. ♪ no. no. give it a big yank! really? yeah! [ knock on window ] no! no. ♪ ugh, no! [ sighs ] we can have hotdogs for dinner?! yes. [ male announcer ] in a world filled with "no," it's nice to finally say "yes." new oscar mayer selects hotdogs. made with 100% beef and no artificial preservatives. it's yes food. >> sean: and it was primary night in america on tuesday and the results in three crucial races show the momentum is currently now on the side of the gop. wisconsin where unions are attempting to recall republican governor scott walker but if yesterday's outcome is any independencecation, wellion big labor has a lot of work to do because as the "milwaukee journal sentinel" points out walker received more votes than all of his potential democratic opponents combined. this despite

: say, hell woman to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. great show, peter bergen, author of the new book manhunt. i know bhau are thinking, are you just saying that so you can say abbottabad, i know. i'm sure it will be an interesting conversation. lev laugh. >> jon: as you know osama bin laden has been all over the news this being the onier an verse ar of his passing. >> good morning, we are getting a brand-new look into the mind of osama bin laden. parts of bin laden's personal letters nabbed from his compound in pakistan by navy seals have just been released. >> jon: whooo! personal letters. of bin laden. dear wife number 7. (laughter) >> jon: how is son number 19? i miss you. tell me what you are wearing? over your face. laugh laugh come on, the guy was run one of the world's most feerdz terrorist network. i can't imagine he had a lot of time to keep up with correspondent. >> nbc news has been told by senior officials that there were as many as 15,000 distinct individual documents that were taken from that compound when bin laden was k

from colt this is the daily show with jon stewart. >> jon: welcome to the the daily show. my name is is jon stewart. let me tell you about our guest. we're very excited about this. zach wahls, author of the book "my two moms." it is an ode to his two moms and how they raised him. it's going to make what you got your for mom on mother's day really just... look, flowers. well, zach wahls, he wrote his moms a book. take your flowers and go (beep) yourself. ( cheers and applause ) listen. good to be here. it's good you're cheering tonight because we begin tonight talking about the young people. generation-x. what's that? they're up to 40 now. oh, my god. how old am i? what? that is outrageous. i can't even hear you. they say young people are in play this election year. it won't be enough for presidential candidates to make a couple token mtv appearances and pretend they have j-z on their walkman. is that... what? what do you mean people don't listen to the walkman anymore. all right. these candidates will have to do real heavy duty pandering like on the subject of student loan

i'm jon stewart. our guest tonight is the author of a great new book on home gardening. [ laughter ] and -- [cheers and applause] -- anyway, we're excited to have the first lady tonight. first, real quick off the top. we've been out of office two weeks. when i'm on vacation the only news i keep up is the latest. obviously i read the huffington post my one stop source. the latest scoop involves miley cyrus and her side boob. next 20 that i crossing this story about how roger ailes said i admitted to him in a bar that i'm a socialist. now, i didn't doubt the story. [ laughter ] i know watching fox news makes you misinformed. but running it doesn't. but i couldn't remember so -- and this is true, i called him not on the phone. i sat in front of the mirror and said his name three times. so, sorry. no. he called me back. very gracious he called me back. roger ailes called me back and reminded me that 12 years ago we met in philadelphia at the republican convention in a bar and then it all came flooded back

my name is jon stewart. we got one tonight. our guest tonight ambassador ivo daalder which i'm assuming is just another sasha baron cohen character so. we're excited about -- actually the ambassador to nato. maybe he will bomb us. [ laughter ] tonight we begin some place very special. [ laughter ] submitted for your approval a small town near virginia maryland border. meet joe a simple fellow who speaks from his heart. his honesty is about to trap him in a terible place a place where straightforward sentiment is three days of (bleep). a place we call washington, d.c. [ laughter ] [twilight zone music playing] [ laughter ] i probably should have gone with like zone or vortex would have made more sense. anyway, last sunday vice president biden made an appearance on "meet the press" and was asked about gay marriage. >> i am absolutely comfortable with the fact that men marrying men, women marrying women and heterosexual men and women are entitled to the same exact rights, all the civil rights, all the civil liberties. >> jon: a mo

stewart jon stewart's not dealing in fear and suddenly you know that appealing to their dad and he said attaining but he's also analyzing he's not appealing to the reptilian brain the medulla back there that always thinks about you know killing people and what somebody is trying to do to me which is what the other guys are doing so that does help but still you don't see them going off to start their own network rush limbaugh is not that stupid so there's that aspect of keeping that market and being renumerated being paid for it to deliver what they need to deliver to the sponsors but they're not going to overstep and overreach and i think that's what katie couric oprah has certainly done it c.n.n. has done it by putting their trust in piers morgan but making a reasonable bet with say soledad o'brien in the morning which is a reasonable alternative to the morning shows where you see the big seller it's especially on n.b.c. with matt lauer but at least met lauer is he's going to keep it in his comfort zone he might not be worth it in terms of. the news and entertainment product but he's w

from comedy central, world news headquarters in new york this is the daily show with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stewart: welcome to the daily show, ladies and gentlemen! >> get ready for tonight, our guest tonight is going to come out. tj as i call him. he and i won't the same school. but not at the same time. many of you may already know this. today is a special day. one year anniversary of the death of osama bin laden, just 12 months ago parents across the country suddenly explained to their children why they just shouted at the tv. >> yeah! oh!, oh, yeah! >> bin laden -- one year later, this ad touting obama's presidential leadership during the race while subtly questioning his opponent's judgment. that ad is -- >> this administration is not above political sizing any issue for personal gain, politicizing what -- an event that all americans am lawed enormously, it is deplorable to politicize this. >> the president is going to spike the football and all of this, we shouldn't gloat about it. >> running cam

(cheers and applause) my name is jon stewart. got a good one tonight. we're going to have a visit. our guest is john hall. he is the dean of westminster abbey and i cannot wait to find out whether he is a hufflepuff or griffin dorr. (laughter) yesterday on this program... for those of you who watched, i don't watch this program, reasonable people can disagree. we e may have insinuated president obama was somehow being disingenuous in giving in to his most base political calculations by not just saying he favors same-sex marriage and equal rights for all americans. that his position is evolving is weak tea what we didn't know at the time is that he had planned this: . >> it's important for me to go ahead and affirm that i think same-sex couples should be able to get married. (cheers and applause). >> jon: there you have it. the president of the united states is gay. (laughter) friendly. gay friendly. (laughter) damn you, ellipsis. (laughter) and i think we all know who deserves the credit for this. >> i'll take a lot of credit. (laughter) >> jon: so exciting positive news for equal

my name is jon stewart. what a show tonight, dan rather, the legendary newsman dan rather is here. let's begin tonight with the big news in politics. >> this is a fox news alert. governor romney winning the texas primary and securing enough delegate delegates to bee g.o.p. nominee. >> jon: it is official after 28 years, $2 trillion, and three unsolved murders later, wilbeerdink cummerbund romney will be the republican presidential mom network or rom-in-ey. you want to use that? you want to use rom-in-ey? lawyer up. you want to use, that lawyer up. my lawyer from the firm ( bleep ) you and pay me. i guess that's it. the coney island mermaid's parade that was the republican primaries is done. we're left with five months of obama v. romney. yup. ( laughter ) five months of johnny pregnant pause... >> for years what we've heard is the piggest problem on the bench was judicial activism or a lack of judicial restraint. that, uh, unelected... group of people would somehow overturn-- uh, uh, a dual constituted and passed-- uh... ( laughter ) >> jon: what is going on in-- i feel like in the

roger ailes versus jon stewart. what is the fight about and who wins when we come back. wanna know the difference between a trader and an elite trader? it's this... the etrade pro platform. fast. beautiful. totally customizable. finds top performing stocks -- in three clicks. quickly scans the market for new trading ideas. it can even match options strategies to your goals and lets you see the potential risk and reward. and, it also comes with a dedicated elite service team. got it? get it. good. introducing new etrade pro elite. ♪ ♪ >>> roger ailes just gave a speech at ohio university and he said that msnbc is out of the news business. what business is fox news in? and then he said "new york times" was assess -- a cesspool of bias. and look at this. we give him so much rich material because we are so stupid he can make fun of us all day long. and the second part i enjoy is jon stewart saying hey, buddy let me tell you a secret at a bar.

my eight children say they get their news from jon stewart and twitter which i don't understand it. k new talk about the history of parity? >> wonderful subject. there have been lampoons lampoons, satires and one of the discoveries i made was the amount of satire and in direction of journalism of 18th century. even his own newspaper ad tremendous amount is not straightforward and did your objective reporting. in this murky and funny with the references but most is to make a political point* to at the expense of the journalistic rivals. as soon as you have to newspaper towns, there's competition they start to mock each other. >> that would never have been today. [laughter] is a great tradition. i think jon stewart pez eight fantastic job and the staff does an amazing job to find video to make all the poins it is a tremendous public service. >> i think the spirit of satire has been loose for a long time. it is a way to bring institutions down a little bit to. >> i am tremendously pleased everyone here made it. i would welcome anybody who was not familiar to jump in and find unexpected

jon stewart turned conversation to some of the cushier jobs in the obama administration. >> are there people in the white house could you go like i could do that guy's job? >> no one. >> how about the biden joe -- everything going, well, okay. >> i love joe. >> i love joe, too. isn't it hard to raise a kid around biden? i would assume -- that if there's a lot of like joe language, or -- like he's like the uncle that comes over and like, you brought them guns. oh -- like that kind of thing. is that? >> no. >> no, he's -- >> no, he's a great vice president and he's a great friend. >> that's nice. >> my kids hang around him. >> staying right on message. >>> still ahead on "way too early," your persistent tweets, texts and emails are next. mine was earned off vietnam in 1968. over the south pacific in 1943. i got mine in iraq, 2003. usaa auto insurance is often handed down from generation to generation. because it offers a superior level of protection, and because usaa's commitment to serve the military, veterans and their families is without equal. begin your legacy, get an auto insuranc